¡Viva La Revolution!

>One, Two, Three thousand and three<
I love you, you love me, now i know my ABC, nick nack paddy wack give a dog a bone this old man came rolling home.
What did I do yesterday? nothing. i really need to get that sixth form history revision book somehow...i have the money, but i need the transport. Oh i did nothing at chez brett yesterday. my mind is actually a blank. In the evening we stayed in, that is to say, Brett, JP, Ben, and unfortunately Aaron. We were later subjected to Kate and Cushla as well. As much as it was a nothing Saturday night, it reminded me of old times, when friends were simple, without backstabbing and all that shite. Although my Grammar friend group is pretty good right now i don't understand why we ever needed to bitch at each other. Life is full of mysteries. After locking Aaron out, we slept, or tried to, we broke the record for the amount of people sleeping on Brett's bed, as weird as that may sound. But those are what the old days are all about. Oh, we also made a trip to Potter's park at one point, and i had fun, and how! I didn't sleep well last night, many pains all over my body from uncomfortable sleeping positions. Déja vû? oui!
I think i should describe aaron and our reaction to him. I may have described him before, but i am going to again. I try not to hate people without them being mad at me, and i don't really hate aaron, although i used to hassle him alot, now i try to make a conscious decision to not, but all to often i find talking to him a joke in itself, he is the most useless person in the world. He is my mothers lawyers son, but that isn't how i know him. he is also fifth form at MAGS, and i am suprised he hasn't tried to OD on antibiotics yet. heh. as mean as this sounds i dont think too many people would miss him. he comes round to bretts uninvited and just comes and stands or sits next to us, and listens to us talk, play games and other stuff like that. it is like having someone reading over your shoulder, only one million times worse because they have the worst haircut in the world (he put on his baseball cap and his parents shaved his hair around the edge of the cap), and they are ugly- i could say he repulses me. and the worst part, when, on the oft occasion, he does speak, it is something boring or completely interesting or something to make himself look cool- but it is all lies. he told us that he punched his dean, when he was in america he apparently 'got with an 18 year old cheerleader'. right aaron, and even so, would we care? He is honestly the most socially inept person i have ever laid eyes on. and i know it is mean, but i just cannot stand him, especially when i am talking to someone and he comes next to us with his long toe nails and stares. once he came over, asked if anyone was there when we were all out, and he then proceeded to wait for two hours for us to come back. he was also telling us how his brother and his dad were brawling. right aaron. argh! worst person ever. and don't you judge me until you meet him, and if anyone wants to judge me off this tell me, and i will introduce you. he also brags about being rich, and his parents insist he is bright, despite his continuous scores in the thirties and forties. what a smart guy. almost as smart as Manet. Anyway i could rant about him for way longer but i don't want to waste anymore time on him.
Today woke up feeling sore, played the most amazing online game ever at the gorillaz website utilising brett's dsl, then went inside and drew magic creatures- and inspired by the jet set radio future trailer (breathtaking) designed a working progress tag for my name (i am such an eats guy). sure enough aaron came over [twice] and at some point we set out to the bakery for breakfast, at which point i left them all behind to go home and the work, which i had been delaying because i couldn't face the walk to grey lynn, let alone in the rain, but being sunday i had to do it. so went home, wrote my mum a note in french [XD!] and left in a holey trenchcoat. an hour later, i managed to locate work, after many a wrong turn, and i start6ed cursing everything, but then i got over it. Hey, so what, my pants were drenched, i was eating loquots (locots?) off trees and i was using a rather large walkman due to my brother taking off with the MD this weekend. I did my work, the my dad came and picked me up, due to the rain, and the fact my clothes were wet and i was facing a long walk in boxer shorts and a wet t-shirt. not a problem if i were drunk, but hey, i wasn't. what an imcomprehensible maze. Anyway, i am off now to try and locate that book i need, and perhaps do some study for my french exam tomorrow. i just love the thought of having finished my exams overall in three weeks time...
>Don't let the walls cave in on you<

>Cada día yo te quiero más<
I am going to start writing this entry now (8 PM) but finish it later because although i didn't do much today, i am now stuck for time.
Sadly, saw Steve off yesterday at the airport, i got a shuriken! yay! i have an increasingly larger arsenal of japanese weapons. useful? i don't see why not! It is strange going to the airport, it always seems surreal on the morning one goes, early in the morning walking around town (so what it, it was actually 9am or so). I also went to Manukau city for the first time ever, and went to a strange bank.
I also went to see Dougal and JP in the evening and played Advance Wars on GBA, and it is very fun and addicting and i will have to buy it when steve sends me my GBA. Stayed here last night (mums), got up this morning and watched the recorded sopranos finale, amongst other stuff, made a futile attempt to study, sort of successfully, rapping out my French vocab. yeah! Went to Bretts later on today. didn't do much, played a little ddr, and also more advance wars. Now i am home. And i am about to go out with Robert and Tim, and maybe others. oh, also, someone can relay this to her i guess, but ¡Happy Birthday Kiri! Have a most fantastico year- may dreams and wishes come true! ah the end of an era...
Anyway, i'll write something tomorrow morning as well, so for now...
>Centrál<
It is the next morning, and the alcohol has completely worn off. I hate puberty. But i will rant about that another time i think, in invisible text too, so as not to offend anybody...
Last night, decked out in my typical shirt and pants and my mothers trenchcoat, i took to meeting tim and robert in front of the Library circa 9pm (now it is 10am or so if you are wondering). We went on a walk around town and spotted some REAL LOSERS, and then we as three proceeded to ------- ---- (i dont want to say the name), which i am proud to say, is one of the coolest things i have ever done in Auckland, thank you jeremy for suggesting it to Tim, you have saved our evening. So we walked down the stairs into the Japanese bar, after a short wait, sat down and ordered- house sake each, and we all ordered some form of yakitori; Tim the chicken heart, and robert and I ordered the same, uzurano tamago AKA quail eggs. We also got Chu-hi to wash it down, they got grape, and i got calpis-milk. chu hi is a premixed alcoholic drink. anyway, the bars atmosphere was great, and although a little expensive, it was well worth it for the experience, and being able to drink under age at a public bar. We walked around a bit more, before busing home. i also received many comments to do with my trenchcoat, and a lovely, if not drunk, young women told robert to be afraid of the fag king. i got home at midnight, to the same tune as had started my day, my beloved gypsy kings. went to bed, now it is morning and i have decided i hate bodies.
>Cada día yo te quiero menor<

>Dreamcasting<
Actually i haven't played my DC at all today, but I have written approximatly 40 sides of refill as per my exams. Ah well they did not go badly and now i have none until monday. My hand is severely damaged though- thank god i have resting time for it.
What will i do tomorrow? i hope to go to the airport...but oh so expensive. oh well. what to do? i should do some study too i guess. things will come together, they always do.
I just watched the BBC documentary 'the blue planet'. it was truly amazing, i still can't comprehend the size of a blue whale, and killer whales attacking grey whales? oh the horror! anyway i will record it next week when i am at kendo.
just saw a jiff ad with people dancing al over their clean floors because they were clean- strange, and then a tampon ad claiming their tampon can stop leaks in walls. is there not building materials for that? oh well everything in this world is strange. Oh and Tim, you will love the new Magnum cone commercial, alluding to a certain activity seen in both 'Jubei' and 'Snakeskin'.
I am going to stop writing as i have done little today. my foot is pretty much healed, though i still have many a bandage. i am going to hold matt completely responsible, even though that is being completely obnoxious to any other proper causes. Oh one last thing, i lacerated my chin yesterday with a razor blade. i have a large horizontal scar under my chin now. However in person, it shall not be a shaving scar, but a duelling scar, that i got for my fencing opponent in a castle of some sort some where. Glad we got that straight. say goodbye to your favorite host. see ya!
>Straight to Saturn<

>Dreamcasting<
Actually i haven't played my DC at all today, but I have written approximatly 40 sides of refill as per my exams. Ah well they did not go badly and now i have none until monday. My hand is severely damaged though- thank god i have resting time for it.
What will i do tomorrow? i hope to go to the airport...but oh so expensive. oh well. what to do? i should do some study too i guess. things will come together, they always do.
I just watched the BBC documentary 'the blue planet'. it was truly amazing, i still can't comprehend the size of a blue whale, and killer whales attacking grey whales? oh the horror! anyway i will record it next week when i am at kendo.
just saw a jiff ad with people dancing al over their clean floors because they were clean- strange, and then a tampon ad claiming their tampon can stop leaks in walls. is there not building materials for that? oh well everything in this world is strange. Oh and Tim, you will love the new Magnum cone commercial, alluding to a certain activity seen in both 'Jubei' and 'Snakeskin'.
I am going to stop writing as i have done little today. my foot is pretty much healed, though i still have many a bandage. i am going to hold matt completely responsible, even though that is being completely obnoxious to any other proper causes. Oh one last thing, i lacerated my chin yesterday with a razor blade. i have a large horizontal scar under my chin now. However in person, it shall not be a shaving scar, but a duelling scar, that i got for my fencing opponent in a castle of some sort some where. Glad we got that straight. say goodbye to your favorite host. see ya!
>Straight to Saturn<

>Sexy Boy<
My ritual over the last few days of the doctors office is working out for the best, my foot is almost healed, thanks to immunity destroying antibiotics (flucoxacillin sodium Ca) and rash cream (Hydrocortisone+miconazole). Also after a day of being lazy yesterday (and sunday come to think of it) i thought to myself this morning, considering my exams start tomorrow, that i should start studying. So i have been delegated to my english books this morning, and art history will ne embarked upon following this entry and a my next food for three hours at one o clock.
It was probably better i didnt go to Taupo today- i would have been screwed for tomorrow. AND THERE IS NO ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT. that makes me happy because i couldn't have gone anyway, i have two exams tomorrow, just thought i should capitalise it so people notice and don't turn up. remember the crazy arrangement? second and last tuesday of every month, not second and fourth. I still don't know how i am going to see steve before he goes back to Japan, Fergus, are we going with him to the airport on Thursday or not?
My company today consists of CDs (Tomb Raider soundtrack, and 'moon safari' by AIR). That is allright though, distraction equals less study, equals lower marks, equals no university, equals another year at grammar, equals AHHHHHH! At least I wasn't doing exams today like some unfortunates, although mine do finish unusually late- not until tuesday next week- but we still have the externals to go after then anyway. If you look at this year like a mountain, the years work as climbing up, and these exams like the long easy, sometimes rough (or vice versa for some) ride down to the bottom ie. a starting point for next year.
I keep adding new things to my list of things to do after the exams, oh dear, i'll never get it all done...
I cleaned my room yesterday- it is still cluttered as all hell, but at least i have floor space now. I couldn't bear to throw any of my stuff away. maybe when i have to eventually ill just collage everything in my room onto a large canvas and call it my life. That's what i want to do when i move out. but where would i put that artwork, my life tapestry? all questions for later on i guess. Even so everything is so tranquil today, light summer breeze, occasional warm air, the flooding of sunlight through my window. it is all so nice...so...so ethereal. Just like sophocles plays, maybe this joy is prerparing me for some huge disaster that will happen? i guess i'll just have to roll with the punches...
Maybe i will update tonight, otherwise the next time you read what i write will be after my first two exams, on which i guess i will report. wish me luck!
...now on to my next scheduled meal...
>All I Need<

>Sexy Boy<
My ritual over the last few days of the doctors office is working out for the best, my foot is almost healed, thanks to immunity destroying antibiotics (flucoxacillin sodium Ca) and rash cream (Hydrocortisone+miconazole). Also after a day of being lazy yesterday (and sunday come to think of it) i thought to myself this morning, considering my exams start tomorrow, that i should start studying. So i have been delegated to my english books this morning, and art history will ne embarked upon following this entry and a my next food for three hours at one o clock.
It was probably better i didnt go to Taupo today- i would have been screwed for tomorrow. AND THERE IS NO ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT. that makes me happy because i couldn't have gone anyway, i have two exams tomorrow, just thought i should capitalise it so people notice and don't turn up. remember the crazy arrangement? second and last tuesday of every month, not second and fourth. I still don't know how i am going to see steve before he goes back to Japan, Fergus, are we going with him to the airport on Thursday or not?
My company today consists of CDs (Tomb Raider soundtrack, and 'moon safari' by AIR). That is allright though, distraction equals less study, equals lower marks, equals no university, equals another year at grammar, equals AHHHHHH! At least I wasn't doing exams today like some unfortunates, although mine do finish unusually late- not until tuesday next week- but we still have the externals to go after then anyway. If you look at this year like a mountain, the years work as climbing up, and these exams like the long easy, sometimes rough (or vice versa for some) ride down to the bottom ie. a starting point for next year.
I keep adding new things to my list of things to do after the exams, oh dear, i'll never get it all done...
I cleaned my room yesterday- it is still cluttered as all hell, but at least i have floor space now. I couldn't bear to throw any of my stuff away. maybe when i have to eventually ill just collage everything in my room onto a large canvas and call it my life. That's what i want to do when i move out. but where would i put that artwork, my life tapestry? all questions for later on i guess. Even so everything is so tranquil today, light summer breeze, occasional warm air, the flooding of sunlight through my window. it is all so nice...so...so ethereal. Just like sophocles plays, maybe this joy is prerparing me for some huge disaster that will happen? i guess i'll just have to roll with the punches...
Maybe i will update tonight, otherwise the next time you read what i write will be after my first two exams, on which i guess i will report. wish me luck!
...now on to my next scheduled meal...
>All I Need<

>Sexy Boy<
My ritual over the last few days of the doctors office is working out for the best, my foot is almost healed, thanks to immunity destroying antibiotics (flucoxacillin sodium Ca) and rash cream (Hydrocortisone+miconazole). Also after a day of being lazy yesterday (and sunday come to think of it) i thought to myself this morning, considering my exams start tomorrow, that i should start studying. So i have been delegated to my english books this morning, and art history will ne embarked upon following this entry and a my next food for three hours at one o clock.
It was probably better i didnt go to Taupo today- i would have been screwed for tomorrow. AND THERE IS NO ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT. that makes me happy because i couldn't have gone anyway, i have two exams tomorrow, just thought i should capitalise it so people notice and don't turn up. remember the crazy arrangement? second and last tuesday of every month, not second and fourth. I still don't know how i am going to see steve before he goes back to Japan, Fergus, are we going with him to the airport on Thursday or not?
My company today consists of CDs (Tomb Raider soundtrack, and 'moon safari' by AIR). That is allright though, distraction equals less study, equals lower marks, equals no university, equals another year at grammar, equals AHHHHHH! At least I wasn't doing exams today like some unfortunates, although mine do finish unusually late- not until tuesday next week- but we still have the externals to go after then anyway. If you look at this year like a mountain, the years work as climbing up, and these exams like the long easy, sometimes rough (or vice versa for some) ride down to the bottom ie. a starting point for next year.
I keep adding new things to my list of things to do after the exams, oh dear, i'll never get it all done...
I cleaned my room yesterday- it is still cluttered as all hell, but at least i have floor space now. I couldn't bear to throw any of my stuff away. maybe when i have to eventually ill just collage everything in my room onto a large canvas and call it my life. That's what i want to do when i move out. but where would i put that artwork, my life tapestry? all questions for later on i guess. Even so everything is so tranquil today, light summer breeze, occasional warm air, the flooding of sunlight through my window. it is all so nice...so...so ethereal. Just like sophocles plays, maybe this joy is prerparing me for some huge disaster that will happen? i guess i'll just have to roll with the punches...
Maybe i will update tonight, otherwise the next time you read what i write will be after my first two exams, on which i guess i will report. wish me luck!
...now on to my next scheduled meal...
>All I Need<

>Sexy Boy<
My ritual over the last few days of the doctors office is working out for the best, my foot is almost healed, thanks to immunity destroying antibiotics (flucoxacillin sodium Ca) and rash cream (Hydrocortisone+miconazole). Also after a day of being lazy yesterday (and sunday come to think of it) i thought to myself this morning, considering my exams start tomorrow, that i should start studying. So i have been delegated to my english books this morning, and art history will ne embarked upon following this entry and a my next food for three hours at one o clock.
It was probably better i didnt go to Taupo today- i would have been screwed for tomorrow. AND THERE IS NO ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT. that makes me happy because i couldn't have gone anyway, i have two exams tomorrow, just thought i should capitalise it so people notice and don't turn up. remember the crazy arrangement? second and last tuesday of every month, not second and fourth. I still don't know how i am going to see steve before he goes back to Japan, Fergus, are we going with him to the airport on Thursday or not?
My company today consists of CDs (Tomb Raider soundtrack, and 'moon safari' by AIR). That is allright though, distraction equals less study, equals lower marks, equals no university, equals another year at grammar, equals AHHHHHH! At least I wasn't doing exams today like some unfortunates, although mine do finish unusually late- not until tuesday next week- but we still have the externals to go after then anyway. If you look at this year like a mountain, the years work as climbing up, and these exams like the long easy, sometimes rough (or vice versa for some) ride down to the bottom ie. a starting point for next year.
I keep adding new things to my list of things to do after the exams, oh dear, i'll never get it all done...
I cleaned my room yesterday- it is still cluttered as all hell, but at least i have floor space now. I couldn't bear to throw any of my stuff away. maybe when i have to eventually ill just collage everything in my room onto a large canvas and call it my life. That's what i want to do when i move out. but where would i put that artwork, my life tapestry? all questions for later on i guess. Even so everything is so tranquil today, light summer breeze, occasional warm air, the flooding of sunlight through my window. it is all so nice...so...so ethereal. Just like sophocles plays, maybe this joy is prerparing me for some huge disaster that will happen? i guess i'll just have to roll with the punches...
Maybe i will update tonight, otherwise the next time you read what i write will be after my first two exams, on which i guess i will report. wish me luck!
...now on to my next scheduled meal...
>All I Need<

>Sexy Boy<
My ritual over the last few days of the doctors office is working out for the best, my foot is almost healed, thanks to immunity destroying antibiotics (flucoxacillin sodium Ca) and rash cream (Hydrocortisone+miconazole). Also after a day of being lazy yesterday (and sunday come to think of it) i thought to myself this morning, considering my exams start tomorrow, that i should start studying. So i have been delegated to my english books this morning, and art history will ne embarked upon following this entry and a my next food for three hours at one o clock.
It was probably better i didnt go to Taupo today- i would have been screwed for tomorrow. AND THERE IS NO ANIME NIGHT TONIGHT. that makes me happy because i couldn't have gone anyway, i have two exams tomorrow, just thought i should capitalise it so people notice and don't turn up. remember the crazy arrangement? second and last tuesday of every month, not second and fourth. I still don't know how i am going to see steve before he goes back to Japan, Fergus, are we going with him to the airport on Thursday or not?
My company today consists of CDs (Tomb Raider soundtrack, and 'moon safari' by AIR). That is allright though, distraction equals less study, equals lower marks, equals no university, equals another year at grammar, equals AHHHHHH! At least I wasn't doing exams today like some unfortunates, although mine do finish unusually late- not until tuesday next week- but we still have the externals to go after then anyway. If you look at this year like a mountain, the years work as climbing up, and these exams like the long easy, sometimes rough (or vice versa for some) ride down to the bottom ie. a starting point for next year.
I keep adding new things to my list of things to do after the exams, oh dear, i'll never get it all done...
I cleaned my room yesterday- it is still cluttered as all hell, but at least i have floor space now. I couldn't bear to throw any of my stuff away. maybe when i have to eventually ill just collage everything in my room onto a large canvas and call it my life. That's what i want to do when i move out. but where would i put that artwork, my life tapestry? all questions for later on i guess. Even so everything is so tranquil today, light summer breeze, occasional warm air, the flooding of sunlight through my window. it is all so nice...so...so ethereal. Just like sophocles plays, maybe this joy is prerparing me for some huge disaster that will happen? i guess i'll just have to roll with the punches...
Maybe i will update tonight, otherwise the next time you read what i write will be after my first two exams, on which i guess i will report. wish me luck!
...now on to my next scheduled meal...
>All I Need<

>Who's got the looks, who's got the brains?<
Ah the downward spiral that my life takes. soon i'll get an elevator back to the top again though. Can we feel happy? Yes we can!
Last night was tremendous fun, karaoke for three whole hours, followed by Dance Dance Revolution 4th Mix, pool and Dance Freaks! And then a nice long walk home from town...
That was all great fun, and i decided to go to Taupo on tuesday for the day, even though i have two exams on wednesday. Oh well, they wouldn't be too hard anyway. So i had a good night. But unwittingly i sealed my fate. All that walking and DDR-ing didn't pay off for my foot too well, and when i woke up this morning it was still throbbing. I did not have a great day today. I ruined my Mum's day and Chad lectured me, and now i can't go to my Dad's house tonight, because no one trusts him to take me to a doctor. So after going to the chemists i went to the doctors this morning. To my mother's insistence (why does she have to be so darn selfless? it just makes me feel guilty...) of course. The doctor drained my blister and gave me medication for my rash and antibodies for my blister (maybe i could O.D. on them [in joke]). So after my mum spent money on my healing, i found i have to return to the doctor's everyday to have it redressed. cool, now i can't go to Taupo. yay? god dammit. Anyway so i come home, i feel guiltier because my mum looks after me, even though because of me she missed out on a yoga thing she had been waiting for for six weeks. So i sat back on the couch applied cream to my foot, and watched documentries on many a different subject on TV, and also a movie called 'Drugstore Cowboy'. Now it may sound like i have it good but there are oh so many downpoints to not being allowed to walk, or your mum not trusting your dad to take you to the doctors the next day. I may be being looked after, but the guilt is unbearable- i also can't get my cheque to pay steve; i can't get my brother to pay me back; i rely on my feet to get me everywhere and now i can't walk; i can't eat for nine hours of every day (not allowed to eat for two hours before antibiotics, and one hour after, and i have to take three a day); my foot still hurts like hell; can't go to Taupo; can't walk to school; it is labour weekend and i can't go out, the list goes on...
At least i only have to go to school on wednesday this week. I had dinner at six and now i have to wait two hours until i can have an antibiotic. great. i am going to get so skinny if i have to do this for ages. Oh an upper note- Tony is working out his bach at Oneroa on Waiheke right now, so I should be able to go there in the christmas holidays for a while, i hear it is big, but the only indication i have is that it has at least nine beds and a garage with rooms above that too. i hope it is large anyway.
Can't think of anything else to write except 'bye'.
>A wink that I found cute<

**Milestone**
I can't believe it! What you prophesised came true Tim! My fast is continuing. BUT. The time period is not being broken (it still stands at seven weeks and a day or two), but it feels as if i should start again, i want to quote a line from a placebo song but it would give away any ambiguity, so i will give you the name, 'you don't care about us'. Anyway i can't decide whether it is a good or bad thing. Anyway i ahve gone on enough about that, so i will describe what i remember of my dream since it is still early in the morning.
For some reason, so many of my dreams start off in the grammar hall. Benches were arranged differently, and i remember everyone changing seats constantly, people were literally flicking in and out of the seat next to me- Tim, Kris, Laura Scarlett, Michael, Isla. Cut to next part of dream, walking through a park with tim, seeing faceless eggs girls darting through the trees surrounding. We ran into Laura and Scarlett and other people i didn't recognise, and they were looking for the rest of their group and joined us on our quest, Me and Tim got a large buggy to ride on, we were gonna get motorbikes, but i can't ride a bike. Kris and Scarlett (who assured us she was a profficient motorbiker) zoomed off to the next meeting place. For some reason me and tim went to a camera store where a turkish man grabbed my crotch and i yelled at him, it turned out he only wanted his wig back off tim. I woke up at that point, so i dont know what happened next. At some point in the dream we were in my house (which looked nothing like my house) playing videogames and there was a large pool in my house, it was more like a tropical resort. My dreams are never explained...
That's enough for now. bye!

>In my mind<
I haven't been updating much this week- due to a forced rejection of technology for the most part. This old computer keeps crashing, will not run icq properly, will not open programs etc. It kind of makes me not want to use it. Hence I have purchased an old PC (against my principles, yes, but I have to do it for the greater good [eg. Beta-cam, Dreamcast, Grand Royal, Sega, Hologram technology, now Apple too, it is a sad world we live in]). I will set it up, hopefully learn some workings, and become less inept with computer technology (coincidently listening to 'Virtual Insanity' right now). Anyway this all comes down to a newer version of icq, and more updating of journal. I also get to customise and build up a large mp3 collection, so i do need to upgrade it- which i cannot do by myself at thie stage, but hope to learn =).
Today my foot is fucking more painful than ever, Also last day of school before my internal exams begin. Matt also did the Wendy's run. He also did a mean thing after school which resulted in me being late home with a bleeding foot. cool. Anyway, that aside, a good day, topped off by a visit to the pictures with Tim, Robert and Wade (I should really start calling him Andrew), and also dinner at 'Pizza, Pizza'. We viewed the New Zealand made 'Snakeskin', after Tim and Robert dragged us to it. I applaud them for taking this action, because it was probably a better film than the rest of the trite I haven't seen which is on at the movies (and I can get into). It was really good for a long, long time, then lost itself at the end of the movie. Well the movie was good if you don't mind theme music, sterotypical characters and an over ecstatic Oliver Driver. If the movie taught me anything, it is to do acid (similar to a talk I had last night with Mum and Chad [her partner]). And to top that, do acid and take the pleasure of a bit of the ole' in-out-in-out at the same time. I was reading 'A Clockwork Orange' out loud at history today. Home now. looking foward to a weekend of working, studying, and hopefully enjoyment with friends, but that aspect seems a little cloudy right now (nothing bad, just no plans as of yet). I also regret not being able to go ice skating tonight, but Botany downs? hard to get there for me...
I am going to write for a while on what i was going on about in the first paragraph of this entry because i am bored. Why is it that the best technology is always what doesn't succeed? It is always something that has mystified me. Beta-cam was better than VHS that we use, but now it is redundant in all but film studios. Sega had the most original games through all of their years as a console maintainer, and then a soulless corporation like Sony comes along and pushes it out of the market because it can afford to advertise. How can a game like South Park Rally outsell Jet Set Radio? And why has society become so attached to Playstation? I have one, and aside from about 10 or so games out of over one thousand, it hasn't got any outstanding exclusive games, of which barely any are completely original. Oh well. That's life, and as a 'gamer', it saddens me that society will never know what it was missingout on due to capitalism. Gah. And Grand Royal went out of business. That is the label the Beastie Boys own, to which they had signed up the likes of Sean Lennon and Luscious Jackson, and more underground superstars. I love the way huge corporations rule the world and all creative industry. notice the sarcasm? There is also a Fantastic Four movie in existence. Did you know that? Roger Kirwan (I think that was the right spelling) made it, and used it to sell the rights to a studio to make more money out of it. Now a completely different Fantastic Four movie will be released in two or three years, and the public will never get to see that sale movie, strange huh? Now i am listening to 'Hyperballad', heh. I can't bothered going into hologram technology or apple. If you want to crazy stories and personal opinions feel free to ask me, I can't be bothered writing that here too. In conclusion, the earth should only have cool technology.
Today I realised I only have to wear my uniform 16 more times at the most. I only have three more days in my life of proper High School, the rest being exams and singing practice, which i enjoy, unless i am being told i am a faggot, so i will probably not ccome, when the school rings, i'll tell them i have aids. Wednesday, I catch my exam wave that carries me untill November seventh, who wants to do something around then? i am open to suggestions from, say, horse riding to beach campout to illicit drugs, or any combination. Or something completely different, i am open to anything really, so try me! Monday and Tuesday will be fun, doing all that study for Art History and English. Can't come to anime unfortunately. How am i going to see you before you go Steve? I am sure i will think of something. I always do. Why is labour weekend on the brink of my exams? boo...
Oh I wanna compile a list of drinking games, so send any you have to my e-mail, cause i think we could have some fun after my exams are over! I will try and update a little more frequently from now on too, so remember to check back often, and prolly when the first of November rolls around i will add a few more links to journals, and also at some point update the look, cause it is growing old. I was going to leave now, because my typing is becoming lazy, but i wanna outline what i have already planned for my two and a half week break following exams-
- Make Vash Coat
- Learn to use Avid DV express
- Learn some web design
- Update own webpage, with new format
- Play videogames, read books
- Update computer
- Learn University campus
- Get learners' license
- Learn to ride a bike
- Practice drawing
I don't know how much of this i will actually get done, probably less than half, but i want to give it a go, especially the Vash coat, because designer extrodinaire Margella, has indirectly given me an idea on how to do it cheap and well...I may require a little help, so if i need it i will send the spotlight, although i may be able to pull it off, after all i was the form two sewer of the year in my time.
Anyway, i am gonna scoot, keep reading my prettys, and i will try and update shortly!
>Life is good, and I feel great!<

>Empty spaces<
I am sorry I haven’t made an entry for a few days, it is a combination of not being bothered and not having time. And also having nothing to say.
I still don’t, except that teachers are crazy. So I will just write about the craziness of school today before I signed out. I didn’t wear shoes so my rash would subside. The teacher read my note, accepted it then went and hid behind my dean, who he had promptly recruited, and I was told I had to wear school sandals. Yuck. Anyway, I went to see Mr. Metzger (translates to Mr. Butcher). He gave me a pair, I wore them, they rubbed my red toes, and I told him that it defeated the purpose so…I was told to wear socks and one shoe. Because that makes more sense than wearing nothing on my feet apparently. It was so ridiculous, that I refused to let myself be degraded as such past lunchtime and I signed out. Strange English period when we noticed a tape entitled ‘ALL ASIAN ANAL’ on top of our teacher’s filing cabinet, when questioned he told us he had watched it and it was very good…awkward situation, I think so.
At the health nurse’s office, I had another awkward moment where our phone was engaged (at my house), and I had to have a ‘great’ conversation with her for 15 minutes until I just started to speaking to the engaged tone as if my mother was home so I could leave. Phew! *wipes sweat from brow!*
Got to French late, went to sit down, was asked why I only had one shoe. I replied ‘long story’. Sat down, and then, out of character, Mr. White yelled ‘TO HELL WITH THE LOT O’ YA’, and we did our own revision, and I found myself reading the English that the French translated into on the vocabulary sheets without actually reading the French. Woops. Got a ride home with Matt at lunch, and here I am. I should start studying for next weeks’ exams tonight, or at least begin that 1500 word plus essay on the themes in Sophocles. Is it just me, or are Simon and Garfunkel on the radio, television etc. alot more recently? I see/hear references to them everywhere I turn. Strange...
>Sounds of silence<

>Demonic Harmonic<
I had a good weekend, both friday night, saturday night, but also sunday morning. I was blindly walking and my prose for this entry was brillaiant, althoughi don't remember any of it now...I was walking blindly because i felt like it, i just shut my eyes and walked from where Matt's house is to my Mum's house, occasionally flicking them open in order to watch out for cars, i walked into fences a few times too.
I just received thanks on keeping the house clean...phew!
I should really start studying...next weekend i guess. I have to check french stuff for my speaking test tomorrow as well.
I have discovered that boredom makes me crazier, resluting in me wearing crazy clothes and taking provocative photos (I already regret that, scratch that [live a life with no regrets], i don't regret it, only can't accept that i did that). It will so come back to haunt me, and i don't know where i can develop it, because they are sure to recognise me at the shop, and i will never be seen in the same light again!
I still feel adonistic, but less pleased with myself, i seem to find comfort in small things, flirting with life without ever going anywhere, i feel like i will never be free, and i want to be. life will just be one obstacle after another. If life were simple it would be great. I wish the technology we have now still existed, only people didn't have to maintain it. I am increasingly finding things such as TV and clothes annoying. I used to think it would be good if everyone didn't have a visual identity, but now i have decided it is the most important thing to have a physical form. You might not like yourself, you might think you are ugly, or fat, or gorgeous. In the end however, these individual differences in our eyes, the creases in our hands, the texture on our fingertips, this is what makes us human, and if you follow, if you don't take control of your own life you end up betraying your body, that is half of you. I don't know about anyone else, but i often have my body fighting my brain (Waiheke food fast anyone?), i hear it in my head, 'do that', 'you don't have to'. That sort of thing. It is hard to explain. the best thing one can do, and i did this on saturday, is realise that you are your own person, that you are not obligated to be how someone wants you to be, just be yourself. In that way everyone should love themselves no matter how they look, and no one need strive to attain perfection, because if you have high confidence people won't patronise you, or if they do, you know you are above it. And hopefully, one day, someone will notice this, and BANG, you have a soulmate, the other half of your angel. This may seem like rambling, and it sort of is, but i feel like no one would feel sad if they thought like this. We have control over our minds- painful memories? remember some good that came out of it and treasure those moments, and you will always get by.
Exams are not everything, sure, in the materialistic world we live in they matter, but they shouldn't matter to us, as long as we feel like we got something out of learning, knowledge isn't power, knowledge is comfort, knowledge is happiness, knowledge is communication, knowledge is love, and the world is full of knowledge. If you feel happy by doing well in exams, then do well, and study hard, if you feel great regerdless of whether you pass or fail then it is up to you. Pressure is the sdaness that fills our world, what kills so many souls. Comfort is what saves people, and friends are important- but occasionally lonliness is needed to get a well rounded understanding on how your own body works, to quote Björk "As much as i definitely enjoy solitude, i wouldnt mind perhaps spending little time with you". If you understand how your body works (not physically, but mentally), then you can strike a perfect balance between your brain and your braun. This is how such things as Karma Sutra, Yoga, Meditation, Tantra, Asdanga work. So many people attribute happiness to techniques like these because they feel like they have control over their body, rather than their body has control over them. A rapist can't control his sex drive, a practitioner of Karma Sutra or Tantra can control their body to a degree of amazement. Obesity occurs when someone cannot stop eating, a meditator can control their hunger. People who practice yoga or tai chi control their breathing and can relax their mind and muscle, and make their body work as one to it's full potential.
I hope this all makes sense, I don't even know why I wrote all of this. Try walking with your eyes closed down the road for about five minutes and them look, and stare, and everything can be seen individually, suddenly you notice an apple in what was once just a tree, the planes of space and time exert themselves, and to see so clearly for 30 seconds is worth minutes of blindness. I guess i have written long enough now, so i'll end this here. And love evrything about yourself, your past, and your present, and even your future because it makes you the unique person you are.
>Possibly maybe, probably no<

>Narcissus<
I feel oh so good...I just had one of the best showers of my life, much soap, hard bristled brushes and a waterfall of water helped to make it so wonderful. I t had the same effect as yoga, or better...I can't even explain it...I am in love with myself!
I have started to notice little things, like the colour of my eyes, the depth and colour of my hair, the hairs in my arm, the contours on my body- i feel like a new person...it is so strange! I was sure my eyes were never so blue...
Listening to the Gypsy Kings (Los Reyes), contributing to my mediterranean feel in my large white glass house, alone, basking in the sun, I might go and sunbathe on the persian tugs in a minute...

Anime night was a sucess last night...one mistake I made though was on the invite I forgot to put the date, regardless most everyone turned up, and those that didn't, you were sorely missed...as were fire breathing implements, oh well...
Conan was way cool, and his para para dance is just oh so cool, although by the looks of the people last night, he soon may have competition for that dancing position!
Wow, i have way too much food now, and I don't know if a gathering at my place will go ahead, so I have no idea how to eat all this food and dispose of much rubbish before my Dad gets back tomorrow night.

At work this morning I found books about mythology and nonsensical rhymes so I photocopied some stuff out of them that I like...
The Owl and the Pussy-cat, by Edward Lear
Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll
and some information about mythological beasts, including 'Swedenborg's Angels and Devils' and 'Jewish Demons'

Anyway I am going to leave this literary mishap and get back to trying to decide between three or so options for this evening-
1) Go through with an event at my house
2) Go with Sam Clarke to some slapper's house and get drunk (I don't really want to though out of fear I will lose something important there)
3) try and go to my cousins house in Swanson
I could always just stay at home and study, but where would the fun be in that?
Hasta Luego!
>Kyo...<

Done and Done! Have posted an e-mail, anime organised, gathering i assume has been haphazardly organised, but organised none the less!
Everything is falling into place! yos yos!
That said, I want to add something to my last entry...I took one of the most important steps of my life today, i sent in my university application.
It felt so good to type in the space that said 'last year of secondary education'. Anyway I will have to do further enrolments later on this week, and i have a good photo for my ID. I will be free of Grammar oh so soon. Oh and the entrance online thingy is worth doing just to see the hilarity on the title selection, one of the twenty or so options is 'prince', another is 'justice'. They are not strange compared to some of them.
Sayonara!

>Sweet, sweet soul brother<
That carpet burn is healing up nicely now- the scab is getting smaller everyday! Strikes today...five of my classes would have had no teacher so i just came home. I did the grocery shopping for mum, but in the spirit of the day, we didn't find each other after i had done the shopping and i had to carry all of our grocerys home by hand, needless to say, my arms are in immense pain, as are my shoulder blades. It was the first time i have ever done the shopping by myself, it was a weird feeling, sort of proppelled into a situation i wouldn't expect to be in for quite a while. Why i said it was typical of the day to miss each other, is because steve and i keep missing each other by minutes, everywhere! And i really need to discuss anime at my place! ahhh! He should be back from Rotorua this evening so i will try and speak to him then.
Well, saturday will be the drunken event for sure, and the friday anime is still in the air, so i will try and figure that one out tonight.

*Magical Girl, by Guitar Vader*

Ah, why is it that it rains all week at school, and i stay home and it is sunny, like all last weeks holidays? some kind of conspiracy in the sky is my bet...i hope it is dry in the weekend, 'cause then i can get out the outdoor furniture! we will live like Persian Kings! de toute facon il faut que j'écrit ca... planes hit buildings. america strikes. united kingdom strikes. osama bin ladin. afghanistan. taliban. terrorism. george w. bush.
There that should get me a few more hits, i seem to get a large surge of hits from searchs pertaining to those things, but i wont mention them again. i get some weird referrals such as people searching for 'magnum ice cream advertising girl'. Such is the way of life!
>1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...Super Brother!<

Os!
I can't believe it! Amazing! Steve has returned...even if it is only for a little while, itis so good to see him! So this was your secret Fergus? It is so cool!
Anime was so cool last night! And Jubei was cool, i expected much more bland thing, but it was very, very funny! And gatherings were great too! I didnt get home till midnight but it was well worth it! I am so happy, i dont know why and i just want to shout out because i don't know how to express such happiness, another sense of completion, hai!
SO C'MON...I have my Dad's house this weekend, and now i have two duties to fill in! I am fulfilling prophecy! I will hold an anime event AND a gathering! BA BOM! In any case I just have to decide which to hold on which tonight, but don't worry, I will have made the decision for sure by tomorrow! What else? oh i did my odyssey test today so, i only have three more actual assessment things before the exams now, and cosplay has been moved back so now i can go! Everything is great for me! Everything is going my way! Pity it isn't for other people...the world is meanly balanced as such, eh? Meh i hope maximum people come to my gatherings and bury their hatchets, everyone should just be happy, and today i know it is possible. I just do! If you are not happy for yourself be happy for someone else, then everyone can still be happy!
Remember if you forget about all the world's problems you can feel gorgeous and great! 'Cause i won't have a teacher for five of my classes I might leave early. I want to see my friends! Lets go to movies! Lets go to walking! Lets have fun! Ikimasho!
This weekend I will make Jubei-Yaki! Yes! Who cares study? I am so damn overjoyed! Let us make for energetic Kendo tonight! Ja matta Na!
Great!
Well that was the last line of that entry but it won't let me post so I am just going to write more! And why not! I am listening to that late 90's classic 'spaceman' by Babylon Zoo. I love this song! But it isnt really fitting right now...
Did I mention while i was writing that entry the computer crashed and i lost stuff i hadnt saved? oh well! I don't care, I just write again! Haha!
Right now as far as events stand this is the SKETCHY schedule, so dont go off it, i will put up a more conclusive schedule tomorrow night. This entry was written around 5pm, but it probably wont get posted till ages after that anyway.
As it stands now...it is a little different to what i had previously told people but it works better overall-
Friday night...Anime Night...viweing start when Josh can get to my Dads house (about 7-30 to 8-00pm). People can sleep over if they want, if you are going to i recommend to bring a sleepping bag...Ill post a letter on to auckland mailing list about it tomorrow anyway which will be the conclusive one. That way we are all together beforehand for the shopping trip on Saturday!
Saturday night...crazy gathering...i am not really organising this...it is just at my house...at the moment i reckpn people can start arriving from about 6pm, and can stay the night again if need be, as above sleeping bags should be brought if you are gonna do this, but it is your choice, it might be easier though considering i live all the way out in the wops...alright it is only westmere, but, well, pah! (to clarify, Friday night applies to AAC, Saturday applies to people at Grammar schools), and yes there is one rule for saturday which i havent written here, but it is out of respect for my property and the poeple who live there that i am putting it in place...there is a primary school over the road if you (two) must. I am sure people will realise what i mean soon enough. It is mean, but really, i dont need the image when i am sleeping in my bed! Hep wop wow!
I am going to go and see the flat JP might move into now, so i will go and give a more conclusive answer about the weekend tomorrow, I do apologise for the short notice! Anyway i hope everyone can come and make me feel even more brilliant!
*Makes sounds like Itsuki, and scrunshes hands in similar motion, with Brock style tears coming from eyes* KwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwEEHH!

>Two time angel boy<
I did do entry yesterday right? I don't even remember...I went to bed last night at about Two AM after finishing work only a half hour before. At least i hope to get a reasonable paycheck soon. We had a large family dinner with many people coming over- to quote my father we had a 'impromptu dinner party'. We used the Ultimate Wok my Dad and step-mum got as a wedding gift, we had yet to fing a use for it in the previous two years. I think i'll stick with normal woks. they are more fun anyway.
There appears to be a scarcity in life these days...
School, I aim to stay at school for the next two weeks and not miss anything. If everything goes to plan these will be my last weeks in a high school institution, and just as i started to acheive acceptance and popularity too. Ha! Hectic though, in the next two weeks I have three Classics assessments, and two for French, then my ten exam marathon begins, although i am thinking that will be a easy relaxed period with the amount of breaks I get during and after my exams. The song I am listening to is crazy- "I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am", from Triple J hottest 100 volume 4. Enough of that, track changes.
JP has nearly found a new flat! I hope he moves in with Josh, it is just up the roads **ADVERT** If anyone is looking to move out of home and can pay about $95 a week contact me, oh, it is good if you like anime and videogames, and like cleaning up after yourself- and no one else. Josh and JP want a female flatmate to balance out their masculinity, but will accept male applicants also, and the flat is in George Street, top end of Dominion Road.
I think I am going to start watching Card Captor Sakura after school- it brings me back to my old Pokémon days. Kendo tonight...also an Art History essay. I better apply to Uni today as well, I must remember to do so. I also managed to read all three of those plays of antiquity yesterday, favorite characters were Haemon, Antigone and Polynices, and the ever adorable Theseus. I was suprised to see he and Teiresias pop up in that trilogy. It was cool in any case. Anyway I best be off.
>These mushrooms are NOT mushrooms<

>Everytime I rise I see you falling<
After a boring day of doing nothing yesterday- except work- i retired to Robert's for a few hours and watched Stanley Kubricks 'A Clockwork Orange', a film i haven't seen since I was thirteen years old. It did retain its greatness. And Matt, i refuse to believe that Stanley Kubrick and that fuckwit Steven Spielberg were good friends- it just isn't true! Anyway after catching a ride half the way home with a reluctant and sheepish Matt (understandibly though, after ten with three in the car) I came home and did nada except talk. I then went out at about midnight to go and play pool with Sam in a distinctly Asian pool lounge- for the entire hour and a half we were there we were the only non-asians! Anyway after our games we went driving for a while and then at 3:30 i went to sleep at his place, although with daylight savings i guess that is 4:30. Got up about ten, a few awkward moments with his parents and then walked the forty minute walk home. I have done so much walking these holidays. Unfortunatly I haven't had a chance to go swimming...
I also want to apoligise for the last entry, i usually apply discretion and euphemise such a situation. forgiven?
I have to work today for a while to correct some mistakes that were made at the studio- fun- and i also have to read Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus and Andromeda. I could read it while i work i guess. I still would like to go out for one final hurrah tonight so if anyone has any ideas give me a yell.
Oh and i need these things back due to the fact i am trying to make sure i have all my possesions back...
Andrew Wade- Silent Hill.
Sanjay Dutt- Point Blank, Time Crisis.
Jean-Pierre Pasche- Metal Gear Solid, wip3out.
Tim Gray- The Virgin Suicides.
I think that's everything, but there is probably other stuff missing. Oh well. 'A Life Less Ordinary' has a great soundtrack...i would like to see that movie again, i really enjoyed it.
>From forth the fatal loins of these two foes<

>Gospel of sin<
I would like to mention my days past...although I guess I mention it everyday anyway. Yesterday was spent in town, finding university information, and eating at a secret noodle house. it was good. Then Michaels, after much doing nothing, and the eventual non-event of Nightmare that evening, I wasted alot of time there before being deserted by Matt, Tim and Michael- of course I heard about this from Alexander. Every dark cloud has its silver lining though, and I was seen by JP, Charlotte and Tony. I went with them to Wendy's (the eatery), and made a brief stop back home before Charlotte drove home, and then after some deliberation Tony packed JP, Brett, Malcolm and I into his car and we went to find a dry area. I had just showed up so I didn't know what we were embarking on- Tony is not a friend I regularly see, he is 19 and is first year uni and has alot of money I think- anyway JP had taken it upon himself to get Tony stoned for the first time because he had broken up with his girlfriend of 11 months on Tuesday.
Anyway so we were speedballin' down the motorway in Tony's vehicle, which is very, very cool, and has a awesome sound system, and Tony is a very good driver, it felt like we were racing every car we passed. Anyway we decided where to go- Brian's place (Brian is the computer administrator at my school). Once a man who played by the rules, this 27 year old virgin has nothing to prove, having just coming back from the tropical area of Asia, and he spends all of his money on dope- his flat (which he shares with the dropped out 6th former Jarod Shaw) is a mess, and filled with buckets, dirty dishes, bongs, cracks in the walls- and the toilet is the most disgusting I have ever seen in my life. Anyway, because Tony had never been stoned before, and despite all my trying my body's apparent unwillingness to go down that alley, they took it upon themselves to make us wasted.
So pipes and bongs were our new friends that evening, although I really didn't feel like I was high- everyone else were off their rockers- I just couldn't see well, and everything seemed to be in slow motion. Me and JP unsuccessfully tried to hotbox a box. It really would have been one of the most pathetic things you have ever seen, six people just sitting in a room laughing at each others laughing, and nearly falling over. oh well. We went and bought food, ate it, and pretty much feel asleep all over the furniture and slept uncomfortably until ten the next morning when Tony drove us all home and now I am sitting here bored stiff, with nothing to do. Oh yeah I have to walk to Westmere to work. Fun. And I get to do more work tomorrow.
>When you get love sun will be shining down<

>Operatic Conclusions<
Today was weird. got up, after making myself a delicious banana drink for breakfast I was told by my mother that I would no longer be allowed to use her computer because 'I invade her personal writing space'. right. anyway, so no more of that, and I have been destined to the old 5200 macintosh. She took me out and bought me a desk kit workstation to put my stuff on. I came back and put the screw kitset together, proving my masculinity by cutting my finger and getting something wrong, and having to unscrew and rescrew. Anyway I have a pretty, new workstation in my room now. And it only took me about two hours to make. I also have a dirty pair model to make of Yuri.
So on this computer, I now, in order to make it run a little quicker with its modem (not even 56k), I have to acquire 'icab' or 'opera', and icq will only work when it wants to...it worked this evening, but refuses to now, and whenever I try to quit it I have to restart the computer. I will never live like this! So I apologise to any of those put off by my going offline in the middle of conversation- I don't mean too. I was going to write my phone number up here because of my inaccessibility to the net, but I am paranoid to post it on the net, so ill do it by code- (the amount of letters in the name of our city)496703. So everyone- call me, because I wont be on icq as much.
On a sadder note, I was sunburnt all over my back when I wore my mesh shirt on Wednesday. I have to go to town tomorrow and get uni application forms I guess, I really have to get my ass into gear regarding university. I would like to go to the movies this weekend too, but I am thinking no one else is in the mood. boo! Oh I would also like to apologise to anyone I might have offended this month, in any way...
>Don't let the walls cave in on you<

>Brimming with defiance<
Pleasant say…spent the first half of the day with Michael talking, like old times, and it was enjoyable. Then I left. I went home and mucked around. Kendo- left early, barbecue…alright. Things don’t take long to write when one is angry and doesn’t want to spend long describing a day.
I wanted to do this quite publicly, being angry and all, but it’s not my place to do unto others as they did to me and destroy my emotions, although I did before- I know so don’t point that out to me- it has been pointed out to me that in this particular instance it really is inappropriate. You might say, I will hint at it at least- that I feel like a rat in a maze that can’t be solved, or the pawn in a large chess game. Immense paranoia? Probably. I would like to think so, but all signs point to the phrase ‘used’, For once I want to have my cake and eat it too!
On to greater days, or I hope, and time will tell whether or not I have many friends in that future because I honestly don’t know whether I stand on terra firma, I thought I did, but once again I have cause for concern. Why does my life revolve around others and not me? I don’t know. I don’t want it to. I just feel dependant on so many others, but not by choice. It’s all just a little bit of history repeating. But like Bill and Ted, I am to change what path my life takes in several life or death confrontations which I may or may not be able to go through with…In any case I feel like I am going to be patronised no matter what I write in this journal, so the only advice I can offer is don’t read it if you think it will offend you. And especially don’t read this- I don’t want you reading this if you think I am seeking sympathy, because I don’t want any sympathy for anything I write in here, any sympathy is to be gained from things that actually come out of my mouth. Oh and I do appreciate the feedback, when I get it.
>This revolution is our revolution, and it is not fake<

>Depth of perception<
A clammy sensation all over my body…last nights sweat coupled with today’s, I feel yuck…oh well. Walking home from Roberts only took an hour, walking to Isla’s, including time to get lost (twice) took me an hour and a half. Anyway, synthetic shirts do wonders for sweating, id est, one does a lot more.
Woke up this morning on Roberts sofa bed feeling much the same as I do now. His kindly elder sister gave me some banana smoothie. Thank god…that energy would be much appreciated on my long arduous journey home, oh and Robert, if you haven’t seen it yet, I put a note on your table. Last night was not as good as Monday…and I am not going to attempt to explain why…it just wasn’t. I need stuff to do tonight, tomorrow night, Friday night, and Sunday night. Don’t worry Edwyn, I am scheduling time in to go to your place on Saturday…I don’t want to miss out again, especially because I can’t come to the cosplay anymore. I should really go to kendo tonight and I should also go to the university before Friday, maybe I should cosmically galaxy bounce the rest of the time.
I have nothing left to say.
>Terra firma<

>You can change the station, but that won’t change your situation<
I got home at nearly four yesterday morning after a walk I am will estimate took more than an hour, but I could be wrong, oh and I was sober again. I haven’t done the drunken thing for ages. I am sure that helped my situation. When I was walking along my street, I could hear all the birds up and chirping, it was neat, and inspired me to do something I don’t usually do, walk into the darkness of my garden, but in the morning light all the Sakura were splendid and it was serenity. I went inside, drank some milk and crashed.
Got up early for the dentist this morning, watched and listened to music while my bohemian family wandered around. Then I watched and episode for the pizza cats. I then went to the dentist, scheduled for ten a.m.
Oh I had another dream last night, involving walking along Porunui (In my spell check, Porunui was corrected with porno) Street. It was misty, and I looked behind me, and a wall of text that I think was my journal was there, id est. the text was floating in the mist, and people were walking out of it. Weird. Come to think of it, the whole of last night feels like a dream, maybe better if it were? Oh god, what was I thinking? Pah, life goes on!
I had the best dentist ever, he used the expensive stuff on my teeth, unlike that woman last year that didn’t even give me the option and used the cheap silver stuff. This guy just told me he was going to use tooth coloured stuff. He also smoothed the tooth I chipped in history, and half my face numb after that injection (which I was just informed was novocaine, a synthetic replacement for cocaine with a similar effect), so you might say I have awesome teeth now, I had a great, if somewhat muffled, conversation with the doctors and dentists. I love going there, I always come away a better person physically (and mentally, I guess). So walking is fun at the moment, listening to old Beastie Boys tracks as I walk along the road and Placebo in French. It’s strange, at different times of the year I prefer different music, but every year I listen to the same kinds of music in the same seasons. I know I will have a Basement Jaxx revival in January, I can feel it!
Did I mention I played a Gamecube last week? I don’t think I did. I ate mooncake yesterday to celebrate, and I dint even know the exact reason why, but I felt like I should, and I read Clara’s journal, and questioned my Chinese dentist and now I have a better idea why, I love festivals! I don’t want to end this on a depressing note, because I am not depressed, but I don’t know where else to fit this into the entry. I got an e-mail from one of best friends at intermediate yesterday, he had raped someone about a term ago (he told me this two weeks after it happened), which I find hard to believe because he is a push over. Essentially he was pouring his heart out telling me how he didn’t deserve to be my friend, and I was the one who was always there for him, and he ruined our friendship. I don’t agree with rape, not at all, but it’s not right for anyone to disbelieve in their self worth, which I have seen recently more and more. If I were a girl I think I would probably have a different opinion, but when the person was a good friend, who you have known for six years, it is hard to let go, even if it is falling like sand through your fingers as our relationship has been all year. I don’t even know now why we drifted apart in the first place…life can be cruel.
>I think I’m losing my mind this time, this time I’m losing my mind, that’s right<

>Drunk as fuck<
i am drunk right now...at Isla's. Drunk, so ,much tequila, rum, vodka. refuse to drink beer. licked scarletts leg, consoled scarlett and told her to go with michael cause i think he loves her. conso.ed isla, because everyone loves hewr and she tyhinks noone does. consolewd robert. iu am fucki8ng drunk. everyone depressed. uh oh. cant conectrate. i you everyone drunk. people blowwing my cover. drunk as fuvk. done the most noble stuff ever to0noight. wjy? i dont know. but it makes me sad, but also a better person. so similar to be stoned last n9ight. and people from gram,mer here. shit, i cant see right, fuvk. and andrtew wadse keeps tak9ing my belt off and trying to ull my pants fdown. and tim and i keep doing the riding moses thing. oh no. kiri and janet are talking near by and heres that kris again. hi kris. fuck you michael. go and be with scarlett. she needs you. fuck i am drunk. and tyhis is ythje most revealing night evert. oh i also told kiri i had a crush on her at primary school.
>no shit, i dont need a girlfriend<

>Blue electric and flowers of green<
Wow. I wish in English we could demonstrate tones of voice and volume through the alphabet without seeming overly energetic, just the cool shouts of ‘set’ through the sitar and middle eastern instruments on a cool summer evening, it would be cool to live in India for a while.
I am very, very hungry. I have had some L&P and an apple today, thankfully my mother is making some exotic salads for dinner before setting out again for another fun adventure, if only mine were more in the same vein as those of Bill and Teds’. So, last night, at about 11:30 I went out. I ended up mucking around in Mt Eden for a while, before nosily making my way with Leon, Charlotte, JP, Brett, Cushla and Kate. Those last two should have really gone to bed. Idiots. Anyway echoing our voices down an unoccupied Dominion road at what I would say was about 1am was fun, and kicking the ball around too. Went to my old primary school, and threw balls around, chatted, and used Brett’s latest purchase. My tolerance is too fucking high and pisses me off; will I have to be weaned on? I hope the fuck not. Anyway, telling stories and running around, having sore legs has its toll, and JP and I retired to JP’s flat, where we slept, only to be rudely awakened by his, shall we say, illicitly substance informed brother André in the morning, angry because his clothes were wet because JP had taken back his extension cord. I eventually got up at 12:50 and after some deliberation went to Bretts to get my stuff and went home. Fuck I am hungry. And my throat is incredibly dry, I want to describe my humorous and pleasing dreams,
Last night, I had two dreams, of which I remember a few details which I want to recite…
(1) I was on Onslow Ave near my house and I saw this beautiful Asian woman walking with these two Asian guys, one of which was her boyfriend I assume. She walked slightly ahead and I decided to do something I never do; go out on a limb. I went over to her and told her she had nice breasts. That I can only assume was received graciously because the next thing I knew, I was pleasantly talking to the two guys, and was subsequently invited to join them for a gathering at their house some time!
(2) I was in the wake of Saturday and full of envy jealousy of Robert and his conviction, I did something amazing. That taken well, and how I had not expected, I walked off content as if I had done it for real, and full of love for the two others involved, both of whom were understanding and accepting. It is hard to explain I guess, but I felt content in the morning, from a false event in my life.

Having said those dreams I guess I leave this entry at that, going out again tonight, and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I am going to MAKE him replace my fillings that fell out, because I hate eating some stuff at the moment. Oh and happy October.
>My mother told me don’t ever change, you’re original in your own way<