my mouse just did a very strange thing to me. It started crawling up and down the screen. poor little mouse.

I want to listen to more eclectic music and more jazz. Any recommendations..
I'm thinking along the lines of Deerhoof or BDBoy- but not Tom Waits... or something you enjoy.. Maybe this will help a little.. its not very encompassing at the moment- because to be honest my list sucks.. haha..

it's ugly because i'm using Paint.. beeyoutifu.

I am 26% evil.

I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

i'm just fascist nice.

irregardless disturbing dissention conveyence transportion expediate giraffe luther blissett displacement alienation postmodernism socialism disaffection revolving hyperthesis illumination renassiance middle ages industrialism confluence situationalism balantly comedical functionalism spatial disintergration aestheticism chomsky confusion unstructural deception capitalism third reich hypothesis disconbulation cherbic chernobyl con job hippopotamous.

The ability of humans to self-destruct- aka voyeuristic pleasure in reading others blogs- and letting them pretend that nobody reads their blog- while I have an essay, a audio test and a film theory for monday.. wunnderful. excellent. in the spirit of FSV!

Godard's got a new film to premiere at this year's New York Film Festival. It's called "Notre Musique" or "Our Music". This new film looks at different stages of war via three segments, "Heaven", "Hell" and "Purgatory", which includes actual war footage and scenes shot in Sarajevo and Palestine.
>>man, the guy is like a century old but- the mind is the sexiest thing-

In being a stranger to society, one views things with certain detachment- it may be the form of a flower or an ironical comment on the surface representations of society. As a traveller, one is freed from the complacency of having to follow a certain map of relations, most unknowingly expect you to behave otherwise. The eye of an camera replicates that distance of a traveller- he may view this detachment with amused frivolity or be lost in the forms of schizophrenia. To receive a balance is a marriage of aesthetic and the political- which is the terrority one traverses when one says, "All Art is Political".

In editing, the aesthetic of the personal as well the the structure of a story replicates exactly that relativism of the spectator- but to commit the spectator to the narrative the political must be employed. All art relates. In Jack Neo's films, while the political is committed, the art becomes enslaved to the narration- and one feels being preached to. It is the ability of certain forms of art, working under the constraits (mime- without the verbosity)- that allows the aesthetic to take place in the spectator's consciousness.

TV fails where cinema succeeds- as the emotional backmail (the CUs, music, visuals, quick pacing) enslave the spectator and destroy the consciousness of creation in the mind.

In this, we should never make cinema like TV- there must be unanswered questions, open aesthetics and failure of coincidences- as well as the political and aesthetic which in TV is subjugated to the exigencies of commercial time and ratings.

Being a person of religion doesnt mean you possess spirituality. Spirituality should be placed on a higher level than possessing a religion. After all, isnt the final aim of religion is to transcend a human inward-looking concern with all that exists? Religion does not make you a spiritual person- but it guides you towards that path in recognising that when you leave your body- you do not enter nothingness. Your soul is intact. Your spiritual development is then important. -haha.. the things i get from talking to my dad.

That's right. Our intrepid Maneka has done it again. Yesterday, as I was staying back working on my presentation (& doing very little editing)- i went to slack off with Man and Sam who where doing their transcription... Maneka not only used Dettol to wash her body, she- to her best of abilities- used Eversoft to brush her teeth. Sam and I were falling over our chairs laughing...Oh man.. Craig met us yesterday and deconstructed our project. He wanted a montage thing so we had to create one... sigh.. although he had a point. Although my team is ahead, everybody else's kind of frustrated with the dateline now- I think if he wants great documentaries to come out from his class- he should give at least 6 weeks of editing. No less. Some people dislike working with edits- a work should be something in progress. If you are so restrictive about edits- what are you going to get after 1 week editing? CRAP. DROSS. A clod of shit that crumbles apart in your hands.. there you go.

if you put your hands like an expert and acted like an expert in a majong game, does it mean you will win? would you rather be a child of ngee ann and live on a hill. Your mother was a teacher and your father was the chairman or something, and if they said you eat shit you will eat your way into a wormhole under the hill? It might even be beneficial living off a institution. questions, questions, questions.. (they strike you when you are on the verge of crawling into the tunnels of dreams..)

untitledgif.org
hilarity ensues

Some advice from auntie Ling: sometimes, if relationships don't work out- you have to learn to let go even it hurts. It may come to a point where there is no more love and where you are thinking: i'm putting this effort and this person doesn't give a damm. It's sad when things like this happen: bc its mostly miscommunication/lack of communication or the person doesn't love you as much you think you love him/her. Let go. sure, you miss the good times. It hurts. But life is too short to try to make the person see this. People who have shut their doors in your face- there's no use crying, yelling to be let in, pick up the pieces of your heart. It's time to leave...

I slept for 14 hrs straight since Wednesday afternoon- I woke up and thought about lots of things.

I had a conversation with Ika yesterday- which kind of triggered this thought. I think I have lost my objectivity. She still had hers. I read my previous entries and its true. I have stopped trying to think objectively what someone's problems could be- what lead to this problems at the start. Instead, I'm just thinking along the lines of that person giving me problems- and this attitude has informed what I have done over this semester: my confrontational attitude. I now don't think I was nicer or what previously- I just have lost the ability to see objectivity. And that does not help with dealing a person's problems at its roots. From now on, I try to work on that.. and change myself first.

This is a extremely long article...:)

Luang Prabang is a little raw gem located in Laos. It is a place of many temples, family businesses and simple but great food. Many businesses cater to the locals, simple little eateries or fruit shake stalls that serve the best tasting shakes compromising of coconut cream power, carnation milk and raw fruits. I made a mistake of drinking all my shake in one slurp and ended up with a packet of ice. Vendors are extremely generous with the ice so you can dilute your sweet drink. It is also a pleasant thing riding bicycles up and down the town, since most of the traffic is retricted to open air tuktuks, trishaws, motorbikes and the occasional SUV from out of town. The first few days I was wobbling about; by the 11th day I could ride with one hand just like the locals- who often carry an umbrella open while riding!

Luang Prabang is a city built in a mountainous region- many of the minority tribes hawking their handicraft at the Night Market come from up the hills. At first, I wasn't used to bargaining- but soon, I found it quite a pleasure haggling with the vendor- both of us obviously enjoyed the game: me in my lousy Lao, and she with her trusty calculator(or fingers). The trick to leave both parties smiling is to quote half the amount the vendor quotes and raise ur price up accordingly. Anyway, if the price is too low the vendor will not sell, and you can always walk away from the transaction. (although probably they will call you back if you are lucky!) Be sure to haggle- this ensures you do not drive up prices for the town.

The food in LP is also devastatingly good and simple- imagine having choice of sweet gultinous rice, yu tiao fried with fish, bee hoon, or chee chong fun with sweet,sour,spicy sauces or french bread with pate for breakfast!And that's just the breakfast. Lao beer is refreshing and light(better than tiger) and lau whiskey(lau lau) is delicious! Cigarettes are 15,000 kips. Yet Lao people are not prone to vices. I would compare 10,000 kips in local purchasing power to be like Sing. (10,000kip=1US)

In LP, one is also surprised that the teenagers will wear jeans on one day, and turn up in a traditional skirt the next day. They may play traditional instruments but may profess to love Westlife. During evening time, Laotians come out on the street and play football (they love Man U and World Cup), checkers with bottlecaps or badminton. One fascinating game I witnessed involved kids throwing their flip-flops to hit a deck of cards. It could be the Laos version of petanque( a french game). Laotian youths are active, cheerful and enthusiastic workers- and they especially love singing and dancing. The first day at a youth camp, we all groaned when after 2 hours, they demanded more singing. After a few days in Laos though, you become less criticising and really learn to enjoy such (...) lyrics like, 'You and I, are so nice, same moon, same world, and same sun!'

Learning the Lao language endears you to most Lao people, even a little practice with Lao numbers or saying 'saep' to the waitress can bring on a genuine smile. Laotians generally find it hard to reject requests. The first person we wanted to interview for our documentary project did not reject us- but when the day came, she had a funeral to attend and could not be found. In this case, I thought she must have found it too hard to say no- perhaps she was ashamed about showing her house- so we left to find another subject for our film.

LP is a place where many dogs, chickens roam about. We frequently saw ducks, buffalos, domesticated monkeys and cats around too. Laotians also wake up early at 6am to give alms to the monks (a sprinkling of rice)- rain or shine, the monks travel around the town, before going back to share their collected food. All Lao men serve in the wats as novices- it is like their national service. Lao women are often seen making rice cakes to dry, fry and sell, or they will sew little cross-stitches to sew on bags to sell to tourists.Kids still study in blackboard classrooms with little drawings and idioms like 'birds of a feather flock togther'. They are hungry for knowledge, and pick up things faster than us..

LP has taught be a lot of things: namely, one can be content with simple food, good clean water and simple transport. Laotians do not like waste, and the guesthouse reminds us to turn off electricity and not waste water. They have internet just like the rest of the world. It it strange to say, but one feels alive having a direct relation to the food you eat (the morning glory in your garden is now your lunch or that stringy chicken you are eating was running around in the morning), knowing your water comes from a spring nearby, seeing people sew bags that you buy in the market, and knowing that only your own leg power can bring you to another part of the town. It is something that I miss coming back singapore- riding in aircon buses watching a tv set- disconnected from the reality passing outside your window, viewing someone on the basis of the clothes they wear, the image they project- seeing all experience lived here in SG is going through a middleman, a tv set- all experiences are the sum of reflections upon reflections. I feel disembodied once again, as if my mind was floating above my body- all the little enchantments Lao cast on me has been lost- feeling alive is difficult again. For me, Luang Prabang counts as my favourite town in all my travels... I just hope it will stay small town and endearing and not go the way of cities like ours... bless this lovely place.

Ghazal of Dreaming
(For Brian)

I have dreamt of someone's death; also the deceased returning.
On waking, one confirms the present, the other serves to condemn it.

Last night it was a scene of running in the rain.
And when the skies cleared a boy offered me a feather.

No witnesses to the crimes I commit in my sleep.
I enter with no motives and exit without alibis.

Teach me to distinguish the foreground from the background.
These three black horses or that sobbing in the grass?

Long shadows are sketched by a low-hanging moon.
A stone lantern beckons in a garden of toads.

'We awaken to the real, which discards emotions for the image.'
In this manner, Alfian, all art is the dissolving of a dream.

-(part of the Ghazals of the Three Muses- by Alfian Bin Sa'at)

after a miserable entry, my maniac self demands fun:

oxymorons:
I am a deeply superficial person. -Andy Warhol
Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it. -Irene Peter
I distinctly remember forgetting that. -Clara Barton
We must believe in free will. We have no choice. -Isaac B. Sing
She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on. -Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist
I can resist everything but temptation. -Mark Twain
If you fall and break your legs, don’t come running to me. -Samuel Goldwyn
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded- Yogi Berra
It’s more than magnificent-it’s mediocre. -Samuel Goldwyn

want to read something depressing? check Let me end by laughing at myself...
"It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This true of men as of dogs"- Eric Hoffer

I am just sapped at the end of each week. here's why.

mon- horrifying spanish (cant even bluff my way thru)
tue- time spend for proplan on tue night is a killer
wed- tired to death by proplan
thur- looks free, but probably getting stressed over lack of time on Avid
fri- horrified by more paperwork for DocPro.
sat- dead and sleeping
sun- dead and sleeping

and so the cycle continues..

"The Return" directed by Andrei Zvyagintsev and written by Vladimir Moiseyenko & Aleksandr Novototsky.

There is a scene in the movie itself where the boys come home and enter the house, searching for the 'Father'. They peep into a room which their (granny?maid?) is sitting and staring off into space. The camera cuts to a shot of glowing coals. This shot is interesting for the fact that the camera remains with another character even after the protagonists have gone off- I would say it's emphasis is momentarily not on the search itself, but on the result of the father's return. I find the idea of the independent camera fascinating, and the film has given me practical idea of how this may be carried out.