Julie's Gripe Page

Family relationship can be complex and difficult. Especially so when you are of the same gender, i.e. mother-daughter or father-son. Its constantly difficult for us to speak in the same language when we are of different generation. Mothers as a rule are more lenient towards their sons and fathers are towards their daughters.

Maybe because deep inside, they expect their same gender children to follow their footsteps, or avoid their mistakes or achive some sort of expectations. And worse case is when this all happen subconciously, that when confronted, they will deny outright. I have many times apologize to my mother for not being girlish enough to suit her. My brothers too apologises for not being good enough to actually reach the benchmarks. Bummer ain't it?

Today and yesterday was a revelation for me. Yesterday, I was late for my project group meeting. Racing down the stairs, I said a quick, "Later, mom." only to be answered with a dragon-like roar of, "Take your laundry up first before you go." We had like a 1 min screaming match and I relented and carted my laundry bag upstairs before rushing back to the car. And as I start my car, my mom sweetly said from the doorway, "Have a good study time, ok. Good luck."

That, cracked me up inside. I gave a grin and thumbs up at mom as I drove away. I thought to myself, "That woman is nuts, I tell ya." ROFL. I guess both of us are so used to the 'power strugggle' somewhat that we are past the sulking stage. Back then its was Argue > Sulk > Find a common gripe > bond. Now its, Argue > Bond. LOL.

I guess, that is love for you. Screaming at each other doesn't lessen the love. It simply releases the tension and then you can move on to more productive things. Like this morning she screamed in the car, "Lia, your driving scares me!!" And I just go, "Mom.... chill... I constantly keep a car distance btw me and the front car." She'd snipe back, "It's not the distance that scare me, its your speed." I'd then relent and slows down. She is after all, my mom. Nutty or not :P Later when I dropped her at the office, she would wait for me to drive off before entering her office, waving her goodbye. *huggles mom*

These days we get a long better. Not that it's smooth sailing. Never that. We are too alike to make the fit comfortable. But we get along. I learn to shut up and listen and she learns that when I answer her, it's not a sign of disrespect. So, ok.. it took us about.... what... 2 years to get here? Wow, 2 long years. It was worth all the tears of frustrations. I really really love my parents, a lot. They are my anchors. But we still drive each other nuts. Well, we have learned to live with it.

Not so long ago, I had wanted to run away from home, to move out. Today, I have learned that although its harder to stay and make it work, it was worth all the pain. Growing up pains, we all have them ;)

GTG, later :)

Love,
Julie