blockednose!

ouch! today, i woke up with a nose that acted as if i had tried to interpose static matter in front of the orifices.

what i mean to say, of course, is that i had a blocked nose.

naturally, this resulted in some rather unforunate side-effects, including but not limited to:

1. using up two rolls of toilet rolls within half an hour
2. coating my chem assignment with a strange, gooey white substance. NO NOT THAT YOU PERV.
3. getting a free 256mb thumb drive.

hmm? that third bit didn't seem to quite fit in. ok. i'll elaborate.

my bro took part in the NSC (National Software Competition)'s Software Quiz section, which is kinda like a theory quiz. by his own admission: "the two sec 2s on my team answered everything!"

they got third place and the stuffs they got were:

1: ipod shuffle (w00t!)
2: 256mb thumb drive
3: CA EZ Armor (antivirus + firewall bundle)
4: eTrust PestPatrol 5 (1 year subscription, shall switch back to PP4 when it runs out =p)
5: a box of 10 CD-Rs
6: Playworks Magazine

good, no? WTH LA!!!!!! the year i took part, even second place wouldn't have gotten anything more than the mp3 player, and a 256mb one at that. wahlao this year's sponsorship is siao lorx. but at least i got a thumbdrive out of it for FREE! =d

man im bored. so, i'll Maple now. my userid's Overmage, and i usually play in Bootes Ch. 3 xD

broke Sunday, August 28, 2005 at 12:02 a.m.
---
Listening To: Wake Up - Hillary Duff

twoandahalfweeksago.

i made the biggest fuckup of my life.

i still regret it.

broke Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 07:02 p.m.
---
Listening To:

ouch.

on Friday,

went to the comp lab immediately after school ended to Maple.

what i had yearned to search for but failed to seek, now appeared before me of my own accord.

the righteous companion turned, and i all but fled into the comp lab.

what is happening to me?

broke Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 06:37 p.m.
---
Listening To: Ass Like That - Eminem

omg wasted my time again. ZZ

Today during lecture Bryan and I proposed a new PW grading system.

EE - Exceeds Expectations
ME - Meets Expectations
AE - Approaching Expectations
GG - You're screwed! =)

But I realized GG didn't fit in with the '-E' vowel sound at the end of the other grades so it got changed to

           EE - Exceeds Expectations
           ME - Meets Expectations
           AE - Approaching Expectations
GGNO RE - You're damn bloody screwed! =)

went to the gym. saw the gym had ppl training inside. guess what. i changed up only to realize it was locked from the inside. then it hit me - a teacher was talking to the students. they must be some cca training, fuck la. wasted my bloody time changing up. damnit la.

at this rate ill never get to go to the gym. hmm must stay back after school next monday to train. i must be able to pass pull-ups by end of jc~!

hmm met valene today while going to school. gosh she must've woken up $!@$!$#$!-ing early. lol she kept making girly sneezing noises every 10 secs or so. =p guess waking up early doesn't agree with everyone.

yesterday, i worked on my PW. today, i work on a GP essay!

...i sometimes wonder which is more useless.

---

and i'm so sorry, but pray tell me, what am i supposed to make of anything now? to turn aside in fear, i am weak, i should be blinded but i cannot resist. i fear to even cross gazes. and yet... i do not know what to make of it. i am just damn freaked out by the consequences of my own madness.

broke Thursday, August 18, 2005 at 09:36 p.m.
---
Listening To:

fuck la wasted my time.

could haf gone to the gym to train my currently loseristic strength. instead, went to NUS but L-Serine's being a bitch and won't dissolve in DMSO. fuck la. damnit that means i still pushed my expt back by one week. fuck la.

was absence because of me?

broke Wednesday, August 17, 2005 at 05:12 p.m.
---
Listening To:

zz

omg fuck la. i cant believe im so careless. i allowed the stupid chemical to slip and be diluted by the water. fuck la diluted its useless. prepared, using the last of the DMSO, another pre-sample, fuck id better not slip up a 3rd time

broke Monday, August 15, 2005 at 06:24 p.m.
---
Listening To:

ok.

~*~Result nr 12~*~

Your power is: The ability to breathe
under water

Explanation: When swimming, you don't
need to get up and take a new fresh breath
since you take in oxygen from the water. This
allows you to stay in the water as much as
you'd like. In good purposes it can save
drowning victims. In evil purposes it can help
you drag down a person to the depths and have
them drowned. This power helps you escape the
world, if even for a bit, since you have grown
to despise it so much.
You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirations
crushed. Now you try to control your hopes
because you don't want to get hurt again. You
feel there is no hope for you in the future and
have no real goals. But unlike the Controller
of Time you do still feel, even if it's mostly
negative emotions. You have few friends, if
any, and feel you are unable to speak about
your troubles. And unlike the Transformer, you
don't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to be
filled despair whereever you go and you are
bitter becaue the world has failed you. It
didn't turn out the way you wanted it too and
you feel betrayed. It is also likely the
feeling of betrayal comes from past
relationships where you were left alone in the
end.
Negative aspects: Since you are highly
depressed and not letting out your emotions
properly there is a possibility for cutting, to
let the emotions out. Also, if the feeling of
despair grows to strong you might consider
taking your life.

What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results]
brought to you by Quizilla

broke Saturday, August 13, 2005 at 10:15 p.m.
---
Listening To:

hmm

List ten songs that you are currently digging... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog. Then tag five other random people to see what they're listening to:

1. If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield
2. Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
3. The Anthem - Good Charlotte
4. Asterisk - Orange Range
5. Misfit - Amy Studt
6. She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
7. Nobody's Home - Avril Lavigne
8. Qi Li Xiang - Jay Chou
9. Radio - The Corrs
10. Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas

err lazy to tag.


broke Saturday, August 13, 2005 at 09:37 p.m.
---
Listening To: Meet My Maker - Good Charlotte

pwpwpw

who has written report guidelines????? I NEED THEM ARGH.

broke Saturday, August 13, 2005 at 09:31 p.m.
---
Listening To: I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte

If You're Not The One

If You're Not The One

Lyrics and Music by Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings,
But I know you are here with me now,
We'll make it through,
And I hope you are the one I share my life with,

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand,
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away,
But I know that this much is true,
We'll make it through,
And I hope you are the one I share my life with,
And I wish that you could be the one I die with,
And Im praying you're the one I build my home with,
I hope I love you all my life,

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand,
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away,
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today,
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right,
And though I can't be with you tonight,
And know my heart is by your side,

I don’t wanna to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand,
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?


broke Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 09:18 p.m.
---
Listening To: If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield

GunZ.

Ok i may not be good at GunZ. But at Gladiator Duels OMG I PWN! XDD

...it must be something to do with my pro-ness at JKJA.

broke Monday, August 8, 2005 at 05:25 p.m.
---
Listening To: Milkshake - Kelis

hmm CDC National Day Dinner.

Ok today was CDC National Day Dinner. Went there with my family.

We were seated with two other families. Apparently one had paid for the dinner (as we were counted among the 'lower-income' group, we got the dinner for free) while the other had a grassroots leader among them (the mother), hence they also got the dinner for free.

It was really umm interesting. The dad, i was absolutely positive I had seen before. Or perhaps I was merely suffering from a deja-vu attack. in any case, the mother was FUGLY FUGLY. yessss. their son was also a fugly one.

but omg! their daughter is SUPER CHIO!!! only k2 and she's already like WHOA. head-turner. give her a few years and she'll be a real chiobu man.

mehh but i didnt like the mother much. ok her daughter definitely DOESNT RESEMBLE HER. omg. fugly mother and chio daughter kinda reminds me of FFIX. nvm.

Mr Maliki Osman, our MP, very kindly helped to haolian for me by saying "You're Eric, right? from RJC?" He still remembered! omg! haha they all looked at me with some respect. which is good. why dont i feel guilty? well, it could be cos they were quite haolian themselves. the mom was horrible. the dad was better but he tried abit too hard to emphasize how pro his fugly son was. hence i felt no fear in noting my own accomplishments.

hmm the dad says he has an elder daughter who is exactly like their youngest daughter. OMG MUST BE A CHAO CHIOBU.

omg i sound lecherous. but the daughter there was really a cutie.

omg i sound like a paedophile. haha nvm.

umm the thing is after we had left, my family started to comment rather viperously on the family we had left.

it just struck me how hypocritical ppl can be. they seemed so friendly and cordial with that family. but the moment we were far from them all the comments, venomous and unforgiving, scathing and vindictive, flew out of their mouths faster than a defecating cow.

how fast do cows defecate anyway? nvms.

at any rate, i was quite disappointed. and i realized ppl everywhere must be like that. im not that kind of person. i can't be hypocritical. difficult. at the very most, i hide my dislike, but i don't like to talk bad behind other peoples' backs. no matter how screwed up they may be, i still feel its wrong.

what a strange concept of honour i have.

enough of my ramblings-which-nobody-reads-anyway for now.

broke Sunday, August 7, 2005 at 12:35 a.m.
---
Listening To: Asterisk - Orange Range

My life has been rated:
See what your rating is!
Created by bart666

broke Saturday, August 6, 2005 at 12:33 a.m.
---
Listening To: Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake

disappointment.

pure and unembellished. at myself.

everything i do, everything i say.

i don't even have to open my mouth. i fuck up long before that.

i scare other ppl and scare myself.

it is ridiculous. my idiocy.

i find myself unable to concentrate on my work. i ended up the whole day before and today with a splitting headache. It was a wonder how i managed to bridge properly today. I would've thought if a AQ finesse was staring at me in the face i would have ducked.

its so damn fucking easy to put up a false front in front of others. if i don't my parents will get suspicious, and wring it out of me.

so when im alone, and no one's paying attention, i find myself sinking further into the trap of self-destruction.

i am selfish, i am wrong, and i know it.

and i hate myself all the more for it.

broke Saturday, August 6, 2005 at 12:00 a.m.
---
Listening To: I Just Wanna Live - Good Charlotte

i stop.

i fucking stop. haha. but maybe i should stop other things too.

haha. to just stop it all...

broke Thursday, August 4, 2005 at 12:54 p.m.
---
Listening To:

haha

they've got it all wrong.

and everything i do, everything i say,

just makes someone madder.

now, it's two classes which shun me. could it soon be three?

bwahaha.

i love myself so much, if i had a shotgun id target it at my head.

omg i am SUCH A BLOODY FUCKER!!!

ahahahahaha!

omg! omg! i was being referred to!

it was me all along! me! me!

and i, in my narcissistic fucktardness, tried to pretend it was not!

all along i was an object of derision!

omg! so it was first curiosity, then irritability, then contempt and outright fear!

omg!

im really such a bloody fucker.

i am that screwed up.

i still can't believe i could have been that stupid, that idiotic, that deluded.

but the demons of my head were right, they were right all the time and have always been,

i overdid it. i'm now paying the price.

and now i bitterly regret my fucking mistake.

note to self: you rock! fuck you!

broke Thursday, August 4, 2005 at 12:47 p.m.
---
Listening To:

wahaha resolved.

yay i was right all along. omg haha i knew i was relli overdoing it.

omgomg haha my own fucking fault see.

i should have fucking stopped should have ignored every1s advice should have obeyed my inner demons they were right all the time, they were sure as hell fucking right and

maybe it was better, at least else i would have fucked myself up even worse.

still, its pretty fucking bad.

omg im such a fucker! option 1, 2 and 3, all correct!

omg! i am such a loseristic ugly fucker, some1 pls slap me fucking silly now.

omg fuck this. fuck myself.

broke at
---
Listening To:

on a side note.

hmm someone thinks i'm in luck.

meanwhile, on a matter completely removed from my recent ramblings, im going to self-destruct soon.

omg jiaxin hit the nail on the head when he commented on me.

i have only myself to blame for being someone no one in their right mind would want to be friends with.

let alone more than friends with.

broke Tuesday, August 2, 2005 at 05:26 p.m.
---
Listening To: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

tmr,

omgomg. ><

strange mind-shift.

i myself don't know how it came about.

broke Sunday, July 31, 2005 at 08:32 p.m.
---
Listening To:

monday.

Omg. Ok.

I feel tredpidation,
fear,
excitement,
and a hell lot of nervousness.
I'm overreacting.

Thinking of all the things that could go right and that could go wrong...

Or that nothing should happen at all, as big a disappointment as if something should go wrong.

But I can't resist. To be lost in that obsidian pool that reaches into the soul.

I know I shouldn't be looking. But I can't stop myself.

I feel myself inexorably drawn into the maelstroms of darkness.

broke Saturday, July 30, 2005 at 10:51 p.m.
---
Listening To:

A post.

I need to re-ealuate myself. So far, I give myself -1 out of 10. I am insensitive at times, irritating, insensitive oh and did i mention insensitive?

those who are my friends are because they are tolerant, more so than most. they understand that behind the occasional crudity of my expressions is a nicer guy.

but i can't go around blaming the majority of RJC who probably hate me. it is impossible to expect anyone to not take what you say at face value.

it is my fault. entirely mine.

sometimes the words just slip out of my mouth, and then inwardly, i feel like kicking myself, ya know? i dunno... i need to re-evaluate myself. i need to start changing.

i need to change. if i continue like this, RJC will become living hell for me, and of my own making.

but, everything's easier said than done.

broke Thursday, July 21, 2005 at 11:01 p.m.
---
Listening To:

ok.


Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful. Image is a painting by Natalya Nesterova,
source:ca80.lehman.cuny.edu/.../
images/fallen_angel.jpg

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

broke Thursday, July 21, 2005 at 10:56 p.m.
---
Listening To:

omg.

disappointment.

To miss a gilt-edged opportunity,

and then to snare another which turns out to just be yet more gold dust.

failure makes me hope fervently that the first will be similarly ashes inside, for it will diminish the hate i am feeling at myself now.

is it wonder, suspicion, or disgust? I wish i knew the answer...

broke Thursday, July 21, 2005 at 10:28 p.m.
---
Listening To:

sianz.

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

Your Political Profile

Overall: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

You are 40% Libra

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

You Are Incredibly Logical

(You got 75% of the questions right) Move over Spock - you're the new master of logic You think rationally, clearly, and quickly. A seasoned problem solver, your mind is like a computer!

How Logical Are You?

You Belong in 1978

1978 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

R.A.B. = Regulus A. Black?

broke Wednesday, July 20, 2005 at 11:07 p.m.
---
Listening To:

Review of HBP

Ok. It's not as good as OOTP or the preceding books.

frankly, i was disappointed.

how could harry have gotten over black so quickly... as if black'd never existed. it seems so artificial and cliched to me.

and the relationships. awfully written, awful.

sounded more like a fanfic to me. and not a good fanfic at that.

i was disappointed. i may have been a staunch HP fan since 1998, but Jo, where's your magic?

did you honestly think 600 pages was enough?

harry doesn't even do anything special until the end. that's just the thing - no mid-way adventure. in GoF it was the First and Second Tasks. in OOTP it was the beginning.

in HBP, there is nothing except the end. which means that from start to finish only the last ten pages were exciting.

omg. im disappointed.

be da man. do da write ding.

more action, less love.

and stick to character. i don't think i've ever ever noticed that hermione was such a stupid person. she might have a rebellious streak in her, but she's not stupid. yet, she is.

!xobile.

broke Monday, July 18, 2005 at 06:24 p.m.
---
Listening To:

OMG I KNOW SINGAPORE'S HUNKIEST BLOGGER. IN FACT, HE'S MY CLASSMATE.

I shouldn't be living so dangerously. =D

broke Monday, July 18, 2005 at 06:10 p.m.
---
Listening To:

hbp.

just finished hbp in 7 hours (i took my time)

all it's done is unlock the deep-seated insecurities in me, more than i had thought existed

bleh. i wish the world had love potions. Felix Felicitus would do just as well, though.

no happily ever after, yet some happilly bit, i feel the monster in my chest shriek jealousy...

part of what they want, they get...

broke Saturday, July 16, 2005 at 08:25 p.m.
---
Listening To:

VILGEHK UPCACCAT

Ur syh. E cyf ran dutyo. Oac, ran.

Cra fyc cdyhtehk fedr ran vneaht eh vnuhd uv dra clrumyncreb puynt. E nalukhewat ran kmucco nat Sewisy pyk ehcdyhdmo.

Drah cra dinhat yht muugat cdnyekrd yd sa. E nyh ehdu dra duemad yht ret.

Yc dra dfu fymgat bycd dra duemad, E cfunh e luimt ryja raynt ran cyo "Ryjah'd caah res eh y frema."

Un syopa, megamo, buccepmo, bnupypmo, E's zicd bynyhuet.

vilg ed.

broke Friday, July 15, 2005 at 10:27 p.m.
---
Listening To:

obsessed

wahaha. this iss obsession.

*takes a deep breath*

i oughta cool down.

hoabntdey d nenua r syamevieored.dtei fsurroeojr i sa em tr aakudttgtfn hie etrc mt tukpoeh.nhp ij aetoueshc lub nchulgstrdgoiu omifesowoy r rz hmtea gonajtb asasi cun aaade.t wtg wiin h ua hrlt gn mgiasr jasirtbgit ynacdae l ,w ta stsnosi wb teo uu ibeh tfotap o csdfiwalme a sonro rhn trhgl aaoo ubs n a ih e ebohway mmnresosogo wfy,yk tu e ets .kmiicnonejidsfctsuho erat kfshe paot gyb oeer om aotudilemy n a r s t.uckiriiifnirebtats n snhn atf n,hrtttsee eraioeem u ttnnaisih oimff.tuniaut.joc ak ut.uba das n dttdiownooho

broke Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 10:14 p.m.
---
Listening To:

p156

saw p156 eating lunch with three nan hua primary school kids.

And on a matter completely unrelated to the above sentence, I had enough...

broke Saturday, July 9, 2005 at 10:04 p.m.
---
Listening To:

depressed

no i really can't take it longer, fuck the cts, even if i breezed thru all of them (and i didn't), it's not going to change how im feeling now.

life is not worth living. no seriously. when no-one means anything to you and you mean nothing to everyone, life is not worth living.

sometimes im amazed at how i can continue to pretend to be cheerful and be the butt of jokes.

inwardly, i feel like screaming. and much more. but i don't. because no-one will care. that's right, no one will give a fuck. because im not worth it. it is my fault, see. maybe the world will be a happier place without me.

broke at
---
Listening To:

haha.

sry its just i keep feeling worthless...

haha judge your life not by how many are your friends but how many weep after your death...

what if i fail on both counts? what does that make me?

not surprising tho... haha.

im also not sure why im bringing this up to myself... yupyup noone reads this shit anyway...

maybe what i need is not to have been born... maybe everyone (including myself) will be happier off this way...

broke Tuesday, June 14, 2005 at 10:01 p.m.
---
Listening To:

blahblah.

ok havent blogged in a long time de... not much pt rite? nobody reads this sh!t anyway. f*** la.

anyway... bridge prac... bridge prac... bridge prac...

brutally massacred a 3NT contract by us... gambled on p having a singleton diams to cross over to my 6-card semisolid diams and he had a void... prevented opps from finding a heart partscore, causing them to settle for a club partscore instead thanks to OSCILLATION (Obstructing Strong Club IntentionaLLy using Alan Truscott's creatION);)

got massacred by a buncha mistakes bjorn made... was seldom declarer so did not have chance to make declarer errors (lol! else how else can i explain how i made so few declarer errors today O.O)

zzz... taught jeffrey some stuffs...

zzz... me go play gb now...

broke Monday, June 13, 2005 at 10:54 p.m.
---
Listening To:

quizzes


You were destined to have a Red Lightsaber. Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the Strength and Power of
the Dark Side of the Force and have you thirst
for more of it.

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

You kill for
revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla




In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything
because your eyes are covered up by tears! You
are constantly hurt and depressed... No one
seems to understand how you feel because
everyone is scared to get close to you... You
long to be able to reach out and tell someone
everything, and all of your problems... But you
have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to
want to hear what you have to say. You've been
hurt many times that you don't seem to have any
tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an
endless river flowing... You've started to hide
and bottle up all or your problems and
feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go
away... You want company, but at the same time,
you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your
room where you can just be alone and try to
throw away all of your aching pains. You're
dark and mysterious and people like you for
that reason. Even if you think you're all by
yourself in the dark, someone is always there
with you. Your special someone wants to admit
and show their feelings towards you, but
they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out
more and enjoy life because, it is far too long
to frown your way through :)

What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla

broke Saturday, June 4, 2005 at 09:59 p.m.
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Listening To:

hmm

LOL. i mistook zone 2 room 231 pw whee as saying, the password was pw, whee. =P

Lol. Did not get pwn3d at gb for once.

triangular pwnz4g3.

whee (lol =P) got a wierd graph for my products for srp. gna show dr fan nxt mon. hmms. hope its useful =)



And if the mockingbird don't sing and the ring don't shine
I'ma break that birdie's neck,
I'll go back to the jeweller who sold it t'ya,
And make him eat every carat, don't fuck with dad. *ha ha*

broke Friday, June 3, 2005 at 10:43 p.m.
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Listening To:

...

You scored as Loner. Loner 100% Punk/Rebel 44% Geek 44% Ghetto gangsta 25% Stoner 25% Drama nerd 13% Goth 13% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 0% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

broke Monday, May 30, 2005 at 10:09 p.m.
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Listening To:

isolophobia

Ah, thats the word =P

I think I'm the only one who understands what this post means.

nvm.

broke Sunday, May 29, 2005 at 05:43 p.m.
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Listening To:

lol

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life. “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” “It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.” --Jean-Paul Sartre “It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.” --Blaise Pascal More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Existentialism 100% Utilitarianism 80% Justice (Fairness) 80% Hedonism 65% Nihilism 60% Strong Egoism 55% Apathy 50% Kantianism 45% Divine Command 25% What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

broke Sunday, May 29, 2005 at 01:56 a.m.
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Listening To:

long stories cut short

Thursday:
Went for match support, badminton we won by a whisker, rugby we got pwn3d (as i predicted).

due to squishy's excellent suggestion, clare, squishy and I ended up walking a very long distance from Police Academy to Toa Payoh MRT station. X.X


Friday:
Nezzie and the rest went to meet XT at J8. Couldn't tag along cos of Bridge Intra-pairs. Hmms too lazy to blog abt directing it.

Daisy Pulls It Off. Max and Shu Min were a riot.
Hmms clare bought liek 10+ flowers? Give every performer she knew oso got extra left over. Lols ended up carrying it all the way home. Sent me into bouts of sporadic lameness on the lack of turgor pressure in the stems and shiny pollen grains on my fingertips. (oi the stamens are nice to touch ok. like carpet.)

Clare has opposable thumbs. O.O

Today:
Typed out a long email.

Blah.

broke Saturday, May 28, 2005 at 10:33 p.m.
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Listening To:

lol. time-waster.

Instructions:
1) Cut and paste this meme onto your blog.
2) Bold whatever is true of you.

I can decently speak more than three languages.
I can speak my dialect.
I live with my grandparents.
I've never cross-dressed before.
I personally know someone who died/was hospitalised of SARS.
I had SARS.
I don't know how to play mahjong.
I don't know how to play Blackjack.
I can decently play more than three instruments (and no, the recorder is not).
I have spent more than 0 on an item before. - how about eight times that... XD

My preferences:
I do not hate pink.
I'm anti-yaoi.
I'm anti-yuri.
I'm anti-hentai.
I usually support the bad guys.
I wish I could change my gender. - at will only =PP
Japanese cars over continental cars.
Channel U over Channel 8. - both suck
Today over Straits Times.
Kino over Borders.
Film fests over Hollywood.

My sch life:
I hate RI.
I think pai kias are cool.
I passionately love an academic subject - nuclear/quantum physics
I was not from the Express stream.
I took Higher mother tongue. - bwahaha
I was never a class rep/comm member/prefect.
I have had more than 3 CCAs at one time.
I did things just for CCA points.
I got 10 points or less for my L1R5. - lol
I never pon class before.
I never got booked before. - oops.
I was the teacher's pet.
I loved my school library.
I think inter-fac/house events are a waste of time.
I liked/like social studies. -omgwtf.
For primary school, I prefer to be in a single-sex school.
For secondary school, I prefer to be in a single-sex school.
I had/have a crush on a teacher.

My leisure time:
I have never went clubbing before.
I have never watched a Korean drama before. - i don't even watch tv...
I've watched 15 before. - whats that.
I am a fan of one or more local bands.
I love J-rock.
Screw the Oscars.
I am a reality TV whore. - no wayy
I confess. I like some of Britney Spears's songs.
My favourite hangout is Orchard. - no fav hangout...
I have traveled to all continents. - no, not been to South America or Africa yet...
I prefer Sly over Taufik. - no wayy

My love life:
I had/have a stead.
If yes: I've never been dumped before. - T.T
I'm straight.
I want to marry a foreigner.
I was a third-party before.
Even if I like someone, I won't do the confessing.
I'm seme. - whats that.
I believe that there's nothing wrong with dumb guys dating smart girls
I personally do not mind having such a relationship. Even if it be marriage.
I am against fornication.

My political leanings:
I support the PAP. - dotz
I think we should have the casino.
If I had the chance, I want to join the government. - want is not the same as 'mustbecauseofscholarshipbond'
And as the opposition.
I think the government should legalise firearms.
I hope that one of LKY's grandchildren does not become our prime minister.
I believe that we should have complete freedom of speech.
I'm anti-Mahathir.
I'm anti-Bush.
I did not support the Iraqi War.
I seriously believe that Singapore and Malaysia should again consider merger in the future. OMFGLOL
National education is a necessary evil. - NO WAYY

Food:
I have eaten dog-food. - hey it was by accident!
I only like Chinese food.
I hate Mc's.
I hate KFC.
I hate BK.
I've never eaten at Crystal Jade.
I've never eaten at Bread Talk.
I hate Bread Talk.
I've eaten at Equinox.
I've eaten at Raffles Hotel.
I've eaten at Chjimes.
I've eaten Ghim Moh's famous char kuay tiao. - and i didn't even know i did back then! =P

Thou Art a Pai Kia!:
I've taken drugs before. - paracetemol (panadol), anyone? =P
I've stolen before. - does nezzie's bottle count? =P
I've smoked before.
I have a tattoo.
I'm into BDSM.
I've more than one piercing on any ear.
I've non-ear piercings.
I think cult groups are cool.
I've watched porn before. - my entire sec 1/2 class did.
I usually don't put my phone to silent-mode in the cinema.
I'm proficient in Hokkien vulgarities.
I'm not a virgin.


broke Monday, May 23, 2005 at 12:28 a.m.
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Listening To:

from xt's lj:

Star Wars Horoscope for Libra

You are on a lifelong pursuit of justice and determined to succeed. You convey the art of persuasion through force. You always display your supreme intelligence. You have a great talent in obtaining balance between yourself and your surroundings. Star wars character you are most like: Obi-Wan Kenobi

broke Sunday, May 22, 2005 at 07:10 p.m.
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Listening To:

ninth

bleahez cldve been fourth but im not so hardup for glory... so long as my testimonial got put i get fourth can liao =P

dead tired... spent the past hour reading Laws Of Duplicate Contract Bridge (A TD's Guide) and preparing for the selection test... its damn f***ing hard work...

dozing off...

broke Sunday, May 22, 2005 at 01:38 a.m.
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Listening To:

omg almost forgot

met sean at prefect investiture on weds! woohoo!!!

from nezzie's blog:

You Are 50% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

broke Friday, May 20, 2005 at 12:52 a.m.
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Listening To:

grrrr

ahh ish haesh tish yoush allish.

watching ROTS tmrw (act today =P) AHH I WANNA SEE ANAKIN CHOP UP ALL THE GOOD GUYS. THATS RIGHT. =P

omg practised bridge today until like 7.30 O.O

zzz. Symmetry might not be allowed in NUSS. Lol.

broke Friday, May 20, 2005 at 12:45 a.m.
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Listening To:

wtf

omg why the fuck is rcbc so screwed up...

why is xueli my p... or is it bjorn... i dun even noe...

2 days you tell me how to establish partnership with xueli lor...

then why the fuck did bjorn so eagerly re-instate his committment... at leas think of me right...

sigh i really am fucking screwed la. sorry sean but im even more disappointed now...

broke Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 12:28 a.m.
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Listening To:

dance nite coverage

omfg screwed up. forgot to bring extra memory and ran out of disk space halfway. the time spent freeing up space meant i missed almost all the good shots X.X to all: look to teddy for all the shots on friday; i prolly wun haf any good ones. next time i cover anythg, ill rmb to bring a spare stick!!! X.X the worst part was hip-hop. for us i mean. during the breakdancing component, teddy turned on rapid-fire and used up his entire cf card in one go X.X

technical difficulties screwed dance nite up somewhat... but it was MUCH better than the rehearsal. they took up my suggestion even though i didnt voice it to them. lol. "just get dehui to go up stage at the end of hip-hop while the music is still playing and do Flare or sth" and they did! muuuch better. =)

broke Saturday, May 14, 2005 at 10:28 p.m.
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Listening To:

GPP. AHHH

Hate the GPP.

HATE THE GPP!!!

Lol.

Today: Physics SPA was easy. Went home with valene and realized clare took the mrt after me. Lol realize tis wk wun be gg home with clare at all. hoho. got dance nite coverage tmr. stresssssss, tink teddy's gonna pwn me with his ultra gosu 1337 camera!!!!!!!111111111243547683%@$

Omg damn tired now. Ok err tried to spoil Clare and got very interesting results. Ok more to the tune of "shush".

(8) spoilers (8) [copy and paste into msn messenger convo window if you don't get this]

xt, general grievous has two arms, splittable into four, he can wield one, two, three or FOUR lightsabers, using his empty hands to wield other things such as blasters and bomb devices. w00t! I know more than you in this field. omfg! I pwn! mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!111111111111223353#%@$@$@

THE JEDI CODE:

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.

THE DARK JEDI CODE:

There is no peace, there is anger.
There is no fear, there is power.
There is no death, there is immortality.
There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side.

I am the Heart of Darkness.
I know no fear,
But rather I instill it in my enemies.
I am the destoyer of worlds.
I know the power of the Dark Side.

I am the fire of hate.
All the Universe bows before me.
I pledge myself to the Darkness.
For I have found true life,
In the death of the light.

THE SITH CODE

Peace is a lie, there is only Passion.
Through Passion, I gain Strength.
Through Strength, I gain Power.
Through Power, I gain Victory.
Through Victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall set me free.

Interesting how the Dark Jedi Code is more evil-sounding than the Sith Code. Nvms.

Vaapad!!! Mace Windu r0xx012z!!!!!111111124335547658#@!$#^%$#

broke Friday, May 13, 2005 at 01:13 a.m.
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Listening To:

pfft.

You scored as Ron Weasley. You often feel like second best and as a result don't have an awful lot of self confidence, but a truer more capable friend would be hard to find. Ron Weasley 85% Ginny Weasley 80% Hermione Granger 75% Sirius Black 75% Remus Lupin 60% Albus Dumbledore 55% Severus Snape 50% Harry Potter 50% Draco Malfoy 45% Lord Voldemort 10% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

broke Wednesday, May 11, 2005 at 11:35 p.m.
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Listening To:

cjc... and some stuff

hmms cjc... im in shaman's and chicky's team... hmm wateva happened to 'all the strong ppl together'? Haha not saying chicky's lousy but if im not wrong... hes not that strong.

anw, i din get thru interviews, as expected =(

heh playing jkja is irritating got so many servers to search thru =P

tio owned by the lag a few days ago, went into a room and died w/o knowing why.

0.4 kills per death! X.X it was 2.1...

bleahz all the friends i know running for house are in moor-tarbet.

all the best to dwayne, alan, sam jo, nash, clare and janaki! =)
Lando didn't have a choice... but you do! So if you don't want to see this, (M)ust vote (T)hem! X.X

broke Wednesday, May 11, 2005 at 11:15 p.m.
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Listening To:

hypocrisy *grins*

'brushing aside' an incident and moving on doesnt mean you continue mentioning it everyday, as if to attempt to goad me into a retort, now is it =)

think ive made my point.

broke Sunday, May 8, 2005 at 08:48 p.m.
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Listening To:

OUCH,

forgot the mandatory congratulations to:

Vipul for becoming Astro Chair
Nezzie for becoming First Aid Sec
Teddy for becoming Photog Chair
Janaki for becoming Photog LO
Tuuuurtle for becoming Photog VC
Jon for becoming Photog Treasurer

and no congra

broke Saturday, May 7, 2005 at 11:36 p.m.
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Listening To:

interesting

the most powerful way to win an argument:

goad the other side into a retort. when due task accomplished, use as evidence to blame other side. ;)

i hafta say, it ain't half unconscious.

broke Saturday, May 7, 2005 at 11:31 p.m.
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Listening To:

must control... the dark side...

cannot... be... overwhelmed... must... not... surrender...

*grinz*

broke Saturday, May 7, 2005 at 11:30 p.m.
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Listening To:

omg this quiz is so inaccurate.

Your #1 Match: ESTJ

The Guardian You're a natural leader and quick, logical decision maker. Goals are important in your life, and you take many steps to acheive them. You enjoy interacting with others, mostly through work related activities. Your high energy level means you are great at getting things done! You would make a great teacher, judge, or police detective.

Your #2 Match: ESTP

The Doer You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second. You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown. Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor. You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you. You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.

Your #3 Match: ENTJ

The Executive You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others. Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise. Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow. You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence. You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant.

broke Saturday, May 7, 2005 at 07:00 p.m.
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Listening To:

lols. pwnz4g3~!!!!

w00t! pwn3d at JKJA!!! went to a US Public Server (i think it was by Gotenks and some other guy) and played for three rounds with 20+ other ppl in a FFA. got 5th for the first, 3rd for the second and 3rd for the third. and considering I only joined the first round halfway, that's not half bad huh? ;) after being stuck at 3rd for a long time, I got bored and decided to try dual sabers. BAD mistake. dropped to 8th place straightaway. LOL. Then changed to single saber and that didnt work out either. So i changed to melee and kicked ppl to death! LOL.

looks like im sticking to saberstaff.

X can't be a girl. Simply put, i can count the number of girls i consider friends on my fingers. Hence, if X is a girl, i never considered her a friend. and that's good! i don't need such people as friends anyway. =)


broke Saturday, May 7, 2005 at 06:43 p.m.
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Listening To:

koped from nezzie, in turn koped from xt

You’re stuck in Fahrenheit 451. Which book would you be?
porn mag!!! //drools

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
yeah lol. cute little bunny girls from reading too much hen-AHEM AHEM. THAT WAS A JOKE. Actually no. =P

What is the last book you bought?
Two Over One Game Force by Max Hardy. Bridge books count rite? =P

What are you currently reading?
None - ive exhausted my book supply! I WANT MORE!

What five books would you take to a deserted island?

1. All the HP books! w00t!
2. LOTR Complete Edition!
3. The Complete Guide to Squeezeplay!
4. A diary!
5. A book actually just a cutaway with a hidden compartment containing Bicycle cards! =PP

broke Friday, May 6, 2005 at 11:38 p.m.
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Listening To:

house comm interviews, hoho.

House comm interviews on thursday. ARGH#$@%$#!!#@ WHY IS HADLEY-HULLETT SO SCREWED. THEY KOPED PHOTOG'S IDEA OF USING OHP TO SHINE ON MY EYES AND SUMMORE DUN LET ME SIT DOWN. WTF!$!#!##

I kept empahsizing wat a 'creative and spontaneous person' i was so they said "Since you keep emphasizing wat a creative and spontaneous person u are, i give u 1 minute to come up with something spontaneously!" So I told them all the lame jokes i knew... thanks congren! =P

As for clare's interview (she's in moor-tarbet so did not suffer the same gruesome fate as me), apparently the interviewers said "we've been having the same boring people telling us the same things and it's getting a bit boring. do something to amuse us." so she told them the mua chee joke that i told her. ROFLMAO.

on to not-so-light-hearted matters:

1. I still do not know who X is, or if X is simply a psychic control.

2. Sth to do wif CCA. I will not post it here, but my meaning is very obvious to those who i have already confided in.

3. ROTS. Clare and Nezzie and the rest have already booked tickets. Which means I dun haf anyone to watch wif. Which means I'll be watching on a pirated DVD again. This fucking sucks. T_T I am seriously quite down now...

broke Friday, May 6, 2005 at 11:10 p.m.
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Listening To:

TO A CERTAIN PERSON

If you won't accept an apology,

THERES NO NEED TO GO ON AND BITCH ABOUT IT.

broke Thursday, May 5, 2005 at 12:19 a.m.
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Listening To:

Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong, What's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

Chorus:
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

Chorus
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's fallen behind
And she can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

Chorus
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh, oh
She's lost inside, lost inside
Oh, oh, oh
Yeah...

broke Wednesday, May 4, 2005 at 07:41 p.m.
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Listening To:

inez rawks die pw die! says:
haha. y worry so much? what has been done has been done. i think i have an idea who the person is and we're all quite close to each other. whatever u tell one of us will get arnd eventually.

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
a blog is sth else... ...

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
im not worrying, i was already pissed off that she kaypohed her way to the truth

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
the blog posting was just the icing on the cake

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
all i need is for some random joker who wants me dead to have read its pre-censored version.

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
there are lots of these random jokers, more than a hundred of them

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
percentage probability that they blogsurf there is not too low

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
wateva gets btwn u ppl

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
i dun care

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
but if it gets out

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
im gna haf to endure a whole lot of shit

[Сǿ] volcano. watch out.` `18 days...*‮٭‮* says:
and its happened before, im not being paranoid

inez rawks die pw die! says:
hmm. tt makes sense. try telling angie tt la.

broke Wednesday, May 4, 2005 at 12:03 a.m.
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Listening To:

.bah.

look im sorry to get all flared up like that.

but not everyone sees things as lightly as u.

and you know im emotionally ragged,

so try to bear that in mind,

and i won't need to flare up like that, ever.

broke Tuesday, May 3, 2005 at 11:11 p.m.
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Listening To:

i dun believe it

ShoutBox, Tagboard, are DOWN!!! The only one seeming to work is Floobie...

get well soon XT! or maybe not... -.-;; =P

bleahz. currently doing GP essay arghargh.

sianz. then after that play Golden Sun 2. =D

broke Tuesday, May 3, 2005 at 07:58 p.m.
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Listening To:

the cat is out of the bag.

'nuff said... the cat is out of the bag... -.-;;

and she still doesn't suspect anything...

broke Tuesday, May 3, 2005 at 12:55 a.m.
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Listening To:

haha

oh man my laughs these days are so bitter.

all day long my thoughts are like seriously clogged up. with my problems. and with ~.

wave of sadness that just washed over me.

bleahz i shud already give up... but as angelique said so long as u try, you'll always have a chance (referring to teddy, lol)

shud i continue trying?

the signs say that i shud give up... ~ is not interested in anyone now...

i feel like banging my head against the wall...

broke Monday, May 2, 2005 at 08:19 p.m.
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Listening To:

:stuff:

had a semi-heated discussion with angelique... yeah cant blame her really. hehs anyone wud haf been heated up.

know this sounds selfish. but all my life... u could say ive always envied ppl in their cliques...

george, with G3...

the BLH...

CS cliques...

ive always been the lone ranger... the odd one out.

never really belonged anywhere.

never close to a group of ppl.

is this selfishness? i just envy ppl who have a grp of friends close to their hearts...

i do not delude myself; i have no such grp of ppl.

angelique was rite when she mentioned e ppl who would have nightmares if i were to suicide.

but having nightmares when i suicide is not the same as wat im missing;

im missing this group of ppl;

im missing a safety net.

nothing to catch me as i fall,

normal friends, even true normal friends, cant do much you know, they have their own good friends.

george has his clique...

others have their cliques...

no matter how many normal friends u haf, even true normal friends,

isnt quite the same as having a group of ppl who u really feel damn comfortable wif.

worse thing is if u feel comfortable wif a grp which DOESNT FEEL COMFORTABLE WIF U... ok this might be paranoia speaking, or maybe the correct cynic.

whatever it is,

its this lack of an inner circle of closest friends.

any ppl i know at that stage yet? i haf no idea...

broke Monday, May 2, 2005 at 12:09 a.m.
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Listening To:

:ignorance:

~ doesnt even know, im obvious enough already...

under her nose, ive been so obvious already...

in front of her...

in front of everyone else...

damnit, can't you just flat out say it...

flat out give me some indication... interest or flat rejection...

or perhaps you are truly ignorant...

broke Sunday, May 1, 2005 at 11:00 p.m.
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Listening To:

:today:

w00t! tied with XT at JKJA. ok not really. if i went one-on-one with her i tied with her, but when outsiders were thrown into the mix, i beat her by a comfortable if not overwhelming margin.

lala. her n00b tactics seem to work well against me X.X

got whooped at gb by her ytd... X.X

who else wants someone to freefrag in gb, or a not-so-easy freefrag in JKJA, IM me... =P



i don't understand this, day and night, i keep thinking of ~... no dreams, my nights are voids of inky blackness, clouded with thoughts of ~... i can't function, can't think, can't pass the day without thinking of ~...

broke Sunday, May 1, 2005 at 10:42 p.m.
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Listening To:

:yesterday:

went out to david's *can you call it housewarming bbq*.

q. interesting on whole. ate beef at first, then ate beefthatdidnottastelikebeef, then ate beefharderthanreinforcedconcrete. ><

played asshole daidee... ALOT of asshole daidee.

ben cai can't jump. =P

its so wierd you know, im usually this f**ker who can't shut his f**king trap arnd ppl but there, i wasnt talking much. not like i had much to say, din even feel like i belonged there.

felt like an outsider.

i feel like an outsider all the time.


broke Sunday, May 1, 2005 at 10:39 p.m.
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Listening To:

im surprised some people haven't guessed who ~ is by now. or that ~ hasn't guessed it herself... or maybe i really haven't been obvious enough. in that case, i pwn. lol.

but im seriously feeling ****ed up now. wtf do things like this keep happening to me. everytime i see a hope, it dangles tantalizingly, almost within my grasp, and i grab at it and fall off the cliff im perched on.

i am a failure in my social and school life.

broke Saturday, April 30, 2005 at 12:20 a.m.
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Listening To:

phobias

lols didnt know clare had acrophobia and squishy had claustrophobia. heh physical phobias. i have atychiphobia. beat that.

sometimes i get extremely depressed over these small failures. and i get excessively worried about them. if i have one, i fear the next, and i can become close to suicidal over them.

still don't know what is it you're thinking...

broke Friday, April 29, 2005 at 10:59 p.m.
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Listening To:

chem spa

oshit it was frickin easy. period.

voting today (for photog duh). nezzie din get in! =( oh well.

soooo damn funny. teddy for his election speech said "i hope photog can become a place where we can develop relationships" and everyone was like OHHHHHHH and HRRRM HRRM and looking very deliberately at nezzie. then when jon went to give his speech there were calls of "OI WHY NEVER TALK ABOUT BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS?" Then Angie din get it at first. lol talk about sloww. haha j/k =)

*grin* i think we're all damn bad to nezzie. hey blame it on ted and jon! =PP

quote from mr ali: "no really, im quite impressed with her. i mean, who else has the ability to get the whole ensemble?"

(he was referring to Pink Angelfish XD)

and on a completely different issue:
*winces* maybe i haven't been direct enough...

broke Friday, April 29, 2005 at 10:23 p.m.
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Listening To:

bleh.

blah day today. had physics tutorial where i basically drew a graph which, no matter what i did, would have at least one error. tired of repeatin it.

dun understand why all my pracs this yr are getting f***ed up. tmrw is chem spa and i tink im gna die.

screw it la.

walked to the mrt with clare and squishy today and was talking alot alot of cock. ive been getting more and more vocal and i dont like it. makes me a loud irritating person. im loud all the time but im getting even louder lately.

bleahz.

broke Thursday, April 28, 2005 at 10:50 p.m.
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Listening To:

what kind of a friend are you?

You Are A Social Butterfly

You love your friends so much... You're motto is "the more, the merrier"! Making sure everyone's included is your mission And you always prefer a group of ten to a group of two

right. since when do i have so many friends?

*grin* the group of people i am most comfortable with, i cannot be in.

and no other groups.

bah.

broke Thursday, April 28, 2005 at 12:43 a.m.
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Listening To:

physics lab

o yeah forgot to blog abt this.

so cool. liquid nitrogen. it looked like boiling water, but oh so cold. demonstrator removed a piece of black ceramic from the liquid nitrogen and placed it on a metal track. it FLOATED above the track and zoomed around when given a light tap.

xt tried her hand at it while i held the stupid metal plate in place. she tried so many times and totally cmi. =PP

air gun! air gun! w00t! snap back the gun and an invisible shockwave spreads through the air to thud into your unsuspecting victim with great force! omgwtf! w00t!

broke Wednesday, April 27, 2005 at 11:32 p.m.
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Listening To:

end of RMMs.

:'( end of rmms. ok im damn sad now. it was damn frickin fun while it lasted. ok now cannot see vincent or xt as often anymore. maybe occasionally but definitely not as frequently. plus dun get the chance to see wierd and interesting stuff wif all e fun ppl.

ok now im feelin worse. lol.

xt proposed some study group for promos/A'levels? lol i rly wouldnt mind but to implement it is hard. lazzyy me.

cant lose touch haha.

i want a pink zen micro!!

and more mp3s. =PP

broke Wednesday, April 27, 2005 at 11:08 p.m.
---
Listening To:

some other things

today, i left home with a very big stomachache. when i arrived at bishan i realized i needed to go to the toilet DOUBLE-TIME.

waited at MRT toilet for 5 mins!!!

cldn't take it and ran to J8 toilet.

By the time I was done it was 7.15. Went out and met Sophia.

Soph: Hey, how come I never see you take mrt train before?
Me: Because I take the early train haha
Soph: Really? Wat time?
Me: 6.30...
Soph: Haha I also take 6.30. From Jurong East.

w00t. some people just live plain far away. now I know one more person who takes north too! yay! =D

An intelligent quote from Laoshen the master: "Hey, you know what I did? I missed game. Let me tell you what happened. Partner bidded 1H. I had 13 points and 4-card heart support so I bidded 2H. Then my partner got damn pissed off. So I said 'that's 2 over 1 right?' He said 'NO.' "

liek, omfglol.

today's bio prac was superglue! got superglue stuck to my thumb and apparently, the only common chemical to rid your hand of it is nail varnish remover. Fortunately the school stocks sodium acetate which also helps rid it... else id be having a wierd feeling at my fingertips now.

damn heard some j0k312 squirted it in his eye and had to see a doctor. OUCH.

crushes suck ok. when you have a crush it makes you confused. angie thinks crushes brighten up one's day but i feel they just make one confused. i mean, your confused, like seriously, ur minds sometimes obsessed about him/her, like ur confused all the time about his/her actions, is he/she hinting at anything, or are you just getting false hopes, etc, etc, you know the rest. doesnt exactly make you a very happy person.

does she know i like her? i wonder...

broke Tuesday, April 26, 2005 at 09:49 p.m.
---
Listening To:

ARGHHHH

I am DAMN GG. DAMN GG.

Skipped an entire math lecture today because I thought it was break time.

Had to learn R-formula from laoshen for half an hour and still dun fully get it.

Did until q. 10 of assignment, with 3 qns skipped! X.X

oh, and I was trapped in the rj lift today XD with some ppl from 3n.

damnit stop going offline at 8pm xt. I WANT MORE MP3s.

if bjorn could go online more often, practise would be much easier...

broke Tuesday, April 26, 2005 at 09:33 p.m.
---
Listening To:

dipsh*t

blogging from rj library.

everywhere i go i heard abt ppl talking abt wat interview they're going for.

am i destined to live a life of mediocrity in rj?

sadly, i think so.

someone tell me im wrong. please. i don't want to wallow in this dipsh*t.

broke Tuesday, April 26, 2005 at 09:08 a.m.
---
Listening To:

sigh

ok today some ppl gave insensitive comments and i'm feeling abit down again.

they got nezzie ETM for her 1-year delayed bdae present [hooray for her =)] and i just sorta realized how sad a life i lead. i've never received a birthday present in all my 15 years. and i've never felt close enough to anyone to give them a present on theirs.

sigh. maybe this yr will be different. or maybe not. i think i'm just gonna see the same stupid bdae again. no presents, not even a card. just the same stupid cliche song-singing.

i feel so loved.

you know your life's sad when you don't really look forward to your birthdays...

broke Monday, April 25, 2005 at 11:46 p.m.
---
Listening To:

What Gender Is My Brain?

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female. You think with your heart, not your head. Sweet and considerate, you are a giver. But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

broke Sunday, April 24, 2005 at 09:49 p.m.
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Listening To:

w00t

yay XT rocks! Now I've got 133 mp3s in my comp and i want moreeee.

*grin* finished downloading the infernal gb file after an hour.

broke Sunday, April 24, 2005 at 05:37 p.m.
---
Listening To:

haiz

sometimes i wonder if im doing ppl a disservice by pouring out my problems to them... maybe i should kp my probs to myself... but then i'll crack... i dunno...

thanks angie sizun nezzie bjorn xt clare zikai... it's ppl like u who make me see some good in e world... others not necessarily not good, you might be great ppl (or bastards/bitches, depends) but i wouldn't try to have your names here as well, cos if that was so it means i'd told you. it's just i don't want to tell everyone and make myself to be some sort of attention-seeker. Do NOT ask if you do not know what I'm talking about, i will not tell you anything.

bleargh i don't even know what i'm blogging abt... incoherent...

broke Sunday, April 24, 2005 at 02:29 a.m.
---
Listening To:

gb

nezzie just rekindled my interest in gb. w00t!

installing now...

(and everything i do is just to take my mind off things, try to run away from the senselessness of it all, but i can't forgive, let alone forget...)

broke Sunday, April 24, 2005 at 02:26 a.m.
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Listening To:

If I were a month I would be: july
If I were a day of the week I would be: sunday
If I were a time of day I would be: last period
If I were a planet I would be: pluto
If I were a sea animal I would be: sea anemone
If I were a direction I would be: in
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: cupboard
If I were a sin I would be: suicide
If I were a historical figure I would be: stalin
If I were a liquid I would be: hcl
If I were a stone, I would be: diamond
If I were a tree, I would be: redwood
If I were a bird, I would be: peregine falcon
If I were a tool, I would be: laser
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: venus flytrap
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: tornado
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: dragon
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: lutar
If I were an animal, I would be: tiger
If I were a color, I would be: black
If I were an emotion, I would be: depressed
If I were a vegetable, I would be: taughey
If I were a sound, I would be: the sound of colors
If I were an element, I would be: plutonium
If I were a car, I would be: lamborghini
If I were a song, I would be: boulevard of broken dreams
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: some loser
If I were a book, I would be written by: some loser
If I were a food, I would be: cookies and cream
If I were a place, I would be: hell
If I were a material, I would be: superglue
If I were a taste, I would be: poisonous
If I were a scent, I would be: sickly
If I were a religion, I would be: atheist
If I were a word, I would be: fuck
If I were a body part I would be: dick
If I were a facial expression I would be: frown
If I were a subject in school I would be: chinese. its the only subject as screwed up as i am.
If I were a cartoon character I would be: toad from x-men
If I were a shape I would be a/an: knife
If I were a number I would be: -inf

broke Sunday, April 24, 2005 at 12:50 a.m.
---
Listening To:

Odds Stacked Against Me

Bjorn thinks i shouldn't blame myself as the odds were stacked against express ppl in the first place.

violently oppose me, eh? fuck you. you know who you are. you don't know that i've changed. all you have of me are your memories of what a cibai i was in sec 1/2, i won't deny that. but you don't even bother to see the new me. all you have are your memories. fuck you. you who let fuckers with no committment get in. you're sending us all to hell. fuck you. whoever you are.

thanks xt i needed that talk. but i'm still feeling very depressed.

when slackers rule and committment ultimately doesn't even matter,

makes you wonder what's the point of putting in any effort at all.

i'm becoming increasingly suicidal.

what's the point of studying hard, putting in effort, and all that,

if when god decides to fuck you up,

you will?
i'm sorry, janaki, but i can't be happy anymore.

this has left a scar upon me. i've become more cynical and less self-confident than before.

i am worthless. don't try to deny it. at least give me one truth i can hold on to in this mad fucking world.

i am worthless.

broke Saturday, April 23, 2005 at 10:17 p.m.
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Listening To:

as if i wasn't already sad enuff abt something today.

game over. you win i lose.

god turns the thumb down.
fuck this.

im as good as useless. no friends, no cca, and frankly, i wont be surprised if my CTs all fail. results - the third frame of my triangle to collapse. if things ever reach that point then suddenly bishan mrt looks inviting.

now i truly know i am a loser.

next time i hear someone insult me, i will loudly concur with his insult so that the whole world knows i suck.

broke Friday, April 22, 2005 at 08:48 p.m.
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Listening To:

:zz:

Blah day...

Mostly nondescript but the physics mock spa was so F**KED UP. FUBAR. I'M THE ONLY GUY IN THE CLASS WHO DIN DRAW A GRAPH. Cos my correction tape ran out halfway and I had an anomalous result at the start which caused me to redo twice and waste 15 mins. Thef.

Stayed in sch and stoned arnd and played float bridge with a buncha cool ppl! =P Yeah met a fren of clare's who said something... shall not badmouth but it just made me very happy in a sadistic way... yeah F**K YOU!!! MWAHAHAH!!! I'M NOT THE ONLY VICTIM!!!

The guy who owned the cards had a cool name. Baldwin or sth.

Two totally random comments:

Eggy is quite chio.

Nina's not that good-looking.

And one more:

I know neither of them.

Monkeys are funky! =D

broke Thursday, April 21, 2005 at 10:32 p.m.
---
Listening To:

...

I hate this. oh fuck YOU. i'm a Dependant. It's all your FUCKING FAULT.
I HATE THIS.

broke Monday, April 18, 2005 at 12:56 a.m.
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Listening To:

:photog outing!:

Well not quite... cos so few ppl went =P

Today I woke up damn early and arrived at Orchard MRT at 7.45. Didn't see anyone there and tot I was in e wrong place! =P Then the rest arrived. Sizun said "I bet the girls are late because they arrived early but went to walk around." Just then Angelique came and said, "Actually I was already here 15 minutes early (strange I didn't spot her) but went to walk around Wisma Atria." LOL!!!

Then xt came and we all left cos nezzie and janaki would we meeting us there. Along the way we met chinghui. When we got there, I told Angelique the 15-minute joke. At the end of it, she paused for roughly 5 seconds before bursting into laughter. lolll. Then we met nezzie and I told her the joke oso. Wahlao lamed her feet off man.

Wat really interesting was was happened after e outing. Janaki went off and then nezzie (aww... teddy dun cry! =P) Ok we went off to the Epson "Flowers" exhibition, during which we did a variety of boliao things and Sean's friend (I forgot your name again! Sorrie...) wanted us to go LAN. Angelique, xt, Jon Teo, Sean's friend and myself went to look for a LAN shop. The first one we came across was .80 and hour and the second one, .00 an hour. ZZZ daylight robbery. So we gave up. Jon Teo went to get his uniform (his size just arrived). I followed xt and angelique to "buy star wars t-shirts" but in the end, at angelique's suggestion we stalked jon to bibi and baba. We went to hide in the changing rooms and when jon took the uniform and went to change, we burst out! LOL! Damn jacked. Okies so after that we went to get the Star Wars T-shirts (more like accompany xt to do so). She sure took a mighty long time to decide. After that we walked out and got accosted by a street magician. HE'S DAMN PRO OK. He told me to pick a card. I picked out a card and showed it to everyone except him. He shuffled the deck and gave me all except five cards. Then he showed the five cards, face up, to us and said, "My hand is very far from his deck, correct?" The rest said yes. He then asked, "Is your card in here?" They again said yes. He then turned the five cards over, and turned them over, but now only four remained! "Is your card still there?" They replied no. "Can you check through your deck?" I looked through and found the card I had chosen staring me in the face... X.X

broke Saturday, April 16, 2005 at 11:37 p.m.
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Listening To:

wow. wierd.

1) I'm running for Bridge Club chair, NOMINATE ME PLEASE!!! Thank you so much! =D

2) I totally forgot tmrw had photog outing until xt told me on msn! Ooops frantically charging my camera now =P

3) Read Angelique's blog and I'm getting a distinct sense of deja vu now. Some of the entries bear similarities to alot of my friends' blogs, mine included.

4) xt! can't you get your JKJA to work? I still want to pwnz012z u at JA duel! =P

5) SRP seems to be right on track. I've gotten a mentor and the prospects are bright.

6) I finished the 2/1 = GF book yesterday! w00t. Took me a week, and that was reading >3 hours a day. Now that I've finished it, I find that no one else has done so, hence I can't put my Wolff Signoffs, Overjumpshifts and EKCB to use! Lol.

7) The Modern Losing Trick Count is really damn accurate!

8) I'm blabbering...

9) Just did chem mock SPA today. I'M SO DEAD LA. Did the graph and then heard "time's up". AND I DREW A ****ing CURVE. IT'S A FREAKIN DOUBLE TITRATON FOR GODS' SAKE ERIC, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!

10) Yups, Photog outing tmrw! Gg to play abit of JKJA now before sleeping. Guess that's all =P

broke Saturday, April 16, 2005 at 12:00 a.m.
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Listening To:

.:n00bs???:.

Just kibitzed Hungarian National Pairs SuperFinal. WAHLAO SZABO DECLARED DAMN N00BISHLY. Like the commentators were remarking SYL is the more gosu at declaring.

PASS 1C 1D 1S
PASS 2C PASS 4S
PASS PASS DBLE ALL PASS (Yeah wierd bidding sequence... very wierd...)

Contract was 4SX. Declarer had Axx heart's to dummy's singleton, AT to dummy's xxxx clubs and xx diamonds to dummy's xxxxx diamonds. Trumps were solid to the Queen with trumps split 5-4 in declarer/dummy and breaking 3-1 in opps and only partial blockage in dummy. THAT'S ONLY THREE LOSERS. When West lead a club against the contract, which declarer took with the ace, he should have played his ace of hearts, ruff a heart in dummy, return to declarer with trumps, ruff the last heart in dummy, draw one round of trump with the ace, and play out a losing club. The club would have been taken by East, who would have promptly led the King followed by the Queen of Clubs, the latter of which would be ruffed in hand. Declarer then draws trump twice drawing out all outstanding trumps including the Jack. He then claims only three more losers - the ones mentioned at the start. Contract making - Both Vulnerable - that would have been +740. Instead, after taking the ace in hand, South played out a diamonds loser, which West took. West then lead another diamond, which East took. East now led a diamond, and South had K Q 10 9 8 x of trumps. Missing the Jack, and knowing that West was likely to be out in diamonds as well, if South were to now trump with the King, gambling that West held the Jack, declarer would be unable to flush out the Jack as he could only draw trump twice. If, South were to, as in this case he did, trump with the 9, the Jack would overruff, and together with the other 3 losers, down the contract by 1. -200.

Quote the commentators:
HedyG: Do they know 500 people are watching them?
vugraph190: yes
galim: Maybe this was the reason Szabo went down, if only 200 watching, he made
LOL.

(Actually, what right do I have to kaobei on this blog. I'm a horrible declarer myself. =P Yeah I admit it. Bidding's my forte. NOT declaring.)

broke Monday, April 11, 2005 at 12:45 a.m.
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Listening To:

.:2nd frag for JA!:.

w00t! XT I finally got JA to work! That's why I couldn't respond to you on msn... was too busy playing. Haha got second frag on a server where top frag is 11 and I got 4! Hmm I've deteriorated like nuts... I need to improve on charging attacks with the saber staff.

Zz damn tired gg to sleep now...

broke Sunday, April 10, 2005 at 2:25 a.m.
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Listening To:

.:.

Went to school today and was surprisingly awake during most of the lessons. Practised bridge with Bjorn before Bridge started. Today, our coach taught us the Modern Losing Trick Count, something I hadn't heard of, surprisingly enough. Hope I can remember it well enough; bidding is supposed to be my forte.

Went for photog where they basically discussed some stuff. Angelique folded my right sleeve up like the way girls do and I forgot to roll it back down. Photog ended early so I left with Squish and Clare. WE WALKED ALL THE WAY TO J8 BEFORE I REALIZED MY RIGHT SLEEVE WAS FOLDED UP. Lol. Along the way, totally lamed them to death with lame jokes shamelessly koped from Lame Congren! (my acknowledgements... lol)

The ROTS shirt looks gay. Vader looks damn fake. Too thin by far.

Took MRT back home with Clare, (unsuccessfully) tried to amputate her remaining foot.

Got home and read up on Inverted Trump Swiss, Under and Over-jump shifts, and Mathe Asking Bids.

All in all, an average Friday, which rockss =DD

broke Friday, April 8, 2005 at 11:18 p.m.
---
Listening To:

:musings:

from acknowledgement comes delight,
then confusion,
then sorrow.

personal thoughts on euthanasia: I think it should be allowed, but it MUST have been explicitly stated in the will of the concerned party. The recent Schiavo shiat (hehe) is soo f*cked up all b/c Mrs Schiavo didn't ever state in black and white her wishes if she were to enter a vegetative state. Maybe the PAP should consider making such a statement in a living will compulsory. Lol.

broke Wednesday, April 6, 2005 at 09:58 p.m.
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Listening To:

:ambiguity:

I stepped and looked
Over the shelves, and books,
and Serendipity greeted me
in all Her finery.
The vision was flawless, like the
flower of purity,
alas! i was but half-blind,
It had been but an illusion, from behind.

Nope, you are not supposed to know what the hell I'm blogging about...

broke Tuesday, April 5, 2005 at 10:21 p.m.
---
Listening To:

new shoes!

w00t~

broke Sunday, April 3, 2005 at 08:34 p.m.
---
Listening To:

im just not good enough.

You tell me what the fuck do I do. Just tell me la. I've got almost no-one to turn to. I ramble on incessantly to aquaintances who haven't got the faintest frig of what I'm talking about but nod and give the occasional confused half-smile. But they don't know me enough to hate me.

Other people have people to turn to ok. Zikai can confide in ppl. George can. Heck, Ben Tay does it to the world. Hey, then what the fuck about me, then? Who the fuck do I turn to? Few enough people give a fuck about me, and most of the time they can't spare the time for a long discussion about my problems. I'm not like all of you, I can't stay in school until 7pm to discuss problems. I need to be home and mugging.

What now? I just dun tok to anyone izzit? I got these fucked up behavioral problems but somehow, some fuckers blow them up to make me out like some fucking CB piece of SoB shit, and all of you see what you all choose to see, and use it as evidence.

The wave of my social inability carrying the weight of rumours about me, which began since sec 4, and are still in full effect.

Or is it the other way round?

Most of you little fuckers probably don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Which suits me fine. I don't give a fuck whether you know or not. If you don't like reading this? Fuck off. FUCK OFF. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK. JUST DON'T VISIT MY BLOG THEN.

Fucking eyes of bitches and bastards on me, people saying 'hi' in an odd manner, conversations ended and thoughts hidden on my arrival.

All the hypocrites swirling around like some infestation.

Incredibly fucked up.

I am more alone than almost anyone in the school. NO ONE CAN DENY THAT. IF YOU CAN, SAY IT NOW. SAY IT. SAY IT!!! WHO THE FUCK DO I HAVE??? ONE OR TWO PEOPLE AND THAT'S IT???

I've always felt like I was living out the words of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams".

It seems to me that society is intolerable and I am underserving of tolerance anyway.

Sure, I can change. For me, there are two extremes: my current state, and simply dao.

If anyone out there thinks that being dao is the best way for me to survive,

say it.

I will dao everyone. I have done it many times before, and can always do it again.

And meanwhile, my paranoia crests the wave of a tide.

broke Friday, April 1, 2005 at 10:36 p.m.
---
Listening To:

:fuck:

i converse normally with aquaintances because they don't know me enough to hate me.

broke Friday, April 1, 2005 at 10:16 p.m.
---
Listening To:

just one shoe...

all i need to do is drop one shoe at the mrt tracks in bishan... fuck this life...

broke Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 09:58 p.m.
---
Listening To:

OK FUCK THIS

I HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE AND I HATE MY FUCKING SELF

broke Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 09:57 p.m.
---
Listening To:

:dawning:

ive been too busy these days.

no time off... no quality time spent anytime...

ive become less than the lesser being i already am.

i should take some time off, and reflect. but i won't be doing it alone.

Everything's broken, I'm closer now to aquaintances(sp?) than my friends. I need to fix that.

I don't have the problems others have, mine are worse, and worse of all, mine are self-inflicted to a greater degree than others'. All roughly the same, though.

My priorities have all been screwed.

I need some reordering damnit.


broke Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 09:09 p.m.
---
Listening To:

wulao.

so many ppl changing out... e girls come in one day change out e next... haoyi was so sad tt sarah had moved out... i wonder why oO

if george moves out... i will too... sorry vanessa...

Thoughts:
1. Hope XT is successful in her re-appeal-cum-petition. From what my seniors tell me its possible, but u gotta promise a certain level of standard in ur promos results.
2. Just received back my two SRP replies. One from Chem and one from DSTA. Yayy. Now ive gotta attend a meet for both. I'm gunning for the DSTA spot (will certainly help in my employment there one day) but if i fail, i'm fine with Chem.
3. Quote Shaman: "Everyone should switch to Precision Club!" Duff!
4. Lunch at Pastamania today. WARGH MY POCKETS ARE GONNA BURST OK. SO DAMN EX. Quote laoshen: "Pastamania is not known for bargain prices."
5. I'm damn bored. Anyone who wants to play Jedi Academy with me, IM me plzzz... it's about the only FPS i'm good at =P

Guess that's about all... hehs today's SRP talk rocked... like e previous week's. We really get good lecturers. Mr Marcelo Jr u rox! =)

broke Wednesday, March 30, 2005 at 08:09 p.m.
---
Listening To:

:easter conress RESULTS:

Total teams playing: 14 - 1

8NT - 8th
LLL - 12th
Chicky Club - 13th
DOTA - DISQUALIFIED!!!

King rite... DOTA left before e competition ended and didn't even know it... gg no re. Speaking of which, w00t WE GOT SECOND LAST!!! How we beat Chicky Club we won't even know. Sizun and Gen were screwing their bids all over the place, Zikai and Koo were destroying us with their uber-unpro defense and Bjorn and I were playing ok but saw our hard work being torn to shreds by them. THIS PROVES WE PWN!!! Lol. (j/k la. we suck.)

broke Sunday, March 27, 2005 at 10:09 p.m.
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Listening To:

:thoughts on rkcb:

rkcb (or any version of blackwood for that matter) can often lead to overbidding. Take this example.

N E S W

1S PASS 2C PASS
4C PASS 4NT* PASS
5D PASS 6C ALL PASS

* - RKCB 1430

South had three Key Cards and used RKCB 1430 to ask partner how many partner had. Partner showed 0 Key Cards with his response of 5D. Partner was forced to bid 6C and eventually went down one.

THE BRONZE RULE OF BLACKWOOD - BLACKWOOD SHOULD NOT BE USED ON HANDS WHICH CANNOT TOLERATE A STOP BELOW SLAM SHOULD RESPONSE PROVE UNFAVOURABLE

who here disagrees?

broke Friday, March 25, 2005 at 09:52 p.m.
---
Listening To:

:bored:

01. name: Eric Toh
02. hobbies: com gaming, contract bridge, laming arnd
03. gender: Male
04. age: 16+
05. date of birth: 17/10/88
06. horoscope: Libra
07. school: RJC
08. address: woodlands
09. email add: word_void@hotmail.com
10. eye colour: black
11. hair: got
12. hair colour: black
13. right or left handed: right
14. marital status: single
15. siblings: 1
16. last 4 digits of ur no.: 3374
17. when's ur bedtime: 2 am
18. do u have a car: no
19. what type of car do you want: lamborghini.
----------------------
*have u*
21. tried smoking: no
22. drink alc0h0l: yup
23. been hurt emotionally: all the time
24. Keep a secret from anyone?: all the time
25. been on stage?: long ago
----------------------
*favourites*
26. colour: cyan/black
27. food: spicy
28. drinks: milo
29. number(s): 69 =PP
30. disney: its not what it used to be
31. sports: comp sports? -.-;;
32. song : J-pop
33. movie: Spider-man 2
34. subject: physics
35. friend: george
----------------------
*right now*
36. wearing now: grey high-neck top, boxers
37. hairstyle: 'papaya bird'
38. looking at: monitor screen
39. thinking of: my troubles
40. listening to: nothing
----------------------
*do u believe in*
41. love?: yup
42. faith: yup
43. urself: my suckiness, yeah.
44. ghosts: not really
45. angels : not really
----------
*in the last 24hrs*
46. worn jeans: i seldom wear them
47. cleaned ur rooms: are my eyes blurry?
48. cried: no
49. met someone new: lots
50. last person i talk to on the phone: charmaine
----------------------
*love life*
51. do u have a gf/bf now: if only =P
52. have a secret admirer: yeahhhh, im sure, im sure
53. do u wanna get married?: yup
54. do u plan on having kids?: yep
55. how old u wanna be when u get married?: before my libido dies down =P
56. how old u wanna be when u haf ur first child: can have child easily can already, don't wait until copulous amounts of viagra are needed.
57. how many kids do u want: two.
58. would u have kids before marriage: what do you take me for?
59. do u haf a crush: what do you think?
----------------------
*either one*
60. pink or black: black
61. kiss or hug: HUG!!!
62. summer or winter: summer
63. sunny or rainy: sunny
64. chocolate or vanilla: vanilla (with chips!!! =P)
65. hanging out or chilling: hanging out
66. music or tv: music
67. night or day: day
68. guys or girls: girls =P
69. slpin or eatin: both
70. love or lust: love
71. silver or gold: silver
72. sunset or sunrise: sunrise
73. phone or in person: person
74. diamond or pearl: diamonds
-------------
*The person u know who is...*
75. the most u Love: ...
76. most understanding : nezzie
77. cheerful: everyone's sad these days.

broke Thursday, March 24, 2005 at 10:11 p.m.
---
Listening To:

Fear The Wrath Of God.

played at SCBA today... wahlao got third last out of 10. NOT BAD. WE GOT 43 MPS. Just that Bjorn missed a cold slam and failed to double a 4S contract which was definitely going down... else we would've gotten 6th, below Mao/Xueli. They played damn well today.

Who wants to play minesweeper flags wif mee...

*the above title is a random quote from Tekken 5, a l33t game j00 a11 shou1d buy*

broke Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 11:01 p.m.
---
Listening To:

bridge?

ouchie... got second last place... the pair in our team could have gotten first if not for us... first plus last equals second last. minus ten dollars for them. OUCH.

I feel damn sad... liddat how to even get anything from Easter Congress... Bjorn's bidding suxx... my play suxx...

screw this...

broke Sunday, March 20, 2005 at 09:36 p.m.
---
Listening To:

.:comp repaired:.

WHEE. COMP REPAIRED.

Wahlao. Photog camp was fun. And SLACK.

broke Saturday, March 19, 2005 at 09:33 p.m.
---
Listening To:

.:f***:.

I can be so insensitive. F*** lar. Im feeling damn lousy now.

Don't ask.

broke Wednesday, March 2, 2005 at 11:31 p.m.
---
Listening To:

.:O levels:.

English A1
Literature In English A1
Combined Humanities A2
Mathematics A1
Additional Mathematics A1
Physics A1
Chemistry A1
Biology A1
Higher Chinese A2

w00t. guess what. I got b3 in chinese. TPH was like "zhuoweilong, ni kan? wo gao shu ni le, ni yao shi ke yi de." walao. im damn happy now =D

Damnit. Inez and Bingshao got 11 a1s. And Wendy oso. Congrats to them, and im damn jealoussssss. Why so many geniuses????

Wuteva la. I got 300 bucks from my uncle for that unexpected string of A's =D but im oso feeling abit depressed now larr. i dunnoe why. im always feeling abit depressed these days. so i go crazy larr.

hate me. i dun care anymore larr. im such a nice guy rite? nice as in your definition...

broke Tuesday, March 1, 2005 at 11:49 p.m.
---
Listening To:

.:Greased Lightning. Right:.

some ppl come to me telling me to be natural and just be myself... others come and tell me the way i act sometimes just sux... so wat m i supposed to do...

"When you have nothing nice to say about someone, call them 'nice'."

yeah nice one whichever it was who said that... that makes me a nice guy, right? i probably deserve it tho.

DW says its because of the rumours surrounding the circumstances of my entering 3n that prompted whoever that person was to say that... I hope that's true. If it's not... well what can I say.

and anyone willing to give me a chance to show my good side (i have one, in case you're wondering. it's not much, but it's at least there.), thank you, and i hope we'll get along great.

i might appear freaky, wierd, crazy at times, but i'm not evil, vindictive or hypocritical... Whatever rubbish you hear coming from some rumourmongers, its partially untrue (can't say its totally untrue because i am slightly unpleasant).

Please hear me out. Try to forgive me for whatever faults I may have. They are many, and I won't deny that. See through the bundled mass of crappiness, craziness and inensitivity that shields me. I'm more than just those three adjectives.

I really want my new class to work out. You guys need to give me a chance. Ignore the rumours you hear about me. Try to take my verbal diarrhoea in your stride. I know I'm asking a lot, but it's all I'm asking for.

Thanks for taking your time to read through this passage.

broke Sunday, February 27, 2005 at 12:09 a.m.
---
Listening To:

.:sorry:.

I seem to have offended some ppl by virtue of my verbal diarrhoea >.<

so im just gonna apologize

and hope you all give me a chance

thanks...

broke Saturday, February 26, 2005 at 11:07 p.m.
---
Listening To:

++ You All Assume ++





++ I'm Safe Here In My Room ++


"Nique Ta Mère."


++ Unless I Try To Start Again ++



people like to read about a f**ker's life!!

++ Memories Consume ++

Feeling: confused
Wanting: ...
Wearing: lilo&stitch + alice band
Conversing: no-one
Obsessed: maplestory
Wishing: well...
Thinking: about how nothing seems worth it anymore.

++ Like Opening A Wound ++

loseristic, garrulous, loud, but ultimately a loner. talks alot of cock, but never manages to fit in. extroverted in appearance, but introverted by nature. i've been like that since the start of the year, i think. except the loseristic bit. that one's been a part of me since forever. sorry.

++ I'm Picking Me Apart Again ++

gen
betawesh
jeffrey
ching hui
rich
hai song
si rui
eddison
betapuch
teck heng
xolp
alan
nash
sam jo
ge0rge
zhu nian
shenz
louis
herrick
tracy
cong ren
dwayne
clare
angelique
squishy
xt's LJ
janaki