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little s. sharleez. my pure love.
aan. nurul. my comrade.
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an.
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boolit.
ili.
theredwagon.
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izadhana.
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pm.
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// Random. // Sunday, April 1, 2007
Yo!
BabyGap's sleepwears are just so gorgeous. And what better way to seduce me more than their current 40% discount off most online items? Madness, I tell you. You have got to buy one to believe it.
That aside, I officially hate Sundays as of today. The weekend is just tooo...short. No time for good family bonding sessions. Oh let's not even talk about rest and relax sessions now. I barely had one. And tomorrow is already Monday, the beginning of yet another busy week. Correction. Beginning of the week actually starts today. Tsk.
Finding the time to express milk in school is just so difficult. My free periods are before recess everyday meaning, I have to express before recess. After recess, no more free periods meaning, I can dream a thousand dreams about expressing milk then. By the looks of it, I can only express once a day when in school. My colleagues told me to stop breastfeeding completely and start with the formula since it is so difficult to find the time to express. They did that but I do not want to have to resort to that. I have planned and still plan to exclusively breastfeed my girl for six months at least. Challenging, I know. Tiring, tell me about it. But I choose to believe that's what motherhood is all about. To make sure my girl has enough milk supply for the following day, I express when she is asleep at night and once I am done with my markings. Two sessions every night. The first one at 2 am. The second one at 5 am. And sometimes even a third one at 7 am. So don't even ask me whether I have enough sleep, alright? Ask whether I have enough milk for my girl.
Come Tuesday, Sharleez turns 3 months and will have her 3rd month immunisation early in the morning. I will be there for her. How can a mother not be there for her daughter when she is most needed? I have already made the necessary plans and changes, where school is concerned. My family comes first, then work. Or should it be the other way round? Hmmm.
Weather talk now. Don't you think the weather has been madly humid for the past few weeks? Or is it just me and my calories burning? Fat hope! (No pun intended.) I perspire a lot now, and that has never happened to me before okay? Not even after a 2.4 km run back then in school. (Read: a very long and somewhat neverending walk.)
And oh, more and more colleagues of mine have come to know of my humble blog's existence. Thank god I have never blogged critically about anyone of you before! Kidding! I adore you all. ;p But seriously, the internet world is smaller than you think it is. And to think some shallow burgers buggers actually have the nerve to speak shoddily of others, using the superseded "this is my blog, therefore I express whatever I want and you can leave if you want" line as a disclaimer. The impudence of it all!
How about me expressing milk right onto your face?!
Ok. Peace out.
@ 02:33 p.m.
// Survivor: Xinmin Primary. // Wednesday, March 28, 2007
I survived!!!
I survived my first day of school, after more than three good months of staying at home. I survived being away from my girl for more than half an hour. And most importantly, she survived staying at home without me and her only source of food, my breasts. Apparently I had expressed more than enough milk for her. Thank god.
How did I manage to survive, you ask me? The trick was simple but a bit heartless. The trick was to not think of her at all while I was at work today. I did not think I could do it at first, but thankfully I got really busy once in school. Free periods? I spent my free periods cleaning up my cubicle and yes, expressing milk. No time even for a good hot mug of milo. I was 'accidentally' on a diet today. According to the hubby, Sharleez was neither cantankerous nor cheerless. She did not look forlorn either. She amazingly slept throughout the afternoon and only woke up or cried a bit for milk. For the record, she is now very okay with the idea of sucking expressed thawed milk straight from the bottle. Yay!
In a way, I am really glad to be back at work. My pupils, they were really droll today. They were supposed to have silent reading in the hall, but the moment they saw me, they screamed my name and waved breathlessly at me. So much for silent reading, kiddos! But who cares? That was seriously moving, the way they welcomed me back and all. Of course, nothing beats staying at home with Sharleez.
Ok enough already. I am done in. I have just finished marking a pile of worksheets. Just a pile first, for a start. I need to sleep well tonight. I have a lot of catching up to do with my favourite colleagues and my darling class. I am still lost. I feel like a new teacher and today was very much like an orientation.
Oh please oh please give me at least a week to settle down.
Yet another testing day tomorrow.
Like today, I plan to wake up as early as 7 am tomorrow to spend some quality time with Sharleez before I am off to work. I am in the afternoon session, by the way.
@ 11:23 p.m.
// Who's the crybaby now? // Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Thank you all for the generous words of encouragement. I can do it tomorrow, and the days after. I can. I can. I cannot! This is so difficult. You have to understand where I am coming from, I have never been separated from Sharleez for more than half an hour. Friends told me to try going out without her during my maternity leave. I did not. I refused. I could not. Yeah serve me right now.
Just minutes ago, I was so paranoid about her milk supply tomorrow. I still am. I am just worried that the poor girl will starve. But even if she is full and just wants to suckle for comfort, I will not be there for her. I cannot be there for her. But I want to be there for her.
The feeling sucks, I tell you.
Just minutes ago, I was preparing my stuff for school tomorrow. I cried while doing that. I wiped away my tears. I can do it, I told myself. But then again, my forte is lying to myself. So we'll just see how.
And it is not helping either that Sharleez has started to be selective of the person who carries her just today! To make it worse, I 'happened' to witness her wincing and whimpering when Nurul wanted to take her away from my arms just today! Sharleez, Sharleez. You are not making it easy for Mummy. :(
Aiyah. Don't worry.
I am just being a crybaby (as a result of taking care of one).
After all, I am only going back to work. Not war.
I will miss you both a great deal, hor! The little one especially.
Sharleez, you must fetch Mummy home from school tomorrow okay?
@ 10:04 p.m.
// Its the final countdown. // Monday, March 26, 2007
When Wednesday comes, there will be less (and hopefully no more) of...
Forced and neverending (and sometimes smelly too) smooching sessions with Mummy.
Boring and neverending always in the car photo taking sessions with Mummy.
Silly (and rather stupid) dressing up sessions with Mummy.
Triple yayness for that, that and that!!!
But come Wednesday, there will also be less of breastfeeding sessions with Mummy but more of bottlefeeding sessions with Nana.
Uwekkkkkkkkkk!!
:(
Serve me right. Who told me to be so happy in the first place?
I know Mummy isn't very happy either, though she did mention she misses her pupils a great deal. This explains why she developed 91 photos of me today. She developed 125 photos of me just last month, for your info. Friends, if you come to visit me one day, you should seriously request for my photo album and see for yourself what a freak my Mummy has turned into. It's worrying.
And I heard she has developed about 20 photos of me to be placed all over her teaching cubicle. Mummy's colleagues, especially Uncle Edwin, don't say I didn't warn you beforehand. If you get babysick, blame Mummy totally. Don't blame me, I am just an innocent baby.
Meanwhile, can someone take me to JB soon?
I had my passport photo taken today, you see?
P.S: Unty Lynn, thank you for the top and all the beautiful stuff. You are too kind!
@ 09:17 p.m.
// My foot! // Saturday, March 24, 2007
Victory is mine!!!
Ok fine, I just lied.
It is Daddy's actually, after a day of footsal futsal (and leaving me at home with Mummy, that camera freak)! I am posing with his medal since Daddy is well, too shy and all.
Well done, Daddy! You play good soccer.
:)
@ 04:59 p.m.
// Goodbye paradise. // Thursday, March 22, 2007
Now that my maternity leave is coming to a very, very gloomy end, I must bid my goodbyes to a lot of glorious time. Glorious times like my snug afternoon naps with Sharleez, my filling afternoon snacks with Sharleez, my endless shopping expeditions with Sharleez, and of course, the many many picture taking of Sharleez. Now, you wouldn't want to explore my desktop, handphone or photo album as they are all equally overloaded with pictures of Sharleez. No that many pictures of Tatek and me anymore. Countable pictures of Tatek. Hardly any pictures of me. ;p
Whatever she does and wherever she goes, I snap snap snap. The camera is everywhere I go. It is alright if you do not believe me but believe my pictures. Pictures do not lie, you'll see.
Act fat and cute time!
Cleaning up time!
Feeding time!
Nap time!
No mood for camera time!
Got mood for camera time!
Posing in baby’s room time!
Playgym time!
I am going to miss all these bonding sessions with her come next Wednesday onwards. I am going to miss shopping with her on a weekday afternoon in an almost empty shopping mall. Euphoria, I tell you! I am going to miss spending time with just her in my room while watching Oprah on cable. I am going to miss talking to her, and hear her gibber oh so generously in return. I am going to miss making funny faces and laughing ourselves silly when nobody is watching. I am going to miss cuddling her oh so tightly during a heavy afternoon rain. I am going to miss her. I am going to miss my daughter. A lot, no less.
Aiyah!! Aiyah!! Aiyah!!
Hurray, no more paparazzi mamarazzi!
@ 11:17 p.m.
// Hush Puppy. // Wednesday, March 21, 2007
How was the current Baby Fair at Takashimaya, you ask me?
Frankly speaking, it was purely...
blearghhh!
@ 05:36 p.m.
// How long? // Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sharleez was seriously morose yesterday. To make it worse, I tried to take countless pictures with her to well, show you all my new hair. Yeah how bimbotic of me. I could have just taken a self-interested picture of myself, but funny how I feel naked if I were to take pictures alone without her nowadays. Simply put, I feel complete only when she is in the picture. The maternal instinct in me is unbelievably but undeniably strong, I say. Anyway, it was quite testing posing with her as she was not exactly in the mood for the camera yesterday. She wiggles a lot too, remember?
But at least I tried. Nevermind the fact that she did not even bother to look at the camera.
Cause even if she did look at the camera, she could only manage a long, long face.
Grumpy, grumpy Sharleez.
:(
@ 11:35 a.m.
// Doll maker. // Saturday, March 17, 2007
I find extreme delight in dolling Sharleez up each time we go out. No matter how short the distance or duration, dolling her up is a must. I don't even mind the fact that she is a really good wiggler. She can wiggle all she wants, just as long as I get her dolled up the way I want. I do try to make the whole process fun for her by keeping up a cheerful banter, maintaining good eye contact and praising her (for putting up with me). And of course, there is always the singing of silly songs, and the making of funny faces. A bit crazy I know, but dolling her up is like second nature to me already.
So its either she gets dolled up, or she stays at home.
But then again, I doll her up at home too.
So how? She is left with no choice but to look good all the time.
And I am not at all sorry.
'_'
Oh, Tatek calls her Pingkepom.
God knows what that means!!
@ 11:18 a.m.
// My white wedding. // Tuesday, March 13, 2007
My first ever wedding invite, and I was all white! Mummy had a wicked plan. She had to make sure I looked like the bride. The nerve! The actual bride was in blue (or was it green?!) instead. Kiuk kiuk.
I think I looked like an angel instead, yo.
But hey, I wonder why these wedding DJs have to shout, and not sing their songs. Cannot sing, don't shout. Cannot sing, just shut it. They spoil the songs and most importantly, my big appetite. Take that day for instance. I almost went deaf. I had no appetite for milk as a result.
Tsk.
@ 05:19 p.m.
// Nee Norr Nee Norr NOT! // Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Please, do not be alarmed if you couldn't see a single entry of mine prior to reading this. I did not make private my entries. There was nothing wrong with your eyes, computer screen or server either. I just did some spring cleaning lah, and brushed away my old and grimy entries. This blog is so much neater now as a result. Lovely.
So is my hair.
'_'
@ 10:53 a.m.
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