Oh, my aching feet! Last Saturday I walked in KLCC nonstop for 4 hours, took the LRT and strolled in Chinatown for another hour. Sunday rushed to Cineleisure to watch 20 minutes to perform [who were awesome btw] and stood for another 2-3 hours. Monday went out to One Utama and watched Spiderman 3 with PJ kiddies and walked until 6pm, rushed to KLCC and watched Pirates of The Caribbean 3 [VERY GOOD SHOW] until 10.30pm. Yesterday [Tuesday] walked in Times Square for about 4 hours and then strolled in Carrefour for a good 2-3 hours.

      Conclusion: I'VE WALKED ALOT. I AM OFFICIALLY SCARED OF WALKING IN SHOPPING CENTRES AND HYPERMARKETS!!!! YIEEEE...

      Hahaha... but it was a good experience. I enjoyed my day with my kiddies, the singing of 20 minutes and spending time with my friend shopping for her stuff before she flies off to UK.

      Later today, will need to take a stroll to the hardware shop and plumber's to do some enquiries. Bargain some prices for an internet switchboard and LAN cables too. After that, decide what to bring for our Education Booth at the Freshies Nite v2.0 at church later this evening. Yupss, today is going to be a full day again *grin*

      So, how has the past few days been for you?

      Today was the celebration of the last day of school AND Teacher's Day as well. Thank you to all my kiddies at GRC PJ! I really, really love all the gifts. You have no idea how jealous my friends are right now. I have proudly displayed all the trinkets and gifts on my table in my apartment's living room and I feel so blessed and loved. Thanks GRC!!!

      OOOOH... one more thing! This Sunday at Cineleisure, the regional finals for DiGi Celebriteenz will be held at 2 p.m. So do go and watch it because the group 20 Minutes which were featured in the NST a few days ago which consist of GRC USJ students - Tammy, Joshua J, Joelle and Michelle Ooi - are going to go up against other contestants. Homeschoolers, I command thee to go and support and scream yer lungs out to cheer them on! I'm going, Mr. Fan is going, and I'll see you there too!

      On a more personal note, things have been going great on my side. I'm shifting room from the master bedroom to the middle room for privacy and space. So its been a few days of rearranging my furniture and packing up stuff. I haven't unpacked but the thought of it is exciting and boring at the same time, because I hate wiping dust off my stuff.

      Also, currently my church is getting into our annual Harvest Season. A time of about 3-4 months where we go all out caring and loving all the college and university freshmen who come from all over the nation to study in the busy area of Wangsa Maju. That includes helping people find rooms, moving their stuff for them, teaching them how to get a new desktop or laptop for their usage, cooking dinners to reduce the ache of missing homecooked food, shopping for furniture with them, going to watch movies together, organising football matches, holding talks about life in KL for the freshies in church.... the list just goes on. It's a fun time and excellent time to lift up our Christian testimony and reach out to those who have yet to hear of the gospel. Of course physically we get kinda drained on the way, but we try to rest. So there's not going to be much unnecessary outings for me for a looooooong time until the month of September! I'm just glad I'm on 2 weeks of school holidays! Praise God!

      Also, I had a dream the other night. In the dream, I saw a good friend's father. When I was in the dream, I felt wretched, I felt discouraged and I felt quite exposed. Because I had the strong conviction inside the dream that my friend's dad knew EVERYTHING that was going on in my life. The hurt, the disappointment, the failures.e.. he knew it all! And yet, my friend's dad said, "Don't give up on what you are doing. You're ok, you're fine." And I felt comforted a lot because when I woke up, a sense of calm an assurance was within me. I knew that THAT wasn't my friend's dad, he was just a metaphor or symbol of GOD. That's why he knew EVERYTHING I was going through. I felt ugly before him in the dream though on the outside you would have found me to be perfectly all right. God saw right through me. But He didn't scold me, He didn't rebuke me...instead...

      He encouraged me. Press on, Catherine. Move on. Don't be bogged down. Don't stop, never give up!

      And I believe with all my heart, that if you are reading this and you wish you could find such assurance. You yearn for such dreams... I'm telling you, don't. We don't chase the experiences we have with God. We chase THE ONE who gave us that experience in the first place. No one is immune to problems or change. There will ALWAYS, I guarantee you, always moments when you might fail, feel like you're a failure and worst still, think you've failed everyone including God. It's normal. But after we realise we've done something wrong, the mistake we make is WE DON'T MOVE ON. We might have repented and said sorry, but WE DON'T MOVE ON!

      There are huge amounts of Christians out there who allow themselves to be trapped by their past hurts and wounds. Yes, friends and family have hurt you in the past. But if it is truely on the cross, it will stay nailed there. Even if the people continue with their hurtful ways, you have nailed the hurt they inflict upon you ON THE CROSS. Means, it stays dead on the cross. You have the enabling now to resist the temptation to spiral into depression. Initially, it's difficult. It might take you a long time to overcome even a certain bad habit. But the important thing is to never give up because the best has yet to come!

      There have been times when I wanted to just throw things aside and ignore or forget about them. But I can't. I am answerable one day to God about how I handled my life, Because my life isn't just about me or me and God; it's about what I do with my life WILL definitely influence others. When we wallow in self-pity, we deprive others of our care. When we look at ourselves and our past, we stop moving on... and you will find that one day others have moved forward and you struggle to make up for the BIG distance you put between yourself and others.

      I am learning a big lesson from teaching - A student can only be helped if they want to be helped. There are times when I wish things would change for a particular student for example, but I can't force it into being. But I am the kind of person who can't stand seeing people headed towards trouble etc etc. I just can't. That's why the struggle within sometimes becomes like disappointment with myself. But as I was saying about perspective, I have to look at it as that person is on their way to learn about life in the way God wants to. I can only just stay around and advise when I am needed.

      Life is tough. But its not the excuse one gives just to skip studying during the holidays. When things go haywire, submit your plans to God. He has better ways for you, consult Him and you will know HIm!

      Depression. It sinks in. You wish you could just crawl under something and disappear from sight. Just to enjoy that brief moment of being away from prying eyes, sharp ears and swift comments. You wish. You just wish. Don't you?

      But what if there was a divine reasoning behind the suffering you go through everyday. What if there is a higher reason why some of us have literally weird and unpleasant lives? What if? What if really?

      Take the loneliness as a challenge. I assure you that you will rage, you will cry and complain. But remember that after all that....God never changes. He never will. The things that He has promised - strength, courage, HOPE - never change.

      Don't let the devil have the last laugh at you. Last thing you want to allow him is to control your emotions and keep you down. You want to live the full life that Jesus promised, you have to start looking at things through His perspective.

      Email me. Text me. Whatever it is, don't hide from it anymore. Don't give up. God hasn't. So you aren't allowed to give up.