Tuesday, December 23, 2003 - 1:16 pm

Christmas. Bleh. Bah humbug. Remember when you were a kid and Christmas didn't suck? Remember when you'd wake up on Christmas morning all groggy and wondering why Grandma was over visiting, and sleeping in your bed while you had to sleep on the hard cold floor and then it HIT YOU. TODAY WAS CHRISTMAS. FREE PRESENT DAY. And then you'd get that giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach, as thought you'd just won a Powerball Jackpot and had discovered the secret of eternal life BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. Yeah, I remember that feeling. I miss that feeling. Hell, I miss the feeling I had LAST Christmas when my life was generally tedious but I was still gainfully employed, and even though my job sucked, at least I could take heart knowing I would only be miserable for the 8 hours per day that I worked there. The rest of the time was mine to do with as I pleased and, in retrospect, I can see I spent that time rather foolishly. Hell, I pissed away this entire last year without doing much of anything to better myself, although admittedly, there was lots I could've done to make things unfold in a far less disasterous fashion than the way they did. For instance, I could've looked busier and happier at my job. Or, alternatively, I could've painted realistic-looking irises on my eyelids to make my co-workers and employers think that I was still wide awake and busily typing at my computer like a good little drone. I could've also paid better attention at company meetings, and not have rolled my eyes and scoffed loudly when our manager said our company was doing poorly because it hadn't met it's yearly goals of increasing it's profits by 48 percent. (Never mind the company had still managed to post a hefty profit for that year and was making money hand over fist. My employers seemed to think that if business wasn't increasing exponentially from year to year that the company was in danger of failing. I dunno. Maybe they had set up the company in such a way that it was. Of course, I'm of the opinion that only a true moron would adopt an overall business philosophy as unstable and unsustainable as that one. But hell, what would I know? It's not like I have my own company. Although if I DID, I would try to set up a business plan which had less to do with Ponzi schemes and more to do with actual production.)

Feh. What was I talking about again? I forgot. And I don't really care. Holiday depression is setting in and by now it's chewed away at least 60 percent of my brain. I'm at the point where I can't even think of a satisfying way to end this weblog entry. So I'll just mutter "bah humbug" and be on my way.

Bah. Humbug.