I am tired of it all. Of this adolescence. Of being the underdog. I have just spent the whole day doing nothing. And now I am doing nothing. Great. I like it like that. Not only am I alone, but also depressed. Watching many a video clip made me nostalgic, and made me realise that I have been tricking myself into blocking out emotions. I feel like I lost something that I had, without ever having it. The phrase I used in my last entry "you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" is so relevant too. I have been told that I still have the power to find what I have lost. But I have to ask myself if what I want to find wants to be found. Or found by me anyway. If you have been following my diary through its life, and know me in person, you are probably reading between the lines and going "oh".
I want to apologise too, because I believe I may have destroyed things that were precious to people. I also made them angry. I made myself untrustworthy, and probably a sneak in many people’s eyes. I did all this ignorantly, and only began to realise when I began to lose friends. Friends that I cared about. The other people who call themselves ‘friends’, and acquaintances that used to be friends can fuck off. I don’t want to be part of some judgemental ring, I want to be free, I want all the weight off of my shoulders, but to do that I need ten times the amount of courage I have now.
You might think "good time to be melodramatic Finn" (sarcastically of course), but I think the timing of this could not have been any better. When less and less people are reading my journal, and I can’t be accused and outcast for (quote) "trying to impress certain people". Thanking god for having that particular person out of my life now.
When I was ten, I remember pondering in November (this is ’95 we’re talking, at the first and only time I ever went to Parakai pools) in regards to the primary school gender gap. I came to the conclusion that this was because girls didn’t know the fun and friendly side of boys at play, and only knew the scorning, sexist side at school through which so many crushes and petty dislike-but-really-like instances were formed. I thought that maybe if the girls had a screen or someway of watching us play without us knowing they were there it would destroy gender clashes and everyone would get along just fine. For the first time ever today I realised a hole in my philosophy. Girls probably thought exactly the same thing at the time. Now I have experienced close friendships with the opposite sex, I guess I realise that that kind of perfect relationship could exist in a primary school because, well let’s face it, everyone is out to find something that will complete them after puberty hits. By all animal instincts that means finding a partner, and that gets in the way of normal friendships, at least through adolescence. I know I am guilty of that, as is everyone else reading this. I wish I were ten again, living in blissful ignorance. Little things make life worth living, it’s a shame I have killed almost all my little things.
Counting my losses, the lost which makes me sad, and the lost which makes me smile blackly, I realise that soon, quite possibly exclusion and falsities will be my only friends.
I guess this is goodbye…
I heard the phrase "No one is innocent" recently. I can agree with that. These days everyone is morally wrong, anyone remember "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"?
Is not funny how we as humans seem to strive for independence, yet at the same time we search for security in relationships, so we can depend on one another? And why is it that true love seems to be found in death? It is probably the whole "you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" syndrome, but I can’t understand why we can’t have faith in our ‘partners’. It just seems to me that in every romantic piece of literature I have ever seen, read or listened to involves death (this is of course excluding cheap sentimental bullshit that Hollywood churns out at a mile a minute). Would the stories of Hades and Persephone, Antigone, Romeo and Juliet, Orpheus and Eurydice, Dadeus and Icarus, Moulin Rouge (the musical film), or even paintings like ‘Death of Marat’ and ‘Third of May 1808’ have such a romantic element without the presence of death? I have come to the conclusion that to find true love one must die or have their partner die. I am sure I can be proved otherwise, but this is my current train of thought. Maybe the key to a successful relationship is an open sexual one- along the lines of swinging- because it allows the connection between a couple (the true couple, not the couples made through swinging) to be a purely emotional one that doesn’t rely on the corrupting physical element that could be the source of adultery and jealousy.
I was also pondering human satisfaction, and I have decided that people can never be fully satisfied. If you had everything you wouldn’t be satisfied, because there would be the depressing void of having nothing left to strive for. The only way to find satisfaction is by training your brain to believe it has everything it wants and needs to sustain a healthy and enjoyable life, for the most part turning it against material possessions. I can also believe people find some sort of completeness through religion and spirituality, if you have faith in God, it is something you can rely upon, and takes away any fear of death, and it gives someone else responsibility (depending on the degree of your faith), the same thing with destiny as well. With eastern practices, such as Asdanga Yoga, Yoga, or Buddhism one becomes one with nature and fins completeness through harmony- this is my favorite principle, and it is suprising how much one can achieve if one believes in these lines of thought. With Pagan religions, which I think are similar to Shinto (I could be wrong though) is again destiny and gods which one must trust in again. In general I prefer religions without almighty divine figures because I don’t like the idea that one has to give gifts or deny themselves anything in order to please one figure. With some divine figures like Buddha I don’t find it so bad because the gift giving is kind of romantic, incense and golden shrines and scriptures, as well as Buddha’s ideals are less restricting. Without Buddha we wouldn’t have the cross-legged sitting position- he introduced that to the world.
I guess I’ll go now, and I will finish with a quote that I couldn’t work into the body of this entry because it wasn’t at all relevant, but I had to put it in here because I have had it for a while and I keep forgetting to use it, anyway are you ready?
"I have nightmares because my life is so groovy"- Iggy Pop (He is a god).
And one further one from my good friend space ghost "Do you want..my…sex- with me?"
Okay there is a plentitude for you to think about and ponder, so this is where I make my exit.
**disclaimer**
I am sorry if I came out offensive in that last part- I wasn’t trying to offend any religions, merely point out some pros and cons FOR ME involving religion. These are the accumulations of thoughts I have had over the past few days too, and especially in that last part about religion, I don’t expect anyone to make sense of it and I probably look like a hypocrite, maybe it is easier to explain in person? I don’t really know, I guess if you wanted to you can ask me though. I though I would add this disclaimer because as you know already I dislike editing entries or deleting ones, even if they are offensive/ this contrasts to someone we all know who may need to edit things to be pragmatic and keep everyone happy. Boo! I hate pragmatists! Well when it seems like double crossing anyway…
I like the word deluge. I like the way it just rolls off the tongue. Deluge.
We have explosives...well no, actually we have great junk. Due to a garage sale this morning we have a lot of old vinyl, including the soundtrack to 'Mary Poppins'. God I hate that film. We also got a new super eight projector, because it was cheap. We nearly bought another great record but my step-mum talked the guy out of selling it to us because he said it reminded him of being 19 again. I didn't actually go, i heard all of this second hand from Cris and Oskar (Step-mum and half brother, although not my step-mum's son).
I realised this morning that I finally have an ambition. Usually people ask me what I want to be when i grow up and i don't have an answer ready. Now I do. I want to be bigger than God.
My dad hath told me some magnificent stories already this weekend. He went to The Cure's first concert before they released any albums. Best of all however is that while researchiong a documentary in Britain he got his hands on a recording, which we still have in our house, of a never released, never even properly recorded, David Bowie song. If that isn't amazing I don't know what is. He also has some bootlegs in our music cabinet. He better be able to find that Bowie track. I want to hear it all. Oh, Matt, I asked my parents about 'Ashes to Ashes', and yes, they did play it heaps around me as a child, so that is why I recognise it.
We keep it 'till dawn.
There are two bottles. One is bitter and one is sweet. But what are they?
One is life and the other death. But which is which?
I haven't been able to write an entry for a week. It's not that i haven't had the time, more over just that I haven't had the opportunity. I was going to write an extremely long and great entry, but due to family pressure (I was suckered into playing Junior Monopoly) i am now to tired. So there you are, my family ruined this entry, or at least the 'sounding brilliant' aspect of it.
I can't remember what day my last entry was...maybe monday? Anyway, Tuesday was spent doing nothing, in the evening i went to my old intermediate and got stoned with a guy i used to know, and extremely dislike, back in intermediate. JP also came. I still don't understand how people can come to rely upon it, it really doesn't do much for me. On wednesday, Jp and I (he was living at my house this week) went to his new place, and i also had an awkward encounter at Tont's house. Tony and his girlfriend, Ken and his girlfriend. JP knows them all. I only know him and Tony. If you imagine how loud i usually am, you would be suprised at how quiet i was. Anyway, later that day we met up with Brett, as he was leaving to Japan the next day and we went to ANI. Once there we started going into all the classroom blocks, and we went into the hall and had a look behind the staging area. It was funny- I was re-living memories I didn't have. I can onloy imagine what it was like to go there, yet it seems so familiar. By not going there it is like a chunk was taken from my life- but on the other hand, none of my current friends, bar one or two, can relate to my experiences at Kowhai, so it is something they will never know except through me, whilst i get to hear so many different people talking about the ANI days that it almost feels like i went there. although i never was.
That evening, after failing to organise a visit to the Japan performance at the Town Hall on wednesday night I went to Kendo and gave it my all. When i got home i sat down to watch the blue planet (recorded) with my brother and mother. I then got a call from Brett, JP and Dougal, and soon enough i was on an epic walk. We spent about three hours away from home. We took a bus into town, and from there we wenteverywhere. The Waterfront was grand though. We all just lay down on this rocking pier (in the literal sense) and watched the stars and talked. It was really nice. That night i was also scared in McDonalds by the 'PLASTIC WRAP LADY'...dun dun dun! She was wearing a trench coat and had various sections of plastic covering her body, inside and outside the trenchcoat. Although i couldn't see her face, apparently she had chin hairs and smelt really badly. She also had with her three plastic bags filled with clean cups and other bits of plastic. I don't really want to describe her furthur because it is kind of depressing. On the way home, stemming from an argument (involving the way dougal and his new girlfriend were rushing things, his slutty ex girlfriend, and JP's mother's weight, as well as who has the right to judge who else) at McD's, Dougal walked off. Brett JP and I travelled through Mt Eden's back streets and went to JP's old flat using the key he was supposed to have given back. After that we essentially walked home and too beckoning beds.
On thursday i woke up to a knock on the door, when i got out of bed (i have already told lots of people this so feel free to skip this part) no one was there. i went to have a shower and got undressed when the door was knocked again. So half dressed, only in shorts with a belt that wasn't done up, i signed for a small package from Japan addressed to me. At that moment i picked up my package and ran into my room shouting and screaming and woke up JP, and I then experienced an early christmas as i opened my limited edition GBA (gamebot advance for those not in the know) from the Osaka Pokémon centre (and i want to get this corrected, the correct pronounciation is not POH-KEE-MON, but POH-KAY-MON). THANKS STEVE, YOU ARE MUCHO FANTASTICO!
Anyway, i quickly had a shower and then JP and I went to enjoy town for the day. At the movie theatre we were dismayed to find that the website had lied and "the one" was not being released till january, even though it said november 22nd on their website (i checked when i got home, they have completely removed the one from their site, and jay and silent bob has been shifted from november to march. so i know i wasn't hallucinating). Regardless we travelled the arcades and shops putting out street fighter skills to the test. Later that day after a hearty and cheap lunch at an obscure japanese café, we returned to mt eden. i spent the rest of that day watching the best movie ever - STREET FIGHTER. By best, i mean worst, or at least stupidest and most botched game movie conversion ever. for example, Ken and Ryu, i believe are wandering martial artists, not con-men selling stolen arms, and since when did american soldiers have belgium accents? poor raul julia, to have that as his last movie before his tragic death too...
After that atrocisity we viewed 'desert blue' directed by Morgan Freeman. It was really good. I really enjoyed it. I want to see it again. It was romantic without being needlessly sappy, and some aspects fringed on 'cult'. It also helped that i had never heard of it before, even though it had casey affleck, christina ricci and kate hudson.
So that movie finished, Tony rang, and he and JP got into a big fight. Seeing not only a friendship breaking down, but also my chances for going to Waiheke being hindered i rang Matt- thank you so, so much Matt. Matt always pulls through, he is the man. Anyway, with Matt's- and the mattmobile's- help, we moved some of JP's stuff from Tony's to his new place (This is at like 10pm), in an attempt to ease tensions and save a friendship. Anyway that mission being successfully completed and my complete and utter gratitude to the Matt mobile and Matt (there has never been a dude like this one! He has a plan to stick it to the man!) the day came to a close, with my mum returning from the bar she left to at 8pm, saying she would be back in a couple of hours. i guess that means four in her head.
My dad just looked up the word 'lucubrate'. do YOU know what it means?
This morning, well nearly yesterday morning, i woke up and matt and i went aroung mt eden searching for cheap and rare records, going into many a intimidating second hand store and antique store, all the while alluding our good friend sanjay. eventually we got back to matt's and watched the video for space oddity on his computer. fuck it is cool. Anyway, after chilling with scoob, matt and D to the D for a while, Danny Dumnov gave me a lift to Dougal's place where some illustrious table-flying kick-super landing took place, as well as some walking the cat and playing with cats. Finally getting home i got lectured by dad on the phone for not contacting him (although i had unsuccessfully tried) and was also told to buy i cell phone. yeah right.
1) i refuse to buy into that fad for at least a little while longer, and
2) it would so get stolen in west auckland.
Anyway, after trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation with my six year old bro, to no avail, he went into a sulk, and i was finally given a chance to write an entry detailing all the interesting non-events of the week, especially the swimming i didn't do...it was great.
I hope you have all enjoyed reading this slow, gramatically incorrect narrative laden with spelling errors. I tried to make it sound interesting. oh well. chances are you weren't doing anything anyway and you needed something to read whilst you were talking to people on icq. I wish bursary would hurry up and end so people would do stuff. and i want golden sun to hurry up and be released.
A few final points-
1) I have to work all this weekend, but i am open to suggestions for early next week.
2) Never play me at Junior Monopoly because tonight i learned that i suxor at it.
3) I will get 251 pokémon.
4) Sadly, my favorite pants ripped in the knee this week. I feel so down.
Keep rocking baby.
---MILLIONAIRE FIGHTING 2001---
I just got my air cut. It is shorter than it has ever been before. It will cost $100 to bleach it white, but it is so short it is kind of pointless now. Ho hum, oh well. I guess I'l grow it out a bit more and then do it. I might just do a standard bleach for now. The hairdressers were great, one was like a bishounen, and the other guy was a barrel chested gay man, and they had the reatest little petty fights. I guess it is hard to explain...you have to see them...It was the most fun professional haircut i have ever been to/had, and it became even more interesting when it started to rain sugar cubes, and the barrel chested guy went and bought a whole load of beads and subsequently accused the bishounen of trying to steal his style ideas.
If I was an Autobot, I'd be:
Fantastic!
Unfortunatly my hair cut made me miss a social outing as well as a kendo lesson- let's hope i won't miss many more and that there will be plenty more outings to come...i want to go swimming tomorrow or wednesday. On thursday I plan to go to the movies and lunch, but I can't be bothred going into to detail on that one.
I am so glad to be getting some people out of my life, it is a shame to be losing others though...
Oh well...BYE...llew ho
Some crazy referrals to this journal-
-People searching for osama bin ladin banana man song.
-gay books young children pink and rex.
-wanaka porn japanese.
-wendy's wage new zealand restaurant.
-bow and arrow japanese martial arts.
-"ronald mcdonald" hamburglar.
-funny song on america bom taliban.
how has technology change lonliness yesterday, today and tomorro.
-restaurant quotations.
Bizarre no?
Finished my exams yesterday, didn't do much but bought two bottles of liquor and drank some. now i am bored. oh well. yesterday me and my mum were speaking french and people were staring at5 us. i am feeling bored and uninteresting. bye.
For the record, i am writing this on wednesday night, not thursday morning, although that will be when i post it.
Life is alright. It isn't bad, but there is definitely room for improvement. I will probably make quite a few errors in this entry, i am in bed in the dark and cannot see the screen nor the keyboard properly.
Island in the sun - Weezer
Today i had my classics exam. I stroke it so lucky. The minimum study i did (circa 1 hour) was enough, just enough. The exam only asked the questions i was ready for. phew! let's hope my final exam, history, is like that on friday morn, after which school is for all inrensive purposes, out.
I have decided against the cosplay, however i might do the Vash cosplay thing to armageddon next year, kinda geeky, yeah, but hey, live a life full of things you wanna do! - note to self, keep the clichés to a minimum.
I have a new ritual/obsession. Every morning i now wake up early to catch Tarzan on 3 at 8am, followed by the most excellent Bob the builder. My mum says it;s sad. oh well.
I don't know how many people read this anymore, but in regard to the forum of kings and the holidays board, i am really impartial so don't worr6y about hurting my feelings or anything, i'd rather just know straight up. providing waiheke doesn't fall through (looking increasingly likely due to people unable to find flats and bee infestations) i won't be too disapointed. I just don't want people thinking that i will be destroyed if i can't go- if kris says there is room for eight, who else is missing out? i am just curious. Oh and Tim, i know i have already told you, but thanks again for sticking up for me, i do appreciate it.
On the note of friendships, isn't it funny how they naturally die? I have been through so many friends in my life already, and i am reaching a point where i just want to consolidate what i do have and hold dear, although i can't bring myself to make the necessary action, as is the sad story of my life, i guess you could cal it my harmatia, tragic flaw.
We had an anime night last night. i am ticked off because i walked forty minutes intending to waste study time to see the end of Jubei-chan, only to be dismayed at its absence and then watching outlaw star, which was very good, but i did want to finish off jubei. anyway it was an alright anime night, and rosanna, i assume you read this, most excellent gift to tim! those gloves [midget gloves] seemed to have a life of their own - and there is 200 pairs of them!!!
Anyway, i think that's enough from me for now. last thing- i am probably going to make my attempt at white hair this weekend, so hopefully i won't end up with a bleachy yellow. i am just going to leave the bleach in, burning my scalp until there is no colour left. if anyone is against this divine transformation, e-mail me, and if there is enough objection i'll reconsider. once white, i'll dye the tips blue though, so keep that in mind. if i botch it reallt badly, i'll probably use henna to dye it black. anyway, night. or morning/ afternoon as the case may be.---11:52pm---
I was just going to post this, but then i thought i would rant about something this morning, a bright sunny morning- but it seems i have nothing to say... except that i am saddened that foodtown does not have any boconcini, and by accident, i stole a basket from there, not trealising it until halfway walking home. i guess i could blame them for my absent mindedness, because they didn't have my desired mozzarella-like cheese.
I apologise for the incorrect grammar and bad prose in the last entry, as well as its multiplication by three.
my fortune for the day (11th)-
YOUR LUCK FOR THE DAY
A lucky number since scriptural kings
Success to all your plans it brings.
YOUR FORTUNE
The fates are prophesysing thus.
Two mates in life for you,
The first of which will be the best
You'll regret it when there's two.
------------------------------------
A hasty quarrel through a trifle
YOUR WISH WILL BE GRANTED SOON.
>Hey- How are you?
I literally haven’t had the oppurtunity to update these last few days, they have been pretty hectic, I went to see the opera Falstaff ( I felt a connection with Falstaff himself, in the way people played around with his emotions, it seemed strangely farmiliar. I also have done some babysitting, and seen a fantastic play called Copenhagen, a philosophical look at a ‘what if’ situation about Nazi’s developing nuclear weapons. I also went to Tanuki’s cave, the restaurant Toto’ twice, and the Montecristo room, place for Auckland’s social elite. Last Night i went to a family fireworks thing and convinced my uncle, with my brother, not to buy Harry Potter or Playstation products. I have also done an edit training session at my father’s workplace to ready me into the cutting world of film and television.
I had a great dream last night, if you wanna know you should ask me, most people i know were in it, but to name a few- Jerry Blair, Tim, Robert, Josh (anime), Laura, Michael, Isla, Michael, Rosanna, Scarlett, several hollywood actors including the black man in ‘swordfish’ and ashton cutcher, JP, my mum, and other extras such as policemen, malay villagers, cool looking asian shoppers, many party goers and sets including the highway from kylie minogues latest video, a village from a book i read last year, and an altered mt eden. Anyway ask me if you wanna know how you fit in.
I have been trying to ween myself back onto vodka after Tristan’s party, and my dad has me on a rehabilitation program, we seem to be drinking it whenever we get home late at night, still at the montecristo room, i had enough to ask my dad to buy me acid and he refused and fed me stories from days of dealing. oh well.
The best way to procrastinate is to watch movies a few hours before your exam starts, id est, just before i sat my Art History exam i watched ‘the astronauts wife’, with charlize theron and johnny depp, with memorable lines such as “the warmth of your cunt kept me alive out there” and “FUCKIN’ EH”. Terrible film. FTV is also a big help in not studying, as is finding an ant nest in your computer speaker and employing everything from Bass filled music to hairdryers trying to kill the infestation.
NP- Girls like that (don’t go for guys like us) - Custard
Nom D asked me to sign up to a model agency for use next year! Anorexia ahoy! I am already devising plans, but don’t worry, i don’t think i could do the bulimic thing. And don’t tell me i am too thin, because i want that disgusting boney look, though i doubt i’ll ever have it. I think a diet of cucumber, fruit and acidophilus yoghurt will help, as well as exercises. Maybe learn how to breakdance (properly). I wish my hair wasn’t so thick as well, i want to grow it long next year, but it will be so hot.
I finish my exams on friday, i have two three hour exams, one on wednesday and one on friday, then a week to be filled with sewing and editing and relaxing followed, hopefully, by the week in waiheke.
Anyway as nice as it was to revisit, i don’t know how soon i can update, so stay satiated! I also know where Bahamut originated from.
Toast.
Finally I have a chance to write an entry for my starving beast. For the last week I have been kind of preoccupied with things such as exams (which went well), and making sure JP has had a place to stay, and while he has been at my house. I haven’t written an entry because, although I post them for people to read, I don’t want people reading it while I am in the room, or over my shoulder, which is fair enough in my opinion. I have an exam tomorrow, and I guess this journal is a way of procrastinating as well.
I want to keep writing this journal, I don’t want to stop. I don’t want it to be a fad, even though my time constraints are making it impossible to write often. Anyway I haven’t written for a while so I’ll fill everyone in on events.
Went to see Zoolander last Thursday, and ate out at obscure, cheap, and nice Japanese café with JP, and Glen Fan, I guy that used to go to Grammar that we ran into in town. Also went present shopping with Matt and Tim. If you want to read about that go to Tim’s journal at eraser.pitas.com I’ll put a link up to it soon. Lullen de in ruimte is a great book.
Tristan’s birthday on Friday night was fun, even if Matt made me scull three glasses of vodka within one and a half minutes, causing me to vomit (not as badly as Jonny though) what I can only assume was several hours later, after passing out two or three times. A few people were very dumb and did stupid things. Why do people punish themselves? Again depth isn’t needed, it is in Tim’s journal. The next morning I woke up with a crook neck, in my shirt which had on it: blood, sweat, tears, mud, grass, alcohol, food and vomit. It was also ripped. Pure class.
Spent the rest of the weekend winding down at my Dad’s place, and on Sunday night stayed with my Mum, it was her birthday yesterday, as was the non-event that was Guy Fawkes - why did no one do anything for it? Anyway had a great day yesterday. Just one of those days that makes everything in the world seem inconsequential. It was so nice. John Elgar ruining Tim, Robert, Matt and my lunchplans, JP and I cooked up ravioli with a tomato and capsicum sauce, parmesan, and went out into the sunlit, flora filled garden and ate lunch outside in the warm summer air. Went to Brett’s and played a bit with a soccer ball, and that evening (last night) went up Mt Eden to see many a fireworks with JP and Dougal. There really weren’t as many as I had expected, but the mountain was packed with cars, ad at one point the grass in the crater caught on fire, and was spreading until a guy wet up and started jumping all over it and put it out. Stayed at Dougal’s and came home this morning to study at some point today for English exam tomorrow.
Ahh…sweet mysteries of life. People hurting themselves, setting themselves up for the fall. Isn’t it funny how we humans will pursue something relentlessly when we know it is going to end up hurting us? Not only through an insatiable thirst for knowledge, but also for a guilty moments pleasure. You see it all around you in daily life. I know I partake, and have been hurt in that way many a time in the past, but it is a fact of life. It is also weird how I seem to need a goal. If I want to save money, I can’t unless there is something I am saving for, even if I don’t really like it. Things like that. I am sure everyone can relate to that, finding your own metaphors and what not in there.
Fashion television is the most depressing channel in the world but I love it. It is everything I want- great music, great clothes, beautiful people. As shallow as that may be, I really idolise people who can live that glamorous life because I want it. I want not only the clothes the girls wear, but what is inside those clothes as well (I can’t help it, it is a genetic thing I guess). Anyway I have discovered that I can sit there watching that channel for hours, admiring the fashion the women, the men, the men’s clothes. When men come on you see the clothes that you might want to wear, I also tend to compare my own body’s structure, and what it would look like. I think the men are too buff. I think skinnier men with delicate structure would be more attractive, parallel with my vision of women models. I don’t idolise big busts. I prefer the less busty models with attractive faces. The three sexiest parts of the body, I have decided from watching that channel, are
1) The curved bones around the bottom of your stomach on either side.
2) The base of the spine.
3) The nipple.
The point of writing all this? I don’t know myself, but I felt like writing about FTV. I got a good horoscope from them too today. Vanity is the best thing in the world.
Waiheke will be so fun when I go for a week after my exams finish on the 16th. I am probably going to go in the second week people do bursary. Taking many a things, a minimum of video games, and a maximum of substances and good music. It will be how people are supposed to live. We will go swimming and play sports, as well as sunbathing and so on, and all in a big four bedroom house.[went away for a few hours and then wrote it from here on, so maybe it will be a little disjointed] Now I just have need of saving up money to buy assorted items. If you are interested in coming and don’t mind pitching in for a hundy, contact me, as long as I know you, we will probably jam over in that second week of bursary, so we want lots of people who just want to relax and chill in Oneroa with us (right now it is just me and JP and Tony, we have six more beds to fill). And I will try and post entries from there we have the internet there.
Well that should be a substantial entry for now, I have an opera to go to tomorrow night (Falstaff) and also exams every day this week, and two next week, so don’t expect me to be posting a lot at the moment. Also Big ups to Jeremy on his 19th birthday yesterday! I also finished high school last Friday, aside from external exams and prize giving. Anyway see y’all, I got to get back to FTV.
Goddamn I am getting slack.
Life is getting slack.
Life is getting depressing.
Life is getting me down.