Again am too tired to write for long.
Anime night was....normal I guess, as in not that great.
Jubei-chan is really really crap in my opinion, oh well.
I came dressed in a business suit, tie and all, as well as white face paint and with the star and drip (like the markings Hisoka has on his face), so I looked kinda weird and got lots of people asking why the hell I was like this, to which I replied "I don't know, I thought it'd be different" and it was.

Also dyed my hair purple earlier, looked like complete shit though, so washed it out.
It makes me worry that the red hair dye will look crap too, thus making Iori my cosplay character rather bad O_o
oh well, we'll see.

(oh yeah, according to Zeb I won a prize because I dressed up weird today, since she said last week that if someone comes dressed up they'd win something, though I completely forgot about that and it's only by major coincidence that I decided to dress up weird today, odd no?)

Sleep time!

gah!
Been so busy with finishing my History booklet today that I haven't had much time for anything else.
And now i'm too tired to really write much.

Anime night tonight, I'm kinda looking forward to it as I can show off the use of some things I went out and bought yesterday (still really today for me), alas several of you won't be coming tonight, right?
ah well, maybe next time then.
I'll still make myself look like a fool tonight (hehe) though, maybe I won't, it depends on how well white clashes with purple.

Anyway, I should sleep, oyasumi.

hehehe, I ask you which is more disturbing, the picture? or the fact that I drew it because I thought it would be fun? ^_^
I really think I screwed up the pic though, the head isn't in proportion with the rest of the body, I'll blame that on the fact that I was so disturbed by the picture as I was drawing it that I didn't pay enough attention ^_^
Which is true, I got freaked out so many times while drawing it, ewwwwwww, it's gross.
But it really was fun to draw, hehe.
See Clara? you should be doing drawings of the boy racers from your fic, it's just so neat ^_^

hmm, the more I see the picture the more I hate it, grrr, crappy picture! I must do a better one!
Though maybe of someone else instead, Ryosuke isn't very interesting to draw.

Anyway, enough about that crap picture *grumble* Here's one I'm more proud of :love:love: I love Hisoka! He's so cool!
I suppose people will start to doubt my sexuality soon O_o
I'm perfectly straight, honest.

Here's Android #17 from DBGT (I wanted to draw him with the overcoat), it's not too bad I suppose.
could be better though.

I drew this one thinking of a guy dreaming of going into space, maybe to some sort of academy or something, and he's looking at a sign, maybe giving directions (?) ^_^

And lastly, after listening to 'spaceman' by Babylon Zoo, I started drawing this odd thing (the scan is pretty bad because the drawing is lightly done in pencil, but it'll have to do, I'm too lazy at the moment), so um, yeah.

That be all from me at the moment, maybe I'll do some more pics tonight, hopefully non-dodgy ones too, hehe.

Okay, I've been doing a little too many of these test things lately, but i wanted to give this Umbra room thing a shot, and this is what I got :

Attitude: You are a cheerful, optimistic person. Emotionally grounded and outwardly friendly, there isn't a soul that wouldn't trade places with you. But there is a dark side. As the sky opens up and unleashes its fury, so does your temper. Luckily, it is tempered with a kind, loving, nurturing soul.

Lover: your love ranges from the passion of beethoven to the intricate beauty of mozart. Your relationship is based on an enduring trust and classical balance that helps you rise to the highest level of understanding and passion.

Style: you are a social magnet, so appearance is obviously key. you rarely shop alone and share your stylistic adventures with friends. an uncluttered image gives the pretense that you spend hours getting ready when, in reality, your natural good looks and social grace are commanding the attention.

Relationships: toiling with transparent glee. revealing a person that covets his/her close friend or loved one. an individual that doesn't necessarily embrace each new person he/she meets, but whose trust and affection must be earned over time. honestly, truthfulness and loyalty are highly regarded.

Problems: Your problems are unique to such a good looking individual. beneath that metallic exterior, you hide all traces of difficulties. you are the essence of cool when you are empty, but the truth of your travails is sometimes smeared on your smiling face much to your humilation.

Future: your future is clearly laid out for you. you attack each day with a no-nonsense business attitude. your cool streamlined demeanor may lead people to think you are aloof, but you prefer to view yourself as eminently practical with a clear warm face that everyone can read easily.


Hey, I think that's pretty close to me! ^_^
these last few tests have been pretty good, which is odd, usually they are fairly off when it comes to the description.
but oh ho ho, these tests me like.

I just watched the uncut, unaired 'Batman Beyond : return of the joker' movie, and it was just amazing!
awesome movie, honestly.
I'm no real fan of the Batman Beyond series, but this had so many ties to the Batman TAS that it felt more like that than Batman beyond.
SOOO COOL!

Now I have to see if I can go round to Joshu's and see if I can watch the Cowboy Bebop movie that he's raving about ^_^

The Joker is the most psychotic villain ever, hurrah for the Joker!

NP: The Superman Lovers - Starlight

Hmm, feels like I haven't done an entry in ages, when in fact it really hasn't been that long.
I really want to change the journal design, but I can't find the picture I need, it's so annoying, oh well.

I thought I'd put up some info things fro a few tests i've been doing lately.
This one is the Kingdomality job/personality test that Edwyn took (he got a sheperd) :

"Your distinct personality, The Dreamer-Minstrel might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You can always see the "Silver Lining" to every dark and dreary cloud. Look at the bright side is your motto and understanding why everything happens for the best is your goal. You are the positive optimist of the world who provides the hope for all humankind. There is nothing so terrible that you can not find some good within it. On the positive side, you are spontaneous, charismatic, idealistic and empathic. On the negative side, you may be a sentimental dreamer who is emotionally impractical. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms."

heh, not too far off the mark there methinks ^_^
Maybe not quite so right with the 'positive optimist' bit, but I'm sometimes like that too, so hmm.

NP: John Farnham - You're the voice

Get this song!!!
I'm sure you've probably heard it on the classic hits radio station before, but can't remember what it is, it's awesome!
Please get it!
I love it to bits!
Play it loud!
*sings to it* sooooo gooooood

anyway, back to the tests thing.
Thinking about it, I don't think I've changed that much since the start of the year.
I keep saying i've changed so much, but that's pretty much a load of crap with an obscure unclear view of things.
I've grown and learnt, but I'm still very me ^_^
Though I still feel very confused about myself in a way, so I've been looking around on the internet and found an interesting site, 'Enneagram : a tool for self knowledge'
Go to the overview of the personality types (each number 1 - 9 is a personality) and see which applies to you.
I think mine is pretty much number 4, also thought i could be slightly number 7, but I think i'm more no.4 than anything else.
I'll copy and paste number 4 here... :

"The Heart Center: Moves towards others - Underdeveloped feeling.
Original Loss: "I was too plain and common."
Problem Emotion: Sadness
Decision: Being unique and special allows you to survive and be loved.
False Claim: "I am not ordinary. I am one of a kind."
Four Adjectives: Intuitive and creative, but self-absorbed and depressive

Self-image: "I am different. I’m not like you."
Compulsion: To be unique and have a special style.
Avoidance: Ordinariness, everyday commonness.
Sin (the thing that gets me off track of trying to become whole): Envy
Gift: To bring out the unique, special qualities of a situation or a person.
Three Wing (means that I'm often/sometimes influenced by my neighbouring numbers): More extroverted, upbeat, ambitious, flamboyant, and image-conscious.
Five Wing (same again): More Introverted, intellectual, idiosyncratic, reserved, and depressed.
Stress Point (what I'm like when I finally crack, i inherit the bad qualities of another number, in this case, it's 2): 2 - Excessive helping, compulsive intrusion, hysterical, and desperate.
Security Point (opposite of above, when I'm in my zone and am better than normal): 1 - Steady, principled action, distinguishes between feelings and values.

Crossing the River (hehe): Uses fancy styles and even does a water ballet.
Affirmation: "I will value each day no matter how ordinary." ."


It's a pretty weird thing, but also pretty cool.
I think it actually gave a fairly accurate description of me, though like i said, I'm practically a 7 too ^_^
It has descriptive words too for a low, medium and high functioning 4, which is pretty cool.

Thinking about what numbers others would have, I'd say Steve is pretty much an 8, Clara a 9, Michael a 5, Finn a 7, Joshu maybe a 3.
EB and Zeb could go in the same numbers as some of the others, but i'm not too sure, hmm O_o

it's interesting really.
I honestly don't know much more about myself than I did before, but it was still nice and semi-helpful nonetheless.

I think I'm feeling happier with myself too now, I made a list of the good and bad qualities of myself and found that i'm not that bad.
It all depends the eye of the beholder of course, but of course as long as u'm happy with myself, then things are cool.
Though I would like to maybe be a bit different so others would maybe like me more or whatever, I'm pretty satisfied with myself.
I just need to aim for the top now and be the best I can be.

Anyway, I'm dead tired, so Oyasumi!
and let me know what you think your number thingee is!

Caught the bus this morning into town, met Finn, got an Air bus to the airport, saw off Steve.

Was good, but I'm very saddened to see no one but me and Finn saw him off *grumble*

Sure it was expensive and it wasn't very long, but it was definitely worth it in my opinion.
If you didn't come see Steve off, then I'm annoyed at you, even if you had to work, you should have skipped the day, simple as that.
I got 5 hours sleep, went out into the cold fresh air, spent $26 on getting to the airport just to see Steve for a few hours before he left, now why couldn't anyone else have done that? O_o

bah, silly people.

Some people really annoy and disgust me.
Generally fucked up teenagers who .....well...are fucked up.

I want you to die

I love my hair!!!!!!!!!
I love it!!!!
I love it so much!!

Bed now, I have a train to catch in the morning!
Oyasumi!

I was going to write an entry last night, but I was too pooped.
Well, yesterday Steve and Joshu came and picked me up at 9am and we went on our 3 - 4 hour drive to Taupo.
Was very long...long......lonnnggggggg...
Sore ass indeed.
It's funny, I've never been anywhere else in New Zealand before.
Only Auckland and Taupo, and this was the 2nd time i've been to taupo btw (first time being when I was 4 or 5)
The scenery on the way down there was great, I never really realised how pretty this country actually is (sure you see nice pictures, but it's different when you see it in RL)
Steve's driving seems a little reckless sometimes, though it never bothered me, was just a funny note, and besides it made the trip more interesting ^_^

(hehe, my mum just called me a 'shithead', amusing ^_^
btw, she didn't mean it seriously)

Anyway, we got to Taupo finally and got stuff to eat.
Looked out at the large lake and the snow peaked mountains in the distance, very cool.
Then we went to where the whole trip was about, bungy jumping.
A very pricey thing to do too, at about $100 it ruled out any chance of me giving it a go and Joshu as well.
But Steve gave it a shot, and unlike the lady before him (who chickened out god knows how many times, and after she paid for it too, silly woman) he just got the stuff on and jumped with no hesitation (of course, it's Steve, what do you expect?).
The kickback was the coolest part of the whole thing though.
Was a bit over priced for something that lasted only about 1 minute, if that.
and there was no screams of cheers or nothing, oh well.

After that we were off back home to familar territory!
hurrah! while I enjoyed the little trip outside Auckland, it felt great to be heading back.
Heard many a good song on Steve's MP3 player, and being the person I am, I wrote down all the names so I could download them once I got home, hehe.

When we got back into Auckland we stopped briefly at Steve's parents place before heading off again to meet fellow members of the AAC at Steve's Chinese takeways (and no, it's a different Steve O_o)
We got there first, but were soon joined by Finn, Nick, Amy, James, EB and Michael.
We all got thickshakes/milkshakes that tasted great, and then went to the top of Mt.Eden to push animals down the hill (or so Joshu would have liked, but we others are not so black-hearted), was a bit too cold though (this time I remembered to bring a jumper) and so we decided to go into the city and play pool.
And that was that basically, everyone said goodbye to Steve (though me and Finn are seeing him off at the airport on thursday, tomorrow).
Nick gave me a ride home (thanks!) in his awesome car (you should practice drifting in some other car, then you can be the ultimate tofu drift guy! ....though nevermind the tofu part O_o;;)
So that was my day, was pooped so no entry last night.

Today I've gone and had my hair straightened, hurrah!
I can do so much more with it now than before ^_^
Sadly I can't have all my hair straightened, only the front.
For the rest of my hair isn't too curly-ish, but isn't straight either, so it's not good to do all the stuff to it, or something.
oh well, it still be good.
But now I have to eat dinner and do school work, so ja na!

Despite the somewhat depressing start to the day, it turned out to be a not so bad day after all.
Spent a fair while at Zeb's looking through my large comic collection (large.....very large ^_^) but ended up talking most of the time anyway.
And I think for the first time in a long time, I felt like the me of old.
Y'know? like, before my life got a bit crazy and stuff..? ^_^
I felt normal, like i was just a normal person, not wearing anything fancy, just a blue t-shirt and jeans......no chain necklace thing either O_o
And since we were just sitting down and talking the full time, I didn't get to bounce around and be silly or hyper like I usually am.
And I'm glad about that, I've begun to think that the whole 'hyperactive enthusiastic' me is what I dislike about myself.
Not sure why that'd be, maybe I just enjoyed the relaxing day and it has nothing to do with me not being hyper.

Of course it now seems people think i'm unhappy if i'm not bouncy, as it just is so unusual for me not to be.
Well like I said before, I'm neither happy or unhappy.
I'm in a completely neutral zone and have been for a while, and I really dislike it.

I think I've grown up a lot lately, so that's pretty good. And I'll try to be ...um... less hyper.
I want to talk to people more than go do anything in particular anyway.
Talking is good.
I miss not being able to talk to some people, when I do get to it's great, but sadly I barely ever do ~_~

Zeb's collection of manga and artbooks is most drool worthy, I swear I'll have just as much one day ^_^

Anyway, I'm off to Taupo (make sure you say it correctly 'toe-paw') tomorrow (well, today) with Steve and Joshu.
So I had better sleep!
Oyasumi!

oh my god, oh my god, I'm feeling very unstable at the moment.
I keep having unhealthy dreams, and they are actually beginning to affect me more and more.
I really don't know what I can do about it anymore.

I think I'll go mad, then probably hurt a few close people to me without intentionally meaning to, thus further screwing up my life and finally in a desperate plea for help, attempt suicide but fail.........and be raving mad for the rest of my life.

Okay, I can't see that happening, but the going mad and hurting people part I can see happening in some ways.
Stupid dreams, why do you do deliberately do this to me?