Thursday, January 23, 2003 - 12: 32 pm

I've got about 70% of the next Hamlet update finished. I don't know how soon I'll be able to get it posted, as I'm considering going down to Cities to visit my parents this weekend. (To finally drop off at their house the turkey I forgot to bring them for Christmas, which has been taking up valuable space in my freezer since mid-December. Although the way the weather is outside right now, I could just put it out on the deck. No danger of it thawing for a while. Of course with my luck, it would probably fall off and bean one of my neighbors in the head, although in the case of SOME of the people who live here, such an event would not be likely to cause much in the way of damage. It might actually bring about an improvement.)

Still haven't heard back from Dust Traveller who's e-mail silence can only mean he's currently undergoing a period of unspeakably horrible tribulation and personal tragedy, or he's got himself a new girlfriend. (Both of which, if past is of any indication, mean pretty much the same thing.)

Sorry I've been slacking in the e-mail department again, even with the people I normally take the time to e-mail at least once a day. Seasonal Affective Disorder is the pits, man...

Wednesday, January 22, 2003 - 1:13 am

I decided not to go to anime club last night, on account of my car being wonky and it being 25 degrees below zero outside (which seemed a surefire recipe for potential disaster as any I'd ever see.) Instead, I stayed in and re-vamped my Cosplay Armormaking Page, including a new section (with pictures) dealing with my newly finished Saiyan Battle Armor.

I also put some new cosplay-related items up for sale on ebay, including that new Lina Inverse-style shoulder armor I made before my life started really going ker-flooey. Hope it fetches a decent price, as I've had a lot of demands being made upon my wallet lately. (and not very polite demands at that)

Hmph. Found out there will be a delay in the shipping of my new Clothes Patternmaking software on account of there being six inches of snow falling in the city (Nashville, Tennessee) from which it is being sent. Huh. Only 6 inches? Wimps. Oh, I also found out that our town has FINALLY gotten around to opening up a Chinese restaurant in the Conoco service station mall at the corner of Red River Ave. Huh. Now all this town needs is a decent fabric store (which it will most likely get the day I decide to move away from here,) and life around here will be perfect...well...except for my job and my neighbors...and my car.... and my bad knees....and my bills... and my landlord... and my co-workers...and my life.

Haaaaahhhhh.....

Tuesday, January 21, 2003 - 12:25 pm

Well, it would seem SOME good has come out of me not being able to finish my game--I went and finished two pages of Hamlet last night. (Finished DRAWING, that is. I've yet to scan and letter them.) So chances of there being a Hamlet update next week are pretty decent, (barring any further disasters life might care to throw at me, of course.)

Not everything is well on the manga front, however. Turns out Elder Star will run out of pages in two weeks unless I start doing something about it now. Unfortunately, I haven't even BEGUN preliminary sketches for the next chapter (much less finished any of the wallpapers and donater art I promised I'd do.) I hate to say it, but I feel like a real failure in respect to that site. Sure, we've all seen it happen to alot of other webcomics--someone starts out with an ambitious plan to create the Great American Manga and then, when the project drags on or life gets too hectic, they stop updating and said manga is left to choke out it's dying gasps in the fading ether. I, however, would hate to see such a fate befall Elder Star, as I feel it's a great comic and I had such big dreams for it. Unfortunately, big dreams and a stressful life with a soul-sucking job really don't mix all that well. What I might wind up doing is putting Elder Star on hiatus while I direct all my attention to finishing Hamlet. No more of this multi-tasking shit. Gotta stay focused on one project and stick with it until it's done. That might be the only way to keep me from going off of onlne manga altogether the same way my friend the Queen of Swords went off of online fanfiction. Too much stuff to do. Too many demands and pressure from fans = no fun. And fun's what it's all about, folks. It sure ain't about the money (unless you count the all of ten generous people who bothered to donate to Elder Star in the four months since the comic's inception.)

Thanks to everyone who's sent me in fanart and words of encouragement. (Especially to those I haven't gotten around to thanking by e-mail yet). And thanks to everyone who's offered to let me borrow their copies of Suikoden 3. You'll be sure to hear a holler from me if I decide to take you up on your offers. (And if borrowing another person's disc STILL doesn't help me get through that Unfight-able Battle, you'll all be hearing an even BIGGER holler from me.)

Stay sane, everybody...

Monday, January 20, 2003 - 8 am

UPDATE- My friend Kevin says he'll let me borrow his DVD doctor next time we meet, which may help solve my little Stuck in Suikoden 3 problem. (One can only hope.)

My cat Moonie, meanwhile, is doing her best to provide me with moral support, (which has, thus far consisted of her sitting in my lap and licking my thumb.) Which may not be of any practical value when it comes to addressing any of my current problems, but hey, the thought is there...

Sunday, January 19, 2003 - 11:18 pm

Around 10:30 Central Time, you all may have heard a loud knocking sound, not unlike that of a heavy yet hollow object banging against a hard wooden surface. If you heard such a sound and were wondering from whence it came, wonder no more. It was me. That was the sound of me banging my head against the floor once I realized I had no hope of ever finishing Suikoden 3.

You know, Suikoden 3, the game I've been struggling to beat for the past few months (although it seems more like it's been the past few years.) Apparently, the copy of the game I possess has some sort of glitch which renders the major battle scene at the end of Chris Chapter 3 unplayable. (I mean it. I get there and the battle fires up and suddenly, I'm staring at an empty battlefield with a blank cursor which does nothing no matter how many buttons I mash. Screaming and throwing my controller at the screen didn't seem to help much. Neither did banging my head against the floor hard enough to cause an earthquake.) I have no idea what would cause such a glitch. Perhaps the game disk has been damaged, or is buggy, or perhaps I unknowingly set off a series of in-game events which somehow led to the glitch manifesting itself. I just don't know. All I know for certain is that I now have an overwhelming urge to commit ritual seppuku, preferably by swallowing a grenade and hugging my Playstation 2 close to me until we both go up together in a spectacular blaze of failure-tinted glory.

*Sigh*

In a strange way, I feel this particular game has become something of a metaphor for my life. No matter what I do, I can't win. Hell, I can't even FIGHT. I'm mashing the X button and nothing is happening. (Nothing besides the odd car breaking down every now and again or the odd joke being played on me by Cupid.) Speaking of Cupid, if I ever see his winged ass flying around here again, I'm going to kick it. Stupid near-sighted, diaper-wearing cherub. (Why the neighborguy from across the hall? Why someone I have to deal with on an almost daily basis? Why? WHY?)

Why do I get the feeling that my asking why is the equivalent of my mashing the X button in my aforementioned Life/Video Game metaphor thingie?...

Sigh.

Oh, switching gears suddenly, I've almost got that new saiyan chest armor I've been working on finished. I'll try to get pictures of that posted as soon as I can. (And then it's back to Hamlet! I promise!...Providing I don't go crazy or or bang my head against the floor so hard, it causes permanent brain damage. Not that anyone would notice...)

I'm tempted to say here that I'm sorry to be depressing you all, but I'm guessing the only kind of people who tune into this site now aren't the kind of people who'd be depressed by anything I say, but rather, the kind of people who are looking for some kind of catharsis, or for some evidence to suggest that their own life may not be nearly as horrible as they thought it was. In that respect, at least, I hope I can take some consolation in knowing that my little moebius strip of a life has not been in vain..

God, I really wanted to beat Suikoden 3. I don't suppose anyone out there would care to temporarily loan me (as opposed to permanently loan me, I guess) a hopefully scratch and bug-free copy of the game? Hm?