Talk about using the number six [biblical significance: imperfection], Sophira Chong...never mind!

So... presenting...6 weird things about Catherineey:

Fact #1: I simply HATE eating durians
Yeah, I know I'm a Malaysian, but can't stand the horrid stench of durian. I get dizzy and get migrained if I smell them long enough! Imagine that! Even durian dodol is repulsive and lets not mention durian pancakes, durian roti-canai and durian ice cream! Oh double yucks!

Fact #2: I didn't choose to be called Catherine
There was this guy in church who kept calling me Catherine.. so people in church mistook that it was my English name...hahaha...so in the end I adopted it and now that is why you can call me Catherine :p

Fact #3: I hate children but no one believes me I think children are created to cause me more headaches but fate has it that I'm surrounded by kids of all ages and height. If I had my way, I would really ignore a crying kid, but somehow... I'm acting against my real nature...sigh...I'm such a not-obvious child-hater ;)

Fact #4: I have excellent memory of conversations, movie lines etc Yes, its my hidden superpower! I can recall things I've said to friends, the exact words for things that happened maybe 5 years ago?! For Lion King, I memorised every single character's script until the finish! Weird!

Fact #5: I like reading anything
Yes, it's true! I'm a bookworm, born as one...will always be one!

Fact #6: I hate goodbyes
If anyone leaves for good...or goes off to study, graduate..etc etc anything! I get really sentimental and I cry easily.

God...let this be my song to You...

Dekat padaMu itu rinduku
Setiap kataku Kau pun menunggu
Tak kusangka kutemukan satu kasih yang abadi
Kini kudatang dan kubawa hidupku

Being near You is my deepest desire
You too await my words to reach You
But I never knew I would meet an eternal Love
So now I come and bring to You my life

Memandang wajahMu
Mengikuti kebaikanMu
Mengejar hadirMu
dalam hidupku

Looking to Your Face
Following Your goodness
Pursuing Your presence
In my life

Membawa sembahku
Menyatakan kebesaranMu
Mengejar hadirMu
dalam hidupku

Let me bring my offering
As I speak of Your greatness
Pursuing Your presence
In my life

Lately, it's been tough to keep my emotions and mind focused on God for the past week. There have been times when I cried out in frustration, "God, why does it always have to be me?!" The part of me that would rather just dump everything and run to a place where people would not have expectations on me, to be a nobody and just be a wallflower and blend in until I'm forgotten...

... but I know I can't.

I choose not to give up. I choose to do the right thing NOT just because that's what I've been taught to do...not because its "Christian-like"..but because I love God. My refraining from running away from being a leader..my going against my own reluctance to stop being so goody-goody...Many, many things I could have let go and walked away from it..but God, I'm doing it for You.

*takes deep breath* God, I don't know what's going to happen to me... but You are with me. Be with me, ok? I'm kinda scared now but at least You're holding my hand.

      Yesterday, yours truly took a trip to the National Zoo to scout the land to torture a big group of GRC kids there on a field trip. It was humid but I actually enjoyed it, so it wasn't such a bad place to bring the kids to.

      But the drama unfolded when mom started calling me and she sounded a bit disturbed on the line. But I told her I'd call her back. She called back again and I told her the same thing. Because she sounded agitated by then, I called her back and asked her what was the matter. Below is the following conversation:

Mom: Brace yourself...I have something to tell you.
Me: Ok. What is it? (she has cancer? she wants to scold me? something dreadful has happened to someone I know?)
Mom: He's looking for you.
Me: He's looking for me, huh?
Mom: You know, him
Me: You... you mean... him? You mean DAD...is looking for me?

      For those of you who know me well enough, my parents have been divorced since I was a kid. The last time I saw my father was when I was 10 years old. Fast forward to now, its been 15 years since I last saw him. And now...

      ... he's looking for me.

      At that moment, so many things rushed through my mind - the divorce, him being not around in my life, not having a father for so many years...a hundred trillion things rushed through my mind...but one thing stood out and deep within my heart...

      ... the prayer last year that I prayed in cell group as I shared with my cell members where I said, "I want to find my dad one day so that I can tell him that I've finally forgiven him because God is in my life and I'm forgiven and therefore I forgive my dad for what he's done in the past. I want to share the gospel of God's love to him too..."

      My prayer is answered!!! My dad is looking for me!!! I always imagined that he would come looking for me. I told God that I didn't want to hurt mom by looking for him and I'd rather that dad would somehow one day find me and we'd see each other again... and now...it is answered! Until yesterday, my memory of dad's face was always fuzzy. Suddenly I'm starting to remember how he looked like!

      To cut the long story short of yesterday's encounter... I got hold of his sister's number...and called and left my number. Now I'm waiting for him...my dad...to call. Suddenly I realise that now I have a new contact in my handphone's phonebook which reads... Daddy. It's weird to see it there. It's also weird to call his sister my aunt because I have never seen or been in contact with anyone from my dad's side of the family. My "aunt" tried to get my current address in Wangsa Maju, but I wasn't comfortable in giving it and just gave my handphone number. She was worried that I would change my number and run off again... all I could say in return was...

      "If I wanted to run and avoid dad, I wouldn't made this call in the first place. I've already made the first step."

      God, thank You for answering my prayers. All things will work for good and I'm excited to see how the rest of this year unfolds now that someone from the past is suddenly involved in my present.

      Dad, when are you going to call me? I can't wait to see you! I want to tell you that God answered my prayers and yours too!

      {10:19pm, 04 March, 2007}
      I realise that God really had all this planned. I know if dad turned up the years before I knew God, I would have sent him away, scolded him, cursed him and hated him even more. Now, I don't even feel mad at all. In fact, I can't stop telling people that this is an answered prayer!

Sunday March 04, 2007
Layer 1 : On the Outside

Name: Catherine Ong Mei Ling
Birth date: 6 February 1982
Current status: Single but not available
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Black and a leetle bit brown
Righty or lefty: Right.

Layer 2 : On the Inside

My heritage: Chinese
My fears: Disappointing people that trust me
My weaknesses: I get emotionally involved with people, things
My perfect pizza: Stuffed crust, prawn, pineapple and pepperoni and lots of pepper

Layer 3 : Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

My thoughts first waking up: I want to sleep some more! Plllleeeeease....
My bedtime: 11-12ish at night My most missed memory: Planetshakers Conference 2004

Layer 4 : My Pick

Pepsi or Coke: Coke, definitely coke...I'm a coke-aholic!
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's of course baby!
Single or grouped dates: Grouped
Adidas or Nike: BOTH (greedy)
Tea or Nestea: Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee

Layer 5 : Do You...
Smoke: No
Curse: No
Take a shower: Yes
Have a crush: Now..not anymore... last time, yes
Think you've been in love: Crushes only, no romance yet
Go to school: School of God counts?
Want to get married: Most certainly
Believe in yourself: Yes
Think you're a health freak: Nope

Layer 6 : In the Past

Drank alcohol: Yes, but never got drunk
Gone to the mall: Yes, because Malaysia is obsessed with building mall after mall!
Been on stage: Yes
Eaten sushi: Yes
Dyed your hair: Yes

Layer 7 : Have You Ever...

Played a stripping game: NO
Changed who you were to fit in: Yes, not a good experience

Layer 8 : Age You're Hoping...

To get married: Before 30 if he comes along but if not, then God determines la

Layer 9 : In a Guy

Best eye color: Brown
Best hair color: Black
Short or long hair: Short and neat

Layer 10 : What Were You Doing

A minute ago: Chatting with friend on MSN
Hour ago: Having lunch after church
4-5 hours ago: Just woke up from sleep
1 month ago: Don't remember
Year ago: Online, maybe

Layer 11 : Finish the Sentences

I love: God, teaching, singing and playing the guitar, debating, badminton, being alone when I need to be
I feel: Confused, nervous, happy and curious all rolled into one now
I hate: Telling lies, being taken for granted and ignored without reason
I hide: My feelings when they get hurt. No one knows unless I choose to reveal it.
I miss: Being able to have a place to run to and hide and have a good cry
I need: To put up another blog post to share something personal and awesome! Tags: Roanne and Bernice!

      How conscious are we of God in everything we do? In our work, as we talk with our friends, serve in church, help our parents... everything... just how much percent of our 24 hours (aside of sleeping) are we conscious of God?

      It's just a question to pose to those who claim they believe in God and profess to love Him and serve Him. For me... the way I make myself conscious of God is everytime I'm doing something... I imagine that Jesus will walk in and He will see me in the midst of something - - - and I want everything that I do... to glorify Him.

      When you are in the middle of doing something and God walks in... will you feel happy / sad / angry / embarassed / at peace?

      Here's the tag question: How much % of your 24 hours are you aware of God? I choose to tag: Soph, Hosanna, Grace, Josh, Roanne, Bryan, Edwin.

      *finally changed the colour and cut and pasted some new links into my blog, I am officially satisfied I did some blog spring cleaning*

      Today is really a free day for me. I took the liberty to explore some blogs here and there, just to reread some of my old entries as well and get a perspective of what's going on in the lives of some that I know.

      Someone asked me the other day if I'm going to go on working at GRC and teach. By my qualifications, I should be out there in the sales line selling medical products, pushing papers in a biochemical company, tutoring or lecturing in a science faculty in some local tertiary institution of learning... I have that option...I think it boggles the minds of those close to me or those distant as well... my bachelor of science degree is gathering dust perhaps at the moment (in their eyes).

      Frankly, I can't promise that I will stay forever in GRC. But I will say this... I won't leave until God tells me to. At the moment, leaving is not on my mind. But sometimes when people who don't understand my choices ask me...I just reply, "Not planning to leave yet." That's as much as I can say and nothing more or nothing less.

      This job has been a real blessing. Never have I been in a job where I have the opportunity to nurture, encourage and teach. Not only that, I have the honour of being taught by individuals that never cease to amaze me all the time - my students.

Josh :
He's the boy in school who generally drives me up the wall with his antics but at the same time, has a smile that threatens to melt my irritation at him. He's a real charming boy and underneath the tough "tai kor-ness" he has, he has a soft heart. Kids aren't afraid of him and are drawn to him. He's the driver of people, a bit rough at times...but he's a diamond in the rough... a great leader of people in the making.

Jon Roberts:
He's probably the blurrest one of my lot. But I think ignorance is bliss really for him. Tall, dark and handsome. This 15 year old boy has such great patience. I've seen him being bullied but he has never lost his temper. He has this cute habit of saying, "Ms. Catherine... I was thinking right...like you know..." which ultimately leads to him asking for a favour from me. But he's a sweet boy, when I ask him to do anything, he does it to for me.

Sophira Chong:
Quiet when she needs to be, crappy when she wants to be, serious when she's required to be. For a 15 year old, her wit, humour and sharpness of mind is waaaay beyond her age. She's the one who surprises me time again by daring to be vocal at her closest friends despite peer pressure. She's a gem to have in class because she's friendly and never seems to let circumstances pull her down for long. [warning: use your hand to block out her eyes when u talk to her, so you won't be hypnotised into listening to her orders]

Kelvin Wong:
I totally respect this guy. Despite his struggle with his studies... he goes at it with enthusiasm and is not shy to ask for help. He's the one who has been improving all the way from the beginning. When I first taught in this school, he always sat at his seat and looked wary of his surroundings...but now he's the life of the group, he's the joker and the sensitive one - he notices things that others don't. Most of all, he takes the time to care for the younger ones and gives them understanding and attention.

Grace Goh:
She hates to get into trouble... but when things do happen to others...she'll be there begging for mercy on their behalf. Many times, if it wasn't for her, I think I would have floundered on how to help in the worship team and other activities. Although she professes every occasion that, "I'm not a leader!!! Really! Not my gifting!!!" the number of lives that follow her lead is testimony enough whether she is a leader of not. I've seen her hold those tears when if given the choice...they would have fell a long time ago.

Naomi:
What can I say? She's every teacher's helper. If you need someone to help out voluntarily, Naomi will be the one. Her enthusiasm and energy can amaze you all the time! I know she loves God a lot. So many times I marvel at just how much she is involved with the things of God. In school, she cares for her friends and is always ready to defend and counsel. Thumbs up, mate!

Stay tuned for more! My fingers ache at the moment to write anymore...