[[.It's her solace; it's her solitude. ++



Service, what service.
|| Time: 07:50 p.m. || Date: Thursday, July 17, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ It's been either sweltering hot, or freezing cold lately. And currently, yours truly is sitting like a roasted pig in an oven. With a horrid flu cum fever. As if that wasn't bad enough, I scored horribly for my blocks. Hurrah. Then PW, the teacher made us change the entire focus and whatnot this Monday. Yay. EOM is supposed to be due today, but it's acceptable to be handed up tomorrow (I stayed till almost 3 trying to rush a new one out). Savvy. I've been losing my cool in almost every PW lessons since then. And it was my first swimming lesson today. Can't believe how much my strength and stamina fell (time to enchant I guess, or to pot before swimming). I felt tired after 5 laps of the breath of the pool. I used to be able to rush freestyle, backstroke and sidestroke in like 45 minutes comfortably, or rush a lap of freestyle in less than 1 minute 30 seconds, and still do pyjamas and swim around lazily without muscle aches. Now all I did was 2 laps of butterfly, not even rushing, and I have horrid muscle aches. Damn I suck. The worst part? My rheumatism started after 2/3 of the lessons were gone. T_T

The worst part of it all was taking the bus. Yes, taking the bus. Since now I stay barely 5-10 minutes from school, you may think, what's the big deal?

Number 1, for some reason I am unaware of, my EZ-link card expired. Yes, even after I renewed it last year. Savvy isn't it. And like I got onto the bus, it was like lunch break for sabbaticals in which I was spending it Fausty, and like I got onto 151, the new type of bus, and my card gave the embarassing shrill 'ti ti ti ti'. So the bus driver told me that my card was expired, and kept insisting I took my card out. So I showed it to him, and he hastily snatched it from my fingers and told me that he needed to get it checked. I was like ok... Why? He kept repeating that he needed to get it checked so I was like O_o, I'll retrieve my card later. And guess what? When I went in front to collect it, he was like, no, cannot, need to bring back to check why expire. I was like, why can't I bring it myself? And he kept saying it needed to be checked, and pressed the damn button to give me the bus fare ticket nonstop. By that I mean over 10 times. As in I didn't get why I wasn't able to bring it there myself. Why must I entrust my ez-link card with some totally rude old dude who talks in circles? So in the end, to avoid tinting the image of my school, I got off the bus and recorded the bus number, determined to get an answer. So I called the SBS service center, and enquired why wasn't it possible for me to take the card to the centre myself? So the operator told me that it was standard procedure blah blah, but that wasn't the point. The point was how rude the bus driver was, and he did EVERY GODDAMNED THING BUT EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT WAS SO. And worse, he just kept pressing the stupid ticket out. And best part was, I found out he was supposed to give me a receipt with the details written on it, and all he gave me was a whole bunch of useless bus fare tickets. Does it hurt to have a well-mannered patient bus captain once in a while? I never had this problem in UK. If I weren't in the school uniform, I would have told him off straight in the face what a moron he was. And I was trying to bottle up my seething anger while I spoke to him. Apparently our frequencies differ, or it's just that I was speaking Greek, Spanish in this case.

And today, after a painful day of lugging my crazily overweight bag to school with Sylvannas inside and my swimming stuff, I was glad to hop onto the first bus that came my way. So I did the usual, toss in some coins and waited for the ticket. The bus captain than went, student card. So I was like O_o, he meant my EZ-link card didn't he? So I was like it's not with me. And he kept repeating that, while snapping the bar thingum for signalling in an annoyed manner. So I just went in Chinese, I fucking don't have it!, after telling him nonstop in English. So he was like, pay adult fare, in a very very rude and unruly tone, something like that of a loanshark asking for money. I was like that's fine with me, cause some bus captains allowed me to pay student fare as long as I was in school uniform. Throughout the incident, I was being as polite as possible, damn the freaking school uniform. The issue here is not the money. Come on, if I wanted to, I would have taken a CAB home, or gotten my mum to fetch me. Would it kill to have some well-mannered, polite and courteous bus captains? Even taxi drivers are better mannered usually. I was appalled by the service standards. I was so tempted to go, "Who the hell do you think you are? I am the one paying the money here. And if I deem you unworthy of the few coins, I'd much rather take another bus with a bus captain who actually shows some respect to me, or I can even take a cab home and pay 3-4 times the price. Money is of no issue to me, but your uncouthness is a prick by my side, a thorn in my eye. Or even better, I can just call my mum to fetch me and get a luxury ride back to my house escaping from walking in the goddamned heat. So fuck off." If I had really wanted to, I can just complain, once more, to the SBS service centre, and get him suspended. I have my ways of doing so. Don't think that teens are easy to bully, or do not deserve as much respect as an adult would command. In fact, chances are he would be relying on us youths to keep the economy afloat in the future. Or we can all just withdraw from the transportation market and watch him lose his job, although that's just unjust to the undeserving bus captains. God. And best part was, he glared at me from the mirror when I was disembarking. Like come on. What's his problem? You had a bad day, think I didn't? I can't help but not understand what he was saying when all he did was gruffly spout incomplete and completely incoherent sentences. Argh. More chances for pimples to erupt from my already volcanic landscaped face.

You know what, I ought to stop taking the bus and get my mum to pick me up daily. That'll be {$d_entry}.9x(365-48x2) less for the company. Peanuts no?

Thank god for Elune, an outlet to vent out my frustration.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Just a quickie.
|| Time: 12:45 p.m. || Date: Monday, June 9, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Ah, since I am not WoWing, and have not started the revision for today, I shall post a quickie here.



Click for full view.

What is that? A little random tee-shirt design spun up by yours truly out of boredom. NOT THE OFFICIAL CLASS TEE DESIGN THAT'S FOR SURE. Thankfully that is cleared up now. For elaborations on the design, click HERE.

Now time to go back to Wo-, I mean STUDY, yes, STUDY is good. Study...
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Before a Karrot complains.
|| Time: 10:07 p.m. || Date: Friday, June 6, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ 1. What's your ambition?

Game Designer/Graphics Designer/Businesswoman.

Make that a billionaire.

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?

Friends. Without them, you will be lonely as a single. For the latter, they too are like friends to you, just a little closer perhaps.

3. Who is the person you trust most?

Myself. My family. Yeap.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?

Ya think? -_-||| If I had enough confidence, I would go up on stage and rant to the entire world about life's misery. Wait, that's just being brash/rash/stupid isn't it.

5. How many babies you want?

I can't say for now, since I have not looked after one. For all you know the number can change from 3 to 1 if they are way too much trouble.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

Depends on what sort of rain. Usually no.

7. What is your goal for this year?

1 guy pull-up and Ace my exams. All of them. PWN Hordes/Ally, depending on which character I am playing.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?

Eternal love you mean? It can happen.

9. Have you broken someone’s heart that she/he tried to commit suicide?

Thank Elune no, or I will be suicidal myself.

10.What feeling do you love most?

Finally succeeding in something. Or just ganking Hordes.

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?

Acceptance, kindness, compassion yadayadayada. Humane. You know, the usual. Add a dash of a rogue spirit and he's good to go.

12. What was your last thought before you attempted to answer this MEME?

What the hell is a MEME.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?

If you mean close friends yes. Cherish as in factor out significant amounts of time and energy, closer friends. If not, either I will be too drained to keep it up or they won't do the same.

14. What does flying means to you?

Pretty Hippogryphs. Long flights over the continents with several silver as cost.
Rather...
Release. Escape. Freedom. Calmness. (not 'flying' as in flying in a plane mind you.

15. What do you crave for the most currently?

WoW. Says a lot doesn't it.

Rather, STRAIGHT As FOR A LEVELS.

16.How often do you miss your that special someone?

SomeoneS. I miss my family dearly if I am away or vice versa.

17. What does sacrifice mean to you?

Taking a risk you would never have taken to protect/give a better life to someone you love and care for, even if it means losing everything you have. Think Illidan.

18. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?

Sec 1. The 'Golden' Age.

19. What would you do if you have 24 hours left?

Tear myself away from WoW. Play my favourite song on the piano once. Live life as per normal with my family, making sure to take all the initiatives possible, and tell them how much I really love them.

20. Among all the countries you've been to, which one do you miss most?

USA. Shopping Galore. Love the lifestyle, love the clothes, love the malls, love the musuems, love the roadtrips, love the schools, love the WoW.

Instructions: Remove one question from above and add in your personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

i. Hollie
ii. Sandy
iii. Ness
iv. KW
v. Tess
vi. Gav
vii. Leo
viii. Luna

Like the title said.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Lalalalala. I am screwed.
|| Time: 11:12 p.m. || Date: Wednesday, April 23, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Ahh, I haven't been blogging for quite a while, my apologies. I've been too busy failing with work, and hence my valuable time has just slipped through my fingers once more. Sigh. I've indeed been bogged down by all the JC stuff recently, and am physically and mentally drained. I plop on the bed once I reach home and nap for like 1-3 hours, depending on the time I actually reach home, and hence my homework time forgone. Can't help it. I DO indeed try to stay up, but it's so taxing that I can barely do a simple math tutorial without redoing a question like a million times, ie. 1 hour on a question of Maclurin. There's also this ambivalence which arises when I stare at the newest season's clothes and my homework. Sigh. I seriously need to buck up, yet my wardrobe needs a SERIOUS revamp.

My mind's been besotted by the most ridculous topics ever. I shan't elaborate on them here sadly. Ha.

Taekwando compeititon is coming up, and guess what? I have done ZILCH. And my teammates? Didn't go for the past god knows how many trainings. And recently, I don't even have time to stay back after school. Yay me. And I just skipped 2 trainings in a row. Yay me again.

Someone's behaviour been realllll conspicuous lately, but dwindled recently. Don't know if that is a good or a bad thing at times. -_-||| *coughchemtuttodaycough*

Ok, let's not bore you with the incessant ramblings of my vacuous mind. Onto a lighter note, the A-D-NA, Athena faculty outing held last Saturday. The most I've relaxed for the recent weeks, which says a lot since it wasn't what you can call a success. =/

I don't really have much time to blog before I go to bed, so here's the gist of it.

Before fac outing, my class decided to gather at a certain tall person's house to eh, play mahjong, gamble and play table tennis, since his family is out. Rachel was going to be there too! But the girls being the anti-social group, went with Cecilia who was dressed like a guy since she was a candidate for fan princess, to her SCGS funfair, at which I stoned after arriving an hour and a half late. =D Met Joelyn there and chatted for a while, cam whored since Li Yi was there before hitting off to Jerome's house. Went there, stoned, played cards and all. Lost almost every game since I kept getting si pai. Must be my luck. And I missed my arcade outing to go with the girls ok! =D They better feel honoured. And I almost forgot, since Li Yi was like, we didn't take any group pics at the funfair, we cam whored at the mrt station. -_-.




So at around like 6pm, we left for the fac outing. Before that, we went to this playground thingum with the spinning thingum which Bernice, Jian Le and I got on and we were spun around like crazy by a certain Justin. -_- When it stopped, I felt the entire ground spinning and I almost fell off while it was spinning too. And after that, Bernice and I were giddy, dizzy and nauseous all the way. Even at the fac outing. So feeling like a poor frail sickly girl, stoned in the toilet since I was trying not to throw up and the guys thought we stoned it there cause like we were discussing about who was supposed to be fac princess, since all of us believed that it was too great an honour to live up to. Although Liang Zhen was nice enough to take up that honour which was originally bestowed upon her. =D So Zi Kang and Liang Zhen, 66's royal fac couple! Did I mention I feel oddly under-dressed? Should have worn the MNG blouse my mum told me to. Sigh. Why must she always be right?




Some random weirdo selection tests for the fac prince and princesses, inclusive of cracking of raw and cooked eggs using their heads and eating satay held by a certain body part of the other and not to mention nipping a hanky off the other's body while blindfolded. Pwned.

Yadayada, ate outside since I was feeling like crap until I decided to get water. The girls went back in while the guys who joined us for a while stayed outside. So I saw Joleyn with a cup of what looked like pineapple juice, so I asked for some and realised it wa beer and sprite. MAN! It tasted like heaven! So Cecilia and I kept stealing from her and soon I got on a high while lasted till I got home. It didn't help that I took some of her vodka and juice later. ^^lll Still, at least I felt so much better. Thank the mystical powers of alcohol.

Then there was this nomination thingum once more, and since we all admire a certain counsohloke in our class, we started sticking the stars meant for the voting of the fac prince and princesses on his back! And we sent him up too. =D At least he was a nice sport and went up unwillingly. Haha.


So end of the fac outing, was the lucky draw. And guess what? Yong Jie won the drool-worthy 80G Ipod Classic. Which all of us chipped in to pay for. -__- So we were like DAMN YOU YONG JIE and what not, and finally pillow throwing at him. So while going back, the nefarious gang of us were scheming as to what we should do to to that asinine of a Yong Jie who couldn't stop laughing and flashing + protecting his Ipod. The best plan was impaling. Throw the Ipod down to the spikes and watch him dive in a desperate attempt to save it from the wooden stakes, hence getting impaled. Ah, sweet revenge. =D Sadly the ambushes were foiled and I just highed my way home with Cecilia who got a lift from my dad at the Newton MRT station. =D



And hence yours truly ends this inane post for some much needed zzzs and more vexation derived from the sky high intellects of my fellow classmates.

DISCLAIMER: The Nat, satay eating and class shots are taken by the ipod maniac.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Ranting ranting ranting ranting rant.
|| Time: 12:49 a.m. || Date: Saturday, March 15, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ WARNING: This is a ranting post. If you do not wish to read rants by the authoress, please get lost close this page by clicking the nice red cross at the top right corner of the window. Incoherence in the post may ensue.

I tell you, my relatives AMAZE me. They do the most STUPID of things, make my life miserable during the Chinese New Year gatherings, and I just LOATHE meeting up with the bulk of them most of the time. Whoa, you might think, that's quite a reaction to people who share the same blood as you. Well let me tell you something, I do not wish to feel this way towards my relatives, but what can I say, this is the result of years of impression they've given me.

No, I am not going to complain incessently about comparison of grades and achievements this time. It's worse than that, a whole lot worse. It's like comparing a kitten's meow to a lion's roar. Wait, what sort of an analogy is that. Forget it. Anyway, time for me to rant.

Being the oldest of the family, I would at least expect a certain form of dignity to be present and perhaps protection of your yonger siblings. Instead, a nice uncle of mine has decided to call all his brothers and sisters, and their families of course, to borrow money, once again. Yes. It's not the first time he is doing this. By borrowing money, I do not mean like a hundred or few hundred dollars. Seriously, if it was that kind of amount, I won't even bother to take notice of it. But he is asking for thousands of dollars from each sibling. Not ONE thousand, but MANY thousands. I wasn't surprised when my mother came to me ranting about how he and his wife were calling and smsing everyone to borrow money again. Since my parents never loaned their family any, I just listened for the gossip present while sighing at the pathetic excuse of relatives they are.

That night, my dad came home in a terrible mood. My mum immediately told my dad about the borrowing money incident and my dad went, "That -inserts censored words and phrases here-. I was like O_o. That's not like my dad to say that since we never really bothered ourselves with them. Over dinner, we found out that that certain uncle of mine, had the nerve to ask my dad for a fuc-ing ten grand. I was going WTF?! in front of my younger brother mind you. My mumt too had the same reaction as me. Seriously, I know he had a nice history of borrowing money from others and never returning but asking us for an effing ten grand is pushing it, by a LOT. It's not that we can't afford it, but rather it's not worth it. He doesn't deserve it in the first place. Why the hell should we lend such a large sum of money to you if you don't need it?!

Turns out, he asked for thousands from all my aunts and uncles, except a few families whom he either had no contact with or still had unpaid debts with. He NEVER dared to ask my dad personally for loan of money all these years, and all of a sudden this? Look, if he is in serious financial crisis, my parents won't mind helping. If he deserves the help, we would gladly come to his aid. But hell, he has a kid, married, and apparently "doing very well in his company" might I add, with house and car etc fully paid for. All he needs is enough money to feed himself and his wife. And here he is, a grown man, shamelessly begging everyone for money? Hello, most of my relatives do indeed have married children and such, but even so, he had a job and after selling his old house for a smaller one since his son is married, I bet you he have more than eighty thousand spare in his pocket now. He dared to ask money from my aunt whose husband had left the world. Three thousand. She is having enough trouble maintaining the family expenses even with her two older children working. She still has a kid who is schooling too. He dared to ask my aunt who is divorced and struggling to make ends meet by living off her two children. Who does he think he is? He has a son who effing works. And he can easily get a part time job if he is in desperate need for money. Why the hell would he need tens of thousands of dollars? Apparently his excuse to my dad was that his son wasn't doing too well, and is threatening to end his life. Big deal. Which teenager won't go through such a phase in life? Even I've been through it. He is a grown adult, go see an effing therapist. But wait, my aunt was bragging about how well her son is doing, and told my mum that the money was because my uncle has shares in a company he was in which went bankrupt. If the latter is the case, my dad would help. Lying by using such a pathetic excuse as the former isn't going to help. And personally, I don't believe a crap he says.

A few weeks before, I was walking back home after taking the bus and suddenly a car pulled up next to me. I saw it was him and I just smiled. Apparently he has some thingum for my dad and needed to pass to him. Since I was there, I told him that I would pass it to my dad and he didn't need to call my mum down and all. He went like it's important, some business related stuff in a you-are-too-young-to-understand tone. -_- Fine. So I went back up after he insisted on giving me a lift for like less than a hundred metres. I told my mum and she went down since she was on her way to pick my bro from school and wondered if he could give her and my bro a lift. When my mum came home, she was pretty much irritated, very irritated actually. Turns out that after picking my bro since he decided to be a 'nice guy', he spent the entire journey hinting to my bro about STUPID things. First he went, "You know, taking taxi nowadays is very expensive ok, so uncle drive you actually money. Ask your daddy to pay me for a ride huh hahahahahaha." Not effing funny. And if it's once I would shrug it off. But it went on for the entire effing journey. If you wanted us to pay you, we might as well book a mercedes cab back or something. I'd rather pay 30 bucks to a limo taxi than to pay him. It's not the issue of money but rather hello, people give lifts out of goodwill, that's why it is a LIFT. If you are in for money, go become an effing taxi driver. As if that wasn't enough to make one's blood boil, he was going, "Your mother say her car very big right, hard to handle. Why not you ask your daddy to let uncle drive your mummy's car lah, than she drive this one, smaller than she not so scared." My mum might not be the best driver but hell, who the heck in the right frame of mind would lend their car to you?! Not to mention if he damages it, he will probably go,"It's your car not mine, so don't ask me to pay hor." GOD. He is driving me INSANE. My dad was swearing under his breath when my mum told him too. Such a cheapskate person will get nowhere in life. Being a miser will make you poorer, not richer.

So in the end to shut him after (the both of them kept bugging my parents DAILY) [but to me that is stupid, since his phone bills will be sky high and he is broke isn't he?] a few weeks, my dad relented and GAVE him two thousand to get rid of him. My dad was like never again are we going to help you, and we want nothing to do with your family. If you disturb us once more with your family problems, I will tell you striaght in the face to fuc- off. And that night he smsed my dad "Is the money tranfered over yet?", my dad almost went ballistic in the restaurant. God. We are fuc-ing GIVING you the money, two thousand, which is enough to fund my gym/facial/hair treatments/a short vacation/a hellavu shopping spree etc, and you come asking if we've transfered it? Sometimes I think my dad is too nice a guy. He just calmed down and went to the nearest atm machine to transfere it. I was cursing nonstop for the entire night.

To me, if you deserve the help, I don't mind lending you ten thousand if my financial ability allows it. However if you don't deserve the help, you can go to hell. There are a lot of others out there who could make better use of the money than you. And since you are able to get a job, you don't need to resort to begging. Absolutely undignified and no pride for oneself. How low can one go? Apparently, very.

RANT CONCLUDED.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Ambivalence coupled with the alluring taste of afterlife.
|| Time: 06:10 p.m. || Date: Monday, March 10, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Ahhh. I hate the days in which various mind-numbing issues of life decide to pop by and lecture you on their respective philosophies.

Love. What is love in the first place? A sense of mild infatuation and coupled with blindless care for that special someone? A selfless act of courage when that special someone is in danger? Or is it the shower of roses and boxes of creamy dark chocolate at your doorstep? Perhaps it is the new one carat diamond ring proudly displayed on your finger? The new sports car you are driving? Or the sweet and warm feeling which twists your heart oh-so-slightly when you think about or look at that someone? The silly smile on your face when you daydream throughout the day? So what is love?

I just watched a rather sappy chinese movie centered around probably the most overated theme in Hollywood -- Romance. Typical isn't it. Surprisingly, my mum and I enjoyed it. The numerous twists actually keep the audience awake, instead of the usual not needed love-making and kissing scenes. It was a rather no-brainer, something for me to pass time when I get back after a long day in Orchard. Nothing really caught my attention (I mean hello, what is so intriguing about the husband of your best friend fooling around with another good friend of yours?) until the last 20 minutes or so of the movie.

Sometimes I wonder, if perhaps, just perhaps I am taking my life for granted. All the comfort and to a small extent, luxury I indulge myself in; what if they all disappeared one day? Ah, your materialistic author would probably die from manual labour then. What I was really thinking about, was more along the lines of those I care about. Time really flies. So much has happened in the last 4 years of my life. It seems so far away, like a dream amongst the clouds, an illusion in the skies. Did those incidences really happen? All the laughter and tears, all the joy and sorrows, all the experiences, all the friendships forged... It doesn't feel like 4 years. I look into the faces oh-so-familiar to me, and I wonder, did that face seem foriegn to me once? What would it be like, if we had never met? Would we walk past each other, as though the other was invisible? Would we stop and smile, perhaps striking up a mundane conversation? Or would we narrow our eyes and strut past with our noses in the air? Frankly, I don't know. I don't need to know.

Death. The acrid smell of decay penetrates through everything. It lingers in places once filled with life, like a permernant shadow over the Sun. What would I do if I lose someone close to me. I think I will probably break down for a month, and live the rest of the year shrouded in gloom and despair, perhaps even invoking sucidal thoughts. Add a few trips to a therapist and that is probably what will happen. My sleep has been plagued with nightmares for the second half of the week before last. The memories are misty now, but I remember death being a main theme in each of the dreams. I don't know, maybe it's just my repressed consciousness forcefully yanking me back from my flowery daydreams. As much as I long for endless amount of riches, what is that compared to those whom you truly treasure?

If one day the Grim Reaper descends upon me and point his scythe against the throat of a loved one, what would I do? Would I throw myself in between them? Would I fall to my knees and beg? Would I just cry silently at the side? Would I even be relieved that it wasn't my time yet? If I found out that I only had a few days of my life left, what would I do? Would I spend every second of it with those I love? Would I cry in denial? Would I just continue with my life like nothing is going to happen? Would I try my best to fulfill all my dreams and aspirations? Would I curse the heavens for my fate? Would I wish it upon someone else? Would I tell those I care about my impending death? There is also the question of what I would worry about when I leave this world. Would I worry if anyone will cry for me at my funeral? Would I worry about how those who love me will handle my death? Would I worry about being forgotten? Would I worry about all the would-haves if I haven't left the world? Life is fair for once, at least everyone has to die. I just don't wish to leave without a last day spent with those I love. I just don't wish for the lives of those still around to be even more difficult without me. And yes I am selfish, I don't wish for those I love to leave me behind too.

Everyday I look into your face, never noticing the silent knives of time. Autumn has arrived, summer past. The radiance of the flowers gone, the lush greens diminishing, the scent of life faint. I hurried on with my daily chores to and fro, ignoring everything, anything else. Homework, the internet and sleep were of utmost importance to me. Oh how blinded I was. In this cycle of routine I've failed to see, the importance of those close to me. Once bursting with life and vigour, now sitting on the bed, lethargic. Eyes sparkling with a tinge of mischief, now stare dully into space. The warm smile and comforting words, replaced by curt sentences and woes. Where have your patience gone to? Frustration and irritation prevail in your world, regrets and anger fueling them to new height. How stupid I was. I am old enough now, I once thought. You don't need to treat me like a child anymore. When you reached to pat my head, I swiped your hand away. Don't do that, it's embarassing. A look of hurt crossed your eyes. I ignored it and continued on. Oh how immature I was. Please forgive me. Please give me a chance to turn back time, back to the carefree days of childhood, simple games and most of all, unshackled by the demons of materialism. Can you take my by the hand once more, and accompany me on a ride on the carousel? Can you lift me onto your shoulders, and let me carass the skies? Can you hug me tightly and whisper words of love and care into my ear? Can you hold my hand gently, and comfort me when I am afraid? I miss the times so. You once told me, that little children can't wait to grow up, but when they do, they think otherwise. I guess you were right. Please, don't ever leave me. Don't leave me alone.

It's been drizzling since the mid-afternoon. The sky's been a mild shade of grey. I've been in a mellow and even a state of disarray all day. Sometimes, I wish I would stop growing up so quickly. It's best to be ignorant at times. It saves you the pains and sorrows crushing down on you after. Yes, I've lost all coherence since the first sentence of this post. And perhaps so have my mess of thoughts. I guess we are all waiting silently, on the precipice of death. It's just a matter of time, just a matter of time.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Old friends, new memories.
|| Time: 11:18 p.m. || Date: Tuesday, Febuary 26, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ A week has passed since two certain people left. Sigh. Oh well. At least the new CT mates are nice. Amiable. And it was interesting to know that they knew Sai and Joelyn. O_o. Unexpected. Speaking of which, both of them, with a certain Eunice got into HCJC! *le GASP* Congrats to all of them! When I saw Joelyn in the canteen after having lunch with my CT mates and Beck, I was like *stops and stare*. She was like *stops and stares too*. And she was the first one to snap out of it and came over to greet me. So more teasing, joking, and such and finally a hug. Exchanged hp numbers too. Then Sai came along. She was like *waves*. And I was like. O_O. O_O. O_O. SAI!!!!!!! Kinda thing. Haha. I was REALLY happy to see her here. =D So I hugged her too. And Joelyn was like oh it's you! O_O. Fine, so the world is small. Singapore is smaller. And they started arguing as too whom I hugged first and which of them I love more. -_-||| Yay old relationships revived, and new ones forged.

Chem test the day before along with Math assignment. To put it simply, both screwed. The guys on the other hand can finish the darn Chem paper properly when the girls couldn't even finish the bulk of the MCQs. Shows the level of intelligence between us doesn't it. That completedly sapped most of our brain juices, and there was still Orientation 2 for the newcomers. Hurray. I shall talk more about it in another post. I shall give some quick ones on the CT lunch after CNY celebrations.

CNY celebrations. Supposed to wear either red or orange or yellow or some shade along those lines to school. So being a nice girl, I wore one of my rare orange shirts (actually closer to the shade of brown, but that's the best I've got which was a normal shirt...) and bermudas (Since NY is ANAL about the length of your pants/shorts). And I found the bulk of the girls in shorts. -_-||| Should have guessed, seriously. Anyway, we so stoned, watched the celebrations, which was pathetic compared to NY's, although Wushu was nice (Nat was pro!). =D What was interesting was the lao yu sheng for every class. So we tossed it with 60 and well, they made a hell of a mess at our bench. Some of the 06 seniors came back too to cou re nao =D. I forced like 5 mouthful of it down before giving up. I never liked eating it. And the one the school provided doesn't taste too nice... So had to clean up after it and all and more chatting stoning and chatting. Bernice and I decided that we needed some quality emo time, so we snuck off since the stalls weren't set up yet and sat at a ncie platform overlooking the field and just chatting. This went on for well, 45 minutes before we decided not to be evil and abandon the class. So back we went to help with the stall (mash potato and assorted nuts) and buy food! Quite a failure =P but it was fun. With everyone like shouting for others to buy and all, and Samuel trying to take nice shots of Rachel, then Bernice and me. X_X But thank god both of us just stood permernantly with our backs facing him so yea. =P




Went off to find my friends cause we were supposed to go back to NY. Then, we found out that NY's celebration ended hours ago, so most teachers were already home! We were like -__-. Great. So stoned a while more while waiting for the rest to decide if they should go for lunch together. Since they decided to go back to 'empty' NY, I decided to be nice and stay with Bernice who was trying to call people back for CT lunch. We took like an hour or something calling people and deciding where we should go. Meanwhile, we had Kah Loke and Bernice eating brownies, with the former eating quite a few pieces and was complaining =D. So no idea how, but we managed to decide on 6th ave, where we further stoned cause no one was really in a mood -_-|||. Jia Hong followed us too with a huge styrofoam box worth of class food stuff which weren't used. Of which were a LOT, and I mean a LOT of water apples. -_-|||

Took a bus there, stoned for 15 minutes. And FINALLY, decided to go sit outside Canadian pizza like poor homeless kids and eat. So went in, (I was pitying Bernice, it was HELL hard to organise outings, and even worse since the guys are more indecisive than us.) ordered 2 pizzas and waited. While waiting, stoned and chatted more, with more shots being taken. Card tricks shown by the isparkers (who else?) for entertainment. =D So finally pizzas arrived and we were happily munching on them! And Nat was like pouring the cheese toppings into his mouth... -_-||| Once done, Jia Hong was like asking us to help him finish his water apples, since he had like a few hundred at home... So being nice people, we relented and took one each. Slippery slope after. (Kinda.) Nat was eating more than 1 of those and Rachel started offering him more. He was like taking them and saying 'last one' but he kept on eating (which motivated the rest of us to eat more too!). And we were wondering if the cotton thingum inside was edible and Jia Hong was like it wasn't a practice for people to eat it. And Nat was holding onto the base of the apple. Implications? He had eaten it. And Kevin (Ng) was like O_O! Since we were asking him to demonstrate eating the entire apple in a bite, which he did. -_-||| The guys I have in my class... So on and on we cheer Nat, who finished like around 7 apples or so. And to make things even more comical, we (Bernice, Rachel and I) took a plastic bag from Jia Hong, placed all the packets of milk in it, along with all the water apples we could stuff into the bag too! =D So we passed it to Nat who was like trying to stiffle his laughter. He was nice though and accepted the bag (since he wanted the milk in the first place). However he wouldn't pose for a picture with his bulging bag. I would die if I'd to carry that back, but to him, it was weights training. -_-||| And Jia Hong's box became lighter by more than half. ^^;; So back we went since my Grandad was already at home, and no one wanted to go play pool so yea. Had steamboat, home style that night so it's cool. =D






Too lazy to blog much actually. I just want to lie down and go to bed since I am not planning on doing anything productive. Oh well, taekwando tomorrow too. And Yong Ji is coming with! =D Hope she ends up in my group! And pray I don't die for PT. If not I'll be like wth. -_-||| And hopefully I won't screw up tomorrow's Physics practical. What's new anyway. Sheesh.

I shall update more another time. Yours truly is bogged down by work.

And is in a horrid mood.

Ciao.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Ah, inferiority.
|| Time: 10:52 p.m. || Date: Tuesday, February 19, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Argh. I swear. I've been in so many dilemmas recently, I am driving myself insane. And it doesn't help with Rachel and Dawn gone now. God. I feel like a useless leech. Using the IP system as a quick route to one of the top JCs in the country. Sometimes I think I am only deluding myself. What makes me think I can even get into a 'good' JC if not for the IP program? In fact, I think I wouldn't be able to qualify for schools like NJC or VJC and I'd be lucky to even go to ACJC. But life IS unfair, and there's nothing we can do about it. I don't feel like emoing now. I've wasted too much of my emotions to even bother. I don't wish to type out superficial posts for the sake of sounding like it's the end of the world. To me, it's normal to miss them, to long for their presence, laughter once more. Nevertheless, we don't need to sound like it's a funeral and act like Armageddon is approaching. I think they'd prefer if we see them off with a smile. Why leave on a sad note? They would most likely need all the encouragement they can get for their integration into their new schools, instead of spending their time condemning themselves for not being able to stay. And it's not like we can't see them again. Sure it'll never be the same, but at least we can always remember the good time we've had together. That to me, is the most important thing of all. All good things come to an end. People come and go.

You know, I ought to really stick to my plan of blogging at least once a week or else I'll have too much to blog about, and too little time. Sigh. A little something about today first I guess. Rachel came and left. In the morning. Disappointment. Dawn stayed but left after a few hours. Determination. 3 hours of Chemistry. Leaking burette. Redid titration. Tutorial (Extra hour). Felt stupid. Tutorial ended. Bulk of the isparkers went to play the organ. Felt even more inferior. Girl chat about inferiority, and perhaps we ought to just switch out and get all the ex-4/1s in our class. And pray we get into a not-as-smart-and-all-rounded class. Enough said. Took a bus home. Got on 170, heard this Indian guy in his mid-50s scoolding someone/some people. I just walked by since I thought he was on the phone. "I thought all from ACS, supposed to be smart, why so stupid? Stupid man." I was like O_o. What on earth? I realised then he was referring to this bunch of ACS (Barker) guys at the back of the bus. No idea what happened, but he did sound really irritated. *shrugs* "These kind of kids, need to scold once in a while. Not become stupid like that!" Right. Did keep me awake during the journey since the dude was seated next to where I was standing.

Ok, about the ECP outing. It was like quite a while back oh well. Well, it was quite... Interesting. Arrived there. Saw an entire group of guys settled near the wall. I stopped. O_O. No girls. Great. Sat at the edge of the crowd and started being anti-social. Others soon came and all and suddenly I heard giggles, laughter and snickers. Looked up from my phone. Saw Liang Zhen attempting to enter via the wrong side. (You know the machine which you need to tap your card on? She tapped on the wrong side.. And was like 'Why can't I enter?') Waited a while more before going to some mini mall thingum to have breakfast. Or brunch. While eating, there was an unglam photo-taking session war thingum. The guys were all trying to snap unglam shots of Bernice, Liang Zhen and Rachel. Since I was eating, there wasn't much I could do. -_-||| And thank god for that, it wasn't as fun to tease me. =D Tried to take unglam/scandalous shots of the guys. =D And coughcoughcough did we suceed in a way coughcoughcough. So after Rachel arrived, as early as usual, we decided to go to ECP.

Walked there, with the guys in the lead, and girls tailing further and further behind. At one of the corners of a HDB building, we were like, the guys are so not gentlemanly, they didn't even realise we were falling further behind. So time to play a prank on them. Payback time. So we hid at the corner and peeked out to see how long would it take for the guys to notice. Apparently, it took them quite a while. They were almost out of sight before they realised. So we were like, fine. Since we are that unimportant, don't mind if we disappear. So off we went to find nice hiding places. Couldn't find any, so we decided to run a story up. The guys soon came back and were like looking for us and calling our cells. Duh we ignored them. Excuse later? Oh, they were in our bags, and on silent mode. Sorry! =D But since we were only on the 2nd storey, it is easily spottable if we stood up. So off we went to the 6th floor. Extreme yes, but we can look down at them and laugh. So can you believe it? They gave up and went to ECP without us! -_-||| Nice guys we have in our class. So we were rather annoyed and decided to take a detour and hopefully beat them to ECP. Alas, it was foiled since there was only a route there, and the guys were taking it. So we pretended to stroll there like nothing has happened and go, "Oh? Where were you guys? Next time walk slowler please, we lost sight of you all!" Man. Some actually fell for it. =D We didn't let them in on the trick till we went back to school.

Surprise surprise! It started to drizzle! So we went back to the shelter of the underpass.Spent like at least half and hour deciding on what to do next. Actually, we spent the bulk of the outing deciding on what to do. O_o. Quite sad actually. So finally, after contemplating if we should go to Justin's or Liang Zhen's house, or to contiunue the inital plan of biking, or to just go to the mall nearby, we've decided to go play pool. -_-||| How nice. Best part is I can't cycle or play pool. ZZZ. I was actually hoping for the mall. So off we went to the bus stop to get a bus to the entertainment centre, which is so ulu. Rented 2 tables and I just played like 1 game... And our dear Rachel, self-proclaimed newb, owned the guys, depsite it being her first time playing. How nice. So basically, we just let her play all the way and own the guys. Sheesh. And the guys can play pool rather well too. T_T And yours truly is grappling as to how to hit the darn ball straight.

So off to lunch. Cheng Yao was suggesting a nice place to eat, which apparently has awesome food. Heard of the place before, but was skeptical since I'ven't tried it. Anyway, so he led us there, after walking past even more ulu areas. I realised it was in the same location as the place where we had Peranakan cuisine during the research Sai's group did for Emily Hill during Sec 2. =D Fun! Stood like dodo birds at the entrance for like 5 minutes before going in since the place was rather quaint and probably the people were not accustomed to having an entire gang of teens as customers. So we ordered our food and more lame and weird stuff followed. More teasing, more unglam shots, more stoning, more chatting, more laughter, you catch my drift. And well a certain Cheng Yao was bored so he stole my phone and went through my messages. Thank god I had close to 3k messages in my phone so he didn't get to squeeze much out of my personal life. -_- And it didn't help with him broadcasting my messages. And KLM was evil too! He didn't help me get my phone back! T_T. Man, I hate it when people go through my private stuff without my permission. -_-|||

Food came but my order got screwed up, so had to wait even longer for mine. Even so, I managed to finish before a certain Rachel! =D Whose dish came quite a while before mine! =D So I wasn't last! More chatting before we went our seperate ways to the bus stops and MRT stations. Nothing much for that outing but oh well, more quality time with my CT I guess. It's like I am going out practically every week and my work load is supposedly heavier in JC! This can only mean one of these options: I am ignoring my work or I am too efficient. I seriously believe it's the former.

Taekwando tomorrow. Getting the gi finally. Hope my asthma doesn't kill me.

Shan't blog about the farewell outing the day before. It was both awesome and screwed. How nice. Still, it's a memorable weekend for me, and the last one as a pre-intake CT. Here are some 'sneak previews' though.


And no, I am not in a mood to blog about the CT lunch or Valentine's too. Shall get the random tagged thingums up another time. I'm wiped.

Ciao.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


And welcome to the Rat.
|| Time: 06:35 p.m. || Date: Thursday, February 7, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Ahhh, it doesn't seem like the lunar new year has arrived. I can barely get over the fact that I am now thrust into JC and flailing my arms while drowing in the sea of homework and whatnot. I don't feel like I am a JC student. Yes, yours truly is still in denial sadly. And in a quandary of accepting that she is getting older by the year too. Don't we all just hate such states of perplexity? Cause I swear if this keeps up, I'll probably drive myself insane or go into permernant recluse. The addiction of youth, sigh. Man, speaking of which, I need to get my nails redone before I go to family gatherings later.

I know, I take a long time to post. But oh well, JC workload is indeed a lot heavier than high school, and not to mention I can't really afford to sleep during tutorials and lectures so go figure, no very/super/ultra late nights for me. So I guess I'll get on with the 2nd part of JTS before I go on to post about the class outing last Sunday and class lunch yesterday etc.

So after a nice dinner at Sakae Sushi, we walked over to Esplanade rooftop to have some senior junior bonding time. At first we just coagulated in groups and all, and discovering how evil a certain Jian Le can be. Proves that a person is never to be judged by looks. He looks so innocent and nice, but then Liang Zhen and I discovered his well-hidden dark side that night... So people, beware... T_T The seniors then shooed us into a big big circle to play some games (rather the games we had already played during dinner...). The girls felt realllll bored and out of place, so we hopped off to look for Rachel and Bernice who needed some air to breathe. Rachel decided she needed some alone time with Bernice, so the 4 of us, Liang Zhen, Si Min, Yong Ji and I sat at a bench and had some quality girl emo time. What really surprised us was that the class clown, Zhi Wan, was really worried about Rachel and he apparently walked around the entire rooftop looking for her. O_O He only went back to the circle after finding her and making sure she was alright... >_< Anyway, the 4 of us just chatted about friendship and other emo things before moving over to the grass patch. We walked by the circle but being naughty girls, we just >daoed everyone else. Sat on the grass but since I was wearing shorts, it was REALLY pricky and I had to sit at the edge to prevent myself from getting an unwanted acupuncture. Liang Zhen and Si Min didn't feel a single thing since they were wearing long jeans... Continued sitting there and talking and all until Daryl and his friends walked by and were like O_o, what are you girls doing here? Surprisingly, they noticed the junior girls disappeared! *le gasp!* They persuaded us to go back and we were like *shake heads*, so they just went back. Since Si Min needed to go, and Yong Ji too, Liang Zhen and I decided to go back to the circle to make sure at least 25% of the junior girls were there since Rachel was still upset.

Poor us squeezed ourselves into the circle and apparently they were playing the guessing number game still. So there were forfeits and all... And then it was Kang Wee's turn to set a number. Since I was beside him, I asked if he wanted me to be nice or evil, so he replied evil. I chose 50 and he was like, you hit the jackpot. I was like WTH. Now that was just plain evil. So poor me. It was my turn to set a number so I picked 17. And one of the seniors was evil and chose 20 so the range was pathetic and Christine was unlucky enough to get the number. I then realised she was my Taekwando senior, the chairperson of the CCA too! How fitting for a senior and junior to get forfeited together. So at first they wanted us to dance to some music and we insisted on not budging. So they relented and asked us to pose using the numbers 1 to 10 like we are posing for neoprints. So at first both of us were like didn't know what to do, so we just touched each other's 2nd finger while Lin Chen (the evil tracker) snapped away. Christine being an evil GEPer, devised a plan to make the forfeit fun, and made a peace sign but with only the 3rd finger up and the 2nd finger halfway down. So I followed suit. So for the rest of the photos, we just continued posing with our 3rd fingers up and the rest halfway down. Revenge ahhh! =D Lin Chen was like -_-||| plan backfired... Go Taekwando-ers! =DDD

So onto the next game -- Polar bear. -_-||| Played that during orientation and well, personally, I thought the game was crap. So 2 polar bears and 2 hunters were chosen yada yada, and when we all opened our eyes, I was one of the first to die, along with Guo Jie aka Ah Hoot, our assistant Fac head. -_- I was like wth! So fine, sat out and was like *eyebrow twitches* when I found out who the polar bears were. Lin Chen and Justin! -_- Typical of Lin Chen to kill me first! I was sitting next to him to make things worse -_-|||. Tor was innocent but due to majority voting for him as the killer, he was killed too haha. Then the next round Justin was caught. A few of us then got bored so we moved out of the circle (no difference to me since I was dead) to watch the stars. Daryl had a super powerful green laser and it could even be seen on the Marina Mandarin building! We used to it point out the stars and all... So more chatting while they finished up the game. After it ended, more coagulation before we decided to take photos. Rachel, Dawn and Bernice came back then so yay! Sandy insisted on taking photos with each junior girl at least once so I took a picture with here, before we broke up and took group pictures. First was the senior class. Then it was my class. =D The girls decided we were being ignored too often so we took a few girl group photos. But since Daryl, Kang Wee, Liang Yi that gang was helping us to take, they were like, 1, 2, 3! *turns camera and takes photo of themselves* Or 1, 2, 3! *someone places a hand in front of the lens* Or 1, 2, 3! *someone jumps in front of camera* -_-||| Guys will always be kids. And they like cam-whoring more than girls. -_-|||


Sandy then introduced the Grandsenior class, 06s66 (nice, 666!) to us, and they were like half dead since it was quite late and so were we. Daryl decided it was too boring, so the gang of them (He, KW and LY) psychoed us to leave with them and have coffee or something at Marina so we can sian there in a smaller group. Liang Zhen and I were more than happy to agree and the rest of the girls soon after since we were all bored stiff. Soon, almost the entire 08s66 agreed to it and putting on our best poker faces, we were like, oh Sandy, we got to go now. It's late and we don't want our parents to worry. *snorts* She fell for it, or didn't show her disbelief to us, and let us go. Found the tallest and shortest in our class hiding behind a wall *Oooo! Scandal!* and they followed. So Daryl was inflating his own ego as he was saying how just 3 of them can convince almost the entire junior class to follow. -_-. Anyway, walked to Marina and realised we didn't know what to do! So we camped outside of coffee bean for 15 mins (of which I spent 5 mins getting a nice mango blend) before the gang decided to just sit outside of coffee bean and chat. Since there weren't enough chairs, I stood with Liang Zhen who needed to go in 15 minutes since her parents were ballistic. Stoned there and everything before Liang Zhen went off. I was so high then I just wanted to stay up all night and perhaps go clubbing or something even though I wasn't dressed for it. I was so bored! So I kneeled down and whispered to the girls who were sitting there and a senior commented that I looked like a ghost with only my head visible. Sheesh. The rest found out about our escape plan and decided to move over too haha. Since I was looking hell bored, Lin Chen started talking to me and was like let me tell you a story. So he asked me to place my palm face up and fingers curled up to make 'fences' for the house which is in the middle of my palm. He then asked where do I want the swimming pool to be and I was like backyard? He then went "Kaaaaa-puuu" and I immediately withdrew my palm and whacked him. -_-||| Lame much!

It was like almost 11pm then so we decided to stop stoning there and just go home. The bulk of the people went off to the MRT station, leaving Dawn, Kang Wee, Liang Yi and I walking back to Esplanade (Dawn and I taking the cab, the guys taking buses). Found the taxi queue hell long so we spent another 20 minutes trying to help Dawn decide if she should book a cab or just take a bus home, or take a bus to an emptier taxi stand. I called my Dad to pick me up and decided to give Liang Yi a lift since he's staying at HC Boarding School. Poor Kang Wee had to take a bus home himself... And Dawn decided to take a bus home too. So waited quite a while for my Dad to arrive before he dropped Liang Yi home and then I went back home. I was quite tired surprisingly even though I felt so high just half an hour before. Washed up, changed up and knocked out.

Just a little update on my 1st day of new year I guess. Nothing much since went visiting my Grandad (pat) in the morning, then my Grandma (mat) who was in hospital. Man, death and diseases in the air during new year. Went to my aunt's house for a while then my bro got hungry so to Macs to get some snacks before going back to her house. Another aunt arrived then and well, just stoned there for a longgggg time while reading and smsing. The dogs were making a hell lot of racket too. The older one is always jealous and since the younger one likes me to rub its back and tickle its tummy, it kept lying by me and snoozed while I rubbed it, the older one would just bark its head off in annoyance. Not that I don't like the older one but it won't even let me touch it. So too bad. Finally my Dad saw how bored I was and offered to get me back home. So my all of us but my Mum who was playing mahjong left. Thank goodness. You have no idea how much I dread the lunar new year.

Argh, my darn WoW time expired before I got to get the annual Moonglade lvl 60 Lunar Festival quest in WoW. Damn it. Oh boy, I am suffering from a SEVERE case of WWS [WoW Withdrawal Symptom]. (Don't bother trying to steal the image, I have huge watermarks all over. Boy am I sick of art thieves.)



Ciao.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


Evilness diffuses.
|| Time: 09:29 a.m. || Date: Wednesday, January 30, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Why does time fly so? Like a fleeting grace on my lips, leaving nothing more than a sweet lingering taste, and an unsatisfiable desire for more. As much as inspiration being my one night stand, time is my wistful lover. He just slides down beside me when he feels like it; a gentle caress; and he takes his leave. I am rooted painful to the ground of reality, without nothing more in my power than gaze longingly at his fading form, wishing for his return. Man, some lovestruck teen I am. With time and inspiration taking up the bulk of my love life, I doubt I have any time for dating left. Oh well, time and inspiration did devour my heart whole. =P

Don't ask me what's up with all these metaphors. I just feel like writing again. I am having a bitch of a writer's block recently, and it is draining to even try to formulate cogent thoughts and sentences for something as basic and mundane might I add as a GP practice. Speaking of GP, it has got to be the most BORING, TECHNICAL, RIGID language based subject ever. Sure it is important to learn how to write arguementative or expository texts (and to a smaller extent reflective text types), but form is nothing without the essence of language! How can one write or craft a proper essay without appreciating and understanding the language? It is like asking you to drive a car without a driving licence. God. And my teacher looks down upon the 'lowly' form of narratives. I was trying my best not to just jump out of my seat, stomp out in front of her, shake my finger at her like I am wielding a dagger and glare accusingly into her face while seething with anger over the insult. NARRATIVES TAKE JUST AS MUCH SKILL AS OTHER TEXT TYPES TO COMPOSE! If you meanjust doodling on a piece of paper about Mary's adventure in the oh-so-happy-and-innocent Lala Land, fine, I don't really care about such stuff. But do you know how much time and effort is placed into a story for it to be as successful as it is? All the sweat and blood along with immense loss of sleep and perhaps even tearing of one's precious locks is tossed into the cauldron before such a powerful spell is weaved! I am still fuming over her comment. One more reason for me to drop GP and take up KI. Yay me.

There is yet another hella irritating flu bug going around HC and it is killing me. I caught it like more than a week ago and the fever kept coming back, like 3 times including yesterday. And I am so tired always as well as dizzy, or coughing my lungs out, or sneezing my brains off argh. Thank god there were only 2 lessons today so I managed to have enough time to actually catch my breath and rest or so. Went home at around 2. Was totally wiped since it was my mum's birthday the day before and thanks to the dinner, came back at 10+ and I still had incompleted homework for GP. Sigh. So stayed till 11+ to finish it and thus my dead-ness today. So lay on the bed as I chatted on the phone for a while before knocking out. And I had facial later today so yea. Was woken up rudely by my mum as it was 30mins to my appointment time. Hurriedly rushed a comb through my tangled strands of hair, grabbed my outfit from the night before and rushed out like the wind. It was extra painful today since number one, it's been over 2 weeks since I've last had facial. Number 2, I am not feeling well. Number 3, a lot of pimples and blackheads erupted from lack of sleep and stress. It was horrible since I was like trying my hardest not to cough during the entire procedure. After my bath, I am going to the doctor again since medicine didn't work and like it's getting worse. Not to mention the crazy flu cases erupting around the island. My poor scratchy throat... And my voice is hella hoarse. And I can barely breathe through my clogged nose.

In a way it was my fault. We had STJ (seniors TORTURE juniors session) on Saturday at Marina Square. Rushed from piano so wasn't looking my best and all, not to mention my poor fingers were aching from all the finger practices. Arrived 5 minutes before the meeting time and surprisingly found less than 25% of the entire group there (seniors + juniors). So waited for the rest in segregated groups (Junior girls, junior guys, senior girls and senior guys -- Ah, gender borders.) before walking to Sakae Sushi in Marina Square. Found out that the lit people just had an outing and some were at Raffles City (I just left the place when I recieved the sms) but sadly couldn't meet up with them. So like there were like 6 tables reserved for us, of 6 people per table. So we like took the entire middle section of the place! =D Wanted to sit down with the other girls (Yongji and Liu Pei) but since the seniors wanted more interaction time with the juniors, we split up. Sat down at one of the middle tables with Liang Zhen and there were already 2 girl seniors there, Pei Yi and Juliana and waited for more people to join the table. In the end, 3 guys joined our table since there weren't any other free spaces available. -_-||| So Liang Yi sat next to me, with Jun Jie at the 'head'/breath of the table and Kang Wee next to Jun Jie at the other side of the table next to Liang Zhen. Man that was a mouthful. To make things easier, refer to the diagrams below done by your's truly.


So took us forever to warm up and decide on what to order. By then, like almost all the other tables were already starting on their food or anticipating their orders. So we settled for a big party set first and just sat and chatted and all. The seniors are really nice! =D Except for the girls being a little quiet, and Liang Zhen unable to let go of her phone, it was cool. Liang Yi's virgin experience of eating sushi too! So being the evil people we are, we made him eat the raw ones and the weirdest looking ones! The expression on his face was just PRICELESS I tell you. When there was just one icky looking one left, Jun Jie and Kang Wee decided that since he hasn't eaten sushi before, he needs to be more adventurous and try since the rest of us have already tried it before. Since his cup was empty, he insisted on getting water before downing it, only to find it quite ok haha! (the other sashimi beside the salmon one was the most disgusting, and Liang Yi's expression for that was more than priceless I tell you!) So we just chatted on and on, the seniors sharing stories with us about their class, juciy bits of information leaked and such. Since we were done with our platter, and still not feeling shuang, (it was my only proper meal of the day by the way), the seniors ordered SAKE~! I was like yay! Since my dad doesn't like it, I never get a chance to order it. With so many people at our table, why not try a tinsy weensy bit? Surprisingly, no one asked for our ages so we just got the sake. Each of us took a little and yeap. It was surprisingly sweet, even better than champagne! =DDDD Hope I can drink more soon! (That was also the main reason as to why my sore throat is in this state now. Alcohol burns the thorat. And I didn't know it would aggravate it that much!) And we found out that poor Liang Yi is an alcoholic! *le gasp~!* He was distilling methanol to ethanol and apparently it wasn't distilled properly, so he got methanol poisioning and was unable to go to school for a week! HAHAHAHAH! *evilness*


We turned and saw Nathaniel's table trying to balance a Coke can at it's side and we were like O_o. God, the guys in our class are scary man. So the guy seniors decided to try it too, and our cup could stand on its side for quite a while! All it needs is some water in it to balance it off. Darn H3 physics students. Oh well, makes a good party trick doesn't it!

Since we were not full yet, and we took like an hour to decide what else we wanted to order (we were tempted to order sashimi, but decided against it to save Liang Yi from further torture) and we saw the cute Kiddy sets! It wasn't a lot, which was just what we wanted, and well cheaper too. So we asked for it and the manager didn't allow it! T_T So we had to order a normal and more expensive small set, but had it placed in the kiddy set plate! =D So the other tables were like O_O. And the best part was it not only looked cute, the sushi on it was pretty neutral to all of us too! =DDDD Ha! My table pwned~!

While we were eating and such, Pei Yi got bored and decided to put her home econs skills to test. So she took her cup and added in a few slices of ginger, with the sauce too. Then she poured in a LOT of soy sauce and added a great dallop of wasabi. I was like O_O. She even dropped a few pieces of sushi in it! And surprisingly, it smelt a little like nuts.... So we made Kang Wee try it and his reaction was, "Salty.". -_-||| Not exactly what we had in mind so we continued adding more wasabi and even hot water so that it would become warm tea. We had a few drops of sake left so in that went too. And this time Justin came along. So being the evil seniors they are, they asked him to drink a mini tea cup of it~! And what was even more astounding was that he DID gulp it and his final expression was rather nonchalant. -_-||| So not fun. Oh well, he downs all sorts of weird drinks people give him anyway. (Wait till I give him the mix we made in Sec 2 GC party!)

Of course after food, it was time for games. While my table was still finishing the platter, suddenly a senior from the table next to us called me. (Yong Ji's table) Apparently he had to do a forfeit. And I was saboed to be his 'victim'. Guess what? Yong Ji was the mastermind behind the entire plan! So much for her being my tedddy bear 2. She is evil too! T_T Apparently the senior was supposed to go "I am hot, mind unbuttoning a button for me?" to me, and poor me was really supposed to unbutton a button of his shirt for him. I mean it would be ok if there weren't cameras and everyone else staring but yea. The entire gang just turned to us with their cameras and just stared and waited. X_X So after like 3 minutes of dragging, I hurriedly did it and rushed back to my seat. God, so many pictures were taken even though it took less than 5 seconds. -_-||| I am going to get Yong Ji back for it! T_T Bernice, Dawn, Liang Zhen and Rachel were there too! Why me? T_T I am so going to get her back.

So at my table, we wanted to play truth or dare but since the airplane wouldn't spin, we resorted to guessing the number. Another senior joined us (the crazy evil tracker), and he happily set the number to avoid forfeit while being evil and laughing at other's misfortune. So poor Liang Zhen got it first. She was supposed to stand at the entrance of the store and shout, "I am kawaii!" while doing an 'act-cute' pose. She really did it and we videoed it down! *evil*. At least hers wasn't as bad as mine! T_T So back to the other round, and this time, the evil tracker senior got it! We made him do an act cool pose and walk slowly down the aisle of the other side of restaurant filled with outsiders. Whahahaha. It wasn't embarassing or what but he was such a spoilt sport and didin't want to do it properly! At least I got a video of it for revenge of taking photos of my 'forfeit' =D!

So yada yada chatted for a while more before deciding to leave for esplanade. But that is for the next post as I am wiped now. I need my beauty sleep or I'll never recover at this rate. So in the next post, more about the gathering I guess!

Ciao.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


A dark void resides within, an emotional blackhole
|| Time: 11:10 p.m. || Date: Sunday, January 13, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ Yet another day has passed, and yours truly hasn't accomplished anything worth mentioning (besides her futile attempt at Math tutorials). Sigh, I don't know. I just feel... Really... Weird in a way. I haven't felt this way in ages. It's like something is bugging me from within, an uncomfortable squirmy feeling just nagging to get out. And worse, I have no idea why I am feeling this way. Perhaps it's cause of all the bonding activities which took place during the duration of the past 2 weeks, causing my emotions to enter the stage of a severe overload/overusuage. I haven't felt bonded since... I don't know, I don't seem to remember it. Most of my 'bonds' came rather subtely, like a silent whisper in the wind. But for the past few weeks, it was more or less a hurricane whooshing by. Sigh. I am mentally and emotionally drained.

I just feel... Empty. Hollow. Jumbled. Muddled. Confused. Weird. Even a little mellow. I just wish sometimes I can just be a little more unfeeling. Turn my heart into a stone, my emotions into it's cold casing. Without emotions, life would be less complicated, complex. Without emotions, I wouldn't have to worry about why I am feeling this way. Without emotions, I can stop worrying about the world around me and myself. Without emotions, life would be a lot less colourful. Sigh. I just want this feeling to be gone. Give me my old shell back. Let me return to my solace, let me hide in my dusty ol' corner with my thoughts, let me be my anti-social couldn't-care-less self again. Stop this feeling please.

I am not in a mood to go all jumpy and hyper, yet something at the back of my head keeps pushing me to type out this post. Langauge to me now is forced, a foriegn being, a stranger. I miss my best friend, please come back to me. My thoughts are fragmented. I can't even express myself coherently now. This is pathetic. Why do I even try sometimes. I am just another inferior elitist wannabe. Ah, if only I was given the chance to do as I please, I would drown myself in my old writings.

Woke up late, groggy and with a horrible headache. Dragged myself from under the covers of my comfy bed and onto the hard tiles of my bedroom floor. It was closing 10am, and I had an outing to go to at 12pm. Great. Still I needed sometime to eat, so grabbed a bite at around 10.30am and hopped onto WoW for a while to check out my auctions as well as to train my noob's alchemy. Managed to level it up high enough to make water breathing potions (finally), but found out I didn't lack the herbs, but rather the darn fishes needed. And I was too lazy to go fish; I needed 600g for my epic mount sigh. I still needed a complete wardrobe revamp for my current main. Oh boy. I only have 2 weeks left, there was no way I could even get a complete new outfit by then.

Feeling lethargic, took a quick shower and realised it was already noon. Feeling anything but hungry, called to change my meeting time with the rest to 1pm. Plopped back down in front of the laptop with my hairdryer, I stared at the game, not wishing to move. Taking my time, I collected the items I needed for the outing, checked the amount of money I had left, and waited for my hair to dry before retying it up. It was sunny for once, so I brought my sunglasses along in case the swelling from the day before came back and hopped in a cab to Westmall. Surprisingly, I felt a tad more energised as it cruised lazily along the early weekend roads, perhaps it wouldn't be too bad afterall.

I seem to be sighing a lot. It's just me, I was pretty happy yesterday. Was really looking forward to bowling though, since it was 1.5 years since I've bowled a proper game. And my bro's scores just keep getting better. And mine, worse. It is embarassing to see your younger brother hit 200+ for each game while I am struggling at the low 100+. -_-||| Anyway, met up with most of the OG at the food court. Felt quite 'extra' in a way since I wasn't eating, and still I took a seat. -_-||| Was rather anti-social during the lunch since I was smsing away. I don't know, I just felt that I couldn't converse with anyone during at period of time. *shrugs* Gave me time to decide on what to do for a certain TOOT anyway.

Finished lunch, we on to meet others who were coming and all before heading to the CSC at Bukit Batok. Walked there, not too far from Westmall. Wasn't too high yet, so we just chatted while we walked, with some jokes here and there. It was such a warm day and there was a pool there. I was so tempted to just jump in and do some laps to cool off. Seriously, cool water pwns aircon on a warm day. And some of my OG mates decided they should push poor ol' moi into the pool. Right. *coughTGcough* (non OG related joke) We squeezed into a lift and went to the bowling area. Found that there weren't enough lanes free so we had to wait. While waiting, we just sat in a circle, chatted for a while before deciding to play gei wo tempo ready go. I just recieved an sms about a certain person, so I excused myself to make a few calls. Namely to a Zeenana to settle some 'stuff'. Chatted till my OG wanted to take group photos so I rushed back in. Hung up since the lanes were going to be free and we continued chatting, standing around, and even singing.

Finally the lanes were open so we went to pay up and get the shoes and all. I almost forgot to bring my socks, thank god my bro reminded me. X_X Went to get the bowling balls while we split into 2 teams. One team consisting of mainly guys and the other with one more person (aka extra ol' me) was predominantly girls. Most of us took 8 pound balls since 6 was just... Pathetic and control was hard. There were 2 9 pound balls, a 10 pounds and 2 11pounds there too. So in other words, the rack machine thingum was filled with our balls. Clare went first and man, she kept getting strikes and spares. And she was like, she didn't know how to bowl! Man! It was hella cool. It was interesting to see other people's bowling styles and techniques though. I took the 8 pounds since it was too long since I've bowled and I doubt my control is as good. Did horribly for the first few shots but hehe, first game = warm up game!

Mainly we just took turns tossing/rolling/throwing the balls, cheered for one another and more chatting. I really enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere as no one bothered how well they were playing, but more of focusing on whether they had fun. This was unlike my other bowling outings, during which everyone was really competitive and trying to break the highscore charts. Some had to leave halfway during the game for various reasons but we still had fun and all. Managed to regain control of the ball after the 3rd try so my score wasn't too bad I guess. My bro was teasing me at home, asking me how many strikes and spares I had zzz... There was an error with the scoreboard so for my side, the game was cut off after the 3rd person's 8th roll. It was ok since we had one more set of 10 rolls for the missing person's slot during which we just rotated and bowled. 'i got a spare surprise surprise! =D At least my bro would not be able to jeer at me for that.

The guys were like doing weird bowling styles, like the carry/roll thingum which ends up in a sharp hook via the left. I was really surprised since usually only pros can do it and a certain Jethro could hook on almost every turn. I am still skeptical about whether he knows how to bowl or not. I've been trying to hook my shots since my bro started bowling and have never suceeded. I can't seem to make the ball SPIN, it just ROLLS. Oh well, rolling is easier since all you have to do is throw straight and it's almost a sure hit. It was a lot of fun though!

Chatted while walking to the bus stop where we went our seperate ways. Poor pro-bowler had CT outing after the gathering so he had to rush to orchard. Tsk. Took 66 back to Bukit Timah with Shi Hui and Jon Loong. I drizzled halfway through so at my stop, I had to wait like 2 minutes in the rain for the damn traffic light and dashed back home. Sigh. More good memories, and more confusion. That's life I suppose. Went back to WoW and trained my Pally for a while. Herbed via my main for my alchemist too and helped a certain dodo rogue with her quests before spending the rest of the night on msn and typing out the previous blog post.

As for today, nothing much happened. Just rushed my Math tutorial practices till 5pm since I redid some partial fractions questions a lot of time. I was training my Pally too (upped 3 levels yay) so it wasn't really hardcore rushing of homework. Continued my chatting on msn and random stuff like chatting on the phone with the same dodo rogue for 2 hours. Sigh. My phone bills.

I replied a sms to my kor who is currently suffering in NS now and a realisation suddenly hit me like a meteorite out of the sky. I am getting old. Not the grandma old, but oldER. I can't imagine myself walking along the streets as an adult, still contacting the people I met once a lifetime ago, seeing how much they have changed, and watching them grow as well. I am the kind of person who would just cling onto the past, not wanting to let go for such things, but still, it is inevitable that life must go on. Will we still be the same 5 years down the road? Time is the master of our lives, only it can tell.

Once more, I am not going to get enough sleep for tomorrow's lectures. Good luck to me. The hollow feeling is slowly patched up thanks to a chat with my penpal. You can't hold on to anything forever. If not it will become nothing more than a mere block of ice, trapped in it's glassy depths, cold and lifeless. Only when it melts as you let it go, will the warmth show, and it flows away. If fate wills it, your paths will intertwine yet again, some time in the future, during the lonely walk of life.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\


A twinge of nostalgia lingers...
|| Time: 12:10 a.m. || Date: Sunday, January 13, 2008||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\ I know it's been AGES since I've last blogged, or did anything else besides existing and WoWing, but finally, I am gonna update my stagnated blog. Hurray. I have no idea where I am supposed to start from, since I have the entire orientation to talk about, as well as my oh-so-exciting cyber life in WoW. Maybe I should have blogged weekly or something. Nah, my WoW will take up the entire hour. And one can do A LOT in WoW in an hour, if you are hardcore rushing level or camping AH or farming items like me. Sigh. Why on earth did I even get back to WoW damn! Now I don't even know where to start.

I guess I will start from yesterday.

Orientation, Hwa Chong style. I can't believe that I am actually going to say this but, I am really starting to like Hwa Chong. Hold on a second, no, don't leave your mouths hanging wide open. For the first time in my surprisingly short life, I am feeling a certain attachment to the school. You can say that Hwa Chong did indeed instill this sense of belonging to the family, even with all the bickering and rivalry among the faculties. Unlike the other JCs, our orientation lasted for 2 whole weeks. 2 whole weeks of madness and fun, I have to admit. As your little hermit crab, I am so used to my dusty lil corner in the class that I have forgotten how to mix with others. Those who have just met me probably find that hard to believe most of the time since I usually can't keep my mouth shut. Anyway, we were sorted into our orientation groups till this Tuesday, during which we were supposed to be resorted into our CTs aka classes. So yadayada, I was intimidated by all the guys during my first few days, but now, it just seems rather normal to me. Thank god for my ability of adaptation.

So we had OG games till then and CT bonding activities till yesterday. It was the last day of orientation, which also held the anticipated Wargames. So preperation time and briefing ensued. The video they made of it made it seem like yet another battleground from WoW, with Artemis as the Alliance, Ares as the Hordes, Athena as the Friendly party, and Apollo as the Neutral party. How nice. And with our target being the FLAGS, it made it seem like AV. I was itching to go on offensive yet again. I mean I am a mage afterall, dps. I do not D unless it is really needed. Although I can do both well, kinda. Ok, anyway so the briefing got me itching to 'kill' the 'enemies', and I was dying to pelt certain people with water bombs. The preperation by faculties was HILARIOUS. Our fac heads did a strategy plan in 4 LONG minutes (quoted) and since we are the Goddess of Warcraft (LE GASP! HINT HINT.), it wouldn't be a problem for us at all. Guess what? Our plan was to allie with Neutral, and go on O against Ally, and just ignore Hordes. How nice. Oh and to get laughed at and ignored so we win. How glamourous.

Here is a map done by yours truly of the battleground. The thicker lines are the D lines, at least from what I can see.


So girls were to be in the D lines, and do body rolls when guys come. How nice. I was thinking along the lines of beating guys up, but oh well, let's stick to the plan for a while. Took my position in the D line next to Neutral and guess what? I saw my cousin getting into O position just opposite of me in Neutral. What luck. Since Neutral and Friendly are having a truce, we started going O on Ally. Boy did their D crumble. Their girls were like screaming. Ha! So I got bored and all so I went on O too after 15 minutes. Had to stop this charging bulldozer of a dude from entering the front D line of our area. boy, he shoved me down hard and like cause a strap of my shoe to come off. O_o. I was hell pissed. Little did I know all I had to do was shove back, and he was down. -_-||| Boring. So went into Ally, hit their flag once, the other missed oh well, and went back to attacking the Allies who came over. Went back to D for a while and prevented more dudes from coming in. Bored again so I went to O. And this time, a dude tried to squirm through the side. So we grabbed his shirt and he rammed into my stomach. -_- A chain reaction of giddiness and nausea started. I hecked it first and once more with the help of the others pulling him back, rammed him down using a side tackle. Fun man! I ought to join the rugby team or something. I mean hello, you hit me, you get hit. Simple as that. Went back to D for the rest of the game since I wasn't feeling too well and continued blocking the dudes. It was fun man. And if a guy shoves a girl or shove the girls down, he will get called out. Wicked. My OGL Kangjie was in charge of my side of D so it was even better =D. Didn't go into the starch pool since I was wearing contacts (That is where you go to earn goodies like better bats and more water bombs for your fac). Saw two of my OG mates in other FACTIONS in O on our side so just the normal shouting and all for them to go away haha. It was fun though! I mean how often do you get an excuse to ram guys down. -_-||| I mean girls aren't always the 'fragile' ones you know. Or maybe it's just me.

So during the last 15 minutes, we totally backstabbed Neutral since their flag was like dry, and all the other 3 factions ran in and pelted them. Their D totally crumbled under the sheer force of the 3 factions' O! Managed to do my part in wetting their flag, so I am rather pleased with myself. Didn't waste much on pelting others. In fact, I didn't even pelt the players. Most people would rather burst the water balloons than to stop the people from entering, which I think made a lot more sense than just shoving them out of your area. In the end, our flag was the dryest since everyone ignored us and pelted Neutral instead. Surprise surprise, the underdog wins yet again! (We won the year before since no O proceeded to hit Friendly). I was feeling really horrible so I managed to wait the cheering and all out and ran to my CTL Darrel who brought me to the office yet again to get my OOS form. (2nd time in 2 weeks wow!) Met Kangjie on the way and haha I felt so pathetic. -_- I mean everyone else was ok after wargames and I was there asking for the OOS form.

Got the form, got my stuff, and proceeded to leave school. Guess what, met my OG just at the corridor leading to the gate. So waited for a while to get pictures taken, although I looked completely horrible and unglamourous, before hitching a ride on a cab home. It was noon then. Rushed to the bath to rinse off and stayed there for like 45 minutes before getting out, took my medication, rested for an hour and a half before napping till 4pm. Ate a little and took my medication once more before getting a proper shower and got ready to go back to school. So I missed the fac judging of the performances and flags but oh well, at least I felt so much better.

Repacked my bag and took a bus back to school since there were no cabs in sight during my 10 minutes wait. Was supposed to meet my CT at Coro but I had a swollen eye so I needed to make the swelling and redness disappear before I go out. Waited at the CT bench for them to come back and guess what? I started to rain. Hurray. Our campfire, had to take place in the hall. How nice. So feeling rather cheated, went upstairs with the CT mates who came back earlier and found a nice spot at the back of the hall with our faculty. Our CT rep helped me get a take away dinner from Coro so I wouldn't starve, which I ate in the hall secretly. Haha. Chicken rice hmmm... 2 bands came up and played some songs while the council had to shift everything from the Central Plaza to the hall. They weren't bad but I wouldn't say they were good too.

So the program started and the winning teams for flag and performance of each faculty presented their items in order of Ally, Friendly, Hordes and Neutral. Of course after the flag and performance for each fac, came the highly anticipated and well recieved fac dances! Ally's was not bad, but a little too cliche for my taste, ours could be harder and more elaborate, Horde's had too much cheering and not too much emphasis on actions, and Neutral's music was horrible. Sigh. Damn, were the Hordes bonded. Just like in WoW. Although I think we were better than last year but the fac com lacked the spark to make us feel proud to be an Athenian. Speaking of which, I plan to redesign the entire web layout for Friendly. The current one is like... I shan't even comment. We better not come in 4th this year, I will not stand for it. One way or another, we better do better in drama feste.

In the end, we got 4th for flag and 2nd for performance overall which is ok I think since we won the wargames. Neutral didn't get first for anything yet, so we better make us of the opportunity to push ourselves ahead. The council presented their dance item to us and since there was a miraculous change in weather, we went back down to the Central Plaza for the 'fun' part of campfire. Rushing down, I was looking for a bin to toss the food box away and a second later, I lost my CT mates! So I just stood there watching someone drop a flamming 'something' from above to the pile of sticks, thus creating our fire! The head of orientation then took a stick lighted with the fire and lit up a structure consisting of a person running and the word 'Jumpstart' on top. It was a special moment for HC I guess since some seniors were watching from above, the J1s were gazing intently as the fire consumed the structure, giving off a brilliant glow which symbolised the spirit of HC as well as the warmth in which we all shared. Oh god, that was just cheesy.

Recieved a call from my OG mate to meet up but I was kinda stuck in the middle so I decided to find my CT mates to tell them first. Finally found one but she was alone so I decided to accompany her and find the rest first. After quite a fair bit of searching, we found the rest of the NY girls and decided to stand together and sing. Just then, I saw my OG line run up and I was like O_O, is that the OG line? So on it I hopped, after telling my CT of course and we stood together singing for the rest of the songs. It felt really great since it's like we were all seperated and still we were bonded as an OG and all. So in a circle we stood, huddled and singing in our hoarse voices (after cheering) together, just enjoying the moment. Usually I feel a little detach to the OG since I am not the kind who would just jump around and go on a high unless I really feel comfortable. Surprisingly, it came easy to me that night. Perhaps it was the atmosphere, or the fact it was the last day of orientation, or maybe even because I actually miss my OG. So we sang all the songs and yada yada. Then came the mass dance session. So paired up and we were like, oh crap, I totally forgot the steps for the dances (besides outer hand inner hand and left jerk right jerk of wild wild west). Still, we just followed the projections on the two walls enclosing the fire and dances and just danced the night away. We didn't really care if we did the steps correctly or if we couldn't dance, we just had a bucket load of fun goofing around and just enjoying ourselves. I can't remember when was the last time I actually did that. No matter how much I let loose, I was still a little self conscious. But not that night. We were estatic even after the dances ended and were high-fiving around and cheering and joking at one another's moves... It was hella fun. Ok great, my mastery of language is going down the drain again. Or perhaps it's because I am dead tired from yesterday and earlier today.

After a few more songs and lot more joy and laughter, our orientation came to an end. It didn't really strike me then since I was on an ultra high or something, but now as I write about it once more, a wave of nostalgia engulfs me. Sigh. Why do all good things come to an end? And why does the heart find it so hard to let the better moments go? It is like holding onto grains of sand. Today it will be firmly clasped in your hands. But as time goes by, it seeps through them silently, until barely anything remains, nothing more than a ghost in the whispering winds.

Cheered a few more times as an OG, and since most of us are still rather high in a way, we cheered for our one and only OGL and Kangjie did indeed join us for phototaking session. More nostalgia and reluctance as we silently held onto the bonds forged over time, even as we moved our seperate ways. Even though we might not be an OG anymore, or even though things will never be the same as before, we can continue to hold onto the ties we have, not severing them, making sure that they do not come undone, we will still be there for one another as improbable as that may seem. School will start, our bonds will be tested. If we do indeed treasure them, we will never let go. Let time be the test for us, let it deem us worthy or otherwise to claim ourselves as true friends. For only time will tell the truth, even the hearth decieves sometimes. To let ourselves relive the moments once more, the most we can do is look into the pictures taken. Frozen in time, a pathetic attempt to forever lock the memories away, a fail-proof method of keeping them in your heart forever more. To me, pictures do no justice to the moments we had once shared. They do nothing more than invoke your memories, in which the true feel and love reside in. The static smiles, the stiff postures in the pictures are just a mere remainder that at a certain period of your life, you've experienced something unforgettable.

After the campfire ended, my CT had a senior and junior session at KAP so there we went. How pathetic was that, 4 girls, 3 guys. How nice. Only a few seniors were there too but still, what sort of a CT will only have 7 people attending? Anyway, went there, found the seniors sitting at the walkway just north from the smoker's corner. We went in to get stuff first, me getting an apple pie and a cup of coffee and went back to chat with the seniors. It was more or less just general stuff with a little teasing here and there and too much talking from yours truly. I can't help if I am on a high after my OG bonding! So we had a very unsuccessful round of truth or dare and more chatting... Until like 11.40pm (we left school at around 10.45? Not sure...) during which more people started to leave. So called our parents and all and continued chatting while waiting for them. Ended up with 3 girls and 1 guy left, me included. So another round of pathetic attempt of conversing with the opposite gender before I had to go. Sigh, I do hope this situation will improve as time goes by.

Went home, changed up, washed up, rushed to WoW. Leveled my alchemy noob to a high enough level to advance her skill level before hitting the sack. I was wiped.

Ahhh. Great, no space to blog about today's outing. I'll leave it for tomorrow then. It's not like me to get this... Attached to any group other than TG so far. I am rather surprised myself. And it's not me to write such cheesy things in a public domain too. Please tell me this is not the doings of HC... Sigh. Either that or I am losing my hermitcrab-ness.

I am dead tired. Till my body recharges and the sky a hue of light blue.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
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