Sunday, June 4, 2006 02:50 p.m.

      Sometimes I drive my own self up the wall. There are times when I try endlessly to correct myself, situations and people to achieve that perfectionist touch that when I pause and look at myself, I stare at disbelief.

      There are times I have to restrain myself from hurling anger and disappointment at situations where I have no control over. It's so painful to hold it that my head buzzes loudly from the fury until a migraine sets in.

      Sometimes I feel so alone in the midst of things that the more I look for help or support, I find none that meets the need. I find nothing that would quench that desire to be acknowledged or recognised. I feel like one of the many people lost in the crowds.

      God, that's when I know I need you the most. That is when I refuse to voice out to people that I am hurt. That is when I run instead into my heavenly Father's arms and rest in His embrace.

      God, You are my supply, my satisfaction, my comfort and refuge.

      Thank You for always being there. Thank you for reminding me that I am never alone as I walk into unknown lands out there. Thank You for sitting in the dark room together with me as I am conditioning myself to learn to see more of the sunshine that is hiding behind those curtains that I've drawn over the window.

      Thank You, Jesus. Thank You.