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Thought For The Day
"Whats my boat?"
Shell is feeling
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Ray
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Melis
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Wed.
Soooooooooooooo everyones at Kelseys celebrating Melissa's bday eh??? thanx for telling me folks! jeeeeeeez its been like this all week! whats up with you guys??? am I no longer on anyones calling lists??? oh well, whatever. Work today was fun, Evelyn Stam and Dayna came thru my till so that was cool! I'm enjoying it there quite a lot! anyway, I guess I"ll see some of you on Sunday, other than that I dont know when I'll see any of you but oh well! btw, has anyone invited kelsey to tubing yet? I invited Tim.....make sure you're all bringing someone! this should be a great deal of fun! anyway I guess I"ll go sit all alone by myself tonight since no one loves me (j/k, I know you guys love me) ;) the song that I'm really enjoyig right now is "Dont mess with my man" and "All the things she said" by TaTu.....oh and 'Love is like a penny' LOL oh and in drama I was playing 'honey if you love me' with Kim B. and she kept laughing, it was great so then others caught on to it and I ended up playing against everyone (even when they smiled I just stayed up cause I was having fun) it was great! Kim S. looked like she was really mad at me when I jumped at her and I got kinda scared that I"d interupted her or something and all the sudden she just starts HOWLING with laughter! it was great, she was trying to look angry so she wouldnt laugh (she failed badly) that was definately the best one! LOL I had fun! and my drama presentation went really well and I did good and I"m glad that its done!.....my society essay was due on Monday......I still havent started it!!!!!! oops! and my GO report isnt done yet, neither is my History ISU phase 4b (its due on friday) so yeah, I"m kinda behind.....but I finally got phase 4a done (it was due almost 3 weeks ago) and it was the thesis but I got 9+ outta 10 on it so I guess it was worth it! lol oh well, I should get going! OH......and I've got BIG news......I might be house sitting for a month (which requires living by myself for a month) so thats really exciting......I"m going on monday to see the apartment and stuff so it's looking like a go! Tee, I hafta talk to you bout my OTHER big news (and I"m not telling the rest of you what it is, sorry, I"m sure it will come out eventually but it needs to stay quiet for right now!) so things are going pretty good for me right now.......and I met with Donna today to go over the spiritual gifts portion of my DT book and I've got some crazy ones and some I already knew about (ie leadership and helps) but it turns out I've been showing some of disconcernment/prophesy which is sooooooooooo cool! (just look at the last pita entry for that) so that was neat! and my bible study at school with lynda and kim is going well (we're learning about true worship)........50 day is not going so well as I havent done it since (technically) sunday, but really since last thursday...........oops! ah well, I"m gonna go now and do that! I guess I'll see you guys at some point (we should all do something on sat night) and see some of you tubing on sunday! it's gonna be fun! Love and Stuff
If you want to walk on water you hafta get out of the boat!
Remember the time when the disciples were in the boat and it was storming and Jesus comes walking out to them on the water and Peter says 'hey Lord, command me to come and I"ll walk on water' and Jesus says 'common out' and Peter gets out of the boat and walks on water??? Yeah that was a great time eh? Ever wish you could walk on water too? Ever wanna be the one who takes the leap of faith and gets out of the boat??? I sure do, I want to walk on water everyday......but first i hafta get out of the boat. Now I dont mean this literally (tho that would be cool too), I mean taking a leap of faith and do what God is calling each of us to do.......each of us has a different lake to walk on and a different boat to get out of. The boat is whatever is your 'safe' place, wherever you feel comfy and safe and dont want to leave (example: the rich young guy who asked Jesus what he had to do to follow him, Jesus said 'sell all of your stuff, give it to the poor and come follow me'...the man said no because his riches and that lifestyle were his 'boat' and he didnt want to leave them) The water around your boat is prolly something you fear......so to find out what your boat is look at what you are afraid to leave (ie leaving home to live on the streets evangilizing, a relationship, etc) God wants us to get out of the boat and walk with Him on the water..........so each of us needs to identify our boat(s) and decide if we want to get out of them. Then GET OUT of the boat! Take the leap, theres a good chance you'll sink, but Jesus is right there ready to pull you up and walk with you. The most important thing is that you get out of the boat........it wont be easy, in fact it'll prolly be one of the hardest things you ever do, but my bet is that its worth it! So what your boat? and are you ready to get out of it?
Work
Well today was my first day of work at Giant Tiger! It was great, I loved it! I think i'm really gonna enjoy my job now.....and the pay doesnt hurt either! lol ahhhhhhhh, tomorrow is the final Joe Millionaire!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! FINALLY! I can hardly wait! gah! and its a shortened day so YAY for that! lol yg was fun for the most part! ahhhhhhh foozball! lol so yesterday me and lise went to the YMCA to work out and I rowed 2500 meters! my shoulders are still sore, and I did 15 minutes on the crosstrainer in reverse mode (5 min. forward, 2 min. back, 5 min. forward) and man do my legs hurt! lol and then was the real joe and it was great! it went so smoothly and the bands were quite good (well, wheels on the bus and out...something, I didnt like siamise connection) but yeah, it was great anyway! anyhoo I should get going, I have first period class tomorrow! Love and Stuff! (oh and btw, if you were scared of my last pita entry, so was I but God's taking care of it so dont worry bout me, just pray)
Bloody Valentines
So today was valentines day, yeah.......school was great, I lost my heart to Jason Davidson (totally hottie) and getting ready for the dance was fun (9 ppl in that small bathroom!) and the dance was great (even tho my knee hurt)......after that my night turn to hell just as I figured it would, I shouldn't have gone, but I had something to prove (tho i didnt really prove it b/c I ended up sitting all by myself for most of the night while she was in the living room with some of my oldest and dearest friends (who if it wasnt for me she wouldnt know, but thats a different rant).....i'm sorry, I know I shouldn't hate anyone, but I truly hate her so much, i want to swear and call her all sorts of names and that but thats not what Jesus would do so i'll just do it in my head until i can learn to control it! GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHKRRLEWTIHwrqwty you cannot understand the depth of my hatred for her and the anger she stirs up and the crushing heart break when he's near her (which seemed to be all night).......i really do feel like my heart is being crushed (quite literally) and I just want to cry/throw things/kick her arse/scream/etc.....but i cant do any of that now can I???? and who is SHE to say that she doesnt like me and wont ride in the same freaking vehicle????? SHES the one he cheated on me with, SHES the one who said 'ya go for him, I dont like him anymore' then turned around and ended our friendship cause she still liked him, SHES the one who is trying to get with him now even tho all she has to work with is her body, it seems to me that SHE does not have any right to be angry with me or so bitchy to me.....but hey, what do I know??? I thought tim loved me, I trusted him when he said he had no interest in her, I thougth she and i could be friends still, I thought we could at least be civil......but I"m a fool b/c none of it was correct, he lied, she refuses to be friends and/or civil and I have no interest in trying to make things work with any of us! I'd just as soon never hear from/about either of them again.........GAH!!!!! God help me! I cannot wait until sept when one or both of us will be gone and I'll (hopefully) never have to see her ever again for as long as I shall live!..........I cant stay here anymore, there's getting to be less and less here thats keeping me here and more and more thats calling me far far far away.....Once I leave I dont ever want to come back...EVER but I will cause my family is here and my friends are here and maybe I"ll get lucky and she will move to saudi arabia and he will move to brazil and I wont have to deal with them anymore............Oh God, please just take me away from this...I want to go HOME, to Heaven with You and away from all this........someone please put me out of my misery!
For the Love of God...
God's Love is like no love you will find here on earth......it is perfect, unconditional and everlasting. So many times we try to find this love among humans, but it isnt to be found here! I want so much for people to feel this Love, to be fulfilled in a way they've never experienced before.......it will involve giving things up (God knows I have) but there is nothing like it in all the universe....you will never find this love in a human, eventually that love will fad, it will fail at some point.....but the Love of God is for eternity, nothing can seperate you from it..........to Linda: I'm sorry that this became a contest, I"m sorry that I got sucked in........this is not something that one can 'win'....to have 'won' this one, you would have to have 'stolen' his love from me....you didnt do that because I gave his love up, and you dont have it..... yes it bothers me to hear about you guys doing stuff and yes it hurts to think about it because I start to doubt his sincerity and his proffessed love, but I am secure in the knowledge that the Love I have now is perfect and above the love I had on earth, this Love will last for all of eternity....I am the ultimate 'winner' because I have this eternal love, and the battle is already won .... my biggest hope, my fondest prayer is that tim, and all of the friends I have and even linda will find this love and that it will set them free........tho I often dispare of ever seeing it happen, I hope with all my soul that it will...... I'm sorry for this division between us, I wish that we could all be friends and all be comfortable around one another, but we arent and we cant be...... its frustrating really. To everyone: yes you will need to give up many things that are found on this earth when you choose the Love of God, yes sometimes its going to hurt you, sometimes its going to hurt a lot...... but it is so worth it.......God's love will always be with you, He will always be present, and no matter how much you may be hurting you know you can run to Him and find comfort (no it's not a crutch cause most of the time God is going to give you a hug and send you back to work, but you still get that hug).....I'm urging you, if you havent thought about it, if you havent looked for love in GOd then please do......I know lots of people are waiting to tell you all about it and all you need to do is ask..........I urge you, look for this love, for if you seek, you will find.......well folks, its been a while since I"ve felt inspired and this entry didnt do justice to all the thoughts I had in my head, I'm sorry for that, but hopefully some of you will feel some inspiration of your own and get some deeper meaning from the words......also please do read the previous entry cause it was written just tonight as well! goodnight and God bless
Williams!
Yeah so today was our 6th snow day! wooooo hoooooooooo and a whole bunch of ppl went for coffee (supposed to be with Liz but we couldnt find her) but it was lots and lots of fun! I miss hanging with you guys! We decided that we will be getting ready for semi at my house.......I think I"m gonna have you guys all wait at central and I'll meet you there (I hafta walk home) and then we can all get ready together!!!!!!!! :D so Tim drove me home from williams tonight and did some skidding on purpose and I wasn't quite prepared for it and grabbed the door and he makes the remarks 'Linda had fun when I did it, I had fun too' and I was like do NOT compare me to her! and actually said 'I just wasnt prepared' (we all know i've never been comfy with other peoples driving either) so yeah now I'm annoyed about that....and tim; I'm sorry that I'm not 'fun' anymore, and not someone that you really like anymore.... but whatever, I"ll get over it soon enough! and if you guessed what the poem (*ahem, if it can be called poetry) was about, dont worry I'm not THAT bad about it, I just was at that point cause of some other factors, but I"m cool for now! GRRRRRRRRRR Joe Millionare stole an hour of my life!!!!!!! I'm so annoyed about that........but Fox put out an offical appology for misleading viewers (but it worked, they pulled in 26 million viewers) but next week they're announcing his choice FOR SURE! any way, yeah so I felt like venting and now I have, and now I"m not feeling so great so I"m going to head off to bed! goodnight all and I shall see you on friday! Love and stuff
Crash and Burn
Just when I think I'm done, when I think I'm over it, someone mentions you....or mentions her and I crash and burn again. I find I am no longer real, you were my outlet for that. I'm glad we're friends, I'm sad she's not. I dont know where she stands, tho it's all to clear she's where I'm not. Why must you pick her? Why cant it be someone else? You must have known this would have hurt, and yet you have to please yourself first. I wont deny you the pleasure, I want your wishes to come true, but please dont tell me about it, you'll tear my heart in two
well then
So I got the job at GT....I'm gonna be a cashier! woooooooo hooooooooooo and they start at $7.50/hour!!!!!!!!!! anyway that was great....and last night (sat. ) I babysat till 11:30, then hung out with Jo, Tee, and Tim....Jo and Tee went home at like 2am..........I got home at 6am then I got back up and went to church and neither of them were there! ahhhhhhh, oh well.....today I was in nursery school cause they needed extra help and that was cool, but now i'm tired and hungry! see you guys tonight!
I cant wait!
remember when I said I would have lots to tell you on thursday??? well I was wrong, I have lots to tell you NOW, too much to wait till thursday! OMGoodness! Ok, taking deep breathes......I'll start with this morning....k, I took my resume into Giant Tiger and had an interview right there, it went really REALLY well and as we finished she said 'I like what I see so far, I just have to check out a couple of your references'.....then I get home tonight and find out she's called THREE times today trying to reach me (and Shell called which means she got a call cause she was one of my references and wants to know whats up) so thats exciting, hopefully we'll connect tomorrow morning!......so after that i went to my meeting with Pastor Kevin for GO! to get caught up and I had a pop quiz that exposed my ignorance (it was bad) and I accidently said MILLION when I meant BILLION for the pop of India so yeah, that was bad, Stairsy would have killed me! anyway, it was great, its going to be a lot of work (I already have a report to do) but i think its going to be great and well worth it! so then it was lunch and I forgot about my bro (taking him to co-op) so he got an afternoon off......the society was ok, I had to help a friend figure out what to do (she and her b/f had their first fight and it was about her parents) and I managed to bring some christian teaching into it (honouring everyone) so that was good, she wanted to know more about it so i'm happy, shes asking stuff! please pray that God would be moving in her (her b/f is also religious).....and i got dismissed from that at 1:30 to go to geo to meet Elizabeth Whitmer (Minister of Education, Federal).....she was weird looking, a bad speaker and didnt answer questions, it was so scripted it wasnt even funny!!!!!! I asked 'if all schools are to be teaching the same thing all the time so students can transfer with ease then WHY are the schools allowed to be semestered in some areas and de-semestered in others?' and all she said for like 5 minutes of talking was that it was the boards decision....and I"m sitting there like, I know that! I'm asking WHY its their decision! and yeah she did that with all the questions and we quickly stopped asking cause we knew the responce would be 'the gov't recognizes that...blah blah blah' and she wouldnt give you a real answer......so we got dismissed at 2:30, but as you know the buses didnt come.......all afternoon we'd been asking if the buses would go early (they started closing roads at noon) but they were like no, no, we're gonna wait and see, unitl it was too late, so our country kids all got stuck in town, oh well tomorrow will be a snow day I"m sure! so then came work and there was NOTHING to do so I got some good reading in! :D after that was Upperdeck club, which we had at Henri's house (beautiful house) and it was pretty cool, so I"m in a great mood right now! and tomorrow should be good too! anyway I should go start my report for GO! and do my phase 4a for history (since I need it for tomorrow if we have classes) so I"ll talk to you guys later! Love and such!
ads anyone?
has anyone noticed all the little banner ads on the pitas these days???? meh, as long as they dont intrude and they keep the pitas running i'm ok with it! So i got a new dresser today!!!!!! its got a HUGE mirror! bigger than tee's!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah i'm quite excited about that! today was campus life and there were lots of people there, good to see! lots of seekers even! :D i met with Tim D today and we talked about a lot and i've got some ideas bout how to deal with my family now (monica also helped with that last night) so thats good and we talked about baptism and stuff and i'm currently mulling that over and i'll let you guys know when i come to some conclusions! I started the 50 day adventure today and already i'm learning stuff!! i learned about persecution and finding God in that (remember this week is going on a God hunt)... tomorrow i meet with pastor kevin about GO ministries (me and leah are the only girls so we're gonna become good friends i'm sure, specially on the weekend trips where we have a room for just the two of us!), and on wed. i meet with Donna M (my mentor) for DT so hopefully by thursday I'll have lots to tell you guys and maybe i"ll be able to write an inspired pita (cause i've noticed that i havent for far too long) anyway, good night dear friends, i love you dearly and i shall talk with you again! Much love!
what i've noticed this weekend.....
well I"ve noticed a couple things this weekend and I'd like to share my findings with all you pitaers! First I found that lately, when ppl have been upset/needing some sort of help/advice, I slip into 'pastor mode' event tho I"m not a pastor (jo knows what I'm talkin about) I went pastory on her hiny! lol anyway I find this to be an interesting aspect of me that needs more examination! Please let me know what your thoughts are on my 'pastorness'....if you've noticed it or not or what you think of it, etc. Another thing I learned was the value of non-verbal communication....it keeps people from having a LOT of misunderstandings (not all but many).......I also learned that verbal cues work miricles.....if you tell a person what exactly you want/need or even just an idea of what would be best for you, they can be of a lot more help than if you just expect them to do it (especially if there is no non-verbal going on) so yeah! I'm gonna try to tell people what I want/need from now on instead of hoping they will guess it! and please if I"m not telling you then just ask 'hey what do you want me to do/say here??' So yeah....
Well I hope to see many of you tonight, remember we're finishing Good Sex tonight! I cant drive so yeah! have a good day!
Family Meeting
well we just had our family meeting! Like I said before, I'm officially screwed! here are the new rules that my parents imposed: 1) business is top priority, our needs come second and the one remaining vehicle is now a business vehicle and I will no longer be driving.........2) me and connor must now take care of cooking and cleaning and making sure things get done, we must both find employment by March 1st (which means they are dictating where I can and cant work) and me and connor must now pay $25.00/week for room and board starting March 1st.......3) we hafta work out a schedule for comp/phone time.........4) I hafta pay back all money owed immediately! so there you have it folks! the hell that is my house just got worse!
Archived!
Hey, I finally archived! and no one was even complaining yet! go me! so yeah today was cool, amie and I hung out and I went to work and now I"m waiting for my parents to be ready for a 'family meeting' we only have those when we're gonna get bad news or yelled at or told that we cant do something or other so I'm not looking forward to it and it will prolly result in yet another argument! ah well, eventually I'll be outta here and not dealing with this anymore! ah, that is the thought that keeps me sane these days cause there's no one else on earth to help me with it right now! (dont worry guys, you're all cool, i'm not upset) so yeah, I finally beat that stupid 'calculation solitare' game again (that makes TWO) so yeah anyway I'm bored and stuff so I"m gonna go wander the net and pray that my 'rents will be somewhere near fair this time!
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Todays Bible Verse
"For I have hidden Your Word in my heart so that I might not sin against You." Psalm 119:11(NLT)
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I've always wanted to be there, I've always wanted to help you. You wouldn't let me when I wanted to. So I gave up, figuring that I cant help if you dont want me to. Then suddenly you come to me for help. Suddenly I am the only one you can rely on. I didn't know what to do, except to keep loving you. It made life hard, it seems so cruel that when I can you wont, when I cant you will. I'm afraid to want to help you because you might decide you dont need it anymore, and then where am I? Back to square one, thats where. When you didn't need me I was a rock, when you did I was but a pebble. Last time you needed me I was on quicksand, this time I'm on a rock, this time I am a rock and this time I can help. This time I will.
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