Sunday, September 16, 2001 - 02:00 a.m.
drove into montreal with judy today. we had a great time. the open road and a barrage of tunes with a twist of ridiculous conversation provided a much needed escape from reality.
i am amazed at how long i can stay awake when i am in montreal. i swear i could go all night.. i go out with friends, come home, read a book, write a bit, practice my jackie chan moves in front of the mirror and still cannot shut down. in toronto, i can't wait to crawl into bed.
maybe it's because of my late night raids upon the junk food stash. this is what i recall seeing tonight within this famed drawer: tamarind almonds, trail mix, cajun pringles, regular *and* double stuff oreos, wafers, chocolate covered wafers, chocolate covered graham crackers, cheerios snack mix, twix, snickers and hershey bars, chocolate covered heath bites (those newfangled balled chocolates), and this does not even cover all of it. oh and did i mention the jar of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on the counter? no wonder i developed a weight problem in my late teens!
met tali for a drink tonight. i needed to get my mind off the icky/scary conversation i had with my parents about the impending war.. they completely freaked me out and i became even more paranoid than my over-active imagination had landed me on it's own.
while i don't feel like writing all these thoughs out and inducing further pancik, i will suggest reading this informative article. link stolen from digiplebes.
i wish i could fly away to the moon and give birth to a new civilization or gather my life as it stood a week ago into a bubble and settle somewhere deep under the ocean.
oh well, i can always dream....
gnite,
e.
Friday, September 14, 2001 - 11:11 p.m.
it's difficult to write lately. getting up in the morning is tough. showing enthusiasm for work is a struggle. smiling and laughing feel temporary. the news scares me so much yet i like an addict in denial, i can only go a few hours before i tune back in. the newspaper, radio, tv and internet amaze, confuse and disturb me. i can't believe the evil that has been unleashed and am more worried about the future than ever...
a week ago, my future plans focused on career goals and dreams of one day having a family of my own. nothing was clear but at least there was a focus. now it's all a blur, a black hole.
i hadn't paid attention to the tv since this afternoon's moment of silence, and when we turned it on before dinner time, the headlines had changed. gone was attack on america. before me was america's new war.
cronies, eagles and tacitical specialists are throwing around the new buzzwords. one of them is "draft." another is a "campaign." bush referred to "whipping." instead of this ridiculous rhetoric, i hear the cries of the innocent and it pains me. bombing other innocent civilians is not the answer. we all know that an eye for an eye went out of style with in the 18C b.c.
fortunately, reliable folk like michael moore have me keeping the faith. his daily e-mails reflect all that is good about the world. he marvels me with his intellect and responsible thinking.
i am going to montreal tomorrow as it's the jewish high holiday of rosh hashanna (new year) on monday - wednesday...
someone told me i should not go to synagogue because i am putting myself in danger. although i am not a religious person anymore, this kind of thinking took me by surprise. at times like these i think hope and faith are so important and because i still live in a free country, i feel compelled to celebrate that freedom and practice my religion.
having grown up jewish in montreal, i am familiar with all kinds of threats. there were many times during the gulf war when our shul had armed guards watching close. there were bomb threats and all kinds of terrible nonsense. nonetheless, solidarity is even more important during these days of rampant racism. i feel for those of arabic descent who are at the mercy of the media.
i wish i could end this on a positive but right now i am too overwhelmed.
my new buzzwords are faith, hope, peace and love.
peace and love y'all.
e.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - 04:59 p.m.
i woke up this morning with a sore throat and decided to stay in bed awhile longer. on my way out of the house, i heard on the radio that a plane had crashed into the world trade centre. we turned on the tv to cnn, mesmerized. then we saw a second plane crash into the other tower.
i drove to work with the radio on. when i came in, everyone was gathered around the tvs. all were tuned to newsworld.
i ended up going home. i was very upset and really starting to feel ill from the approaching cold.
still, not quite sure what to write. the usa is in a state of chaos brought on by terrorists. citizens on the news appear angry and vengeful. this terrifies me - it is exactly what the destructive group behind these acts wants.
e.
Sunday, September 9, 2001 - 02:01 p.m.
holy macaroni. it's september. the past few weeks have been nonstop - went to montreal for anat's wedding. it was chaos. drove in saturday. had a bbq with the fandamily, then hit up the filmfest with jen, tali and my bros. where we saw 'room to rent' - about an egyptian writer trying to extend his time in london, england. a quirky romantic comedy with juliette lewis. for once, she is very well suited to the part she plays - a strangely alluring ditz.
the next day was the wedding. i survived a whole day in heels, makeup and a baby blue dress, but just barely. anat looked gorgeous. had a great time but weddings freak me out. as do most things related to both ceremony and religion.
work has been great. lots of new challenging projects are keeping me busier than i'd like to be. not much else to report other than the same old same ole.
in honor of the toronto film fest, here is a great link care of macromatic: filmwise.
LOVE IT.
apparently adina has been dreaming about me and the dude. it's a weird thing to discover when reading someone's blog.
bye bye mon cowboy.
e.
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