Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 2:21 pm

Upon waking up this morning, I immediately fell into a panic, thinking I had somehow fallen asleep in the bathtub the night before. And then I realized the horrible truth-- I wasn't lying in the bathtub. I was lying in my own bed. It was just really really humid. It still IS humid. Unspeakably, indescribably humid. It is SO humid in fact, that if I were to just move a mere inch, gouts of sweat would pour forth from every pore on my body like some disgusting fountain. Needless to say, I make for pretty bad company right now. (Although my cats apparently think otherwise, as they've been doing nothing else all day but jump on my lap shooting their stupid detachable hair all over my now sticky skin in much the same manner that a porcupine shoots it quills. Thanks to them, I look like a yeti now. A yeti with equal parts black and blonde fur. A big, stupid, retarded yeti...)

I'm hungry. I think I'll have cat tonight.

Earlier today, some UPS guy, (whom I've NEVER seen before) stopped by my apartment to drop off a package-- whereupon said UPS man then asked me how my job search was going. How the hell did HE know I was searching for a job? There's no way he COULD'VE known, (unless he's the one who has been delivering my unemployment checks all this time.) I dunno. Maybe he reads my weblog. Maybe he's just really incredibly nosy. All I know is that I find it extremely unnerving that some random delivery drone would know all about my current trials and tribulations. I wonder if he knows about all my other problems as well. My irregular periods... or that mole on my back. The next time he comes around, will I have to answer questions about THEIR current status as well?

Another possibility: maybe he was a spy sent by the unemployment office to check up on me. Sent to make sure that I'm actually spending all of my current time looking for a job as opposed to spending it all sitting in my video rocker watching Starsky and Hutch reruns. Yeah... The US government and UPS forming an unholy alliance to root out unemployment benefit cheats. Makes sense... doesn't it? It would help to explain SO much which is currently going on in my life right now...

I think I might be going crazy. Case in point: Last weekend, I allowed myself to be talked into going to a sushi bar. Yes, I'm glad I went. Yes, I'm glad I had the opportunity to experience the elite and exotic beauty which IS sushi. But still, I can't help but think there's something inherently SAD about people plunking down 70 dollars for a tray-full of warm, smooshy fish in a pathetic attempt to appear sophisticated. I'm sure I didn't look very sophisticated whilst I was trying to force that stuff down my throat. And the pickled ginger. My GOD. The pickled ginger. It looks like ham. It tastes like soap. It comes with a side of wasabi. Only demons can dream this kind of stuff up, folks.

Oy. Well, I'm gonna TRY and see if I can't accomplish something useful by the end of the day even if, thanks to the humidity, it IS impossible to move half a millimeter without losing half of my body's weight in water. Feh.