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Today's theme: drugs. The White House has published its list of drug slang terms. Who among us hasn't had to JUST SAY NO to a smurf? Maybe it's me, or my friends pointing me to these things, or the press outlets I read constantly covering these issues, but there seem to be a lot of essays about weed: Salon on medical marijuana, The Village Voice on the Year in Pot, and the most recent New Yorker (not online) has a personal history of an older dude getting busted by New York City's Finest. I wonder if anything will come about from all the press? Probably not. (Thanks for the Voice thing, Deb) There's a car that is powered by hemp. And that concludes our theme for today. Doogie, check this out, it's so you! I think freedom of expression is the most important right that we as Americans have. This includes the right of pathetic guys to publish wack pictures of his nightclub buddies, nasty sex party pictures from New Years, also really weird pics of old girlfriends. This guy himself confesses that he doesn't know why he has put these up. Look at this cutie! My nephew and his cheeks. So yesterday I got Libby on IM, and she pointed me to the webcam that sits in her office. Choose "wireless webcam." I was looking at her and chatting with her at the same time, which was totally hilarious, since she indulged me and gave the camera the finger. You must have Netscape to see this. Check out the Museum of Questionable Medical Devices - pretty freaky stuff. Can you imagine having your foot X-rayed every time you went to buy new shoes, just to see if they fit? This could be the most boring page on the Internet: The History of the Minnesota Highway Patrol. Enjoy! Aren't you glad I find these things for you? Didn't George Carlin say something about all the people who are against pornography are people who you wouldn't want to have sex with anyway? Whatcha doin, POO POO? (No link, just funny. Thanks Doc) I just realized that I know TWO Docs. One is Duane's dad, and the other is Libby's husband... The cult cartoon Space Ghost was a great, great thing. The basic plot was that celebrities would come on the show, and Space Ghost would interview them, but they would mostly be ignored or ridiculed. The show hasn't had a new episode since December 1999, but you can still see choice bits: Beck, Lassie and Michael Stipe, and The Ramones. I am very bored at work today. It's 2:30, and I'm going to write more since I am so very bored. I wish I could listen to mp3s here, like I could when I was at Forbes.com, but there is no way. I have downloaded many mp3s here anyway, just because there is a fast connection, and I can listen to them very quietly if I'm careful. I am very grateful that I am temping at this job. There is no way that I would ever want to be permanently employed here. The people here think that they are very smart, which is quite annoying. Temp tidbit: most people who now know me here think I am very weird because I refill a liter size Poland Spring bottle. There is a fridge full of the smaller Poland Springs, and they are free. But I walk to the sink and refill my empty bottle. I've had the same bottle for two months. I have to hide it when I leave at night, otherwise the cleaning crew will throw it away. I think it's bad enough that I order in food and create all this garbage with packaging and plastic forks and etc. But to them I am very weird. Also, the women in the bathroom use about 5 feet of toilet paper and 4 paper towels each. Sometime the internet is capable of true greatness. If you put the phrase "dumb motherfucker" into Google, as shown here, you will see that some brilliant hacker has done some kind of wonderful to the George W. Bush Store. Beautiful! (Thank you so much, Nuno!) I'm home sick today, and also playing Housewife - I made pancakes for breakfast, cleaned the bathroom, and now I'm tripping out on the Teletubbies. They are so weird. Eagles and owls, bluebirds and falcons. Follow caribou around as they migrate. Watch the pandas at the San Diego Zoo. And for you insect fans: bees, ants, and butterflies! Happy Chinese New Year! It's the Year of the Snake. Google has dressed up appropriately today, too. (Thanks Duane, ya big sweetie) Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper is not just an accessory, it's a necessity. An American living in Japan notices and documents the continuous torture of the English language into what he calls Japanese Engrish. Another cool way to play with GPS - find the places where latitude and longitude intersect, photograph them, and send them to The Degree Confluence Project. Check it out - I'm famous! Hey! Duane's dad took the picture that's on the cover of Bioscience Magazine! Check out the credit at the bottom of the page. There IS a bowling alley at the Port Authority! I knew I had heard something about it. Here's a great pic of a Jewfro! (Thanks Nuno) Feeling a little sick these days? Could it be the fermented beaver you ate? Here's an interview with Mike Gordon about Outside Out. Another take on the Tempation Island show: Addiction Island. Thanks to Doc and Libby, who hosted a great hangout, and also to Jennifer Eramo, who provided the evening's entertainment. Go see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Right now. And call me before you go - I'll see it again with you. The newest brainchild from the Parker/Stone genius duo is called That's My Bush! Looks very promising, but the twin daughters won't be partaking of any lesbian action, which is a shame. Did you ever go to the Goodwill or Salvation Army, and look at the homemade art they have for sale, and get kind of interested in it but really repelled at the same time? No? Well, here's your opportunity. Try the The Louis Farrakhan African Name Generator. My name is Cinque. Inspired by Joshua's dream, I tried to search for pages with pictures of Jewfros, but I didn't really find anything. However, I did find an interesting essay about a Kofro. Pre-moistened toilet paper will hit the grocery shelves soon, for $8.99. Do we really need this? (Thanks Grampa) Happy thousand pageviews! Brad: The Game is a choose-your-own-adventure type thing, but much stranger, and with incest. I am so glad that Art Garfunkel provides the list of the books he's read over the last 30 years. You will be glad, too. Last night, of course we watched the 100 Greatest Albums countdown. The creepiest part was Garfunkel talking about how sexy Prince is. Ugh. Please don't talk about sex, Art. Guys! Do you long for a magazine that will insult your intelligence, on par with Cosmo and Glamour? Stop waiting. Do you think it hurts to get beheaded? The current phase of the moon, brought to you by Java. Wendy told me there was an earthquake yesterday, but I didn't believe her. Maybe it's because it was a 2.4. My job has me working on this huge project, so updates these days may be less in quality and quantity than usual. Check out this group dedicated to looking at remnants of New York City's past, still visible - Forgotten NY. (Thanks Duane) This article from the Washington Post about libraries has a smarmy tone that I could have done without. Libraries will have to censor the internet or lose government funding. Read more about it here. When in Milwaukee, don't give condoms to your kids! So on the TV I saw an commercial for a show where young couples are brought to a tropical island and then seduced away from their mates by gorgeous singles who have been planted there for this purpose. We have two improved versions of this show: LATE BREAKING NEWS: Duane's coworker found out what Ginger is! Make sure you look at a few of the different pages of this patent request, with all the different diagrams. (Thanks Anil) What do you think Ginger is? Could be anything - a new public toilet (be still my beating heart!) perhaps? Memepool had the bright idea of searching patents, and here's what I turned up. So, it may be some sort of personal transportation device. Someone please help out this Phish phan! Also from Modern Humorist: Life, rated by Zagat's, and the best 404 Error page I've seen in a while. If you didn't see the video that President Clinton made for the White House Correspondents Dinner, you can watch it here. It's very funny! It's almost time for the Naked Festival. The Smoking Gun presents a wedding video in which George W. Bush drunkenly insults the happy couple. It's a gem. Emode is your one-stop-shop for silly and inane personality tests. What did I learn? My ideal partner's type is GOOFBALL, my flavor is PAPAYA, my celebrity lover is HARRISON FORD, and my perfect workout is HIKING AND WALKING. I am now so enlightened. Extreme scooters: the Diggler. Tim Burton, the director of Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas, has created a webtoon, called Stainboy. Last night, after work, Duane and I went to the dry cleaners to pick up his shirts. We chatted with the nice woman who runs the place with her husband, as usual. Then she asked us if were going home directly. We said yes, and she gave us a bottle in a bag that said "Cheers!" and she wished us a happy new year. It was a bottle of the new beaujolais wine. How cool is that? We giggled all the way home. Sometimes living in this city is great. We should have looked at this site before our New Years party: What to Feed Your Vegetarian Friends. When your Palm Pilot dies, are you doomed? This is why I use an organizer that's made of paper. No batteries and no crashes. The oddest voyueristic site I've seen in a while is what these death row inmates in Texas requested as their last meals. I can't believe I read the whole thing. More crappy photos that might be art. Find weirdness at the Inexplicable Object of the Week. Find more and different weirdness at Divine Interventions. (Thanks Bobby) Happy Birthday to Mr. Shuffle! Is bland, enriched Wonder Bread the fault of Protestants? The Onion article, "Black Guy Photoshopped In" was based in truth! This actually happened! The creators of Stinkymeat graduated from Harvard. Witness other brilliance: Stinkyfeet and Stinkymeat 2. Listen, if you're gonna build a giant snow penis, try not to do it right next to a preschool. Another McSweeneys gem: God and Jesus chat using Instant Messenger. I can't resist Marlys. Plus, Lynda Barry likes Beck. Finally found something to do about the Alaska drilling question besides rant and rave - I called Prez Clinton at 202-456-1111 and told him to please make the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge a national monument. What a thrill! Read more about this at Backpacker. I forgot to tell my new dumb blonde joke: What do you get when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence. Late news: I just found out that my sister is friends with the infamous Girl with the Long Brown Hair from that New Yorker article (Nov 27, 2000) about the guy who has the fake job at a nameless dot-com company. The nameless company turns out to be Luminant. So yesterday I got back in touch with a really good friend. We went to junior high together, and we periodically will call or write, and he's just the best. He told me that a schoolmate of ours, Rob, is now the senior editor of the awesome funnypaper The Onion, as well as featured in People Magazine as One of the Most Eligible Bachelors of 2000. So crazy! (Thanks Benji) Testers of cornflakes and potato snacks may soon be superseded by a "crunchmeter" that uses fractal geometry to gauge their crispiness. So, Dubya Bush has appointed a jerk to head the Department of the Interior. This sucks because she tried for years to open up Alaska's wilderness for drilling, and now she will be in charge of the National Park Service and the Bureau of Land Management. Bush says that he wants to "conserve our lands and resources" but I DON'T TRUST IT. The Henry Miller Library must have some hard books. Happy New Year everyone! We had a most excellent and relaxing time, wearing pajamas for about 24 hours straight. Good food and drink, very decadent all in all. On Friday night, we went to see the Disco Biscuits, a band that many Phish fans are now relying on to provide the live experience they crave. They were a lot of fun. Then, we went to the Hip-Hop Nation exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. It was great! It closed on Sunday, though, so if you missed it, too bad. My favorite thing was Missy Elliot's inflatable suit from Supa Dupa Fly. The Postal Service is raising the price of stamps again, going into effect on Jan 7th. You can read more about it here. (Thanks Duane) Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey will be rereleased soon. Why didn't they do this sooner? Want to start your own internet radio station? You can. I'm reading over job sites for librarians, and it always seems like the jobs that are the most fun, like jobs at public libraries and universities, pay the least. The jobs that pay the most are at law firms and investment banks, and these jobs are very boring and repetitive. So, I predict the future of my career: I will progress to the most interesting jobs, and make less and less money, until I earn only 5 cents a year. That must be library nirvana. Want to see for yourself? Take a look - LISjobs, ARL, ALA, Library Journal, LibJobs, and Sarah Nesbitt's site. |
