Monday, May 13, 2002 -- 04:18 p.m.

I wake up, I go to the bank, I go to Kinko's, I come home, I swear I will spend the rest of the afternoon working on and finishing my 1977 mix-CD article, and then I fall asleep. I wake up at 4 PM. Dammit.
I keep thinking it's easy to write paragraph-long blurbs detailing the history, context and greatness of 21 different rock, pop, punk, disco and funk songs from one year, but then I sit down to do it and it takes me forever. When will the first QCPM installment actually show up? No idea. Tomorrow, maybe, or Wednesday or whenever. I am trying to make sure it will be a good read, though. Meanwhile:
-rockcritics.com has a few new Top Fives, and they're good.
-Super Furry Animals' Rings Around The World is the best album to come out of Wales since... uh... well... uh, a little help here?
-Some band called VHS or Beta was featured on Audiogalaxy and I downloaded the featured track, a little bit of disco-funk wonderment called "Heaven". I suggest you get it.

-Nate

Saturday, May 11, 2002 -- 07:17 p.m.

Remember a few days ago at how I sneered at Greil Marcus for his review of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (almost spelled 'Foxtron'- sounds like Rupert Murdoch's world domination robot)? This guy sneers better.

-Nate

Friday, May 10, 2002 -- 12:04 p.m.

I would also like the opportunity to mention that Drew is rad. (Why did I give this a new entry instead of editing the previous one? To test out the new entry format. Word.)

-Nate

Oh yeah.
Friday, May 10, 2002 -- 11:49 a.m.

Courtesy of FtDitNB, it's the legendary KLF-penned THE MANUAL: HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE THE EASY WAY. It's gonna rock ya!

Continuing on the Eminem topic: thanks to the Miracle of Audiogalaxy, I downloaded the title track to his indie release "Infinite" from 1996. There's a lot less stabbing and hatred and craziness and drug references, and for a look into the formative years of an MC still developing his style it's actually pretty good (I might even stick it in my 1996 installation of QCPM). It makes me wonder (a) what happened to send him into Slim Shady mode, and (b) what would've happened if he'd stayed the path of inoffensive yet pretty good rhymes. (I'm guessing he'd develop the nimble lyrical style he has now sans Shady I-do-drugs-and-kill-people button-pushing and wind up getting signed to Def Jux and doing guest spots on Aesop Rock tracks.)

-Nate

OMG CONTROVERSIAL
Thursday, May 9, 2002 -- 11:09 a.m.

Looks like Eminenema's got a new single out now. Whoop-de-shit! And it's all about how controversial and edgy he is, like he needs to remind everyone or something. Weird that he's picking on Moby- target of the fag-bait du jour- for being 36 (and, uh, how old is Dre?) and how "nobody listens to techno" (that's it- Detroit should DISOWN this turd). Of course everyone's gonna jump all over his groinal region when the album drops, which makes me wonder: does everyone like him because his songs sound assholish, or because the man actually IS an asshole?

EDIT: Dr. Dre is 37. And Marshall calls himself "White 'Pac" on the "Without Me" b-side. I can only hope he means X-Pac.

-Nate

That boy's not right.
Wednesday, May 8, 2002 -- 01:55 p.m.

Awp. No QCPM yesterday or today or probably until this weekend, d'oh. Lots of other crapola to worry about until then, and later I'll get the chance to really write this stuff. In the meantime- and yes, I know I've been going on at this guy's expense for a while- there's a weird, somewhat amusing interview with Andrew W.K. on the Onion's AV Club section (see link above). I mean, he seems like a nice guy and all, but he has the tendency to ramble. Also, they gave a rave review of Blackalicious' Blazing Arrow so maybe I'll have to pick it up and give it a closer listen.

-Nate

Yeah, new look. (Don't click this, you'll just get this same page.)
Monday, May 6, 2002 -- 10:23 p.m.

Yep, it's a new look, with a masthead inspired somewhat by the sort of weird vending machines and various other large unruly mechanical fixtures you might find in a bowling alley or a laundromat of '70s vintage. Utilitarian, kind of dull, but I'm not Lileks here so I ain't gonna spend half this update talking about my web design crap. Instead, I shall discuss the usual Top Five Singles, as well as the Top Five Something Besides Albums. Superstar DJs, here we go:

Nate's Top Fives for the week of 05.06.02.

Singles:
5) Happa-tai, "Yatta": This has been circulating around the internet for a while, usually in the form of a Flash animation not unlike the insidious "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" schtick (and don't get me started on that festering pile of unfunny hell death evil garbage). But since there is stiff competition nowadays from other 'net trends like the perplexingly stupid "Gonads and Strife" video or the kinda funny Official Ninja Webpage, "Yatta" is not as dominant in the hearts of catchphrase-pimping net-dorks and therefore somehow manages to be less irritating. As for the song itself... well, from what I can surmise from the original video (available here), it's these five Japanese guys wearing nothing but tighty-whities with large fig leaves over the crotch (apparently Happa-tai means "Leaf Team") doing this disco boy-band parody. It's funny, it's catchy, they dance like a bunch of nutcases, and the lyrics are just fun ("Try keeping dogs--they're cute!"). This ranks with Pizzicato Five's "Go-go Dancer" and Fantastic Plastic Machine's "Dear Mr. Salesman" on my Favorite Goofy Pop Stuff From Japan list.
4) Nappy Roots, "Awnaw": With the thumping organ riffs and the skittering beats, this sounds to me like Dirty South's answer to Handsome Boy Modeling School's "Rock and Roll (Could Never Hip-Hop Like This)". The chorus so catchy not even a John Travolta plastic bubble will keep you from getting infected, and there's lyrics that- if not Outkast-level brilliant- rank up there for memorable one-liners ("Hey now we hurt some, suffered for more, takes what we work for/ Hated for the cussin', but the hatred it made us cuss more"). This song seem to revel in a sort of inverse bling-bling- Benz reference notwithstanding, there's lots of references to mud, cockroaches, being flat broke and... being "country boys". We're not in South Bronx anymore.
3) Keith Mansfield, "Young Scene": This is inane go-go trash and I love the bejeezus out of it. Bombastic drumming, cornball Alpertian horns all over the place (familiar to anyone who's ever clamped on the ol' ear goggles and cranked up Fatboy Slim's "Punk To Funk"), a brief little organ interlude, and kapow it's freakout time! It sounds like the theme song to the world's coolest game show ever. "Bowling for Rock Action" or something. It's a minute-twenty-one of library music from that genre's answer to Lalo Schifrin.
2) The Stooges vs. Salt 'n' Pepa, "No Fun/Push It": I am starting to wonder if perhaps bootlegs are actually the best thing to hit music in the last five years. They challenge you to process the sounds of two very familiar songs and try to come to terms with the fact that they're actually coexisting in the same space- and it actually works. Here, the individual responsible for mixing this one brings out the latent punk rock oomph in Salt 'n' Pepa's rhymes, and it actually goes toe-to-toe with the Beastie's "Sabotage" in the Punk-Rap Sweepstakes. And wins. Iggy joins the vocal festivities with that classic "CUH-MAWWWWWN", and the great Asheton solo at the end just caps things off like wow.
1) Television, "Little Johnny Jewel": This is one of those songs. By that I mean if you ask someone what their favorite Television song is and they answer "Friction" or "Venus De Milo", then they're probably an average music geek- but if they answer "Little Johnny Jewel" then you know you're dealing with one discerning individual to say the least. The world's simplest bassline plus the sublime Verlaine guitar playing equals wonderment. The version I have is nearly eight minutes and fades out in the middle, as if it had to be continued on the B-side of a 7", and the second half is where things become clear: holy damn, this Tommy here, he can play the guitar, he can play it like he's weeping on the strings or skulking down the fretboard like some Bowery back alley, a double-barreled shotgun laying waste to all the lazy noodling Peaceful Easy Feeling crap that was supposed to dictate how guitars sounded in '77.

Top Five Great Instrumental Bits in Otherwise Unremarkable Classic Rock Songs
I can't help it. These songs all range from mediocre to downright turd-like, but there's some little riff or a piece of a solo that always makes me nod and maybe even smile a bit. Why? Dunno. If I knew, I'd probably be able to make a million dollars a year as the World's Most Amazing A&R Man/Bionic Samurai Vigilante.
5) Aerosmith, "Sweet Emotion": This has one of the best openings of '70s rock, just wafting along in this sort of psychedelic strumming, very "mellow" dontchaknow, and then after about half a minute the drums crash and BAM! "Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahmooooooshuuuuuuun." And the coda- a whole minute of just big stupid fun power-riffing with guitars that seem almost electronic, given the way the sound is tweaked. Of course there is a song between those two halves and it's typical early Aerosmith stuff, but damn, those bookends.
4) America, "Horse With No Name": This is one of the songs people always bring up when they talk about how much the '70s sucked, and I'm inclined to agree, especially when it comes to the lyrics ("the heat was hot"? I should hope so). But, and God forgive me for this, I really think that guitar solo is, well, I guess "pretty" is the best word for it. I'm pretty sure the way the guitar's tuned or what kind of make it is has more to do with it than anything else, and it's most obvious for me in the way the notes sound as the solo sort of traipses down into nothingness, right before they go into the final verse (hills and rocks and birds and crap okay fine YOU'RE NOT NEIL YOUNG SHUT UP). In the hands of a competent songwriter... well, it's too late for that.
3) Van Halen, "Jump": Back in 1984 I was seven and therefore I wasn't huge into the whole semantics of the rock zeitgeist or whatever kind of critical arglebargle. But apparently lots of people had bonafide shit-fits about Van Halen playing around with synthesizers, and I think there was some sort of outcry that rivaled the Rod Stewart-goes-disco backlash in sheer frothing anger. Well guess what? That synth solo is the best part of the song. To me, it's awe-inspiring. It's the kind of thing that, if Van Halen had never took the plunge and plugged in their Korgs or their Rolands or whatever they used, would eventually turn up somewhere ten years later, perhaps in some Manchester rave anthem that would have all the club kids going completely mental. Those last four notes are the exclamation point, then it goes back into THAT riff- "doot, doot, doot, doot-doo-doo-doot, doot-doodoodoodoodoo"- which is like the '80s answer to "Louie Louie" or something- and things proceed as normal with Roth warbling and Eddie doing that geetar thing. But wow, that solo... that was different, wasn't it?
2) Led Zeppelin, "What Is and What Should Never Be": OK, it's another one of those fogged-out Zep moments that stoners live and die for, Robert Plant alternating between ethereal warbling and his usual Wagnerian bombast, but there's something in the background you can just make out- Page is sort of strumming something very pleasant and calming, then goes into thud-rock for a few moments as Rob does his OOOOOH-OOOH-OEEUUUUUOAOHHH stuff before reverting back into mellow mode. It sounds like lounge jazz that is occasionally interrupted by a Led Zeppelin song, really. But then, at a minute forty-five... man, that solo. That steel guitar sound is a damn temptress, and yea, she leads the listener on one very salacious trip through post-psychedelic wonderment. Less than a minute later it's all over, and shortly thereafter Page does another one of those DUH-NUH-NUH solos to close out the song as Rob sounds like he's going to nut all over the place and then the song is over. But that steel guitar, that's still there.
1) Journey, "Don't Stop Believing": You're going to laugh at me, but that opening piano almost makes me cry. It's 1980s arena rock and it nearly makes me bawl like a damn infant. Even digitized in the beginning of the Atari "Journey: Escape" video game it resonates, and I suppose that matters more than any cheeseball "Separate Ways" videos or laughable custom-van-style album cover graphics ever will.

Expect this to be the last Top Fives for a while as I get set to devote this blog to a nonstop barrage of QCPM propaganda and dissertation and etcetera. I think if I bear down and type like a fiend I will have '77 up by early evening tomorrow. There, I will get to talk about Television again and hopefully reinforce the belief that the Avengers, the Adverts and Ultravox are really cool.
Guess how many times I had to edit this entry. Actually, maybe you'd better not. It's ugly, I tell you.

-Nate