Sunday, February 8, 2004
Been a really weird week for me. For starters I realized that I really don't like architecture anymore. Ok well I do still like it, but I'm only really enjoying the design aspect of it, but I'm spending so much of my time worrying about everything but the design aspect of it because of all the technical shit that goes along with it. It doesn't allow for free creativity which is why I'm not really enjoying it anymore. So I think I've made up my mind to go to grad school when I'm done with arch and get a multimedia degree.

The other thing is this week I've realized that I'm starting to develop a crush on someone, the problem is he's down in southern california. And I know he's beginning to feel the same way about me considering the fact that I was talking with him until 4am friday night/saturday morning and againg last night until 6am this morning. Makes me really wish I lived closer to southern california. Sadly stockton is still a good 7 hours away from where he lives so there isn't really a possibility of visiting him and hanging out in real life instead of just online. Make me kinda sad ;_;

I can't wait until spring break. I'll be glad to go back to california again. This whole oregon thing is starting to realy get to me. The dark cloudyness is just depressing the shit out of me and I don't like it. I want the sun back damn it! It's also kinda annoying because I can't take any great multimedia pictures when there isn't any sun. Well I can still get some good ones, but not nearly as good as they could be. Again it makes me sad ;_;

Life sucks sometimes.
05:04 p.m.

Metroid Hunter

Tuesday, February 3, 2004
I haven't stoped blogginer per se Tsua I've just slowed down. Don't really have much to say as of late. Been pretty boring since no one has invited me to any parties since Thanksgiving. The only party I've had in a long time was the one I held for my birthday. And I'm still mad at Paul for not even mentioning Jes's Bday party to me. The superbowl thing would have been fun but I know people forget that I like football.

The annying thing right now is that it feels like ever since Jeromy got mad at me again for dating other people like everyone I know has sided with him and all of a sudden I'm left alone a lot and everyone else is out having fun without me. Fortunately for me I know this isn't true, but it's just starting to get on my nerves that there are all these social gatherings going on that I'm never invited to despite the fact that everyone else I know is. And yes I know that's an overstatement, I'm pointing out how it feels here not how it actually is. I'd hold my own social gathering but I can never think of a good reason to usually. Maybe I'll just hold a movie night or something some random night of the week. Nothing spectacular or long, just popcorn and a movie during a time when people can come over and watch stuff. Hmm... yes I think that will do just nicely. Now all I need is a good movie and a time in which people could actually do something like that.
01:59 p.m.

Metroid Hunter

Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Yeah so I really hate my life right now. I thought things were going fairly well until recently. Some asshole decided to leave me a package with no name and no return address. Based on what the package contained I assumed it was a cryptic message from my ex-boyfriend. Well if you knew all the shit I went through with that you'd understand why I made that assumption. Well things were going ok again, I didn't do anything about the package except talk to a few people about it when last night I got a note from said stranger. Apparently the package wasn't from my ex and this person then proceeded to give me adivce about my life. It was signed only "someone who wants to see you have friends." Well at last count I had a pretty decent number of friends who I hang out with on a regular basis. Well this just pisses me off. I'm sorry but I'm not going to fucking listen to some fucker who won't even fucking identify themselves to me. This combination of items both pisses me off and scares the shit out of me because it means that it's someone who knows me well enough to know whats going on. However I haven't told very many people about this so unless they told others then there's someone else involved that I don't know about. This person obviously knows where I live and knows my last name, although they don't know me well enough to know how to spell it. I don't fucking have time to deal with this, and I'm certainly fucking not going to listen to the advice of some fucker who doesn't even have the balls to tell me who they are. I will accept advice from my friends and even people I don't know as well if I know where it's comming from. But random advice left to me on my doorstep is just fucking weird. So whoever this person is had better either stop sending me shit or tell me who they are because if I ever find out I'm going to personally go over to their house and make a big, huge fucking mess because I don't enjoy mind games. Especially not ones that scare me like this.

God this pisses me off to no end. If I had a bat I'd smash something right now I'm so mad. Fortunately for me I don't have a bat cuz I'm at work and breaking stuff at work is bad. The note was written as if I had assumed my life was over because I didn't have a boyfriend and was also talking to me like I was never going to have another one again. You know I'm only 22, I seriously doubt that I'm going to go through life without ever having another boyfriend again, and if I'm depressed because if it, then god fucking damn it I'm going to be depressed. Some times I want to be depressed, it reminds me that I am human after all and means that I do feel better after I realize that I can survive on my own. I don't need some fucking stranger to tell me that I can because I fucking know I can and I don't have to take that shit. All I wanted was for people to fucking leave my alone, my friends (yes FRIENDS) did and I was happier for it. If I need them I call them and they are there for me. I was finally becomming happy again with where my life was going, even without a boyfriend and this fucker had to do this to me. And right now all I want to know is who did it and why. People don't randomly leave books titled "How to Ruin Your Life" on your doorstep for no reason. If they though it was amusing and would make me feel better then they are sorely mistaken, it made me feel worse. No actually thats not true, I was ambivalent towards the book. I didn't really care. So I assumed it was from my ex, I didn't exactly do anything about it nor was I going to. The note is what got me. If the note had just said "the book wasn't from *****" then I would have been fine. The rest of the shit in the note I'm not so happy about.

I should probably stop ranting about this but I'm so fucking pissed and disturbed about it. I couldn't sleep last night because of it and anything that disturbes me enough to cause me to lose sleep doesn't make me happy. Fortunately for me I have FRIENDS to hang out with tonight. And I will hang out with them and I will tell them about all this and see if any of them might know who this fucker is that's sending me this shit.
10:03 a.m.

Metroid Hunter

Monday, January 26, 2004
Haven't blogged in a while. Been busy with school and work, and most importantly of all Star Wars Galaxies. Yeah I'm kinda surprised myself that I'm still playing that game. Then again my guild is fun to hang out with. Lol we even played Truth or Dare last night in one of the guildmemebers houses. It was rather interesting. Reminded me of high school except the dares were actualy more daring. Well the real life dares anyway, some of them were in-game dares that we got screens of. Some of the people in my guild are lucky that our city is out in the middle of nowhere. I think the best one of the night was when I dared Zero (the guild second in command) to kiss Ogre (the guild leader). He gave it a valient effort (they are roommates which is why I dared him to do that) but in the end Ogre rejected him and locked his door. It was funny as hell. Ogre was saying he was going to have nightmares over guild chat. He was one of the two people on in the guild who weren't participating. We actually played until 3am. Unfortunately that means I'm now really tired after getting 4 hours of sleep, but at least I had fun.

Things have been kinda weird for me as of late in real life. Lol then again my life in SWG is kinda wacked too. When you play a game where your character and another character can get married, and you actually do, you know that life is strange. Yes it's true, my SWG character married one of my guildmembers. His name is Norman Redrum too, kinda makes you wonder. Anyways that's not what this was about. So lately things have been getting rather odd. Well odd in a good way I suppose. I recently discovered that someone in the Star Wars club that we have here is interested in me. However the person who gave me this information wouldn't tell me who. The other odd thing was one of my coworkers (who I know has a GF) called me out of the blue on Saturday and asked me if I would like to go have sushi with him and his roommates that night. The thing is I'm fairly sure that he wasn't calling on behalf of himself, but rather on behalf of his roommate who I recently discovered was in Akido with me. So now I'm all confused and stuff cuz I don't know what to make of that, or if I'm reading too much into it and whatnot. Life is strange sometimes. Although now I have a mission for the next SW club meeting, to find out who this mystery guy is cuz I wanna know.
09:12 a.m.

Metroid Hunter

Saturday, January 17, 2004
You know it's been really interesting lately watching this war that's been occuring between Penny Arcade and A Modest Destiny or The Starship Destiny or whatever it is now. Now I like both comics. I read both comics and will continue to read both comics. But suddenly I'm not so enthusiastic about AMD because this guy has just posted something in his news blurb that just screams "I am a Jack Ass." All the other stuff aside, which was mostly postings that were his word against theirs this is proof positive of his jack ass-ness.

So here's the deal. Sean (AMD) has been fighting Tycho and Gabe (PA) over some stupid copyright issue concerning his sprites which apparently part of appeared in the PA forums. Now most of this was happening behind the scenes so all the readers got was the feedback that the authors posted. So I was ambivilent about it up until now. I trust the guys at PA but I wanted to see if Sean could do something that might implicate that maybe this was being blown just a little out of proportion on PAs part. Not that that's bad or anything, just to help them prove a point. I now however that this is not the case. After reading this:

"More proof that people just can't get enough of me! It's becoming quite the trendy thing to do. I think Penny Arcade just did this for more publicity. Lord knows, they could use the traffic.
Standard copyright debate challenge applies and all that stuff."

The "more proof that people just can't get enough of me!" is a link to PA's comic of the day which contains a calendar with one of Seans sprites on it modified to have an eyepatch. My first thought to this comment was the "What a jack ass." And I think it's a good descriptive comment. I'm sorry but PA is probably getting waaaaay more traffic than AMD or TSD or whatever it is now. This guy has way to high of an opinion of himself and his abilities to create sprites. I think he also has way to high opinion of his reader base too. I think I'm the only person I know who reads AMD while just about everyone I know reads PA. I just hope that Sean realized that his copyright claims will never hold up in court, or wherever he chooses to take it.

Having done a study on copyright and having an aunt who specializes in copyright law you begin to understand the little things about it. For starters the sprites of AMD would have to be registered with the US copyright office before any serious legal action could be taken against anyone for it. The second thing is that since PA isn't making money for it seriously the only thing that would actually happen to them in the end is a slap on the wrist with a ruler and someone telling them not to do it again. Oooooo makes me scared just thinking about it. -_-

Ok so this rant is mayhap a tad bit too long, but I just had to do it. I like reading Penny Arcade, I also like reading A Modest Destiny/The Starship Destiny/Whatever The Fuck It Is and I will continue to read both. However I have no love of Seans attitude towards the spirit of webcomics or towards his competition. I'm sorry but you can't talk down to someone who managed to raise $146,000 for a childrens hospital. When you manage to do the same thing Sean, then I'll consider lifting my "Jack ass" statement but not before.

Ok so granted neither the people at PA or at AMD are going to read that, but oh well. I've put my two cents into the world, I can't do a damned thing about helping people to find it. But at least for the few people who will be reading it I will have made my mark, or something.
10:03 a.m.

Metroid Hunter

Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Ok so here I am at work with nothing to do. So obviously this means I should blog. Not much going on recently. Been working on my guild's webpage for SWG. That's been kinda fun. Although creating forums are a bitch. Oh well, at least my guild appreciates it. Not much on the page yet aside from a list of the guild members and a few links but oh well. It's not like it really needs much at the moment. It's cool though, I like it at least.

So exciting day at the office (sort of). The first incarnation of Walter was born today, finally. Right now I know most of you are wondering "Who the hell is Walter?" but actually you should be wondering "What the hell is Walter?" Walter is, well in the physical sense a cardboard box with teeth. Although he's not really physical. You see my co-worker Charles, in a night of studying was bestowed with a fit of madness that can only come from the deprivation of sleep in over three days. During this time Walter came to him and probably tried to eat him or something. I'm not exactly sure what, but either way Walter appeared to him. Walter then became the office mascott. Since then Walter's position in the office has grown as he has become known as the perfect automated tech. Basically what's happening is that several people in the office are writing a program that will fix a lot of the common problems we're having and they are calling this program Walter. It's kinda interesting, but we go with it.
03:12 p.m.

Metroid Hunter

Sunday, January 11, 2004
God damn it! A few days after I finally buy landofgiven.net thinking that landofgiven.com will never be released by namezero despite it being expired sure enough it's finally free again and some jack ass buys it and then has the gall to try and sell it to me for $90. So I wrote back to him and told him to fuck off. I think landofgiven.net will work just as well for me right now thank you very much. Squirrelman.net seems to be available agian but who knows. I'm not sure I really want to buy that domain name again just yet. I think I'll wait till next month and see if it's still there and available.
05:13 p.m.

Metroid Hunter

Saturday, January 10, 2004
I really hate life sometimes. Depression in particular. I haven't been this depressed since the break up with Alex and that was the most depressed I had been ever up to that point. I realized tonight that I am truely alone right now. More alone than I've ever been. All of my friends up here and even most of them back in Stockton now have significant others that they spent most of their time with. The rest have significant others that are just not accessible all the time. Either way I'm the odd man out, again, as usual. I'm tired of being the single one. Yeah so I dated Jen and Joseph for a while but you know, that wasn't real. We all knew it. It was an experiment more than anything else. And while at the time the experiment was fun, it was time for it to end, I knew it, and they knew it. And I'm not really upset about it. I'm a little surprised that I'm not upset about it yet at the same time I'm also not surprised. I think the break helped me put it in perspective. Unfortunatley the fact that I'm not upset about that doesn't change the fact that I'm still alone and very depressed. And after spending 2 hours crying and talking about it with them I still don't feel any better. I'm beginning to loath being alone. I just spend all my time in my room, alone, playing with my computer and hiding from the friends who I love to hang out with, but who make me depressed evertime I see them. It's impossible to catch one without his/her other half unless that other half is elsewhere in the country or in another country entirely. I don't know, maybe this is just me babbling about stuff that I'm not even sure about, but some of it is true. I do feel very alone and left out amongst my friends. I love them all to pieces, and I love being with them, but my emotions like to tell me otherwise.

Well I should probably get some sleep now. Although I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow to keep myself occupied and not depressed, if that's even possible at this point in time.
03:18 a.m.

Metroid Hunter

Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Ok the weather around here has been a little wacky. And I use that word loosly. So last night it snowed, it normally doesn't snow in Eugene yes has been for a while now anyways. Then this morning it starts to rain, and not normal rain either, freezing rain. Something akin to hail only worse. Now it's just raining even though its 25 degrees outside and by all means should be snowing or haling or doing that freezing rain thing again. The main problem with the rain is that combined with the ice already on the ground and the subfreezing temperature it's only adding more ice. This makes it extremely hard to walk up and down hills.

The other odd thing that happened was to my car. Ok so yesterday my car was frozen shut, and I mean frozen. After unfreezing the lock I tried to open the door and it wouldn't budge. I tried pouring warm water over it and that didn't work either. Finall I gave up. Then today I was comming back from class and I notice that my car is even more frozen over than before. So I go over to investigate. First I clear the icicles off the handle and the ice and suddenly my car door opens. This confused me to no end because I thought I had locked it, however wasn't sure because I couldn't test it. So then half the ice crackes off the top of my car and what did I discover but a layer of snow below the ice. Now I found this rather odd because normally that doesn't happen. Currently it's created a nice ice shell that's protecting my car from further freezing. Well the part of my car that I haven't cracked it off of yet. I also managed to get pictures of said event which I will share with you now.

The top of my car

My windshield (I think it looks cool actually)
03:16 p.m.

Metroid Hunter