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pitas
A Fan's View
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The Queen of Swords
Silvestris.net
Jareth.com
Studio Kyrn
8-Bit Theatre
Silence the Comic

Monday, January 3, 2005
You must forgive the bitterness of my last post. It becomes easier to understand once you realize that today I

Still feel under the weather, as far as my plumbing is concerned.

Discovered my hair is thinning. (Of all the things I thought I'd have to worry about this year, "going bald" wasn't one of them.)

Drove my car into a snow-covered curb by accident, breaking my snowguard and giving my engine a much-unneeded jolt.

Recevied more "motivation through intimidation" from my mother. (Who apparently thinks that threats are a good way to goad a stressed-out OCD sufferer with low self-esteem into taking positive action.)

Still find myself living in fucking Minnesota in the fucking middle of fucking winter, which would be enough by itself to depress ANYBODY...

So if I'm bitter, please, don't hold it against me. I'll try and find SOMETHING positive to dwell on (Although I doubt I'll find it TODAY...)

Monday, January 3, 2005

I hate my life. I hate every stupid, boring, pointless, pathetic, flaccid, useless, tedious, angst-filled moment of it. And it's all because I don't know what to do with it. I was hoping I could go in a forwardly direction - using the loss of my last job as a springboard to further my career in Graphic Design, --but after sending out truckloads of resumes, sitting in on dozens of interviews and cold-calling every printing company/newpaper/book publisher in the state (and quite a few which were out of state), I've achieved absofuckingbupkiss. I thought that perhaps, if I couldn't find a job in my chosen field, that I could begin a home business, marketing the best of my talents directly to people who'd want me to create for them. I'm currently making a game try at such a venture, but it's rough going, especially since I'm still forced to share a cramped house with my family (and have no work area to speak of, other than what I'm able to carve out of my tiny, tiny bedroom.) Even this venture is threatened, as my mother wishes earnestly to throw me out of the house, (me, the hardworking, struggling artist who actually manages to bring in some money. Not "Robby", my bum of a little brother who lives rent-free in a spacious bedroom upstairs, who hasn't held down a real job in 3 years and who siphons money from my parents like some unholy, spiky-haired, video-game-playing vampire. Nooo. HE'S free to stay for as long as he wants, and he's made it clear he will probably stay with them, sucking at their fixed-income teat until they die. Or until I stab him to death with my manga pens.)

Okay. I was just kidding there. I'm not REALLY going to kill my brother,-- although if I did, I would be guaranteed free room and board for the rest of my life. Granted, this would probably be in some horrible "Chained Heat"-type prison setting, (but on the other hand, it would also be AWAY from the rest of my family, so it wouldn't be ALL bad...Hmmmmmm)

At least I know I have some OPTIONS...

Of course, I'm still young enough to join the army, and I might find myself more tempted to take advantage of more radical life changes along that vein, if it weren't for my cats, whom I don't want to leave, give away or drag across the country. (That really limits my above, aforementioned options somewhat...)

Someone suggested to me I go back to school and get my Masters. Maybe become a teacher (yeah, I'm a real people person.) Truth is, I'm all for going back to school, but I really don't know what I'd go back to school for. My biggest nightmare is that I'd get a higher degree and then wind up just as unable to find a job as I am now- only I'd be $30,000 in debt. Not a pretty scenario.

Still, there must be SOME WAY a creative person like me can make money in this world and SOME PATH I can follow to get there. And I hope I find it soon.

'Cause right now, I'm travelling down the wrong road at full bore. And I'm running out of gas.

And I'm being chased by zombies.

Ninja zombies.

Really FAST ninja zombies.

With rocket-launchers on their backs.

Rocket-launchers that shoot angry, rabid, saber-toothed kittens.

Zombie kittens.

Really FAST zombie kittens.

Okay, I'm through belaboring this metaphor. I'm going back to work now...

***************

Friday, December 31, 2004

Welp, it's that time of the month again: the time when my bandwidth limit kicks in and my website craps out for the rest of the month. Whoop-ee. If I weren't currently doubled over in pain from my latest bout with UTI, I'd probably be whining about that. Instead I'll just whine about my stupid bladder which likes to suck up bacteria like a nuclear-powered vacuum on the shag setting. Damn stupid thing. I'd probably be dead at least five times over if it weren't for the magic of modern anti-biotics. (My bladder fails to realize this, of course and keeps sailing it's own reckless and free-wheeling course.) At least this time I was able to find a doctor charitable enough to score me some free Cipro samples. Which, I'm hoping, will prove more effective than that over-the-counter shit that did nothing but turn my pee beet red. Yech. (I suppose there are worse colors a person'e pee could turn but...YEEECHHH....)

Oh, and according to the scale in the doctor's office, I've gained 6 pounds since my last doctor's visit in March (for ANOTHER UTI. *Sigh.*) Merry Christmas to ME.....

Saturday, December 25, 2004
Merry Christmas!

I'm back from my out-of-state-pre-Christmas-cosplay trip, --during which I worked on some suits of plastic armor with my friend Grandis. I shall most likely explain the purpose of the trip in greater depth, as soon as I've had a chance to recover from my travels. (As you can see, I'm too tired to even bother matching my current font with the Tahoma I used in earlier posts. Oh well. Maybe I'll just go with Times New Roman from now on. Seems like a lot less trouble. And less trouble is good.)

Speaking of cosplay, (er...well... cosplay-related things,) I've just discovered what may be one of the greatest cosplay resources sites ever. (Alright, it may not be THE greatest, but it does contain lots of spiffy Naruto and FMA diagrams and printable images. And much more. Go visit it. Now. The above linkies my Christmas present to you. (And yes, I will be attempting to make an Edward Elric Automail arm sometime in the near future using pics from this site.)

Friday, December 17, 2004
Still have insomnia. My attempts to cure said insomnia through the use of Sominex resulted in my being a zombie for roughly 36 hours, after which I awoke relaxed and refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new day -- Only problem was, it was 3am in the morning. Whoops. I guess that plan didn't turn out the way I hoped it would. My circadian rhythm is totally farked right now, and probably will remain so for awhile to come, unless I can think of another, hopefully drug-free way to adjust my internal clock.

Or I could just give up and get a job working the graveyard shift for the remainder of my days...*sigh.*

My plans to attend Animazement next year might be in jeopardy. (It turns out there might be a social conflict brewing between a couple of people down there whom I was planning to share the hotel with.) It would suck if I were unable to make it, as Animazement is a nice-sized, artist-friendly con. We'll have to see what happens.

I'm planning on travelling down to Iowa this week to work on an armoring project with a fellow cosplayer. OF course, THOSE plans could fall through if the weather gets bad. If, by some chance, I DO make it, I'll probably still have access to e-mail, although I won't be able to send out anything via snail mail. (Which might mean something to those of you expecting packages from me. You know who you are.)