I totally agree with Jave when she told me today this is the best production group she has worked with. Everybody has loads of initiative and enthusiasm, and its easy-going and fun working with people like Saj, Kuan Hua, Shikin and Jave. I hope we can work together next time too.. if we have the chance...

We spent quite a lot on one of the talents- dismayed- but it was a choice we had to make. Having a house entirely to yourself is a great thing. At least nobody complains when we move stuff around... We had 1 kino, redhead set, 2 Arri 1000, and 1 Arri 650- loads of equipment. The only regret was we didn't have enough kino or blue gels... It was great fun lighting the set with Saj.

Things I hate about living with my parents
1)Having to watch lame-ass Chinese and Korean shows
2)Not being able to watch scv or other channels
3)Being accused of minor events
4)Sharing a toilet
5)Having to hide my spending on clothes, cds and films
6)Not having the right to say what I want
7)Having a father who stays at home everyday
8)Waking up and hearing noise.
9)Going to sleep and still hearing the tv.
10)Nobody having a interest in sports in the house
11)Being forced to make communication
12)Not being able to invite friends over as parents are at home all the time
13)parents' craziness about health remedies
14)Feeling of being judged
15)Father doesn't go to church or do any social stuff
16)People touching my stuff
17)Feeling trapped when I get home early
18)Being reminded constantly about money issues.

Things I like living with my parents
1)Laundry gets done
2)Free food
3)Pocket money
4)My mother
5)Free laser jet printing
6)Free utilities

Summary: The odds are all for it if the money problems are solved. I'm going to move out once I get a job. I'm sick of all these problems. People should move out of their parents' home, get a part-time maid or something.

I am so upset today. First magazine, which I had been collecting since issue one- my mum threw away my entire collection. My dad had the cheek to say I should leave my magazine around, but the fact was, I never left them around, I left them in a shelf and one doesn't expect people to throw your stuff away without asking you.

I am so so angry and upset because each of them that I collected represented great sentimental value to me.Every magazine represented the movies I loved and watched. It's like having someone come and throw away your cd-collection. How would you feel?

I am sick of staying with my parents. All I want to do is quickly earn money and move out of the house.

Bande a part (band of outsiders) is the most contemporary of films I have ever watched recently, considering it was made in 1964. Movies now are all mired in past of nostalgic effluent- I haven't watched a movie that celebrated the present for some time, even it was 1964. It was like fresh dew from the heavens; starring the lovely Anna Karina and Sami Frey and Claude Brasseur, as the naive romantic student and the brutal young men planning a robbery; with everything admirable about Godard: his insolence for rules, the natural realism, and his relish at wordplay, non-diegetic elements, crazy quoting and the novel-like narration. It is less political or sociological that his other films, but very charming.

women are very unreliable. personally, i find women take back their promises too easily. I find it a rare gem of a woman who promises and accounts for their work. And when you do find one, you have to keep them. I think many women are too easily distracted by too many things. Friendship for women seems unreliable. Of course, some friendships with men are equally unreliable. They live on some internal timing that you have no idea of. A promise from some people accounts for nothing, cheap as a dice.

I met Sun, Wenjie, Huifang, Jamie and Juan yesterday at substation. Brillant people to listen to. Sun said something pretty insightful- Juan remarked on it: A mark of a filmmaker is the ability for the person to put a part of him/herself in the the film, you must be able to identify the person from the film- (otherwise it could be from anywhere). That makes me wonder, am I the person people see in my little videos and film? I have to think about that.. :)

skip this. it's long.

Just a few pounds- say 10 pounds can make the difference between feeling like a normal woman slightly plump or a fat obese monster.

I have been shopping today- I thought buying clothes would be a simple affair- silly naive me. instead it reduced my healthy self-image of that of a slightly plump person into that of a blubbering wreck. My bottom suddenly became an afflicted whale, my plump arms became two huge branches. I felt like a jig saw that refused to fit in the puzzle. Yet I had years of practice to make me seem I was checking details on clothes when I was in actual fact saying "too small, you can't fit" and jimmy cricket was saying ,"run run run! before they find out!". Sad to say, I ended up buying two bags and earrings- neutral accessories I always resort to when I cannot find any clothes. I always feel bashed up after window shopping. It's like I'm suddenly this green monster walking around- I become suddenly odious and abnormal. All these shops tell me I am fit only to buy T-shirts. The clothes are like a hundred eyes staring at every extra pound I had. Yet, ten pounds ago, I don't recall ever feeling so sick in the guts after a shopping trip... God, I am just 20 pounds overweight... but I feel like I am not fit to live. All of a sudden, I am this terrible person that deserves nothing. Sounds like an exaggeration, right?

I feel sick for measuring my self-worth by the pound. I should know better right? But I'm not a robot.

you know how there are some people you try to start a conv. with and they go, 'is it?' then drive you nuts by changing the topic like, 'oh! i love the soup from here. pass me the salt pls'. Talking to them is like looking at underwear in the window. Or they have the 'Queen of England' accent- so perfect and so annoying.

"During the European Renaissance (1400-1700s AD), it was commonly accepted that the eyes were the entry way into the human soul. According to historian Anthony Grafton, if a man were to be overcome with melancholy due to an undying passion, love, and devotion for a woman - it was thought that the man had come under the influence of a spell and enchantment. It was believed that the woman had initially gained access to the man's soul through his eyes - this was often at the very moment when her eyes first met his eyes. Common symptoms of this malefic malady were loss of sleep, loss of appetite, and loss of drink. Many possible courses of treatment were first prescribed - such as flogging the man or having him spend a weekend in an out-of-town "house of ill repute".

However, if none of these lesser measures worked - then a counter enchantment was performed on the man. Typically, the man sat in a chair, while an ugly "hag" (their terminology, not mine) from the village stood before the man, screaming profanities and saying vile things about the woman he was ''smitten" with. This was continued until the man was released from the enchantment. If, after all this, the man was still not cured of the enchantment - as a last resort, the ugly hag would pull out a rag drenched in her menstrual blood, place it inches away from the man's face, and scream: "This is your woman! She is like this! She is like this!" This was normally thought to do the trick."

*runs away screaming*

let's just consider a while, without resorting to pithy statements. Isn't the worth of women judged by her beauty? Can men understand the deep trap we've all fallen in?

but still... i want to be beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. sigh.

singaporeans have a terrible great fascination with the internet. We spend hours trolling and gambolling among forums, in masses of information. but despite being so connected, i haven't noticed many singaporean sites in the realm of information and knowledge. We are disportionally under-represented in dissipating information and social culture. every kind of information I want is found on american sites. It's the same everywhere, we absorb films, books, food and consume all matter of foreign culture; but only a small minority make plays, write novels, essays or music. It's as if we are all consigned to our fate- there is nothing of permanence worth doing in this country. but our ancestors certainly did not think this way. They made movies, music, trends, novels, critical writings as part of their lives.

Who and what did this to Singapore?

we were talking about being miserable- and I think L said something about it being beautiful being miserable, while S said she couldn't stand being with a miserable person.

is misery such a great idea? I don't know. I tried to escape it for years....

would you rather be a miserable, cynical, smart person or a happy, warm, dumb person? (haha) You know, I prefer the second... I don't think misery is pathos.

Just watched 'Finding Neverland' with S and L last night. The premise is that J.M. Barrie has writer's block. His last screenplay has been attacked by critics. So one fine day he goes gallivanting in the park and meets 4 young boys of a widow, Sylvia Davies, who trigger him to make up stories about Neverland for them. And so he begins to write the screenplay for Neverland- a story of lost boys, pirates, mermaids and faeries.

The movie suffers from wanting to be an adult movie relating childhood- its too much like watching theatre- u are too distracted by the artifice of the sets, the modern humour, Depp's floppy hair, the lack of money in production. It is neither the wonderful and dreamy world of Peter Pan nor the bittersweet relationship of Slyvia and Barrie nor the past of the England or about the man himself. It's all over the place. This is just a walk in the park for Winslet and Depp.

Kinsey on the other hand, is more willing to explore the professor of sex, his humanist rationalism (which also drives his wife cuckoo) and his bisexualism and frankness towards humans and sex. Liam Neeson holds up the movie rather well, but John Lithglow as a fervant Presbyterian pastor/ father of Kinsey can be rather hilarious- since I kept associating him with 3rd rock from the sun. Laura Linney is wonderful as his understanding earthy wife. The film shows sexual conservatism in America in the 50s- after the screening, one member audience was heard to remark, 'Don't you think this is like Singapore now?' but I just have a feeling this movie would strike more of a chord in middle class america than here...