I think there's something rather unfitting about the title and graphic of this page... Mainly that I'm not usually very depressing, but also that I haven't been reading Spider-Man as much as I ought to have, recently... I guess it's that I haven't been reading any comics at all. What's going on? The last one I bought was The Boondocks. Volume... 1? Hm, maybe. It's good, you should buy it too. And it's also been brought to my attention that Shonen Jump hasn't arrived. What gives?! We sent in the subscription card months and months ago! It was supposed to start in November 2002. Siiiigh.
I have undertaken a new personal project, for the first time in a long time. This is going to be difficult... and this is a surprise, I think, so I won't go into much detail. I was going to do research for it in Game Informer, but I couldn't find the most recent issues (dumb messy room...) so I searched Google instead. It worked pretty well and I've got a few leads now. The downloading's taking forever, though, even though it's going as fast as my puny 56k seems capable of (around 5.3k/sec!)... oh, and my brother seems to accept one KoRn song. Got The Life. It's good, you should download it.
currently listening to: Eminem - Superman
i spiral into oblivion on Saturday, November 30, 2002, at 03:11 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I knew it was bad when I started to compare it to Death of a Salesman.
Okay. I previously wrote this thing where I was virtually screaming and shrieking about my problems, but when I got to the end of it, I suddenly asked myself, "What the hell are you thinking?" See, this isn't a simple paper and pencil book with sparkly gel pens where my thoughts get closed away. This is the internet, a place I actually tell my friends to go to. And I can't write whatever I wish here, as much as I tend to forget this. That would be a terrible nuisance to anyone reading this, don't you think? Oh, forget it... that was simply too angsty to post. My conscience would never allow it.
Regardless of all this confusion and such, I'm thankful to those who keep my mindset from drifting to that of the narrator of "I Remember Larry". And by that, I refer to only a handful of people. (Go look up the lyrics if you must...)
currently listening to: Weird Al - I Remember Larry
i spiral into oblivion on Friday, November 29, 2002, at 09:34 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
First, updates: 5 fortunes and 2 buttons at my other site.
Thanks to Nintendo Power's DVD in the mail today, I've had my first taste of what my brother refers to as "video game ska". And god help me, I like it. I guess it's okay.
I spent 11 am to 3 pm at Shadowland with Wilma, Nick, and... umm... some of Nick's friends. (I actually didn't organize this one, can ya tell?) Hmm... much craziness ensued, as usual; Nick's little person (aka his little brother) is... umm... very "mature" for his age, as Wilma put it. Er, yes... and well... I'm very hungry as we didn't have enough money or time to eat a substantial lunch before returning home.
*goes off to eat*
Okay. Where was I? Today at Shadowland (laser tag), I ranked 5, 12, and 2... in that order. (I swear, for that second game, my gun was not working!!) Wilma and Nick each got 1st and 3rd once, and... well, no one else there did particularly well. (The kid did, but I don't feel very obligated to report on him.) We had to do a lot more waiting than usual today, as there was a party or two (what kind of crazy people go laser tagging on the morn' after Thanksgiving??). We went to McDonalds (across the parking lot) to eat, except that Nick, David, and I went to Magruder's instead. Who needs those greasy fries and burgers with soggy veggies? Let's eat chocolate chips and gummi worms instead! Granted, it wasn't much healthier, but I feel good for not having eaten fast food. That, and I very much long for gummi worms... all the time... I watched Episode 4 of Excel Saga last night. This has nothing to do with anything, except that I realized my brother really doesn't seem to know what the GBA option "Put it in" was supposed to mean. Hrm, I guess I shouldn't watch anything above PG or so around him, eh?
It's about time to archive this baby again. 25 entries fly by even when I write far too much.
currently listening to: video game ska
i spiral into oblivion on Friday, November 29, 2002, at 05:17 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Happy Turkey Day.
As you all must know by now, my family doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. We did when I was very young, but we simply stopped at some point. I don't miss it at all... but I do wish that I had something to do on this day. Everyone else is either at home eating, or working some horribly lonely shift at a store. Let me revise that... everyone that I know is at home, with their families. No, scratch that again. Some people are online, doing nothing. What are they thinking? Probably the same thing as me. I don't like Thanksgiving or Christmas right now. Except for the pumpkin pie... yeah, I guess Turkey Day has its advantages. And it gives me an excuse to make lists, something my oh-so-obsessive compulsive self loves to do.
I'm thankful for:
...teachers who know what they're doing, and care about the kids they're molding
...the (maybe?) minority of people who oppose the Homeland Security Act
...scary movies that let me get in touch with my sadistic side
...computers, televisions, telephones, and anything else that I loved before The Ring but have been scared of for the past 5 days
...mindless, monotonous work such as coding simple things in java or converting between different bases, that allows me to relax and turn my mind off
...and of course, the many, many wonderful people that make life fun. What, did you think I wouldn't admit something serious? And to all those who read this... you rock / stone / pebble. Yippie! / Yessie! (circle one)
Have any of you ever strained / pulled a muscle in your sleep? I did last night. Second time ever. Ouuuuch.
currently listening to: Blink 182 - I Won't Be Home For Christmas
i spiral into oblivion on Thursday, November 28, 2002, at 03:23 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I thought I'd give the ol' Personality Disorder Test another try.
Wednesday, 11.27.2002
Disorder Rating Paranoid:
High Schizoid:
High Schizotypal:
Moderate Antisocial: High Borderline: Low Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic
: High Avoidant:
Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive
: High
-- Click Here To Take The
Test --
Monday, 09.16.2002
Disorder Rating Paranoid:
Low Schizoid:
Moderate Schizotypal:
High Antisocial: High Borderline: Low Histrionic: Low Narcissistic
: Moderate Avoidant:
Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive
: High
-- Click Here To Take The
Test --
currently listening to: Weird Al - I Remember Larry
i spiral into oblivion on Wednesday, November 27, 2002, at 09:48 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
faults;
I don't have nearly enough self restraint
I don't have sufficient willpower
my memory recall isn't sharp enough
I can't predict as much about human behavior as I'd like
I can't say intelligent things in organized debates
I can't express my thoughts in words (even though I say that I think in sentences)
I spend too much time online
I'm not as healthy as I could be
Min's self-fulling angsty teen prophesy in action, right here. Damn you, Min.
No, I'm not depressed. I just feel antsy and lack real words to type. So here you go.
currently listening to: Billy Gilman and Charlotte Church - Sleigh Ride
i spiral into oblivion on Wednesday, November 27, 2002, at 08:55 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Urgh. Why must we get a school vacation for Thanksgiving? Despite all my "issues" with certain classes *cough*Chemistry*cough, I would much rather be there than at home. And umm, I would rather be with my teachers all day than with my parents. Maybe I have some really bad familial issues to work out? We don't celebrate Thanksgiving, if that says anything. I don't think it's weird, but Chao seemed to think so.
And today, the last time I can possibly feel the way I do at school until Monday morning (when all my horrid long-term projects will be due), I decided during lunchtime that Ben seemed a bit too frightened for his own good, at the prospect of seeing The Ring. I figured, okay, I wouldn't be that scared... I've already seen it once, after all. That, and I thought I could desensitize myself to its horror. (I was definitely wrong on that last count.) So... during 6th period, I got permission from my mom (over AIM Express ^_^) to go see a movie after school. ("Who're you going with?" "Oh, some people. Lisa, Philip, Ben, Yolanda... maybe some others..." Umm, right...) I hate that movie ending! I hate it! It's so so so scary...
*ahem*, what was I saying...? Ben was hiding under his jacket the entire movie, and timed fairly well thanks to my 2 second warnings before most of the worst scary moments. I'm still strangely afraid of mirrors... goodness... that blur effect on the characters' photos is terrifying... Well, anyway, Yolanda didn't make it, so it was just four of us. Am I the only one who got the feeling that Ben and I really shouldn't have been watching the movie with Lisa and Philip? *looks over at Philip, who isn't the slightest bit scared over even those horrible blood curdling-scream moments* *looks at Lisa, who keeps her eyes open despite seeming the slightest bit jumpy* *looks at Ben, wondering whether he's going to come out from under that jacket anytime soon* Oh, I'm sorry... I was supposed to be, umm, protecting him from the movie. (Yeah right.) And I can type all of this fairly safely, considering that Min is the only one who will admit to reading it, as well as Lisa and Ben are currently at the Chinese Club Thanksgiving party (at "some place", with "some people", in "that area", until "that time"... or rather, until 11 pm... *snicker* Anyone else notice how whoever's nearby gets the blame for my own twisted, dirty mind?) Oh yes... I have reached a new low. I used a Harry Potter reference on my English vocabulary quiz... and my classmates understood it. And as for South Carolina (who is really watching for updates on this, anyway?) I think my English teacher is becoming increasingly forgetful right before holidays. Instead of giving me information about hotels in Roebuck... he gave me some papers to hand to Yolanda and Mitchell during my next class. Sure, they were absent last week and he misplaced their papers. And umm, he... knows their schedules by heart? He knew that he'd have to ask for their fourth period because someone would come along who has a class with both of them? I do not understand at all. What gives?
In his slow deliberate tone, my English teacher...: "I'm going to leave the classroom for 2 minutes. I have to go to the English office to get the vocabulary quiz that you will be taking. I'm trusting you to refrain from maiming or killing one another. ...Okay?"
Because I didn't know where else to put it... (I don't think it's that accurate):
You are striving to make favorable impressions all of the time and you are going out of your way to make the impression that you are something special. You are constantly on the watch to see how your friends and neighbors are reacting to your various ploys. But this is so unnecessary because most of the time you are in control of the situation - and you are, in the nicest sense of the word, a 'manipulator' because you use various strategies very cleverly in order to influence and obtain the necessary recognition.
You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.
Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.
You are feeling extremely nervous and frustrated. At this moment you are impatient, erratic and irritable. It could be that you are not feeling that well at this time - possibly suffering from hypertension. You feel that the situation is threatening and dangerous. You are resentful that what you have striven so hard for is being menaced and you are at your wits end because you feel powerless to prevent it. You are fearful that everything can collapse on you like a pack of cards and that you could lose everything. You are unable to view the situation objectively. You are attempting to remove or minimise this threat but you are overextended to the point of nervous prostration.
You are afraid that you may not be able to realize or achieve your hopes and desires and so you insist that people should accept you as you are and appreciate your rights to anything that you aspire to.
You are being very dogmatic, insisting that there is to be absolutely no equivocation whatsoever about your achievements and accomplishments.
Oh yeah. Did anyone else notice that in my dazèdness of today, I walked right by Sam and JP (who were saying hi to me) without even noticing? I'm so, so sorry. How did I do that?
currently listening to: annoying tv noise
i spiral into oblivion on Wednesday, November 27, 2002, at 06:20 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
After reading Min's post, I felt all fuzzy and cold (yes, cold) inside. What was I to do? I whipped out a pumpkin pie and immediately downloaded the only Christmas song I still like... I'm not sure if you'd call it a Christmas song, since it's not a carol or what, I suppose it's more of a "winter song". But the rendition by Billy Gilman and Charlotte Church is nice. I wish I could sing as high as they can, if only for the potential in "getting high" puns. Or maybe not.
I learned a few things at It's Academic today. For one thing, FL isn't the only state with alligators. Kansas and Texas do, as well! And I can't recall the energy of a photon's formula. Does it vary directly with frequency or wavelength? E = cv, I think, and v is frequency. Of course, I didn't think of that in time... hmm. And... the tribunal voted in favor of the affirmative in English class, 4 to 1... apparently Ersin was reluctant to compromise his morals. Or something. I assure you, there was no bribery involved-- my side simply did a much better job on the opening and closing. (I'm sorry, but both sides sucked on the questioning sessions.) And uh... two tests and one quiz tomorrow. Oughtn't I study? I haven't read the IC 9 pages that I'm taking a test on, in a language I'm unfamiliar with, no less. All that in-class reviewing had better help.
I was going to say more about today, but I can't remember what I was thinking of a moment ago. Go figure...
Planning for South Carolina is coming along nicely, as the trip actually seems to be a possibility... for all of those that are unsure of whether they can make it, Laura and I have decided that we can. Well, my mom has, but not my dad... we'll just have to ask about that a few days before leaving, won't we? Or perhaps a few seconds / minutes before leaving. Hurray for moms who are conference planners by profession and my actually find us some decent hotel rooms for a cheap price. Hurray for a teacher who will put up with some high schoolers practically by himself for a couple of days. And hurray for those poor SCians who will regret inviting people from so far away! Yay.
Strom Thurmond's birthday is December 5. He's turning 100 this year. Anyone want to "celebrate"?
It's very distracting to hear the band rehearsing "Sleigh Ride" during It's Ac practices.
I'm currently wearing a blue paper umbrella (as in cocktail drinks) in my hair. Jess [Z] put it there during Art class. Interpret the blueness of the umbrella as you will; I certainly can't.
I loathe my brother more than anything.
currently listening to: Billy Gilman and Charlotte Church - Sleigh Ride
i spiral into oblivion on Tuesday, November 26, 2002, at 05:08 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Hi all, how are you doing? I'm doing alright, 'cept that the Math Methods portfolio took me about 5-7 hours last night. It's ever so neatly written up though, t'isn't? All prettily drawn in blue, green, and red ink. And I made a significant effort to make my writing bigger, this time. My teacher agrees, it looks nice. So, umm... how are you doing? I know, I shouldn't be blogging if I've got nothing to say. What can I say? I'm very very sleepy and I'm eating.
I've finished my homework and some other things related to school as well... except for the Chem honors project topic and the It's Ac 10 questions. Oh my goodness. *shudders* I'm going to try and do those questions right now, by hand... and e-mail them tomorrow. I'll try to find my old Chem topic proposals, because if the deadline for the bibliography and outline (December 10) comes before I even get my topic approved, I'm in such big trouble...
My html is so hopelessly messy, how will I ever get it to be WC3 compliant??
currently listening to: Aqua - Happy Boys And Girls
i spiral into oblivion on Monday, November 25, 2002, at 04:10 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Wanna know a secret? I almost never listen to a variety of songs anymore, the "Currently listening to" line is whatever song title pops into my head first. Or sometimes whichever song has the best title. Well, I'm happy to say that I'm not quite as shaken as I was yesterday. Goodness, I don't think I should be watching any more horror movies, ever. As you surely recall, I didn't stop shaking until I got home, and I couldn't watch the entire movie, closing my eyes instead... I couldn't believe it either. At least today, I've stopped looking over my shoulder and backing away from telephones, but I still can't look in a mirror, and I think it'll be quite a very long time before I look straight into a mirror again. Yes, I watched The Ring.
I hate being scared.
Despite being frightened out of my mind all day yesterday, I had very nice dreams last night. I wore a very comforting jacket to sleep, and I guess it helped, although actually falling asleep was a bit difficult... 'Tis a pity I can't remember what the dreams were, now. I still have to see Harry Potter and 8 Crazy Nights (instead of Treasure Planet), and I'm still bothered by Michael [C]'s whole walking-away stunt yesterday. Well no, I'd forgotten about it until I started to think about Regal Cinemas (member of NATO!) again.
I love the third book of the series, and I'm muchly dreading the day it's put into movie format. How will they portray Sirius Black? For that matter, what does Remus Lupin look like? Perhaps we'd all be better off not knowing.
I bought a $7 tin of caramel popcorn from a door-to-door salesman today. Thing is, he looked to be about 6 years old. *grins* Those li'l Cub Scouts are so cute! *ahem* Anyway... I have a number of things to do today, as well as general memorization to set about, but I'm not very much in the mood to do so... I guess I'll try to get started.
My coding for this site is so remarkably messy. I'm doing my online Chem hw and my horrid Math Portfolio next... I don't like it. I don't like it at all. What am I going to do? And I'm watching Justice League at the same time. Weiiird.
currently listening to: Green Day - Misery
i spiral into oblivion on Sunday, November 24, 2002, at 02:26 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
From today's episode...
His mind was like a soap dish, wide and shallow.
(Jordan, Tyler, and Seth were great. Did you watch It's Academic today? No? Shame on you. It wasn't as fun as being there, though.)
listens to Wonderland - Angela Vía
"the range of eight inches long. the functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. is usually found hung, dangling, ready, loosely for instant action. it boasts of a clump of little hairy things at one end and small hole at the other. in use, it is inserted almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrusted in and drawn again many times in succession, often quickly and bodily movements. anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound resulting from the well lubricated movements. when finally withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, white sticky substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from its long glistening shaft... o come on ppl!!! it's a toothbrush!!! sheesh... sick minds..."
I watched The Ring at Regal today (member of NATO!) with Margo and Alina, Mike [C] would have been there if he didn't mysteriously and suddenly run away... the movie was so incredibly scary, I was almost indescribably terrified... I wanted to flee from the theater (and didn't), I wanted to close my eyes and scrunch up into a little ball (which I managed in those medium sized theater seats)... ahhhhhhhhh--
Am I going to get any sleep tonight??
currently listening to: Metallica - Sad But True
i spiral into oblivion on Saturday, November 23, 2002, at 10:13 a.m... it's never too late to change the past
For the first time in a very long time, I'm feeling somewhat relieved that it's the weekend. I mean, I had a fairly good week; it was a bit stressful at times, but it's left a very accomplished after-sensation. Kinda like an aftertaste, except not (necessarily) with the mouth. I actually stayed after school four out of the five days, I think. I'm not sure where I was Monday afternoon; I stayed for It's Ac practice (with only Elissa, Jeremy, Humza, and Han) ... I left before the real tournament, and so didn't see RM completely annihilate the other three schools there. On Wednesday, I stayed after for Math Team, where I proceeded to get 2/4 and 0/5 correct... 0/5 doesn't count against me individually, though. I guess I did alright; Tommy [?] and Chao [?] are good... and the other guy with the awesome hair colors... and of course, Lisa [W] (who's so friendly on top of everything else)... anyway, yeah. Thursday, I stayed after for It's Ac, and practiced for the ever fun KMO, which is basically a format that I can actually participate in. Wooo... Repeat after me, Sydney Carton was the guy who said the famous ending, Lucie Manette was that annoyingly "perfect" girl, and Charles Darnay's real name was D'aulnais, or something strikingly similar. I still cannot seem to recall these not-so-obscure things that I never cared much for, but I'm getting slightly better. And by slightly, I mean not at all... Still, I can't deny that going to It's Ac twice this week made me rather happy. I guess I'm therefore obligated to go again this coming Tuesday...? Today, I stayed after school for Foreign Film Club's film, Children of Heaven... it was subtitled, and it was really good. (Did I just say that??) The little children are so cute, and the boy who plays Ali What's-His-Name is a superb actor. Well, at least for someone who looks about 7 or 8 years old. Err... okay, I was mostly happy to have somewhere to go after school. It was nice to spend a bit of time with Alina too... I don't have any classes with her this semester, so it's been kinda weird with me running to room 111 after 6th period every day, to talk to all my friends in that puny Computer Science 1... pah, first level classes suck >_< I so wanted to write that It's Ac list of questions yesterday, didn't I? I guess I should get cracking on it now. Funny, I'm not in the mood to write things but rather, to walk on the treadmill. Ahhh... haven't done that in so very long. (Reading back over this entry so far, I'm disappointed... I had an eventful week and an okay day, but I simply can't maintain the tone that I usually strive for in this page...) Oh, you know what the secret to really enjoying your time on the computer? Big leathery executive chairs. My dad likes them enough that we have 4 at home... ahhh... That KMO practice says really annoying, corny comments all the time. One particularly strange comment was "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" which is far too sexual sounding for a little black and white cartoon bird on a computer monitor. Ugh... that sort of low level reference should be reserved for Herbal Essences ads. John [H] sniffed my jacket today and said, "Mmm... fresh cow!" Ha. Yeah, I love the smell of leather. *glances furtively for signs of PETA members* They're scary... Okay, now what? *reads back over things* Argh, I lost my train of thought... it's been happening all week, the only difference is that at the beginning of the week I was madder over it, mentally beating myself up for it for about a day or two. Fridays, I just don't care. Today's math quiz went alright (I just typed this a minute ago...) and I got a B on the multiple choice section of the AP US History test, after the 4 point curve. I asked him, "You curved a 30 point test by 4 points? Did we really fail that badly?!" He just made that funny sound, that I think means something like, "Ehh... well, as a teacher I'm not allowed to criticize you this frankly, but Second Period sucked! You guys flunked the test very horribly!" Well, maybe not quite that harsh. Hn. Guess what? My mom's offered me $50 for my report card. Or more specifically, $10 for every A and $5 for every B. (I'm guessing it's no money for anything below a B...) She just gave it to me because she had this sort of thing when she was a child. She was pampered and therefore wants me to be pampered; sorry, but I'm not turning down this cash. I think I'll treat myself to Ranma 20 and Inuyasha 12, finally. Hey, y'know what else? My brother got 3 A's and 4 B's, same thing I got. Difference is, this is unusual for him. He's worked so hard this year for his grades. Do you know what I've been doing? I say things like, "We had math homework last night?!" (with a genuine Surprised Look), "So... what're the verbs on the French quiz, anyway?" (1/3 of the quiz is translation from French to English), "Uh... you mean we have an in-class essay today?" (slightly modified, I found out about the English essay one day ahead of time). Still... you get the idea, don't you? Don't think that I am without a conscience, because I feel very guilty over this lack of hard work. True, this laziness usually earns me less-than-spectacular grades, but knowing that I might do better than this is haunting me. We'll see if I manage any changes at the halfway point.
8:21 pm ~ It's past 8 already?! *yelps* But I didn't get anything done today!! Oh... no, wait, I did. I had a nice day at school, I took two quizzes and one test (most probably without failing any of them), I stayed after school for a club, I spent time with friends, I watched a movie. So yeah, I did do some things... I just haven't gotten any homework done... *buries self in feelings of guilt* I still think that I would make such a good workaholic if I had just a little bit more willpower... Your word of the day, because I said so, is:
cur·mudg·eon ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kr-mjn) n.
An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions.
source: dictionary.com
currently listening to: KoRn - Divine
i spiral into oblivion on Friday, November 22, 2002, at 05:37 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I have spent the past two hours (since writing the previous entry) fretting over whether I should be typing my Chem lab at all, finally coming to the conclusion that since I cannot drop the class, I might as well try to do a decent job of it; I've got 20/20 from the Flame Test lab that I completely rushed and scribbled, so why shouldn't I try to maintain it? Also, this being the third entry for today, marks the fact that I've spent far too much time online for today. And some of the time was spent reading blogs of people I don't know, no less. (Want to read a blog by someone by my first name, who attends my school? You can if you want. I've glanced at it... good writing, better'n mine, complete with something of a social life.) Well, back to Chemistry. I'm going to stop trying to claim that it's actually a bad class, because it's not; I just absolutely abhor writing up lab reports. I wrote my first one in 6th grade at TPMS, and it sucked. I wrote my next one soon after, and it was very poor as well. Since then, I have not improved very notably, but I have been getting slightly higher marks anyway. Doesn't change the fact that they are pure torture to write. I know I'm wasting time by talking about getting something done. I know and realize that I am probably exhibiting something along the lines of low self esteem. And so on, and so on... I just can't seem to force myself to finish this. Normally I start my worksheets and other such homework at 11 pm; studying is postponed until it just doesn't happen. I have a few more hours until I reach that threshold... let's see if I can break my record. Look at the paper, look at the paper, look at the paper...
How does one do what one is told to do when there are so many better activities to take part in? Study the presidents for general knowledge, read ReligiousTolerance.org for its relatively nonpartisan information on many religions and philosophies, write fascinating questions on difficult topics for It's Ac, go over practice problems for Math Team, learn to write in Al Bhed to pass notes to people during class (who would then be completely unable to understand me... pity that the only person who would is not quite within note-passing distance at the moment)... really, I'd prefer almost anything else. Which is precisely why I've wasted the past 3 hours so gleefully (yes, the amount of time wasted has lengthened because I took so long to write this). *35 minutes later* As I type my horrid lab report, I notice that my hands are slightly grey... could this be a side effect of all the insane chilliness that abounds? Somewhat inexplicably, I can't wait for English class tomorrow. Hint hint, maybe it's not just the subject, maybe it's the people. Yeah, fun dorky IB people. And the omnipresent English teacher, of course... how does he manage to be in every hallway at once? Maybe I walk by the English office a bit too much. Umm. Something I need to learn more about: Earth Science. Why? I'm not entirely certain right now. It's just one of those things that I need to know. Other things to research (y'know, for the hell of it): scientology, humanism, abortion, buddhism, earth science (yes, I'm going to do this twice, because I'm bound to forget soon after), the presidency of James K. Polk (he has been deemed important, for TMBG wrote a song about him), Salem [MA], the stock exchange, comics such as The Boondocks and Zits... right, well then, that's enough for now. This ought to keep me busy for... the next few years?
*some time later, at 9:20 pm* ~ I've figured out how to make typing the Chem lab demi-fun. I've changed the settings on the mouse, switched the keyboard and mouse around... and am currently in training to use the computer mouse left-handed. Why am I doing this when I'm working on a relatively high-stakes assignment? Well, I couldn't think of any other way to force myself to do the assignment. By the way, I've written over two pages, including data tables, procedures, and such. This has taken me a bit over an hour, including when I stopped working to eat dinner and catch up on yet more blogs. No more hunting cluelessly through my outdated favorites list, I must add these links to the garish red sidebar. Moving the mouse with my left hand is difficult indeed. I have months or years to go before I become even functionally ambidextrous; years or decades before I'm completely comfortable with my left hand. Well, if I keep going at the rate of one page written / moved with a mouse per month. Gah...?
11:15 pm ~ So many hours after I started it, I've finished my Chem lab. It was certainly as bad as I expected, but it's over with. It's 4 very full pages long, aren't ya proud of me? Three times as much as I normally write on lab reports and such things. I think I just want to collapse right now. Ooh, I'm sooo sore... and I've got this weird sinking feeling; nothing bad just happened, and I'm not expecting anything in particular to happen in the future. I just have a bad feeling 'bout something, and lately, I've been trusting my 'feelings' a bit more. I'm very doubtful, but regardless, please be careful, all.
currently listening to: Metallica - Enter Sandman
i spiral into oblivion on Thursday, November 21, 2002, at 07:28 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Well well well... previous entry was written during Computer Science 2 (obviously!) so it was written in a big rush. I'm relaxed, happy, and no longer hungry-- in short, I'm at home, only my family's not very nearby. Art class went alright, 'cept for the fact that Ms Fishman is so concerned with how bad my drawing is that she says "[she] wishes that [she] weren't going to Hawaii, because this drawing needs some work". I don't like it either, but that's a little harsher than I expected to hear. No matter, it really isn't very good. I'll work on it, and Jessica [Z] and Meg [L] will probably help out a bit by stating the obvious, as "you're drawing a coin purse? So where is it?" (I didn't have it in front of me). AP US Test was alright, except that I finished a 30 minute test in 15 minutes, and spent the remaining time compulsively checking my bubbling-in skillz... or rather, lack of said skillz. Sigh, I don't think I did too well but it was sort of fun to do. It even helped me with one of the easier It's Ac questions this afternoon. Now, room A1 is not the most stifling room in the school by any measure, but wearing my spiffy leather jacket and writing a very high-stakes in-class essay on The Crucible (and Elizabeth Proctor's desicion to lie in court), I was rather... panicked. No, really, I mean that I was more panicked and stressed than usual. That adds up to near silent hyperventilation, as well as feeling very faint at the end of class. It also means that I wrote only 3 long paragraphs and one short one, when I had intended to write 5 full lengthed paragraphs. I wrote far too slowly at the beginning of class is all. Or as Humza put it, "[my] wpm steadily increased while the quality of [my] essay decreased." My words per minute varies inversely with the quality of my essay and directly with time elapsed. Yeah, yeah. Guess who spends too much time thinking about math? Somehow I'm still not particularly good at it, but I'm trying to change that. Chem sucked, because Yolanda was absent so I had to drudge through what may be my least favorite class all by myself. I spent about 5 minutes near the end of class correcting Saul [C] and Matt [Z]'s arithmetic before realizing that I, too, had made some rather stupid errors (but not on the same problems).
Lunchtime went alright, I was slow packing up at the end of Chemistry and got dragged into the Astronomy Club meeting by accident; this is a good thing, as I would have otherwise forgotten to ask about tomorrow night's telescope night. Well, the telescope night is not in Hyattville (or wherever that place was) and it is not tomorrow night. Apparently tomorrow night will be very bad weather for sitting outside and looking at the sky. Instead, the date is tentatively next Wednesday night at 7:30 pm, at the "usual" park. (I have yet to figure out where this park is.) There will also be a meeting during lunch on Wednesday in room 227, because it is the last day before Thanksgiving weekend. Geez, Sam, how do you have three major commitments for one weekend? Family, church, and 4H? You're insane. But I guess I should not really be calling someone else insane, seeing as I hear noises (but not voices, not yet) and see strange things. And no, I'm not psychic, even though I guessed math problem 5-4 correctly and wrote it incorrectly. Anyway, Math class was okay, if you ignore my blatant use of fuzzy math yesterday and today. Reminder to self, when dividing one side by cos2x, one must divide the other side by cos2x as well. Good stuff to know. Java was alright, I wasted most of class but who really cares? I will try to get my program done tomorrow during class, I really will. For anyone who cares, Han made most of solitaire work but cannot move more than one card to another column simultaneously, so it's rather unrealistic; I don't really care, I commend him on taking on such an ambitious game in the first place. (And good luck with ping pong, and all that... whatever else you do.) French class was boring, I took out a pass to the bathroom and ran upstairs to the main office to continue my wild goose chase for information. (As I was told yesterday, "wild goose chases are fun... if you're the goose.") I was told to go to the registrar's office, where I was then told to go to my guidance counselor; then she changed her mind and asked what my question was. She tells me Art & Culture, no matter IB or not, doesn't count as honors anywhere in MCPS. What a disappointment. What a painful blow to my weighted GPA. What a useless piece of info. For the rest of French class, I read the Style section of Washington Post; I would be reading Outlook, y'know, but Chao [Y] was reading that section, so I got stuck with the comics. Not too bad, at least I got a section that has some news... but I gave up on reading it, and resorted to talking in whispers because of Mme Johnson's decision to ignore us in class today, excepting when we tried to talk with one another.
Happily, 7th period eventually ended, and I beelined to room A1 for It's Ac practice. I'd thought that there was something important today, but couldn't remember what... turns out today was our practice session for the Knowledge Master Open (KMO). It was great fun, as I did not hold a buzzer, but instead yelled out random answers. Mr McKenna told us, rather ominously, that he would not let us participate in this unless we submit 10 questions on an unfamiliar topic before Thanksgiving break, preferably by e-mail. I'll have to work on that... most probably literature, easiest to research and write about. Speaking of our oh so esteemed coach, he was practically laughing at us (while shaking his head in disappointment) as we stumbled through every single English (grammatical) question in the 200-question practice KMO. (One was on correct use of hyphens, which I knowingly butcher on a regular basis. My blog most probably constitutes parenthetical abuse as well, but not to the extent that Min's does.) Turns out use of "elipsis" is omission of a word in a sentence. I'm not too clear on it in general, as most of us were never taught these topics in middle school (we wasted the better part of 3 years summarizing cruddy young adult novels, or reading 1984 and Animal Farm, very notably not cruddy.) Oh boy, I'm becoming very very self concious in typing this. How on earth do I use proper grammar? *wonders if spelling is as atrocious as spell-checker claims* Back to the topic of It's Ac... we suck the most in Earth Sciences and Mathematics. We have the ever great (and omnipresent) Barry [R] (minister of Splendor in the Grass) on our team. Oh well... even the best of us occasionally struggle with mental math. I got a few questions correct here and there, not always in a very helpful manner, but it was a lot of fun for me. We absolutely crushed the other three schools at this past Tuesday's meet (held at RM). In fact, we crushed the 2nd place Sherwood by 500 points or so. Oooooh. And guess what else? Our "Very Important And Also Omnipresent, Except Even More So" Tyler [A] will be on Jeopardy!! He'll be taping December 15, so tune in the week of February 3-10. Oh, and also make sure to see Jordan [W], Tyler [A], and Seth [S] this Saturday morning, brutally smashing up B-CC and Centreville. And to think, B-CC was the only school there with cheerleaders-- 6 or so, in fact. A lot of good they did, eh? Actually, that's alright... they were good at whatever it is they were doing. And the team sure did look spiffy (and relaxed, and happy) in their suits and ties on camera. I think they should wear tuxes next time, like Jeremy did at the tournament this Tuesday. Wait, why was he wearing a tux? Ah well, I've typed for 31 minutes about my day... I ought to get started on typing that Chem lab (not fun!) and writing those 10 It's Ac questions (mildly fun!)
currently listening to: Final Fantasy X - Auron's Theme
i spiral into oblivion on Thursday, November 21, 2002, at 04:51 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
My freaky math teacher keeps throwing dry erase markers at the whiteboard and at students. Not us students, but some other students that he seems to know from elsewhere, maybe his on-level classes. I've wasted all of lunch, all of before-school, and most of programming class. Will I be able to finish my card game program? Only tomorrow will tell. In the meantime, I have a Chem lab to type (damn Martioski...) and some other small miscellaneous things to worry about. No telescope tomorrow night, for a variety of reasons, but there's a lunchtime meeting and evening telescope night next Wednesday. Gaming Club presumably Monday at lunch; It's Ac today afterschool? If no It's Ac, I'll be in the computer lab, scrambling to finish the stupid program. Han took on a very, very ambitious classroom project by saying he'd code Solitaire with a text based interface. Gah. I don't like my math grade and I don't like my AP US History grade. AP US DBQ tomorrow morning, English quiz moved to Tuesday. And so on, and so on. There're too many things going on. Movie this weekend? Talked to him three hours yesterday. That's a very long time. That's more than when he lived around here. Weeeird. And I'm very, very sleepy right now. *collapses*
currently listening to: teachers talking to students
i spiral into oblivion on Thursday, November 21, 2002, at 01:13 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Drat (...) the entire school day, it wasn't anything special. Normally I like school, even my classes, but today was especially dull. The only notable things were perhaps lunch and afterschool. I ate lunch with Sandy and the others (there really should be a one-word phrase for that, similar to -tachi in Japanese). I didn't do anything during lunch, except be happy and eat candy. I ate too much candy, but I've forgiven myself for that. Now I just gotta get back onto the treadmill at least every other day or so...
Afterschool was the best part of today, by far. We had a Mathletes math meet for the third week in a row (and the last Wednesday for quite some time), finally hosted at RM. It's about time. We're the only ones who send more than 5 or 6 people to each meet. Magruder, Wheaton, and Rockville were supposed to come today; Magruder didn't make it. A Team got switched around a bit; I'm still on it, with Lisa [W], Chao [not Y], what's-his-name-with-the-mad-awesome-hair, and Tommy [?]. Yeah, I really need to get to know the people at Math Team better. We did alright, scoring 7 points for 5-1 and 5-2, 2 points for 5-3 and 5-4 (that second part sucked). I don't know how many we got correct in the team problems, but we did just barely get one wrong, thanks to a small calculation error. Talked to Ostrowski more times today than I would have prefered, but never mind that... we had a lot of fun hanging up those signs around the school, snickering as we plotted to redirect our "guests" all over our cruddy looking school. Lisa [J], Sandy, Yubing, Pin-yi, Philip [Q?], Tommy [?], JP... did I forget anyone? I most probably did, there were quite a lot of us. Philip has the best handwriting ever, he should sell it to Microsoft as a font... (I'd be a groupie by now if handwriting weren't normally such a dull and mundane sort of thing) Oh yeah, JP. JP [C], whose mom (I think) works at RM... right? He's always there afterschool, sort of trapped at the building, lacking the proper textbooks to do homework. He just sorta followed us around the school (with that heavy looking backpack) for lack of something better to do, and actually ended up competing with RM's B Team (yay! Another person!!)
Oh yeah... check out what I'm wearing now... dark blue knee socks, greyish tan cargo pants, dark blue belt (because these pants were meant for my brother... they're way too big for me), The Legend of Zelda spiffy pocket watch (without a battery, because je suis paresseuse), long sleeved black t-shirt (all soft and stretchy), brown and tan scrunchies, and... a leather jacket. Yep, you read that correctly. Mmm. Leather smells so good. It's incredibly soft and warm. The jacket doesn't look remarkably good with anything else I have, but I don't usually notice these things when I'm getting dressed in the mornings (because I'm still asleep in the mornings) so I guess it doesn't matter. It's so soft, and so warm...
I got a number of compliments on my hat yesterday. I think it might've been my mom's hat, but I wore it around all day, so I tend to refer to it as being mine. I heard "great hat" and such many times, and I had it "stolen" from me; once successful, twice unsuccessful, thrice total. Isn't it so nice? I want my class shirt. I should put something like "deityofdeath" on it (for Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho)or "psychicmoron", as Jan came up with last year during the Code Red drill. Oh. And as I think neglected to say further up on this page, I got 2 correct out of 4 individual questions at math team, bringing my total to 9 (out of 20). It's not great, but I think it's decent. It's better than my track record at It's Ac...
I'm mildly worried about my mental condition. It seems to be trendy to proclaim oneself insane or random, or perhaps psycho... but I've honestly been hearing strange sounds, especially a slightly muted end-of-class bell when there isn't a real bell. Mainly this happens at 11:30-11:32, a few minutes before lunch ends... not even because I'm anticipating the end of lunch, because it happens even when I don't know what time it is. And I don't pretend to hear it, I really hear it. Obviously, there's no such sound at 11:30, so... I'm hearing things. And my memory is failing me rather tremendously; I cannot remember Mr McKenna mentioning the in-class essay for the Arthur Miller play at all, only that we wouldn't have an essay for Fences. While reading Death of a Salesman, I could never remember what page we were on. Or rather, I thought I knew what page we'd left off at, but no one else in the class thought it was that page; I was usually off by 2 or 3 pages. What do you think?
My brief statement for now is, I've given up all hope of getting an A in English, and ever since, I've almost never gotten any grade above a 88%. Don't ever quit like I did, because it's nigh-impossible to return to your previous mindset; I'm not sure if I can at all. (This took me 24 minutes to write.)
currently listening to: KoRn - Got The Life
i spiral into oblivion on Wednesday, November 20, 2002, at 06:56 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Ooo... I don't feel too good... I'm not physically sick, that was 3 or 4 weeks ago... right? Well, I was sort of sick this weekend too, but that wasn't too bad. I feel very, very uneasy about a number of things. Yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to be rather angsty to be around for this week. It's not shaping up to be a very good week. Yesterday, I had three substitutes (Mr Beach, Ms Bridgett, and Ms Johnson) and one sick teacher (Ms Martioski). So far the teacher with the best attendance record is Mr McKenna, while the ones with the worst are Ms Fishman and Ms Johnson. (I like my memory. It fails me sometimes, like when I try to answer obscure quiz questions, but it's good for keeping track of long term affairs.) The sick teacher wasn't acting too cheerful, and the substitutes weren't all too good. I used to absolutely hate it when we had a sub, because in my experience, the ones that don't hand the class free reign over all will terrorize the students. Turns out that was only in elementary school. Regardless, I still do not like having a substitute teacher, just as I don't like visiting the school nurse or talking to any administrative personnel (main office secretaries, assistant principals, principals; security guards are the exception). Um... wait, where was I going with this?
I got one question right at the It's Ac practice today... I only bothered buzzing in once. I think I do the team more good when I keep score, as I did today, but not everyone agrees. Some encourage me to buzz in more often. Don't tell them, but... when I don't buzz in, guess what? I usually don't know the answer. The rare times that I do, I'm simply too slow or I'm uncomfortable buzzing in for a multitude of reasons. Mainly that I can't seem to pronounce the answers very clearly, even when I can converse perfectly well for the rest of the day. I only went to It's Ac today because I was notified about a nifty little thing called a Junior Varsity tournament on January 25. (That's right... JV It's Ac!) Ah well, it's only relevant in any way because I just barely qualify for the age group (that's 10th grade down to 7th or so, for those of you counting-impaired). Guess what that means? I might actually get to go. Maybe. And most likely as an alternate. But still!! Think about this. This would be so great. But, the best part is yet to come. January 25, 2003 is a Saturday. And... this lovely JV tournament is going to be in South Carolina. Do you understand what that means? Do you know how far away SC is? I'd be staying away overnight. I'm excited to be away from home for many reasons, one of them being that I don't get to do this much. Another reason is that I'll be away overnight during the weekend. (If you already know why I loathe weekends and summer vacation, this probably makes a fair amount of sense; if not, it won't.) The only sophomores at It's Ac at RM are Humza, Mike [S], Laura [?], and Saul [C]. Hear that? I actually know some of them! I know I may sound weird, but I doubt any of you can look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't want to do this. (If you can, contact me. I'd like to know how you lie so convincingly.)
Okay, I think I've mostly calmed down. (SC! SC!!!!) Forecast for this week is as follows, AP US unit test and PreCal 7.1-7.3 quiz are on Thursday, Mathletes math team meet on Wednesday afternoon, AP US DBQ on Friday, Astronomy Club telescope night on Friday night, and... if Mr McKenna was lying to us, English in-class essay on Thursday. Oh my goodness... I hope he didn't change his mind. I desperately want yet another reason to gloat over Ms Sullivan's students. (If we do have an essay, I think I could do it... not necessarily get an A, but I could do it.)
I don't feel quite right, I feel uneasy, I feel uncomfortable, I am frightened, I feel scared. I'm sitting in the dark. The dark is nothing to be afraid of. Over the years, I've learned that darkness can be your friend, if you just embrace it. The darkness is my oldest friend. I find comfort here. The darkness is still here... it still calls to me. I made friends with the shadows... There is nothing you need fear... from the darkness. If you think about it, we all begin and end in darkness. Pain only comes from the light of day. Life, and all its horrors, are revealed in the light. ©Not Me. ©Some Dude Who Writes A Spider-Man Comic, Or Maybe ©Marvel.
Wow. I have 2.5 inch spiders in my house. I have had two killed so far. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmm.
*time passes*
I met two very large spiders (arachnids...) recently. I met one today and I met the other one a few days ago. Both were on the floor, in my house. I had them both swatted. Can you really blame me? I tried to talk sense into them, explaining that it couldn't be very good for their health to stay in my house (where it is colder than it is outside... in winter), but they didn't reply. I've promised to refrain from killing the spider if I see that same one again.
New playlist is as follows: KoRn - Got the Life; Metallica - The Memory Remains; Dr Dre and Eminem - Forgot About Dre; Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy X) - Otherworld. I suggest you go and download these songs right now. Don't bother with the lyrics, you have to actually listen to these songs. And let me leave you with one final note before I go off to bed:
Try not to get assaulted by any arachnids.
currently listening to: Metallica - The Memory Remains
i spiral into oblivion on Tuesday, November 19, 2002, at 05:13 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I don't like this new Trig unit in Pre Calculus. It takes creativity? It takes thinking outside the box? Oh, no, you lie, Mr Ostrowski; it takes memorizing every single identity I could ever not want to know. After stumbling though the math homework and getting probably half or so of the questions wrong, I just want to sit down and play Tales of Phantasia. Screw my 3.42 GPA and my small queue of homework waiting upstairs for me, I want to save the world.
currently listening to: Tales of Phantasia - The Dream Will Never Die
i spiral into oblivion on Sunday, November 17, 2002, at 02:56 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Last night I watched Charley's Aunt at Blair. It was simply hilarious, and my congratulations go out to Eric Glover, the only cast member I've even heard about. I didn't go to see Harry Potter yesterday because of this prior commitment. However, I'm rather afraid of it anyway, as Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets contains my least favorite two characters ever, Dobby and Gilderoy Lockhart. Dobby is the Jar Jar Binks of the Harry Potter 'verse. No, really, it's horrible. I hate his speaking and I've heard his voice. Ehhhch. I'm so afraid. The last three times I started up FF6, I got so horribly lost that I saved and gave up. I still cannot get past that part. My brother insists that I go play FF8 now. I've never saved Rinoa, much less saved the world. In fact, I feel so bad that I'm going to go save Rinoa now. In the meantime, Min: update your blog; Everyone Else: read Silver Chips Online, because I love it.
currently listening to: Inuyasha - Change the World
i spiral into oblivion on Saturday, November 16, 2002, at 06:05 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I think I want to continue my train of thought from yesterday, but since my brain is very slightly frayed from 4-ish hours of sleep, and my fingers are practically frostbitten from the cold, so I'm having a nice bit of trouble doing so. During the Math meet, I found out from Pin-yi that Mr Awono's father died, and apparently he can't afford the plane ticket to go to Cameroon, or to bury him. Normally, I'd be mildly laughing, but this isn't any stranger, this is a teacher. *sniff, sniff* Let's raise enough money to buy him a first class round trip ticket to Cameroon! Obviously it's near impossible, what with the time constraints... would we even be able to get him a coach ticket in time for a funeral? Somehow, I doubt it. We had a fire drill in the cold today, which was a nice alternative to sitting inside in French class. And one thing I haven't talked nearly enough about is... my new duct tape bracelets!! No, they're not taped to my skin, and yes, they're loose enough for me to push them ½ up my forearm or so. Although I think Jai nearly killed me trying to apply the first bracelet, it was so tight that even though I didn't notice it until a few minutes later, it seemed to have shrunk... Willa cut it off for me, after Jessica warned me not to slit my wrist by accident. Pah. Today, on the radio (99.5 on the bus ride home from school) I heard Forgot About Dre. I think it's an old enough song that I was surprised... I don't even hear Without Me much anymore. But sadly, they censored far too many words. Even Eminem's word 'strangled', I think. It's like Last Resort, the radio brutally mangles any song with too many hints of violence. I'm not too sure if I can justify a complete lack of censorship on the airwaves, but I at least know why I like downloading music or buying cds much better than listening to the radio. The only thing I can ever hear on the radio that's uncensored (and not country... we have far too many country music stations in this area) is classic rock, 94.7. The December 2002 issue of Game Informer that came yesterday has been sitting in my room; I finally got around to reading it this afternoon. Took me a full 3 hours to read it, and I didn't even read it cover to cover this time. With monthly Game Informer, weekly Shonen Jump (that should start anytime now...I already subscribed so far in advance, and they promised me November of this year, dammit!), The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post (with 'Post Magazine on weekends), I'm getting a bit overwhelmed. I know not everything in every periodical is worth reading, but I rather like most of it. I used to think I wanted to review anime for a living, at a magazine like Animerica, but I've realized that that'd never hold my attention long enough; I'd also get sick of taking notes while watching, since I certainly don't trust my own memory to write comprehensive reviews (for proof, just look over this page). I know this paragraph has been long and rambling, covering topics that are unrelated to each other, but my sleep deprivation is still keeping me from remembering what I signed online to type about. I did write something during French in mirror imaged text on how and why I hate Chemistry, but it doesn't quite make sense now that I go back and reread it. By the way, even though my grammar isn't always the best, at least by strict rules and casual things like comma splicing, it rather irritates me when people can't type in flowery sentences when they should, such as certain periodicals when they are paid to do so, *cough*Gazette*cough*; anyway. I like typing, but my fingers are really getting tired. Let's start a new paragraph.
Googlism.com is still the best way to waste a class period, and Al Bhed beats Pig Latin any day. Mario Party 4 is a disappointment even to someone who liked the old games (okay, only Mario Party 2). And I'm not even near the right target demographic; at least, if Nintendo knows what they're doing (maybe not). I also don't like Animal Crossing that much anymore, after my lack of contact with it for the past few months. Kingdom Hearts is still good, whether I'm playing it, watching it, or just plain thinking about it. However, the beginning video... oooh, it's really pretty, but it doesn't make any sense to me. I ought to understand cryptic things: I'm trained by my cultish, elitist school program to analyze everything to no end. I've watched and / or played nearly everything in Kingdom Hearts, once or twice. I've watched the entire ending very closely, but only once (so as to not diminish the emotional impact... and because my brother won't let me watch it again). And I don't get it.
My report card just came. I have to finally face the fact that I have 3 A's and 4 B's. Hypocritical standards from others don't exactly help, and besides, I still haven't come to terms with my B in Pre Calculus. I know I can do better than this, I know I can. Well, shut up... I got A's in every single assignment in that class except for two grades, one test and one homework assignment. Neither were failing, both were C's. My grade was most assuredly a high B, but not quite high enough. It is, of course, my own fault that I didn't expect the first IB problem to be worth 40 points, plus the fact that I had completely forgotten about it until the literal and proverbial night before. For that matter, Ms Wheeler had made the very same assignment worth 20 points in her class. Don't lecture on the inequality and grade inflation in high schools before you realize the inequality in teachers within each school. Oh? My Art & Culture class doesn't count as an Honors class? Oh hell no. You'd better record it as an Honors class, because it is an IB class, dammit... I am not making my weighted GPA any worse! (That li'l remark that "[I] can do better" didn't exactly help... Lisa...)
currently listening to: Dr Dre / Eminem - Forgot About Dre
i spiral into oblivion on Thursday, November 14, 2002, at 04:34 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Holy shit... RM's It's Ac teams actually did not do well! *is shocked and saddened* Do you want to see the entire rankings sheet? Hold on, let me get out that e-mail... There we go. All copied and pasted; it should be okay, or at the very least legible. Do you see how close we came?! Ahhhh. Oh well. I'm over it. (Can you tell that I don't even attend It's Ac anymore?)
As for Math Team (Mathletes?) Barry couldn't make it, since Splendor in the Grass is still being performed (I realized he isn't just working on the play, he's in the play). Tommy, previously on B Team for some unfathomable reason, will probably be bumped to A Team after his 3/4 performance on individuals today. RM A Team sucked for the 5 team questions, getting none right. It's not just the teachers anymore, we all wish desperately that Barry would stop with his (very good) role (as a preacher) in the school play, and just hurry up and score well in math... well, maybe that's just me. B Team totaled 10 for today, A Team totaled 6, Rockville and Wheaton both got rather low scores. Rm is far ahead of some schools in the area but still desperately behind tops like Blair. Oh, Blair. After missing the first two meets of the season altogether (for lack of a team and a teacher sponsor) I don't think we'll ever catch up. Anyway. Personally, I think I did rather badly. I scored 1/4 on individuals and did not even come close to solving any of the team questions. Argh, right? After one practice and two meets, I think my personal total is 7 (4 + 2 + 1). At this rate, I'm only going to get ½ a question right next time...
I'm being an irresponsible little child and not doing my textnotes. That, and some other little trivial things, such as French textnotes (actually IC, interlude culturel things). And that AP US History quiz that follows the textnotes... and the Math unit test, our second Trig unit that I am inexplicably terrible at... And after my 18/25 on the recent quiz, the third time I officially Screwed Up in math class this year, I am very ashamed and finally convinced that I need to study.
A very good reason to read your history books: Zachary Taylor, 12th president of the United States, ate too much at an Independence Day celebration in 1850; he died of gastroenteritis on July 9.
TOP EIGHT TEAMS (ADVANCING)
1. Walter Johnson 6-0 2240
2. Blair A 6-0 1980
3. Churchill A 6-0 1810
4. St Anselms 5-1 1750
5. Banneker A 5-1 1670
6. Watkins Mill 5-1 1640
7. ER 5-1 1630
8. Wootton 5-1 1510
OTHER TEAM RANKINGS (not advancing)
9. RM-B 5-1 1460
10. QO 5-1 1420
11. RM-A 4-2 1710
12. WJ-B 4-2 1270
13. Blair B 3-3 1530
14. Howard 3-3 1260
15. Magruder A 3-3 1140
16. B-CC 3-3 1060
17. Rockville A 2-4 1190
18. Springbrook 2-4 950
19. Churchill-B 2-4 910
20. Einstein 2-4 900
21. NW 2-4 830
22. SV 2-4 800
23. Banneker B 1-5 1000
24. G-burg 1-5 650
24. Paint Branch 1-5 650
26. Rockville B 1-4 620+
27. Sherwood A 0-6 780
28. Magruder B 0-6 650
29. Banneker C 0-5 570+
30. Sherwood B 0-6 440
(This is actually well formatted, but I don't remember the special code for making tabs appear, so it's going to be kind of... hard to read.
currently listening to: Final Fantasy X - Auron's Theme
i spiral into oblivion on Wednesday, November 13, 2002, at 05:29 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
some Boy Scouts of America and atheism issue... again
I think this woman is overreacting. Or perhaps, I simply disagree with taking anything, especially religion, very seriously. People have been known to lie or intentionally mislead others in a court of law despite having taken an oath. How much are you really expecting of a high school boy? Besides the fact that I'm extremely biased on this issue (if I had it my way, and it required little to no effort, I would be dictator of the world and eradicate religion altogether, choosing some other way of brainwashing my masses) I don't think the term 'honor' even belongs in today's world, with its occasional archaic connotations. It's true that the Boy Scouts are a private organization, and no one is forced to join (unless some horribly twisted parents force their children into these sorts of things, saving them from unfamiliar cults by pushing them into a familiar one). Er... I'm not quite sure what to make of the ACLU reference, though. Liberties? Well, anyway, an association with so much widespread support should at least expect that when making such controversial and exclusionary policies that some will not be satisfied. They can refuse atheists, sure. I think atheists are better off not joining in the first place. And hey, what of my 1.5 year stint in the Girl Scouts when I was younger and/or very foolish? Why have I not heard of any horrendous stories from them?
currently listening to: Green Day - J.A.R.
i spiral into oblivion on Tuesday, November 12, 2002, at 10:03 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
I would be writing this during Period 6 in the computer lab, but for some reason the network was down / slow today, and I didn't log in until the last 10 minutes of class or so.
Hmm... during Math class today, Mr Ostrowski uh, "lost his temper" again. For quite some time now, the class has gone smoothly... but today, after going over one particularly sticky problem for the past 20 minutes or so, Lisa offhandedly remarked to Nick, "Just... let it go." Mr Ostrowski repeated it several times incredulously and went through the usual motions of staring at the class and standing in utter silence. He then briefly reiterated his position on how our class had just been very rude to him, and making his job difficult, etc. After these few minutes, we resumed class, but rather uncomfortably... I have to say this time that I agree with Mr Ostrowski, in that our class was rude and disruptive all through Period 5 today, and that Lisa should not have said "let it go", probably trivializing the teacher's role in the classroom. However, as the teacher of a large group of students who are in school by law rather than by choice, Mr Ostrowski should have tried to show more restraint despite the apparent lack of respect; instead of taking it as a personal insult, he might have "let it go" or talk it over with the individual student (which he did do after class... I felt very uncomfortable leaving her there...) rather than turning it into a 2-minute mini-lecture to the entire class. Don't get the idea that Lisa has been disrupting class, she hasn't; even if I don't agree with her casual comment, I blame the Juniors in the class more... or rather, the side of the classroom furthest towards the teacher's desk and the bulletin boards. As a personal grudge and a very, very subjective way of looking at them... they've been asking the worst questions, laughing and talking the most during class, and disrespecting the teacher the most. I was very, very relieved when Gordon broke the long silence by volunteering the correct answer... one + / - sign different from the teacher's answer. As an irrelevant detail, at the beginning of class today a number of the girl Juniors had been screaming painfully loudly (at least, painful and disgustingly pitiful to my own ears) at a small, slow moving insect / arachnid on the ground near them or in one girl's backpack... they continued screaming or making those hideous sounds even after Mr Ostrowski stepped in and scooped up the creature, dumping it outside the classroom. As far as I'm concerned, not killing a bug or spider upon seeing it already shows great restraint; getting rid of it without killing it is absolutely commendable. I felt rather sorry for him after all the screaming. That, and my ears hurt badly.
I know it's ugly to be so very full of hate today, but I'm really very tired right now. I'm sorry...
*time passes*
Okay, more stuff that I've neglected to type when it first occured to me. Yesterday I had an interesting talk with someone; I mentioned on this page how I felt about this... Last night, I had a dream that this person came to visit... and although it was really great to have this person back, the face was very strangely pale, and I had this creepy sensation in the back of my mind... umm... okay, fine. I felt the same way as when I'm meeting someone from the Farplane in one of my dreams. Err... did anyone catch that reference? [That's not to say that you're dead... absolutely not! I think it's my mind's way of telling me that during the dream you weren't real. It was kinda scary though... but the rest of the dream was absolutely great, as short as it was. I can't wait to see you again...]
Enough of that, eh? In overall stamina... I suck. No, really, I'm totally exhausted after walking 1 mile briskly -_-;; I've decided that it's because I got so little sleep Sunday and Monday nights, and I'm going to aim for 8 hours tonight. Of course, that'll probably end up something more like 5... never mind that... schoolwork-wise, it's going okay, if you ignore the fact that I still have not started my homework for today. I keep thinking that if I ignore it long enough, it'll fade away. Most things do, don't they?
currently listening to: Utada Hikaru - Simple and Clean (PlanitB remix) [Japanese]
i spiral into oblivion on Tuesday, November 12, 2002, at 02:42 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
...in other news today, we go to the living room! This is where Sharon is sitting as she taps out the events of her day since the last post, feverently attempting to divert her attention from other awaiting homework. How much longer can she hold out? What are the limits of procrastination?
In fact, I finished my Art journal. I believe this week's 4 pages (1-2 entries) to be even more dismal than usual, but who knows... I think my teacher'll either like it, or tell me to redo it because it doesn't fulfill any requirements whatsoever. As a result of all of this, my hands are thoroughly smudged with this pencil graphite. But none of this artsy graphite sticks beat Liquid Lead. Ohhh yeah, Liquid Lead is amusing. It looks like a pen, writes like a pen... right? Well, a gel pen anyway. But as the liquid dries, what do you see on the paper? Yes, it indeed looks like pencil writing. Try erasing it with nearly any eraser, it even erases like pencil. Oh so intriguing, eh? I've got more. Ya want some? They're hidden over here. *slowly opens trenchcoat to reveal many pencils of many colors* What's that? You don't want one after all? No, of course that's not a [water] gun in my pocket, my pet rat's just very happy to see you.
I think I rather need to get to sleep before I have any more of these typing delusions. In the meantime, I really want to sleep. And I want to work on my Compy project... if only I knew more card games! But alas, I've resigned myself to writing a game of War already. So very simple, you know. At the moment I feel like a challenge... I guess I'll try to write my Math Methods portfolio piece very neatly... by hand? *shudder* (Incidentally, did I ever write about my nightmare with my math teacher? No, really, it was an overnight dream with a teacher and some other students in it. Sad, really. I was very-very uncomfortable in math class today, I can tell ya that...
My hair used to be stick-straight and it refused to grow even to shoulder length... can you tell now? Absolutely not. (For what it's worth, I think it's absolutely screwed looking right now... but thanks anyway...)
currently listening to: Green Day - Longview
i spiral into oblivion on Monday, November 11, 2002, at 10:54 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
Behold, my sixth archive. Five and before is pretty much all crap, and too many of the entries are simply online quizzes or commands to "go download" this or that song or program. Well, no more. I'm going to put some effort into writing, and maybe someday, I'll get efficient enough at BS-ing ideas that I get higher B's in English. (Or, *gasp*, A's? Never!) In PreCal my teacher told me that Ms what's-her-name (I can't remember how to spell it at the moment) asked to see me at my next opportunity today or tomorrow. Knowing that teachers often have staff meetings on Mondays, I'm postponing seeing her until tomorrow, but I'm dying of suspense. What could be oh-so-important about Math Team that I need to be told of it before our next meet (November 13)? I had a lot of implausible ideas about this for the remainder of math class, but the most probable is that I'm off the A Team for now. Urg... 2 out of 6 on the last meet, or 1 out of 6 if they require me to circle my answers... I hope they're not that picky because if so, my ranking just dropped to absolutely abysmal levels. Absolutely nerve-wracking.
Another resolution I've informally made is to type the html for this 'blog' a bit more neatly... pitas.com provides automatic line-wrap, or whatever it's called, so that I don't have to press
Latest fortune cookie: "You will overcome all fears tomorrow... [IN BED]" Fun fun fun. Well, not really, but it sure beats staring into space. Even though I do enjoy staring into lightbulbs and Staring at the Sun. By the way, if you have a bit of cash to spare, I suggest you pick up An Economy of Errors, which I just bought. It's mad funny, and easier to read on paper than on a computer screen. (This coming from someone who now instinctively taps the
*time passes*
*breaks down into tears*
I don't think I'm usually a very depressed person at all, but almost everyone has an occasional shitty or downing day, where even if the little things don't quite add up to the worst day ever, you can't take it anymore and to anyone around you, you seem to be having a complete emotional / mental breakdown. Well... it's really ugly when someone does so. I've looked in the mirror, trust me... it is. But... what's this? Behold the wonders of technology, I can still talk to people while tears stream down my face and I go through half a box of tissue (bought mainly for my brother's extensive allergies). And unless they're reading this now (and can put 2 and 2 together) they will never know. Aah. I love this thing! *hugs computer* *hugs flatscreen monitor* *hugs scanner* *hugs small twin speakers* Mmm... warm...
currently listening to: Good Charlotte - Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
i spiral into oblivion on Monday, November 11, 2002, at 03:02 p.m... it's never too late to change the past
blogchalk?
This is my blogchalk:
United States, Rockville, RMHS, English, Sharon, Female, 11-15, anime, gaming.
goto?
can't repeat the past?
why of course you can!
(though I must most strongly discourage it)
yi | er | san | si | wu | liu | chi | ba | jiu | shi | shi yi | shi ni | shi san
may answer to?
Sharon, Ronnie, Ron, Ron-Won, Spatula girl, Grill-gurl...
assisted by?
pitas.com
haloscan.com
sitemeter.com
i sold my soul to...
albhed NUCHI
A U R O N I S M
i
want to be... Young Link (Super Smash Bros. Melee).
Frontpage? SCREW IT! Do it yourself!
globe of blogs
<
?
crappyblogs
#
>
«
Obscure Logs
»
<<
Water!
Elements?
>>
stalker's tools?
religious texts?
8-bit theater
megatokyo
userfriendly
penny arcade
life in japan
those kooky people?
is not paid for?
Pretending to be cultured, Notes on "significant" past events, Pretending to be literate, Playing with fire and hydrochloric acid, Attending résumé padders / stuffing face with water, Probing numbers in painful ways, Using computers to probe numbers in less painful ways, Pretending to be bilingual.
addicted to?
Video games, comic books, print periodicals, lemon
fanfics, real books, anime, manga, anything that seems
to run on its own, electricity, fire, electrical fire,
foods with no taste, running on my hamster wheel.
enamoured with?
bright flashing lights, anything relating to Rurouni Kenshin, anything with a sword, anything involving a sword metaphor, wolves, spiders, wolf spiders, things that remotely resemble a computer, things that involve a lot of seemingly mind-boggling text.
frightens?
bugs that move faster than I do, certain creepy hallways, school photos, any sort of photo id, AOL, msn, user-friendly interfaces.
i have yet to save the world of...
Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X, Chrono Trigger, EarthBound, Golden Sun, Tales of Phantasia, Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy VI, Dragon Warrior, Dragon Warrior II, Kingdom Hearts... and many unfortunate others.
may we recommend?
Lord of the Flies by William Golding; Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
Chrono Trigger (SNES), EarthBound (SNES), Final Fantasy VIII (PSX), Final Fantasy X (PS2), Super Smash Bros. Melee (GCN)
Metallica - The Black Album; Green Day - International Superhits; Dance Dance Revolution - 4th Mix
Ocean's Eleven; Peter Pan; Princess Mononoke; The Bourne Identity; The Lion King
guilty as charged?
otaku:
36% corrupt (I would've scored much higher a year ago)
feminist:
91.4% pure
geek:
24% corrupt
mental purity:
63.8% pure
weirdo:
37.1% corrupt
for your reference?
compatibility?
This site should be fairly readable and look nearly identical in MSIE 6.0 and Opera 6.0; no other browsers have been tested, without any real reason besides laziness. What's Opera? Current efforts are being made to make this site WC3 compliant. What's WC3?