There are two people in my class I keep falling in love with. These two are: (drum roll)

VAL & SAJETHA! (no order)

ok, before you start avoiding me, im no les(yet..haha). But I realised over time I still enjoy your company, I still laugh at the things you both say, I still banter like old aunties with you gals. And best of all, you gals understand friendship is showing your uninhibited self, is allowing yourself to be ridiculed for a joke, is honesty towards life. Your ethics to work are similar to mine and although we scold each other bimbo/bitch/butch/brains we don't have to be poseurs towards others because of our friendship.

When I don't see either of you, I miss your company. This is my paen to you, you two great unselfish 50ft women for your time, your understanding, your friendship... :)

I don't get it when people want to know everything about you- the twilight years that went 'poof'! I'm not hiding- I just dont have the genes for explaining my life...

i mean, sometimes i dont want to disappoint people, but I find it hilarious ppl think I can play the guitar. I just tell them I suck goddam bad and they still dont believe me. Truth is really funny to manipulate sometimes. It must be in some shared fantasy, all guys hope that some girl can beat the shit outta them in playing the guitar. But observing reality, I only see girls play bass or drums well. Maybe piano.

It's the same case when I went to crew for Mediacorp. The old guys thought I could be the first sound gal if I wanted to (despite my protests tt I like the cam better). Guys sometimes think too well of girls sometimes you know. I call it the '50 feet woman syndrome'. They love to be beaten by a strong sexy bitch. (automatically exludes me..haha)or maybe someone just really good.

There is some reason why there isnt many good female drivers and sound crew out there. If women were meant to be good in that area- we would be swarming there by now.

On the other hand, there are the fucking bastards who see a woman struggling with cables and snigger, "teach them how to tie the cables." that really makes me boil. Technical assholes like actually more common in our field, unfortunately...

I just had a very strange thought just now. I had just got up from the computer to go the kitchen when I realised nobody in the house was moving. The first thought I had was that my parents and grandma had poisoned themselves and everybody died.

Strange but true.

I had a multi-track recording session right after HH's lesson on thurs with val, mike, wayne and rashad. I hadn't had so much fun since school began.

We were supposed to listen to the mix-downs of the tapes.. but were all too fond of trashing the drum kit in the studio. Val came in and scolded me and then Mike and Rashad. But they also took turns playing..haha. I asked Mike to teach me a rhythm or two. I messed the 1st cause I couldnt tap the snare in offbeat to the highhat-. I then started on the 2nd rhythm- then both of them started scolding me.. like auntie and uncle. Was quite hilarious. With Val around you can't help having fun.

Of course I did choose a song (some english song by Chendol-I rem hearing their music at the final year project showing- quite retro styled and funky- with trumpets and vocalists).

In the end I was the last to leave the 9th floor. Was rather creepy- My own footsteps echoed down the empty corridor- didnt look into the green room even though I saw the control board glowing with dials- but quite tempted to.. maybe I would have seen something....but i scared lah..

sorry ive been so anti-social, anal and difficult perfectionist recently. val, i still owe u that ice-cream. just been broke paying my bills. you know, one stupid reason why i havent been to the bank is that im too lazy to change my signature.. my mum has a field day laughing each time i go to the bank and use my thumb. yeah, yeah. laugh.

showed me n val's presentation on fri at craig class which i spent the whole night on-dont ask me y- i wasnt thinkin i was hypontised into it-basically Darryl said i was using a bazooka to kill an ant. He's rite...hahahha

Ok, we shot at Baybeats yesterday. But I really don't like this year Baybeats.
Reasons
1) They had bloody security around- you think Osama was hiding in someone's bag. sure, I had a media pass, but still it was kinda menacing.
2)Some stupid mats still managed to heckle the foreign headliners- cant we have good clean fun for once? (again, so they kinda suck- but do you have to shout, 'suck my cock?')
3)People take themselves too seriously- comeon- mat tapered, I wasnt going to stereotype you by shooting you..
4)Agressive atmosphere- considering what happened last year. Baybeats should reconsider asking in foreign bands that are not up the mark to the Arena. Dont want to name names.
5)Force Vomit should have a bigger stage.
6)All that free-indie-happy mood of past years was gone- and in come the poseurs- I rather see the unplugged session come back- and less of the emphasis on the arena if that's what it takes for a more relaxed atmosphere.
7)People's expectations are getting too high- this is supposed to be a free platform for lousy bands too!

Let's not have it degenerate into some fiasco where the stupid media helps to clamp it down. We had some fun shooting because there are still curious and fun-loving singaporeans, but spolit by lot of assholes out there.

oh yeah, btw i had a dejavu- somehow i must have dreamed of shooting at Baybeats before.

[Bjork is sitting next to her TV with her cheek six inches from the screen.]

"Hello. It is Christmas time and I've been sitting here by my TV. I've been watching it very much lately because I'm on a holiday and I've been seeing all those programs, about all sorts of things. About Icelandics being very happy about Christmas, very gay, and also very serious and spiritual, and also seeing Icelandic comic people making jokes, which they are very good, that.

"But now I'm curious. I've, I've, I've switched the TV off and now I want to see how it operates. How it, how it can, can, make, put me into all those weird situations. So...

"It's about time! [Bjork turns the TV around and stands up to take off the back of the TV.]

"See. [Bjork places the TV backplate on the floor and shifts the TV again so you can see the circuit boards. Bjork sits down again. She points at the electronic components.] This is what it looks like. Look at this. This looks like a city. Like a little model of a city. And all the houses which are here. And streets. And this is maybe an elevator to go up, up there. And here are all the wires. These wires [deep sigh] they really take care, take care of all the electrons when they come through here. [Rubbing her nose] They, they, they take care of, they are powerful enough to get all the way through here [pointing to the tube]. I read that in a Danish book this morning.

[Bjork turns the TV around so that the screen faces her again.]

"And this beautiful television has put me, like I said before, in all sorts of situations. I remember being very scared to it because an Icelandic poet told me that not like in Cinemas, where, uh, the thing, that, that, throws the picture from it, sends lights on the screen. But, but this is different. This is millions and millions of _little_ screens who, who send light on you. Some sort of electrical light. I'm not really sure. But because there's so many frames when you're watching TV, your, your head is very busy all the time to, to calculate and put it all together into one picture.

"And, and then because you're so busy doing that, you don't watch very carefully what, what the program you are watching is really about. So you become hypnotized, so all that's on TV, it just goes directly into your brain and you stop judging if it's right or not. So you just swallow and swallow.

"This is what an Icelandic poet told me once. And I became so scared to television that I always got headaches when I watched it. But then later on when I got my Danish book on television I stopped being afraid because I, I read the truth. [Big smile] And that's the scientifical truth, which is much better. You shouldn't let poets lie to you."

There are two things she said that's good. Poets are such liars, and the scientifical truth is doesnt offend anyone..

I like this quote from an amazon reviewer...

"I don't like to turn a critical eye onto this film. It would be like pointing a flashlight at the moon."

it's about buena vista social club (dvd). Indeed.

I find there is something quite disgusting about the theorising of film. That one should see psychoanalytic or Freudian interpretations in a film like Oz is irresponsible to me. First of all, Film Theory, despite its name, is not a logical process of studying film. It makes only a claim. For an example, examine this: how do you know World War 2 took place? Are you going to give me a quack story about the psychological effects on the population or are you going to point me to material evidence- the used artillery, the written accounts-? We shouldn't study a film decapitated of its history, the events on set, the influences.

Film theorising should attempt to illuminate the obscure- but not tear apart the foundations to find the woodlouse in the pillar. There is a danger of believing that every image on the screen means something. Films should be individually given the attention they deserve. It is ridiculous to apply the level of critcism on Harry Potter as Ran. Or an emotive film like Lost in Translation to a intentional film like Memento.

In the meantimes though I am leery of film theory, I hope for the sake of studies there is still something interesting that may be gleaned from it.

The case against film critics

Join the singapore film society for $60 as student and get to watch over 4 shows(at least) a month- for free. SFS anyone? I intend to get the membership at the door when they are screening this wed. at GV Marina.

A friend provided a most interesting food for thought today. I once defined myself as an humanist and equalist in her survey without actually knowing the definition. This is what she found out:

defintion of humanist from webster 1913's dictionary.

1. One of the scholars who in the field of literature proper represented the movement of the Renaissance, and early in the 16th century adopted the name Humanist as their distinctive title.
2. One who pursues the study of the humanities, or polite literature.
3. One versed in knowledge of human nature.
4. A person with a strong concern for human welfare, especially one who emphasizes the dignity and worth of individual people, rejecting claims of supernatural influences on humans, and stressing the need for people to achieve improvement of society and self-fulfillment through reason and to develop human-oriented ethical values without theism; an adherent of humanism

No. 4 sounds too darn right. I had no idea. haha. but i guess it could apply to your belief system too.. non?

Nahnahnah- your mother told you not to aspire to be a camera operator- this site is funny for anyone who wanted to be a cam person..

Stedicam- a humorous look

Greatttt start to a new school year! Go dld these songs- dont be shy:

1)Float On- Modest Mouse (03.29)
2)Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger- Daft Punk (03.45)
3)Love Will Tear Us Apart- Joy Division (03.26)
4)Oi Oi Oi- Sex Pistols cover (03.12)
5)Stars & sons- Broken Social Scene(05.09)
6)Zombie- Cranberries (04.34)
7)Where do I begin- Chemical Bros (06.56)

Craig MT showed us Nanook(eskimos) of the Northwest which turned out to be intriguing. I mean, humans can basically survive on a few seal-skins, ice, a stone bowl and seal oil and moss- plus a diet of seal and walrus. And ingeniously live out their lives this way. We were doomed to unhappiness when we started to compare ourselves and our posessions to others. Time to question the complication of our life here and to find some purpose for it.. cause if there isnt, there's no point living longer- even with those selfish reasons we all have. Have a wanky new sem.!!!..!

Check this band out- they are looking for a female guitarist but that's not imp cause you oughto check out the music. Quite the hmm. Pseudo

Ok- FMS orientation.
Saj, Meitong and I were the station guides/slave drivers/ics/masters/whatever where we cooked up some 'Americanese Idol' thing where we made the Yr 1s gel their classmates hair and find someone who liked their hairstyles. Was a big confusion at first but Saj started to get pretty good at her job I just sat back and watched her update the Yr ones on the game & control their attention. She's good at it. Meitong went around squeezing gel and trying to make it tough for the Yr 1s to accomplish their task. I did my lazy-cow thing, handing out pieces of a puzzle for them to solve. It was a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

In close proximity to the Yr 1s, I was reminded of the first sem. All the newness of it all! What an attractive idea.. Not to mention the eye-candy... haha.. All u hum sup pors and chee kor pehs all coming out of the woodwork...

Now that one year is almost up. (imagining if I were to die today and talk to some being)It's time to review my life...

Talking to Saj, I agree with her that I do not like the person I became in the 2nd sem. my worst tendencies were brought out:
I griped about every teacher, I went back to an unhealthy lifestyle, I relapsed into solitude, depressive behaviour, and introversion, I neglected friends and ignored acquaintances. I became numbed about my passions- stopped becoming curious. In short, I became a slob and asshole.

Still, there were good things:
I had a fun job(which i lost), I volunteered and helped out at interesting events, I continued learning my music(quite an achievement- since i give up so easily), I'm satisfied with my results(though could do better), I got back into contact with my vj and sec sch friends recently (wow).

As for this sem- there's one encouragement I can give to everyone- Buck up, and live your life.!

Late night television has been growing to be a pain in the *** to watch. That's when all the slimming and boobies ads crawl out to haunt the insomniac population.

Whatever happened growing old NORMALly? blame the people born in 70s' for the spate of firming up ur titties ads- What's tt about having bouncy boobies of a porn star? Breasts are good enough on their own. You don't want inflated latex cushions. And ads are getting more conscending- "look, my boyfriend said I looked like a bouncer,", walking down streets exuding the sexuality of a animated rubber chicken- or those male ads with the 'edgy''gay' (drat!-metrosexual)hairless guy flexing his pyramidal constructs of chicken breasts-(wah so sexxy)

Advertising people dont display a tinge of humour- we mortals must really strive towards porn/gay star looks. It's really what we mean to be. But then, the bouncy boobs could come in handy when dealing with the dangerous umbrella whacking aunties on public transport... just bounce them off & have their jaws drop at the sight of my arsenal. That could be really one practical reason.

listening to: I Can't Stand it-Lou Reed

What I am doing now: eating Red Man's chocolate chips, listening to AccuRadio- High Fidelity an online internet radio station's music which has put me in a long forgotten Sunday afternoon holidayish mood, and laughing at this funny post about concrete gushing boobs from Dooce and seeing marvelous rows of patterns at Squidfingers ... and thinking: "time for a revamp on my writing blog"..

everything but what i ought to do: write scripts...:)

listening: sugar blaster- by Starlight Mints

    This is fairly overdue- but i do hate writing about stuff THAT happened, in contrast to stuff that happens only in MY HEAD. But everyone around me is 'diarying' their journal. So PAY-BACK time.

Onwards to that million ringgit question: yes, Singaporeans can sing. Pretty decently, in fact. Sg-liers aka the Soc. of most Complain' and Complacent Singaporean Morons on livejournal has suggested that the judges didnt know how to choose- bc the obviously bad have got in. Well, isnt it obvious this is entertainment- you have to have the ugly, the SCHEISSEN awful along with the divas and lookers. So u can curse and laff. Ha.Ha. Plain mediocre just doesnt quite cut the kuehkueh, love.

People in Sg must love SoundofMusic like 'kaaa-ching!'- we had cukoo clocks, alive hills, and the awful 'climb every mount.' popping out of every audition rm. at every opportunity. People were farting Josh Groban, Mariah Curry, Celine Dion, Christina Aloevera- hot favourites, man. one guy even did 'come as u are' Nirvana- pretty brave actually- but lousy.

The control rm was riot with smartasses like us critiquing, "now, put ur sticker over ur face," all these mediocre-dip-my-head-in-shame-i-sing-only-in-the-bathrm-singers. The grandmotherly photographer lady remarked to me, "William Hung must have encouraged a lot of people to join up,". She's right, you know.

I did have some fun volunteering, but it was pretty dull being a PA- tknfully all my camguys and soundmen were really great- they taught me some techie stuff- one of them soundmen Taufix, even knew Shukor way before. Pretty cool guys- they reminded me of a bunch of mat rocks.

My producer was the quiet sort. Partially, he was, like me, a bit of a fish out of water since he wasnt a MediaC guy and my classmates had all dumped me *sniff* by not going for this. I didnt really talk to the people from NTU or MassC- 'Fraid i'm not the social type. more hi-bye even wif fellow FSVians.

I had so much running around the 1st week I kind of missed 'orientation'. not the type to push it- if we stick around more we'll just get to know each other one of these days. 'Hopefully' being the key word for old grouch sometimes-I-heck-care here.

"I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello," -Beatles

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Just like my online personality. (from a friend)

   I had my first taste of pillion-riding yesterday when I took my friend's bike to a former colleague chalet bday yesterday. It was pretty fun. We were riding at speeds of 100km/h at 1am on the highway. Quite the shiokums.. 'Chiak Huang'

Sigh. I miss work. Not just meaning gainfully employed, you know, but having a little spare cash and knowing a couple of people you can talk crap wif... trade insults and flirt harmlessly with- haha.. Had really crappy food- a stinging hot sambal-smothered stingray that got everybody scrambling for the bottles of Barcardi, and a piece of hotdog- but there was free alcohol and card games.. I didnt even see the gift they bought or the cake, but the atmosphere was smooth and sedate- like a really nice bottle of hoegardden w. man, i really miss work...

"money cant buy me love.. cant buy me love.. love.."-beatles