(Tuesday, November 11, 2003, 08:23 a.m.)
Dear ppl,
Okay, I'm getting more and more political ppl. I mean, I'm not joining any political party of any sorts. I'm not even going to create my own political party. As far as I'm concern, I can nag my head off but still not make any difference. So I dedicate myself on reading more about the world politics and hope to find all those obsecure websites that makes sense but in no way like the BBC, CNN and etc which is slightly more controled then this tiny websites.
I found a good link that ppl who is interested in the Palastine issue. http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/358477.html
It gives me another perspective of the whole story.
Here's another link on the Iraq issue.
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1068463591544&call_pageid=968332188854&col=968705899037
By the way, there are newly developed blogs in the war torn Iraq is some of you want to visit. http://healingiraq.blogspot.com/. It provides links to all other blogs. Word of caution: this ppl are mainly middle class people or at least upper middle class I think. I don't know. You ask them.
There you go. If you ppl wonder if I'm going to start a revolution and take over the world next. Well, that is so wrong. As one friend once told me, I care too much. I find solace in God as I walk through this part of my life, hurting. And when I no longer so self absorbed, I realise that there's a lot of things that I should be more concerned about. Wallowing in self-pity is so pathetic that I disgust myself. I hope people understand my need to care and take care of the world.
At least, in the end, when there's nothing left in my life I can at least say that I genuinely make a difference. I don't want to waste my life in selfish persuit. Isn't that just so righteous? Gah, I make myself sick!
Julie.
(Monday, November 10, 2003, 10:23 a.m.)
Who'd fall apart without you
Yeah you broke my heart for the first time
But I'll get over that too
It's hard to find the reasons
Who can see the rhyme?
I guess that we where seasons out of time
I guess you didn't know me
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry
No not me, not I, not I, no not me, not I
The story goes on without you
And there's got to be another ending
But yeah you broke my heart it won't be the last time
But I'll get over them too
As a new door opens we close the ones behind
And if you search your soul I know you'll find
You never really knew me
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the flaws between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry
No not me, not I, not I, not I, not I
All you said to me
All you promised me
All the mystery never did believe
No I never cry no I never not me not I
If you think love is blind
That I wouldn't see the floors between the lines
Surprised that I caught you out
On every single time that you lied
Did you think that every time I see you I would cry No not I, I won't cry
No not me, not I, not I
(Monday, November 10, 2003, 09:59 a.m.)
Dear ppl,
Okay, I'm blogging because my pc is installing someting so, I shouldn't feel guilty. Even when some project is due to finish last Friday. Don't matter that it was assigned to me last minute. By golly, I shall finish them today. This is so depressing Am currently lazily flicking through my uni's linear algebra. Why?? Cause I can feel my brain cells dying due to lack of use. I'm beginning to pick up philosophy and theology books again. Ugh!! So disgusting to lower myself that far... I hate those boring dry topic in this books. The problem is that I have to feed my starving brains something or it will turn vegetable on me:p
Hmmmm..... Hmmmm..... Oh.... I can't help it! *bangs head on the wall* I'm suppose to occupy myself. I hate thinking about what should be's and what could be's. Right now the mp3 is playing, "Someday, We'll know" by Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman. Benci!!!! Tak suka!!! Can't change the song since I have office/room mate.
In life, sometimes I walk in the dark wondering if the reason I cannot see is caused by 1. My in-ability to see (blindness) or 2. There's no light shinnig at all. Argh!!!!!!!!! That song! "It only hurts when I'm breathing." Bugger you! I keep on looking back, dammit! Az, has been trying to talk me through this trying time. I just try to make excuses to forgive. I'm a bloody addict. Except this time I MUST stop. I cannot be the pathetic loser who keep on coming back for more torture. Dammit, I want to throw the stupid PC off the building. The mp3 is getting worse.
*howls*
Julie
And the hauntsmen left with empty hands.
(Friday, November 7, 2003, 09:34 a.m.)
Dear ppl, I have nothing to say. But I'll end up saying something anyway. Better stop. Am neglecting work.
SHANIA TWAIN
It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing
Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone,
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on,
It's not so bad--I'm not that sad.
I'm not surprised just how well I survived,
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive,
I can't complain--I'm free again,
Chorus:
And it only hurts when I'm breathing,
My heart only breaks when it's beating,
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming,
So, I hold my breath--to forget,
Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back--as a matter of fact
Repeat Chorus
What a moron. I hate this phase when I have the strongest urge to turn back. Back to comfort, it might hurt but at least I on familiar teritory. Stupid *bangs head on the wall*
Lily.
