Today I have a sore throat. Despite that I could talk normally. Except I feel that there's a lump in my throat and it tickles. Lime juice seems to help though. Blagh!
don't have anything wise to say except "Life Royally Sucks When You Are Powerless." These are the moments I understand why God Almighty did not give me any magic power. I would have decimate a few stupid chest banging 'who's the Alpha Male' males and shameless hussies. Except one of the hussy actually belanja me lunch today. Am so confused:(
I seek only my bed. I'm confused. I can't think. Never mind. Later!
Love,
Julie.
Don't have much to say about my ongoing life. So ar smooth sailing *touches wood*. Having terrible temper nowdays. It's mostly triggered when ppl ask questions about things I find stupid. Like, "Why you writing about love?" Because I just read a nice Japanese romance comic. It's sweet and adorable. Unfortunately, somthing else happen before I could finish that entry and it turns to $hit.
Yesterday was watching CSI. I was home alone, when one of the character said, "The answer lies in the wind." By some srange coincidence, a big strong, sweeps everyting away, wind blew through the house. Creepy. Especially when the wind was strong enough to produce the creepy ghostly sound.
What I have on my mind right now is, how far should I care about my friends. Close friends. A part of me fear to give in to my instincs and tell the TRUTH, unvarnished. What if he/she takes it badly? What if that person crumbles after my potentially harsh comment? The other part of me wants to keep the harsh reality away from them. For a small moment when they are with me, I don't want them to worry or worse feel the pain that they have to face everyday. Just for a small part of my time, protect them from what hurts them the most.
Crappy, huh? There are moments that I held my peace since I don't want to destroy such precious friendship. And for all the tea in China, I am the opposite of perfect myself. I don't have any illusion about my imperfections. Yes, I can be grumpy (most of the time), insane (most of the time), stubborn (most of the time) and the only escape I could find is to hide away from my friends. Like someone said, "Geez, he really look good in the dark. But in the light he doesn't look so hot."
I try to hide the not 'hot' part of me by seclusion. I punish my incapability to converse civilly with ppl by sitting in a room alone. "If you refuse to behave yourself, I wouldn't let you go out and play." Sadly enough, even that didn't work. So I store my happy moods for the time that I go out with my friends and keep the darkness hidden for that small corner of my soul. Maybe there's more that one me. Who knows?
Sorry, didn't mean to rant about that. I suggest that you ignore the entry above. It's stupid anyway. But this is my ranting ground??? Later!!!
Love,
Julie
"When the world crashes down....."
Warhahaha, nothing happened. Honestly. Silence is gold but sometimes that same gold can be punishing. Depends on who you ask. Have a lot of work and yet been surfing the whole morning long. Downloaded the LOTR: Return of the King trailer. Watched with Niza. Couldn't wait to watch the movie.
Meet up with CM for lunch and she said that I have psycho for friends. I guess bird a feather flock together. Had a good night sleep since I no longer burn midnight candle to finish projects.
Am searching for the truth but sometimes there's truth in lies. But then what differenciate the truth from lies? They are merely words anyway. Don't forget that the truth lies also in one's prespective. When truth and lies collide, the only thing left in your hands are ashes. Should I be the Phoenix that rises from its own ashes.
To say something and to believe in what you say is so easy. Self-deception is so easy cause the only one you need to fool is yourself. Then you become convinced of the lie it becomes your truth. But when the truth comes out and the only person you hurt is yourself. It's so easy to destroy yourself through self-deception.
Piety, selflessness, all the virtue in the world could be implanted into your subconcious and it becomes your truth. You become rightous and start to preach to others. But when your rose-colored glasses break, you only see fragments of your ideals and the harsh truth is reveled.
Humans can be so self-destructive sometimes.
Love,
Julie.
