BrokenArmsBruisedHeart\\x

x/Chapter1-LetsMakeThisLastForever

s0 tmr is the 19/10/04. l0ls.

13/10
met up with darlingg! l0ls. first date.(okay people,lets listen to Blink182-first date) s0 that day, i w0re my fav tee and jeans&bag. the pink starry2 tee and the Lyn copyrighted jeans. l0lx. promised t0 meet ad 5. but i tink i reached 5++. s0rry! went t0 the t0ilet t0 check h0w i lo0k. den g0 t0 the pharmacy t0 buy my mentos.waited beside the sign, reading newspaper. leg is hurting and the guy in black across is making me wait f0r him. l0lx. (y0u n0e hu u are!) den he came up t0 me..and evrything was 0key. went t0 LJS t0 eat. he's bad th0ugh. dinch wait f0r me. i wanted t0 cr0ss with0ut the traffic light but MR.NICE GUY dun want t0 break the law..s0, whud the hell. lo0k him eat..i dinch c0s my taste buds aint w0rking. and i c0uldnt see cars fr0m inside the LJ.. s0 i just watched him eat and gazed. s0 after that went t0 esp..sat ad the riverside. wanted t0 walk t0 merli0n but lazyy.den went int0 city link mall. s0 and s0 we went t0 suntec. l0ng walk sey and im s0 tired walking dere. and we sat near the f0untain. i knew he w0uldnt d0 such things t0 me s0 i laid my head on my knees, sleeping. l0ls.enj0ying the bg s0ng th0. to0k a few quick lo0ks ad him.. he wasnt lo0king, s0 whud the hell. i made my 0wn business. cant help myself fr0m smiling when i lo0k ad his face. he g0t up, his back hurts. i wanted t0 take a LOOK. but lifted up his shirt.. decided n0t t0. trying t0 respect him a lil. l0lsx. aye, im talking about respect!! hurhurhur. sat d0wn real cl0se beside him. and my stomach is all butterflies and my heartbeat is s0 fast. l0lsx. s0 shy seh. den 0key ledy, went t0 LJ c0s i wanted t0 eat. MR.NICE GUY treat me. hehs. cant taste a thing s0 i play2 with the meal. after that darlingg sent me till pasir ris. wo0t. s0 nice 0f him. and the next m0ment i knew.. im in the bus al0ne, heading f0r h0me.. x( thats s0 sad!!
and yestie we talked ab0ut whud might lies ahead 0f us. it was rili nice, trying t0 build a life with ur special s0meone. t0ld him that i want him t0 be the last and lasting. x) tired 0f falling in and 0ut of l0rve. it just sucks. and i said that with thinking. i said that, and i MEANT it al0t.but just like him, i just want t0 let this relationship take it course and c0mes whud may. just let it grow..grow old. =)
enuff said.
end here~
{astoria*grrl}
<3sH I M.alott

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Monday, October 18, 2004 02:56 p.m.

x/Greetings!

Happy 15th Birthday Shikin!! Lo0k hu just turned 15. and Im styll waiting f0r my turn.l0ls. Nj0y switie! -Lynnie

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Monday, October 18, 2004 12:29 p.m.

x/INeverWantToLetGo

al0r.
its me Lynnie p0sting.
wo0t. maysze is having s0me pr0blems back h0me.
and if i were her,it w0uld os0 be a sudden bl0w f0r me.
but i h0pe she w0uld adapt t0 that kinda life quick and just live with it.
wellie,i went t0 darlingg bl0g just n0w and it was 0h-s0-shuweet!!
g0sh.i nvr th0t he w0uld be THAT sweet!
l0ls.s0rry f0r underestimating u!
but h0nestly the recent p0st is rili sweet and t0uching till i cried!
0h yea,f0und 0ut this m0rning i cant fast and that sucks like hell.
i 0ready w0ke up this m0rning t0 eat and next m0ment,i cant fast.
whudever shitt0 yeah.
i really dunn0 whud t0 p0st n0w c0s my heart have just melted and my mind is sumwher else.
maybe i just p0st a st0ry ab0ut us during my next p0st.
that is, by t0day and it w0uld be c0mpulsary f0r me t0 d0 s0!
s0 t0day guess im g0ing t0 talk ab0ut my class! wo0t. i miss them a wh0le buncha!
wished t0 be in scho0l n0w and ged s0me craps 0utta them.
furstly..whud i miss m0st ab0ut class is MADHAN! l0ls. i miss sitting with him. i miss bitching with him. i miss taping his hairy arms and pull it off. i miss colouring him with my markers. i miss irritating him and see that irritated lo0k on his face. l0ls.
sec0ndly..i miss j0hn's stupid j0kes. l0ls. strictly j0hn stupid j0kes and n0t a bit m0re. i dun miss the pers0n. i miss his laugh th0.
thirdly..i miss h0w the wh0le class w0uld disturb Fauzee and make him cry! l0ls. we're the meanest class. hehs.
f0rthly..i miss Munirah's c0ntagi0us laugh. and Lisa to0..Lisa's j0kes and all. her sarcasm. g0wd.
fifth..i miss the TBM! l0ls! hayyan's blurr lo0k..fitri pathetic lo0k and heykal..wellie, i dunn0 ab0ut him but i yet t0 ged my Yell0wcard cd back! gee.
sixth..i miss MRS CHEW! h0wever much i hate her s0metymes f0r being s0..mathematical. but she is styll the best tcher everr. 0nly g0wd n0es whuds in her mind. maths maths maths maths. she w0uld rili like it if maths is the 0nly subject in the w0rld.
seventh..i miss Nat chubby face. i miss disterbing her sumtymes and irritating her with "Nat...Nat". arr..she w0uld n0e whud i mean; like every sentence i say there w0uld be her name and l0ads of it!
eighth..i miss Maysze! l0ls. that stupid ahlian.
ninth..i miss hafiz and raymie j0kes. l0ls. their cuteness and stupidity. l0ls. r0cks the class.
tenth..i miss..err, huever names n0t mentioned. but i rili miss asking Shazzy questi0ns and lo0king ad her scribblings. l0ls.
but it all d0esnt matter c0s im g0ing back t0 sch this Weddy! ho0ray!
the only thing that matters w0uld be..
I MISS MY DARLINGG!! g0wd.
perhaps i c0uld 0nly see him 0n wednesday.
s0 long sey! aiy0. why are we s0 far fr0m each 0ther physically but s0 near em0tionally??
and THAT.
crunks me up t0tally and make me w0nder.
l0ls.whud the hell im talking. d0esnt matter.

i miss my darling.
i miss sitting ad the f0untain with him.
i miss sitting ad esplanade with him.
i miss his cutesy face.
i miss the way he w0uld leave me behind when we g0 out t0gether!
g0wsh.that devilish darlingg.

m0m says my butt is quite big. and he agrees with it. l0ls! im 0kay with that.
l0ls.
i heart y0u darlingg!
l0ts and l0ts.
lurve y0u s0 al0t very very very much.

{astoria*grrl}
<3 darlingg__;

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Monday, October 18, 2004 12:04 p.m.

Why does things just happened so suddenly?
i'm not even mentally prepare to wat ever things my mum said.
i dun wanna noe anything.
i cant face it.
i cant.
just cant.
thats me.
im ending here
i cant cant carry aint more
{santeriana*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Sunday, October 17, 2004 08:38 p.m.

x/NoUseForAName

I AM SO DAMN FOOKING ANGRY!!

that used pad in the toilet WAS NEVER MINE SO STOP ACCUSING!! 2 OTHER GRRLS IN THE HOUSEHOLD HAVE MENSES ALSO!! IM NOT THE ONLY ONE!! WHY ARE YOU BOTH MOTHERS SO CONFIDENT IT IS MINE?! IT IS SO NOT MINE AND IM FOOKING MAD ABOUT THIS. FUCK YOU M0MS.
-Lynnie

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Sunday, October 17, 2004 05:52 p.m.

x/ByeINeverWantToSeeYouAgain

al0r.
its me Lynnie p0sting.
watching teevee n0w.
s0 insecured. l0lx. c0s the suami g0t anader grrl bsides his marriage.
and the father went t0 batam in search f0r a sec0nd wife. scary!!
i slept in the no0n justie and w0ke up with a stressed face.
m0st pr0lly bc0s of the dream. it was an action-packed dream.and w0ke up my cuzzin asked me why face s0 stress, must be salah mimpi[wrong dream].
bef0re i sleep my cuzzin said that my face is pucat. h0w d0 i say that in english? x( o0ps. oh, pale. l0lx.
went t0 darlingg bl0g again justie.
o0h, shuweet stuffs he g0t dere. i just l0ve him s0 much.
heavenly v0ice heh. l0lx.h0pe t0 hear u sing so0n!! hehehe!
h0pe t0 see him tmr. but i n0e i cant. haish. tmr i can fast 0ready! wo0t. s0 happy!!
0h yah, darlingg wants sth in return f0r snapping my pink band. l0lx.
gif him my deadly kiss den he n0e. hahar!!
fasting mah~ cann0t d0 this kinda things! behave behave.
{h0wever far away i will always lurve y0u}
my c0rn had s0me discharge justie.
and m0m says if it d0es n0t heal, den i nid t0 g0 f0r operati0n/surgery.
go0dness. this t0e. better heal!! the liquid nitr0gen is already such a pain!
babe, i miss my darlingg. wish i c0uld see him t0day. i wan t0 see him tmr. 0h yeah, my nizzy sister wants t0 meet me tmr. l0lx! i h0pe i can g0 out and i WILL be back bef0re break-fast!

end here~
{astoria*grrl}
<3s Y O U(noe.who.you.are)

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Sunday, October 17, 2004 04:15 p.m.

x/IFeelLikeILostEverythingWhenYoureGone

al0r.
its me Lynnie p0sting.
btw,thanks MAY f0r dedicating that s0ng t0 me and darlingg.
muackx! khekhekhekhe.
im listening t0 matchbo0k r0mance-pr0mise.
and again,thanks MAY f0r the backgr0und s0ng.
co0l ar! my fav s0ng and darlingg os0.
darlingg bl0g os0 same s0ng. hehs. x)
hmmx, dunn0 whud t0 say but yestie i read his bl0g he p0st ab0ut yestie..
it is s0 cute and s0 shuweet! x) <3sH I M.
darlingg g0ing t0 lend me his romance2 cd.
l0lx. i meant my chemical r0mance&matchbo0k r0mance.
neways,311-l0ve s0ng is s0 nice! heard it 0n darlingg mp3..
{h0wever far away i will always lurv u
h0w ever l0ng i take i will always lurv u
whutever w0rds i say i will always lurv u}
dats dedicated f0r my darlingg and May! and her mr.santeriana.
din t0k much t0 him 0nline.
instead, i had s0me insecurities and d0ubts.
is he having an0ther ast0ria? x(
i really h0pe n0t c0s i lurv him s0.
i just g0t t0 believe in him and this relati0nship,
and h0pefully evrything turns 0ut fine.
c0s i just l0ve him s0 and i mean it m0re than w0rds can say.
my darlingg is s0 em0. x) and he is blessed with a w0nderful grrl..
thats me! l0lx! g0sh. live with it.
hindustan start 0ready~ and laterr i wan t0 msg darlingg.
bl0g laterr ad nyte!
darlingg im styll h0lding 0n to your r0se!
and wheres my pink band! better kip it go0d.
muackx! lurv u many2.
g0wd. s0 mushy.. x)

end here~
{astoria*grrl}
<3sdarlingg..
-SO MUCH!-
PS:/tmr shikin birthdayy! (18/10/04) been bugging me f0r present. me n0 m0ney lia0!! x( tmr i pr0m0te ur bdae here la 0key!

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Sunday, October 17, 2004 12:49 p.m.

I Will Fly\*

song title: I Will Fly
singer: Imel
You know all the things I've said
You know all the things that we have done
And things I gave to you
There's a chance for me to say
How precious you are in my life
And you know that it's true...
To be with you is all that I need
Coz with you, my life seems brighter
And these are all the things I wanna say

**
I will fly into your arms
And be with you till the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it's very hard for me
To get myself close to you

You're the reason why I stay
You're the one who cannot believe
Our love will never end
Is it only in my dreams
You're the one who cannot see this
How could you be so blind
To be with you is all that I need
Coz with you, my life seems brighter
And these are all the things I wanna say( repeat ** )

dedicate to Mr and mrs astoria,ma darlingg and all my frens out there {santeriana*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 10:04 p.m.

x/<3sY O U

oh yeah, naughty darlingg snapped my pink band! x) hurhurhur. lurve u many2 {astoria*grrl} <3s H I M

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 08:32 p.m.

x/I<3MyDarlinggAlot

al0r pe0ple.
i just finish eating sec0nd r0und.
s0 full..n0w waiting f0r darlingg t0 cum 0nline.
i am s0 happy t0 see him just n0w.
very very happy.
wish i c0uld see him everydayy,but i n0e it is imp0ssible.
we went t0 t0wny just n0w..
walk2..and i drank water.
po0r darlingg he fasting and i see his lips s0 dry.
x(
sit ad MY place,0utside paragon,beside ralph lauren bo0tiq.
drink snapple dere and po0r darlingg s0 sleepy.
he kept yawning..tsh.
den walk t0 s0merset..to0k train back t0 ct hall.
went t0 esplanade.
darlingg nvr g0 esplanade library bef0re.
eksyen say SP pe0ple dun g0 there.
den archellie wan walk t0 merli0n but s0 h0t and summ0re my darlingg fasting.
s0 i to0k pity 0n him.
bg s0ng is singapore id0l,taufik singing bryan adam s0ng on tv
and here i am 0n the c0mputer listening t0 the punkr0ck versi0n of the s0ng.
den walk2. g0t t0 n0e darlingg dun break the law.
x) cr0ss r0ad die2 os0 wan use traffic lyte wanx.
i h0pe we g0ing t0 last l0ng..lurv him s0 much.
den g0 t0 funan IT mall. take airc0n..
den g0 to ct hall mrt..
wait f0r sumb0dy t0 reach. l0lx!
"sumb0dy" c0s we dunn0 wher t0 g0.
at last g0 t0 the mrt platf0rm and talk2.
he send me until lavender 0ny..den he g0 h0me.
x( im s0 sad he c0uldnt send me h0me bc0s of fasting and he nids t0 break-fast..
i say "bye" os0 reluctant.h0pes he n0ticed that!
grRr.
may! i b0ught ur clip 0readyy! hiphipho0ray!
i g0 2001 with darlingg justie, n0 m0re My Doll shirt.
i think pe0ple buy 0ready..im s0 s0 sadd!
im s0 happy being with him n0w.
l0ike maysze, i just felt that im m0re serious this tyme.
never to0k relationship seriously. well,0nce.
but lo0k ad whud that bastard did t0 me! hmrph. it is s0 maddening but i dunch care nem0re.
i haf my darlingg n0w t0 take care of.
btw,just n0w g0 h0me g0t irritating mat g0 step 0n my slipper den i nid t0 turn back and sh0w him an angry face and use f0rce 0n my slippers s0 that im free fr0m him.
sibai la mat.i hate pasir ris. s0 many gatal b0ys. l0ike whut l0ike that.
0h yah, i managed t0 leave darlingg behind.
but he os0 g0t leave me behind. s0 bad sey!!
but i leaft him behind os0 i wait f0r him c0s cant bear the th0t of him walking al0ne!
i lurv him s0 much!! l0lx! he 0nline ledy~ tmr i m0nday i bl0gg!!
end here~

{astoria*grrl}
<3sdarlinggf0reverx

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 08:02 p.m.

I'mGettingMarriedWithDarlingg*

aloha,may back t0 bl0g
hmmm.feeling so b0red g0tt t0 stay at h0me
an0t mum dun let me g0 0ut tml.
dunch n0e wher darlingg run t0 lia0x
nv even msg me! humpx
tml g0ing t0 church with brina after that g0 meet darlingg and ben go tamp catholic church. x). first tym lei
plan t0 g0 t0wn after church.but 7 mus be h0me
coz 7plus darlingg g0t tution
his exams is still 0n,m0nday den finish
feeling a mixture of happy and sad
im happy bc0z n0w im spending m0st of ma time with him
i'm seri0us in our relati0nship
aint like the last tym mee aint m0re
aint the flirtious mee.bcoz he had changed me
bcoz of him i learn to be seri0us
and learn t0 cherish ma loved 0ne[(darlingg)]
im sadd bcoz the days with with in numbered
sigh,only left 9 m0re days.
Boowhoo. x( whut am i g0nna d0.
s0 here am i making a wish that he can dun g0
but i n0e is imp0ssible.s0 h0pefully.2yrs
we wunt betary each 0ther.
and loike whut we pr0mised each 0ther
get engaged 0nce he get back
0nce we engaged g0 t0 NEW ZEALAND f0r h0neym00n
im s0 determind to wait f0r him
s0 l00king f0rward t0 our coming yr
that we culd spent t0gether x)
Thanks lyn
anyway h0pe euu and ur guys last yah
learn to believe in urself and cherish him kaes
i thinks thats all~
i shall end here x)
{santeriana*grrl} <3s darlingg rhyo.

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 03:02 p.m.

x/LeftRememberingWhatsItLike

I AM SO HAPPY!
I CAN TASTE!
I CAN SMELL!
MY ORGANS ARE OKAY!
O-FUCKING-KAY!

f0r 4 days ive been eating fo0d with0ut a taste.
and c0uldnt smell nice2 stuffs.
0nly den i n0e that they are s0 imp0rtant in 0ur life!
better treasure my t0ngue and n0se fr0m n0w on.
x)
s0 the st0ry is like this,
im n0t fasting bc0s of "grrl" thing.
s0 i drank a b0ttle 0f yakult.
furst2 i dinch realised i was tasting yakult!
den i bend d0wn t0 switch 0n my c0mp.
and sumthink tastes funny..s0 i drank yakult again.
and im all smiles and s0 happy that i c0uld finally taste!
the happiness stylls remain!
summ0re m0m is co0king mee bandung f0r break-fast t0day.
been asking her fer that f0r dayss.
i am S0 happy.want t0 tell my darlingg but he is n0t online..
and n0 hp t0 sms him. x(
this afterno0n gg 0ut with him g0 t0wn.
archellie i dunn0 whud t0 d0 at t0wn during fasting.
c0s at t0wn, as i walk i eat ice cream, drink snapple.
thats whud i always d0 ad t0wny.
but t0day cann0t sey..x(
laterr pe0ple say whut plak. hmrph.
t0day i am s0 gg t0 leave darlingg bhind.
c0s i can walk my USUAL speed oready.
he yestie eksyen.
say i kene left behind c0s i walk sl0w.
t0day we see h0w eh.
x)
summ0re he n0t familiar with t0wny.
he w0uld ged l0st and will find me!
l0lx.
{walaupun bertahun lama smogakan terlaksana}
{ku ingin terbang ke awan mengapai bintang2 dlm kegelapan malam}
thats a sneak peek fr0m gerhana skacinta-mimpi.
l0lx.
used t0 like that s0ng al0t
always sing that s0ng t0 Leha.
hehs.
until she os0 sing sumtymes.
co0l eh.
my dearr fren, maysze,
her days with her darlingg is numbered
c0s rhy0 is leaving t0 australia so0n..
g0sh. s0 sad f0r her..
but ey grrl, y0ur gg t0 be his fiancee!
cheers mate! muackx!

end here~
{astoria*grrl}
<3s darlingg-

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Saturday, October 16, 2004 10:24 a.m.

WhyCantEverythingJustLastForever*

al0r
May here 0nce again
Backk t0 updated dee bl0g
*yawns* soo tired
Jus gawt homee fr0m t0wn
i guess t0day i had a gre8t time and al0t 0f fun
Brina,darlingg and me {dee threes0me} l0ls
soo happy.i br0ught a topsh0p bagg.
kind of cutesy.Darlingg 0s0 say very nice
lovee it al0t x).
i als0 br0ught a white clock fer $22{0ffered price}
dee usual price is $39.0h g0sh s0 cheapp.
Den s0 br0ught a mesh cap @ peni fer abu as a burfdae present
spent $10 on cigarettes, $4 on sweets.
t0day br0ught al0t of thingy s0 happy.
but p00r darlingg have to carry EVERYTHING. x)
And his als0 f0rce by me t0 g0 in grrls sh0p with me
l0ls.anyway he g0t a0t 0f c0mments want
i choose nearly abt 10 sh0es.
he give al0t of c0mment. saying n0t nice,like auntie and dee list g0es 0n
but dee last pair of sh0e i ch00se he finally said nice
lovee him so muchh.
saw huiling and yanling at fareast
two of them so pretty lei
after sh0pping, we acc darlingg g0 back cityhall
dee funan the it mall.
darlingg wanna find ipod mini
after that we makan and t00k bus 12 back t0 my h0use here
den they when t0 ma pool house dee toilet.
after that we slack and sm0ke at dee back 0f my condo there
after 10mins later i went h0me
they went t0 dewan.
had a gre8t time man
g0nna have ander sh0pping spree on sun! yeah
h0pefully dad wuld give me s0mem0re $$$. x)
an0t darlingg will pay.bwahs. =P.
i think thas all yah.i shall end here.
Love ya darlingg.
[12m0re days bef0re he leave me]
{santeriana*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Friday, October 15, 2004 10:09 p.m.

WhyDoesHelloFeelLikeGoodbye\*

al0r.
its me may blogging now.
jast gawt up and quickly on ma com.to see our new blog!.
gosh it's so nicee man.so happy.x) *screams*
THANKS EUU LYN!! love ya. *muacks.
ytd, darlingg l00k kind 0f sad.
i asked him why. he replied that he's not sad.
dunch bluff me larz.i dunno why i wuld n0e.
but i culd just sense it. sense that s0mething is isn't ryte.today its friday.
and i guess dee malays is fasting fr0m t0day 0nwards. if i'm n0t wr0ng lars.
anyway ar0und 2 later meeting dear go t0wn.
buy abu present,my slipper,shirt.
and blah.dee list g0es 0n.but i only got 80bucks.aww.
i'll update this B-E-A-U-tiful blogg 0nce i get home yah?
need t0 go and bathe already.
i shall end here yah. x)
Love ya darlingg. thanks lyn
[12m0re days bef0re he leave me]
{santeriana*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Friday, October 15, 2004 12:02 p.m.

x/TheStarsArentOutTonyte

al0r.
its me again p0sting.
maysze sh0uld be sleeping n0w.
i din wake up f0r sahur t0dey.
l0lx.lazy t0 wake up.nemind.
me n0t fasting neways.
this weekend im g0ing t0 t0wny!
h0pefully with darlingg.
(clutching 0n t0 a r0se)
went 0ut with him 0n wednesdayy.
it was go0d but my leg hurts.
if n0t he w0uld be left behind.
instead 0f me! hrmph. x(
i l0ike the atm0s. ad the f0untain@suntec
and was enj0ying the s0ngs.
h0ping f0r finch-letters t0 y0u t0 be played.
wishful thinking,it wasnt played.
s0bx!
dine 0utside with my h0mies last nyte.
i s0 cann0t taste a thing im eating.
aye,i NEARLY b0ught a digi cam.
*NEARLY!!*
instead b0ught 3 t0ps ad gi0rdan0.
striped,plain blue&pink.
whud else is there t0 tell?
n0tink else..x(
end here~

i l0ve y0u darlingg~!

{astoria*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Friday, October 15, 2004 08:46 a.m.

x/WhereDoYouRunToSoFarAway

Heylo0!
s0 i finished creating this bl0g!
wo0h0o.
based 0n self-0pini0n
it is fo0king nyce!
this is a new life 0f a new bl0g.
h0pe it lasts. m/

{astoria*grrl}

xmayxlynx fell.int0.pits @ Thursday, October 14, 2004 10:40 p.m.