Whee...

Woke at 10:30 and left the house an hour later, arrived at school and sort of sat still for half an hour while studying Physics... >.<;;  Took my only exam of the day around noon, 'twas the county pilot of French 3 so it was rather easy.  Thank goodness for cognates though.  And the writing prompts took me nearly an hour (only two prompts!) because I wrote about a page for each one and I spent quite a bit of time staring into space and desperately trying to remember which words I learned this year and which words I learned last year...

Then I came home with full intention of writing my remaining 5 English journals but, uh, it's not happening so far.  Stupid substitute bus driver (unless she's just new, I wouldn't know as I haven't ridden the bus in forever) stopped at the wrong end of my street and I had to walk all the way home uphill in the cold... grr... and of course the last thing I want to do right now is walk some more on the treadmill...

Another issue of Game Informer is here!  With GI and Shonen Jump (and hopefully soon Wired) every month, plus Wall Street Journal and Washington Post every day or so, I'm hopelessly behind.

Oh yeah!  I passed my weekly verb quiz in French (for the first time in over a month...) and I'm proud of myself, even if I did study less for this one than for the other few.  And I got a 12.5/15... that's not just passing, that's a B.  Although I suspect my grade may be something like a tauntingly horrible 79.4%...

I finished my CP2 exam!  I actually finished it and I don't have to go in for the 2-hour period tomorrow morning!  I love this feeling of accomplishment, even if I do think that the exam is ridiculously easy.  And... no, I lost my train of thought.  While I strolled around the school, Meg took good care of my jacket.  And no plans for after school... be back later...

Yay for people like Sam and Kristin [H] who told me the meaning of licentious when I was completely confused after hearing it in English class.  Apparently it was funny that I went "huH?" during class because I didn't know what it meant... well, that's not good, but most of the other people I asked didn't know either, so... umm... take that.

And I stayed after with Drama and did most of my French packet (the vast majority of said work was done during French class) and I didn't feel too horrible after school today even though it felt remarkably like the last day of a school year.  And he asked "How many of you will be joining me next semester for more adventures?" and half of my classmates raised their hands and I wanted to cry or maybe just go change my schedule.

Ostrowski has taught his 3rd and last semester of IB Pre-Calc, he's moved on to Consumer Math... celebrate, all!

Ahh.  For the past five days, I've spent quite a number of hours in each day doing a large homework assignment along with several small ones... I still say my resolution to do more homework and do it more efficiently is a good idea.  And Willa said something similar to it too, right?  Let's stick by them this time.

Another resolution is to make my journal entries at least a little more concise.  Or succinct.  As long as they're not verbose.  (AHHHH--)

Death has never disturbed me but I have never given it much thought before.  And I refuse to even now.  It's something probably best left undealt with, until I can take it seriously.  (Oh, and I'm talking about other people's deaths, don't worry.)

Another resolution is to stop buying comic books so often if I'm just going to leave them on my shelf for several weeks before reading them anyway.  And to regularly study things for It's Ac so that I improve my overall performance and so that I'm never stuck with a week of cramming ever again.  And while I'm at it, I resolve to be nicer to people.  I guess I'm okay at this, but I need to do it more consistently.  And I can't...

*blinks*

No... sorry... I just lost my train of thought... oh, I guess that's another one... get more sleep + get a better attention span.  I mean, even during Period 3 (which I like for many different reasons) I start staring at the walls and reading the posters and daydreaming or listening to music in my head... and... and... did you know that sleep deprivation tends to lower the immune system, lower the metabolic rate, make moods grouchy and irritable, and even reduce concentration on simple things like basic arithmetic?  (No wonder I nearly failed easy Math and Chem related things when I got around 3 hours... sheesh... I don't know how anyone could possibly even stand up on half an hour of sleep...)

Then again (about sleep), there was this one time in 8th grade where I unintentionally went for 2.5 days without sleep, that was really weird... I was very hyper and my voice became higher pitched and I couldn't sit still or stand up very straight.  And even though I liked it, I was sort of tired after the brief sleep (3 hours?) that I got after that.  Well, you know, it is pretty hard to sleep when sitting up in the hard seats of a tour bus.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I couldn't get those words out during Period 3 today and I felt like screaming because of that (but I didn't).  Very maddening.  Should have remembered it.

Ew.  Math methods portfolio piece will earn me a grade well below perfect and AP US notebook didn't ever get done... well, I will do it today and turn it in tomorrow.  Somewhat higher chance of me getting a B now...

Skipped Art class to sleep in today, slipped in somewhat conspicuously to Period 2 with an excused tardy, thanks to a sick note from my mom.  Will go to It's Ac practice after school.  Humza, Laura, Mike... why didn't anyone tell me to stop memorizing the presidents any sooner?  I feel like I'm wasting my own time and neglecting my Suddenly Very Important Exams (SVIE!  Sounds gleeful, doesn't it?)  Very tired, have been working nonstop for four or five days now (probably the first time... well, ever...)  How do IB juniors do it?  I want to sleep...

With the prospect of self-instruction for the AP Computer Science exam, maybe I'll find something else for my Sixth Subject.  Mustn't worry about it quite yet, I have more immediate things... like French orals, eww...

10:09 pm ~ Lab notebook sprung on us, plus must find some obscure set of notes for my AP US notebook or I'm pretty much guaranteed a B for the quarter, I want double A's... I think that's been the main problem with my grades, not really that I can't perform better (when blessed with such lovely teachers and all...) but that I don't feel particularly compelled to... I'm afraid I'll be stuck at the computer, typing homework all day long, non-stop; realistically, the only time I do that is at the end of the quarter if I've been slacking off for weeks on end.  So I must put an end to it.  Screw Gregorian New Year's Resolutions, I'll make yet another set of Beginning of Semester Resolutions... first and foremost, I can't just be disappointed with something below 3.4, I have to want a 3.5 or above... equally important but less concrete, I can't keep spending any of my spare time surfing random web sites or watching whatever happens to be on tv.  I don't even like idle time like that, so why do I do it?  I think it's because I don't specifically want to do something else, so I just don't bother to get up and start something new.  As a replacement for surfing random sites (personal ones in particular), I might... memorize lists for It's Academic, get an early start (whether in the day or week or month) on my various homeworks, take an extra shower just to stand still and not think, play with making web sites and finally learn some JS, practice doing anything with my TI-83 Plus (which I've neglected since 7th grade), practice mental math (which I've almost completely forgotten since 6th grade... I got my calculator in 7th grade and haven't added, subtracted, or done anything mentally since, 'tis a pity since I used to be fairly adept at it)........

The above rambling paragraph-thing is not to be used as a guide as to where my priorities lie... note that I'm not even going to try and give up visiting my friends' pages, since they're important and nice and fun people who I don't always get to see during class; that, and it doesn't take much of my time compared to how long I spend at junk sites.

Another archive is coming due very soon.

Second to turn in both the PreCalc Graph Theory / Game Theory unit test and the CP2 Java Chapter 4 unit test?  I must've done pretty badly on at least one of them, huh?  I may have said that I would aim above my estimated minimum score (to maintain an A) of 10/30, but I didn't say very high above it... laziness reigns supreme!

I'm off to do a French oral exam next; my partner's some freshie who looks somewhat nervous about the test; I'm rather afraid of it mainly because I don't remember which vocabulary words we're going to be using... (that's always a pretty bad thing, isn't it?)

And as for lunchtime today... Ben [J], future filmer of porn tapes...?

I'm excited / obsessed enough about the It's Ac trip that I think everyone I've come in contact with for the past few weeks is thoroughly sick of hearing about it.  So I'll shut up.  Okay?  But you're sure to hear (once I get back) whether we win triumphantly or lose pathetically...

My hands hurt from writing and typing for a great deal of yesterday and today.

9:09 pm ~ How am I doing on my Math Methods portfolio?  Let's just say that I've already resorted to using ctrl + c and ctrl + v a number of times...

*yawn*  How am I tired already?

10:31 pm ~ I'm making minimal progress, perhaps halfway done, but I stop every few seconds to cringe (like the funny 'cringing' thing Willa did when talking about her English SAP Jr... hee hee...) at the comma-related errors littering every paragraph... *glares*

I'm off to Dorman High School in less than two weeks and I must learn Physics AND Nobel prize winners AND all the US Presidents by number, last name, term years, and hopefully birth and death years...

But... but... I must do my Chem lab (anyone in Martioski's class and feeling generous, send me a copy) and study for my French orals so that my freshie partner Jill doesn't fail and study for my PreCal test and possibly re-study for the Java test and be awake the entire day and not fall over.

I finished my AP US textnotes, my Chem lab, my SAP Jr; I read Chapter 4 for Java and I even started on the Left Sides for my AP US notebook.  And despite the Math Methods portfolio piece and PreCal test and Java test and French orals looming on the very, very near horizon, I feel like I could conquer the world.

And uh, I'm not high on anything.  Really.

Well... my mom woke me up at 11-something this morning, but I couldn't seem to stay awake... I woke up at 12:40 and promptly started reading the nearest magazine in an attempt to stay concious (Wired, in this case).  Suddenly (I don't know what time, I lost track of my clock) my mom and my brother whisked me out of the house and led me to the car.  I had no idea where we were going, but it turned out that my brother was meeting his friend at Lakeforest and I was to busy myself in some way during the day.  Excuse me?  I thought I had made it very clear that I must work all weekend nonstop to even break even on my workload and still get too little sleep... well, I guess I didn't.  I went to B&N to browse, but I saw E-Tales Two (I resisted buying it, but it's a great book) and bought four graphic novels... Ultimate Spider-Man Vol.3 and Ultimate X-Men Vol.2 for $14.95 each, and Ultimate Spider-Man Vol.4 and Ultimate X-Men Vol.3 for $17.95 each.  Just because Marvel is practically bankrupt doesn't mean they can charge their loyal customers $3 extra for less than a centimetre more of each page, does it?  Uh... well, I suppose my purchases today prove that they can...

Bonsai Kitten's concept ought to be extended to human infants.

It's Ac was no fun on Tyler's team.  The man is too quick with a buzzer... when we knew answers he'd already buzzed in.

The trip is in two weeks!  EEEEEEE!~

I like reading SAPs (Jr) but I detested doing the actual writing.  No, wait, I liked writing it but it was torturous.  But it was a good torture.  But not in the sick way.

I got some quizzes back during French.  A few A's, a few B's, two E's.  It's becoming very normal.  Depressing, yes, but the B's usually even most things out.

*giggles incessantly at It's Ac team*  I wish practices didn't keep ending at 3:30, I don't want to go home yet!

10:22 pm ~ Glorifying English class while talking to Jess [D]... is that wrong?

I'm pleased with my grades on my Miller play essays... I can't believe I actually improved my grade, if only by one point.  I'm attributing it to coincidence, but I suppose it was a decent essay (for a 40-minute writing session, at least)... except for the last paragraph which really sucked.  And guess what?  This one doesn't tell me anymore that I don't know how to write paragraphs!  Yayyyy!

10:53 pm ~ I don't feel like doing Chem homework so I'll likely fake it again; deep in my mind somewhere, I'm sure my conscience (if I still have one) is screaming and shrieking at me to stop this, but I stopped genuinely caring about Chem a few months ago.  I hate labs because I feel incredible pressure to finish before the bell rings, which sometimes means I don't copy down all the data... writing up the lab report sucks too.  I'm actually... editing my SAP Jr right now.  I'm weird like that.  Actually, I really want this last impression to be a good one... I know that my grade is certainly not going up to an A, but maybe... maybe I can do that for second semester?  Chao was reading my paper during French class (because I insisted) and said, "Hmm... I think I could do Pre-IB English 10 too..."  I mean, really.  My writing's not that horrible.  But that wasn't the implied meaning, of course not!  It was just that I actually write readable text, while IB students have some ill-earned reputation of writing total BS that is incomprehensible to those puny mortal honors students.

I typed a lengthy journal entry approximately 15 minutes ago, but MSN Explorer had the courtesy to freeze and close down before I posted it.  So once again, I must try to recreate everything from memory.  (But I'm losing that memory I once had... argh...)

I don't know for sure why, but I liked the English class we had today... Day 2 of grammar lessons, I've stopped minding these little diversions that dissolve into silliness no matter how hard the teacher tries to keep a straight face.  Featured Ersinism: "He and his books like to be read."  George Carlin said that Religion is a Science class where one suspends all logic and disbelief learned in other classes... yeah, that's pretty much English class.

No matter what I tell myself and what I tell other people, I'm absolutely terrified of the transition to Second Semester.  I cried for the first few days of Second last year, almost inexplicably... I was somewhat disappointed at the change in classmates, some teacher changes, and a general feel of imbalance.  I can't coherently explain it, that's just how I felt at the time.  But this year...?  Art & Culture seriously stresses me out, so I'm glad to be getting out of it.  I should have Digital Art during Period 1 and Computer Programming 2 during Period 7, so I most probably will be beginning and ending every day in front a computer... that's very, very comforting.

Don't take it personally, but I'm worried about Sandy and Lisa being in my English class.  As I said at Math Team today, I don't like being in English class with "people I know".  Actually, that should be "people who know already me".  I'm not really as afraid of saying something stupid in front of my friends as I am disappointed in the dynamics of my current English clas being disturbed.  There is something reassuringly good about the setting that allowed me to volunteer the first discussion comments I've spoken since... well, since First Grade or so.  I don't think I've ever really said anything in English class, and I've even completely ignored my classmates and the teacher in the past, but I've almost completely stopped my daydreaming in that class... and I'm worried that my eyes will just glaze back over.  Sitting in the part of the classroom that actually thinks aloud is good, and being in a class with people I know but can't chat with during class is bad.  I'll only fidget and not say a word, like during Mr Beach's AP US History class right now...

I've just realized that I'm typing and ranting about a school-related concern, and a minor one, at that.  Hey... why are you all looking at me like that?  I'm not carrying bugs for RM, I swear!

That was a surreal moment.

9:35 pm ~ I finished the rough draft of my SAP Jr. for English.  It's 676 words, very neatly within the word limit of 600 to 750.  It's exactly two pages, neatly spaced, and each paragraph is approximately half of one page.  Yes, the conclusion is very weak; yes, the thesis is still vague; yes, the supporting paragraphs could use a little bit more support (in the form of direct quotations) as well as rearranging in terms of sentence order.  Who cares?  I actually finished it on time!

Now to start on my Art journal.  Are you kidding me?  I still have to do this thing?  It's probably going to take me until past midnight to crank out a piece of crap.  Or more specifically, four pages of colorful crap.  *blinks and shakes head confusedly*  I can do this.  I know I can.  I don't really need sleep that badly, do I?  Can't I sleep the number of hours that an IB junior ought to be sleeping?  We puny sophomores are supposedly having it rather easy, but I have a great deal of work due.  At least it isn't like this all the time.

How amusing... me?  Dirty minded?  Never!!

Napalm (10:37:42 PM): what the bloody HELL?
Napalm (10:37:57 PM): I was saying "Now I see why you're having aneurysms about the essay"

Napalm (10:38:33 PM): you sick sick child!
Napalm (10:38:36 PM): That's illegal!
Napalm (10:38:50 PM): It's illegal until you're 18 and ready to combat syphillis!

I'm writing an entry here for the sake of writing an entry during Computer Programming 2.  My Art teacher said today, "Have you thought about what you're going to do for your Sixth Subject?  Have you considered taking Art?" and I thought, "No!" but told her, "Well, I've thought about it, but I'm currently already pursuing a different Sixth Subject . . . Computer Science."  Ugh... I feel half dead and I would have collapsed off of my chair by now if it weren't for this warm, fuzzy (and stretchy) scarf.  Speaking of stretchy, I got 'strangled' by John [K] during lunch (and Meg apologizes for being unable to protect me, as she was "busy" at that particular moment).  Plus, my guidance counselor is plenty sick of me, but I did get switched into Chapman's class for Second semester.  It's likely that I'll get switched out anyway because her class is at maximum capacity now (32 students).  I think it's a testament to how many people desperately need to get out of Martioski's class, but that's maybe it's just me.

Notes to self (homework-wise):

Tuesday: Math Team [practice], It's Academic [practice], write English SAP Jr rough draft, read AMSCO Chapter 17, study French vocabulary, begin Art journal (at least 1 or 2 pages)... more to come once I remember what else there was.

Neko: As your two owners, Meg and I demand a main test method for the Friend class for Java.  Don't forget!!

6:00 pm ~ Tempting to go construct a Geek Code but no, I must do my homework.  Which to physically and violently tackle first, my Art journal or my English SAP Jr?  I'm going to go with English because I have a feeling I will be asking for extra help and I don't want to ask for it the day before the final's due.

Even though no one reading this is coming with me on the SC trip (I think), I'm going to write as if all of you are.  We are going to miss the Super Bowl by driving all day on Sunday... is there any way to fix this?  Either by staying in SC an extra day (nigh impossible), bringing a small, battery powered TV (impractical, as I don't own one) or renting / borrowing a small tv to plug into a car (great, since we've got our free 7-seater van all ready to go).  And my other main issue is that I haven't yet asked my dad about it... or told him much of anything related to what I do after school, for that manner.  (Tame, paper and pencil activities... except for It's Ac, which for all rights should be full-contact...)  The problem is that I'll be gone all weekend, I think I'll ask around Tuesday or something... during exam week is going to be marginally difficult, though.

The Mont. County snipers once hid in the woods that I am going to be sleeping in for 4 nights during this coming Spring Break.

8:08 pm ~ Left alone with my thoughts for far too long, I've been sort of writing my SAP Jr (not very efficiently) and speculating on why It's Ac got cut off early and the coach was suspiciously watching and keeping score instead of reading the questions.  Jeremy [K] isn't bad at reading aloud, per se, but it's not as easy to hear.  Were we being re-evaluated for new team arrangements or something?  Hm...

VillainSupply.com-- because you know you can't take over the world without weapons grade plutonium!  Well, maybe you can, but why would you want to?  This link has been sitting around in my head for the past few weeks.  Link courtesy of Humza, waiting around in the media center after no It's Ac one day.  Well, people, that's what you get for not writing down URLs for me, I suppose.  What are you waiting for?  Go to the site!

2:53 pm ~ *shrieks silently*  How did the past hour fly by so quickly?  I didn't work at all on the essay and the time's gone.  I can't do this, can I?  My GPA is staring at me (hah, like pieces of paper can stare...) and looking very pitiful right now.  Well, not all that pitiful, but enough to get me unwarrantedly harsh comments from ditzy, airheaded hypocrites...

...who also have really bad taste in movies.

Forget it.  I'm just mad at myself and my family right now.  Forget it.

10:39 pm ~ Chem Honors Project is weighing in at an ungodly (by my standards, at least) 891 words.  And that's an actual count, not fudged in the slightest, at least to the best of my knowledge.  It doesn't even include the title or bibliography!

Now that I'm done boasting, I must finish my textnotes, and possibly study for French IC + other quiz, do 4 or more pages in my art journal, and write my 600(?) word English paper on the lovely Edwidge Danticat, young female Haitian who came to the United States and wrote stories about dead babies, and the people who killed them.  I can't wait!!!!

I want to run away...

No public comments on the party last night.  I got confused about what I thought, and uh... no, not a good idea to write that stuff down permanently.

I'm frantically trying to write my Chem essay, and every few sentences I do another word count.  Stupid essay... Chem has no really fun topics so mine (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is really more of a Bio subject, and I have to use the word 'chemical' every few sentences, it sounds sort of stupid.  But I am OCD, even if less severely than when I was younger.  I say it's not significant unless your obsessions take up an hour or more of each day.  Which it used to.  And it's not just perfectionism.  It's a really scary terrifying feeling.

Laura pointed out to me last night that at our current estimates, our SC trip will make us miss the Super Bowl... which we all really watch for the commercials, not the football, but it's still very tragic.  So we're contemplating getting Mr Kazmi and Mr McKenna up very, very early in the morning (how's 4 am sound?) and driving back here very, very quickly.

8:12 pm ~

"I want to talk about is Yoshi.  I've decided that Yoshi is the ultimate lifeform.  Don't be fooled by his(?) cowardly flight at the first sign of pain.  Ignore those stupid boots and the stubby little arms.  Realize this: Yoshi has evolved to the point where his digestive and reproductive functions are entirely devoted to the production of weapons of war.  If I ate an apple and pooped out a grenade, it would be disgusting, but it would also be something like what Yoshi does, in cartoony form.  Just... think about it.  --Dom @ Megatokyo

8:34 pm ~ I went outside and I drew this:

Get it?  I miss Graph Theory in PreCal... that quiz was nice and ridiculous... ahh...

It's here less than a day later, due to semi-popular demand.  Yes... you're obligated to analyze it if you read it.  Analyze it!

The overwhelming emotion is mostly one of panic, with an occasional burst of nostalgia, comfort, and dizziness thrown in.  Whether over a thing, person, or experience, the dizziness is never dizzier than the NOW.  In a perfect world, every moment would be filled with this happy vertigo; but, this is a tragically flawed world with little exception.  And displacing initial doubt, free of regard to convention, the act is equally embarrassing and shocking.  Next, the swirls fade, and reality, flawed in all its wonder, strikes crystally clear; the world does not care as you think it did, but differently; still, it is there.  But this is not enough, when the pedestals are gone and none believe it is ever quite the same.  It is not, because as times flow on, sand and silt is left behind, as abandoned as a protective hen of shadowy delight, disbelieving at the cosmics' shifts and change.  A flicker, a gasp, and it all is returned.

Unchanged from my handwritten version and all.  So that means it's unedited.  I still don't like it...

I'm sorry to anyone who's been unfortunate enough to chat with me in the past one or two days, I've been crabby and I haven't been very good company.  I'm just... afraid for First semester to end.  That, and a general sense of discomfort with the fact that time's still passing so quickly.

I've gone over this and whined about this 10 or 20 times today, but Meg thinks I should blog about it, so that you guys can comment on it, never mind that most of you have already commented in person. My schedule changes have been working out all right... well, half of them. ("Because Meg comments on them and tells Sharon which ones are not working.") I should have consulted with her before making these changes, she says. I don't live in a perfect world, where we all get McKenna, Beach / Seabreeze, Chapman, and Petulante / Wheeler. ("Awono gives pop tests and Johnson shrieks randomly. Not randomly... just, all the time.") I'm taking course selection advice from her now. Very strictly. I must go and trade in Mr Beach for Ms Chapman, and once again, since this world is imperfect (and sometimes sad, like I am now) I can't have McKenna no matter what. *shakes fist at schedule* Change, damn it... I want a perfect world!

Oh yeah. ("We're having far too much fun in Java considering that we're supposed to be working.") And yes, Ben, she'll kill you if you say anything to that.

Man... why don't I just give you the password to my account and you can blog for me?? ("Oh, goody, it would save time!") But... but... I like my blog... (*laughs insanely and makes maniacal hand gestures*)

3:02 pm ~ As I missed the bus (stupid rain!), I am still at RM, and I've written the Friend class for Java, anyone want to give me a test method so that I don't have to write one myself? ...Please?  I'll give you the class that I've written so far... which you are free to correct for me...

6:42 pm ~ Like I already said, I missed the bus... well, right before I'd signed on to post that little offer, I semi-conciously wrote this weird little paragraph that I have now typed up.  I didn't understand it while I was writing it and I still don't think I do... so I thought maybe I could post it here and have you screwy people interpret it for me.  But I'm sort of afraid to post it... you might think it sounds dumb, or something.  So, for the time being, it's called "crap".  Anyone want me to post a piece of "crap" for their reading enjoyment?

6:55 pm ~ Added hyperlinks to teacher names above out of boredom, but in doing so, seriously messed with the readability (in case of future editing necessities) of the code... -_-;

9:50 pm ~ Let's see the reactions of the people...

n2 (7:17:13 PM): this came from missing the bus?
n2 (7:28:24 PM): I think it's the reflection of panic on a soul.

TT (9:47:06 PM): is this a high person?
TT (9:47:15 PM): or the creation of the universe/
TT (9:48:18 PM): well I'm not sure
TT (9:48:23 PM): but those two are my best guesses
TT (9:49:47 PM): you WROTE IT??
TT (9:49:56 PM): and you have no idea what its about??
TT (9:50:23 PM): you just penned words -- whoa
TT (9:50:28 PM): make it a poem and submit it somewhere

N A (9:44:27 PM): It's a little confusing
N A (9:44:29 PM): It skips
N A (9:44:33 PM): Stream of conscious?
N A (9:45:32 PM): Very surreal
N A (9:45:33 PM): uhh...
N A (9:45:38 PM): You like swirly things
N A (9:45:49 PM): And I thought of rock candy when you "crystally"
N A (9:53:38 PM): Tis very visual
N A (9:53:40 PM): I don't know
N A (9:53:44 PM): reminds of Salvador Dali
N A (9:53:48 PM): Things melting
N A (9:53:54 PM): and reality being all woozy and stuff
N A (9:53:56 PM): ...
N A (9:54:02 PM): or it could be an LSD trip
N A (9:54:21 PM): You aren't [makes druggy motions]
N A (9:54:22 PM): right?
N A (9:54:26 PM): [suspicious]

Does this or does this not make you desperately want to read it?  ^_^

Happy Birthday, Wilma!!  ^-^

Please note that today is 01-02-03, and note the Evil Leet equation that I noticed at Megatokyo is "666 + 1337 = 2003"... get it?  Anyway, I think it's time for another of my long, boring, rambling narratives.

Last night, as I tried to fall asleep, I kept wondering what it would feel like to go back to school after what seems like such a long period of time.  I guess it was something like awaiting the first day of the school year, except that this time, I unintentionally stayed awake until 3:30 am.  I woke up at 6:10 am today, ate breakfast and got dressed in a hurry, anxious to find this "K. Hess" that teaches Digital Art, to convince him or her to let me enroll for Second semester.  I got to school, handed out the presents to Lisa [J] and Jessica [Z] (because they did not give me advance notice so I had neglected to buy their presents ahead of time), and rushed off to the computer hallway to figure out where this mysterious teacher was.  She seemed nice enough, and didn't have any reservations about allowing me to enroll in the class (even if I hadn't readily but nervously listed my credentials), so that's a good sign.  I'm mostly happy to get out of Art & Culture, I don't like it at all.  One thing strange about her though, she uses Chief Moose merchandise (remember those fun sniper attacks?) for her tote bag, I suppose that's a tiny bit worrisome.

First period was uneventful, what can I say?  It's the class I'm dropping.  I was mildly sleepy during class, and I'm a bit concerned about how I'm going to be able to finish this circle project before the end of the semester, but... ah well, I can do it.  Second period was AP US History, which was a big discussion about a number of very nice quotes, which I believe are all from the late 1880's:

"A drunkard in the gutter is just where he ought to be... the law of the survival of the fittest was not made by man, and it can not be abrogated by man.  We can only, by interfering with it, produce the survival of the unfittest." --William Graham Sumner

"The law of competition may be sometimes hard for the individual, but it is best for the race, because it ensures the survival of the fittest in every department." --Andrew Carnegie

"The public be damned" and "I can pay ½ of the workers to kill the other half," both by Vanderbilt (spelling?)

Ah, fun with the Libertarian Party during class... silly people preaching capitalism (which I won't share my views on quite yet) and giggling over the "crack baby" example by some person toward the other end of the classroom.  It was all right, considering that it's an interesting topic (a rare occurence) for me to write much Left Side entries on; I filled an entire page with the babble of my classmates.

Third period was Pre-IB English; we discussed what we would do if given a choice between capital punishment and life imprisonment; then, if it were imprisonment for only 15 years, as well as what one might do while in solitary confinement.  Ah, there's a nice, simple topic (and seemingly unrelated to the Short Stories unit) that I might participate on.  And I did; it ended up a bit silly, with the class laughing with that odd sort of nervous / awkward laughter, but my friends insisted that I did get my point across, so it's all right.  I also enjoyed the 15 minute storytime; though, since we had to read the story one by one, it wasn't nearly as fun as McKenna's reading Katherine Anne Porter's "The Rope" to us aloud before Break... I don't know how widely known I've made this so far, but I'm rather bad at reading aloud.  Now, I can do this, but not as fast as most Pre-IB students do, and it feels difficult and awkward.  I don't like reading aloud except on those rare days where I'm satisfied with the pitch of my voice, and just want to hear it a little bit more.  (Today was not one of these days.)  I did okay, but I read so slowly that by the time we reached the end, we read past the bell by about 15 or 30 seconds.  I really like the feel (?) of English class; I'm not sure if it's the class layout, the chi flow of the room (hah... as if I understand any of that!), or just the teacher... *hangs head in vague shame*  Yes, I'd better move on to the next class now...

Fourth period, there's not much to it.  I started to realize that I cannot do anything remotely arithmetic or mathematical on 3 hours of sleep, and Yolanda drew a Kenshin-shaped scar on the back of my left hand.

During lunch, I went to Astronomy Club (someone must remind Lisa [J] sometime to go to this club, she claims that she means to but frequently forgets), where we generally discuss most everything except astronomy; this includes politics.  Nothing of note happened during lunch, except that I didn't get to talk to my guidance counselor, Ms Rossini; I can't believe that there was a line outside her office... ridiculous...

It was very painful, but I survived an entire class period (IB Pre-Calculus) where I did not understand one thing that was going on.  As I look back on my notes now, I can understand most all of the processes, but during class, I was completely clueless.  It's uncomfortable to sit in what is normally one's best class and not get any of the class example problems correct, wondering what on earth happened when the mistake originated in a simple calculation error.  Normally, I know that 0.1 * 0.9 != 0.9, but it seems that today, I didn't.

During Period Six, I surfed the internet (ie: read web comics), helped Meg [H] a little with writing the Date class, and sort of stared into space.  During French class, I took notes sleepily but completed the class practice questions with a higher accuracy than normal... interesting, that I'm better at it when I'm only half alert.  Ah well, I guess it's just a coincidence.

After school, I almost went to talk to Ms Rossini but decided against it for no particular reason.  I went to It's Academic, which makes me feel very stupid on even a normal, fresh day... when I'm completely incapable of arithmetic (and recalling mathematics from AAF last year), it's rather depressing.  Even the questions that were marginally related to the terms a president was in office were difficult to remember, which is also depressing, since I've been trying to memorize them (I've done 1-19, however shakily, and I'm working on 20-30).  It's nice to see Humza [K] and Laura [F] though, since I don't have classes with them.  Wait, do I?  I really can't remember that, either.  After practice ended, I vaguely followed Humza to the English office, and while he talked to Ms Wilchek (on behalf of himself and Laura) about the Shakespeare soliloquy contest, I slipped into the room and took a look at that photo on his desk... awwww, the baby is so remarkably cute.  And Meg, the photo frame is awesome.  Did you... give this present to a teacher... for no occasion?  Perhaps I'm just confused...?

I walked 1.125 miles in a leisurely 24 minutes today, while I (badly) studied the presidents list.  Every day that I don't spend on this list, is a day with the paper glaring menacingly at me, asking me why I'm slacking off and neglecting this important (and "fun") task...

7:41 pm ~ Common Ions, for tomorrow's Chem quiz that I have not yet studied for:

ammonium NH₄⁺¹
bicarbonate HCO₃^-1
carbonate CO₃^-2
hydroxide OH^-1
nitrate NO₃^-1
nitrite NO₂^-1
phosphate PO₄^-3
sulfate SO₄^-2
sulfite SO₃^-2

Happy New Year!

I just had to say that.  Y'know, because it's a new year.  Know what I spent my New Year's Eve doing?  Drinking non-alcoholic champagne (basically is sparkling fruit juice...) and fixing this page so that the formatting's done with div tags instead of font tags, and it's much neater now.  Let me know if it looks fine on your computer or not.  (What's gotten into me... next thing you know, I'll actually be typing all this HTML correctly...)

The person who shall remain unnamed was going to have a sleepover tonight, except that the sleepover would have been co-ed, and various parents objected, so I didn't get to spend New Year's Eve with anyone.  And the various (three) couples kept having to jump apart (un-entangle, as they put it) every time parents came into the basement.  It was not terrifically fun to watch.

2:32 pm ~ Choosing to be Childfree-- because I've never in my life thought having children is a sane choice.

6:44 pm ~ Boomspeed.Com-- because they're currently hosting the images that you see on this page, and because they're nifty.  Note that the verification e-mail took a few hours to arrive, and it doesn't always load fast, but it's okay for a free service.

10:41 pm ~ 100 Most Challenged Books-- would someone be so kind as to explain to me why some of these books are on here?  #4, The Chocolate War, was a very good book, but I suppose it was too explicit for... young children?  #7, Harry Potter books are so innocent, there is no way to justify real connections to Wicca or other witchcraft.  #8, Forever, has nothing explicit.  #9, Bridge to Terabithia, had nothing objectionable.  #12, My Brother Sam is Dead, is just plain boring.  #14, The Giver, is a very nice story about a possible future "utopia"...  #22, A Wrinkle in Time, is totally innocent; it's like Harry Potter, but better.  #51, A Light in the Attic... I actually don't remember this one, but I don't think there was anything wrong with it.  #62, Are You There, God?  It's Me, Margaret was lame but not bad or dirty or anything.  #70, Lord of the Flies... that was a great book!  I hope it's never censored, there is nothing wrong with reading about small people (err, I mean... children) being very violent toward one another.  #99, The Terrorist, was a good book (and not at all traumatic to read for children, I think).  ...I've read some of the other books on the list too, a number of these were for school, but it's getting tedious (and obnoxious?) to list them all...

Ooook... I'm not ready to go back to school.  I just woke up and I actually had a nightmare about a teacher; but, this isn't about any of my teachers.  No, I had a bad dream about... a substitute teacher.  This wasn't a specific sub I've had, just some nasty lady my imagination made up while I was unconcious.  She was subbing for Mme Johnson, and during the dream, she gave me a 1/10 because I didn't manage to show her the completed written page until just after the bell rang...  What can I say?  It was really hard to get across the classroom, because for some reason it was flooded... there are other little details in the dream that you don't need to hear about, but I noted that strangely enough, it wasn't RM's building, it was the shiny ol' TPMS building.  Hmm...

I was just wondering... in Spider-Man, if Peter Parker & company seem to attend a public school in New York City, why on earth do they ride those silly yellow buses?  Students in NYC don't ride school buses as kids elsewhere in the United States tend to, they use public transportation to get to school.

3:16 pm ~ I'm supposed to be at someone's house right now, having fun with people I know from school.  But what's this?  I'm sitting at home, updating.  Yeah, I have serious cell phone / transportation issues.  I guess this is for the best.  I was jittery to the point of collapse.  1) I have not been starving myself (as someone considerately asked me recently)-- why would I want to make myself weak and make it difficult for me to run [away from enemies]?  (Score one for paranoia!)  And 2) I am not afraid of anyone who's going to be there.  I'm just... I don't know, this happened before every party in the past few months.  Can anyone recommend online quizzes for panic / anxiety disorders to calm me down?

9:11 pm ~ I ended up all right, I wasn't shaky and panicked later on.  Though I did jump when I saw Lisa holding a giant knife... (she was cutting the pizza that we made) and it was kinda discouraging to see the light in everyone's eyes when they realized that I'm über-ticklish.  Hey, I was just... caught off-guard, yeah, that's it.  I can actually sit still without flinching if I notice that someone's about to attack me.  Oh, and I did so well in Super Smash Bros.  You know I won.

Hello, how are you all today?  I did something marginally interesting today.  I went to a ski resort (specifically, Ski Liberty), but I didn't actually ski.  And I didn't snowboard, either.  Know what I did for over 2 hours?  Yeah... I walked around in the snow or in the hotel, and watched people amuse themselves at a ski resort.  I don't go people watching much, and today was motivated mostly by PR reasons (Parental Relations).  But, it was an interesting experience.  I didn't realize before visiting today that so many people, who might normally be pushing and shoving and falling over, hopping onto ski lifts very nimbly.  How do these people do this?  It's very difficult stuff, this whole jumping-onto-a-ski-lift-chair business.  I'm also puzzled as to why skis nowadays are getting shorter and narrower.  Supposedly, this allows for better steering.  Personally, I think it's driven mainly want of money by the manufacturers, and very talented marketing.  That's one thing I'm actually considering going into when I'm older; not because I'm good at marketing by any standards, just that it's very intriguing.  (On the contrary, I don't always say the right thing and I usually portray things in a negative light, but I would like to learn how it's done.)

Because you all are so special (and because I'm looking into how to live up to the whole 'narcissism' thing), I've scanned in some baby pictures.  (I'm still mildly paranoid, so I can't scan in pictures that remotely resemble my current appearance.)  Both are located right over here, part of digital thoughts.  Aren't I sooo cute?

8:04 pm ~ At the aforementioned ski resort, I bought a hat; this hat is now posted on the page I indicated a few pixels above.  I like it.

9:33 pm ~ "...I've lost the box that I'm supposed to think outside of..."  You're a testament to why IB is not magnet, congratulations.

This is what I tried to put in my Blogspot thing...

What do you want to know?

...amuse yourself?

one, two, three, four...

Uh, well, it didn't really work out.  I'm frustrated with it and I give up.  I'll stick with Pitas and LiveJournal code for now, but someday, I'm probably going to give in to the endless headaches of user-friendly interfaces and shiny buttons-- I'm going back to Notepad HTML editing.  Bah humbug.

Eric McCormack, hmm?  *does more online searches*

I want this book.

I want to get a high school diploma before I graduate from high school.  What do you think?

George Carlin is a genius, and a very funny man.  I'll have some exerpts from Braindroppings and Napalm and Silly Putty, one of these days.

7:26 pm ~ from George Carlin's Braindroppings, exerpt used without permission...

If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident.  If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence.  But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah!  Then he is the victim of an irony.

11:55 pm ~ Yes, I gave in, here's my LJ.

Ahhh this is revolting... I turned on the tv to ABC, and there is this tv special (some episode of Nightline) about college admissions.  They've got the cameras rolling on people making decisions for these different students.  Noted was this one white woman (associate professor) graded an Asian student very low despite extremely an extremely high GPA / SAT combo, without even trying to justify it ("It's just not there").  What the hell did she think she was doing?  Affirmative action for whites or something?  This wouldn't be certifiably unjust except that without cutting away, the camera had just shown the same people giving much higher marks to other students of other racial backgrounds who had lower grades / SATs, and were not otherwise distinguished in any way.  Oh no, oh no no no.  I don't want to apply to Georgetown University, I don't want to watch Nightline, I'm reluctant to apply to famous universities... how can anyone sit back and accept this sort of subjective acceptance with a docile expression?  Why isn't the United States a meritocracy?  Why can't it be one?

*collapses and cries*

Oh and, by the way, I didn't have a bad day at all.  I ate good Chinese food, my cell phone works well, and I watched Catch Me If You Can.  Yay!  I liked it muchly, though it doesn't have the kick ass soundtrack of Ocean's Eleven (kick ass?  I wouldn't normally say that, but how would you describe it, anyway?)  The main difference is that Ocean's Eleven is a bunch of cocky, arrogant, experienced con artists.  Leo DiCaprio (who I actually don't find attractive, thank you very much) plays a kid who runs away from home, and accidentally stumbles into the world of fraud.  And, well, it goes nicely from there.  I don't want to ruin any of the surprises, but it's hilarious most of the way through, and has a very sweet ending.  Though it's no giveaway to say that he does get caught in the end ("Catch me if you can!".... HA..), it's very nicely done.  The theater was just lovin' Frank Abagnale.  And the boy can act, sort of.  Well, I don't know how good he was, but at least it wasn't glaringly bad.  (In other words, he's definitely better than Keanu Reeves, who by the way is not good looking.)

     Wednesday, 12.25.2002

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd
quiz from Jackie's and Koyel's LJs, just because I was in the mood for quizzes.  It's mildly reassuring to know that I got the same results (the Fifties) in two totally different quizzes.

Uh... right.  People, please notice that I've created another archive.  Ahhh... I'm gonna get something from Min for this, aren't I?  And note that this means this is my 201st entry.  Horrifying, isn't it?  I know I said that the comments were dead, but I feel bad for saying that.  Go ahead and dig around in the archives and leave little comments if you feel compelled to, but I bet you won't.  Now...

Sam... Shagun... if either of you read this (which you most likely will not, so this is really addressed to anyone who knows either of these two people), I tried to send you cards but the e-mails bounced!

*continues to whine about terrible plot developments in Will & Grace (on WB)*

Oh... my mom just called me on my shiny new cell phone to tell me to sleep.  Think I ought to?