[[.It's her solace; it's her solitude. ++



Embrace the holidays.
|| Time: 01:12 a.m. || Date: Thursday, November 1, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ Ahhh! Finally, the TRUE smell of freedom! Yes, the high chinese O level exams are finally OVER. It's now all play no study for me! Bye high school! Not gonna miss you! Much at least. *shrugs* It's probably one of my 'it hasn't sunk in that you've graduated' moods since my mind for once is really as close to blank as it can be. It is just laden with god-knows-what and it is so clouded with... Laziness? Fatigue? I don't know. I can't even tell the difference now. Took me forever to get off my butt and to blogging. >_< I really hope that I can get my A1 for HCL. If all goes well, I SHOULD be able to. T_T Wish me luck? *prays*

Whaaa. The main reason as to why I haven't been blogging is really quite simple. Yours truly had been WoWing for the past 10 days. Nonstop. Till 3am. Each day. (except for yesterday and the day before due to Chinese) Shiera is my character's name, in Barthilas server. As usual, a PRIEST. -_-||| I seem to have this thing about healing. I love soloing, yet I am too reliant on healing to make myself a rogue (which is actually the class I am completely gaga over). Or rather it's because Jia and Fausty have finally decided to WoW with me for the 10 day trial period. So I needed to heal them before they start dying all over the place thanks to them arggoing practically everything in their way when they first started. ^^ (exaggeration, but not too far off >:B)

So yada yada managed to rush till level 18 2 days ago but hallelujah, my trial's up. I didn't even hit 20 ZZZZ. Which is so embarassing, since I played the game before. ZZZ If not for the past 2 days, I would have hit the cap level for trial period. Damn, hell embarassing. And on the website it said I still had like 1 day of play time. Ewwww. This sucks. Oh well, I just want my main back. *cries for main* I want Shadowgal back!!!! My darling acccccccount. And my sub-main rogueeeee! T_T I am sadddddd. Ahh, it was Halloween Event (couldn't kill the headless horsedude since too low level duh) so we got to trick or treat at the inns by speaking to the innkeeper. You either get treats or a costume or get transformed (temporarily thank god). I've gotten all 3 and well, here are some screenshots in-game. Will post more from my laptop tomorrow!

Click on image for full view in a new window. Sorry for the watermark, as Photoshop CS doesn't read .tga files, only CS3 does. I had to use another program...


Ahh, I've just taken a nice long nap since it took me forever to finish my chinese revision the night before. And it doesn't help with my parents making a horrible racket in the middle of the night about the neighbours upstairs stomping or banging on the floor (again). I heard it too but heck, I have a damn exam the next day, it's not worth my time. Anyway I didn't sleep well and neither did my brother. Damn. T_T I just hope I can do well.

It's so embarassing don't you think? It finally sank into me that it would be the last time I am taking a chinese exam. My standard of chinese can barely rival that of primary schoolers and to make things worse, I had thought of it as well, a 2nd language, not my 1st. But I am a Chinese, and I can't even utilise and manipulate my mother tongue efficiently. What sort of a Chinese am I? It is plain embarassing. I owe my current level of chinese to my own laziness and ignorance. If I had listened to my tutor, I will probably be able to write and speak 300% more efficiently at least than what I can do now. Argh. It's never too late. The language is still fresh, rather, in me. It's either I take this last chance to improve myself, or I can stagnate for the rest of my life.

Well, a lot of stuff happened actually. First of, my rants. I am going to Silicon Valley for my EOYs, and so we had meetings and stuff like that. Since I am extending my trip, I had to take care of a lot more admin stuff than the rest. Since communication between that teacher and my dad was just plain horrible, and not to mention they used me as a middle person WITHOUT TELLING ME, a lot of things were delayed or conveyed wrongly. During the last meeting last week, I had forgotten my stuff and had to go home to get them. Then I was held up by home matters so I ended up being 20 minutes late. Guess what? The door was locked and when I knocked, another teacher came and was like "Mr Yam keeps telling me that you are late for everything." I was like super surprised. Since when the hell was I late? That was the first time? I resisted the urge to go WTF?! right in front of her face and pretended to meekly apologise. Damn.

In the first place, I handed in all my forms on time. In fact, I was even the FIRST to hand in one of the forms and the FIRST to collect it. As for the other form, because I didn't have any exams on Monday, I couldn't hand it in, so I asked my classmate to help me hand in instead. As for the admin matters, it's not my damn fault if you can't send a coherent email to my dad and come to a compromise. And even when you want to me to pass him a message, please tell me. Since my computer can't access IVLE at times, I had totally no idea that you can access the email from the main school website, don't blame me! I did even show you the proof! You didn't even tell my dad to tell me until like the day itself. Hell, I am frikking pissed. Except for Miss Ang who actually spoke to me in a much less discriminatory manner, I am gonna hate the rest of the teachers.

Today when my mum was picking me from school, we bumped into two inconsiderate drivers. One of them cut into my mum's lane and insisted that she drive faster. Hello, number one, my mum had the 'new driver' plate, number two, my mum just made a turn, you don't expect her to zoom off immediately. He kept horning even though my mum switched lanes. WTF? The car number plate is SFM1222E. Old mercedes C class trying to run on the road. Nice. -_-||| If you see the car, please help me show the face or the finger or whatsoever. My mum and I didn't get a chance to. When we were almost back home, my mum signaled to turn into the road leading to my house, and the car in the next lane gave way. The other car slowed down to, allowing my mum to pass. But then she suddenly sped up like hell fast when my mum was halfway in the lane, almost crashing into our car. I was hell furious. Cause if it had smash into the car, I would have been the one injured. That bit** drove up front and pulled over as if daring or taunting my mum to come down. Hello, I would have gladly smashed her face in if I weren't in that darn pillowcase. My mum was still shaken so she just decided to let it slip. I just hoped that imbecile saw my finger. Car number? SFB5551L. Ahhh, my poor finger is probably tired from all these horrible drivers. *pats finger* I mean when in a car, what else can you do? =D

Enough ranting. Anyway, went out with Fausty last Sunday to do a bit of window shopping and to look for jobs. Went to have pepper lunch first, and the food was not bad! Not too much, not too little. And the pepper salmon rice set thingum was nice! *drools* Fausty took the chicken one instead. So we chatted and all yada yada and went to window shop! Went into Zara, Guess, Esprit, Forever 21, Topshop, Mango etc... Topshop allows us to work in the hols there too! I am so tempted to work there. Imagine all the accessories and clothes!!! *drools even more* Speaking of Topshop, bought a ring and a pair of zipper earrings there. They were soooo cute! =D I couldn't resist.

Since Fausty wanted to get some Singapore-ish stuff for her penpals, we decided to head over to Far East. It was drizzling but we didn't think much of it, so we just continued to walk there. Browse some of the shops akwardly since we don't shop there. Went into the accessory shop and I was like O_O bling bling blang blang... Me want... And when I looked at the prices I was like O_O!!! A lot cheaper than the stores I usually buy from! *immediately bought 3 bracelets* 2 of them were like 3 for don't know how much so Fausty decided to pick one too for her penpal so it would be easier. I bought 2 blackish ones since I don't have bracelets of that colour. Two chain-like bracelets and one nice round big one to go on your upperarm or just below the elbow. Always wanted one but since I want like practically every colour, a cheaper one would be more worth it. Meeeph. I am too lazy to post images up.

Oh well, went to Esprit and splurged a hell lot of money to get a formal white shirt which is nice enough to wear out to shopping, and this awesome winter trenchcoat to insulate me in USA. Yes, my blubber isn't enough. -_-||| Thank god I didn't get the one in Zara or the one in Mango, this one was a lot better. With my two new coats. I doubt I will freeze my behind off! And I am bringing my boots along. -_-|||

Just spoke to my two crazy gaming kors in msn. At first I was hesistating as to whether I should start a convo with them. I mean even though they were on my msn list all these years (1-2 years), I didn't really speak to them unless I was WoWing or Mapling then. Now speaking to them once more feels... Weird. A sense of nostalgia even. I remembered the times during which we would just rush levels in WoW together, with them camping till late with me and Gavin kor complaining how his mum would cut the internet connection just to get him off the comp to sleep and CC kor would be like "It's your bath time isn't it mei?" everytime it hits 5.30pm. >_< They would just bug me on msn nonstop ahhh. It's different now. I guess blame it on me not bothering to keep in contact and initiating the convos. If not we would still be as close friends as before. I miss those days. I hate remembering the past and regretting the things I could/should have done. It's just not the same. Like today's HCL compre, friendship might be a harder to break glass ball, but when left alone and ignored, dust and everything would soon settle. And when left there long enough, there might be permernant stains on it. No matter how hard you try to shine it, it will never be as clear and brilliant as before. If you apply too much force to try make things as they were before, chances are you will break the ball whil trying. Sigh. Regrets.

I am hell amazed. CC kor remembers practically everything! =D But Gavin forgot... T_T Which is sad since we used to be quite close ahhh.... CC kor still cracks me up! ^^ He was asking me about my life and all, and checked on the incidents I told him before, incidents which I even forgot I told him. O_O He remembered which stream I was in, my personal problems, my gaming char names... Damn! O_O I don't even know/remember that much about him! I feel so horrible. T_T Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve to know people like that. He even offered to be my personal priest for my bro's CB account in Maple! And give Fausty/Jia his WoW account. T_T I really don't deserve such a kor sometimes... *sniff* Ahhh I miss the Sec 2 year. The best part of my teenage life was centered there.

I am still glad secondary school life is over. But now I am kinda dreading JC life even more. The environment and culture just isn't me. I feel weird and out of place in the school. Hopefully Taekwando will accept me though. And hopefully it doesn't clash with Fausty's jap club or Astronomy club. Argh.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


Peace not only comes before a storm, but after it too.
|| Time: 09:56 p.m. || Date: Tuesday, October 16, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ Finally, I've gotten back all of my exam results. Better than expected, and for that I am really surprised. Could have been better but oh well, I was lucky enough to even scored what I had attained for this year. IH was the most surprising of them all. I did not expect to even hit a 70 for my paper, and I scored quite a fair bit above that. Still unable to get my A, but oh well, proves that a certain midget had underestimated my ability, or that Lady Luck had decided to help this pathetic girl for one more exam. I just churned out pure crap and viola! I get such grades. I spent a lot more time on my paper the year before and I scored more than 10 marks lower than this year. Who am I to complain?

Math was ok I guess. I had expected myself to score around this range so yea, nothing much to say. Unfortunately, like 99.9% of the people in the level, I could have scored a LOT better if not for my careless mistakes. I almost whammed my head into the pillar just in front of me when I saw the mistakes. Unforgivable. Unacceptable. Oh well, my overall grades for Math could have been higher, not that I am complaining about my score now. I did went to cram for Math during the 4 days 'holiday' ok. I actually went to the library and study, contrary to my previous belief.

Ahhhh. LA was rather well done, Chinese was disappointing, Math was fine, Biology was slightly unexpected (not that I am complaining again), Chemistry was just plain a failure, Physics was the 2nd most surprising (I thought I wouldn't even hit a 60+ with the level of difficulty) and finally IH was completely unexpected. My MSG isn't too great or whatever, but I am rather satisfied with my overall average. If my calculations are correct, HELLO DARLING TABLET! And I would be able to spend all I want in the States! And that is a good thing, since I can buy stuff for you guys for Christmas! :D

Saturday was just plain FUN. Met up with the gang at Parkway Parade (took me more than 30 minutes to reach zzz) and headed over to ECP to celebrate a certain Fausty's birthday. The exposed present (thanks to a helluva major slip-up by yours truly) was given, cakes were presented ahhhh. ^^ It was great with the entire background and scenery. We were sitting at this man-made rocky thingum and we could just feel the wind in our faces, and the salty scent of the sea. Ignoring the noise and commotions generated by others around us, it was cool. So as my punishment, they didn't want to teach me how to cycle. Good choice anyway since I was still cramping up and my rheumatic pains kept coming back since it was going to rain, or rather it drizzled quite a few times.

So Zeen was nice and all to accompany me while the rest rushed off to cycle. We chatted during the 2 hours, laughed, reminisced etc. It started to drizzle so we decided to move into one of the pavillions nearby. At first this family just took an entire stone bench thingum with their foodstuff so we had to wait and all before we were able to sit. Chatted and laughed even more until we thought the rain had stopped. I was hungry then surprisingly, so we walked to the little stores around to look for something to eat. In the end I settled for subway, yum. Terriyaki chicken WITHOUT veggies. My favourite. And I could not hear a word the cashier was saying, I think my sense of hearing had decided to die on me then.

By the time we went back to the pavillion, it was packed. So we settled for the stone benches facing the sea. Nice and quiet spot at first. There was this family beside us with a baby and a cute little dog, and we kept laughing at the little things the dog did. It was so smart! The maid would drag it to the sea and it would just hide. And if it was not able to escape, it was able to walk on its two hind legs as the maid held onto one of its paws! The rest of the gang came back and all but Zeen, Beck and I stayed behind as the rest rushed to the sandy portions to play.

To cut the long story shot, photos were taken, a sand art piece created, a well dug, many weird looks shot our ways from the few maniacs jumping in the sand, burying of feet ahhh... It was fun, really fun =D, we ought to do that more often! When we finally decided to go home, instead, we were distracted by a playground nearby and decided to relive our childhood since we were all pathetic teens who spent their childhood doing assessment books. Played on the slide, bounced here and there, took more unglam/glam shots etc, scared a few kids ahhh. Like that wasn't enough, we went to the playground a block away to play once more. More photos taken, more crazy things... Pictures can be seen in our Facebooks or Karrot's blog. Finally went to this stage-like area with a really climable looking structure. So being the insane people we are, we just dashed there, dropped our bags on the stage and attempted to climb it. ^^ After that, it was home sweet home. Sweet memories.

Sunday. Well, went out once more with another friend of mine to watch Resident Evil. We decided to meet at 3pm at cine since I wasn't feeling too well before that. So managed to reach Cineleisure on time and rushed to the movie area to find my friend. Who knew, when I called him once more, I realised it was cinePLEX, so I had to dash to the MRT station and practically run to Cineplex. By then we missed 15 minutes of the movie thanks to me. Argh. 2nd time that happened to me when I went out with this friend. First time was two years ago watching Mr and Mrs Smith. Another 15 minutes gone. That was at Cineleisure. Argh. I was just sweating like a pig and silently thanking the person who invented the aircon. Went into the cinema (the people there didn't even check our ID for age O_o) and watched the movie.

The movie itself was disappointing. I expected more action and horror, macabre, gore yea. But the portion which made me jump most visibly was guess what? The sharp noise made by the flickering of light bulbs. Wth. -_-||| I more or less expected the rest so yea. The new powers of Alice were just plain cool, and the idea of cloning her was awesome as well. I just hated how there was 0 character development and the director practically killed off a lot of good guys in just a few scenes. Horribly made. The climax or rather the fight scene with the 'boss' of the entire movie lasted barely 5 minutes. Pathetic. I strongly discourage any of you to watch it. As much of a Resident Evil fan I am, this just does injustice to the entire series.

After the movie, hit PS for some shopping. Walked around, went into this card/gift thingum shop which sells materials for art and craft. Cool but a little too expensive for my liking. I prefer to just make such designs by hand. Not worth that kind of money. Went to Spotlight and I bought some beads and trinkets to make more of those little keychains and jewellery. Wanted to go into some clothing stores but I realised that I did not bring my discount cards and coupons. ZZZ. Went into Times to find a book I wanted but typical, they did not have it. So finally into Sasa to get myself new lipgloss but they don't stock that kind anymore. ZZZZZ! Ended up buying 3 new shades of nail polish to try a new cloud design I have in mind and yeap, took a bus for the first time in my life from Orchard to home.

Nothing much on Monday, just more coding and designing of my new web layout for my graphics website. I seriously need to revive it. After changing the layout and adding new pages. ZZZ. Started on it on Friday night and since then, been working till 2-3am each day trying to perfect it. You can see a SS of it here. So far, completed the layout design in general. Added a new page, and finished transferring 3/5 of the entire website. In my Adobe GoLive, not on the web yet. You know how UGLY it would look if it was only half changed? Ew. Spent 26 hours ++ on it so far. ^^ Not the best design but I am still proud of it. Ahhh. Because of my current coding craze, my fanfic is stagnant for an extra week or more. Damn.

Today I was taking a bus home since my Mum's car is back in the workshop, I saw my ex-classmate from Primary school in NJC uniform. I was like O_O. So I was like hmmm? And she turned and we both paused. Then we were like oh heyy! ^^;; Lame I know. She didn't do too well in her PSLE so yea. It's good to know that she had managed to get into NJC though!

Today, my dad came home from Malaysia. Since he was away for only like 2 days or so, I did not expect him to buy anything for me. But he tossed this bag onto my lap after unpacking his luggage. I was like O_o. I opened it and was like WHOA. YAY! I've finally gotten my GUESS bag!!!! *YAY* I've been complaining to him about not having a GUESS bag since a few months ago JOKINGLY and I did not realise that he would actually get me one after getting me more than 3 new bags this year from LeSports already... T_T. I was over the moon! Actually since the moon wasn't out yet, over the clouds. The Sun would have charred me to ashes. Not exactly the design I wanted but the color was nice in general, and the size is just nice for short shopping trips. Not the newest design, since apparently Malaysia tends to be behind Singapore by a season or two for such brands, but me like! Here is a picture of my new bag hehe.


I apologise for the poor lighting, it was taken in a hurry.

Ahhhh. You know, sometimes I think that I don't deserve all these pampering from my parents. I am more or less just another spoilt brat, not so much of a bitch yet. I need an attitude adjustment though. Apparently, I am reverting back to my gangster self. And swearing is INDEED becoming a habit. I need to speak with more tact and diplomacy. So try not to aggravate me, for I might just go ballistic on you.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


Of the 'f' words.
|| Time: 11:41 a.m. || Date: Saturday, October 13, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ -Entry editted-
Melesa is repenting for her sins.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


Tranquility before the apocalypse.
|| Time: 08:53 p.m. || Date: Wednesday, October 10, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ Yes!!!!!!!! EXAMS ARE COMPLETELY OVER! MY EDUCATION IN HIGH SCHOOL IS MORE OR LESS DONE! OVER! YES! Hehe, oh well, I am rather happy to get out of the school, and perhaps get a new life over at HCJC, although why do I have a feeling that it is going to be more or less the same anyway. So yes, the Math paper 2 today. Had more than enough time to finish duh, with and extra 30 minutes to check. And that is after I checked while doing the paper (I checked each question once or twice after I have completed it). The Math teachers are super nice~! Hope my score is super nice too then! *or else* *brings out voodoo dolls of coughcertaincoughteacherscough*

At around 2am two days ago, my left arm, or rather palm at first, started to hurt like hell. It's not the pain-because-you-have-been-at-the-computer-for-at-least-5-hours kind, but rather a tingly pain, equivalent to little needles piercing your hand. And no, no numbness, yet. At first I thought it was due to a cramp from typing too much, so I applied some medication on it and went to do Math, since it requires more activity on the right, rather than the left hand. But who knew, it became worse to the degree of rheumatic pain. Then, I believed it was due to the cold weather or something, and applied even more medication and hit the sack, praying that it would disappear the day after.

Like the situation would be solved that easily. I woke up, and the first thing which registered in my mind was -- PAIN. OUCH. My entire left hand was seriously throbbing. It felt it weighed a ton, and I couldn't even move my fingers without wincing in pain. Damn, it hurt that badly. As some of my rheumatic pains are of that kind of severity, I applied some more medication and decided to wait it tou. Cause mostly, the pain lasts for around an entire day a most. At around noon, I started complaining to my mum. She thought it was rheumatic pain once more, so more medication again. -_-||| But even my FINGERS ached. The sides, not the middle or back. O_o. When my dad came back, he told me to go see my chiropractor today, to get it fixed. I wanted it gone before the exams but ahhhh.... When doing math, sometimes even body aches tend to disappear for a while.

Was supposed to head over to do my hair treatment today, but since I needed to find out what was wrong with my arm, (the aching is now spreaded to my entire arm), I had to cancel it and schedule it tomorrow. Sigh. Maybe my other appointment needs to be rescheduled too. So to the hospital yadayada, and the doctor told me it was probably my nerves. Maybe when I was moving or something, one of the bones pressed against a series of nerves for my arm, causing my entire arm to ache nonstop. Unless the bone is moved away, the aching won't stop. So after some theraphy and cracking, I am feeling better. My hand is still sore and unable to hold heavy stuff, but better than dropping them when you just lift them off the ground!

Went to school today and to 4/6 to fill in the card on Fausty's birthday board. O_o. I couldn't think of what to write or draw so I just drew another piece of cake and randomly filled up the empty space ahhhh!!!! T_T Anyway, when I just finished writing the last letter, Jia was like, Fausty's here!!! And hid the board. X_X I almost didn't finish the card. Phew. Poor Fausty was kept in the dark wahahahahahaha! Sec 4s were the only ones in school that day, actually only the IP sec 4s, and well it felt so intimidating as there were so many teachers, and not even a full cohort of us. We had the exams in the hall, which wasn't too bad since I wasn't trapped in the middle of the hall or something. I was tempted to fall asleep but thank god I checked my work, I found 3 careless mistakes. O_o

After the exams, went back to 4/6 to get ready to give the board to Fausty. And she did come over! Haha! She was worried that we would do something mean to her hehe, although as tempting as it sounds, it didn't really happen. She was so happy when she received it! Lolz! >_< Awww... We were hoping to make you cry from being so touched by the card, and darn, we almost suceeded! Go to a certain HAIRY KARROT's blog to see the pictures!

Couldn't go to orchard with the gang since I had my doctor's appointment. Even so, it was a little too late for me to get back in time for dinner (COUGHiamnotlivinginnewtonnowsniffCOUGH). Karrot called and told me that she and Beck had managed to find the prezzie for Fausty! Not at Marina, nono, it was not even at a mall. They found it in TTSH. *dies* Who would have guessed?! I mean they walked around Marina and couldn't find it, and instead found it at TTSH. -_-||| Unbelievable. I was laughing my head off when I heard that anyway. And a certain 5 year-old kid was whining in the background about her elephant being smaller than the one they bought. -_-||| Sheesh. Anyway you can see the pics of the prezzie on the HAIRY KARROT's blog. ^^

Not much happened today actually. Just more of me slacking, watching tv, napping and such. That is besides going to the doctor's. Oh yea, so sad, my chiropractor is going to so called 'retire'! T_T Another doctor he hired from the States is coming to replace him instead. As in he will still be the boss and all, but he is more of getting someone else to do the 'manual labour'. >_< He is super nice anyway, and hopefully the new doctor will be as nice too. >_< Ahhh, everyone will exit your life at a point of time, but all the doctors who have been taking care of me are still doing so today. Oh well.

Anyway, nothing much I gues. Doomsday tomorrow after barely a day of slack. Sigh. This sucks, my grades are more than screwed.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


Of celebrations, late nights and splurgings.
|| Time: 10:59 a.m. || Date: Monday, October 8, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ Melesa is sleepy, Melesa is tired, Melesa's brain is fried, Melesa's thoughts are like chopped pieces of wires, Melesa needs to revise, Melesa doesn't want to revise. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Damn, 1 more day and it's my last paper! I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. As in, it is awesome to be able to get rid of exams once and for all, but the getting back our results part SUCKS. I know I am going to screw my marks up that's why. I was struggling to drag my carcass out of bed this morning. Took me an hour to get up fully, and 3 people to wake me up. When my dad came in, I was like *hides head under pillow* "Uhnnnnnn go away.... Yea yea I will be up.." and I fell asleep again almost immediately. Then my mum came in. "Don't you want to pick up your jacket?" "Later... Sleeeeeeeeeeep nowwwww..." "Ok, 15 minutes more than." "Yes yes...." *falls asleep again* Half an hour later, my maid came in. "Melesa, your mum asks you to wake up." And she prodded and shook my leg. I had to get up then. T_T

Ahhhh. I spent like 2 hours 37-38minutes chatting with Fausty on the phone last night. I usually sleep at 2am so it's ok, but 3am was not too good an idea. *is falling asleep while typing* Happy Birthday to her! ^^ She is finally sweet sixteen! Ahhhhh, time flies so quickly. We are indeed growing up too slowly, or too quickly, depending on how you look at it. Most of us don't even get a chance to enjoy the fresh scent of youth before we are flung into society, drowning, and attempting to stay afloat. Oh well, I am willing to do what I need to do to get what I want, that is for sure. And I shall start with losing weight, big time.

I went online at around 11pm yesterday, after spending an entire day at orchard. Went to orchard 12 hours before that to have brunch with my classmate, enjoying the xiao long bao in the chinese eatery at Wisma floor 1. Chatted and ate until like 12+ or so and decided to go shopping for a little while. So we walked around, and went into OG to look at some new fragrances. (So many new ones contain rose! I want!!! T_T) She was tempted to buy Channel's newest Coco range, and so we went there to test the scents. Spent almost half an hour there decided and asking questions, and when she had finally made up her mind, we were told that it was out of stock. -_-||| So a reservation was made for the one in Taka and we left. While walking there, she was reconsidering if she should buy it. It was not really her kind of scent but she still wanted it. Then we thought about the new Estee Lauder fragrance and it was better than the Channel one, so she decided not to buy the Channel one. But she was still debating over it after 30 minutes. -_-||| So she called her mum, and her mum was like, don't buy anything yet, wait till we go to Hong Kong, I will smell it for you. -_-

Headed to the library to study and we were lucky enough to get a seat. But after like 30 minutes, a dude came and told us that the library had some activity thingum, and that we had to leave. We were like WTH? Finally, we got our behinds down to studying and they chased us out. -_-||| So we packed up and decided to try coffee bean. Surprise surprise, it was lunch time then and it was PACKED. So we decided to go to Macs. When we went there, I needed to use the ladies so we went out again and tried to find it. Being shopaholics, we 'digressed' and went into other stores like Mango, AX etc before going to the toilet. I wanted this awesome coat from AX but my parents would kill me since I tend to wear my stuff for like less than 5 times before losing interest in them. Ahhhhhh. It isn't worth it but it will look nice in my closet! So back to Macs and we studied, finally.

At Macs, we were studying and all and suddenly this girl, around 18-21 stood up and shouted across the entire place (from KFC opposite of us) "SHUT UP *****!" Being kaypoh Singaporeans, both of us turned. She was kicking up a fuss with her friend who kept gesturing that she was innocent and all. Even her boyfriend couldn't drag her out until she decided to stomp out. So we went back to studying. Like 20 minutes later, another lady shouted "SHUT UP!". O_o This time, it was directly at her kid. O_O. Sheesh. Parents nowadays. This group of teens around 18 there too came and sat next to us. (It was 5 tables in a row, and we took 2) They were apparently not too happy that two muggers were there studying when they have like 8 people and only 3 tables. Oh heck, we were there first, and seriously, there wasn't enough space with our notes and all.

It was around 3pm then, and that is usually Melesa's catching-up-on-last-night's-lost-beauty-sleep time. So I stole my friend's long black to keep myself awake, and she was telling me how being addicted to coffee isn't good for the brain. O_o So I struggled to keep awake, and was successful thanks to the racket the group beside us made. They were like spewing Singlish and laughing really loudly without a care in the world. As in I don't care, as long as you don't disturb those around you. They knew we were studying and still, they continued shouting and all. Chatting is fine, I mean my friend and I chat during our studying time too, but shouting and laughing like maniacs and making rude jokes are not exactly that considerate. Sigh. Singaporeans. So at 5.30pm, we left since I had to meet my parents in Centrepoint at 6.30. Went to Zara to shop since I wanted trenchcoats. The selection there was not bad, and I saw quite a few items I wanted to get. My friend went to try a blouse and a pair of awesome grey faded glitterish jeans. I tried on a coat which can be worn in cold weathers and I was like, heyy! I like this! So I went to call my dad and all and he allowed me to reserve it! I mean hell, its cheap for a coat. Like 40 dollars at least, cheaper than my other coats, and the design rocks. Just then my friend came out of the dressing room and whoa, the jeans were wayyyy too long. O_o, and the blouse was... Translucent. She immediately changed out of them and dumped them on the metal shelf. X_X Yay, at least I bought something! And it is NOT going to be deducted from my money spent in US, since I can wear it TO US! Picking it up in 40 minutes time, perhaps I shall post a pic of it here later.

Edit: Here is the picture!

It looks a little flat here but it is a lot nicer when you wear it. ^^ Warm and toasty too!

Couldn't go CK jeans in Paragon with her since I had to meet my parents and so yea. She was complaining to me how I had 'abandoned' her but hehe, she still bought stuff in the end, although not what she had in mind at first. One day, we have to go out to some posh restaurant and dine out, with our OWN MONEY. Damn, I am looking forward to making big bucks, or die trying. Met up with my parents, went shopping around for a while, back to Mango since the branch there was a lot less messy. Saw another nice dress but I am too short to make it look nice. T_T Oh well, I have 4 dresses, not enough. T_T To US for winterwear baby! Supposed to meet my friend again today at KAP but oh well, I have tuition later so can't make it. And she is dying there with HCI and ACS guys all around, shouting at the top of their lungs without a care in the world. Typical.

So went home, bathed and stoned for a while. Saw Fausty on MSN for one of the rare occasions in which she can stay up late on the internet without having threats thrown at her. O_o So chatted with her, and my penpal who was mean enough to hide herself from me on MSN. I am usually the one hiding ok! T_T Waited with Fausty until midnight to wish her happy birthday BURFDAY. ^^ I was almost killing myself trying to think of what to write on her ecard and how to design it in the first place. Orange would have been too... Cheerful (not that being happy is not good, but the color she radiates to me recently is not really orange), black is just not for the occasion, red is too loud, green is not exactly her mood, brown is just a no-go... So I settled for blue. Ahhh, my graphics designing skills are getting rusty. I can barely decide on the color scheme and find a way to make it look nice and compliment each other ahhhhhh! So I settled for my usual style with a big snowflake in the middle hehe.

So called Fausty and chatted with her. We talked about well... A lot of stuff. I mean we talked about life, the future, school, friends, shopping, insecurities etc. And we just went on and on and on and on, and we laughed quite a fair bit too, not the best thing to do before you go to bed. It was great fun and all seeing that Fausty is a lot happier and excited thanks to us! ^^ Jia and Fausty's friend were having a competition to see who would wish her Happy Birthday first since Fausty's friend beat Jia last year. So it was just hilarious thinking about both of them, handphones in their hands, waiting to sms a certain Fausty haha! XP They were late though. O_o Almost a minutes late haha. And that was according to my computer clock. (My watched said 12.02am and my phone too.) Haha! Jia beat Fausty's friend this time though hehe.

A lot of quotable quotes were mentioned, which I shall not post here, pester the birthday girl for details and such and we laughed ourselves silly. It didn't even feel like 2hours+ had past when we found out it was that late haha. Oh and I seriously need to bring Fausty out shopping. -_-||| Remember the date ok Fausty! Not I will not only kick you this time, but not help you with your clothing dilemma too. ^^ It's nice to chat with friends sometimes, especially if you are this girl who is addicted to solitude. I regret letting go of a lot of stuff, but I am contented just remembering the good times of the past. We all grow apart, it is just how much we grow apart. Even if we don't, we might become better friends, understand one another more, nothing lasts forever.

Life is like a train ride, passing by various stops every so often. No matter how much you like the place, sooner or later the train is going to leave, and you have to be on it. Some people might get on the train with you, but their final destination is never the same as yours. All you can do is wistfully glance back and remember all the fond memories of the places and of the people whom you have met. Perhaps at the last stop, you will be able to see them all again. Perhaps.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


It's her solace; it's her solitude.
|| Time: 12:15 a.m. || Date: Saturday, October 6, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ New layout! Told you all that I needed to do some graphics, and here is one out of the three layouts I am planning to do! Instead of KILLING your dear little eyes by dumping pink pink purple pink pink purple into my layout or something, I decided to try something else instead. Surprise surprise! This pinkie here didn't even use a single pixel of pink or purple in her newest layout! Instead, she worked with colours she would usually avoid -- greenish and brownish colours. I have to say though, it is a lot more pleasing on the eyes. It's been ages since I've looked at backgrounds which are NOT black.

Go me! This layout is CSS based. *le gasp* Yes! CSS. You have no idea how versatile CSS is until you've tried it. I am not sure if any of you remember, but I did a similar layout like this back in Secondary 2, Vandread based. I used html for that and almost tore my hair out trying to get it to work. And now, along with my slightly improved coding skills, I present to you my layout! There is always this huge sense of accomplishment when I look at my completed graphics (be it messed up or a great improvement). That's got to be one of the best things about graphics making. Sitting in front of the computer, staring at your new layout, inwardly smirking to yourself... Ah. One of the best things in life. For me at least.

I know, this layout has got to be one of my simplest layouts ever. I mean usually I spend a solid 4-5 hours on making image maps and another 3-4 hours on coding and recoding. Finally another 2 hours or so to make the miscellaneous complimentary graphics. But this layout, took 5.5 hours in total. Which is like... Less than half the time taken as compared to my normal layouts. I mean how hard can it be to choose an image, make a banner, make a simple background and code a simple linear layout? Choosing at most takes 15 minutes. The banner, being rather small and all, only took like 2 hours or so after endless tweakings and redoing. The background took 15 minutes. -_-||| The coding took the next 2.5 hours or so since I had just coded my LJ layout in CSS as well. The complimentary graphics like the button, avater and pagebreaks took the last 30 minutes. Wow. I still can't believe how simple the layout is.

No elaborate swirls or patterns dangling from the side of the banner, no text overlapping images for a banner which extends to the blogging area, no grunge brushes etc. It is just a background, texturised by a brush by your truly, a little splash of abstract brushes here and there, along with a touch from the geometrics. Ah let's not forget the text as well. Cheesy and such, due to my lack of writing ability, but yea, once more by yours truly. The background is more or less just text and more textures by my brushes. The dot/paint splash/whatchumacallit things are by a set of stars brushes. Thought it was more of petals but oh well.

Why this image? Because I've decided to show another side of myself, not just your anime crazy girl this time. I mean look at my entire history of blog layouts! Besides my pink swirly one, the rest were all anime based! Saiyuki, Beyblade, Vandread, Fruits Basket, Bleach and YGO for my LJ. It's time to get in touch with reality now. This photo is of a sunrise, not sure if you all can tell... I love how the rays were captured and the gradients radiating from the sea towards the sky. The shadow effect gave it a surreal feel and to me, looks like something out of a fantasy book. Thus 'Perpetual Solace'. Everlasting, for eternity. I can just imagine myself in the photo, diving into the rays and the sea, a place in which time does not exist, a hidden sanctuary, my solace, my thoughts free. My escape. I treasure my solitude, and in this place, I can finally cut myself off from the rest of the world, hence my solitude. If it makes sense, hurray. If not, just enjoy the layout before I get another inspiration to do a shocking green with bright orange or sunshine yellow layout and kill your tender eyes.

Oh well, on the bright side, this layout should be compatible with all browsers. I ought to code in CSS more often. I mean it allows you to create layers and manipulate them in ways which html will NEVER allow you too! Besides html for image mapping, I shall try new layouts with CSS! Although iframes are still one of the best functions of coding, CSS is not too far behind now. Java is still out of my league, and I bet it will continue to be unless I take up coding as a subject.

Another late night. Sigh. But it's worth it. Love my new layout. Or rather love my new coding skills. The graphics aren't much oh well. Could have been better. *shrugs*

More about the layout.

"Follow the rays of the Sun, till you reach the land where the sky meets the sea. There you will find your solace, your perpetual solace."
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\


Freedom for a split second before the death bell tolls.
|| Time: 02:36 p.m. || Date: Friday, October 5, 2007||
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\ Inhale! The sweet scent of freedom at long last! Well, almost freedom. Just a 4 days break for me before my FINAL paper -- Math Paper 2! I swear, freedom never smelt this sweet before! My fingers were itching to just surf the net, do graphics, read and write fanfics and whatnot, anything BUT study. It took more than my normal dosage of determination before I was able to sit my lazy behind down and start revision. (Although I only revise AFTER 3, and after 5 minutes of revision, a 30mins-1hr nap, then I am able to continue). Finally! I love my freedom! (Almost freedom to be exact)

Ahhh. My thoughts are anything but coherent. With the exams sapping more than 80% of my brain juices, I can barely think straight (not that I can even without the exams). Speaking of the exams, my sciences are SCREWED. I have NO DAMN IDEA why the hell did I even choose this darn stream in the first place. I know that my right brain is dominant most of the time besides during Math, and my forte lies in the humanities, so why?! Reason being to show my cousins that I can handle the so-called 'toughest' stream. Damn. I was so stupid. I am drowning now just because of that. Chem paper 1 SUCKED, Bio paper 2 is CRAP, Phy on the whole is a GONER. Damn. Thank god for my LA and Maths, (1.5x and 2.0x) to pull my overall grades up. If not, I won't even be able to hit the bare minimum of 65%. Bye bye 75% average, I will miss you. Bloody useless girl you are Melesa. You can't even do well in your last year of secondary school life. Oh fuck. (Yes, I am going to swear a lot today.)

I can't really blame anyone but myself for my grades. I've slacked in the first half of the year, and screwed my SIAs up. I didn't revise properly during the day before the different subjects. I more of less just stoned in front of my computer, trying not to kill myself as I refrained from slacking off. I didn't even manage to get a good night's rest for a a single damn paper. Either I can't sleep, and toss and turn in the stuffy and unbearably warm room (aircon is on, and temperature low), or I wake up at ungodly timings. Ever since the science papers came, signs, omens, whatchumacallits (I perceived them to be) appeared in front of me. For chem, when my dad dropped me off at the bus stop, there was not a single soul in sight. I am not kidding. Not even the sercurity guard. The bus stop was totally EMPTY, no one was on the stairs of the overhead bridge. For a moment, I was stunned. Did I mess my timetable up? And I remembered smsing some of my friends and vice versa about chem questions the night before so it couldn't be. For bio, I woke up and the sky was just bloodshot. As in it's normal for orange skies during dawn, but it was just... I don't know how to describe it, my camera is unable to capture the exact shade of orange-red... Redder than normal. And no wind or birds chirping. Finally as for today, I woke up with a splitting headache and felt as if a cloud was hanging in front of my eyes. I just felt... So... Unenergetic. Well, more than normal. It was like... I was just a floating ghost. Damn.

Forget about exams for now, I DESERVE my break damn it. Time for me to create layouts and do fanfics for half a day for the next 4 days. Ok, the sentence structure seems wrong but oh well, give me some credit, I survived the damned exams. Going to Orchard Library tomorrow and the day after to mug for Math with a classmate of mine, while my Monday is for chinese tuition and Tuesday as a last mugging day for Math. I need to score at least a freaking 80 for Math if I want to even smell my 70% average. Get ready to be skinned by your parents Melesa, and teased and mocked by your relatives during the next new year.

Sometimes I am just tired of trying to be better than everyone else. I was contented just slacking off in lower sec, hence my pathetic grades. Of course, I was told not to lose to my cousins, I am 'smart', I can make it, I can be better than them yadayadayada. Now, I am starting to doubt it. Even after placing so much freaking effort (relative; to lower sec), I won't even hit my 73-75% average. What is the freaking use? I should just stop trying, but the perfectionist in me will never let me. After years of drilling into my head that I must win at all costs, it is hard to just let go. I feel insecure when I do anyway. People tell you that you have a flair for something, and you get an ego boost once in a while and all, which is a good thing for someone who keeps undermining herself at times. But on the other hand, when you look at others, you feel like you are such an idiot. What makes you think that you can be match up to their level? You are nothing more than a mere insect waiting to be stomped on by the REAL elites. Creme de la creme my foot. If you really want to make it in society, being above average is not good enough sadly, you need to be the top 0.5-1% of the society if you really want to be up there. As for people like me, jack of all trades and master of none, there is no place for me in the society. You are just another average human blended in against the white washed walls, working like robots till the day you die.

Don't you just hate reality some times? Maybe that's why I am such a loner. Afterall, in 'Praise of Solitude', I treasure it. Being with myself is probably the only time I can BE myself. My world, my rules. Unfortunately, that is just my overactive imagination playing tricks on me. Wouldn't it be great to just live your life amidst nature, (without insects duh) with nothing else around, just you and your thoughts, no one to restrain you, no one to tell you who or what to be, no one to pressurise you. A small lake by the side, a mini little fence, a garden equivalent to the size of our little Botanics, and a mansion for me to just pretend to be the queen in. For once, I am in control, everyone else can just scram. Serenity.

Sadly, wake up girl, that can never happen. For now, just wait till the Grim Reaper comes for you, for you reap what you sow, and I sowed bug-infested and decomposed seeds.
~Mystickal aka Melesa

~It's her solace; it's her solitude.
//~+*^-||-^*+~\\