For many years, I tend to swallow all sort of crap that people throw at me. It's call tolerance, turning the other cheek and being merciful. However, I tend to notice, that lately, I have less and less patience in dealing people who makes my life difficult. Especially when it's work related.
Yesterday was very annoying to the extreme when someone decided no wash their hands off some troubleshooting for some flimsy reason. I also notice that some of us more burdened execs are becoming more and more prone to anger during the course of our work. Who wants to bet that is has a lot to do with work stress?? While some people are contented to just watch life goes by. rofl. I am very angry today.
I was told to take some work from a workmate by my boss. I went up to her and told her that the boss has commanded that I take the thing from her so that I can finish my overdue report. It ended badly as that not very smart person, hands it to the boss expecting the boss to pass it to me. >_____< Which universe did she come from??? Expecting the boss to hand things to me? Two weeks later when the boss asks me for the project, I told him that Ms. X hasn't given me the work that she is suppose to. Lets just say that he was not pleased.
Look I really really want to be nice to everyone. But I'd just rather not have a knife in my back if you don't mind. I am working and so are you. Can we just work in harmony? What in the world is going in your mind, you little pank!? *screams* WTF!!!!!!!
Now don't come around here expecting me to be nice. Because I am not that stupid. Nor am I that forgiving given that you just stabbed me in the back. Right now I am so pi$$ed that I want to give you a nice Juliana style dressing down. Which wouldn't help matters. All I can do now is to just wait till the anger subsides. I expect you to honor our friendship bond. We are friends before we are workmates. This means that I don't really mean anything to you except for a means to an end. The buck stops her, hon. I can't take it any more. It has been 1 1/2 years already. And you keep on doing the same shyte.
I give up. We are no longer friends. Now we are merely workmates. I hope you like this better cause it seems to me that this is what you want.
I am tired, I have miles and miles of to do list at work. You screwing with me is not easy for me to swallow. Especially when I keep my silence instead of venting my frustrations. You are not helpful when its your job to know. Worse, I don't know is not an answer. You are suppose to know. Grr...... You make my blood boil.
I am so angry now that I can breath fire.
Later ppl.
Julie
PS: Name no names here. It would be very indiscrete of me otherwise.
When ppl asked if I was lonely, being single, I'd have to pause and reflect. Technically, I don't think I an alone by accident, it was a very deliberate, self-imposed action. However, being alone does not mean that you are lonely. I am sure, many of you, gentle reader, have felt lonely while partying in a group. I know that I have.
Now days, I rarely sought for people's company except for the selected few. Not because I intend to alienate my friends, but to keep my equilibrium. Unfortunately, I am easily upset and over-balanced.
That brings us to my avoidance of any romantic relationship. The problem with knowing how low you can spiral to, during depression, is that you learn to find ways to make sure that you're never hurt again. For fear of falling back into the abyss. Drowning in pain is not fun and if you are as emotionally sensitive as I am, you'd avoid it.
A few very good friends had told me, "But life is painful." I'd say, I know that. Life in general has its ups and downs. Sometimes you're happy, occasionally you feel sad. Unfortunately, I find it hard to convince my heart to open up to potential relationships.
Given my upbringing, this is not a big surprise. My father had told me often enough that marriage can be a big mistake. Funnily enough, he also taught us to honor our vows and responsibility. That if you think to get a divorce to think of the children. The hardship that they have to suffer, paying for your mistakes. When put that way, how can one make a lifetime decision lightly?
Tell me, am I being too picky? Do I think too much? Maybe, maybe I am more worried about the future then I look. Someone told me, who to say that the child will suffer or not. We all suffered growing up pains, one way or another. Mmmm... I have to think about this.
Until next time, later....
Love,
Julie.
I seem to be in the mood for this attitude it seems :)
