Saturday, November 30, 2002
Winamp: Maki Ohtsuki - Memories
I have been thinking about a lot of things recently, and, due to the fact that my text box is so small, this could prove to be a very long entry.

I've been musing to myself about random things. My life has been wierd lately; not necessarily anything in my life with regards to my personal body, but where other people I know are concerned, life has been getting very wierd. I'm not saying that I havent been wierd either. I'm sure I have been acting like a flake a lot, and I wont make excuses. I just got fed up with people.

I think humans by nature are hyper sensitive. Maybe I am being hyper sensitive, or maybe I'm just finally getting a view of how I want to be treated. All I know is that I'm sick of people taking advantage of my passive nature. I'm not trying to sound proud or egotistical or anything, im just stating a fact - I'm a passive individual. But I'm a passive individual that is - or at least feels like - being taken advantage of. For instance, I'm seriously sick to death of people saying how dense / stupid / slow / idiotic / dumb I am. Especially when I'm not. How could I be, and still be getting the great grades I get? Sure, I'm a little slow on the uptake of some jokes; Sure, I fumble my words a lot; Sure, I dont get everything all of the time. Thats human. I'm sick of people pointing it out when I do it when they cant even see it in themselves.

So aside from that pissing me off, I've been thinking about other things. I think I've been comparing everyone I know to my best friend who treats me exactly the way I want to be treated. And I dont know if thats a bad thing. This friend of mine doesnt tell me I'm stupid; she doesnt feel the need to cut me down to build herself up; she doesnt complain to me about her life sucking; she doesnt hurt me; she likes me for me. And I like her for her. We're just fine with each other. Thats what I treasure about her. The only shitty thing is, I dont know anyone else that treats me like that (with the exception of family members). So is it my fault for comparing everyone to her or is it everyone else's fault for not treating me the way I want to be treated?

I suppose its my fault too. I mean, how could someone know if they are crossing the line if I dont give them any warnings? If I just let everyone walk all over me, how are they supposed to know I suddenly dont like it? I guess I feel like everyone should view friendship the same as I do, which is impossible. Everyone doesnt see friendship as a giving thing on both sides; not everyone feels that friendship should be a happy thing; not everyone feels that friendship should be a morale booster - not a self -confidence blow. Which saddens me. I guess I just cant understand why everyone doesnt think the same as me.

I was also thinking about how sick I am of making everyone else feel better. I'm sick of saying they should buck up when I want to shout how stupid theyre being. I'm sick of telling them that that one remark didnt bother me when it did. Why should I have to be so kind? Why cant I be honest to them if they dont bother to be kind to me? Why do I have to put up with it? And why do I feel so bad when I dont?

I dont think theres anything wrong with me - I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I'm not sick. I'm not starving. I'm not fat. I'm not ugly. I'm not untalented. I'm just thinking. It may scare some people - that I think this hard; that this is how I really feel sometimes; that I say all these things they may have never dreamed I would say. Maybe it will shock people. I'm trying to decide whether I should care.

I am happy with my life, for the most part. I have a family that loves me. I have enough money to get by. I have wonderful parents and fun sisters. I go to a great school. I'm getting good grades. I have friends. I understand my part in the family - I help out and try to follow the rules. I try not to complain. So why do I feel out of the loop? EVERYONE and their mother is SO depressed now a days. Either depressed or insanely happy, or complete whiners. I try to stay in the insanely happy group, but unfortunately, that means I am entitled to no other feelings, or so it seems. I'm doomed to remain happy forever; if I show the slightest hint of fatigue or laziness, I'm "In a horrible mood". Life is strange sometimes.

I dont really know what else I have been thinking about - or at least, I dont remember all the rest I had to say. Oh look, theres Kat being stupid again. tee hee. All I know is I need a vacation. Thats what I need. I need a vacation from everyone I know for as long as I want. That way I dont have to look forward to the end of it so I can face everyone all over again; ... Like monday. :sigh:

.... Kat is still here at 07:35 p.m.....

Saturday, November 30, 2002
Winamp: John Rzeznik - Im Still Here
New layout :D Yay beans! isnt it so cool. It would be Jim/Treasure Planet just because I love them both. It was born whilst I was bored waiting to go pick my little sister up. Hoorah. I think I may change the color of the text, yeah? yup yup yup.

I really dont have anything else to say ^^;...ciao

.... Kat is still here at 04:42 p.m.....

Thursday, November 28, 2002
Winamp: John Rzeznik - I'm Still Here
Wheee~ I want some TURKEY. My mom is trying to kill me by cooking it and making everything smell all good~ :melt: turkeyyyy~~~~ I cant wait to eat that bird! Bwahahah! Turkey is like my favorite meat. Definitely.

So I worked out yesterday and saw Treasure Planet. HOOOOOOOha. I luvved it. Jim was so cool :D I loved how he was a juvenile delinquent XD Haw haw haw. It cracked me up. Jim was just too cool. :nod: And morph. And I liked Silver too :D and Jim was so cute when he cried!! T_T

I need a new layout. Speaking of layouts, Misai, I emailed you the stuff fer yer layout :D. Lyn, sorry about what happened, I like yer layout... REINS has done it again! *.* :awed by beauty: too good. Argh. XD

.... Kat is still here at 11:52 a.m.....

Monday, November 25, 2002
Winamp: Savage Garden - Affirmation
SHONEN JUMP CAME!!! IN THE MAIL! I GOT IT! ITS HERE! MANGA manga manga manga manga manga manga~ :drool: I thought I'd hate everything but One Piece, but I read them and I love em XD. Except DBZ. Its too hard for me to like it. But YugiOh even entertained me! And Yu Yu Hakusho ... the little boy he saved was TOOO CUUUTEEEE! I was like "OMG that little boy is the cutest thing I've ever seen!" and SandLand is a riot. XD haw haw. I like Beelzebub. Heh.

I failed a spanish test today ;_; That was wierd. And I have a Math and History test tomorrow! SHOOT ME! Argh ._. I hate math and history tests. puke puke puke. Maybe I'll bring Shonen Jump to school with me tomorrow to keep me company XD YEEHAW!

I really dont have much more to say. Nope. Well, Hasta Luego.

.... Kat is still here at 07:22 p.m.....

Saturday, November 23, 2002
Winamp: John Resnik - I'm Still Here
I updated WIPEOUT:2!!!! Its a miracle! XD. I'm so stupid. It took me another month to get something to update it with... New WitchDoctor chapter is DONE! HURRAH! :bounces: I'm so glad its DONE!

I REALLY wanna see Treasure Planet. XD. Jim is too cute. Ohou. I wanna see him "spaceboarding" or whatever they call it. It looks too cool *-* I cant wait till wednesday! My mommy is gonna let us go see it! HURRAH! Treasure Planet...

Speaking of Treasure Planet, I love this song O_o. "Iiiiii Want a moment to be realll~" I've had it stuck in my head all day! XD YAY!

Oh! I had this saiko dream where I was watching Weiß: Gluhen with my older sister and the theme song was still Velvet Underworld. It started with Ken looking into a crystal ball with this stained-glass window of the rest of the crew behind him, then they were all fighting and Omi jumped up to kick a bomb down into some water, but Farfarello threw a rope and it caught around Omi's leg and dragged him down with the bomb into the water. Then Omi was underwater trying to get his leg away from the bomb before it exploded and Aya and Yoji were trying to jump in to save Omi but SCHULDIG and CRAWFORD showed up, draped all over each other, and, in unison, said "Oh, thats our PERFECT DEATH TRAP!" and they struck poses like Team Rocket or something O_o. And then, still in the dream, my little sister came in and so we rewound it for her so i didnt get to see the rest ;_;.

THEN I had a dream that my sister was doing this 2 mile walk to save One Piece characters or something, so I did it with her. We had to climb fences and duck through them and all this shit, and then we finally came to this school where Marilyn and someone else that went to my old school had their heads cemented to a chair for punishment O_o. We went around back and my WHOLE 8th grade class was playing soccer. They hit me in the head with the ball like 3 times, so i finally got sick of it and kicked it at their heads. Then we played a game of soccer O_o. And my little sis kept serving the ball like in volleyball and we all would shout "Its SOCCER, not VOLLEYBALL, Lizzy!" ....It was WIERD!

Well, I got nothing else to say. ^^ Gonna go watch Lord Of The Rings: the EXTENDED Version. Hurrah~!

.... Kat is still here at 07:44 p.m.....

Friday, November 22, 2002
Winamp: Utena - Rinbu Revolution
New layout, as if you couldnt tell already. XD. Its from Chobits! Yay for Chii. XD I wanted PINK so I got PINK.

Sammy and I are doing the wrongest EvilTwin!Luffy RPG. Haw haw XD. I am so entertained by wrong things. DOOD! I only have to draw the COLLEGE in Witchdoctor to be DONE!! :rejoices: But Im too tired now. I'll finish manana. XD hoo hah!

I ate so much today, Im gonna burst O_< Oy. IM SUCH A BAD PERSON! I always go away on AIM and forget to tell people ;_; I hope they dont think I hate them. .... I wrote a cute Zoro/Luffy story today. It was just about them eating an orange and falling asleep, but it was cute :3 Random urges are strange things.

I was so tired yesterday. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, which is very odd for me, considering my insomia... ARGH. ^^; but yeah. I think Im done. Yeehaw!

.... Kat is still here at 07:58 p.m.....

Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Winamp: Aerosmith - Dont Wanna Miss A Thing
I SUCK! I havent updated since... Sunday? Augh! Too bad I cant think of anything to write. Alas, my life is so boring! O_o. I made a new layout for the blog today, not sure if I'll use it, but Its cute. If I do it will probly be up tomorrow :D I have resolved to FINALLY start working on the Domain!! ARGH! I feel so bad for having it just SIT there not doing anything.

Mmm... Jimmy Eat World. Lesse. Skool sucks, as Maria said. Its boring, but funny at the same time. Spanish is like the MOST boring class in the ENTIRE known world. ARGH. I miss Senora Ficele, whom I had last year. English is boring too. CRAP! I'm 70 pages behind in Les Miserables ;_;. POOP! I dont wanna read..... ARGH!

We were watching a funn french movie in Creative Writing. It was called "My Fathers Glory". Haw haw. The kid in it, Marcel, looked like YOUNG!Michael Jackson. ¬_¬ scary. Marcel met Lili, this really hot boy who lived in the mountains, and I swear to god they were lovers. XD haw haw.

8 MORE PAGES AND I WILL BE DONE WITH WITCHDOCTOR - THE SECOND VOLUME! EEEEE! I HATE inking beyond all hell. It sucks butt, and I'm taking way too much time on it. Then I get to ERASE it. :sarcasm: Oh JOY! My hands LOVE being cramped and all. haw haw.

The funniest thing happened in the locker room today; and yes, this is the last thing I will say. Maybe. Anyway, I was sitting on the floor trying to ignore the screaming freshman, and Maria came over, so I stood up to sit with her. MY LEG DIDNT WORK! It had fallen asleep, so I stood up and like almost fell. It must have been SO funny to watch, because I was laughing so hard. Then I STOOD on it, and it still wasnt working, so I almost fell again. XD I'm such an imbecile. Did I spell that right?

Well, I think I'm done here. Hasta Luego :D OH WAIT! One more thing!!! She has a link to my blog! I dunnathink I do, so I will have to link her!! :D I love her layout, and she has a LUFFY SHRINE! :dies: I like her already ^^
The End.

.... Kat is still here at 08:31 p.m.....

Sunday, November 17, 2002
Winamp: Tatu - All the things she said
Whee! ARGH I wanna work out. Maybe tomorrow. BWAHAHA. I gotta run my little leggies off. Yessiree bob. What can I ramble about today? I made CDs! My Gravitation one messed up ;_; Oh well. But I made the tyte-est Mix CD ever :D Hoo hah!

I was reading random slash fics today. Like from Shanghai Noon and uh... what else? Oh yeah. The Mummy XD. Where the hell did Ardeth/Johnathan come from? :is confused: And you know what surprised me? Theres no Men In Black slash! You'd think there would be tons! But nope. None that I could find. Wierd, eh?

Doo doo doo. I feel so FAT. ARGH ARGH. I went to church and listened to a PAINFULLY boring homily today. PUKE. Good thing I was thinkging about KenichiXRyu during it (bwahaha.)Speaking of slash, I was stuck behind three gay guys at church who kept giggling and pinching each others butts. I wouldnt have had a problem with it if they werent like 50!! puke puke.

Social blogging-ness!
Maria: I promise I'll do your layout soon ^^; I made a draft. Maybe I'll show it to you sometime! Heh heh.
Misai: Yeehaw! Tom Felton, Sean Biggerstaff and ... Tom Riddle can have my children! You liked HP2 too?? :giggle: It was like my favorite movie all year!!!
Reins: I dunno if I've said this yet, but I'm diggin the new layout. And believe it or not, I did run around screaming "I am the lord! Haw haw you lowly vassals!" And whenever they did something I "demoted" them to serf-for-a-day. Haw.
CTR: I hope you feel better O_o. Please dont try to commit suicide. I would be sad.
Lyn: Did I get the address right? I love the new layout/ address/ etc. :D Sooo cool! Yeehaw!

I think thats all I have to say for now. Oh yeah! Im on these OP mailing lists and shit and I gotta say this before I freak out. AM I THE ONLY ENGLISH-SPEAKING PERSON (besides those whom I know personally and have corrupted) WHO LIKES ZOROXLUFFY? ARGH! I mean, ... just ARGH! All the Japanese sites like them together ;_; Why cant people who speak english?? argggggh. :D the end.

.... Kat is still here at 08:16 p.m.....

Friday, November 15, 2002
Winamp: Orgy - She Dreams In Digital
I saw Harry Potter 2 today!!! Woooo It was SO much better than the first one :D I loved it! And it wasnt fair! Tom Riddle was SO cute! XD Argh, and he had to die. Poop. Too bad Dumbledore died ;_; I cant believe it. Argh! He was such a perfect Dumbledore! Anyway, I loved the movie :D Draco got cuter and his teeth are perfect! I loved the quidditch scenes. Wooooo. I wanna be able to play quidditch.

I havent posted in a while. My left eye has been twitching since wednesday. ARGH. I didnt have school today. Bwahahah! It rocks :D Um... Oh yeah! Was downloading Invader Zim episodes and you know what? Tak the Hideous New Girl is like the best episode ever. :D Zim and Dib have to work together and its just SO good XD I loved it!!! Hahahaha.

We did the coolest thing in History yesterday. We're doing a Feudalism project where we each have manors (I'm the Lord! Bwaaaha). So we went on a crusade on Thursday. ( XD ) We went to each city and answered a question, each trying to beat the other manors in the class. We won!!! We ROCK! Woo woo. It was so fun. Haw haw.

Theyre making a FOURTH ONE PIECE MOVIE! :squeals: I wanna SEE it~! That is so cool :3 I love OP so much. Bweeeheee. I was gonna say something... what was it? Hm. Sammy came over after Harry Potter today and we were crazy. Like usual :D I practiced on Baby Chu! (My bass) I hadnt in such a while... Gawd, I want lessons.

All The Things She Said by T.a.t.u Is like the coolest song ever. Maria was so right :D I love it so much! :listens to it a bajillion times: Hehehehe. OMG! I wanna see LOTR2 soooo bad. It looked so good. Legolas is a hottie. :D :D I'm hyper. So I'm gonna split before I say 'Bwahahaha' one more time. dammit.

.... Kat is still here at 09:38 p.m.....

Tuesday, November 12, 2002
Winamp: Ayumi Hamazaki - Surreal
My internet wasnt working yesterday! I was gonna make a happy-birthday-Zoro post, but I could not, ALAS! Oh well. I went back to school today. :munching on chex mix: I had to make up a Scriptures test, but it was TRES simple :D YAY! ...I have a math test tomorrow. I should study. :pause: :bursts out laughing: Yeah RIGHT! hawhawhawhaw.

it was really hot in skool today. Ugh. Doo doo doo. I drew this cool pic and brought it to school, and everyone looked at it! O_o Courtney even showed it to Ms. Hall XD It was crazy! Ah, my crazy friends.

Hmmm.... I want some water. :goes off to get some: ....... :comes back: Mmmm. Water, Chex Mix and White Tictacs. Life is good. I want my sister to come home. I had a half day, so I have to wait another HOUR until we can hang out and do homework together XD WE had so much fun doing that yesterday, it should be illegal. I mean, how many people that you know have fun with their little sisters? Me!

.... Kat is still here at 02:18 p.m.....

Saturday, November 9, 2002
Winamp: BON - Boys
I went to this Catholic Youth Convention thingie with my youth group (of 5 people) today. It was fun, aside from all the God songs and people really getting into it. ^^;;;; But the people in my youth group are so cool! Jessica and Susannah are so nice, and I met Becky and Rebecca today. Theyre really nice! I didnt think I would get along with them at first (they looked like those stereotypical teenage bitches) but they were really cool! :D I think the most bonding we did was in the car XD.

So it wasnt too bad. Not as bad as I thought it would be. Hanley and I made fun of the Christian God Loving songs. We started dancing and everything. Woo. Yes Lord Yes Lord Yes Yes Lord! Amen XD. It was crazy.

Soooocial blooggggging :D Presents for two lucky individuals. (Yes, I know theyre shitty, but I was tired and youre lucky to get anything at all XD).
CTR:: Happy Birthdayyy~! Here is your present-o. I know its lame, but oh well. Yay~!
Misai!: I hope you feel better, honey-chile! ;_; I know how it feels to... :cough: be a woman on your birthday. :sweatdrop: Anyway, heres your Present! Happy fourteenth birthday, and feel better! :3 :hug!:

What else... EEEEEEEEEEE! thats the COOLEST layout :DrooL: I want da skilllllz. I cant decide who changes heir layouts more often - Reins or myself. ^^;;; Wheee. Well, thats enough ramblin for now. La la la~

.... Kat is still here at 11:41 p.m.....

Friday, November 8, 2002
Winamp: Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Life
I live! I've been sick. Really bad flu. ;_; No puking, just dizziness, faint feeling, headaches, sore throat and fatigue. Ear aches too. Boy did I feel crazy. And I missed a scriptures test! Grah! :smacks head against keyboard: stupid me!! But...can we say five day weekend?!? Yeehaw! :dances around:

So....Now I'm hanging around reading Invader Zim fics. Curse you, CTR, youve brought my obsession back to the surface. Doo doo doo. I wanna draw Dib XD. Yeeeehaw.

I have Youth Convention tomorrow....pretty much all day. yeehaw. I forgot to finish this! WTF am I talking about? XD See you all later!

.... Kat is still here at 07:31 p.m.....

Tuesday, November 5, 2002
Winamp: Simple Plan - I'm Just a Kid
I lost my history book! :death: Now how am I gonna do my notes? Argh! I have this stupid test tomorrow, someone shoot me. Oh well, I get to wear sweats! :D I really didnt do anything today, so its hard to comment on anything...

I just gotta say, I wanna see Gackt dance. XD. Whee! I had too much candy...I'm gonna puke. Blehhhh~ I'm on this Dib high O_o. I dunno why, Dib is just too cool for me. XD go dib! I likeda Gir too :D Gir gir gir~

MATH IS SO EASY! :squeal: I love it. Yeeeeeeeehaw. :D What else can I say? I wanna see more One Piece ;_; I NEED IT :crave crave crave: Argh!! :D

.... Kat is still here at 07:53 p.m.....

Monday, November 4, 2002
Winamp: Chad Kroeger - Hero
[add] Allright, everyone was talkin about it, so I got an urge. I drew Invader Zim fanart. :D Yay. It was my first time drawin them, go easy on me ^^; [/add]

Today was monday. Puke. Puke. Puke. Anyway, I was bored in Creative Writing so I wrote a poem making fun of poetry! Wanna read? Sure you do! Here we go:

"Eyes are burning slicing moonshine hurts
Night isnt day holding the sunset in their hearts
Stars are held in the pencaps of space
Showering lightning icy vanilla swirls
I am between covers as I scream
Purple angels speak no sense to deaf ears
Holding hot light in frozen tears
Hands go stale under inspection
Involvement networks ship dead bodies
Scarred with gentle kisses burn
It hurts dry my sandpaper bleeding
Bandaids needed for spiral ribbons
kiss."

Yes! I didnt want to make sense, and so I didnt! Bwahaha. Oh yeah, I drew Luffy and Some Random Chick, in case youre interested.

If Burro is Donky in spanish, Burrito should be little donkey. So why do we call wrapps little donkeys?

.... Kat is still here at 04:10 p.m.....

Sunday, November 3, 2002
Winamp: Luffy tachi - Akuma No Mi
Egad, church was so scary today. I was passing out programs to people and this guy came up to me and stared at me. I figured he wanted a program, so I handed him one. He took it, crumpled it up, and threw it back on my pile, then kept STARING at me! I couldn't walk away cuz he would have followed me, and there wasnt any one around I could call. I got to freaked! Then he finally took the paper (after I started staring back at him) and walked off for some reason. I bolted off to my dad and he 'escorted' the guy away. It was so scary!!!

But then we got to go to Uwajimaya. :D. I got 2 new peach markers (god those run out fast), Shaman King cards (Shiny Anna, Ryu, Lyserg and HOROHORO :D), Chobits cards and "Fruits". This Japanese street fashion book. Its so cool, it gives me ideas for outfits :3 Theyre so cool! they make me wanna dress all wierd-like.

Hm.... I dun wanna go back to school tomorrow, but I get to go to the WAC! :rejoices: I havent gone in 2 weeks and I'm feeling so fat and lazy. Its really irking me. Whee~ I dunno what else to say... I drew a luffy in this wierd style, but yeah. La la la~ :hops off:

.... Kat is still here at 04:02 p.m.....

Saturday, November 2, 2002
Winamp: Italian OP theme - All'arrembaggio
New layout for November~~! Its so cute, except for those scary faces on those vegetables. O_o. Frightening. Anyway~ How was your Halloween? Mine was crazy. School was fun; I wore a fish headband and everyone had funny costumes. World History was so fun - I laughed so hard... Anyway, we had the best assembly, them dramafest, then dramafest again yeesterday. And I was talking about how wierd Mr. Schadt was, and then I realized he was behind me. ^^;;;;;;;; I hope he didnt hear.

Anyway, so I have to go to dramafest again today. Blehhhh. But its SATURDAY! :rejoices: I love Saturday~~~~~~ Yay yay yay yay~! I'm never gonna be able to eat candy again... :pukes:

Oh yeah. WOW.. Thats like the coolest thing I've ever seen. DANG, thats sooooo awesome. Red! I love red, especially red & luffy. Man! its DARK and SPIFFY!!!! :goes off to doodle and envy people's skillz:

.... Kat is still here at 11:31 a.m.....