*bangs on bathroom door* Oy, Die!!! Don't hog the toilet! You're not the only one who needs to go.
*bladder is about to give* Oh crap...
*really needs to go* Guys, I'll be right back.
*hikes up one floor to the rooftop*
*pisses over the edge... sprinkling someone... oops!*
[Kaoru, happy to be home]
*walks over Shinya and heads towards the medicine cabinet* Hmmmm, for insect bites, sleeping pills, anti-acne cream, diet pills, fungal infection...here! *hurries over to Shinya and crouches low to shove something in the others' hand* Just place it over the bite and it'll be gone in the morning.
[Kyo, who gave Shinya band-aid]
Woohoo~! *in singsong voice* Here we are here we are here we are!!!! *sees apartment block from station* Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I get to go bathroom fiiiiiiirst!!! *drops Shinya and races towards apartment*
[Die, needing it... Oh God I need it!]
Chocolates? You want chocolates? *gives scrunched-up wrapper to Toshiya* Here, some of it melted, you can lick it up.
*hand goes to stomach* Feel a bit queasy. And I need to piss again. Are we in Tokyo yet? *looks out window* Yay! Buildings! Civilization! Hey, Shin-chan, how's your leg?
[Kaoru, itching to go home so he can use the toilet-- sweet, sweet toilet!]
Yes, yes, but I don't like competition. So... I go to Kao Kao again now! *leery grin* Kaoru-kuuuun! Matte kure yo! *follow Kaoru out of train like a stalker* Damn, I hope he still has chocolates...!
[Toshiya, loves Kaoru... if he has chocolates]
Now now, ladies. There's no need to fight over me. There's plenty of me to go around. *snicker* Kaoru, you sure you don't want Totchi anymore? *evil thought* I adopt divorced bishounen too! (Heehee, Madame Totchi. Nice touch, show me legs before I let you near me! Kakakaka!)
Station's coming up. Ikou!
[Die, we're goin' hoooooome!!!!]
*stares innocently at Kyo* Chocolates? *scrunches wrapper in hand*
[Kaoru, with mouth full of chocolate]
*to shinya* Mommy *smirk, smirk*, since you're dying, can I have your car? *looks haughtily at toshiya* I just saved you. Would you rather have your face caught in between train doors? *turns to Kaoru* You could’ve dropped me, you know. Do we still have some chocolates left?
[Kyo, suddenly talkative]
HEY! Get your own husband, Totchi! *throws protective arm around Die* And please, stop whining... you're giving me a headache...
Kyo, my, uh, son... stop biting people! And as for you... *smiles at Die* you better buy me a ring once we get back home!
[Shinya, thinking of a good reward]
*Stands just outside the train in front of train doors, glaring at Kaoru* Hey, what right have you to divorce me? I demand a lawyer! *train buzzes, door's about to close* Hmph, fine, be like that. I go to Die instead... What the--? Ow!!! *gets dragged in by Kyo, shoulder sports huge bruise where feral bandmate bit* Hey! be careful! I'm delicate, you know! *sniffle* Kaoruuuuuuu!!! Kyo-chan bit meeee!!!!!
[Toshiya, whines echoing in the train car]
*throws arm around Toshiya, hoists Kyo up shoulder, dodges train station security--doesn't have ticket, don't you know* Home! We're going hoooooommmmeee!!! Wheeeeeeee~~!!! *leaps into train just as doors close*
[Kaoru, embarrassing the hell out of his bandmates]
*could die from sheer exhaustion* Shin-chan you're heavy. And your elbow's digging in my rib. You better marry me when you get well! I expect to be rewarded generously! *evil smile* Oi, Totchi, Kaoru, you're gonna be left behind!
[Die, boarding the train and dragging Shinya after him]
*squirms, Kaoru has good grip* Oy, *choke* put me down. *points* See that, the train's coming.
[Kyo, out of air]
*raises eyebrow at Toshiya's outstretched hand* Didn't I just divorce you? You called me short. No chocolate. *sticks out tongue*
*picks up Kyo and stalks off after Die and Shinya* I hope the train gets here soon. Kyo, don't drool on me.
[Kaoru, has no use for chocolate-grubbing ex-wives]
*cry thanks to Eye-mo and Kyo's cue* Shinya... you will die... *cries some more* Kaoru... Shinya will die... *wails* Die-kun how can you think of marriage at a time like this?!!! Baka yarou! *wails some more. Shut up only if Kaoru gives more chocolate... Toshiya don't forget!* More please.
[Toshiya, holds out grubby hand at Kaoru, need to be fed, please!]
Shinya's dying? *digests information after listening to Kaoru's story* And it's my fault? *Kaoru nods head, Toshiya's crying* Are you sure it's not Die's? *thinks for a moment* I think I'd better go and say sorry...and maybe ask for his car, Shinya won't be needing it anymore.
[Kyo, user-friendly]
Kyaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!!! *shoves Kaoru away from bishounen* You're molesting my wife, you dirty twenty-eight year old pervert!!!! *grabs Shinya away from everyone and holds him very dearly...* Shin-chan, don't worry! I'll get a priest to marry us right now!
*carries Shinya like a damsel in distress* Coming through you assholes! My son just gave my wife rabies!!!! *hurries Shinya to the train station leaving dust clouds in his wake*
[Die, Kaoru, you slut, you'll pay!!!]
*glares at Toshiya--how dare he!* Who you calling short? Bitch. I want a divorce.
*kneels over Shinya, sick with worry* Oh, Shin-chan, you're dying! Die, quit blubbering! We have to save him!
*administers mouth-to-mouth resuscitation*
[Kaoru, knows his first aid]
*huddles closer to Kaoru... towering over the short man* Yeah, mister, I'm the wife *wink, wink* Don't worry, Kao Kao, when we get home, I'm gonna... *gasp!* Shinya, don't wear tampons? You and Die are so messy!
[Toshiya, shokku!]
AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!! Owww!!! GET OFF!!! *tries to shake Kyo off his thigh* Husband, help me!!! Our son's trying to eat my leg again!!
[Shinya, digging his nails into Die's back]
*stares after Die, Kyo and Shinya, scratches head* You have a love child and you didn't tell me? *looks back at Toshiya and train station guy* Hey, I was not molesting him, okay? (He's a guy, see?) Still... *pokes Toshiya's nonexistent love handles* nurse's uniform, okay? Kakakakaka! Let's go, lovely wife! *throws arm around Toshiya and runs off to join the, uh, "family"*
Oy, what the-- AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! SHIN-CHAN, YOU'RE BLEEDING!!!!
[Kaoru, asking the all-important question: Do bishounen get periods?]
Nahhhhhh!?!?!?! *half awake and has no idea what was going on* OW!!!! Kuso...*head just slamed against something hard, squints with a vengeance at the first thing he sees* You...*opens mouth and then bites...HARD*
[Kyo, who's mouth is clamped on Shinya's thigh]
I... what? *sees train station jerk* Oh, uh... hi there mister. I was just going home with my wife *grabs Shinya, shoves Shinya's face into train station guy's face* when our son *grabs Kyo, shoves his sleeping, drooling face into train station guy's face* suffered an epileptic attack because his uncle *grabs Kaoru, shoves Kaoru's face into train station guy's face* is molesting his aunt *grabs Totchi, shoves Totchi's face into train station guy's face* so my son ate my shirt and now we're on our way home coz my ass is freezing like hell and my wife is going into labor (how's that gonna happen, Shin-chan isn't pregnant... what the hell) and... Bye! BYE!
*grabs Kyo and Shinya and makes a run for it... stupid fucking train people!*
[Die, carrying Shin-chan over his shoulder and half-dragging a sleeping Kyo]
*gapes at Toshiya* You wanna take a bath? In the river? I just pissed in that! Eew!
*starts to walk away, notices there's company* Oh hello there. Who you? Eh? Train station security?
Eh heh heh heh. *points to Die* Yeah, that's him, the one who looks like a giant lollipop. Oy, Die, I think this guy wants to arrest you for indecent exposure. Kakakakaka.
[Kaoru, wishes he had popcorn]
J--j--JUNIOR????!!! *looks ready to die* Totchi how could you?!! Shin-chan you're my only hope now!
[Die, shocked!]
WARNING...
*evil smile* you pervert minded leader-on-top, want to see me in nurse uniform? *wink* Sure, but First, I want to take a bath. I don't want to take the train with this awful smell... Second, I'm not reading romance novels ok~ NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!!!! Three...*blush* ...Kaoru, not now...
[Toshiya, Junior is naughty ]
*thinking* Should I go for Totchi or Shin-chan...? *wondering* Which one of them is a girl anyway?
[Die, does not know that both are male anyway]
WARNING!!!
*sits bolt upright, wide awake--- oooh, perkiness!* Hey baby where are ya?? I'm comin' to get ya!! *looks around, but no young, fleet-footed bishoujo in sailor fuku anywhere* Ekk... *disappointed, lies back down*
*...then sees... Totchi giggling beside Shin-chan!!!*
*pounces on Toshiya and tackles him to the ground* Promise you'll wear a white nurse's uniform in our next live?? Promise??? *genki as hell, pinches Toshiya's cheek*
(The world would be a much happier place if no one makes fun of Kaoru Junior. Hear that, you large glandular freak?)
*sniffs, wrinkles nose* Ne, Totchi, you really need a bath.
[Kaoru, lalalalalala]
*stare at the sky with blurry eyes*..... *sign* .....
*turns to shinya* Shin-chan, are you sure that's all he need? *sob*
*got a nod and a smile from shinya*
ok.... *stands up and moves to kaoru* (left shinya and die, alone)
*wondering if Kaoru is really sleeping, decided to play with him in punishment for leaving Totchi* Psss~~ *no response* (good, he's asleep!)
*tip toe, moves closer without realizing Kaoru was only pretending to sleep* Kaoru~ (let's see if you dare to leave me again!) hehehe... *SMACK!* *runs back to Shinya and Die, pretending nothing happened*
Hiya, I'm back. Who wants to take a bath with me? *wink, wink*
[Toshiya, naughty]
*sees Shinya and Totchi together* Hey, no fair! How come the bishounen stick together??? What about me??? *whines*
*perks up* Hey, Shin-chan, can I wash your legs when you take a bath? And Totchi... I wouldn't mind... *gets kicked by Kaoru, who's pretending to sleep next to Kyo* Ow! Okay, okay! I won't touch Toshiya! *mutter, mutter* I thought he was asleep...
Shin-chan... *saunters up to Shinya* (you're a goner, sweetheart!)
[Die, even hornier than Kaoru]
*gapes at Toshiya* "Why has thou... forsaken...?" Oh my gawd, Totchi, you've been reading romance novels??? ~_~; I must be getting old... *lies down on the ground, leaning back against Kyo* Mmmm... nice soft warm Kyo-chan. (Eep, I hope he didn't hear me call him -chan!) Feels like a futon...
*yawns* Oy, Shin-chan! How come you're not beating up Die?
*drifts off to sleep, dreaming of fresh-faced young bishoujo in nurse's uniform* droooooolll...
[Kaoru, the old pervert, horny as hell]
*face turns completely red at the sight of Die with no shirt on* Aaaah.... not yet!
*panics, goes to Toshiya instead* There, there, Toshiya, stop crying ne? *strokes Totchi's head* Kaoru just needs a bath, that's all, I'm sure he'll say sorry later. Anyway, I'll stay with you for a while, ok? Do you need a bath too? I'll help you... just as long as I don't have to go near him! *refuses to look at Die, but still as red as ever*
[Shinya, ready to die of embarrassment]
*traumatized* What!! Kaoru throws glares at me!! NOooooo~~ *over shocked, tears freezed*
...Die said I've got to learn to play alone...*sob* what does it mean... *sob*...
*murmurs* kaoru....*weeps* why...*crouch* why did you left me... *feeling miserable*why hast thou forsaken me... *soft voice* nobody wants Totchi...
[Toshiya, traumatized...in pain...]
*watches his friends frolic in the river before seeing Kaoru heading towards him* Oh no... it's the 'Kyo-chan-you-don't-think-junior-IS-junior-don't-you?’ expression *wipes chocolate from his mouth, succeeds in smearing it all over his right cheek* What I wouldn't give to throw myself into a well... *looks around until he notices the ground underneath him* hmmm, convenient... *waste no time curling beside a mossy rock and closes his eyes* If I pretend *yawn* I'm sleeping *yawn* he'll go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
[Kyo, asleep...again]
*sneers at leader-san* hey, you don't have to be mean! Ok, so who would be interested in that little dickie of yours anyway??? *huff* And Totchi, learn to play alone. Leader-san has a fish in his pants and you won't like that... eeew, is that a goldfish? Or is the goldfish biting leader-san's worm? Let's find out! *smirk*
What...? Oh! *smiles sweetly* Shin-chan, I'm coming for ya!! *you asked for this, bishounen!!!*
[Die, taking off his shirt...]
OT: Excuse me while I wipe off my nosebleed!!!
WARNING!!!
*finishes business, zips up* What piloting lessons? I don't know what you're talking about.
*glares at Die and Toshiya* I don't need help, I am perfectly capable of pissing by myself. *mumble, mumble* You both need to get laid. (*thinks to self* Hell I need to get laid. But not with you. *death-rays*)
*realizes what Die just said* IT IS NOT LITTLE!!! Fuck you, just because you have a turnip in your pants! I'm a human being, not a freak of nature like you!
*goes off to join Kyo* At least I know Kyo's crazy.
[Kaoru, very proud of his Junior]
WARNING...
*sees Die staring at Kaoru's
thing*
*yells to Dai Dai* HEY, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!! THAT'S MINE!!!
*runs to Kaoru* Kaoru-san, need help? *turns to Die* Shinya is waiting for you there, (ok, so I made it up. Shinya isn't waiting) now, go go go... *pushes Die away*
*goes back to Kaoru and ~smile~*
*am I beautiful?*
*?!*
[Toshiya, it's hot down there...]
*looks curiously over to Kaoru* Hey, leader-san, what's that little... oh my gawd is that a fish biting? Didn't know your Junior'd make good bait... *sniggers, walks up closer to Kaoru, away from the bishounen band-mates who make him blush* Ok, leader-sama, now don't be shy, I know you and Totchi have an... *sees Kaoru's murderous look* Ahem, but you don't have to tell us if you don't want... And there's still a fish hanging from your...
Eeeew. Kaoru, you're so fucking messy!!!
[Die, staring at the mess that is Kaoru's pants]
*breaks off chunk of chocolate and puts it in Kyo's gaping mouth* Good little Miya-chan. Skirts don't taste good. I know...
River? Where? Oh. We'll take a bath in that? *has visions of five men frolicking in river* Eew, how unsanitary! What if there are fish there? What if they bite my privates? *scratches neck--can't remember when last bath was*
I need a bathroom too. Oh hell... *goes to side of river and unzips*
[Kaoru, sees water, suddenly needs to go pee-pee]
*eyebrow twitches, grins at Kyo* Really, you'll eat Shinya's skirt??? *gets up, happy as hell* Yeah, Shin-chan let's take a bath in the river... I'll wash you and the others can go home if they want! *twinkling mischievous eyes*
[Die, dragging poor abused Shinya after him]
Aww, Kaoru, Totchi! You guys look cute! But oi, Leader-sama...*tugs at Kaoru's sleeve* please give Kyo something. Give him my share of chocolate or whatever. I don't want him tearing up my skirt!
*walks on some more* Hey! I think there's a river nearby~~ anyone wanna go take a bath?
[Shinya, feels like taking a bath too]
*stomach starts acting up, moves beside Shinya* Oi, get me some chocolates from Kaoru.
If I wanted to do it myself then I wouldn't have asked you... *glares enough to melt Shinya's non-existent body fat* No, I'm not asking Die for anything.
*widens his eyes for a full blown Kyo-stare* I'll eat your skirt.
[ Kyo, desperate times call for desperate measures]
There aren't? *crestfallen* Ok...
But there's a bus to home right? *hopeful*
[Die, needs a bathroom right about...]
*flees* Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! hide-samaaaaaaaaaa!!!
(Why am I running? I'm Kaoru. Geez.)
*stumbles right into station platform* Owie! Totchi, you're heavy... *stares mournfully at cigarette, which broke in half* Look what you made me do. Oops, I mean-- *hugs Toshiya as he starts to sob again* There, there. Actually, I need a bath too. My clothes stink of Die's puke. *scratches back of neck*
*calls to Die* There aren't any cabs here, baka. We're on a mountain. Let's go look for a toilet.
[Kaoru, can't walk straight with Totchi clamped around his neck]
*hugs Kaoru TIGHT, eyes glimmering with tears* Train station? A cab? Whatever, I want to go home... *looks up at Kaoru with his teary-eye-attack...still doesn't want to let go of him* hey, Kaoru, Totchi is tired, Totchi wants to rest. Totchi is dirty. Totchi wants a tub bath. Totchi is hungry. Totchi is.... *scream* AH!!! SPIDER!!!! HELP!!! *koala-hug Kaoru* RUN~ RUN~ RUN!!!! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!! AHHhhh~~
[ Toshiya, "there's no place like home"]
*sits on the ground. Doesn't care about Shinya anymore* At least he dropped us off near civilization. *clutches head in misery* My head hurts.
*looks up at Kaoru's expectant gaze* Train station? What train station? Can't we just get a cab???
[Die, still needs a bathroom]
*is fumbling with chocolate wrapper when driver nudges him* Yeah, driver-san? Eh? What??? Hey, listen, just because Die puked on you doesn't mean he-- Don't poke your walkie-talkie in Kyo's face or I'll make you swallow it! *huffs* Calling the police! Honestly! Come on, guys, we're getting off!
*lights cigarette, glowers at driver* It's not pot, loser. *stands protectively in front of Kyo and Die* Maybe you've been shooting up. Hmph. See if you can go to another concert after what you've done to us. You hear me?
*puts arm around Toshiya* Don't cry, Totchi. See those tracks over there? There must be a train station. There must! *sticks middle finger out at truck, which is speeding away*
Who wants chocolate?
[Kaoru--insult his band mates and you die]
*huge Shin-chan tightly and sticks tongue out at Totchi* Nyaaah! No way! Shin-chan stays with me!!!
*Driver swats at hand after attempt to clean up* Eh? Don't you want me to help you clean up? *mutter mutter* People are such jerks these days... fuck, my head hurts again. Kaoru... painkillers? *droopy eyes*
[Die, not letting Shinya sit on anyone else's lap]
*looks at kyo as he munched on his sleeves* my shirt... *turns to kaoru* hey, you should give him the chocolate, I don't want to be "eaten" by him later... *feeling crying as kyo continued deforming his DESIGNER TOP* my expensive designer top… miya-chan…hmmm, can you sit on someone else? Shinya, wanna swap? *begging* Pleaseee~
[Toshiya, can't take it anymore]
*horrified* Driver-san, daijoubu? *stands up, helps driver wipe off puke* It's not anyone's fault, OK? Even if... ugh... *grimaces at the disgusting smell*
Ne, leader-sama, you better give Kyo something. Totchi's sleeve is getting torn by the minute. *turns to Die* And you, Dai Dai, how are you feeling now? Is your lap clean? *happily sits down again* I moved a little, yes?
[Shinya, feeling dizzy yet content]
How is it my fault? *gapes at puked-on driver, horrified* Die, you braindead moron!
*gags from stench* I think I'm gonna puke too. *sticks head out of window and hurls, but nothing comes out* Ne, Dai Dai, next time, puke in the bag.
*notices Kyo squirming on Toshiya's lap* Oh, hey Kyo, you're awake. Um, you are awake already, right? Don't gnaw on poor Totchi's sleeve.
*fingers chocolate bar in pocket, considers if he should give Kyo a piece* Uh-oh... Totchi, your sleeve isn't looking good...
[Kaoru, hopes no one tells Kyo who ate his share of chocolate]
*jostles shinya forward to hold plastic bag in front of face which is turning horribly green* Oh my lord I'm going to die... remind me again whose fault this is...?
*truck jolts over hump, Shinya slips forward from lap* Wha--Shin-chan, what're you doing on the floor? *hauls Shinya back on lap, jostling Kyo and Toshiya* Poor baby... *pats Shinya's head like a mommy* Don't worry I'll hold you tighter--
*let's go and pukes all over driver* Fuck. I'm gonna DIE! *wipes teary eyes, makes sure Shinya didn't get puked on. Shinya still clean. Pats Shinya's head again and clings tighter, sniffing neck like a cat (actually trying to evade people who might blame him for the puke)* Ugh... Kaoru, this is all your fault.
[Die, teary-eyed, disgruntled and still queasy in a truck stinking of puke--not his fault!]
*stares dumbly at surroundings *Dai...did you crash the car into the ocean? *looks around and notices that Dir en Grey tachi aren't present inside of what appears to be a futuristic one man pod-thingamajig; but a teddy bear who is almost as tall as him is* *glares at bear for lack of someone to stare at* Kaoru if this is your idea of a joke...
*bear slowly turns its head and is now having a normal conversation* I'm supposed to find a what? *listens more* A purple fairy?!
*squints as murky dark water is engulfed in light and a figure appears---with plastic wings* Oy Kaoru, stop floating around. Get me and Teddy-chan-san out of here.
*glares as Purple Fairy/Kaoru starts talking without moving his lips* I get a wish? Hey! Aren't I supposed to get three? *mumbles* stingy leader...
*looks at the stuffed bear* No, Teddy-chan-san I'm already a real boy er, man... *glare* Shut up or I'll eat you.
*turns to Purple Fairy/Kaoru* My wish is... I want a BIG P--- *stares in surprise as Purple Fairy/Kaoru waves his sparkly wand* *Loud 'POP' and lots of smoke* Yaro, I'm not finished yet...
*freezes when a singsong voice screamed:'Miya-chan'* NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*And then wakes up*
[Kyo, who just wanted PIE]
Oh, for fuck's sake...! *rummages around glove compartment, finds plastic bag, shoves it into Die's hand* Okay, fine, here, take a puff. Just one! I'm not giving you an entire stick. *checks pack* I've got only three left! Argh! *whacks self* How am I going to make them last until we get back home?
*hunches into seat, plots, strategizes, schemes. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!*
[Kaoru, with three sticks and a long way from home]
*looks hurt* Hey, I didn't mean for that to happen! *rubs shoulder, looking pissed* fine, be like that! *huff*
Shin-chan, please (and I'm asking nicely this time ok, no more hentai innuendoes) move your skinny ass a bit. I'm gonna get sick... *whining* Kaoru, give me a stick or I'll puke on everyone!
[Die, turning green but still perky]
OT: This thing needs a higher rating. Not PG-13!
*ears turn impossibly hot and greenish red*
*punches Die's shoulder. hard.*
*absently takes poor Shin-chan's hand, pats it in commiseration*
*puts Kyo's share of chocolate in mouth, ignoring sick pervert beside him*
You don't get cigarettes either.
*puffs away like a maniac*
[Kaoru, never knew he was still capable of being scandalized]
Hey look, since Kyo's asleep, can I get his share of chocolate too? And how come you're not sharing the cigarettes??? Poor people like us need to smoke too! *looks droopy*
Hey, Shin-chan, mind shifting a bit? Your sitting on my... *sees Kaoru's murderous look* er, never mind (ow, this is getting tight!)
[Die, sensitive parts getting... er, perky]
*slaps Die's hands* Oy, oy, hentai cow, don't molest the children or I won't give you any chocolate.
*squeezes right in, barely able to close door* Driver-san, get a move on.
*unwraps chocolate bar and breaks off about a third* Okay. I don't know how far it is to Tokyo, so we have to make this last. *checks on snoring Kyo, whose head lolls to his side and drool dribbles down Toshiya's arm* Can you believe our luck? Nyehehehe!
*breaks chocolate into equal-size chunks and passes them around*
[Kaoru-mommy, rewarding the children]
*looks around him with a smile that almost made Kaoru give him a small chocolate bar and Die to abandon Shinya 'cause he looked like such a little boy* Somebody out there must really, really like us.
*looks behind him to see Toshiya in another fit of tears* Yep. Most definitely. *without warning, he licks Toshiya's face*
*shrugs at the poleaxed expression on his band mates face* I was thirsty.
*closes eyes and promply drifts into sleep.
[Kyo, leaning against Toshiya content]
*grabs Shinya by the waist and sits bishounen on lap, laughing maniacally* Mwahahaha. You sit on my lap, babe! *hentai grin, hand rests dangerously close to sexy legs, hyperventilates from excitement*
*turns to Kaoru, looks enviously at cigarette and chocolate in leader-sama's hands* Totchi, why'd you have to give the chocolate to the evil leader? *mutter mutter, tightens arms around Shinya who squirms helplessly*
[Die, burying face in Shin-chan's back... hmm, smells good!]
*google-eyed* Wah! Chocolate! *could kiss Totchi right now, but won't because will never hear end of it from Die*
*leader-sama mode* Driver-san, our car crashed and we need to get back to Tokyo. Well, of course there's five of us. We can squeeze in, we're not fat.
Everybody in. Die, Totchi, sit Kyo and Shinya on your laps.
*lights another cigarette. to celebrate, you know*
[Kaoru, not sitting anyone on his lap because he's leader]
*standing still, eyes following the truck* Oh my God, there's a truck! *criying the tears of joy*
*runs back to kaoru,grabs his hands, and starting to jump up and down* Ah~~ There is a truck! There is a hope! We can go back! Yeah yeah yeah~ *hands him the chocolate* Here, you take it. Be responsible for it! (stupid toshiya, you need not to remind Kaoru for being Responsible)
*smiles at kyo* Kyo! We can go home finally, are you happy? *smile again*
[Toshiya, too happy to be true]
Die! Stop that! *blushing* Arrgh, why me... here goes nothing...
*gently lifts up skirt, sticks out one of his pale legs as a truck nears*
Oi, can we bum a ride?! Leader-sama, look! The truck is actually stopping... now we won't have to walk all the way home!
The only problem is that chocolate. *sidles up to Toshiya* come on, Totchi... give it back!
[Shinya, quite proud of his legs]
*sighs, grabs Die's collar and drags him to roadside*
Go, Shin-chan!
[Kaoru, stressed and puffing away like a maniac]
*jumps up, almost drools with excitement* I get to see Shin-chan's legs!!! Come on, Shin-chan, put 'em up, babe! *manic grin*
[Die, all hentai thoughts and raging hormones included]
*stops in the middle of chasing Toshiya; squints* Hey, are those headlights over there? I forgot to bring my glasses. Shin-chan, flag it down if it's a vehicle. Flash a leg or something. We need to get home.
*shakes head* Can't believe Die had a bright idea. The world must be planning to end soon. Totchi, hand over that chocolate.
[Kaoru, tired and hungry]
*looks at Toshiya with a snotty-little-brat-new-member look* Leader-sama, I think your chicks need to be disciplined. *glowers at Kyo* Meanie...
*sighs, looks reflective and intelligent (rare for Die!)* Anyway, shouldn't we all just be getting home so we can smoke and eat chocolate? *stomach growls* I'm HUNGRY!!!
*gets up, brain starts working from this moment* You know what, let's just hitchhike or something. *pulls sleeves of shirt* I need a friggin' bathroom soon!
[Die, with a nervous twitch]
*runs after Totchi* Dammit, Toshiya! That's MY CHOCOLATE! I FOUND IT! And since when did you start talking about religion?! Give it back!
[Shinya, furious]
*stomps off to where Die is sitting on the ground.*
You yaro...*steals back his smoke and ignores Die's whining* I'm thirsty *mutters to himself as he watched Kaoru run after Toshiya* Hope he ends up crying again...
Oi, Shinya. Got a carrot stick stuck in there somewhere? *Shinya just blinks back at him*
[Kyo, innuendo not intended]
*loses interest in Shinya, runs after Toshiya* Totchi!!! Totchi!!! *huff, puff on cigarette, blow* Damn, I missed him. *puff, sits on ground, pouts* I WANT THAT CHOCOLATE TOO!!!
[Die, disconsolate over the lost candy bar]
*gallops after Toshiya* COME BACK HERE WITH THAT CHOCOLATE!!!
[Kaoru, does not forgive chocolate thieves]
STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! Can't you guys stop arguing! Didn't I just said that my head hurts! *really annoyed and started to circle around Kaoru* "I need fresh air, fresh air...I need to chill down, chill...chill..." *trying to get fresh air but only happened to inhale what Kaoru exhaled* *cough* (didn't realize that he is breathing in the smoke of the cigarette. Most probably because he bumped his head during the car crash)
"why am I coughing?" asks himself. *cough, and walks around again* Am I sick? no, I think I just need food. YES, FOOD! That's it, FOOD! *turns to Shinya and smiles~* Hey, best friend~ (since when and where and how?!) Know what, your chocolate bar is causing division among us now. Therefore, it's definitely a evil thing to be kept. Isn't it sinful and sad! But, don't worry my friend, I'll help you. Just give it to me. I'll painstakingly handle it for you. *runs to Shinya and grabs the chocolate bar from him*
Don't worry, don't worry, there will be no more troubles anymore... *trying to ensure Shinya after all the talk and talk*
[Toshiya, sacrified himself to save Shinya from keeping that food of the devil]
Oi! *grabs Kaoru by braids, pulls him back* I sooooo did not crash into the mountainside! And who's fault was it anyway that the lighter fluid leaked and the car exploded? Was it me? *sticks tongue out at Kaoru like a kid* You're just saying that because you want all the band cigarettes to yourself! *mutter mutter*
*turns to Kyo, now with genki expression* Really? Really? I can puff??? Waaaaaiii!! Kawaiiii Kyo-chaaaaan! *grabs cigarette from Kyo and takes deep drag, savoring the heavenly flavor of Kaoru's Mild Seven Lights* Aaaah. Thank God. *does not return cigarette, promptly ignores Kyo*
*turns to Shinya, winks, uses irresistible Die charm on Shinya* Shin-chan... *pout, looks cute* You want to walk with me...? *looks cuter, gives Shinya irresistible Die smile (TM)* Leader-san has his Totchi anyway... *pout, flutters eyelashes, licks lips* Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase????? *gives Shinya sexy look... ends up looking like a moron. falls over*
*brushes back hair* Uh, I meant to do that... (baka Die...) *turns back to Shinya, puffing on Kyo's cigarette* So will you? Huh? I promise I won't peek under your skirt! *evil hentai grin disguised as cute, irresistible Die grin* And share your chocolate... PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASE???
[Die, not returning Kyo's cigarette]
*looks at the stick in his hands and then back at Die's large head looming in front of him* If you carry me on piggy back I will...
[Kyo, little boy smile in his face]
Whu-- Who's being selfish? Here I am trying to be a good leader-sama and get us away from this mountain that you crashed into, and you're accusing me of... I have no time for this. *puff. blow. puff. blow* Hentai... Kids, don't speak to the bad man with no cigarettes.
*suddenly goes googly-eyed* Shin-chan, what's that? Oy! *makes a grab for the chocolate* Share, you!
[Kaoru, stomach rumbling]
*wicked grin* Ne, Dai Dai, I heard that! Are you jealous?! *winks* Come on, Miya-chan, start walking!
And oi, can't any of you not think of smoking at a time like this? All this smoke is irritating... *frowns* To think it's still a long way off... we better go find that train station, I'm getting hungry... *continues to walk, shoves hand into pocket*
Hmm, what's this? *holds up a slightly squished chocolate bar* Aaahh, chocolate! Perfect. Now I won't starve until we get back! *big grin*
[Shinya, thinking about how much to eat]
*looks at Kaoru, wants to bash his head for taking Shinya along too!* Akuma... selfish bastard... *mutter, mutter*
*turns to Kyo* Oi, you, Miya-chan! Get off your butt. We have to follow them (and hope they don't somehow dive into a bush, have a go, and leave us out... how evil, not sharing a smoke! And to the poor, injured, deprived driver of the Dir car as well! Oh the injustice!) *mutter mutter. Looks up, realizes Kyo has Kaoru's cigarette*
*puts on poor-deprived-Die-you're-nice-to-him-aren't-you-coz-he-drives-you-home look* Can I have a puff? Please? Pretty please? And I promise I won't call you short... *glares at Kaoru's, Toshiya's and Shinya's backs* Leader-sama's in his bitch-mode again...
[Die, who suddenly developed a brain and starts following Kaoru, Toshiya and Shinya]
*nimbly jumps out of the way as Die lunges* Oy, oy, keep away from my sticks! I've only got five to last me until we get home. Kyo, you owe me dinner for that. *follows suit and lights cigarette on flames* I'm not sharing.
*realizes not letting Toshiya smoke may be a bad, BAD idea* Uh... *looks longingly at five remaining cigarettes*
*nope, not sharing*
We'd better start walking. *takes Toshiya and Shinya by the hand and goes off into the, er, sunset*
[Kaoru, babysitting]
*grabs head* Ah~ My head hurts! (the result of a drunkard who survived from a burning car and now, over-inhaled the smoke of a cigarette) *swaying head side to side* My head really hurts...I want to go home. Where is the train station? I am tired! I am scared! I am...*sniffing*... I am... *oh no*... I am... *crying again*...
*looked at kaoru with his teary eyes* Kao-ru?
*looked at Shinya with his innocent eyes* Shin-chan?
*looked at Die with his "desperate" look* Dai-Dai?
*looked at kyo* ...
*bawl* It's hopelss, it's hopeless!
[Toshiya, hysteric and crying again (and again) ]
*stands up and swipes a stick from unsuspecting Kaoru* Ano...What are you doing?
*Kaoru does not answer, still busy rubbing stones together*
Lighter?
*Doesn't see any so he stalks back to the burning car humming Audrey*
*Gets close enough to a flame and lights his cigarette*
*Goes back where Kaoru, Die and Toshiya are huddled and blows smoke in their collective faces*...so, what have we got here?
*stare* *stare* *stare*
Uh...doshite?
[Kyo, with a smoke but without a clue]
*looks at Shinya as if he grew two heads, brightens* Hey... Shin-chan's cheering me up! *leery little grin* Ne... ne... Shin-chan...! *winks, flutters eyelashes, winks again, looks like he's going blind, snorts when ignored*
Ugh, Shin-chan's so boring... Not playing nice... You and Miya-chan are meanies. *pout*
Kao, what the hell are you trying to do with those stones? And why aren't you sharing that? *lunges after Kaoru's cancer stick* GIVE!!!!
[Die, too needs a smoke, you selfish bastard Kaoru!]
*freezes* Oh my hide-sama! Er... *awkwardly pats Toshiya's head* There, there, Totchi. I'm sure there must be a train station that can take us back to Tokyo. (And we can use you and Shinya for hitch-hiking, he he.) Here, *feeling uncharacteristically generous* have a smoke.
*gives cigarette to Toshiya, then flicks lighter* Uh, okay, it's not lighting... Crap! *it's Toshiya's broken lighter* NOOOO!!! Don't do this to me!!!
*grabs cigarette from Toshiya and puts it in own mouth*
*grabs two stones and strikes them together to make fire*
[Kaoru, really needs to smoke. Please!]
*scared of the burning car, on the verge of tears* Kaoru, what are we going to do? *weeps softly* I'm scared...this place is scary... I wanna go home...I dont want to stay here... *moves to kaoru* Kaoru-san,* moves closer* protect me, protect me... *grab on Kaoru's shirt and buries head in his chest*
[Toshiya, trying to seek protection from the almighty leader Kaoru-sama]
Aaaack! *grabs Totchi and makes a run for it*
Yeah, Kaoru, we're fine. *gazes at the burning car* Tsk, tsk. OK, Dai Dai, stop whining, it's not your fault...
Toshiya, oi, get off! Kaoru's got another lighter, so he's not gonna kill you. *sigh* What are we gonna do, what are we gonna do...
[Shinya, looking at Kaoru expectantly]
*snorts* If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck....
*takes eyes off indignant Die and turns to Kaoru*
What are we going to do now?
[Kyo, starting to find the ground comfortable]
*sits on floor, rubs butt, glares at Kaoru* Kao, I think you bruised my sensitive spot...
*looks up, spots Kyo glaring, blinks* Hey, it's not MY fault we're not home yet, your royal shortness! *looks wounded, glares at Shinya, Toshiya and Kaoru, pouts* Look at that! *points at burning car on mountainside, ignores heat waves radiating from burning car* Does that look like I caused it? Huh? Huh?
[Die, indignant because everyone's blaming his drunk-driving skills which had never failed them before]
*looks at the four people taller than him and his glare settles at Die* We're not there yet.
[Kyo, sitting on the ground]
Ahh--! *throws car door open, rummages frantically, and grabs first lighter he sees* Now run! *flies*
*flies back* Oops, forgot Kyo! Baka! *grabs Kyo and flies again* Kyo, when was the last time you took a bath?
*car explodes. that's what it was gonna do!* You guys okay?
[Kaoru, has bits of windshield flying at his hair]
*stops sniffling, looks at Toshiya* Eh? Totchi pissed in my car? Your pants are dripping... *squints at Toshiya's butt* oh lighter fluid... *scratches head* What were we going to do again? *gives Kaoru stupid, airhead Die look* And where's Kyo? *taps fingers on hood, calls into car in a singsong voice* Miya-chan, come out~!
[Die, feeling quite genki after crying and puking]
*wakes up bleary eyed* Oy! *grunt* Are we there yet?
[Kyo, just woke up and wiping his drool]
*searching for the lighter*...uh, kaoru...I think the lighter is still in the car...it fell out from my pocket i guess...*still searching*...wait, wait, wait...uh, kaoru, i think, no, yes, i mean...ok, it's broken. I crushed it...
*moving slowly toward Shinya* hey, Shinya, hide me...i dont wanna die yet...
[Toshiya, hiding at the back of Shinya and peeping at Kaoru's face]
Ah~~*wakes up, manages to get out of car unscathed*
K'so! *hic* How are we gonna go home?! *hic* And Kyo, where's Kyo... *hic* Of all the times to be drunk!
Kaoru, now what'll we do? *hic* I wonder how far it is to Tokyo...
[Shinya, still quite drunk]
Die, get off the car, now. *gets creeping feeling very much akin to... panic?* There's a very good reason why we shouldn't be near the car. *doesn't know*
Totchi, get the hell outta there. You have the band lighter. Give! *reaches into car, bumps against steering wheel* Shinya? Wake up. *doesn't see Kyo. not surprised*
Die, why are you hugging the car? Why isn't anyone listening to me? Someone pay attention to me. Get-Away-From-Car!
[Kaoru, ignored, seriously needs a smoke]
Gosh, what's all this? Someone help me get out of this car, I'm stuck! *trying to break free but rolled out instead*
Ouch...*showing signs of crying* it hurts...*almost crying* WAaaah~ *crying*
[Toshiya, sitting on the floor and crying]
Eh? *looks at Kaoru stupidly* Urusai yo! See! *points at mointainside* See what that thing did to my stupid car?!! It *huff* fucking *huff* wrecked *runs to side of the road, pukes guts off, saunters back to car* my *huff, kicks car* CAR!!! *sniffle* Mommy will kill me... *sniffle, sobs on car's hood*
*starts hiccuping from sobbing and booze* Oh fuck. I hate this.
[Die, all teary-eyed and pathetic, sitting on the hood]
*stumbles out of car and fumbles to close door. hair caught. doesn't notice* Wuh--! Did I leave the sink on? *blinks* Totchi, borrow lighter? *starts to walk away, springs back, now notices hair* Fuck! *opens door and shakes hair free*
How did we get here? Die, what are you doing? Oy, get away from the car!
[Kaoru, suddenly cold sober but not knowing why (yet)]
*weaves drunkenly out of wrecked car, checks front, which is smashed on the side of the mountain* Aaaah! Mou~! *kicks car* Fucking dumb thing....! *kicks car* Iteee... now it's hurting my damn foot... *kicks car*
[Die needing to puke on the side of the road]
