My Life

Thought For The Day

"How can I serve you better?"

Shell is feeling

tee
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Al
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Brad
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Life is getting long, Love is longer, God is longest. Life is but a dot on the line. Love is on all the dots. God created the dots. There is so much to share, so much to tell and no way to tell it. God must be experienced before He can be believed and before followers can be understood. Trying to survive a spiritual mismatch is difficult, but if they will eventually come to Christ because of it then all the strife, frustration, anger, resentment, confusion and tears will be more than worth it. We do not know when, where, or why someone will make that choice and sometimes our struggles seem pointless without that knowledge, but we must trust that they are not for nothing. Something will come of the strife. It is those who cannot take off away all the suffering at the end that are truly missing out. For what point is there in the struggle if one cannot see the results? What point is there to life if there are no results? What point is there to love with out the results? Without the results there is no point, but the beautiful thing is that there are results! There are always results and therefore there is always a point, we just dont always know it.

Mental Health Day!
I didnt go to school today! I was just too exhasted (as some of you know) so I slept till 11:25! I feel so refreshed and good! Work was great and so was the upperdeck club! The kids were asking some great questions (ie did He really rise from the dead? was He there when the dinos were? etc, it was great) and we watched a silly song with larry! (THe pirates who dont do anything) very good song! anyway I"m awake and ready to go (and full of pop) so I"m going to finally do some hmwk! See you all later!

Commencement
So last night I officially graduated from high school! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO The valedvictorian's speech was so funny! (tho only students and staff would get half of it!) Oh man it was fun! I've got a diploma! and my transcript! no awards, but maybe next year! (if i actually fill out that sheet of course) It was amazing how many people were there! We only have 20-25 of them left and there were like 70! so crazy! I got in about 5am this morning! (oops) Anyway I hafta get my butt in gear now and do stuff so I'll see you all (mostly) tonight!

writing on the wall
If you will scroll down and look to your right you shall see some seeming gobbly goop that makes no sense to anyone. Except me. We all know I'm not a writer, I do great in English but I cant just write things like poetry, I just dont get it. Sometimes words just come and this is one of those times. It is meant for so many people and no one at the same time. I'm not claiming to be any sort of poet or anything, cause I'm not. Anyway that is my little bit of creative writting for tonight, enjoy and take from it whatever message you will. Good night

Deeper!
So last night was Under the Son and the band was so amazing! It was more than a concert, it was a worship service! It was so awsome! Lots of people were there and the band "deeper" was really good (and rather hot). AND they're leading worship at Faith today! Its a hard choice, tee's thinger or deeper at my church and since its currently sunday morning and I dont know where/when tee's thinger is the choice is made for me! Al, it was so much fun! But the soups ready NOW! well put it down to low and when the sandwiches are we'll put it back to max and cook it again! It's STEAMING! look at the ice cubes! lol ho good times good times! Anyway its almost time for church so I shall see you all later! (Call if you want a ride to youth!)

Work
They say that if you do what you like you will never work another day in your life. Well, I hate what I do and am constantly working, not at what I"m supposed to do (well, I do that too) but to keep myself from walking up to Marg and telling her that I quit! That would leave me without an income so I wouldnt be able to go to Florida this march break and that would suck! So yeah, I have to work tomorrow and the thought of doing that has almost got me in tears, its that bad! I've discovered that I"m just not good for that type of job! I am still screwing up majorly and Yvonne always seems angry with me! I'm sorry that I never work fridays, but YOU scheduled it that way! I never once said that I couldn't/wouldnt work fridays so dont be angry with me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I truly hate it there! And I get it! You dont have to tell me you want me there at 3pm as if I have been showing up late every single day because in actuallity I always show up 10-15 minutes early and start right away and DONT ADD IT ONTO MY TIME CARD! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! I just cant stand it there anymore! So my thoughts are I"ll stick it out till after march then quit and go with no income till the end of June when I can get a full time job. ANy thoughts on that? suggestions? help me out guys i dont know what to do! Anyway, on to happier things! TOmorrow is UNDER THE SON!!!!!!!!! WWOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO Deeper is coming to play at St. James Anglican Church (by the lions pool) from 7-9! I'll be there for sure, hope I see you guys there (I"m going with you Al) ANd I burned THREE new cd's today! I'm very excited! You should hear Pachalbels canon techno style! Very cool! Anyway thats enough from me! Good night all!

Quotes!
I'm sorry, I'm just having so much fun with this quote site! (the link is the thing in flames at the bottom of this page) So here are some of the ones that are really hitting with me! A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!....Dream as if you'll live forever...Live as if you'll die ...Everyone who lives dies but not everyone who dies lives...I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry....DONT WISH UPON A STAR REACH FOR ONE....dOn't settLe 4 the oNe yOu Can LiVe wiTh...wAit 4 tHe onE yOu Can't Live WithOut....Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back....A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...Last night I looked up at the stars And matched each one with a reason why I love you I was doing great, but then I ran out of stars....whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?....When I first saw you I was afarid to talk to you*When i first talked to you I was afraid to like you*When i first liked you i was afarid to love you*Now that I love you I m afraid to lose you...DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS U REALLY MEAN IT, CUZ I MIGHT DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BELIEVE IT....To the world your just one person but to one person you could mean the world...You laugh because im diffrent i laugh because you're all the same...If you're going my way, I'll walk with you... and on that note I bid you goodnight.......more quotes forth coming, check out the site, they have poems too! enjoy!

Thoughts
Well, I havent written in a while! sorry guys! Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying and trying to help the people who God puts in my life in whatever way I'm supposed to. I just read Jo's pita entry and I suddenly realized a little bit of how much the Holy Spirit has changed me! There are people who I thought I'd never forgive that I"ve forgiven (including the people who made my life a living hell and brought me to my knees more than once while I was growing up). I've let that whole part of me go, I dont remember the bad parts of my past much anymore (which doesnt seem to leave me with a whole lot, but there is definately some great stuff) The bible says that when we have the Holy Spirit within us we become a new person, we are 'born again'. Man am I ever born again! I am happier, I love to serve others before myself, I hate myself when I'm selfish or jealous (as Tim can tell you), I feel increadibly guilty when I sin, and things are not about me anymore, not even about stuff. Material things arent that important to me (like when I got my stuff stolen at camp, almost all of it had great personal value to me, but its just stuff and there is no point in being upset over it except to the point of feeling sorry for the person who stole it that they had to do that). God has put a burden on my heart, and that is that I want, no NEED to help people, I need to serve them in whatever capacity I can, I need to tell them about God, and I need to push myself to my limits to do that. (tho I dont think that God is asking me to do that, its just that the burden is so strong that I feel compelled to fit 18 hours into each day to do just one more thing for someone if I possibly can). Some people see Christians as people who do really nice things, and too some it seems like we do it to make ourselves look good....and some christians are like that! I am not (at least I dont feel that way) I help people and serve at various things to glorify the Lord and to do the work that I was put here to do. We all have work to do, and I hope that you all know what yours is, and if you dont.......then I pray that God will reveal that to you and that He will place a burden upon your heart so that you know what you need to do and also you will know how to do it! If there is something that I have done/said/acted like/etc that bothers you, please by all means tell me so that I can make things right. B/c its no good to go to God and try and make things right with Him if I havent first made things right with the very people that I have hurt! Good night and God bless!

DT
So yesterday (sat) was the first day of DT (discipleship training) and it was so amazing! We went to Rattlesnake Point (Milton) and first we each went out to a quiet, scenic place to sit by ourselves and read this sheet that was so cool, it was about our purpose in being here on earth. Very cool and heartwarming. Then we got a 'snack' which was really more like fear factor than anything! There were pickled eggs, pickled herring (with skin), root chips, sushi with all the toppings, v8-like juice only a million times worse, sea algea juice (chunky),and beagles with smoked salmon and kerns. It was awful, I had trouble getting the sushi down and staying there! Then we got hot choc. Next was the hike part, some was a little tough and slippery but it was cool. THEN they tied us together to work on team work and communication skills (ah!) THEN they blindfolded all of us! when they tried to make us run I refused (I was on the end) so I grabbed the rope and dug my heels in and leaned back saying no, no, no, we are NOT running! Susie and Tim D were busting a gut, I didn't think it was that funny! So they stopped trying to run and took off 2 ppl's blindfolds (there were 5 of us) and those two got earmuffs (deaf) and un-popped popcorn in their shoes and they had to somehow guide us! so we worked and laboured our way to the top and they (the leaders) set us against the wall and we took off the blindfolds and the view was so amazing! I remarked on how I felt sorry for people who try so hard and work to get to the top of the path and then get there and cant take off their blindfolds and see their reward! aparently that was a good observation. But it was just so beautiful and to have worked that hard (and it was hard work) it was that much more beautiful! its kinda like life, some people are struggling along, cant see, dont know where they are going but they keep going (not even knowing if there is a reward at the end) and finally get there and are able to take off their blindfolds and recieve this great reward. But somepeople will never be able to take off that blindfold and see the reward (God's Kingdom) and that is the saddest thing in the world! Anyway I gotta go do some hmwk now, c ya

Bible College Tour
So tonight was the bible college tour in Brampton. We went to the Crossroads Centre and pretty much all the bible colleges in Canada and some from the USA had little booths set up and you could go around and talk to the reps and get books and stuff. Anyway I found some totally awsome schools (WAY better than any 'normal' schools I've looked at thus far) There are two that I REALLY want to go to (and the best part is, I could afford to go to BOTH and still be done both full programs in 5 years!) One is a 9 month program to become a youth minister and you do 3 months in classes, then 3 months on a missions trip in AUSTRALIA, followed by a 3 month internship. The school is in Victoria BC and costs $6,000ish for the year (this includes tuition, accomodations, air fare to australia, meals, EVERYTHING) And the other school is a 3 year BA with a really cool 4th year option (but I'll get to that in a bit) Its Providence which is just south of Winnipeg (a LITTLE closer to home) and you get a BA in youth ministry, it costs $7000 a year (I think it was that one) and that includes tuition, accomodations, and meals, but doesnt include books (but top end is 900 for those so its not bad). The 4th year option is spent in Ontario and you do rock climbing, canoing, rapids, camping, skiing, any outdoor adventure and at the end of the year you are certified in ALL of them! So when you're done you've got yourself a VERY attractive resume and you can take youth groups on the outdoorsy trips. So thats really exciting. I was looking at other schools thinking kindof 'yeah I wanna do something with history, or maybe teach, or something else entirely and not feeling particularily called to anything, but youth ministry is something I truly enjoy and would love to do for the rest of my life and I'm feeling called towards this. So I"m gonna look a lot more into it and see what happens! I'm so excited!

Todays Bible Verse

"For I have hidden Your Word in my heart so that I might not sin against You." Psalm 119:11(NLT)

Bible Chapter of the Week:

Genesis 6

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I've always wanted to be there, I've always wanted to help you. You wouldn't let me when I wanted to. So I gave up, figuring that I cant help if you dont want me to. Then suddenly you come to me for help. Suddenly I am the only one you can rely on. I didn't know what to do, except to keep loving you. It made life hard, it seems so cruel that when I can you wont, when I cant you will. I'm afraid to want to help you because you might decide you dont need it anymore, and then where am I? Back to square one, thats where. When you didn't need me I was a rock, when you did I was but a pebble. Last time you needed me I was on quicksand, this time I'm on a rock, this time I am a rock and this time I can help. This time I will.