Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 7:20 pm

I accomplished very little today, aside from boxing up my latest costume commission and readying it for sending in the mail. Oh, and paying my bills, bills, bills. I must confess I'm a bit stumped when it comes to the whole "job search" thing, at least when it comes to finding an employer in my immediate area willing to hire me. I've been hitting the want ads pretty hard, online and offline, but so far haven't been able to come up with much. I DID however, manage to come across a humorous website which had this to say on the subject of Want-Ads:

TOM PREMO'S LIST OF WHAT JOB ADS REALLY MEAN!

"COMPETITIVE SALARY:" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:" We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:" Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY:" Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:" We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED:" Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON:" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:" We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Funny, eh? (Well, it WOULD be if it wasn't true...)

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 - 3:17pm

I had another job interview today. I don't think I did very well, although admitedly, it's very hard to tell with these types of things. I do know that when the time came for the interviewer to ask me if I had any questions I completely flaked out and forgotten what it was I had been planning to ask her. So I asked her about my potential salary and benefits, which I think is a big no-no this early in the interview process. But it was just as well I suppose. After all, did I really want to wait until the second or third interviews to find out (a)that the job specifics can be summed up in two phrases: "awesome amount of responsibility" and "low pay"? Or (b)the fact that, although it's a graphic design firm which caters specifically to dentists, that it offers it's employees nothing in the way of a dental plan? Best to learn these kinds of things now than later. All the same, I'll send them a thank-you letter. God knows, that might be the best potential job to come my way for a long while...(and who knows? Maybe I was the best potential employee they interviewed, although I highly doubt it, considering my complete lack of practical printing experience and my complete inability to express myself without cackling inanely every fifteen seconds.)

Oh well. Maybe today was a complete flop. At least I can take comfort in knowing that there are some unemployeds out there who are having a far worse time trying to snag a job than I've been having. (And who are far funnier about it, too.)