Julie's Gripe Page

Last weekend, my childhood friend dropped a bomb on me. She smsed saying, "Julie, I'm getting engaged next weekend." My first reaction was, "WHAT.....!!!!!!!!!!!" For a moment, time stood still. I'm not the easiest person to suprise. But this time, I had to retrieve my jaw from the floor.

My best friend since I was 8 is going to get married. I just can't seem to get that out of my mind. My mind went back to the time when we used to play dolls and pc games together. This is that person whom I used to share girlish secrets/dreams with, without fear of redicule back then. We hangout a lot. Our parents knew each other well, I was practically a second daughter to them. I went on a holiday with them.

Some say, "What's the big deal? People get married so what?" Sure, you marry when you grow up. Not now. Sure, I'm 23 years old and all but marriage at this point is .... rediculous. It's like playing house or something. Okay, am freaking out. It seems 23 is an adult's age. How come nobody told me that. I mean, sure Dad nagged me about growing up but what does he know. Hmm..., *looks at brother* Wait a minute..., I'm infected with the same virus that my brother has.

Peter Pan virus. The symptoms are things like..., the inability to grow up other than physically/biologically. Awwww, what should I do now? I feel that I'm a tad too young to date seriously. Sure, I want to have a boyfriend, get married and have a family..., some day, in a time far, far away from now. Ugh, I confess, I fear relationships. I have a thing about commitment. A mild allergy thing.

The sultry seductive Julie, flees like the hound of hell at her heels, as soon as she is pursued. I mean it's one thing to pursue someone but to be chased after gives me goosebumps *shivers*. Sure, I flirt but that's safe cause I know that most of the time I'll never see that person again. Hence the end of every relationship that ever got started, never longer then... 3 weeks??? What is wrong with me?? Why is it that I fear relationships so much?? Curiouser and curiouser....

Sure Mom and Dad repeatedly tell me not to make 'the' mistake. When Mom found out that I was kinda in like with some guys, she pouted for weeks until I talked her out of it. I had to repeatedly assure her that I'm not going to marry that dude tomorrow and no his parents aren't monsters.

When Dad found out (curse Pet for telling, that blabber mouth), he muttered about reporgramming me. He started to bring up financial issues that marriage brings, the responsibility, the blah blah, yap yap. I just like someone and they acted as if we are getting married tomorrow. I'm sure they didn't mean to be unsupportive about it but all I ever hear is the 'not fun' part of a relationship. What is a girl to do?

Hmmm.... so that's where all the fear come from. I really need to sort this out before I completely destroy another relationship. One of the first mistake this nice guy I was dating did was that he mention that I'd make a wonderful wife. WIFE?????? That just killed the whole relationship, we were just learning to know each other and suddenly marriage??!! I'd just freak if another man mention that M word to me again.

Look at the time, I need to do maintainence. Bah humbug. I'm on leave tomorrow. I have a Mehindi ceremony to attend. A married friend is finally going to do the whole enchilda of wedding ceremony and invited me to attend. Plus I sorta promised to sing. Heh ^_^ Bole Chudiya. Gah, practice, must practice. Later!!

Love,
Julie