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Go here. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Have you ever read a fanfic that was popular and yet really bad? Did you make fun of it with your friends, complain about it in chat, but not dare to say anything about it in public because pissy authors and their friends will send you spam and flames instead of admitting their work isn't perfect? Well, we're not putting up with that anymore. This is a fanfiction review site. It's different from other sites because we're reviewing fic for the readers, and not for the authors. We are not here to give authors compliments or constructive criticism. We're tired of being flamed or accused of being bitches when we try to tell someone their work has problems without giving them five pages of compliments first. So screw the writers. This page is for readers; think of it like a book or movie review page. We're just going to say what we honestly think of fics. And you know what we think? Fanfic writers are often attention- seeking crybabies who can't write, and they need a slap to the fuckin' head. If you have more questions, consult our FAQ. (Note: FAQ is not yet complete.) If you have questions, suggestions, or if you want to insult/flame/congratulate us, you can contact us here. Or sign/read our gbook. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Just a group of fangirls who have a duty. Our ranks grow in number daily! In order to help you figure out why we might have given a fic the review we did, or to assist you in properly flaming/debating with one of us, here are our pseudonyms and bios. REBEL TOY Hates bad grammar, angst, and bad love stories. Loves WAFF, humor, and smut. #1 Fanfic Peeve: men/boys written to act like teenaged girls. LEATHER DADDY I'm always finding the worst fics and purposely inflicting them on myself... and others. XD #1 Fanfic Peeve: Fangirl Japanese. INFO FOR MEMBERS Our various login names: hotmail: slap_us dreambook: bitchslap pitas: ficbitches xtreme: slapslap If you forget your passwords, remember your roots, girls! XD If it's not there, please add your name and short bio to the side, and remember to use it. Remember to archive before writing a review. Archive format is SERIES :: FIC TITLE. (name the html file whatever you want.) This will insure that the site is tidy and sexy. Sankyu!  
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THE "SLAP TO THE HEAD" FAQ! REVIEW 1. Why does this site exist? Would you believe that many of us have commented on certain fics on our personal blogs and/or webpages, and although there are certainly those who agree with us or don't mind us having our own opinions on our own webpages (imagine that!), we've also gotten flamey e-mail and crybaby "this person was mean to me" referrers. One of our members once had an indignant ficcer e-mail her with a huge rant about how it's mean to hurt someone's feelings online... and then was also e-mailed repeatedly by several of this ficcer's friends, who'd been asked by the ficcer to do so. It was annoying. We express our honest opinions and get flames, whining, bad reps, and spam? There are certainly those who appreciate our views, but the annoyance just isn't worth it. That's why you'll notice that very few people will say something provocative on their blogs... they don't want a blogwar. Therefore, in the interest of keeping the common peace, but still expressing ourselves, we've made this site. 2. Isn't it cruel to make a site dedicated to saying mean things about people's fics? Well, firstly, we are reviewing them. Is it mean for sites like this one to honestly review books and in the process, say nasty things about several of them? Is it mean for Mr. Cranky to take every movie that comes out and point out something that's wrong with it? You think Steven Spielburg e-mailed him saying "if you don't have something nice to say then don't say it"? Please. Besides, this site is not about saying mean things -- it's about telling what we percieve to be the truth. This site will be reviewing good and mediocre fics along with bad ones. We're not here to mock authors or fics; we're just reviewing them for other fic readers. 3. How are you qualified to write fic reviews? Well, we're all good at English, we all read a lot in general, we've all read quite a lot of fic, and most of us write fic. If you don't think that's good enough, then what we say shouldn't bother you, because you should never take the rantings of stupid people very seriously. 4. How many people are actually involved here, and can I join your merry band? There's at least 5 participants right now, and more are being invited/considered. We probably won't accept anyone who we don't already know, but you can ask. It really depends on who you are. Why don't you e-mail us and find out? We expect anyone who asks to join to be a good ficcer. If you're not, we'll let you know. 5. Why are you hiding behind false names? You're all cowards who won't stand behind their own words. Refer to question 1. Are we cowards? Yes! We don't like spam and stupid flames. They waste time and inbox space. Are we hiding behind our fake names? You bet your booty! 6. Will you guys beta-read fics? Answer 1: *Maniacal Laughter* Being a bitch is a full-time job. Answer 2: It depends if we're busy at the time. Sometimes someone will beta. Why don't you ask and find out? The worst we can do is say, "No, and I hope you fucking choke on your modem." 6. Where do you get these fics from? Everywhere. The net is a big place. 7. Why is this site on Pitas? Because it makes archiving a list of reviews and doing new ones extremely easy, and it also hosts the stuff for us so we don't have to put it on someone's server and expose them to flames. If you have any questions which aren't answered here, please pose them in our guestbook so we can answer them for the general public. If you're just mad at us because we said you couldn't spell, well, you probably can't. It's not our fault. This slap to the head was administered at 10:44 p.m. on Wednesday, November 28, 2001. |