Today was crazy to the boot. Was talking to plently of ppl. My stubborn know it all mercenary, my ex-SOLer friend (hehehe, he constantly try to seduce me to the dark side) and a couple more. Then the issue of jealousy arises. I as a rule hate being jealous. It's usually over nothing of significant.
Then I went down to do my laundry. And watched King of Queens. And the issue that underlays the topic was.... jealousy. ROFL. And the wife was jealous over her husband's love for their mutual friend's girlfriend's cooking. And although most of you will just laugh it over, it makes sense in a screwy sort of way.
Cause a woman like to think that her man's need is fullfilled by only her. I mean its one thing to go out and eat, that is impersonal. But for him to go over to the friend's place for dinner.. No, no, no. big no, no.
It's not the issue of trust. Both of them know that they can trust each other. But the fact that he prefers another woman's cooking... is just bad. Cause a girl would like to know that she is it. Cause you choose her over anyone else. Does that make sense?
I find my jealousy to be amusing. It makes me pout, stamp my feet and whine. But deep inside I'd know it was nothing. That the person worthy of my trust wouldn't do anything to betray that. All the same.... now I understand the torment that Maz went through when I teasingly told her that I want to chase after her BF.
Then there was one particular conversation that I had with both T-boy and Hani. About girls who like to hide their boyfriend from their friends. I mean if you are really buddies and you trust your boyfriend and friend, why hide him?? Is he such a slut then? Or maybe she is :P
Logically, the above statement is true. But the emotion is such a primitive instinct. It grabs you by the throat and shock the heck out of you. And leaves you reeling from it :)
Would you trust your man?
Sure I would. And I also want him to wear a chastity belt ;) rofl. Seriously, it wouldn't be him who I worry about. It's that other phantom woman who can see what a wonderful person my man is. LOL.
Why can't men look at other girls?
The same reason why they wouldn't like us looking/admiring other men :P
What would ease a woman's jealousy?
Only security will do that. If she knows that you love her. And despite all those sexy, pretty, nice and friendly girls out there, you choose to be with her. Then she has no worries. At least I wouldn't. Maybe... I hope.. lol If a girl is irrationally jealous, there is no help there. Sorry.
There. I hope this solves it all. Or maybe not.
Later ppl...
Love
Julie
Today, one of the vendors gave our company a small lunch party in the office. They are our somewhat longtime vendor and I know most of the IT ppl personally. I was working on one of the IT projects not so long ago. There was one particular man that became a good friend. We never call each other and stuff. But when he comes over and work at the office, we would rib at each other casually. It's like having an occasional joking partner.
Today he was the one who hosted the party. LOL. And the first question that he blurted outwas, "Why are you so quiet?" I merely smiled and quietly said, "That I am turning over a new leaf and keeping a low profile." He laughed and nodded but later ask some of my office mates for the reason. I guess its just not believable that someone so vivacious and lively would suddenly become quiet.
This was not the first time I was told this nor will it be the last time. The truth is, it is difficult to maintain a high profile and not be targeted. I used to have 8 projects at hand running at the same time. I stayed back for long hours and sometimes even brought work home. but I loved it. I enjoyed hard work and the outcome of that hard work. It's beautiful to see each of the project completed so succesfully. Esp after all the long hours and the hard work that I put into it.
Quite recently, my boss and I had some words. I don't lie to my boss about my work. If I cannot finish things in time, I say so and I'll state the reason why. I am very professional. But after my boss heatedly asked me for the 5th time what I was doing the whole morning, it was the last straw on the camel's back. I kept my calm and repeated my answer. Seing that he couldn't crack me, he stopped the interrogation. I was allowed to finish the current project.
For the past few months, the work stress level at work was increasing. The more stressed out I get, the more quiet I became at work. I even suffered from chest pains. I had not time to take a short jaunt anywhere to say hello to my officemates. I come to work, sometimes remember to make some tea or coffee, start working at the PC, skips lunch to surf net and work till 5.30 p.m. And leaves.
Its a 180 degrees change from a very cheerful and friendly Julie to a quiet and grave Julie. But I can't seem to help it. After being tortured for so long, I felt myself breaking. So I took refuge in my gaming. I worked hard there. Use all my abilities to help ppl. Because I feel bad without a purpose. I don't like being told that I am slacking when I was bending myself backwards to accomodate ppl. I don't mind if you don't appriciate me. But for you to slap me upside down after I put all my effort into my work. That is just cold.
So now I come to work. Do what I have to do and go home. There is no longer any passion for work. Isn't it horrible that I let him destroy my love for my work? Maybe I am weak that way. Who knows?
GTG. Later pp.
Love,
Julie
LOL! The Earth 2025 server ended on the 30th May and was suppose to re-start the game on the 1st of June. Unfortunately, they forgot to reset the server. This had cause massive withdrawal symptoms from many player, including yours truely. ROFL *dies laughing* Yesterday, I keep on going to the website to check if the server had been reset so I can create a contry.
Some of the senior member of our clan was a tad relieved to be honest. It gives them more time to finish all the admin work. After being reminded about that, I have to admit, I am relieved somewhat. I am a Team Leader for the mercs (new clan members) now and some are giving me some headaches over it.
I find War Modding to be easier then TLing. I come to the war chat, find targets, have them hit and kills and after 2 hours or so, I can leave without a single qualm. As a mercs TL, I need to look out for them. My team members are mostly new to this game (by my request) and I don't want them to flaunder around wondering what to do.
During war, I can sleep, latest at midnight. As a TL, I am lucky if I get to track down all my mercs by 1 AM. We live in different time zones but so far they are very co-operative. You know me, all or nothing sort. *shrugs* It's fun :)
Other then that, I have my night classes. I have another 1 1/2 years left or 7 papers left to do. I enjoy the classes but well... the exam is another story :P I currently have to read up 6 chapers for mid-terms and prepare introduction to my group project paper. Note to self: Prepare a schedule!!!
Gosh, I miss all those menicure and pedicure trips with the girls. Gossiping over coffee. I miss going for facials. I miss being pampered my a beautician. Bah bah bah :P All my money going to my student loan :P *curses student loan* I should go to menicure and pedicure at least. *sighs* How on earth will I fit all this into my schedule?? BTW work, school, Earth, SOL and catching up with my friends... >____<
*Looks at calender and sighs*
Later ppl.
Love,
Julie
The RPG was really fun ^.^ So I share the story here :)
Game Master's Comment
Whoosh! What a day yesterday. It was difficult, for a variety of reasons I'd rather not talk about, but the game was, according to what the players said, fun!
We began with a cantina scene (always fun, the cantina scene), and went on from there. There were some problems with the GM screen I had improvised for the situation (it turns out that laminated A4 paper IS too floppy. Hmm), but we soldiered on.
Despite the many, many lapses of attention from our ADD-afflicted brethren in here. Yes, you know who you are.
Memo to self -- pizza is NOT enough; what we REALLY need is a constant and immense supply of munchies. Ah, yes, addendum to memo number one: find some OTHER way of getting players to pay for munchies, since despite everything I tried, RPing IS detrimental to my financial health T_____T.
Anyway! There were plenty of battles, and the most memorable one had Maz's character, 'Doc', holding a tied up and captured opponent by the throat over an elevator shaft. Very Batman-esque. And was kind of spoiled by U-Jin's character, who decided to tickle 'Doc' and cause the unfortunate mook's plummet into the shaft. Deed done, he shot the poor bastard, in case he was still alive.
I gave him two Dark Side Points for that.
Summary by Game Master with my addition to actually finish the first scene.
Characters
Nina -- "Imnah", Human Fringer. (Ship Crew - Waitress)
Juli -- Dagga, Human Soldier.
U-Jin -- Toba Akhtar, Mon Calamari Scout.
HANI -- Trov Anini, Twi'lek Scoundrel
Maz -- Doc, Wookie Tech Specialist (Ship Crew - Boucer)
SCENE: In a dark and smokey cantina. The sound of voices mixed with the music of live rapper. There is a distinct scent of filth and alchohol mixed. A lame tush Rodian Rapper is on the stage entertaining the patron of the cantina. The ship captain is sitting at one corner table having his dinner.
RODIAN RAPPER: I'm a rapper!
AUDIENCE: OUR COLLECTIVE AURAL SENSES!!!
TROV: Wow, the Rodian guy looks like 50 cent. I have a chubby.
AUDIENCE: OUR COLLECTIVE IMAGINATIONS!!!!!
TOBA: I'm desperate! Does anyone want to have sex with someone who smells vaguely like vinegar?
CROWD: Hell, no, sistah!
TOBA: Aww. Well, I'll just look desperate and ask the Captain if he wants a blow job.
CAPTAIN: (from far) No thank you! I have a wife and kids!
TOBA: I'll pretend to not have heard that!
Enter an angry first mate into the cantina.
GM: Roll for your Spot and Listen skill.
Result : Wookie is oblivious, Dagga can only spot the fight, Imnah and Trov can both hear and see what is going on.
ANGRY FIRST MATE: I'm angry! And obviously a bigot! And I look like Liam Neeson!
IMNAH: Can I suck your cock?
AFM: No.
IMNAH: Not even a little?
AFM: NO. Now bugger off, I'm going to have words with the captain.
IMNAH: Then I shall stick near the both of you, since I find you both unaccountably arousing.
AFM and CAPTAIN: Don't you have work to do?
IMNAH: I shall pretend to be clearing the plates from your meal, captain!
CAPTAIN: But I'm not done with it!
IMNAH: But don't you need a fresh drink? I shall clear the table and fetch a drink for you!
CAPTAIN: Er, thank you--
IMNAH: Very slowly. Yeesssss, sirrrr, veryyyy slooowwwllly....
AFM: Stop stealing the thunder! I shall rant and rave angrily, attracting the attention of EVERYONE except the bouncers.
"DOC": Raargh. I shall sulk and brood. I'm a doctor, not a bouncer! Stupid Humans.
TREKKIES: Stone the heretic! Stone the heretic!
NARRATOR: Do you guys even understand Shyriiwook?
TREKKIES: Is that like Klingon?
NARRATOR: No. Fuck off.
TREKKIES: Awww.
Dagga wants to know what the fight was about, unfortunately he is a lousy communicator and the GM misunderstood. So on to what happens next.
DAGGA: I'm so bored I shall push this waiter! To start a fight! *pushes*
WAITER: Owww! I'm so sorry sir! Please forgive me!
DAGGA: No! You're stupid little @#$%^&*!!
WAITER: Indeed I am, kind sir! Thank you for bringing it to my attention!
DAGGA: I hate you! How dare you @#$%^&*!!!! (rants)
WAITER: Oh, no! Is there anything I can do as recompense, sir?
DAGGA: Fight me, you idiot! I’m trying to start a bar fight! Can’t you see??
WAITER: What?
DOC (FINALLY bloody notices, and approaches the WAITER and DAGGA): Is there a problem?
DAGGA: (to the narrator) Can I understand Shyriiwook?
NARRATOR: Yep.
DAGGA: Right. None of your business, you walking carp-- (
AFM draws his blaster, and points it at the captain)
ONLOOKER: OMG! A BLASTER!
NARRATOR: Roll Initiative!
IMNAH: I'm going under the table!
FANGIRLS: EEEE! Orlando's gonna suck off the captain!
NARRATOR: You do realize that the captain is a blue-skinned red eyed alien, right?
FANGIRLS: EEEE! teh Eksotik Alien Seks!
NARRATOR: Can you believe these girls? I mean--
A FANGIRL: I have an oekaki pic of dear Imny and Cappy sharing the love!
OTHER FANGIRLS: Double EE!
ANOTHER FANGIRL: I have fan-fiction!
OTHER FANGIRLS: *squees*!
NARRATOR: I give up.
Dagga to narrator: Can I throw something to the AFM??
NARRATOR: Sure.
Dagga lifts a heavy glass and throws it at the AFM. It went wide and missed. The Captain got smart and ran off 10 meters away or so from AFM.
Wookie the dumb shmuck that he is decided to fight Dagga instead if saving the Captain. But I figured that he still hasn’t noticed the Captain and AFM arguing.
Trov decided to go tiw tiw at the AFM but it missed. The AFM returned the compliment and knocked him out cold.
NARRATOR: You are out for 3 turns.
EVERYONE: What!!???
Imnah then decided to get out from under the table. And protects the Captain. Dagga wriggled from the Wookie’s loving embrace and hid behind the waiter. FINALLY realizing that the Captain is in danger he went and attacked the AFM. So Dagga decided to join in the fun by rushing and hitting the AFM.
NARRATOR: Roll and lets see what happens.
*rolls die*
NARRATOR: ROFLMAO!! Your attack FAILED so terribly that you practically BOUNCED off the AFM.
Dagga : *growls* Stupid die.
The wookie saves the day by knocking the AFM out. Joy, joy!
Result of the wookie saving the day:
Imnah: Hehe… I am so into the wookie now.
Dagga: No :P He is mine!
Wookie: Heh! No worries there is enough wookie to go around.
Dagga: *face palms*
That's it. Cause I am way to lazy to write anymore. LOL
Love,
Julie
Not sure about the love though ;)
Tangent thought
My life currently is very stressful. It's amazing to see that I can still roll out of bed cheerful every morning. I guess, prolonged exposure to stress makes you accept it as a part of your life. And the result>> my hand tremors are becoming worse. I no longer take caffine cause it makes me bounce off walls and my handwriting to look like @#$%^&*!!! ^.^
There, I've update on my current status.
Love,
Julie.
PS: Adversity makes you stronger, provided it doesn't break/kill you first.
