"It is a luxury to be understood."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Loosing faith
Monday, June 30, 2003
09:51 p.m.
I wanted to believe Saddam's possesion of WMD constituted justification for going after him unilaterally and without waiting for further U.N. inspections. With every day that goes by that these things do not show up, I'm more and more convinced we were lied to!

Banalemail
Monday, June 9, 2003
12:46 a.m.
The Editor of our local paper (Gary Borders, Nacogdoches Daily Sentinel) recently gave us a list of words that don’t exist but should. Some were made up, others were suggested. My favorite was:

-- Banalemail: This describes those sappy forwarded e-mails sent to you by well-meaning friends and acquaintances, such as “true” stories of terminally ill children who want to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having received the most greeting cards (This canard has been circulating for more than a decade.)

Included in this category are the dozens of chain e-mails, or warnings of horrible computer viruses that turn out to be false alarms as well as any manner of drivel that people with too much time on their hands feel compelled to send along to everyone they know. You know who you are.

To see the rest, click the title of this post.

It seems I generally manage to offend if I give any kind of honest response to these, so mostly now I just chuck 'em and move on. I think I'll start filing them in a folder called Banalemail!

I spell broadband, d-s-l!
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
03:07 p.m.
My DSL line from Southwestern Bell (SBC) was activated today. The availability of DSL was a pleasant surprise when I moved my telephone service to the new house. I assumed I'd be able to get broadband via cable but was glad to have the DSL alternative, too. "Broadband Reports" had very little, to no info on either service in my area and most everyone I know has cable so, if for nothing else than the ability to make comparisons, I decided to try DSL.

I opted for the "self install kit". Saved a hundred bucks and I've been installing hw/sw in computers for 18 yrs. - it almost always works...eventually! Besides, istallation has, in most instances, been greatly simplified in recent years.

Our school band was scheduled to play for a dance this evening, I knew I wouldn't get back to do this installation until late, so I took the morning off to pursue the installation in relative leisure. The documentation said installation should take about an hour - mine, actually took all of two. There were no real snags just a couple of hangups on re-starts. I also seldom accepted the defaults during installation/registration, which increased the set-up time.

SBC has partnered with Yahoo in its broadband offering. Yahoo installs its own browser that is 'aquified' so that it looks very 'OS-X/XP', but it is little trouble to use your choice of browsers with the service. I like the Yahoo service - lots of customizable content (local movie times and TV listings as well as music & video release info. and many news headline/link options) - althought the 'free' premium services are not of much use to me.

DSL does not seem all that fast right now. Maybe it is not compared to the only other broadband I have experience with - T-1 via ethernet at work. However, I am instructed to leave the modem on for 10 full days following installation to allow SBC to optimize the connection so, maybe it will get faster. It is noticably faster than dial-up and I will be trying the "speed tests" after the 10 days to get some numbers.

May 30th test results:
advertized: 384 down/128up
tested: 316 down/127 up

Job Tweak
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
10:06 p.m.

My tweaks were not that drastic but I have had to make a few adjustments...

It seems the budget cutters are swinging their axes my way. It was noticed recently that our school is the only one in the state with an Audio/Visual technician performing staff training functions at the department head level. Rather than ask why the others don't have one, the 'powers that be' wanted to know, "if no one else needs one, why do you?"

Well, our administration wants to keep me around but are not able/willing to justify my classification. So, I was asked to rewrite my job description as an Administrative Technician performing A/V work in support of client recreation/leisure activities while dabbling a bit in staff training work. I spent the biggest part of a day last week on the rewrite. I'm now waiting to see if this dodge enables me to elude the ax swinging.

Harrison L. Hurst 1945 - 2003
Saturday, May 3, 2003
03:30 p.m.
As I'm writing this an old friend* is being laid to rest.

* Is it fair to call a person your friend if you've been out of touch with them for nearly 25 years?
According to those who eulogized him and it should have been no surprise, "Harry" had been up to a lot in the past 25 years. So, I looked to see if he had left any traces on the Internet.

The first thing I found was a picture (bottom of 3) of him at radio station KNOW in Austin taken a year or so before I met Harrison - dig them fancy duds!

The only other trace I could find was a newspaper 'clipping' (Ballots destroyed...). I can't be absolutely certain this is the same Harrison Hurst but seeing as how it concerns his hometown of Crockett and it involves his looking into possible political mis-doings, I think it's a fair bet to assume it's 'our' "Harry"!

Godspeed, old friend!

Click & Clack saved my life
Friday, April 11, 2003
09:30 a.m.
I spent most of last Saturday at the Area 7, Texas Special Olympics Track & Field events so I missed my usual dose of "Car Talk" that morning. With the time change and so much time spent lugging heavy video equipment around the stadium Saturday, I'd pretty much written off the following day as a day of rest. Still, I got a second wind earlier than expected and was just about to go grocery shopping when I realized it was time for the Sunday afternoon re-run. I decided to stay home and listen to the show and go shopping later. After the show I drove to the store. I was gone only about an hour but drove back through areas of heavy rain and even a little hail. As I pulled into the driveway I noticed the top of a large pine tree had crashed into my house!

I couldn't even get in till I cut a couple of limbs and removed what was left of a door and wall. Turned out the house was a complete loss and I'm in the midst of moving. But if I'd gone shopping instead of stopping to hear "Car Talk", I'd have been home when the storm & tree hit!

What it MAY be good for?
Monday, March 31, 2003
11:22 p.m.

I'm struggling, perhaps in vain, to remain rational about this war, Looking for facts and not wishing to fall prey to rumors, speculations and assumptions. Emotions run high as opinions are flung about with abandon. But, of course facts are in short supply, so really all I am left with is faith & trust.

It seems there is a lot of calculated risk involved in all of this. I hope and pray there was sufficient calculation...

If this war turns out as I think it will, eliminating stockpiles of WMD and labs that continue to produce them, it will still not address the root causes of anti-Western terrorism. In fact it could well serve to fan those flames much higher.

If this turns out to be a mere 'oil grab', as some speculate, it will not only be a stupid repeat of 'ancient' history it will reveal America as criminal imperialists worthy of not just Arab scorn but that of the entire world.

At the same time some say we are trying to force the capitalistic/christian/western lifestyle on the whole world. This, too is imperialism and worthy of scorn. I hope a more reasonable/culturally sensitive path will be followed, that we can create an environment where democracy can fluorish and leave the people to make their own determination.

I've got to say, it had better turn out that what we have been led to believe is true. Otherwise, this administration has risked losing my faith and what small measure of trust I give it. They will have miscalculated and another regime change, (this time in DC) that will discourage this kind of crap in the future will be called for.

Peace prayer
Saturday, March 22, 2003
11:12 a.m.

Here is a peace prayer by the Benedictine writer, Joan Chittister, OSB.

Great God, who has told us
"Vengeance is mine,"
save us from ourselves,
save us from the vengeance in our hearts
and the acid in our souls.

Save us from our desire to hurt as we have been hurt,
to punish as we have been punished,
to terrorize as we have been terrorized.

Give us the strength it takes
to listen rather than to judge,
to trust rather than to fear,
to try again and again
to make peace even when peace eludes us.

We ask, O God, for the grace
to be our best selves.
We ask for the vision
to be builders of the human community
rather than its destroyers.
We ask for the humility as a people
to understand the fears and hopes of other peoples.
We ask for the love it takes
to bequeath to the children of the world to come
more than the failrues of our own making.
We ask for the heart it takes
to care for all the peoples
of Afghanistan and Iraq, of Palestine and Israel
as well as for ourselves.

Give us the depth of soul, O God,
to constrain our might
to resist the temptations of power,
to refuse to attack the attackable,
to understand
that vengeance begets violence,
and to bring peace - not war - wherever we go.

For You, O God, have been merciful to us.
For You, O God, have been patient with us.
For You, O God, have been gracious to us.

And so may we be merciful
and patient
and gracious
and trusting
with these others whom you also love.

This we ask through Jesus,
the one without vengeance in his heart.
This we ask forever and ever. Amen.

Terror's Tears
Monday, March 10, 2003
09:28 p.m.

Since this all began my head has been full of doubt while I hoped in my heart for a peaceful resolution. I started off early participating in both "Move On" and "Act For Change" campaigns for peace. I added my three chief concerns to an "ActForChange" form letter for the President last August:

1. this had the appearance of a family vendetta

2. it looked like he was planning to go it alone

3. this could cause unknown flare-ups that could lead to less security for the U.S.

To briefly summarize my changes in thinking since that time I should say: I no longer think this is just a vendetta, I am satisfied with the concessions which have been made to the U.N. and God help us all if this is wrong and my third concern comes true.

As to #1:
I may have been selling Bush (and his administration) short! His poor communication skills make it easy to think of him as a dumb-ass with no better sense than to involve this country in his vendetta. Seeing his tenacity in the face of massive opposition and listening to the thoughts of other more articulate people with access to 'inside' information makes me think his motivations are sound. He seems, very much like me, to be profoundly troubled by his/the government's failure to live up to the basic tenets of our Constitution.

Right up front, the preamble sets the obligations of our government: "to provide for the common defense and secure the blessings of liberty", among others. This administration completely and utterly failed to uphold these responsibilities on 9/11/01!

I have come to believe it is now their intention not to fail in these obligations again. They sincerely believe (based on vast information resources not available to me) that the current regime in Iraq, its stockpile of weapons and its propensity to continue making them in this current climate of terror, threatens the United States (not to mention many others). They are therefore obligated by the constitution to do what they can to blunt this threat.

Of course there is more that can & will (I hope) be done to effect the climate of terror but they have chosen to first focus on eliminating the weapons. Colin Powell's recent 'coming on-board' was the clincher on this matter for me. This administration is still not doing well with "establish justice and promote the general welfare". These and improving the environment that breeds terroristic intent are areas I would like to see us put our energies toward, too.

As to #2:
This administration has done everything I could have asked through the U.N. to NOT pursue this matter unilaterally. Still, as stated above, I am afraid it does need doing, with or without ALL the other members of the U.N. I take pride in our courage to lead and our willingness to consult.

The U.N. has imposed sanctions and fielded inspectors for a dozen years. Saddam has allowed the sanctions to impoverish and kill the people of Iraq and has destroyed very few weapons. I suppose it could be argued that he has been pretty well contained for those dozen years and that sanctions and inspectors could continue this indefinitely, but at what cost to the Iraqi people and the security of America and his neighbors? We have tried and tried again the U.N.'s way and the result is just more of the same, things are not getting any better. I'm afraid the time is approaching to go in another direction.

As to #3:
This is still a major concern. Much of what I've seen leads me to believe these contemplated hostilities could make us less secure. When I sent my letter in August, I cited the escalation of hostilities in (and around) Israel as evidence that military action against Arab nations incites terrorism. Now we see that North Korea is ramping up their threat as well. While we have this tangible evidence that hostility breeds hostility, I don't think anyone can say with any certainty which will be worse, continuing our present course of action or pursuing a military option. War is such a horrendous thing to contemplate but so are some of the alternatives.

I'm torn!

Having said all of the above, I must say that's just the product of my intellect, my heart feels differently. My heart breaks at the thought of sending our children to war. I saw a picture of one of my son's High School friends, a naval officer in his dress whites standing between his Mother and Dad and I felt, "this is why we must not allow this country to be drawn into war". I thought about my friend, visiting his Son at a training base in Florida before he 'ships out' and I prayed he is not seeing him for the last time. I saw a picture of a anonymous young man in uniform kissing his infant son. I read the description written by a parent/grandparent under the heading, "Trying to say goodbye" and I wept...

..and the words of two presidents resound:

"We no longer live in a world where only the actual firing of weapons represents a sufficient challenge to a nation's security to constitute maximum peril."

John F. Kennedy, Naval Officer/President (Democrat) 10/22/62

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."

Dwight D. Eisenhower, General/President (Republican) 4/16/53

Writing for the web
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
10:16 p.m.

My TV friend, Leo Laporte recommends the following primers on writing for the web:

Writing the Living Web (my first sentence honors #4)

The following quotes are from Write a Better Web Log

The professional reads the amateur, gives up after the word "nowadays," and decides that he/she has been video-gamed to idiocy.

Hemingway said, "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in shock-proof shit-detector."

Free to practice the Liberty of Dissent?
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
03:51 p.m.

The Background:

Toni Smith made a decision, which in this country is an inalienable right.

She turned her back on the American flag during the national anthem, a practice the senior forward has repeated before each of Division III Manhattanville College's basketball games this season.

No hand over her heart. No bowed head. Instead, she turns away as a protest to a possible war with Iraq, to what she considers this country's pursuit of more global power masked under the veil of promoting domestic safety.

"For some time now, the inequalities that are embedded into the American system have bothered me," Smith said in a statement this week. "As they are becoming progressively worse and it is clear that the government's priorities are not on bettering the quality of life for all of its people, but rather on expanding its own power, I cannot, in good conscience, salute the flag."

The Reaction:

Manhattanville traveled to the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy, and newspaper accounts of the game say that at least 300 midshipmen turned out to wave flags at her, chanting "USA" and "Leave the Country."

A Vietnam veteran walked onto the court Sunday in Purchase, N.Y., and waved the flag in the face of the Manhattanville College senior basketball player. Jerry Kiley, 56, was escorted from the gym, stopping to tell The Associated Press that Smith is both a disgrace to herself and her country.

Today on CNN's "Talkback LIVE" there was a short segment on this protest. All those who spoke against Ms. Smith pointed out that the flag stands for freedom and/or liberty.

My Questions:

Are freedom and liberty mere words and the flag merely a symbol or should we exhibit the ideals of the founders by granting freedom and liberty to everyone - even those we don't agree with?

What is the greater threat, the Merchant Marines who would deny the protester the liberty to stay in this country, the Veteran who abrogates her freedom to not face the flag or the protester, peacefully expressing her dissent?

The Media descends on Nacogdoches!
Saturday, February 1, 2003
10:21 p.m.

I took a trip into town just before sundown tonight. I noticed a 'police line' tape in a cemetery on the left side of the highway just before I got to the airport. Closer to the airport I noticed several vehicles lining the side of the road, two were satellite trucks. There was a lot more 'police line' tape in the area and two DPS cars blocking the entrance to the airport. Further down Fredonia, I saw two uniformed National Guard people 'guarding' another area outlined in yellow tape.

I turned onto South Street and immediately noticed heavy traffic. I'm guessing there were a lot of "looky lous" passing through town this evening. There were Guardsmen and tape at Virginia and Smith where I had seen them earlier on CNN. There were more Guardsmen on the SE side of the County Court house. The court house lawn looked like a movie set with lights, tripods, scrims, cameras and equipment cases scattered everywhere. There was another satellite truck parked on the west side of the court house.

I was headed in to pick up a prescription. I wanted to go to the ATM behind my bank but decided against it as I had heard there was a piece of debris in their parking lot, too. I have since noticed that is where CNN is 'camped out' tonight. The pharmacist told me they had a reporter from TIME who had flown in and was now camped out at the photo lab looking at folks pictures. He was also able to fill me in on what was going on at the airport. At least 1 spherical 'tank' 3-4 ft. in diameter had fallen in that area - the Pharmacist had pictures! He also told me the National Guard Armory, located next to the airport, would be used to house pieces of debris as they are collected from around here.

Emergency management is now arriving. Just as I pulled in to my place two vehicles passed with lights flashing and sirens wailing. I could only see them in silhouette but the first appeared to have a cylindrical tank on the back. In fact, I thought it looked like a propane truck! It was followed by a large SUV type vehicle pulling a large trailer.

The sound woke me up!
Saturday, February 1, 2003
08:37 a.m.

I awoke to the strangest sound this morning. I had been up late last night so I intended to sleep in this morning. I had wakened several times during the early morning, looked at the clock and said to myself, "I'll sleep a bit longer." I looked at the clock at 7:59 am and decided to sleep till 8:30.

I had just drifted back to sleep when I heard a rumbling. The internal dialogue went something like this... "A truck? (I live on a highway) too loud for a truck...it's thunder, but it wasn't supposed to rain this morning. It's getting louder/closer, better go turn off the computers. It's louder and more sustained than any thunder I've ever heard. Is it a squadron of jets?" The sound was as loud as a bunch of jets coming in at low altitude and had the profile, steadily rising to a crescendo then tapering off, but it was not the steady sound of jet engines. I briefly wondered if it could have been those 'pulsed jets' they talk about in and around Area 51.

I finally HAD to get up and go outside, by this time there was nothing to see. I hung out outside for a few minutes doing some morning chores and hoping the jets would come back over so I could see what they were. I finally gave up and headed back inside to scan the TV channels to see if there was any news that might explain what I had heard. TV was then beginning to tell the whole sad story. Slowly it came into focus, the sound was that of thousands of pieces of debris, many still supersonic, passing through the East Texas sky.

Expectations: old and new.
Friday, January 24, 2003
10:37 p.m.

I was intrigued by PBS's "Journey of Man" which aired on Tuesday night.

Here was this guy (Dr. Spencer Wells), a genetic researcher, leaving the lab and traveling the world to prove that all modern humans derived from a small band of people who lived on the African Continent some 40,000 years ago. It took two hours but he did it - providing conclusive evidence that we are all one family regardless of the superficialities of race.

Wednesday, PBS was scheduled to show, "Two Towns of Jasper" about the racially motivated dragging death of James Byrd in Jasper Texas. I thought, "Now we'll see the other side, they're about to reveal that despite what modern science has shown these ignorant East Texas crackers will show us how stupid many of us still are." Well, I was wrong. Jasper and her citizens came off pretty well. They had been through a traumatic experience, had a national spotlight shown on their darkest side and had been changed in the process. Ted Coppel even came to Jasper the following night to take the pulse of the community in the wake of the documentary. There were a few divisive comments aired but try as he might, Ted couldn't turn up any really ugly sentiments.

Sure we've got a way to go, we're far from perfect but we are making progress. If my neighbors can get a clue and in the process manage to change my expectations of them, then there is reason for optimism about our entire family.

Gettin' older (more like the engineer)!
Monday, January 13, 2003
04:54 p.m.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the workshop and get some jobs done."

Jack on Jack
Wednesday, January 8, 2003
01:19 p.m.

From an interview with Jack Nicholson in a recent Entertainment Weekly...

"The thing about getting older is that your character improves whether you want it to or not. Nature forces you to become a better person. And that's a good thing, especially for somebody like me. ..I'm less libidinous. I'm not nonlibidinous, but I'm more weary and less tolerant of the dance. And it's easier for me to be alone now. I had to learn how to be alone. ..I've gotten more comfortable in solitude. I appreciate it as a luxury.

I can tell you exactly when the sexual revolution ended: when Time magazine put herpes on the cover [in 1982]. During my lifetime, I saw everything getting more and more open and free every day after World War II. And then Time put herpes on the cover and it's been getting less and less free ever since."

He is set to begin filming a comedy with Diane Keaton about a man dating a much younger woman who ends up falling for her mom. - Sounds interesting!

(Click the title of this entry above to see the whole article)