|
Hey, dude, you've got some schmutz on your forehead, oh wait, happy Ash Wednesday. So the other night I took out an old diary of mine from 1990 and 1991. While reading it, I was amazed at how unhappy and boring I sounded. I must have been a true pain in the ass to hang out with during this time. Most of the entries are complaints about the dork I was dating. The rest are transcriptions of dreams (not the idealistic, goal-setting type, but rather the kind you have when you are asleep). These entries were neat to think about at the time, but very dull to read later. Reading the diary taught me a few things: write all the time, not only when I am sad or upset, and write about the interesting parts of life too. My sincere apologies to those who were hanging out with me then, and my thanks to those who are hanging out with me still. So there's a song by Beck, called Thunderpeel. The official website has two sets of lyrics for this song. About a year ago, Duane and Joshua had a very intellectual discussion about this song, via email. Here it is, in part: Duane: Joshua: Duane: There was more, but I think that's enough for today. Now that the word is out, I can say it - ERAMO! ERAMO! ERAMO! Three cheers! It was my grampa's birthday on Sunday, and of course, like a doofus, I forgot about it. So we called him last night and sang to him. He's now 82. Send him a happy birthday note. On March 10th, we are going to see Karl Denson's Tiny Universe at Irving Plaza. Should be amazing. Very silly short animation of Spock. Quicktime needed. (Thanks Tom) Did this guy really eat his underwear? Or is it just urban legend? (Thanks Dad) What is the deal with this? I don't think you could understand it even if you did know Japanese. My work is so boring these days that my weekly schedule kind of depends on the web. I actually look forward to these features: on Tuesdays, there is the new Mr. Blue. On Wednesdays, The Onion. And on Thursdays, it's Savage Love. Pathetic, ain't it? Duane bought us a CD of breathing exercises by Dr. Weil, so I decided to bring it on the subway this morning and try to make my commute a little more pleasant. Breathing in, breathing out, holding the breath, concentrating on the breath. Very peaceful, until the guy next to me started lobbing enormous fart bombs into the air. Ah, the fresh scent of the New York City subway. We watched David Lynch's Dune last night. The soundtrack was mostly composed by the 80s band Toto. This should tell you something about the film. Two very good essays about it: what went wrong and what went right. One of the neatest things about it is that little Alia is played by a 7 year old Alicia Witt. I still love Lynch. He's the master of the freaky and the beautiful. I am crazy for Bollywood films. On Saturday mornings, Channel 76 in Brooklyn features short music video excerpts from the full-length feature films. They are wonderful. Joshua told me about this article from the NY Times, which describes the huge scandal going on in the Bombay film industry. There's a new movie coming out, American Desi, which describes itself as "a fun-loving romantic comedy reminiscent of the great teen films of the eighties like 16 Candles and Pretty in Pink, mixed with the fresh hip-hop style of House Party with a uniquely Indian flavor." I will see this movie, especially since it features two songs from the Ithaca funk band Brother Meat, who you might remember from appearances at the TAZ in Binghamton. If it's not cold enough for you, you can go stay at the Ice Hotel in Sweden. Here's a really sad story: remember that actress in Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke who snorted Ajax and did all those funny faces? She's now an addict and homeless on the streets of LA. Cell phones are becoming capable of functions that you would never think of, like keeping track of your ovulation cycle. Temp tidbit: Most people here talk about television and celebrities all day long. Two new personality tests: America's Cheese Profiler and what your chocolate preference says about you. I don't really eat cheese anymore, but I'm still an Adventure Seeker, and as for the chocs, it's none of your business. Suck lists Men to Avoid. Like all Suck stuff, this will elicit small chuckles, not huge guffaws. What do celebrities order to eat when backstage? The Smoking Gun, king of the FOIA request, finds out. And Jesus spoketh: Take, eat; this is my body. Hi Monkey! is such a cute site. Follow Monkey around as he has his little adventures, cooks up some hot cocoa, and celebrates the holidays. Some of the stories are a little long, so you may want to have a snack handy, just in case you get hungry. See what the Amazing Poetry Generator does with FavaBean. Are you missing that slick trenchcoat you need to round out your action figure's wardrobe? What about a cute hoodie? Find all your dolls' essential adventure basics at this bizarre site. And try not to get a cellphone stuck up your butt! Strange, but true - a tour of the missile bases of New Jersey. And on a personal note: we are trying to sell the big tent that we bought in August. I've put up an advertisement on this used-gear site. You can also take a look at it on Eureka's website. If you're interested, please send me a note! Thanks to Liza, we now have the inside scoop on the Hatten ar Din site. It turns out that there is a small production company in Sweden who listen to Turkish pop songs and translates them into what they think they mean, since the Turkish words sound like Swedish. So these people have created this animation to go along with it, resulting in great hilarity or mass confusion, or both. Liza, always gracious and generous, has translated the Swedish subtitles for us! You should print them out and read along to the music. The hat is yours Thank you Liza! And today I introduce to you: my friends. A 47-year-old divorced man who lives in Tampa, Florida thinks he's Peter Pan. Check out his Fashion Page, too. (Thanks Lena) My ex-boyfriend from Boston is going to be performing at the Grammy awards on Wednesday night! Look for Nathaniel in the percussion section during Madonna's live number. Rey's birthday is today, Wendy's is tomorrow - happy birthday, both of you! And, as an added bonus, Rey and Nuno are quitting smoking today! Woo hoo! Hanging out with you will be so much nicer now. GORP now has this great Video Gallery with short films that are really neat. Check out the Mount St. Helens eruption - I can't link to it because it's a java thingy, but it's the 5th item on the left side. I was the kickass champion of Turbo in 1983... All your base are now belong to us, the music video. It's great. (Thanks Lena) I had the best Valentine's Day ever yesterday. My gift from Duane: a writing seminar taught by Lynda Barry. I am so thrilled to meet her and to have the chance to learn from her! Duane also made dinner: an awesome pizza, the best. Thank you so much, husband! Whattaguy. Here's a pretty cool prank - hang a VW Beetle off the Golden Gate Bridge and not get caught. Your assignment: figure out how they did it. Craving slack? Check this out. David Lynch's horoscope: Mommy! More on toilets: here's a guide to the Toilets of Tokyo. The real question here is, why would anyone spend so much time and effort documenting this sort of thing? (Thanks sweetie) LATE ADDITION: I love it when the Cruel Site of the Day features something a day or two after I've posted it here!! Late for work again! I was too busy dancing with my husband to Leo Kottke. Happy Valentines Day, sweetie. Liza, can you help us figure this out? (Thanks Tom) Speaking at Yale, George Carlin said that you only need Two Commandments: "First, though shalt always be honest and true to the source of thy nookie. Second, though shalt try real hard not to kill anyone unless, of course, they deserve it." More pictures of neat art cars. My sister Wendy needs a job. If you see anything that looks interesting, or if your company needs an Event Planner, let her know. Or you can just drop her a line to say hi, and cheer her up. She's unemployed, and a little down these days. You can also send her some money. That would certainly make her day. Another good reason to go vegetarian. Ah, here's my dream job. Cthulu, where are you? Oy vey. You don't need to know Japanese to figure out that this guy is pretty lonely. Let's go to a nude beach this summer! Joshua's description of the beach he went to in France has inspired me. This guy's page has been shown as a referring page to FavaBean. Check it out - it's pretty weird. If you can find any trace of anything that would lead someone from that page to this page, let me know. I found this collage-like page that sums up Ween's trip to Tokyo. Did you know that the Western style toilet is a symbol of mental slavery? I bet you didn't. And here is a history of Asian toilets. And yet another icky email from WGTjr5811@aol.com: This guy is unbelievable! I'm going to write him back today - it's enough. So today I did the unthinkable to try and kick this damn cold/flu/strep/whatever it is - after lunch I sliced a small piece of raw garlic, and held it in my mouth for about 15 minutes. Then I chewed it up and swallowed it. Duane has been running away from me, but I do feel much better. This morning my throat was hurting more than I've ever experienced, but it's pretty good now; at least it doesn't hurt to swallow. I feel better! But I reek. I think the trade-off is worth it. (THANK YOU LIBBY) I have received yet another email from the WGTjr5811@aol.com dude! The saga continues: Just amazing. If you email this guy, please let me know - I'd love to post your notes or his responses. I might email him myself pretty soon. I'll keep you posted. I called in sick today; writing this in my pajamas. So the WGTjr5811@aol.com dude wrote to me again: Please call him and taunt him for giving out his information so readily. And now, if you haven't seen an unguardedly narcissistic display yet this week, here's my ex-coworker from Forbes. To be honest, I barely knew him, because his manner and appearance led me to believe that he was in his mid- to late-forties, even though I found out later that he is about 30 years old. He's another one who gives out his personal info so easily. If someone wanted to stalk him, this page is pretty much a how-to guide.(Thanks Adam)
Oh I am feeling so crappy today. Body aches, sore throat, generally run down. Crap. This is especially bad because there are so many good things going on right now in my life that I want to celebrate! We have a new car, which we bought to go on this 3-month odyssey. We are going to see so many beautiful places. And our friends are meeting us in Alaska for a week. I'm trying to get my sister and her boyfriend to meet us as well. Duane's sister just wrote to me to tell me how cute her little boy is, which is very obvious to me. I love music more than ever. I think about the small mountain in Fairbanks where we jumped around on the blueberry bushes, and how we are going back there soon, and I get very emotional! There is so much going on! And I just want to go to bed today, all day. I sent Planned Parenthood $25 for their President's Day campaign, online - it was really easy: scroll down a bit on this page and click on the red and blue logo. Simple and very gratifying. Wanna see an email that someone sent to me by mistake? It looks like this guy is cyber-cheating on his spouse:
What is the deal with that? If you suffer from headaches, toothaches, or nervous tension, please remember to wear your Pyradome. Check out Blythe, the weird doll with the too-big head. She's somehow really neat. (Thanks Doonie) The Chicago Priesthood is now recruiting online. (Thanks Randi) This sad British guy has documented every beer he's drunk since 1988. Keep setting those goals higher and higher! I've been finding interesting Phish things, and I've been saving them up for a big dump. There is a Phishbill from the Halloween show when they did Velvet Underground's Loaded, and an advertisement for Gordeaux. An older interview with Trey, and a chat between the guys and David Byrne. Try the Poppin Panther by clicking on the box on the right. It's fun! (Thanks Mike) This couple from California has figured it all out - Extreme Telecommuting. I want to be them. (Thanks Libs) So we are the proud owners of a 1998 Jeep Cherokee Sport! I have to say that the place that we bought it from, imotors, did a great job and the whole process was smooth sailing. We have named the car Uriah Jeep, and we are deciding on stickers and other things to adorn it with. It was a very weird feeling to just leave the Honda there, handing over the title and keys, and drive away in another car. Bye little car! We clocked lots of great miles in it. Meanwhile, the Jeep really roars when you step on the gas! Six cylinders, what a difference. Uriah Jeep is the symbol of our Big Trip, which is becoming more and more of a reality. We are going to see Les Claypool and Galactic at Roseland on Feb 16th! Pretty neat Vermont postcards. Happy Groundhog Day. What a dumb holiday. Awesome slack: SuperBad. I got a kick out of this - Cat-Scan. Put your cat on the scanner, and then send in the image. The Hate Mail is also entertaining. Apparently someone in Kentucky used a $200 bill with Dubya Bush's face on it to pay for a Dairy Queen shake. The bill also features the White House Lawn with a sign that says "We like broccoli." (Thanks Richard) Happy February. I found this basic personality test: What Beatle Are You? But I totally disagree with the treatment of George. Poppy Z. Brite has her own interpretation. This page is called Rectal Foreign Bodies. I don't think any more explanation is needed. It's been around for a long time, so if you've seen it before (you disgusting perv) then just skip it. This is wonderful - The Simulator. Take the time and check this out. You won't be disappointed. |
