The Horror, The Horror

And now, the Do95 blog is happy to present the first episode in our ongoing series,

Forget RPS. Domlijah 4EVA! is where the action is! Amaze! At the power of the LOTR PR machine as it manages to keep Elijah and Dom's relationship the dirty, dirty secret that it is! Weep! For the love that dares speak its name only in the color of the shirts the boys wear!

What, not sobbing hysterically yet? Don't worry; this should do the trick.

That is all. ...for now.

Monday, February 10, 2003 ||

It is Done

*does a little dance (the Running Man, for those of you who care)*

Saturday, February 8, 2003 ||

Ewan me, baby

According to an article at ewan news, Renée Zellweger hand-picked Ewan to co-star with her in Down With Love because she wanted, and I quote, "a sex hunk with legs". Ohhhhhh yeeeeah. Don't we all.

The article also repeatedly describes him as "masculine". I don't know about you, but that's not the word *I* would use to describe someone that looks this good in eyeliner. Words like "totally", "fucking", and "hot" seem more fitting. But that's just me.

In other news: what would you say if I told you that I could give you a juicy sneak peak at The Matrix:Reloaded? You'd say I was crazier than a crazed bunch of crazies locked up in the crazy house for taking too many crazy pills, wouldn't you? Well, you'd be (mostly) wrong! I stumbled across an unbelievable find: script pages from the sequel, due out in a few months. And they're 100% real! I swear! Uh-huh.

Friday, February 7, 2003 ||

When Worlds Collide!

You know how you've always dreamed of watching two separate but equally rad '80s pop culture phenomena finally meet in the flesh? Well now your dreams have come true! Yes, it's He-Man and Saved By The Bell, TOGETHER AT LAST!

I think I may die laughing. But when I do, at least I can have myself set in a lovely pair of diamond earrings.

Tuesday, February 4, 2003 ||

You go squish now!

Will someone explain to me why, WHY in god's name the insect kingdom has decided to declare war on me? Have I not been a friend to the smallest of creatures? When I am called to come get rid of a bug, do I not carry it outside instead of squishing it then and there? Is not entomology my second love after ornithology? Then why, no matter where in the country I live, am I plagued by constant insect invasions? First it was wasps, then ants, then wasps again, then plant bugs, then beetles, then the wasps with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees, and now...moths. "But", you ask, "how troublesome can a moth infestation really be?" Not very...at first. Sure, they would constantly land on the TV screen and on my laptop display, but that was just annoying. But now...now they have crossed the line. I was stirring pasta on the stove yesterday evening, and I turned my back for but a few seconds. And when I turned back, there, slowly drowning in the cream sauce, was a MOTH. That did it. After scooping the little bugger out and flinging it down the disposal, I whirled around, ready to crush the next moth I saw. And THAT was when one of them flew RIGHT INTO MY EYE. They KNEW I was out for vengeance and they attacked first. So, it's war they want? It's war they get.

As Rowdy Roddy Piper intoned in They Live: "I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Tuesday, February 4, 2003 ||

Mike Seaver is SO Dreamy!

The motherlode.

Tuesday, February 4, 2003 ||

We fear change.

NO! My precious Science Center! My home away from home for four years! Glorious structure, a building-within-a-building (literally), whose nooks and crannies and forbidden rooftop accesses I explored in the wee hours. It is the only academic building I ever spent the night in. Its 24-hour computer lab was both playground and prison, and the nocturnal cockroaches that dwelt therein were silent witnesses to many a frantic last-minute write-up. It inspires either love or deepest hate--there can be no middle ground. That radioactive orange carpet is as integral to its being as the unearthly green railings and ethereal glass stairwells. And no other carpet on earth is as charged with static electricity. How can they even contemplate changing it?

Mark my words: woe be to the administration that meddles in the affairs of science majors, for they shall not go unchallenged!

Monday, February 3, 2003 ||

Swellesley, Swellesley

So. Returned to Alma Mater Fair this afternoon for the first time since graduation. Except for that unfortunate dumpster in front of Clapp (what are they doing in there, anyway?), it looked exactly the same. The Senate bus? Still the blue and red G&W monstrosity. The sidewalk in the 'Ville? Still adorned with that festive little brick stripe that took them an entire academic year to install. And I? Was in that bright blue jacket that I've been told made me easy to spot on campus many a year ago.

However, I quickly learned, change is afoot on our fair campus. Change most foul, indeed. Change far worse than the accidental implosion of the bell tower (which, let's be honest, would be really cool)! Change to the very fabric of our lives! I'm speaking, of course, of the change of the carpet in the science center...to another color.

A joke? Oh, my friends and sisters, how I wish it were. But alas, as I entered that most beloved building today, I happened to look up, and there, before my disbelieving gaze, hung a banner that cried "Save the Orange Carpet!"

A certain Dr. H---, orgo professor to the stars, claims that the banner is the product of a student scavenger hunt gone too far, but he acknowledged that there is talk of science center renovation, part of which includes a plan for new carpet. No! It cannot be! But it might. Let Pendleton crumble, let the sports center fall, let the boat house return to the sea from whence it came, but don't you dare get rid of that sweet, tangy orange.

O! Bright hue of youth,
Numinous and fleeting as
snowflakes, life, time...me.


Monday, February 3, 2003 ||

Now we are so happy, we do the Dance of Joy!

O glorious day! I have my own room again! The girl who was in the single moved out, and I quickly seized her room. It's already looking more homey than the room I was living in for the past month. I actually put stuff up on the walls. Old-skool X-Files poster? Check. Ministry of Silly Walks poster? Check. Jamie Oliver calendar? Check. (The calendar was a brilliant Christmas gift from my sisters, who correctly foresaw that all I would ever do with one of his cookbooks was stare enraptured at the pictures. I do NOT cook. I know it'll end up looking like this.)

So, you'd think that an establishment that claimed to be having an '80s night would actually play '80s music for more than 15 minutes at a time, right? Well, you'd be wrong. Unless by "'80s music" you mean "hip-hop, disco, and spanish techno". In which case you need a severe tounge-lashing, or a beatdown, or both. The DJ didn't even play the entirety of the song I requested. A song which apparently nobody else liked. But you know what? Those 60 seconds I spent dancing my little heart out alone to "Bizarre Love Triangle" were fun seconds. Plus I embarrassed the person I was with, which is always an added bonus. Heh.

Saturday, February 1, 2003 ||

The dream police, they live inside of my head

First of all, I just have to say that this right here is one of the most kick-ass pictures I've ever seen. It's too cool for me to handle. K, you need a special gallery to permanently showcase your beautiful, beautiful MLP art. And just to drop my two cents on the unfortunate genre of RPF: it's 101 kinds of wrongness, each more wrong than the one before it. In my early days as a fanfic reader, I was scarred by the horrible GA/DD fic HJ1 unleashed upon me (not as badly scarred as I was by the A-Team slash she unleashed upon me later, but that's another story). To this day I abhor such things. Down with popslash! Get thee behind me, lotrips! They're real people for God's sake.

Moving on.

Next up: in this issue of HJ2's Dream Journal, we learn that last night I had a dream that I was back in a college history class, and Sam Seaborn (of The West Wing) was my professor. And our final projects were due, and of course I hadn't done mine. HJ1 is the one back at school and *I'm* dreaming about classes? What's up with that? And the night before, I dreamt I was in school attending a children's choir concert, and I was sitting next to Brittney Spears, and she was the rudest, most annoying person EVER. You know, my subconscious doesn't lie about stuff like that.

And you know people, the comment system is there for you to use. Because as far as we know, we have three readers, counting ourselves. We've had one brave soul use it so far...where are the rest of you?

Thursday, January 30, 2003 ||

Yee Haw!

I have ethernet! ETHERNET!

*weeps*

And yes, I have moved in. Yes, the room is...nice. It's old, and the paint is flaking off of the walls and window frames which means, as I'm sure it's lead-based, that I'm slowly breathing in little toxic fume of death by little toxic fume of death. But the room is slightly larger than my single at Swellesley, and I can get cable tv for a nominal fee. I was worried for a while yesterday when it was 84 degrees in here, thanks to an overactive radiator, but I got my father to whack at the control dial until it surrendered and stopped belching steam like Old Faithful. And yes, it did take me a while to actually get a bed, since the college apparently was trying to snooker me out of one, but I prevailed. And now I have ethernet. Sweet, sweet ethernet.

Monday, January 27, 2003 ||

Briefly

It is really fucking cold up here.

Monday, January 27, 2003 ||

That shirt is helluva tough!

So, 'member how I was all, "No more movies!" and stuff? Well, I'm over that now. I turned down a night at the beach with the gang so I could have the house to myself for a while, and it was just me and the VCR. And the first thing I watched was Kiss of the Spider Woman. And oh, I loved it. Slow and beautiful. Naturally it's terribly tragic. But when you're in the mood for a bittersweet but melancholy gay prison love story, well, there's nothing better.

Say, you know what's really fun? Discovering that the person who last used the dryer (the one GUY that lives in the house, I might add) had a pen in his pocket, which then got left behind to mingle with YOUR clothing. My favorite shirt, my Seanbaby Mr. T t-shirt (a present from TV's HJ1, I might add), was nearly ruined. But thank all that is holy I managed to save it. The death of that shirt would have marked a dark day, my friends.

Hey, HJ1! How's the unpacking going?

Saturday, January 25, 2003 ||

Crazy like a FOX

Ha ha! You love Mulder!

And you can't threaten me, because I love him as much, or more. Did you build a crappy webpage in his honor? Did you pay valuable money and waste precious hours of your life watching all of DD's movies? Did you consider your ridiculous still-wrapped-in-protective-plastic autographed picture the crown jewel of your XF memorabilia collection? Did you have a little fox hanging from your backpack zipper for years (which you later transferred to your rearview mirror) because the thought of any "Fox" made you oddly giddy?

The answer...is no. And for the love of god, be glad it's no.

But let's forget the fussin' and feudin' and get down to what really matters: who loves Doggett the most!

*HJ2 dodges a fireball from the East coast*

Hey, I kid, HJ1! I kid 'cause I love. I know that's a fight I'll never win.

Now it's time for your daily dose of cute. Worrynet.com. Learn it, live it, love it. Previously All-X-Files, All The Time, she has just recently crossed over into LOTR doodles. The result: the first non-Ewan wallpaper to grace my laptop desktop in...well...ever.

And as part of our ongoing efforts to keep you, the reader, up to date with current world events, we bring you this shocking bulletin on the latest development in the North Korea situation!

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 ||

Almost Forgot

So, last night I turned on TNT to find Special Agent Fox Mulder staring out from the television screen at me.

Now, I adore(d) Doggett for so very many reasons. I thought Skinner kicked all kinds of ass in so very many ways. And, yeah, Krycek was hot. But, even though I'm embarrassed to admit it, my heart will always belong to Mulder. Damn you, Moldy. Damn your pretty, pretty eyes.

Shut up, HJ2. Don't make me link you to the Totoro pr0n.

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 ||

Eh?

??? What's this?

Speaking of movies...I think I may have actually reached my saturation point.

Ce n'est pas vrai! Incroyable! Je fais du cheval!

Also, why do you get more Pet Shop Boys? I want some Pet Shop Boys. Why can't I get any Pet Shop Boys? Life is so unfair.

In other news, I will be going back to Massachusetts this Saturday. Why, I cannot say. Where I am going, you cannot know. How I will get there...I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper..."organic synthesis is going to kick your ass."

*weeps*

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 ||

I only wanted something else to do but hang around

Dude, are you kidding? Johnny Depp rocks me, Amadeus. And he's going to be in a movie with Orlando Bloom! Eeeeeee! I know it's going to be bad. I don't care. I'm going to see it. I'm offically at the point where I will pay money to see a movie just because Orlando Bloom is in it. There aren't many actors I'd do that for. In fact, there's only one: my boy, Ewan McGregor. (Down With Love is still 3 whole months away! How can I wait that long?? Arrrrrggghhh!)

Speaking of movies...I think I may have actually reached my saturation point. Incredible, I know. I must have watched 20 movies in the last week and a half, resulting in a new personal rule: no Scorsese before bedtime.

In other news, I finally located a used music store out here this weekend. And god help me, I bought more Pet Shop Boys. What do I need with more Pet Shop Boys? But I also picked up some Sinatra and Bon Jovi, so it all balances out, I suppose. And so what if it makes me feel all cool when I cruise around the suburbs blasting "Suburbia"?

p.s. A shout-out to Special K for pointing the way to the freaky-deaky kodomas on the sidebar.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003 ||

PC for Vampires

Hey dude. It could be Johnny Depp. (And yes, I did hear someone suggest that. If only I could remember where....) I figure, if Oldman can do Beethoven, he can do Sirius Black. Have they cast Remus yet? I haven't been keeping up with the Harry Potter movies, so I'm not exactly up-to-date on casting news. In fact, I haven't been going to the Harry Potter movies. Hmm.

I was going to blog about my subconscious's sudden change of heart and the resulting Buffy themed dream it gave me. I then was going to wonder whether or not the Buffy/Spike twu wuv featured in the dream was balanced out by the fact that Giles gave me a hug. But then I discovered that the mere act of typing "Buffy/Spike twu wuv" gives me hives, and I stumbled across The Real Vampires Support Network (courtesy of Portal of Evil).

Vampires DO exist! Don't listen to what those so-called "scientologists" tell you. Scientologists used to think the earth was flat! Can you trust such bumbling morons to know what they're talking about when it comes to vampires? Hardly! Vampires are real, they're here, they don't want anymore bears!

But please. The term "vampire" has so many negative connotations. Call them "sanguinarians."

.......

hahahahahaaa!

Friday, January 17, 2003 ||

*squints* I guess I can see that...

Gary Oldman as Sirius Black?? Gary Oldman?

Huh.

Well, he's a fantastic actor, and a real chameleon...it could work, I suppose.

And now for something completely different: a website that truly underscores the usefulness of the internet as a tool for social change. BWAHAHAHA! It's funny 'cause it's true.

Thursday, January 16, 2003 ||

EPB? Yeah, you know me!

Gotta love my sisters. This from one of them:

Here's a question for you: If Elves are immortal, at what point did Elrond start losing hair? Does he have Elf Pattern Baldness? Maybe he loses a hair every few years. "Damn, another one. I'll be bald at the end of the millenium!"

She's got a point, you know.

And I'm sorry dude, but I just can't get behind this. There are no words for the wrongness. Wrongness on many levels. Because dammit, Legolas ain't NOBODY'S bitch.

In other news, at work we got a new intern, and I've been put (unofficially) in charge of training her. Me, in control of another human being's destiny?

It begins...

Monday, January 13, 2003 ||

There's always grad school

I can't believe I wasted four years at college when all the education I need in life I could have received here.

Friday, January 10, 2003 ||

I Want One!

Hahaha! Guess which one HJ1 wants?

Friday, January 10, 2003 ||

Warning!

The server that the Dream of 95 website is sitting on will be down for a few hours on Saturday night. So if you can't get there, or can't see the pictures on the blog, and if you feel the need to kick someone's ass about it, don't kick mine. Granted, my ass is quite shapely and toned and tough enough to take whatev--uh, on second thought, I'm going to retract that statement before I get a chance to complete it.

Carry on.

...waaaaaaaait. "Better than lembas"? "Better"???

"One small bite is enough to fill the stomachs of fifteen grown men."

Man, you get all of the cool dreams. I just dreamt that I was stranded in the woods of northern Russia after my plane crashed. It was imperative that I get out of the country before the ubiquitous faceless Them found me, because if they did, they'd steal my blueprints to the subterranean nuclear facility and eat my cow. And, also, I was naked.

Thursday, January 9, 2003 ||

Nothin' says lovin'...

Thank you. Thank you very much. Death is, after all, our ultimate goal. And mad props to HJ1 for our fantabulous new header graphic!

So last night I fell asleep after finishing The Silmarillion, and ended up with elves on the brain. I dreamt that I found Legolas in my kitchen, eating one of my mom's famous pink-and-green cookies, and wearing a pink and green tunic to match. He smiled at me (woo-hoo!), and held up the cookie approvingly as if to say, "'Tis better than lembas!" Then I woke up.

You know, they are damn good cookies.

Wednesday, January 8, 2003 ||

Do a Little Dance...

Thank you, HJ2, for breathing the sweet breath of life back into the cold, clammy corpse that was the Do95 blog. As a token of my appreciation, I will to share with you my latest project: high-definition abstract CG art!

This first piece was inspired by and meant to represent my respect and admiration for you--a pictoral paean to friendship, if you will. I like to call it, "HJ2 and Rainbows."

The second is a piece that I also like to call "HJ2 and Rainbows."

Flash animation (set to K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Get Down Tonight") to follow.

Wednesday, January 8, 2003 ||

The Fellowship of the X, Reposted

Well, it's a sure sign of the impending apocalypse. We've started blogging again. Yes, we're back thanks to popular demand! And by that I mean one person asked us. HJ2 is here to brush the dust off The Dream of 95. *surveys the scene* Man, look at all the empty beer bottles lying around! We must have picked up some squatters. Well, let's treat them to some culturally stimulating art and fine cuisine while introducing them to some special friends.

Now that the undesirables have run screaming, HJ1 and I can restore the Do95 to its former glory. Eventually. But for now, you'll have to be content with incoherent rambling. (Wow, just like a real blog!) See, HJ1 just revealed to me that she recently purchased the Extended DVD Version of The Lord of the Rings, which I happened to receive for Christmas. And as always happens (100% of the time, I'm not kidding), we eventually turned to talk of the X-Files. Which in turn led to the mutated hybridized bastardized caramelized...

The Fellowship of the X

Aragorn = Doggett
No brainer. He's manly, good with weapons, manly, caring and sensitive, manly, honorable, and duty-bound. And also very manly.
Arwen = Scully
Beautiful and immortal. The DSR is alive! Dippers unite!
Boromir = Mulder
Brooding. Not *quite* as cool as Aragorn (or Doggett). Ends up dead, except that he's not! He's only faking it! To throw the, uh, Syndicate of the...Orcs...off his trail. Yeah, that's it...
Gimli = Skinner
He scowls, he growls, he's delightfully gruff! And you know you want to see Skinner wielding an enormous axe. If you don't, there's something wrong with you.
Legolas = X
He can see things that the others do not. He's silent and stealthy. And capable of firing 5 rounds—I mean arrows—a second.
Merry and Pippin = Langly and Frohike
They're goofy, and best buddies to boot.
Samwise = Byers
The responsible one.
Frodo = Gibson Praise
Uh...he's little. And he needs protecting. And, uh, maybe Frodo was telepathic but just didn't know it.
Eowyn = Reyes
She may kick ass, but she can't capture Aragorn's (a.k.a. Doggett's) heart.
And lastly...
Gandalf = Krycek
Because he's the only one who really knows what's going on.

Astounded? Horrified? In agreement? Discuss.

Wednesday, January 8, 2003 ||

New Layout!

HJ1 here. I'm pushing my HTML skills to their limit here, trying to see if this new look...er...looks. At all. Nothing to see, please keep moving along.

Wednesday, January 8, 2003 ||