It had been a while. I notice that I did it somewhat deliberately. I've been trying to turn into a wallpaper in the office. In other words, I try to avoid more responsibility and side-step any work/project that involves any decision making. I know, I know... its foolish. But for a short while I wanted to be on the back seat. You know, to assist in a project instead of becoming the driving force. And you know what? It's not working. Now that I barely have any project in hand (means I hang out at work waiting for the work hour to finish) and am very antsy.
So, it's time to pick up things again. Will have to start things and find ways to improve the service to the industry. Gah! That just sounds so serious. Well, looking at my track record. I realise that I've been working for 1 1/2 years already. So its time to take part in decision making, right...? Gah! I hate makinf decision solely because I hate making mistakes. Worse, my boss and I have a somewhat different working style. But I'm working on it. Really, I am. (BTW : Damm man hung a framed picture with the word Attitude embrossed across it on my wall :P I wonder what he's trying to tell me :D)
There, the crux on my problems. Attitude. My working attitude has always been to forge ahead despite all problems. That creates problems because of my 'forceful' character. I nag, browbeat, beg and bribe to get my projects done on time. They call it heavy handed, I call it presistance. Mwahahaha.... Have to change my working style now I guess.
Lookie, it's time to go home. See ya next week! Later...!
Love,
Julie
B4 I get into that, I'd just have to share this funny incident.
I was reading the Fushigi yuugi manga translation as I absentmindedly took a sip of water. It written, "Hmph..." Hakurou slowly crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hands with his elbows on the armrests. "Alright. In that case, Kouji and Genrou, I'll have to get you to show me what makes you a man." Hakurou is the leader of the bandits. Then it continued with, ""A man..."
Kouji looked at the leader intently. At his side Genrou started taking off his pants.
"What're ya doing~?! Don't take things so literally!" Kouji struck Genrou with a kick.
Having just watched the anime yesterday, I choked and spit the water out. My office mates watched as I choked and laughed at the same time.
Moral of the story: Don't read manga during office hours or at least next time don't drink and read.
As for those resolution, have to get back about that later. I have a meeting now. Later!
Julie
Last night I decided to watch a new anime in my collection. Due to my typical insanity, I slept at 4 a.m. knowing that I had to wake up at 6 a.m. and go to work. I shouldn't have bothered sleeping. The time would have been better spent doing arobics. I woke up feeling like my head was going to drop off my head and roll away from me. I slept in the train only to awaken at KL Sentral.
I walked out of the building wishing that I had brought my sun glasses. The light, God, the light was blinding. I squinted against the bright light and hurried across to my office. I clocked in, switched on my pc, picked up my facial wash and hid in the prayer room. I set my alarm clock to ring at 8.30 a.m. and napped. The 1/2 an hour nap revived me somewhat. Washed my face and did the primping thing that I do.
Concerned office mates asked if I was sick. Looking at the mirror, I was not suprised. I looked like death warmed over.
Lately I felt guilty as I spend a lot of time in the office doing the little stuff and reading other stuff that has no association with my work. I guess since my workload has lighten, I feel restless. Yup, that's me, type A-. Work hard, play hard. Argh, meeting tomorrow....! I don't look forward becoming the dept. rep. Well, if the work is going to be mine, might as well attend the briefing.
I'm just rambling about work. GTG. Time to go home, yeah!!!
Love,
Julie
Yesterday all the bosses of my floor was on leave. That means that the door is locked and there was no way for any of us to get to our 'workstations'. Some decided to hang out at other departments, others decided to go about their personal business. Niza and I wandered over to KL Sentral and have coffee at Starbucks. It was 10.30 a.m., everyone was working and there we were sitting around drinking coffee and having breakfast.
Back from troubleshooting :P
We return to the office only to find out that the door is still locked. We cooled our heels for another 1/2 an hour until the senior exec. appear with the keys. Poor dude, he wanted to take EL but we forced him to come to work or else...
IT troubleshooting of the month
I was catching up with work when a call from downstairs came in. They had some problem printing. Knowing that sometimes people who are less IT savvy might magically change their pc settings, I had to run down and check things out. With things on my desk and reports to read, I am not a happy camper.
Knowing that the IT department is understaffed and I had to assist didn't help. Grrr...... So I quickly went down to see what was wrong. The PC settings was OK. So maybe its the printer. No offence but the Brother printer at work is somewhat high maintainence. I looked at the printer only to be approached by N, a clerical staff. N as a rule tries my patience cause it takes 1/2 an hour to get the story out of her on what is the IT problem that she is facing. (Of course as I listen to her ramble, I was mentally pulling my hair).
"Lily, I think the printer is faulty," she announced.
"Hmm..., what makes you say that," I said while I look at the printer, noticing that it was OFF.
"Well, I turn it on but it was not usable. You can only use this printer for Ms. X's desk," she explained.
Where is Ms. X?" I asked as she switched the printer on.
"She's on leave."
That was when I notice that the printer light was not on. I tilted my head and stared at the printer puzzled. Wait a minute... N went to her pc and tried to print. I looked at the power socket. It was switched on, but there was no power to the printer. So I knelt down and pressed the plug head so that it was properly plugged in. Instantly the printer was switched on and started printing.
"..." I growled.
"Wow! What did you do??" N asked as she walked back to the printer.
"I made sure that the power plug was properly inserted into the power point..??!!" I said holding back laughter.
"So if it happens again, what should I do?" N asked with a straight face.
"..." *blank look* I wondered if she was kidding but still she waited for my answer.
"You check the power point...???"
Back from network TS
Walked upstairs and ranted to Niza. Why God, why?? Why does this one particular staff bedevils me? I had piles of work and had to put them on hold just to plug in the power point properly. I mean, what in the world?? What happened to common sense? If the printer light is off, it means it has no power. Go la check your damm power point. Don't call me to baby sit you!!!!!!!! It's getting annoying! Call me for everything from wrong PDF conversion to missing files from network to strange MS Word formats. I do technical troubleshooting not teach you how to use MS Office. And I have various projects pending too.. *sigh*
it!!!!
Not so long ago, I told a girlfriend's boyfriend that I considered him an 'it'. It is defined as a genderless human being. He felt insulted. He was a man. Yeah, like I wouldn't notice *rolls eyes*. I guess I misspoke or misrepresented myself. What I meant was he had no ego problams typical to typical Malay men. In other words, he had no problems with my outspokeness nor with my intelligence.
He doesn't try to outspeak me, outsmart me or ambush me with stupid 'smart' questions. With him, we speak like normal human beings. Unlike other males, they try to compare ba11$ with me. Look I am girl, there is no ba11$ anywhere on me. I do what I do and if you think that challanges your manhood, tough.
Both he and I share the same tacky sense of humor of which his girlfriend will just roll her eyes at. And its like having another brother around. It's cool. And despite all attempts from both the boy and girl, no I still maintain that all they do together is hold hands :P So there, I've explained. And I apologise :P
Time to get together and count our blessings
Last night we had a surprise birthday party for a YCCian. Yes, we know who. I was somewhat gloomy after that upsetting phone call. Petty @##$%&*! Luckily, when I met up with everyone things became better. We talked and laughed and when I look around, I count my blessings. There is nothing like having friends to share you happiness and sorrows with. To distract your from gloomy thoughts and emotions.
Sometimes you'd be pi$$3d off at each other and go into a time out. But then more often then not, you hang out together. Best of all, you don't have to call all the time to keep in touch, you know that they are there. Always. So when you have some down time, you call up/IM/e-mail them. You read their blogs/LJs and feel secure in the knowladge that someone out there cares. There :P A tribute to the friends that stick together throught thick and thin over many years.
GTG, need to read reports :P Ugh! You know what I mean.
Love,
Julie
How does one politely tell a man to go and hang himself? Technically, I'm am at peace with myself. But that one ache refuse to completely heal. The joke is on me cause, how far and long he hurts me is indeed my decision. As Hani said, "Look don't keep grudges. If you don't let go of the pain, it remains."
Today an old friend called up. She told me a block mate in KMS is getting married really2 soon. The first emotion that went through me was relief, then extreme satisfaction. Tell me, if I do love this man, why do I rejoice in his misery/pain? I guess I feel bad for feeling happy that he's hurt. I wanted him to feel my pain. It's insane I know.
Not so long ago, I vowed to move on. Not to let this temporary insanity hold me back. I guess it's difficult. Especially when the temporary lasted almost 5 odd years. Now who's the BAKA now? I want to cry. I don't have to justify why. I just do. Baka.
Tonight, I will celebrate his pain and mine. Maybe today I'd learn to move on. Maybe... Life possibilities are infinite isn't it? I hate heartaches but occasionally well meaning people seem to remind me of it. I'd like to think that I'd pick up a ciggy in one hand and a stiff drink in another and say, "To hell with him." But I know that hurting myself will not heal the pain either.
Well, well... What else is there to say??
Love,
Julie
As someone mention, with all the drama and tragedy, I should be writing a blasted romance novel. Unfortunately, in my life right now the plot thickens....
I have a cousin a year younger to myself. We were close when we were growing up. I was the leader of our pack. (That also means that I'm responsible for all the children younger to me.) As we grew up and apart, whenever we do get together, we exchange news about school, boys and whatever else that goes on in our life.
As I have a somewhat low profile as far as relationships goes (I go to girls school and my parents were very strict with the people that I mix with), we usually talk about my other cousins and their boyfriends. So I know that Fad had a long term boyfriend.
Imagine my suprise when I found out that she was getting engaged tomorrow. My jaw just hit the floor. This girl was just what...? 23 this year? Someone asked her parents if she was available, and they said yes. My bewildered cousin, told her parents that she was not ready. So they told her that she would just have to meet the guy, it was her final decision.
And they met, and he liked her. More importantly, her family liked him. *sigh* It is the makings of a disaster. Since her boyfriend was still studying, he told her to accept the other guy. And here I was still pondering over her getting engaged...
I called and talked to her younger sister. She was ok, or so they say. When I talked to her, it seems that she felt like she was run down by a car. Everything happened so quickly that she had no idea what was going on. First they said it was just a meeting, then they 'urged' her to accept, when she talked to her (useless) boyfriend, he told her to move on. Now she is getting engaged to a total stranger and with the possibility of getting married very soon. Stuff of nightmares for a young girl, I swear.
I was at loss. I am useless when it comes to romance and the affair of the heart. What do I tell her? How do I pacify her? What would I do in her shoes? *cries* I hate it when I don't know what to do. I know that she is scared witless. So I told her to ask her older brother to speak on her behalf. To negotiate some time for her to get used to her future husband. (The thought of a husband scares the crap out of me, if it's a total stranger, I'd cry.)
I'm worried. Life is moving way too fast. I need to freak out and cool down. OMG! OMG! OMG! *inhales* *exhales* Ok, a selfish part of me dread the dartted formal engagement and wedding. The stupid question is going to be asked since I'm older. I want to move away from this country!!!!
One of the saddest things that she asked/told me was, "I guess it doesn't matter who you are in love with, you don't always marry them anyway, right?" And I had to do some tip toeing around that loaded question. Yes, you don't always marry the person you are in love with. But as you marry this new person, and committ yourselves to this marriage, it will work out in the end. The beauty of a human's heart is the capacity to love. If both of you give up the past unfulfilled romance and decide to build a life together, it will work out. All you need is a committment.
Smooth Julie, but does it work in real life? I honestly don't know. It takes two to tango, get my drift?? Trust me, office romances between married people are nothing but self indulgence. Yes, she/he might understands you the most at work, but if you are committed to your marriage, you'd realise that all these are temporary chemistry. Something that comes and goes when as time goes on.
There are times that I am attracted to married/engaged/unavailable men, but I respect their committment and stay away. Two wrongs don't make a right. Hence why I say, arranged marriage can work. If both of you let go of past romances, resentments and whatever else that might pose a risk to your future relationship. If you know that you cannot, then for God sakes tell someone, convey the message to the other half. End it before it even begins. Its cruel to ruin each other's life down the road.
I'm tired, its late. Good night.
Love,
Julie
