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*sigh* getting easily pissed
Wednesday, March 3, 2004 :: 12:04 a.m.
i pretty much abandoned this pitas blog for just really depressing rants....for more genki and everyday bloggage, visit my LJ!!! it will be updated fairly frequently =)
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i'm finding myself very easily offended and pissed...
first it's that stupid person thinking females are more romantic maybe....then it's ryan seacrest speaking slightly slower to UC berk civil engineering student will hung...i mean he goes a university that seacrest would never get into if he slept with every admissions employee, guys included, don't dumb down your frikkin speech just cuz the guy has an accent....he can calculate the min amt of pressure required to crush your skull....tch....and yeah...now i'll all pissed that someone i thought should know me cuz we've only been around each other for our whole frikkin lives...and i feel like they've just never taken the care to get to know me so i'm just gonna COMPLETELY give up on getting any enrichment out of that relationship...i feel like that person just treated me as a being that was physically there and couldn't be helped so might as well endure my presence....for me, i try to learn something from everybody....i enrich myself by getting to know them, trying to understand them....i feel that this person is not trying to understand me and it's almost like they're invalidating my existence so i'm uber pissed....why is the person so important anyway....it's only society that forces these kind of familial obligations....in the animal kingdom, such ties are often broken and only few species ever show any sort of family relations and usually it's only w/the mom.... so whatever....screw them....i tried once to say something but they just pushed me off and said "i don't want to talk to you right now"...and i was super peeved cuz this is the EXACT time when she should have an open dialogue! and i was so leaving that day, it's like they didn't want to make an effort or they thought i was mocking them...i don't know....i was pissed and hurt i could barely hold back tears if it wasn't for the known fact that i didn't have to see them for another 4months....
but they still linger...and i still endure....but i think one day i'll sever all ties cuz there are more times when i'm so frustrated and full of hatred than there are times of being joyful and appreciative of their relationship to me...i feel like my friends have been a better family to me than they ever will be and actually that makes me extremely sad cuz i've been poisoned with loyalty and distrust....i stay loyal to things i should just give up, and it's so hard for me to trust the the new things that might be better for me....
i think though that once i get a stable job, i can live alone in solitude....right now school is stressing me out that i have a tendency to look towards people to complain to....but once i'm relaxed in a job, i think i can live easily w/o anyone....i know the value of friends though, but i think i'm just a burden to them so i don't depend on them too much....infact, i underestimate a lot of my friends and their kindness always overwhelms me...a simple call to watch a movie sends me to cloud 9 cuz just the fact that i entered their thoughts touches me....
i think probably i give off a very bitter and sarcastic personality that people don't know how sensitive and perceptive i actually am.....i can sense when someone doesn't want to do something or what their trying to imply and even what people are trying to drive at...i hate this technique that people use to garner attention by dropping vague hints and sighs.....SAY IT CLEARLY! don't beat around the frikkin bush....
in general i think i'm just a real stickler for the truth....just tell me if i'm bothering you, just tell me if you want me to do something....just say what you like! say what you hate! what you want! come on!!! *pantpant*
i've far passed the whole suicidal stage i used to be in and now i'm just in this bitter spiteful stage of just rage....i live to see society's failure.....it unfortunate that my friends might have to fall martyr to this system cuz i would absolutely hate to see them suffer because they're the only ones that have made me happy....but my rage is too much to be appeased by friendship, and that is really sad to me....i don't understand how humans/society/even myself made life/living/existence so difficult for some and so seemingly easy for others....in the end, i wish i could just relax =p
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*sigh* dunno what's up w/me
Monday, January 26, 2004 :: 01:38 a.m.
i pretty much abandoned this pitas blog for just really depressing rants....for more genki and everyday bloggage, visit my LJ!!! it will be updated fairly frequently =)
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ok, so like i said, this will be reserved for my more contemplative rants....i think a LOT...probably way more than i normal person does....my mind races from what i'm going to be doing 20 years from now, so what is that person in front of me eating for lunch i wonder?.....
the way i am is all true to who i am though...i never REALLY say anything i don't mean....it's true that when commenting, i don't say anything really negative, but i don't feign to be happy....i truly feel whatever i say i feel in the positive...i just filter out the negative cuz i don't want to spread my negativity...so anyway, point being, i may seem all genki all the time, but that's only half of me....i'm actually really quite bitter and brooding hahaha....i just laugh it off cuz i think it's funny that i came to have such a decietful personality....i think the people closest to me really know what it's like to know me, and i appreciate their tolerance....it surprises me that a lot of them find it fun to hang around me, which seriously always shocks me cuz i have a seriously bad, and i think incurable, low self-esteem problem...plus, i tool the adult ADD quiz online, and they said i probably had it hahaha....so yeah, REALLY appreciate all my friends and it really touches my heart when i'm invited places or missed somewhere.....i especially love how all my friends are all so different, and yet they all...well, i don't know if i can say "love", but they appreciate my company all the same....from intellectual ivyleaguers, to spiritually creative artists and film students....to even some engineers!....although all my friends aren't necessarily friends with each other or know each other, i really like them all in all their diversity =)
this being said....something now more selfish.....i just don't know anymore.....everything is so..."i don't know"....i've been getting a lot of these kind of knotting stomache feelings where i just think it's impossible for me to do anything....like i just can't possibly finish college....it's just impossible to live back at home....it's impossible to pay all my debts from school....and i hate that whole "drama" kind of feeling....i want to tell someone this pitiful feeling i have, but just thinking about how it'll come out "oh i don't think i can go on" seems like a typical "i want attention" phrase that depressed teens say to act cool....but this is not my case! i just REALLY feel like i can't continue in THIS life....i'm not being at all fickle too....i gave it A LOT of thought....i think through everything mind you...too much in fact.....and that's why i get so mad when i plan something and yet it still goes awry....but yeah....that's why i decided to use this pitas as my outlet cuz i think people would have already switched my links to my LJ =p.....i just need a place to say things that i can't say to friends cuz i'm too self conscious...nor can i say it to my parents cuz i don't want them to worry, let alone my sis (but that's another story)...but yet i can't let it fester in my mind.....
i hate being pegged as something i'm not (like a typical depressed teen (i'm 22!!!)) so i'm trying to keep these feelings on the "down low"....hahah i wonder who'll come across this and think "oh, it's another depressed teen ranting again *click away*"....oh well, as long as i got my peace out....i really need a private place to say all my insecurities cuz for some reason people think i'm being silly.....they all say "oh you'll be fine" (is ADD and over worrying fine???...."oh you'll surely get into art school"(do you KNOW what kind of talent is out there??? do i even WANT to be surrounded by wierd artists?? i'm a math major for goodness sakes!!) "oh don't worry about that"(if i don't, won't it come and bite me in the butt????) "tch of course you'll get into JET"(do you even know the frikkin qualifications of the job? do you know me??) "you're not dumb! stop saying that!"(umm....my GPA says otherwise so don't go saying like you know anything!)
yeah, i'm extremely bitter.....but people say it's part of my charm...my sarcasm has apparently garnered me some pretty cool friends and that's the only positive that ever came out of it all i guess =p....ok i'll stop here on the slightly positive note =p
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new hangout
Sunday, January 18, 2004 :: 11:25 p.m.
i'm probably gonna be over at my LJ more often now cuz it's a little funner to stalk people from there hahahah there's a lot of DA people there too!! easier to comment with a user name too =p
anyway, i woke up SOOOOO frikkin late today! thank god for the day off tomorrow, but i didn't do nearly as much as i wanted to do...ie go to little tokyo and watch tokyo godfathers, which only shows for a week (ends thurs!)...i'll go to bed early today so i can wake up earlier tomorrow =p
if anything good can be said for MTV, it's only the new show "wildboys" cuz that stuff is HILARIOUS!!!! i've been watching it for a while...i just really enjoy it cuz it's slightly informative but mostly idiotic fun =p it's hosted by 2 guys from jackass (not johnny knoxville) and one of them just has this crazy monkey scream whenever he's slightly scared HAHAAH i just laugh so much!!! hahaha and they're both in these loin cloth thing things and one of them likes to try feeding the animals via his butt hahahah he likes the dangerous animals biting his butt hahah this is the same one who pierced his butt cheeks together in one ep of jackass hahaha idiot!!! anyway, they're so stupid it's funny =p that's my piece on that =p
went to the fanime2004 site to 1) verify the dates 2) see who the guests are and you higuri is a guest?!?! i had no idea! i guess now i have another excuse to get the "poison" artbook =p...i THOUGHT fanime and the berkeley commencement would overlap so i could kill 2 birdies with one boulder of a stone, but it doesn't *sniff* so i guess i won't be going to tokki's and gdawg's graduation...i thought i could drop by berzerk country to see you guys in your caps and gowns but oh well...BTW tokki, when are you leaving back to LA after you grad?? you going to fanime??
what the heck am i watching *wierd noises coming from the TV*
anyway, my commencements are earlier than i though, june17 and 20th.....L&S are in pauly (as usual) and math is in the court of sciences, not the tennis center like before....i guess it's getting smaller....i wanted it to be in royce boo.....oh well, i'll go to the philos one in royce for my roommie.....THIS IS ALL ON THE ASSUMPTION I GRADUATE!!!....i feel like i'm going to fall short either by failing a class or unmet gpa....*hits self* why'd i choose such a stupid major!!! it's so hard AND so useless....but i've ranted enough on that for the last 3 years to satisfy all distraught students =p
i finally got my business cards from the daily bruin....i've worked with them for 3 years and in my 2nd to last quarter THEN i get a biz card.....tch...
hmm....anything else to complain about hahaha...oh, happy lunar new year soon! monkey monkey!!
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yo suckaaaas! j/k ahhaha
Thursday, January 8, 2004 :: 10:56 p.m.
*resurrected* hellohello!!
i got an LJ a while ago and i finally had time to fool around with it....here!
so what am i to do with this little piece of web space? i don't really know...i like how i can design my own layout...so maybe i'll keep it as a "for those who just want to know me in bulk session" ie, it'll be my long rant session about once a month about what's been going on, or what's been pissing me off =p....the LJ will most likely have shorter dealings, but more frequent....
i noted all the people i intend on adding to my friends list, unless they not me back saying they don't want me to add them....i don't want them to think they have to add me back though *worries* i'm content w/just reading their stuff =p
oioioi! for the last week it's been constant work for me....never have a hated manga so much...it's been a love/hate thing with this too....i love juvinileorions lack of SFX and HUGE image no text layout...but the GalaxyAngel, for all it mindboggling SFX and side comments, was far more enjoyable to read while paginating than JO.....as i was pondering my situation (how i got the jobs i get) i concluded that i deal heavily with fonts....all kinds of texts etc...at the daily bruin, all we do is make text ads, so basically you design with words and no images.....for this comic layout whatever thing, i have to shape and place fonts and insert text....then i realized the most upsetting thing...i was probably destined to be a wielder of fonts....why? because my frikkin name is IN the word "font"!! not the same spelling but all you have to do is add a "t" *hangs head in shame*....i'm a frikkin math major and deal with numbers! not letters!!! nonoNONONO it's all gone wrong!! i think i'll probably make my own font one day and call it "fawnt" hahaha
so, school officially started today, but i have no classes on thurs...i start at 8am on fridays so i'm gonna head off to bed now...
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ugh...still up...grr LA
Wednesday, December 31, 2003 :: 04:33 a.m.
ok, i'm back in LA....i had to tip the stupid supershuttle guy $5 cuz i only had 2 $20s and if i asked for $18 change he would have got all pissy cuz they don't have many $1s...and i was the 2nd to last to be dropped off and i KNOW the ride from LAX to the apt was longer that the frikkin flight itself!! *kicks supershuttle and all their employees*
anyway, i got a livejournal awhile ago....i was happy it was free for all signups now....cuz i hated commenting on people's LJs and forgetting to tag my name =p....but now i dunno if i should use it....i might have to call upon you to educate me in LJ ettiquette....can i just friend people? or do i have to ask them? or are there somethings i shouldn't do?....ah well....we'll see how it goes for now =p....i'll try to post something later on that one =p
ack...i have red marks on my right shoulder for carrying that huge-o bag back to my apt...*sniff*
vacation was fun over all....met a lot of old HS friends, four of which was by pure coincidence....3 bumped into us while my family and i were at a chinese restaurant....i saw her sit down and in the back of my mind i thought she looked like her, but it was a split second cuz i don't dwell on those things...i just file it away silently...then she called my name and the file drawer opened and i said "dude! i SO thought you looked familiar!!!" i was just so happy to see her cuz she was the only HS friend i ever wanted to see in all these years =p...it turned out 2 other HS acquaints were dining with her, so we all ended up hanging out at night....the 4th guy i thought quit the comic store we both frequent...but it turns out he went back, so it shocked me when the manager told me he was there, in the back, taking his break =p...
we had a mini Peacemaker marathon with another good friend.....but i was so busy doing errands i missed several...but since i saw them all already it wasn't too big a deal =p susumuuuuuu!! tatsu-niiii! hahah i like tetsu's hypermode =p
family wise was ok...i ditched my aunt and cousin during x-mas, as i already noted....on very low terms with sis as usual...at least the mutual dislike of our personalities is out in the open now though...doesn't look like either of us is making a huge move to improve the relationship beyond just being sisters so oh well....i have other things to deal with....i already tried to ignore the mistreatment of the past and still call her, but each call just got weirder and weirder...too bad we didn't get to talk it out but she never seems to want to listen to me cuz maybe i talk to fast or what...she's always "i don't want to even look at you/hear you" or whatever she said, something like a verbal storming out and i couldn't say anything more...it was weird cuz she was the hardest person to be around my whole break even though i was only with her for 4.5 days about =p...but also i didn't even try to be cordial...i blatanly did things just cuz i was so annoyed hahaha =p oh well, it's not like we we don't know each others likes/dislikes anymore, i mean i HOPE she liked what i got her for xmas cuz i definitely like what she got me...but i guess this is the true example of "growing /drifting apart"...oh well, i have good friends and roommates who are always there and laugh at my many faults with me =) and even if they're just humouring me, i appreciate that they try to at least not hurt me =p...dad's knees seem to be doing fine...i forgot to ask to see the scar (if there was one) i can always trust him for getting me a super cool calendar for x-mas too hahahah LOTR!!!...mom still as busy as ever....actually, i hardly got to see her!! darn =( she went straight to work the next day after hawaii....and she's always cooking soups for me *sniff* i already miss her soups!!!
school will be starting on the 8th....i'm thinking about quitting my campus job cuz i fear i would be too busy w/school that working will only hinder my studying (not like i'll study as much as i should)...i really hope i have the energy to at least average out this quarter *hopes* ack! it's now 5am!! no!!! i see a little sun!!! no!!!! *runs off to bed*
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what's going on? *sniff*
Thursday, December 25, 2003 :: 07:15 p.m.
whywhy has this winter break been so unproductive!
i've not looked at my dev inbox since the 13th and it's pissing me off cuz i HAVE the time, i'm just so....lazy? busy? i don't know what the right word is...it's just bleh =p
some real life stuff...it turns out the artschool i was gonna apply for does not do deferred enrollment, so since i already applied for the japanese teaching exchange thing (JET) (if i get accepted and turn it down, i can NEVER apply again =() i'll have to wait and see what happens with that before i decide whether to
1. apply for a spring2005 artschool thing (if rejected from JET) or
2. apply for fall2005 artschool thing (if accepted to JET)
the problem though is that the recommendations i got already might be too old to use for plan 2....meh, it's my own fault that's it's come to this...i might just go be a math teacher in the end =p
so, what did i do for x-mas? nothing much....i declined my aunt's offer to spend x-mas eve with them (we usu spend it with her but since my family are in hawaii, i didn't want to go by myself (aunt thinks i'm not so equipped for success than my twin so...))....then declined my cousin's offer to spend x-mas day with her family cuz said aunt would still be there....i kinda wanted to see their new kid but who wants to be judged on x-mas?? not me =p
GAH! and i missed your outing!!! i'm such a recluse...i don't check my messages, i don't check my blog....*sniff* i'm so irresponsible!! maybe my aunt is right =( oh well =p *forgets fast*
this quiz i took from tokki
Congratulations! You're Pippin!
Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
yeah, pretty spot on except for the adorable
i'm still waiting until the 27th to open my family's gifts with them, but i opened my roommates gift to me and i LOVED IT!!!! it's the rag doll version of that "emily the strange" cat, Sabbath. i'm not a FANfan of emily the strange, nor am i against it...it's just there =p but i LOVED that cat toy in the store when my roommate and i were just strolling around westwood for no reason between classes...i can't believe she remembered...i think better of her not for the gift but for her thought...i really can't believe she remembered *still shocked*...oh, and she text messaged me "merry x-mas" *gushes* i was happy =)
tomorrow i'll do some after x-mas shopping at Fry's....they have a sale and i need some blank dvds =p....maybe i'll watch LOTR:ROTK again =p wait...i should get crackin on my DA inbox too =p
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
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geh i keep forgetting!!
Friday, December 19, 2003 :: 07:41 p.m.
nya~a~ i keep forgetting to update this when i update the other!!! boo me!!
anyway, i'm back in the bay area =) and i dropped my family off at the airport this morning, so i have the house and 2 cars all to myself....so far it's been pretty quiet, slightly boring, but not intolrable =p....i was thinking to just hang out at the local mall to laugh at people frantically shopping =p but then no, my skin is so bad that people will laugh at ME =p i was doing so well too, until i had that deadline grrr! bacuz of work, i went nearly sleepless for 3 days (one day due to the return of the king tuesday midnight showing!!! SO GOOD!!!)....i turned it in thursday morning...i had last minute forgotten to do the extra pages!!! and i was so ready to turn it in grrr! oh well, they didn't seem to mind the day delay...they even assign me 2 more books to do semi-simultaneously....the person assigned to do juvenile orion vol2 couldn't do it all of a sudden, i wonder what happened....anyway, so i'm doing galaxy angel vol2 and JO vol2 this break....GA was a mess to retouch cuz of all the tinytiny sound effects, but JO is SO PLAIN! there's barely anything!! it'll be the easiest one ever =p....maybe i'll do it fast and send it to them early to be a brown-noser hahaha =p
anyway, when i went to drop the project off and pick up the new ones, i exchanged the LOTR premiere pictures with the friend who was with me there....so i have a whole slew of new images hehehe...i'll post them at some point =p
i'm hoping to revamp my real website...i designed the work side of it already, now i need to make a layout for the fun side =p
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muted...
Monday, December 15, 2003 :: 12:43 a.m.
i've not talked for the last 48plus hours =p prior to this evening =p.... my roommate and i hardly see each other cuz i'm sleeping when she wakes up and goes out...and then she's out all day and night that when she comes home she just heads straight to bed =p....and then since i go to bed at around 4am, i sleep until really late, so we just are on differ schedules hahah so yeah, up until my mom called today, i've basically not said a word....i'm a recluse like that hahah....i feel like i talked a lot but only cuz i was commenting on all my backlogged stuff from DA....so i guess i had that outlet for my mind =p
yeah so i've been holed up in my little comp corner RIGHT NEXT to the TV....i should take a pict of my comfy corner...it's now equipped with candy bowl and goldfish crackers so i don't leave the area except for the bathroom hahah it's a sad life i have when i'm working =p....and i'm not even working that hard hahaha i'm only on page 33/176...but i have until wed so i'll take it easy kinda i guess =p
i had the weirdest dream...it's been awhile since i've had an unrealistic dream...usu, like i said before, i have dreams that are somewhat realistic =p....this time it started out real enough....i was moving in to this new apartment with two of my old roommates, Em from 1st&2nd year of college and Tr from 3rd year...there were 2 beds in one huge-o room so they got the beds and i put my mattress on the floor between the 2 beds...i'm sure i forgot something here, but when i lay down to sleep, tokki was there!! i was kind of pissed so i went onto Em's bed and for somereason i remembered that there was a 2nd bedroom....but then she said her parents were in that room for the night, since they're tired from helping her move...understandable....so i guess i went to sleep...the next thing i know i'm in a candy store (anyone know SF well? there's this candy store on kearny and clay-ish behind the park in chinatown...this is the setting =p) and for some reason i'm looking for a candy called "nyanko-chan" but all i found was "nyago-chan" and "nanko-chan" so i was getting kinda pissed....Dewey, from malcolm in the middle, was helping me look for this candy, but then we hear this large commotion outside and it's some large mochi-like girl coming to raid the store!!! dewey and I ran around trying to salvage any candy we could and now there's stairs at the back of the store, but it leads to a dead end except there's this hole in the floor that drops back down to the store (hard to describe *yipe*)....so dewey kind of supports himself in the hole by putting his arms and legs against the side of the hole....you know, like if you're trying to climb up a chimney of something (SO HARD to describe!!!)?? anyway, the scenerio turns into something like the scene in the LOTR:fellowship when fellowship fights the troll down in the dwarf city...you know when frodo hides behind a stone support dealie and ducks between the support and the troll??? am i making sense? anyway, yeah i was ducking the candy hungry girl like that....and then i woke up =p
i would blame this on the days i spent on DA and the x-mas candy hahah....but even so, i was trying to be good cuz a few days ago i went to longs (my savior) and bought some cup-o-noodles and campbells soup to get over my doritos and pepsi diet =p....
oh well, soon i shall be nice and relaxed at mommy and daddy's home...she told me she's gonna make me soup!! mmm....mommy's soup =)
ok, i think i procrastinated enough from my work....i'll go wo...no, i think i'll sleep hahah
OOH!! they did a little segment for deathcab for cutie on MTV just noWW!!! whoO! *happy* =p
guh...i think it's a bad thing to have the TV on while i work.....
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path changes...
Friday, December 12, 2003 :: 03:32 a.m.
i was chatting to my cousin online tonight and i just really got all confused...not his fault by far...he probably doesn't even know i think this way...it was the first time we talked in a LONG time...
he's a CG vfx artist, which is along the same lines as what i want(ed) to do, except mine is more animation, feature films and his is more effects on live action and videogames....but either way 3D stuff all the same...
anyway, we think annoyingly alike despite the separate countries....and in the past we've always had very similar interests like comics, wanting to draw for an american comic book, anime, manga.....and now 3D....he thinks with the same cynicism and and works with the same stress ethic...so i'm worried there's a chance he would think the same way i'm thinking now...which is who is this brat who's copying my lifestyle?? i'm worried that he'll just think i'm copying him if i go into 3D...but i really wanna do 3D...he's had a tougher time getting to the point he's at, and if i were in his shoes, i would be SO annoyed with me....
if i decide to change out of 3D, i thought design would be a backup....but that would mean applying to a differ school, creating a differ portfolio....but i wouldn't even want to go to a school for design...heck i don't think i wanna do design for a career....i never wanted to do what my parents did and since dad's a designer, i don't want to take his job, just like i don't want to take my cousin's job....
grrr, now i'm all confused, but a little relieved i have my math major to fall back on....that math teacher career is looking more and more enticing ...but that means no more art stuff....i guess i can deal with less art though cuz i never reallygot into it until this year...it was so fun though...oh well...we'll see what happens =p
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gah!!! scared awake!
Wednesday, December 10, 2003 :: 01:23 p.m.
i had the most ANNOYING! dream!!
i hate my dreams because they're always too realistic....it's not like i dream about pink kangaroos eating bunnies, i dream about school or hanging out...things that are not entirely possible but highly unlikely....it often brings me to say in real life "did i dream it, or did you actually..." to many people..
anyway, i dreamt that i was in the hospital pregnant with sixtuplets or whatever is the appropriate term for 6kids at once!!! and my dad was the father of monica and ross from "friends"?? what the? but it still isn't entirely unbelievable....in the dream i'm just sitting there, and then all of a sudden i think who is the frikkin father!? i thought fan should know, but then i couldn't get a hold of her, so i started thinking so hard about who it might be, and a lot of people from my elementary school came to mind for some reason....then, i start thinking how the heck am i supposed to pay for 6 kids??!?! i'm already negative money from college....i was really mentally stressed at this point and then i woke up all panicking about not enough money etc....
as i think about it, this dream might have occurred cuz all i ate were doritos and pepsi all day/night....at 11am the church kids next door scream and play so loud that usu i wake up during their playtime but today i didn't, so maybe their child-likeness incorporated itself into my dream....so yeah, i woke up earlier than i wanted to...i slept at 4:30am and wanted to wake up at 3pm or something =p it's break after all hahaha....geez, now i'm SO happy i'm not having 6kids =p
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what the heck am i doing???
Wednesday, December 10, 2003 :: 03:58 a.m.
why do i stay up so needlessly???
and i spam other people's blogs with huge butt entries hahaha.....i get WAY too pensive at night....
i think because it's so quiet that i have so much urge to tell the world what i'm thinking...or maybe, it's so quiet that one train of thought is allowed to surface and develop into something coherent enough to ponder....yes, i have many midnight ponderings now that i think about it =p
in a nutshell, i've been disappointingly apathetic....today for lunch and dinner i had doritos and pepsi....and 2 almond rocas and 3 mint kisses....seriously, i wish i had enough motivation to get my butt in gear..i guess i feel like it's too late for me but it's not too late for other people....i was talking to a fellow deviant from DA on AIM and wished i could just spew out all my life's advises to help her along....often when people from DA message me, i want to really tell them the cliche "go for your dream" type thing...but i wonder if they would take me seriously....for me, being so practical and realistic to the extreme point of pessimism, anything encouraging coming from my mouth is a feat....but if they don't believe me, then it's been said to deaf ears, so i don't say it, because, for the most part, i think they won't believe me....like me at their age, i didn't believe anyone who would tell me that....now, i wish not that i listened to them, cuz i clearly heard them, but i wish i believed it then....yeah i can't turn back time blahblah....that's the part that sucks....now i just wish i could be more optimistic so i can cushion the fall from my past mistakes....but as usual, being the pessimist i am, fat chance =p
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uwah hwah!
Monday, December 8, 2003 :: 09:13 p.m.
my finished my one and only final today....which i snotted all over BUT! it's over =p
i snagged one A already, so whatever i get in this class it'll balance it out or whatever.....i'm not caring too much =p lalalala
oh, for the class i got my grade back already in, they sent a mass email w/everyone's grade on it and i got a higher percentage than that girl that always sits next to me and gives me food but i'm suspicious about =p i was being a snooty pooty in my head and thinking "hahahah i got an A w/o hardly studying and you stressed and i STILL did better than you hahahaha"....but then i realized it was snooty and banged my head for that =p but i started wondering, if i totally applied myself, REALLY studied, read the books, NOT dozed off in class, could i have done reallyREALLY well? but no...the prof was such a perv so i think it was just really easy to ace that class hahaha....seriously...i have no motivation....if only i could pull this crap out my butt for my math classes....for THOSE my laziness REALLY shows hahaha =p
i had a slight breakdown about my age for some reason hahaha on the bus back home, i remembered my roommate last night semi-freaking out about turning 23 in january....i mocked her but i knew why....i feel the same way... i feel like i totally should have accomplished more by now....i should have been out of school already...and here we both are wasting our time in a fifth year....*sigh* oh well...then i started to think about that whole "purpose/meaning of life" crap and that well, anything i do would make no difference in the greater scheme of life so why?
then i remembered my roommate and i cramming last night for the final today...it was anout 3am and we were pretty much cracked and broken....ie, going crazy....she dared me to eat all the chocolates in the the bowl of of our coffee table for $100 and i said "no way!!!! my whole face would be one big pimple! *gestured a visual of my face as a pimple*" and we just frikkin cracked up! not cuz it was all that funny but because we were just so desparately tired and anything was funny at that point....but i swear, i laughed so hard and smiled so wide my face seriously hurt....my roommate threw candy wrappers at me and slapped me so many times....it was fun....she hates when i give her gross mental pictures (which is often but very unintentional =p) but i think that's what i enjoy....i like to make her and people laugh =) so i guess until i pay off all my college loans/debts i create gross mental pictures for my roommate hahah =p
so yeah, my meaning in life realized hahaha am i being too serious today?? i dunno....just tired i guess =p
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my fried saturday
Sunday, December 7, 2003 :: 02:32 p.m.
the past friday was the last day of the quarter = time to seriously doff aside all responsibility and celebrate =p hahha
and oh how i doffed muhahahaha
friday i had my one and only class in the morning so i went to work and fooled around (while working of course...of course =p) it was just argentinian alex, the boss and me at a time so we just chatted....segway to today's alexism:
There are 2 words that would open many doors of your life...
push and pull
ok so this was more of a lame butt joke =p and i egged him for another one, but i settled that the lameness of this alexism was in keeping with the essence of all alexisms hahah =p
anyway, since the department x-mas dinner (not the same as the COMPANY x-mas luncheon on thurs =p...they like to get us fat i guess =p) was also that night and we were all to meet at the office at 5om to get rides, i just hung around the office all day. unfortunately, because of one stupid ad rep, alex had to stay behind after 5 to finish the paper, but he did make it to the restaurant in good time =p We went to the Cheescake Factory in Brentwood, it was my first time, but apparently everyone has been there before at one point or another =p....Our boss gave all the girls lotion and all the guys aftershave from Bath and Body works =p....we took pictures where the guys (3) posed like a commercial for the aftershave =p it was funnY!! i'll post the pict maybe....i noticed that all the guys are quite photogenic =p it was too bad the punk guy didn't come...but he got in a car accident a couple days ago....oh, and one annoying one didn't come cuz he was in the hospital previously cuz of "too much medication in his system and that had to be flushed out"....we just left it at that *coughoverdosecough*
after the dinner, i went home all excited, being the last day and all, that the moment i stepped in the door, i was all hyper and she caught onto my excitement. She said, i want to watch a movie, and i belted out let's watch the Last Samurai! and in literally 15 min into arriving, i was out the door again =p the showing we were trying to get to was sold out, so we hung around for the last 10:45pm showing...at the same time i picked up the LOTR:ROTK tickets i ordered advanced online =p TUESDAY NIGHT!!! first showing, on 12/16(technichally 12/17) 12:01am!! heehee these tickets are preciousssss to me =p
I personally enjoyed the Last Samurai...i could go into detail of why i liked it but i'll boil it down to moving, imo, and good comedy at points....yeah it was kind glorifying tom cruise but whatever, i liked the other charas a lot =)
yeah so we got home around 1:30 and i stay up until 3....so i slept until 1:45pm sat....only cuz i was awaken by paul and anne about vegan teriyaki at 3pm....i quickly returned the call and said YESYES cuz it's winter BREAK!!! whoohoo!! and left to eat japanese fake meat =p...it was oddly good =) i like i like =) it was in downtown near USC in a wierd location hahah but it was fantabulous =p it was there anne confessed that she tries to bring out the homosexuality out of her boyfriends hahaha...jokingly of course =p but paul was joking, "you can eat all you want an never gain a pound" hahahah imagine a exfootball, 1/2mexican, 1/4 irish, 1/4 something else guy refusing to eat the last piece of vegetarian sushi cuz he wants to lose weight?? i'd say anne succeeded a little TOO well hahaha
after that, i was kidnapped into going to griffith park to look at the x-mas lights, but the road was blocked for some reason, so we only got to see the house decorations in the surrounding area and MAN! those are some frikkin fancy setups! i was so awed but the amount of lights and props....more than i had ever seen.....huge houses beget huge setups i guess =p
after that we went to the egyptian theater to watch "how to marry a millionaire" starrin marilyn monroe.....since we had time to kill, we strolled along hollywood blvd with all those stars on the street w.celebrity names...what's it called? the walk of fame or something? i forget...antwat, we made fun of the stars that were in front of this SandM type store hahaha bet the celebrity didn't know when they were getting a star in front of raunchy store or a hot dog restaurant hahaha =p anyway, since paul and i never actually SAW the chinese mann grauman theater things, even though we've been here for 5 years =p we decided to walk over and look at the footprints etc....anne was comparing her hand size with other people hahahah it was fun....John Woo has an AWESOME chinese signature and his english sig is equally elegant =p
later that night i found out my roommate was there nearly at the exact same time we were!!! how funny is that! she has not been to the chinese mann either =p...i guess being so close, we think we could do it any other time =p
"How to Marry a Millionaire" is a hilarious movie...i think i realize now why people like marilyn monroe...she wasn't the lead actress, but she was funny =p...it was a really cool light hearted movie =) This was the first showing of Fox's reprint of the movie...i guess the old reels were too dirty and ol that FOX decided to reprint it and clean it up....after the movie, they showed all these old trailers from when CinemaScope was the new technology of the times....we laughed at the cheezyness of the trailer catchphrases etc....
after the movie, we walked passed this goth bar "club sinister" hahahah big line of fully decked out punk goths...there were some big guys wearing black kilts hahaha cool...maybe i'll draw that hahaha =p In the end, we ended up back at A's apt and watched SNL and old looneytoons =p
i always have a culturally interesting time w/PandA...i guess this is what old film students do hahaha so hard to break into the industry that they lounge around experiencing Los Angeles and kidnapping math majors who willingly tag along anyway =p
today i HAVE to study for my classical japanese final on monday, but after monday, it's trades, kiribans, and a dabble of work =) ahhh...this'll prove to be a most artistically productive winter =p
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pwippypippop
Saturday, December 6, 2003 :: 03:02 p.m.
whoops! this is an entry from thursday....i forgot to put it here *sniff* :
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The bird who ate, flew.
think about it....
well, no, don't think too hard =p tis another alexism....and this is the story of it:
today we had the company x-mas party...KILLER FOOD!! i look like a pregnant lady hahaha no i don't, but i ate so much mmm.....so much foooood...and they even had beer and wine (usually not permitted during work hahah) but i stuck with my pastas and meats on sticks....mmm...sticks...
prior to the party, a lot of my co-workers were in the office even though there was butt squat of nothing to do....but then, after the party, NOBODY was around even though there was stuff to do....it was just me, argentinian alex and coworker-recovering from cancer-craig....so alex starts talking about being doing the whole dine and dash idea and came up then said his grandma would always say "the bird who ate, flew" hahaha i was slightly confused cuz i thought the bird who ate would be too full to fly hahah but i understand the moral of that alexism =p
today my roommate and i did out monthy ritual of watching that months release of the X TV series DVD...this is the last volume though so no more X nights *sniff* twas a 8 month tradition...
i know ii gripe about my roommate's dirtiness at times, but she IS a great scrumtrilescent friend....but that's why they say sometimes friends shouldn't be roommates cuz then their living quirks might hinder your friendship...but being the passive putz i am, i preserve our friendship by enduring =p patience is virtue is it not?...not =p
speaking of X....it's getting real tiring...i've been waiting on the frikkin cliffhanger for a YEAR!!! i still get the monthly asuka though, but it's not worth it if there's no x or gouhou drug.....yeah, dnangel is still in that too but it be lagging =p why clamp why??
last day of the quarter is tomorrow and i am fortunate enough to only have one final on monday, so hopefully i can get my project done before i leave for home....crap, i still have the stupid art school application to deal with over the winter too....i nearly forgot cuz of the stupid JET application i was working on the last 2.5weeks....hmmm, another personal statement to BS hahah yay! can you sense the enthusiasm? can you sense the sarcasm?
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i'll put a new entry today about what i did yesterday!!! lots of fun stuffies =)...now i'm off to some vegan japanese teriyaki place =p
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premiere piccy quicky
Thursday, December 4, 2003 :: 02:27 a.m.
Here's the collage i did of some of the celebrities' picts i took at today's premiere of LOTR:ROTK...now i need to sleep so i can get up early to study for 2 major tests tomorrow hahaha....zzZZ
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oh hahahah
Wednesday, December 3, 2003 :: 11:03 p.m.
haha i just saw the tagboard....the you know who is my aforementioned sister....as you can tell, we hardly get along these days...i don't apologize cuz apparently she won't believe me...i figured she was mad cuz i tried to call after the premiere but she didn't pick up so i figed she was ignoring me.....funny thing was that i called her thinking i never share any of my happy moments with her, so instead of spazzing out by calling on tokki like i ususally do, which is really not often, i decided to be a sister and call her to share my fangirly nature...i'm a schitz and probably have ADD so being outside and way beyond excited about being able to be at the LOTR premiere, i act like a frikkin nut and hear things that weren't sounded and act irrationally...if only she heard this as my apology, but alas i was ignored, nothing more than i deserved anyway...i like that i find happiness in material things cuz i can't find it in people....and they can't find it in me either hahaha....mmm...material things
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i WAS happy, but now i'm confused...
Wednesday, December 3, 2003 :: 10:55 p.m.
i WAS jazzed to tell you all about the frikkin awesome time i had that the lord of the rings premiere....but then i got a phone call from my mom about some stupid cell phone thing and prior to that, apparently my sister thought i cut her off with the intention of being rude, but was just me being over excited and hard of hearing....family always brings me down....
well, i guess i'll just write a little bit of what happened at the premiere, cuz most of the tale of that account will be thoroughly written in an upcoming deviation where i'll compile all the picts i took today =p
ok, so in the late morning/early afternoon, i head over to westwood w/my roommate to drop by the premiere zone and also catch some lunch....i found out that you need tickets to get to the bleachers and scream at the moviestars so i decided i'll do what i can, but i won't try that hard....
after my last class, i head back to the premiere zone and i see a line for the bleacher seats, so i go up the line to see where it started and found one of my old co-workers from DMI...apparently some person gave the animegamers store a whole bunch of passes, each pass admitting 2 people....so since they had 2 tix and 3 people, she said i could join them!!!!!! SWEETNESS! and she was SO far up in line so we got front row! so if you see any footage of the north american premiere of return of the king, and there are bleacher shots of the fans, there a 70% chance you'll see me =p i saw so many stars...man, this makes up for the 4 years in crappy LA.....orli, dom, billy, ian....so many..i ran out of memory in my camera cuz i didn't expect to be able to get this opportunity, but luckily my ex-coworker had another camera....we're all going to swap picts so maybe i'll up them on my site....we had 5 cameras and a videocam hahaha =p
hmmm..i thought if i typed the lowdown of the better part of my day, i'd cheer myself up again, but it seems like family just really brings me down and now i'm dwelling....methinks my mom doesn't trust me and my sis hates me, but that's nothing new hahaha....wonder what dad feels....hmmm....now i'm hoping either i die so they can be happy, or i get into JET and leave for japan for a year and maybe sever connections =p....my roommate would kill me for the way i treat view my fam, but well that's me....i wonder how i turned out this way hahahah was i that unloved?
darn, i was so hyped to do a fun entry, now i'm rambling pessimism....oh well hhahaha
oh, the broccoli people liked my layout for the dvd insert of galaxy angel (i was telling tokki how i was actually semi happy w/the result, to which she thought was uncharacteristic of me since i usually crap on my crap =p) so now i wonder what it'd look like when actually printed....THAT was another good thing that happened that was over shadowed by the mom phonecall.....
there was another bit of weird news, but i forgot....ah well...
i was not planning on going to the department x-mas dinner, but then 2 of my co-workers threatened not to go if i wasn't going cuz if i wasn't there, then it would be no party worth going to blahblahblah...i felt like they were just humouring me cuz they're always optimistic people and i even told them that i thought they were lying and that i myself find me extremely annoying...that's why i help people by avoiding them....i save them from the annoyance that is me by being alone =p....but they did the whole "i don't think so what are you talking about blahblahblah" and argentinian alex said "i think you should spend less time with yourself" meaning i probably find myself annoying cuz i spend too much time w/myself....so that's his alexism for the week i guess =p....but then, i argued that they too would then find me annoying if i spend more time with them so that's why i shouldn't see them outside of work =p hahah they can't win against me....you know, i never believe people when they're being optimistic towards me hahahah
hmm...i'm kinda pissed for ranting too hahaha i'm just a pissy person i guess hahaha....i'll be working on that compilation picture then i guess....cheer myself up with piccies of hobbits and elves =p
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GOBBLEGOBBLE
Thursday, November 27, 2003 :: 02:05 a.m.
from GokuMew2:
wow, surprisingly accurate...i thought, judging by my answers, that i'd be neutral or something haaha...but this is closer....the only people who know my true evilness is my roommate, and maybe my sister, though i don't think she relates as well and my roommate does to me in terms of evilness =p yeah my roommate and i can get pretty mean about people and life when in the confines in our own apt....much fun is always had =)
Happy Thanksgiving!!! *does happy dance for the 4 day weekend*
unfortunately i have work to do *sniff* not too bad though. It's a 16pg booklet dealie for the galaxyangel dvd that bandai is supposedly releasing in march....since broccoli books is doing the GA manga, they asked bandai if they could put a little manga preview insert and bandai was cool enough to agree =) that booklet thing is due dec1 and it was just assigned to me last minute *sigh* but money is money and i'm such a whore cuz my campus job is doing pretty bad so they're cutting peoples' hours a LOT.....so this is for x-mas money...i'm also doing the GA manga but that's not due till mid december or whenever around there *they didn't give me a deadline...*
i was talking with co-worker craig and i think i just REALLY want to go to work and start making money...i DID want to travel to england or italy(ROME) but now i just want money to start a financially stable life....oh well =p
anyway! enjoy the weekend! i have a lot of drawings to finish too hahahah yeahyeahyeah, all of the requests have been yaoi-ish lately, but once i start doing my own stuff, it'll probably get gory and wierd....so hmm...how will people take it i wonder hahah =p i want a more detailed style...so far it's been simple and cel-like....i want to work on more intricate details and a more sophisticated colouring style too maybe...but for that i need time and no pressure i guess...a pressure-less doesn't seem possible in the near future though *sniff* oh well, for all i know, i'll be working hard on my art and in the end i get rejected to calarts hahaha oh well, life likes to kick me in the butt so much that my behind has developed a leathery covering of protection by now =p the leathery protection of apathy and "oh well"s and "shouganai"s....mmm....apathy.... =p
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HOLY SHIKSA!!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2003 :: 04:30 p.m.
THE RETURN OF THE KIND PREMEIRE IS IN FRIKKIN WESTWOOD DOG!!
It's next wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO bringing my camera!!
i'm SOOOO GOING!! if anyone know UCLA's campus, they hold 70% of all north american movie premieres in Westwood which is UCLA's college town-y area.....i walked and just had lunch at the pizza shop accross from that Fox theater (you can see it in the lastest Punk'd episode when they shut halle berry from her own premeire hahha...you can also see it in the eye catch of Access Hollywood....well, you can see it always when they do red carpet interviews too =p)
anyway, if anything can make up for my crappy 4.5years it UCLA, it's the premieres....i never go to them (except the spiderman one where i took some picts), but i've passed by sometimes on the campus bus and saw all the lights and glam....Tomb Raider2 had huge 2 story posters of Ms.Jolie in her silver catsuit =p
yeah baby....i'm psyched! it's a 4day holiday now and i just had soda for the first time in 3 weeks today (which, for those who know me, is an appalling hiatus) so i'm extra psyched!!!!
*twirls in giddyness* man, my highs are really high and my lows are really low aren't they =p
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another eventful saturday
Sunday, November 23, 2003 :: 08:37 p.m.
it's weird cuz i'm usually such a homebody prude, and i still consider myself one....but i think lately i've been hanging out way too much...ever since i pissed myself by making that deadline mistake and dropping that class, i've just been carelessly agreeing to do things hahaha
so this saturday i had to wake up early cuz someone was dropping off my next project....but she was actually having PC problems, so i kinda woke up for nothing....it was extremely windy, so i thought to tidy up the place if by chance i had to invite her in from the wind...and yeah, i did have to invite her in, but i didn't REALLY cleanclean so i was kinda embarrassed hahaha oh well =p
for the bulk later that day, i again hung out with Tim and his crew again, like 2 saturdays ago...again with the shinsengumi too hahaha
we were supposed to meet at a restaurant in Torrance at 4:30pm, but my ride was late, my ride and decided to just go to the asahiya bookstore and wait for the others to finish their late lunch...i ended up picking up month12 of Asuka...nothing interesting in it...still no X or gouhou drug....*shakes fist* BUT, today, i looked through it again cuz mbp pointed out later a kind of spinoff oneshot the other night, and it was REALLY CUTE!!! now i want too see the original series it spunoff of...this one took the view of the opposite character...i like stuff like that (i.e. karekano)...
anyway, we met the rest of the crew, including tim and mbp and went to karaoke...of course i didn't sing, but tim is always ever so excited....there was a karaoke war where basically every other song was sung by either tim or the other guy, matt.....i just sat back and cheered =p there was even a tagalog song sung a korean and 2 english so it wasn't all just japanese =p
after karaoke, i FINALLY ate the first meal all day, hakata ramen at shinsengumi again =p i was just so frikkin hungry, but upsettingly, i got full way too fast....grrr...maybe i scarffed it down too fast =p
but, the most fun part was getting these weird japanese drinks at the mitsuwa next to asahiya...it's a wierd hobby i picked up in college hahaha....you can read about what i thought about them on that link hahaha.....i tasted them with mbp when we went back to matt's apt....she was quite willing to try them hahah if someone said "hey taste this, it's called bloody wolf" don't know if i would have if it wasn't my hobby hahah i respect that =)
i left first from matt's cuz they were just drinking....i think it would have been more fun if tim dropped mbp and me back at my apt cuz we don't drink...coulda watched anime or snl =p....at least i got to watch fuzzyfuzzy tv and see this site. oh, since i left the apt at 1:30am tim and 2 others wanted to go for a liquor run, but since they stop selling alcohol after 2am, we sped through westLA and i had to direct them to a few, closed, liquor stores before we ended up at the 7eleven down the block from me hahaha so i walked home =p
oh hilarious thing happened, at another super market we stopped at, i saw this new fancyfancy pocky "decor" and i remember my roommate getting excited about it and showed it to me online ahahah...so i thought i'd call her to see if she wanted me to buy it for her....she didn't answer the phone so i didn't get it....but then this morning i saw one pack of it on my computer!!! apparently she had gotten it that day anyway hahaha what a weird coinkydink =p....
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Saturday, November 22, 2003 :: 03:27 p.m.
don't look don't look! i've procrastinated again!!! NOOOooooo....
i'm back at 350 devs on DA to look at cuz i haven't looked at them since i last caught up *sniff* BUT i was having a really bad/long day at work on thurs and fri so i just pissed myself and skirted all my normal duties hahaha....
today's no diff either....going out with some friends, but when i get home i'll SURELY start some trades....all i ever do in class is think about trades and doodle little samples anyway =p
oh, i finally booked my tickets back home for x-mas....i was selfish and wanted to stay in LA until AFTER the return of the king came out hahaha my life revolves around movies....did i ever tell you about the sime the showed the X movie at the local indy theatre and the last day it was showing was the day i was going home for winter, so i DELAYED my flight to watch the movie hahaha i finished my finals, rushed to the movie, and rushed back to the dorms so the shuttle could pick me up to the airport and lied to the ticketer that i was stuck in traffic to get the next flight hahahah....
so yeah, i'll go home on the 18th, after seeing ROTK, see my family for a day then drive them to the airport for hawaii on the 19th....lounge around the house for 6 days....probably studying my old notes for the classes next quarter or reading for fun =p....maybe i'll catch up on some anime...i think i'll get some groceries and actually COOK for christmas dinner hahah...or then again, i might get lazy and just pick up some TV dinners.....mmm..microwave dinners...*drools*.....then pick up my family from the airport on the 26th....spend time with the family again until i leave on the 30th....exciting winter planned =p
finals are a joke this quarter....ever since i dropped that CS class, the whole quarter has been a joke...one perverted professor that teaches TWO of my classes, and another eccentric frenchman who i actually look forward to attending his class cuz it's the only enthusiasm i see all week =p yay frenchmen =)
i finally hooked up my tablet to my new comp so i tested it out last night.....i'm gonna try hard to master that darn thingamajig if it kills me hahhaha...so harrrrrrdddd *sniff*
ok, this thanksgiving break....prepare for many submissions....it's art time hahah! *coughcough*
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PMK 7!!
Thursday, November 20, 2003 :: 09:57 a.m.
yessSSSSS Peace Maker 7!!! d/l it now so i can watch when i get home muhahah!!! maybe i'll ditch out of work early hahaha my precioussss.....
oh yeah, easter egg for LOTR:TT extended DVD is funny hahahah but no ROTK trailer!!! what gives?? maybe it'll surface later...it's IS still early =p
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forcing myself to sleep
Thursday, November 20, 2003 :: 01:18 a.m.
ok....anyone who sees me online past 12:00am PST, FORCE ME TO SLEEP!!!!! send me a note or call or teleport here and drag me to bed cuz I NEED TO SLEEP!!!! i always go to bed mad that i stayed up so late KNOWING i have an early day....and then i wake up SUPER angry at myself KNOWING that i would be so awfully tired.....basically i start everyday angry at myself which isn't a good thing at all....
daddy-poo is having surgery tomorrow for his knee....good luck! i don't think anything will happen, but poor momsies has to stay in the hospital for 4 hrs.....boooorrriiiiinnnng... apparently mom has a swolen eye for some reason so...i dunno....maybe i should go home for thanksgiving or something...well, too late hahaha....er...that really wasn't something to laugh at hahaha =p
oh! mom sent me some goodies from her hong kong trip that i got today....she stuffed money in a tooru cat doll my cousin gave me hahaha she said to spend it for thanksgiving....well, i'll just use it to get quarters to do my do my laundry and bus fare....so much for thanksgiving feast hahah...i'm so poor cuz payments for power and cable came and cable raised their price *kicks adelphia*....and plus paying off my new comp *sigh*...oh she sent some pringles chips!! FOOD!
oh! bus strike it done FINALLY...grocery strike still on as far as i know....
oh, that weird girl DID give me food that day...a quite tasty korean soft pastry thing.....i said i'd lend her fruits baskets cuz i'm a sucker...oh well, i hope i get it back before the quarter ends...
roommate was VERY sick today, so i walked her to the ashe health center on campus and said i'd take notes for her in out class since it's better she see a doctor than go to class....i think my bad habits are rubbing off on her cuz she still isn't really taking care of herself hhahaha oh welll...
enrollment for winter quarter starts tomorrow *groans*
SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -_-zzZZ
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just lounging at school
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 :: 01:41 p.m.
gwah...DA sucks on these comps....actually, i find that DA isn't all that cool on PCs....i always double post the same frikkin comment so i give up for now cuz i don't want to be like that mcdonald commercial guy that repeats everything...remember him? like the mid 90s something eddie...it was an annoying series of commercials....whoever approved that chara to be the spokesman of mcDs at the that time was either high or a genious because now that i'm thinking about it, the fact that i remember they stupid chara is a sign of a good ad compaign....darn it, now i've just justified the use of stupid marketing....grrr....
anyway, so i was walking around the student store cuz i was bored and now they have a graphic novel section of just tokyopop stuff in the frikkin bookstore....grr....must they follow me to my grave??? i know a lot of people like Tokyopop so i won't gripe about them here...i've griped enough about them in the past....i just always thought at the campus bookstore as being really academic....they have the biggest mythology and folklore section than any borders or barnes i've been to in west LA....PLUS i get 20% off for being an asucla employee so double cool on that...meh....i should let things be...US capitalism and all....ok, i'll let tokyopop have this round....
they've been cutting hours at work due to lack of...well....advertising success of the paper...not a lot of people are putting ads in the paper anymore...bad economy i guess....so, yeah, that's why i'm not at work now =p i still have one more class at 2pm so, being the nerd i am, i head to the comp lab....i DID sit outside for a bit to listen to some indy band play....we always have mini afternoon concerts out at the union plaza....some are actually pretty good...outside is annoying though..too many solicitors...and this week is "BeatSC Week" (USC is our rival) so they had car smashing and blood drives and all sorts of weird things out there =p
some girl came up to me and asked if i was an international student hahahah i was taken aback...i wasn't looking especially FOBish i thought....actually, i thought i looked quite american....shorty's t-shirt, skater shorts and a cordoroy peacoaty thing (not good with clothes...it was cheap so i bought)....oh well...i did have my bugsbunny 70s cloth briefcase dealie which looks mighty FOBish...meh...
i rant cuz i'm bored....i have 40 more minutes to kill....
oh, i installed photoshop and indesign and OfficeX on my new comp sunday night =) =) i have software now hahaha....i also installed maya5 but i think it was a cracked vers and the instructions were for 4.5 (they assumed it was the same for 5..grr assumptions)...but i think i'll find it somewhere else....i want to keep up all that i learned this summer cuz i feel it slipping away....i wanna know how to model charas better cuz all i did was animate with the charas they gave me when it got more complicated.....man, i still can't believe i got paid to learn maya...i'm such a frikkin lucky bastard i hate myself for it cuz i probably took a more worthy person's place....hahah it's funny that i hate myself even when something relatively positive happens hahah....why am i laughing? oh yeah, defense mechanism hahaha
hmm....am i being too chatty today? YES....but oh well...i'm bored...
TWOTOWERSEXTENDEDVERSION!!!!!
my roommate it supposed to get it after work today (AFTER WORK!!? it'll be gone!!! wahhhhhh) but hopefully she does get it....and we'll have a might fun time ogling the new scenes and drooling on the floor....luckily we have hardwood floors so we can drool all we want whoever long we want and clean it with a swipe from our clorox swiffer impersonator mop dealie....mmmm....hardwoodfloors....*drool* *and wipes*
methinks i should retire from this entry....seems the hour of lessons have arrived and one must not be tardy to a frikkin lame-o class that i'll probably be half asleep in and that girl will probably give me more weird snacks again for no reason....*sigh* i think i'm the grown up version of ralph from the simpsons...did you ever see the episode when they have a sugar ban and ralph is eating a whole bunch of candy and he says "I'm happy(idiot ralph voice) and ANGRY(angry growl voice)" hhahaah thats me... =) ah simpsons, my twice daily dose of idiocy =)
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moopmoop
Sunday, November 16, 2003 :: 11:00 p.m.
moopmoop is poompoom backwards....think about it *taps head*
..
no, don't think about it...it's gibberish....i'm just fooling around hahaha cuz i'm stupid...
well, less stupid, more excited that i cleaned out my massive inbox (on DevArt) and looked at EVERYTHING! it's my goal....i watch so many people, i think i get 50devs a day....i still have yet to reply to a lot of them...some of them from a whole week ago!! sometimes i don't know why i don't just reply right when i read it....bad procrastinatory habit...
okok...so i'm a bit more genki these days...due to the fact that time has been the healer, but also, they helped a lot...so i made a quick thank you piccie for them...
oh!! cool co-worker, argentinian alex...he's the most hilarious person at work and he always has weird stories about argentina or argentian ways....every time i see him, he always has some quick weird saying or myth, so i decided i should write them down...so here's 2 that i gathered so far:
even if you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu
you know why asians have slanted eyes? because since they eat so much rice, when they eat dinner, they say *puts his palms on the sides of his head and pulls back to eyes slant* "oh no, rice agaaiinnn??"
sorry if these offend anyone...i think they're funny so i'll put them up as long as i can remember hahaha =p it's better in his little argentinian spanish accent =p oh, we call these alexisms =)
so, thanksgiving is FINALLY coming...i NEED the 4 day break BAD.....i'm not going home for it though, but my roommate is, so i get the apt all to myself....i'll probably get some food to go and lounge in front of the TV while FINALLY getting to do my trades and kiribans!! YAY!!!
OHOHOH!!! my new obsession! PEACE MAKER KUROGANE!!! since i was majorly pissy, i decided to watch some of the anime i've been d/l but not watching...and PMK = my saviour....i wasn't into any anime lately...actually, haven't watched any for several months...the last one i saw weekly was matantei loki ragnarok....
ok...so with that i take my leave....i thought i had more to say but i forgot hahaha.....oh well....when it comes back i'll update =p
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kill me now....seriously....seriously
Monday, November 10, 2003 :: 02:15 p.m.
i'm the biggest idiot....cuz i thought i was being smart and ahead of the game but in reality, i'm just dumb and horribly careless....i thought i was being a step ahead...but i was a step ahead going the opposite direction and on the wrong path AND in the wrong dimension....the frikkin stupid art application is not due on the stupid 15th of november on the 5th of january....i have a whole frikkin stupid month and a stupid half.....i stupidly over stressed the deadline, leading me to drop my CS class due to lack of concentration.....
seriously, if you don't hate me at this point, i'll hate you for not hating me....commence stone throwing now...and not the pansy pebble stones....throw the massive boulders and impale this stupid brain of mine into a pile of organs and brain juice....
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saturday day of fun
Sunday, November 9, 2003 :: 12:00 p.m.
ok, so this was a day filled with some pre-acquaintances and some new people....i was basically hanging out with Tim and my old co-worker Chris with the end intention of going to out old co-worker, Luis', birthday party/gig thing that is literallt 40 steps from my apartment. somehow i ended up going all the way down to Orange County/Fullerton...but i'll get back to that...
so Tim was supposed to pick me up so i could get a free ride to the supermarket small press comic type convention....it was awesome BTW =p....anyway as expected, i knew he would oversleep, but i waited, until i realized he was just way beyond on time, so i hopped the bus like i had originally planned and went on my own to campus....sometimes saving75cents is just not worth the wait =p ...but being a small press con, it was kind of boring by onesself, so i casually looked at all the tables and just left to wait outside for Tim and his gang to arrive....I knew that Chris was coming with his friend Matt (and his friend Susanna) so i thought i'd try to find chris as well....apparently Matt is also in my classical japanese class!! what small frikkin world!!! of the 20some students, i had not met him except for just THIS friday...and apparently that SATURDAY we were all supposed to meet....it was crazy and i still can't get over how everybody was connected =p....Tim proceeded to come a good hour later with 3 other people, one of them being a really cool girl Julianna....Tokki you should know her cuz she went to berkeley and worked at paradigm and i guess still keeps in touch with Hugo...she says hi to you and said you were sweet =p....anyway....i let her borrow my extra ID since students were free and she was an asian girl =p....this second time around...guess who i saw?!!!! Jhonen Vasquez!!! and Rikki Simmons (voice of Gir and Invader Zim background artist) with wife Tavisha (comic artist/creator for one of tokyopop's domestic titles...i forgot what it was called) just casually WALKING AROUND! i felt like such the idiot fangirl...i wanted to cling to their knees....but they were just looking at tables and no on was recognizing them so i didn't want to bother them....but at one point, jhonen sat at on of the back resting tables with i think was his girlfriend....and i just decided to go up to him and ask him why he was still in LA cuz last year, when i got that pict drawn(see me DA ID), he had said he hated LA....but this time, he said, even though he hates LA, he can't move back to home (san jose) cuz...well, i guess the tortures of the hometown still reside....i said i would always go back to norcal cuz i just despise LA too much...but anyway, it was a total short fangirl conversation...he was nice, laughed....but i think laughed cuz i was such an idiot =p...that's why i shouldn't be allowed to talk to people who awe me =p....but at least i took my chance!!! which is a growing step for me! except that i totally tripped but frikkin whatever! i'm getting old enough to make mistakes and just roll with them =p
anyway, after supermarket, we were all STARVING cuz of the much behindness of schedule...but we continued with the insane plan of going to torrance for lunch at the hakata ramen restaurant, shinsen gumi. It ended up being a mix between lunch and dinner =p....and even though they had wanted to go karaoke, Julianna and another of tim's high school friends, Daren (sp?) had made other plans and had to go back to Orange County....unfortunately, cuz Tim picked them up, he would have to drive them back! so, no go for the karaoke (phew for me cuz i don't sing...sad for Matt cuz he was freakishly excited)....Since Tim was also chris' ride, chris didn't want to waste time going to OC, but Susanna's car is a 2 seater hybrid, so the only other option was the trunk haahah....but chris is a bigger than average guy, so it would have been more logical to send matt to the back....but they way i heard it, chris ended up sitting up front with matt on his lap! hahahah oh the jokes..but i won't...anyway they go to chris' place while i headed off to OC/Fullerton....
i think tim called mbp to come with us since we were in OC now, but she declined =( would have been nice to meet again =p....but man! OC is totally what i imagined OC suburbs to be =p i've never been....the only place i've been to down there was disneyland hahaha....but that was that...it was a good break from the rest of the group =p
we headed back to west LA to go to Luis' b-day party, but he also has a band, jaracanda, so they played and celebrated his b-day all at once =p....it was wild and weird and LOUD cuz i'm not used to going to small band gig places or whatever....i'm SOO not the part animal...anyway Tim is funny when he's tipsy haahaha....and miki called from japan that night too!!! *sniff* i miss her!!wahhh!!...anyway, i met my other old co-worker from DMI, she's a voice actor and wanted me to tell my friends about her (why? i don't really know....but anyway =p) so here's my plug to her:
go...er...support? Jennifer Sekiguchi!! *Troy McClure's style* you may remember her from such films/anime as Mamimi from FLCL, Silky from I'm Gonna be an Angel (Tenshi ni Narumon aka Tennaru) and Fujio in I My Me, Strawberry Eggs!....she will also be in Haibene Renmei as (?? sorry i forgot!) and (possibly if admistration issues settle) the Korean movie dubb of Volcano 1(?) to be shown on MTV! so look for her!
/end plug
i hope that was enough...i dunno how to support a voice actor or what to say...but that's the best i can do =p....we were talking about what's up w/our respective lives cuz she was possibly the only other sober one there hahaha and she and another old DMI co-worker are trying to pitch an animation idea and they wanted me to do character designs?? i was shocked and "how the heck did you know i drew??!"....she said they saw some of my doodlings at DMI (i got horribly bored at many points during that job when luis was late with his akadot articles and ALL the anime in the library was already screencapped)...i said i would try my best, but honestly i don't think much will come of it...i'm just happy that she remembered me...it's always a surprise when people remember me from so long ago cuz i feel like, maybe i didn't make such a bad impression =p...anyway, we listened to the end of the Jacaranda set, ate some b-day cake (really good!!) and then i walked the 40 steps home, and Tim and chris wanted to come in and see my roommate (cuz apparently Tim told chris my roommate was cute and Chris likes hot chicks =p) but i shooed them away cuz she was most definitely sleeping!!....but i never thought of my roommate in that way cuz i new her since i was a freshmen....i mean i do note when i girl or guy is cute or ugly...i appreciate beautiful people =p...i just never considered judging my roommates looks before hahahah....i guess she's attractive, but not hot babe-ish....i'd say 5 being average, she's about 7.75?....i'm a little below average like 4.9-ish =p Julianna was i think an 8 too...an elegant type of beauty....er..Tim is about 6.5? he can be endearing.....i'd say chris was average, 5....daren is maybe a 7 cuz he's tall =p.....anyway, i don't always judge people by their looks!!!!! so don't think i'm a snob....anyway, this is just my opinion on attractiveness....other people might think otherwise...i have fairly odd tastes =p....i don't care though because i like talking to people regardless of appearance...but because i have a busy mind, for each person i meet, they get a stats card in my brain, like you know those x-men jim lee cards from like 1992?93? where they had stats for each chara and a little info? yeah....people are stored in my brain like that...age, relative height, interests, dislikes, appearance (height and weight is factored into appearance too), style, and how i know that person (class, friend of a friend, co-worker, etc...)....sometimes a lot of people have N/A's cuz i just never considered their looks...like if i knew them from pre-HS, i probably never cared to notice =p...now i'm a pretty aesthetic person, so appearance has a slot =p....mind you i'm the slobbiest person out there, so appearances is not my main concern for being a friend =p...
ANYWAY, that was a very inside look at how i view the world hahaha....hope i didn't offend anyone =p
so yeah....working on personal statement and my portfolio...statement of purpose for JET will have to come tomorrow....tomorrow i need to send Luis the form to fill out for the JET recommendation...i hope he can still do it...i delayed it for so long.....i get a day off tuesday (public holiday) so if i didn't finish my portfolio by today, i'll do it tuesday and i'll have to 2nd day mail it to calarts so it barely gets there on time hahaha =p i'm so bad....and its the only school applying to cuz its the only one i know....*sigh* i guess i'm not trying as hard as i should...i know my roommate and YOU FAN! gets frustrated...but honestly, i don't think i have much of a chance so i'm only doing it just to say "hey, they rejected me so at least i know it's not for me" and i'll continue on and settle being a math teacher or something =p...ok, time to kiss some buTT!!!
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exhausted
Sunday, November 9, 2003 :: 01:22 a.m.
was a long day today....i'll type it all up tomorrow....this is a prewarning for a long entry coming soon....it involves a small press convention, hakata ramen, small worlds, guys in car trunks, the OC, black box, and roommates.....*plops*
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day of good conversations...
Thursday, November 6, 2003 :: 11:15 p.m.
today was filled w/ a LOT of good conversations!! i was kinda happy just listening and yapping away =p
good convo #1:
at work, boss liz and argentinian alex made a rule for recovering from cancer co-worker craig that he can NOT swear anymore on pain of $2 payment to a pot that will contirbute to the "happy friday" fund hahah! yeah, he swears a lot, and we want to get him to control his verbal rage...he argues, what's in a word if it all means the same....but while that's true, it's society's stigma on that word that hurts more than saying a euphemism w/the same sentiments...but whatever.....he put up a lot of argument but so we extended the rule to the whole dept (8 people =p)....but it totally works to my advtg since i NEVER swear hahah....it's funny to see them somewhat struggle....i'm trying to piss everyone off to get them to swear...but they just laugh at me cuz they know what i'm trying to do hahaha i try...
good convo #2:
still at work...coworker beck brought up the question whether we ever had the experience of knowing someone for a while beforehand, and after they "come out" (of the closet) they start acting like the stereo-typical gay...then boss liz said that she llikes hanging around w/gay people because they're so much more fun (mind you she's 50) and they're better dancers. Argentinian alex always has funny things to say about people in argentina hahah i forgot what his rxn was, but alex and boss liz started talking about transvestites....boss liz said she didn't mind guys who dressed like women as long as they were elegant and not whore-ish...but argentinian alex kept saying tranvestites were gross and ugly....but boss liz and i were trying to tell him that those types were the whore-ish ones that we DON'T like....but i think he was slightly unconvinced cuz i think he views all trans as unshaven queens =p hahaha....anyway, after that we got back to how cool gay guys are and i mentioned our old co-worker cliff who was just an awesomeawesome person...but boss liz totally didn't know he was gay!!! but he's so petite slightly effeminate and SUPER stylish...how did she not know? anyway, i said it was probably that he was such a cool guy it was never an issue to wonder cuz who frikkin cares....we just enjoy his company....i really liked him, and another old coworker alice, cuz they were the most honest w/me....they would say i'm loud and high pitched and over excited, but they would say it in a fun teasing way and just pat my head along....i like when people openly tell me my wierd faults, but still respect me for them....i miss them a lot *sniff*....but boss liz said she always had a hunch about cliff =p yeah, so then i guess then coworker craig decides to clarify that he's bi, and then i tuned out cuz ...well, we're still at work....but i wondered if they wondered about me? cuz i think at one point old coworker paul kept making fun of me cuz my old roommate called me a lot at work and paul knew i didn't like her anymore, but he'd tease me by saying my "girlfriend" called....and i think one of the new employees at that time didn't know about paul's teasing nature and took it seriously!! hahah poor her, she was a little TOO excited though, she was all, "you have a girlfriend?" like it was the sweetest thing in the world haha =p...that reminds me..i used to make fun of paul and his classmate alonso for being together all the time =p hahah....actually, i think i slashed paul a lot before he started dating anne cuz i remember when the lot of us when bowling and i bowled a 172!! (yay!) he picked me up and swung me around...but i was so embarrassed *doesn't get picked up and swung often* that i yelped and hid behind a tall friend ray and shoved him to paul and told paul to pick ray up and swing HIM....to which he did (i think he was a bit drunk)....and the 15 of us just all laughed cuz ray was taller than paul so it was just weird =p...anyway, where am i going with this?? gah....NEXT!!
good convo #3:
my roommate and i were talking about how frikkin COOL would it be to have a digital projecter cuz he have frikkin LARGE unusable wall space that would SO fit a widescreen movie, so i we pondered the use of a digital projector cuz we have the perfect spot, plus my laptop has svideo....we were just daydreaming of projecting the Lord of thr RIngs movies over the the wall while we lay in our beds and go to sleep with the nice music...and then wake up again to the nice music =p...hahah we're all about the LOTR soundtrack...i SOOOOO can't wait!!! it'll be totally awesome!!!!
i had a lot of other fun conversations today....i actually have a lot of short fun ones w/my roommate that i don't really remember except that i know that we agree about the same insults =p....
anyway, i guess a load's been lifted since i dropped my CS class....i'm feeling a lot less stressed and lot more happier and motivated to do my more pressing work like my applications!! wahh!!! i'm going to write BOTH my personal statements (for JET and art school) this weekend, so fan, get that red pen ready...anyone else good at editing? i'm a math major so my grammar and writing skills are have been lost for the last 4 years hahahah...
i've just been converting my cds to mp3s for my iTunes cuz iTunes rocks and now i have a fatty library of songs to listen to while i type away =p....i should sleep now though....i type/talk too much hahahah
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stilll skulking...
Thursday, November 6, 2003 :: 12:14 a.m.
i'm still skulkng around about dropping that CS class....oh well....i need to get my prof's signature on it, but he's not here this week, so i'll have to wait till monday....roommate says she envies me, but come next quarter, she's gonna only have 2 classes AND be finished w/her degress so envy shcmenvy.....i;m gonna have a really tough quarter now next quarter, but it was expected, and i've done it before.....i'll just have really bad skin (from the stress) for 11 weeks =p hahaha
anyway, so by skulking, i mean i'm just d/l and reading scanlations.....any little short one shots or doujins or whatever they are.....i should have really used the opportunity to spiffy-fy my portfolio and write my personal statement....i'll do it the days to come.....*hits self to motivate*
so, now i have a frikkin gap in my schedule cuz i can't change my work schedule, so i guess i'll take up reading again...i should probably read all those books i got before, like the philosophy of the simpsons.....also, maybe i should bring my laptop on campus on the exceptionally long days since i can use the wireless network....i guess it's a lot less stressful now...
one thing that annoyed me though was that i totally utterly and nearly completely aced my japanese classics midterm but i had really spent no effort for studying for the stupid thing....i just got so upset that why can i barely study for one thing and get ace it, but for other things i just cannot seem to wrap my brain around it....*sigh* makes me question the path i chose again....not like i don't do it anyway hahaha.....i know japanese and CS are completely differ subjects....but still, i can't help think why are somethings just that much harder.....
mehmehmeh...stopstopstop!! ahhahaha i need to shut up =p
oh yeah, itunes rock =p....the radio station thing is cool...although there isn't any consistently good stations...it's still a killer idea.....i'll probably end up converting my CDs so i have a huge-o playlist =p...
oh last thing...i think i've garnered another "stalker" or "weird person" as my roommate likes to call them...the girl who kinda fangirled me in my japanese class on halloween came up to me today after class (our first class meeting after friday) and asked me if annyone else recognized me as a slytherin student....this being a 5 days after halloween, i thought it was a little odd...but since it was the first meeting since halloween, i let it pass.....i was just kinda surprised that she came up to me after class....and i kinda saw her glancing at me periodically at odd break points during the discussion, like she wanted to ask me a question....maybe i'm just being paranoid, but my roommate noticed it too!!(we take the same class).....someone enlighten me....why does this keep happening?? roommate and i are confused....we like to ponder useless things like this when we're bored =p
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stupid snowballs
Wednesday, November 5, 2003 :: 02:47 a.m.
well, after a somewhat panicking discussion with fan on the course of action i should take regarding my classes....i decided to last minute drop my CS class, even after 5weeks of attendance....basically, i had already dropped it mentally 3weeks ago by my not doing homework for the first time EVER that i can remember....not to mention doing it twice in a row! so basically, i wasn't giving my full effort, which in my mind is no effort at all.....i had the wrong mindset going into it....it was always, "just aim for a D just to graduate"....i was always calculating out my rationale for not doing things..."oh missing 2 homeworks will still give me 98% possible if i ace everything"...but then this mindset just snowballs into "oh if i skip the midterm worth 40%, i can still have a max score of 58% which will most likely still be D, which is what i'm aiming for anyway....but i'll have to ace the final" and acing a final w/o taking a midterm is just plain impossible and foolish.....the only positive thing that can be said though for dropping the class is more time to work on my art school application (portfolio and personal statement) which i DIDN'T start and is due in 2 weeks, and my JET application which is due in December...these 2 apps were one of the main reasons why i decided to drop CS...the class is offered again next quarter so i'm taking it again at least and probability models haven't fully conquered me...yet....
i'm quite frustrated w/myself for sinking as low as a have in such a short summer....i can't believe that at a time when i finally realized what i most wanted to do, it seems that it's the most impossible to get there to do it....my roommate says what's done is done, don't dwell on the past....but my analytical mind always dwells on the past....given my level of intelligence + maturity in high school, which possible majors offered at UCLA would have been the fastest route to graduation? or which possible major would have given me the best GPA? or which major would have resulted in the best career job? i cannot help but dwell.....is this lack of accepting the past and moving on because of the lack of belief? should i just believe in fate and what is just is?....no, i think i'm to science to leave things as is....but i know i probably should...
anyway, i really don't encourage this "giving up" behaviour....i hate it to the core...i've never done anything so knowingly bad with full capacity of my brain intact....i can't believe i'm doing it.....i feel so...i dunno....like everything i thought was wrong....i thought if i just tried hard i could do things....but i guess if you really don't have the heart to do it, it can never be done....i thought i could be a machine and just do it for the sake of doing it, but alas no, i'm not a machine, though i SHOULD be....i WANT to be....
aren't i a little too old to be realizing this now? i thought i had garnered enough life smarts to avoid stupid realizations like this at this age.....i'm still just a frikkin kid asking why the sky's blue...it makes me mad....I make me mad....
oh, and the whole art school thing may just be out the window anyway cuz dad having knee surgery (just learned today) doesn't help my financial situation, and i don't know if i can do the whole financing my own eduation cuz i'm just such the frikkin spoiled brat....i know so many other students who pay for their own college, but i don't know if i have enough drive to do that.....i'm still going to apply anyway.....but that's another wrench thrown in the gears....but dad = ok is the only thing that matters, so who cares about school....
anyway, wheel of morality turn,turn,turn....tell us the lesson that we should learn. And today's morale is...don't give up and turn into me.....nobody should want to be me....I don't even want to be me... so if you become me, i won't like you, or at least i would pity you...i wanna hear your successes...i wanna know that when i encourage you, you're encouraged...then i know that at least i did something good....i guess that's a little selfish too though....
*sigh* late night ponderings are annoying =p
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OMG!!!!
Monday, November 3, 2003 :: 11:23 p.m.
can't blog too much right now cuz i have to study for a major midterm (40% of my grade *groan*) but some person was knocking on our neighbor's door kind of late...but i ignored it....then just now it sounded like something fell, so i went to check if something was at MY door, but it turns out that there's a notice on the neighbor's door alerting that he's being SUED!!! holy crap!!! anyway, big news...i wonder what happened to him! it's been like 3 or 4 months already....
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yesterday cont....
Saturday, November 1, 2003 :: 05:27 p.m.
so yeah! halloween was fun! =)
after my last post where i chilled at working, i had to go back to class....my 2 hr cs class kinda spoiled the mood in the middle of the day though =p but after that, in my japanese culture class, my TA asked if i was hermione, and i said, "no, but same book *smile*" and she said, "you're a student of hogwarts!" heehee she's so cute =p....she's from japan so her accent was kinda cute-ish =p she kind of asked in the middle of class when she was sticking a video in, so some people laughed cuz she seemed excited =p
so, at work, we had CHICKENhahahaha!! i asked for chicken so boss liz was cool to get it per my request =p i didn't win the best (didn't expect to) but argentinian alex won it cuz he full on dressed like a clown hahaha even though he hates clowns hahahah!!! the co-worker that boasted that he was gonna win TOTALLY didn't show up!!! bastard! anyway, so guess he didn't win hahaha!!....on of my other co-workers dressed as a naughty catholic school girl hahahaha =p....boss liz said i looked like an oxford student =) wheee!!! parts of HP was filmed at oxford so COOL! =)....funny helena came as Captain Jack Sparrow!!! she totally played the part too hhahahaha she's so FUNNY!!!! she didn't have the weird beard though...she just drew on a mustache hahah she can totally act like him though =p....funny-serious nancy was a nurse =) it looked cool! and she had a cool paper hat that totally looked like a real nurse hat and not a folded piece of paper =p i took picts, but i won't post =p all in all very fun day =)
devart was down yesterday...and now it's down again!!!grrr.....oh well, i had nothing to post anyway =p but i wanted to clean out my inbox!!! anyway i'll just catch up tomorrow then =p
did a BUTTLOAD of grocery shopping today....FINALLY i think it's been a good month since i last went to get groceries...i seriously stocked up....but we went to one of the albertsons with the strikers so it was kind of awkward FOR ME, but i guess my roommate was used to it already=p...*sigh* i still feel bad for them...i hope it gets resolved soon!
yes fan, i'm burning your radiohead i'll send it out monday....see? deadlines help...sorta...
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WHOO!!! HALLOWEEN!!
Friday, October 31, 2003 :: 11:30 a.m.
someone recognized my costume!!! yay!!! actually, one person on the bus asked me, "is that harry potter scarf? did you knit it yourself?" and i was happy =) and my roommate was quietly clapping and said "yay" teehee =)
then in my first class, i heard some people behind me mention harry potter, and then one classmate said "that's a slytherin costume" kind of loud, but i ignored it =p but i was happy she recognized it =p....later after class though she came up to me while i was trying to put the big frikkin jacket on and started saying how she liked my outfit and that she and her friends were going to dress as gryffindor and that she bought a UK gryff for $50!! for her friend's b-day.....but yeah, i was a slytherin mind you hahah =p anyway, it was all cool =p
just chillin at work right now.....the only reason i dressed up was for the bonus!!! BONUSS!!!!!! did i tell you guys? well, if i didn't here it goes...if you dress up for halloween and come to work, we get a BONUS! and whoever has the best costume gets a BIGGER BONUS!! but i don't care for the big one =p i just want a monetary excuse to dress up hahaha!!
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high on vics
Thursday, October 30, 2003 :: 05:53 p.m.
i'm so sickly, i must have the most runny nose on the planet....i bought medicine at the student store and WHEEE~~~ it makes me lazy, drowsy but all weirdly alert and slightly talkative....except my speech is a little slurred and lazy like =p
so yeah, halloween tomorrow....i'm gonna be a slytherin student, i'm gonna bring my camera too to take picts of my co-workers too, so if i get any, i'll certainly u/l them =p
slight dilemna, i don't know if i should 1/2 dress the part and complete when i go to work, or just go all out...i mean, i'll look farily normal anyway, just school girl outfit....shouldn't be too bad =p.....i kinda wanted to be a dead kitty, but perhaps another time =p...oh and there's a halloweeny party tomorrow at A's place, but i think i'll be too sick to go...i need food though so if they have snacks, i might go and mooch for food =p
momsie went to hong kong today, she called yesterday to apologize or just pass things over so thats good...i hope she takes lots of piccies of the wedding!!
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more tough cookies...
Monday, October 27, 2003 :: 11:58 p.m.
screw LA and all it's annoying hotness and gloom.....
leno was delayed for stupid fire news, still hurts to swallow, too frikkin lazy for my own good.....comeoncomeonCOMEON!!!! i want something to happen.....
end useless rant.......eeee......now
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*sigh* tough cookies....
Monday, October 27, 2003 :: 08:48 p.m.
well, mom is frustrated with me cuz i decided not to go to hawaii....i told her yesterday i MIGHT go home earlier to drive my family to the airport to fly to hawaii....but that i would stay behind at home....then at that time she said she could look for another ticket to hawaii...i seriously doubted she would find one....but she just called right now and i guess she did find a ticket on the exact same flight and everything, and she even said she got super excited so i felt even worse....but $600 dollars!!!! that's too much to spend on a frikkin plane ride to me, i'm sorry....she thinks it's just cuz i don't want to see my family, and she thinks that i'm letting other people control the way i live and i just said "yeah" to everything cuz if i learned anything, it's not to fight over the phone and waste minutes....
anyway, yeah, $600 bulk money on one ticket is too much for me in these days....it's the SAME reason why i didn't want to go to NY to see fan's graduation....but since it was her only undergrad, i agreed somewhat reluctantly....so if i felt like that already with going to NY, going to hawaii for more $$ PLUS only being a vacation, it's even a more useless reason to go IN MY EYES.....but i think still my mom thinks i just don't want to be with them....she's all asking me "don't you have any thought for your family" and i was like, "you know me, i don't even want to be with my aunt...i'm not sentimental like fan..."etc.....i would think through all those HS years and mid school years, she'd remember what a pain i was....i'm sorry i don't make family my priority....you already have fan for that GEEZ! you know what, you can have my roommate too!......and i kept saying sorry, and i appreciate her effort for finding the ticket and even dad was looking too i guess.....but SERIOUSLY!!! $600!!!! TOO MUCH!!!! that IS the point of me not going....i don't care if she doesn't believe it....i don't care if she thinks i hate my family (it's not entirely false at times).....i'm actually quite frustrated cuz i thought she would know me enough by now, you know, being my MOM and all....i'm NOT NICE! *sigh* she tried to guilt me by saying i'll regret it when my family's gone, but i just said i expect it anyway, every phone call i get, i have it in my mind that this could be the call where i learn dad's dead or mom's dead....usually it turns out to just be a friend, but nevertheless, it's not something i'm unprepared for i think...
well, anyway, all this was said and done in the calmest and casual of conversations, without a scream or tear....and we hung up amiably...but i know she was pissed.....but seriously...if i had gone home at all, i still had NO intention of going to hawaii....i had it set in my mind for a good month that i wasn't going.....so i don't want to change that mindset....
and i KNOW i'm in the complete wrong and even think i'm a horriblehorrible daughter....but being this horriblehorrible daughter that i am, i'm not regretting it....i don't know....i really don't know....right now, all my being is refusing to go no matter what....i don't even want to bother refuting my mom's belief that i have no sympathy for my family and is selfish.....yeah, i really don't care....and this apathy is kind of disturbing me, but not enough to want to change....oh well...now i don't even want to go back at all like my original plan....
well, enough ranting....this is what i did sunday....i took it from my DA account journal....
------SUNDAY EVENTS--------
i totally woke up all hot and gross....makes me angry....the whether has been annoying inconsistent these days....they say its going to be 98 over the weekend, but then fri and sat turn out foggy and cold, but today was SO HOT!!!
PLUS!! stupid wildfires make the air ash-y and the dry....my nose and throat hurts to breathe *hack wheeze*
well, today, i lazed the day away.....i totally forgot about daylight savings until a little bit after i woke up and my comp time was diff from the TV time ....so i felt lazy and off the whole day...but then my friend P called just when i was finishing up an arttrade....it's his girlfriend, A's, 25th?26th?(didn't ask ) birthday and they were going to a vegetarian chinese restaurant about 40min away ....so yeah i went anyway cuz FOOD!!! i never get fooD!!....but then i had only 10 min to get ready, but i wanted to submit the pic before i left cuz i knew it'd be like 5 hours till i get back.....but stupid DSL was being slow...so i couldn't!! GRRR *shakes fist* so that extra hour didn't do me any good in the end
anyway, we went to the restaurant and friend J wanted some beer, but the establishment i guess couldn't sell alki cuz they didn't have a license, but they offered him "apple juice" *winkwink* to which J asked for "apple juice" and showed his ID....the hostess thought J looked 17 (actually 23)...cuz apparently only 21 and older year olds can only drink this "apple juice"...the manager said it was his "special" hahahah SWEET! that was the most awesome form of asian underthetable action i've seen in a while....yeah that place's fake meat us seriously good....who knew so much could be done with soy and tofu products
after the dinner, i should have decided to be dropped off at home, but i decided to go to P's place to watch TV specifically the cartoon network....adult swim was having their halloween dealie so i stayed until 12:45am....but before CN we watched the new MTV shows, wildboyz and some other one where in the first ep they set some guy up on this bachelor party so that his fiance and mom in law can spy on his dirty partying.....lame stuff, but lame stuff = good entertainment for the lazy ....actually, wildboyz was quite funny...it's like jackass meets animal planet hahaah so i ended up being out for 6.5hrs.....i'm such an irresponsible bastard =p
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GRRR again!!! but some fun too =p
Friday, October 24, 2003 :: 07:00 p.m.
GAH! my roommate just told me that the LOTR trilogy that's we've been DYING to see was already on sale and hence COMPLETELY and UTTERLY SOLD OUT!!! WAHH!!!!! for those who didn't know, it's a showing on Tues, Dec 16, right before the return of the king comes out....they show the first 2 movies, and when the 2nd movie finishes, they show RETURN OF THE KING!!! so that it falls right on Dec17!!! ...well, i called the theatre just cuz i was curious when it started on going on sale, and it ended up being like 2 or 3 weeks ago and they sold out 30 min after opening, so i think we basically had no chance =p...so, it's all right i guess.....still a little bummed since this is the 2nd time today i missed out on an awesome show...
anyway, for the fun thing!!! for anyone who dresses up for halloween at work, they get a bonus!!!! BONUS!!! 2 hours paid work!!! that's only $17 but WHATEVER! that's like 3 dinners for me!!! and i guess they're going to judge the best costume and then that person gets 4 HOURS!! i'm not going for the 4 hours, but now i'm totally stoked to dress up!!! hmmm...hobbit or slytherin student or cat =p
also, today at work we had a "mixer" with a halloween theme for all the media offices and there were TONS of candy.....i can feel my teeth rottin hahaah *clink* whoops....my front tooff fell out hahahah AHAHAH i'm so hyper!!! it's FRIDAY!!!!!
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GRRARR!!!
Friday, October 24, 2003 :: 03:44 p.m.
AAHHH!!! the shakespeare globe theatre is here at UCLA to perform "Twelfth Night" BUT!!! i couldn't get tickets cuz a frikkin professor set aside a whole bunch for his class!!!!!! GRRRR!!!!
it's in the old style too, all male cast and everything!!!!! *sniff*....i'm gonna ask the ticket office, what prof is reserving them so i can email him cuz it's just me!!!! geez! he shouldn't deprive other students from the experience....GRRRR!!!!!!
in other news, the sky is freakishly orange from the ash from all the wild fires going on here.....it's seriously the end of the WORLD!!!!! we have grocery srikes and MTA bus strike....people are starving cuz picket lines block our shopping, women are gettng raped cuz they need a ride to work since the busses are downs and psychos pick them up....LA sucks but oh well =p nothing i can do about it......*is so passive and apathetic*
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*gush*
Thursday, October 23, 2003 :: 06:17 p.m.
wha!!! i'm so happy!!! but only for probably only for the next 1/2hr =p
i got one of my recommendations back...the one from marc arrived today luckily cuz i was going to panic a little bit since he was off to japan today and i didn't hear from him in a couple of days....he sent one in a nice sealed envelope PLUS he sent 2 extra copies!!! so i, being nosey, read the ones that weren't sealed AND they were SO NICE!! and honest!! and i know he's a writer so he's used to flowery words...but STILL!! *sniff* i feel so happy that someone could think so highly of me, or pretend to think so highly of me =p i'm SO not used to praises so i don't know how to handle it =p.....i realized from the past that it annoyed the praiser more if i tried to refute their praise (but i REALLY didn't deserve them!!), so i usually just remain silent now....but i dunno, i should do something for my recommenders just cuz they're being really generous to take time out of their days to do this for me....i hope i get accepted so i didn't waste their time....knowing my luck, i'll probably be rejected (prob cuz of my grades) cuz the world hates me haha =p oh well...
anyway, today, or this week in general, i was feeling childish, so i wore my black akira shirt which had the token pill on the back (yesterday i wore my black ultraman =p)....when i was in line for a nice cold drink (cuz it's unbelievably FRIKKIN HOTTTT! right now *groan*) two guys were behind me talking and one of them noticed the pill (which is weird cuz i think most of it was blocked by my hair=p)! usu this impresses me cuz only people who actually saw the movie would recog the pill alone cuz it looks like a standard pill...yeah, the guy directly behind me asks his friend if he's seen the movie akira...what?...akira, the movie..what? i can't hear you....you know that animation....oh, i didn't know what you were sayin....*i zoned out*....anyway, i was curious who they were cuz they sounded tall (sound coming from above me and feel of a looming shadow) but i didn't want to turn around and a) imply i was eavesdropping b) get scared that it was some freaky otaku.....so i get my order and casually glance back while walking to the cashier place, and he IS tall and skinny and kind of like "the vines" (brit rock band?)/urban outfitters stylish with a lip ring....i was kinda shocked someone like him would have seen it and remember it...he eyed the front of my shirt too and smiled to which i returned a "deer caught in headlights" look cuz i don't like attention =p....now i wish i didn't zone out cuz i would have liked to know what he thought about it =p that's the second time verbal attention was paid to my shirt too cuz once last year i was running to class and some girl shouted after me "i like your shirt" and i gave her the same "shocked deer" look and then gave her a thumbs up and continued running =p
oh today at work, we were being quite dirty hahahah it was funny =)
wow, lots of random thoughts today....hmmm....i thought i wanted to say something else less selfish and random....why do i keep forgetting things?? hmm...
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quizzu
Tuesday, October 21, 2003 :: 05:11 p.m.
taken from tokki's blog:
conan!!! uhHuwwah! *conan's trademark groan thing =p* yeah baby!! and the sea!!! i love the ocean!
apparently pitas was switching software and lots of things got lost....but i didn't read it till now, so i don't think the solution they offered works anymore for me =p meh, oh well =p
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GAHH!!!
Monday, October 20, 2003 :: 11:09 p.m.
omg!!! pitas was down for like a day and then my last couple of entries got deleted!!?!?! WAHH!!!! i had all that stuff wasted!!!! *sniff* what gives????
anyway, what was the last thing i said?? i forgot *sniff*....anyway as for today, i only have one class on mondays, a 2hr CS class....but the prof got sick and didn't show up!!! so most of the class sat around for about 20min (cuz we're nerds and anyway, 20min out of a 2 hr class is nothing)...but then i got a little worried that maybe the prof died or something in his office, so i went to his office and the receptionist told me he was sick and that she had tried to tell the class but the door was locked....but really there are 2 doors, she just didn't bother to check the other door cuz we were all in there!!! guh!...anyway, so i ended up going back to work....and even work ended SUPER early!! so i basically had a frikkin lazy day that i wish i didn;t have to wake up for =p
so i guess i can say this now...i got a new comp...the 17 inch powerbook....yeah hit me please.....for now i have 4 comps....2 PC towers and 2 mac laptops (ibook and powerbook)....yeah i'm a sucker and a nerd...but i guess i kinda worked hard for it....but sometimes i feel like i should have really saved my money...oh well....waaaaay to late now hahaha =p
thanks to tokki for being my slave for a day at y-con =p but i got the last 2 vols of asuka for you so i guess that's a slight compensation dealie thing....
dang i'm boring these days.....school is so bleh so it's making me bleh =p sorry!!
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hello?
Friday, October 3, 2003 :: 01:49 a.m.
i'm still here sorta.....is it bad to want to stop blogging??....i think i've realized maybe i DO complain too much hahahah it's just boring right?? ah well, i find i like commenting better on other people's blogs....i'll keep this around for the links of friends and stuffies =)
some quick stuff that happened.....i have one cs homework due tomorrow/today that i didn't quite start yet hahaha.....i got a promotion the other day...though it's the same title i had last year, but i get 40cents more an hour so yay for money and less responsibility hahaha........really behind on devart trades and gifties....gah!! i'm nearly at 4000kiriban, and i didn't even complete the 2000 and 3000 ones yet.....i secretly hope i don't get to 4000 yet.....it's like 90pvs away though...i'm gonna kill myself if i don't get 2000 done by then.......*cringe*.....classical japanese is the hardest most useless frikkin non required course i have to take....if it weren't for my roommate taking the same class....i would NOT be in it.....
ok, back to homework...it's graded on "effort" so maybe i'll BS a bit hahahah....no...i'll try first i guess =p
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neighbor stuff
Tuesday, September 30, 2003 :: 01:04 a.m.
roommate called me several times yesterday thinking our neightbor came back from his long hiatus....there was a car in his parking spot, and someone picked up his mail and cleaned the notices on his front door.....but i don't think he's actually back....she sounded so sad at the possibility that he has returned hahaha....no more peaceful silences....just wehn school was starting too!!!! just when quiet is most needed.....darnit...anyway, i think it was a friend who was just doing housekeeping or something.....
oh how exciting this post is =p well...i did another post on DA before i came to pitas so i'm all typed out.....you can go read that one if you want...it's also another whiney and LONG one, so don't do it if you don't have the heart =p
oh taken from gokumew2:
Rate Your Cuteness!
brought to you by Quizilla
i thought it'd be a 00 =p
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fun but long frikkin day
Monday, September 29, 2003 :: 12:36 a.m.
i've been bloggin on DA since i'm there all the time =p...but here's what i did TODAY:
going to bed at about 4am i thought i'd sleep in till 2pm or so.....but NOPE! anne calls, and since i screen my calls, she left a message saying she and paul were going for japanese food but since i wasn't home.....i was in bed sleepily listening to it and then shot up and called her back slightl groggily saying yeah i wanna go! and pretending i had been up already, explaining i screen my house calls cuz only normal people would call my cell....and then i asked where they were....and they were on the road to my house!!! so i had to get ready in 8min!!!! meanwhile, my roommate is yucking up a storm at my sleepy head trying to get ready....
well, i did it, and we left for downtown, but the restaurant was closed!!!!! so we wandered around the enemy territory (USC) and i suggested a ramen house in little tokyo...i had a secret motive to go to the bookstore in the same building muhahaha!!! so we go to eat, and i go to the bookstore and get my newtype and the 3rd vol of gouhou drug which was just released, and Paul asks me what "that" is about....i was hoping he was asking about the newtype....but he was asking about gouhou drug....er...so i said basically gave the rough blond guy can touch things and see their history and black haired guys' girlfriend (i said girlfriend even though we don't really REALLY know...just to make it seem "normal") disappeared and now they both work in a drug store where blond and black solve mysteries....then he asked about the newtype and i was relieved =p
anne and paul know i realy like anime and manga, but they don't know much about it....except at the film level since they're film people.....i really appreciate them being interested in my hobby even though they don't enjoy it themselves =p good friends =)
anyway, we go to the mitsuwa grocery store next to it and but a slew of weird candies and drinks =p....it was so fun cuz we're just pointing and laughing and buying just for the fun of it =p
PandA had planned on going to see a double feature of hitchcock's vertigo and to catch a thief, but since we lingered around, they missed the first feature, but they decided to go to the the 2nd, in which i tagged along =p....becuz we waited for the 2nd one, we had more time to spare, so we went to the "out of the closet" thrift store near the theatre and i bought a lot of old books =p....books are really my weaknesses now *cries*....got a 100 vicious vampire tales book and a national geographic abt ireland and japan, among other things =p....
"to catch a thief" was a coolio movie!! cary grant and grace kelly =p.....very funny and cheesy and enthralling =) old movies rock =) good stuff =)
after the movie, i learned it was A's rommmate's birthday and they were going bowling, so they invited me cuz P and my old roommate and me all used to go bowling every mon night last year....but since they all graduated, the tradition was lost.....so today was the first time i went bowling in months!
since we didn't have to be in the bowling alley til 9pm, we headed to A's apt and A's other roommate, Liz...she was the one that got m that deery lou cup =), was there so we all chatted about old times and read old PEOPLE magazines until we had to leave....
i bowled 120 and 150 =) not too shabby for me cuz my goal is at least break 100 =p it was only a quarter a game =) cheapcheap!! good times =)
yeah, so we left at 11:30pm and came home, and that was my longlong day =p i didn't even get to DA today!!! it must be the longest time i was away =p
so basically a spontaneous day =p very fun =)
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urk..
Sunday, September 21, 2003 :: 12:19 p.m.
cuz i didn't take a quiz in like, FOREVER (so valley girl but meh) i took this off of gokumew2's site, as usual =p:
What Yaoi Fangirl Type Are You?
Powered by pMachine Quizzer
i dunno, so i'm not a fangirl? it's all good =p.....so that dirk jerk was right cuz he said i liked too many other things that if anything he would say i was an otaku than a "fangirl".....meh
ok, now i'm off to j-town, and if i have time, to thr great mall...and maybe i'll check out the route to the shoreline ampi for tuesday night....WHOO radiohead =)
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BUHAHAHA
Saturday, September 20, 2003 :: 10:07 p.m.
looksie! 2 entries in one day....that's how bored an unproductive i am =p
since the WR marathon was cancelled and i decided it's too late to look at gdawg's piccies....i COMPOSED MUSIC!!! well...not really, i took digital sheet music samples from the LOTR soundtrack FOTR: in dreams and TTT: rohan theme and composed it into my cell phone WHEEEEEE!!! i think it sounds cool....i'm proud i did something hahah
also, the MOST hilarious comment was received today at my devart account about the incomplete assassin guy trade thingie i did:
...I just questioned my sexuality...T_T *runs off to do manly stuff*
i had no idea my stuff had this kind of effect hahahh! well, i guess i'll have to draw him a hot sexy girl =p....totally made my otherwise uneventful day =p
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DANG!! long hiatus!!
Saturday, September 20, 2003 :: 08:09 p.m.
man, i think this is the longest time i've gone w/o blogging here or even social blogging.....
i've been so sucked into devart that i started using the journal they have there =p.....
so what's up now? most of you know i'm lounging up in norcal.....i went to the new ikea in palo alto....i soooooo want that frikkin bear chair....and my mom and i were totally looking for the magnet men that they used in some of the show rooms' decor, but we couldn't find them, so we were sad =p best part was the 20%off for college students and luckily i bring my ID in my pocket ALL the time =p
we kind of cancelled the wolf's rain marathon cuz gdawg's friends from japan stopped by unexpectedly so she need to tour them around SF....oh well....i'll probably stop by tonight to look at pictures....
i didn't get to doing some of the things i had wanted to do....like movies and looking for socks.....maybe tomorrow i'll hit the great mall for a quick sock and shoe stop.....maybe some pants too....heck the whole lower body i need to get i guess =p i have plenty of t-shirts =p
keep forgetting to send that email out w/my new cell...old cell expired tomorrow hahaha =p oh well, no one calls anyway =p
oh! i dunno if i told everyone individually already, but i found the limited edition tsubasa res.chron at the SJ kino!! yay!!! i think i'll hit the SF kino tomorrow or monday to look for the Asuka...they didn't have it when i went tues....
yay! i coerced tokki to get a devart account hahahah...i love being evil and knowingly offer addicting drugs...hey, i'd be a good CEO of a cigarette corp hahaha ooH! look at me! being semi-political and all activist like in the sarcastic kind of way.....gah....
i don't even want to look at what kind of anime i'm missing d/l cuz my PCs at the apt....grrr....
well, other money things i can complain about i.e. securuty deposit situation...but i won't =p i leave it at this!! =).....i doubt anyone missed me =p .....back to devart!!! whee!!!
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omg! 100 ppl!
Tuesday, September 16, 2003 :: 01:30 a.m.
holy crap! i reached 100people watching me on devart!! *sniff* that's so nice =)...i bet 60% of the people don't even remember they watch me hahaha =p...i think i have the best watchers though cuz they all comment so nicely =) wheeee! makes me happy =) some of them critique them so well too....makes me happy that they pay attention to the details =) *sigh* i feel squishy *squish* i shall have to draw a thanks piccie.....
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crap...
Monday, September 15, 2003 :: 04:34 p.m.
i think i've rediscovered the addictive power of yugioh....
i started watching it when it premiered i guess i year or 2 years ago? i forgot....and i taped every episode since then, but i drifted from watching it in the last several months (darn school and darn early saturday mornings).....now i want to catch up on all those eps, but its SOOO many...plus, it mixed in with pokemon and x-men evolution cuz i tape those three on sat mornings =p....gah....i don't even wanna look at shaman king for fear i might be addicted to that as well =p
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tadaima!
Monday, September 15, 2003 :: 12:40 p.m.
well, i'm back home at my parents home filled with good food and all!!! unfortunately, it's quite hot when it's not supposed to be =( BOO!! i come home for the cold weather dagnabbit!!! LA hot, SF cool.....that's the way it's supposed to be!!! grrrrr =p
anyway, first day back, i go to berkeley to meet tokki and gdawg who has REALLY turned into an domineering female kind of seme in japan! which i had a little clue of, but no idea it was that severe =p....tokki would know better i guess since i'm always in LA *sniff* anyway late night snacky at Mel's diner and then off home....i was dangerous cuz i took pict of the bay bridge at night w/my new phone while driving hahah =p it was so pretty though.....i miss SF...
oh, i linked wiredGIRL from devart!! she's so cool and i think she's the only one i'm watching that does X art =p....her original charas are so cool =)
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comin home
Sunday, September 14, 2003 :: 12:19 a.m.
trying to pack.....
seriously had no time to do laundry and clean, so i have to actually pack my dirty clothes to wash at home....how gross is that??! gah....so basically i have to do laundry my first day there cuz everything in my laundry bag will be my clothes for the next 10 days....i don't have room for other clothes cuz i have to bring SOOOOOOO much stuff back......my clothes bag i'll check in, but all the other stuff (dvds, cds, books) i'll carryon since they're valuable.....
not bringing my tennis racquet or shoes cuz i don't think i'll have time....
when i come back to LA though, 1/2 my load will be gone.....that's how much i'm leaving at momsie-kins' place....
got a new cell phone...panasonic GU87 with camera phone and composable ring tones....
i know i sound bad, but i have half a mind not to see anyone when i get back cuz i have a headache and i don't know if i can be genki for 10days cuz i've been really tired at work and trying to get this frikkin security deposit back.....but then i do miss my real life friends.....it's tough in LA cuz i have no one to talk to about anime here....so a whole 1/2 of myself is bottled up....but when i go back home, the LA part of me is held back cuz no one will know what i'm talking about if i bring it to norcal....oh, and then there's the 3rd side....my job side which i hate to mention but it's such a big part of my frustrations.....
speaking of jobs, i kind of majorly screwed up the last one so i'm in a down mood lately cuz of that....i don't know who to tell cuz a) i don't want to always chew people's ears off, surprising as that may seem, b) i know i should be lucky to have a job at all, c) i don't like to name drop companies, d) i'm not too sure if people will fully understand the deepness of the screwing that happened......oh well, yes....i complain a lot =p
jeez, i wish i could be more genki, but you know, i'm 22......it's too late....i'm pretty much set now to the way i am unfortunately...
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no time for the wicked...
Saturday, September 13, 2003 :: 01:33 a.m.
yeah i know it's supposed to be weary but i'm wicked (not in the complimentary way) and i have no time, to with respect to me, it's a true statement...
yes, more things not completed and i'm leaving for home sunday...need to get textbooks.....people are frustrated with me.....my right eye is twitching so hard now it kinda scares me.....at least i'll get free lunch tomorrow at work....
SECURITY DEPOSIT UPDATE: still didn't get it back, but it looks like only after i started asking questions did something substantial actually happen....i dunno if i told you guys, but my old apt lease ended last month so i was expected my SD back...but didn't see it yet.....stressed out so much cuz that SD is supposed to be this months rent for my current apt.....so mad they made the matter way more complicated than it had to be.....i worked out something with my mom, but leaving for home, even for only 10days, is looking like a bad decision....
devart is being a butt.....must remember to add aun61 cuz DA wouldn' let me do anything for a couple hours...i need to put it here cuz i'll forget to do it if i don't write it down....
couldn't see the moon yesterday for the moon festival, so roommate and i postponed the eating of mooncakes and drinking of tea for tonight......but we STILL couldn't see it, so we just ate it while watching simpsons......moon, simpsons, same difference =p
getting new cell phone tomorrow....a panasonic GU87 with camera and couple tens of sound layer thingies....really cool =) but expensive....meh, i only live once...
someone quoted himura kenshin "you can die anyday, but it takes real courage to live"......i think that kind of made me think, "wow, that's neatly optimistic and me likes" which is oh-so-rare for me....fitting it should come from an anime....so i just wanted to mark the occasion...
got my tablet this morning but could only play with it for about 20 min before i had to go to work.....when i got home, i completely forgot about it.....but then fooled around with it at night....very difficult piece of plastic to handle.....but i'll try....
i feel like i haven't updated in ages...i'm on DA a lot more now.....people are awfully nice and sososo talented....
hmmm....what else.....i'm just a little frustrated i guess....school starting soon.....i wanna do my arttrades so bad!!! but i'll get to them this week....i didn't start any yet...i feel horrible....
oh, note....i think this prickly attitude of mine that's developed this end of summer, which i originally attributed to leaving dreamworks, was the result of roommate rubbing off on me....her lack of care for others' feelings have totally migrated over....and my lack of care for anything concerning me has resulted in me not caring to change myself.....so i think i'm gonna be this way for awhile hahaha.....yay for downward spirals......BYUUUuuuuuuuuuu............gousch! *sound of bomb falling then crashing*
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frikkin frack
Wednesday, September 10, 2003 :: 11:02 a.m.
last night InDesign crashed on me!!!! and corrupted my file!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it usu crashes at least twice an hour and upward to 6 times an hour, but it has this recovery dealie that is probably the only cool thing about it.....HOWEVER!!! it totally crashed one time last night and when i tried to reopen the file, it said it was corrupted and might be damaged, did i still want to open it? yes!!! but then it crashed AGAIN!!! GAHH!!! my luck my luck....my horrible horrible luck!!! *kicks PC incecssantly till brain juice spills*...er....yeah computers don't have brain juice, but i'm hallucinating right now...OH MY ANGER!!!!!
yeah so i didn't finish last night like i wanted to....i'm rebuilding some of the lost data....GRRR!!!
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HUah!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2003 :: 05:57 p.m.
YOSH!! i'm SOOOOOOO going to finish this project TONIGHT!!! therefore absolutely NO devart!!!!!!
i stayed at work longer today too so i have to make up my lost time....yesterday i frikkin worked for only 3hrs!!!!! i mean, i pay $1.50 total to get to campus...i wanna work at least 5hrs to fully feel productive....anyway, there weren't enough ads to do so my boss just let us go early if we wanted to...
i'm being a little snot too at work....i can't stand the ad reps....darn greeks (frats and sorority people, not greeks from greece =p)...but they're so mean!!! they think we can just do anything they want whenever??NO! umm, there's such things as a LINE, yeah, see that box over there? other people came before you...you know, first come first serve? this is not a popularity contest! OH! and one irl complimented my jacket (i was SILENTLY printing an ad for her which connoted that i did NOT want to do it cuz i had other things to do)...dude, first, complimenting my jacket, the one that i've been wearing probably everyday last year when we worked then...um, are you blind?.....second, complimenting my wardrobe gets you NO WHERE!!! cuz i don't care!!! grrrr.....school.....*shudder*
ok...so maybe a new cell phone # tomorrow, so i'll send out an email before the 21st, when my old contract expires...email me if you want it but didn't get an email by then....i'm pretty bad with organizing things....i definitely have to send it to my current and past employers....make sure those guys at dreamworks remember me, mom says...actually, i'm more curious if they'll maintain my site properly or not =p tis my baby =p
you know, i always think of cool stuff to say and all that on my blog....but when i actually get to blogging....it all goes out the window....and i end up w/a boring entry....nya~...i guess i'm just boring =p....
alright! enough chit chat!!! WORK!!!!mreow!
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so much hotnessess.....
Sunday, September 7, 2003 :: 08:38 p.m.
alright, i'm gonna leash it out....i can't stand it....
as you all know i've been slaving long and hard on these digi charat books...and i have to say, the cuteness it overwhelming me.....but this is the last straw on all my restraints.....
COO IS SO HOT!!!
all three PKO guys are TOO FRIKKIN CUTE! i have a buttload or original files to play around with in this book and i came across this AWESOMEAWESOME pic of coo, ky, and rik in winter outfits that i'm SOOOOOO puttng in!!!!!!!! i'm so indulging myself, but i'm kinda frustrated in general cuz it's not as organized as i would have hoped from that company....anyway, they have a summer outfit pic too but it's not as hot =p....i dont think i'm allowed to use it....but i would have LOVED to use it for a layout or something...i guess just check it out in a bookstore if they carry it....also, there was this way cute group pict with piyoko(the leader girl) and the PKO guys (her lackeys) in like black fancy wear...and since they were the original photoshop files, you can click the layer with piyoko out hahahaha!!!!so it's just the three gentlemen hahahah me so evil....
well, i guess you can tell i'm a little stressed and i'm fantasizing about nonexistent cat boys, 2 of which would make me a cradle rocker....but rik actually is probably my age muhahahahah....
er, i hope i didn't scare anyone...i think this is the first time i hardcore fangirled....and it wasn't even that bad =p i generally like to keep it sophistimacated but whatever now =p
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archived for the month...
Saturday, September 6, 2003 :: 11:51 a.m.
well, i archived last month, but now new layout to show for it *sniff*....haven't been doing much of my own doodles cuz i've been trading with others on devart, so i don't think it's right to use a just art for my layout....although some i wished i could =p
oh, and btw...i never knew how popular charlie weasley was!!?! is there somewhere in the books that made him and bill especially desirable than say, ron and the twins? percy's doesn't seem nearly as popular either....is it cuz bill and charlie are older? or perhaps more outgoing-ish? tokki, the english major, analysis this phenomenon please...it's odd...to me at least =p
well, i did end up getting a refurbed wacom 4x5 tablet from amazon ($57 cuz it's refurbed)...it SHOULD come on the 12th.....
oh, did i tell you i have to work for the daily bruin starting monday???? YES, i visited my boss cuz i thought, while i was on campus for the math counselor, might as well say hi.....so yes, i said hi and did the usual, "well, if you need any help, i don't leave till the 14th" line.....*hits myself on head* WHYWHY why oh why did i have to say that???????? i thought FOR SURE she had enough people to work and there can't be any more people than computers....GRRRRRRRR!! so now i gotta cram most of this broccoli thing this weekend.....but i wanna do the stuff on my devart list!!! doodling is so much more frikkin fun.....
oh yeah, i had a sort of mental moment of "why?" this week...so i'm in a very prickly questionable mood right now =p i totally wanted to pull out my hair at onepoint.....grrrrr!! this summer has made me question too many petty things grrrggrrrrgrrrr
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