I WANT IT NOW, GIVE ME YOUR HEART AND YOUR SOUL...

SongMood-Awake in This Dream... >>Jacob Hoggard Andy Jo Jon powered by SignMyGuestbook.com Moving On Past References Tick tock, Tick tock, Tick tock.... How ya'll doing this fine day of October? Things with me are going the usual up and down. Really, what would be an up without a down? So everyone needs to go out and download the song "What U Waiting 4?" by Gwen Stefani. It's my new favorite song. I'm totally addicted to it. It's almost scary. School's going alright a little better than I thought it would go,although this semesters courses are much easier, especially considering 2 of them are computer based and the teacher is easy..everyone gets A's in his class and if they don't, they must be really, really, really stupid. Which is kind of sad. My previous entry that was written, I thought was pretty good. But yet, no response. So I'm waiting, and waiting. Maybe that's why I like the Gwen song so much. What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting, What you waiting For? I can't be expected to just keep trying, I'm mean please, for the little I said it's not even comparable. So anytime, ya give a shout out that would be great. I said my bit... now I await upon yours. And if silence is the only thing you can come up with. Than silence is what you'll get. If you dish shit out, ya gotta be able receive shit back. This goes for everyone, including myself. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes all the time. But I also attempt as well. And as I always have to say, this isn't soley directed at one person, so don't think that it is. (I really hate having to say that all the time but if I don't, my g-book fills up with a lot of crap) Anyway..in 4DAYS!! I'm going North Bay!! To see Joey and Lisa!! I'm so very excited!! I can hardly wait!! It's going to be so much fun!! PARTY PARTY PARTY!! YAY! Okies..I need to calm down, I have to get through until wednesday night...alrighty...I'm over and out... Monday, October 25, 2004 Love is only a feeling, drifting away... Everyone should download the song "Love is only a feeling" by the Darkness. I'm so loving it right now. Anyway apparently my previous entry was mistaken for an apology. I re-read it and I'm not sure how that came about but whatever people get out of what I write...is crazy to me. It's like everything I say, is taken the wrong way. It's so frustrating because people think that I'm talking about them, but if you're name is not mentioned, it's not about you. So don't assume that it is, because explaining isn't exactly my specialty. You don't get it, I get frustrated beacuse it's such a simple concept and all hell breaks loose. So it's better if you just leave it at, my name isn't mentioned...it must not be about me. Pretty easy isn't it? You'd be surprised how many people screw that up. Tons...its almost silly, the amount. So this whole past weekend had its up's and downs. But mostly downs. It was supposed to be a happy thanksgiving instead I was told off, which wasn't even called for. If it's not your fight, and you aren't involved, it's best just to stay out of it, because it only makes it worse. Trust me, I've made that mistake. But I can also understand wanting to stick up and protect your friend. I do it all the time, you just have to be able to do it at the correct time. So my thanksgiving was shit..thank you very much. Sure I loved spending time with the friends that I did, it was a blast as usual. You can definetly tell that we're growing up, because we're realizing how different we really are. Everyone, including myself. Needs to think before they speak, watch what they say, mind their tongues. However you want to put it. If you are unsure of what to say, or don't know anything about the situation at hand..just shut it. So much more simpler. No one wants to be dragged through the mud. So let me say this...you have something to say, say it... I can understand if you're mad you don't want to tell the person you're mad at, so you tell someone else, but that's the first mistake WE all make...so back this bus up....and fight your own fights.... I bet after this I'm going to get nasty messages in my g-book. Boy I can hardly wait...remember...THINK before you SPEAK...and I will attempt to do the same...but as Madonna sings "Nobody perfect, what did you expect? I'm doing my best..." Tuesday, October 12, 2004 Helpless There's so much I wish I could do. I feel so helpless and I hate feeling like this. It's Thanksgiving weekend, everyone should be happy, well I'm not. I hate to see someone hurt, it's fine if I'm hurting that's different, but when someone close to me is hurting and there's nothing I can do about it. It really bites the big one. It was bound to happen sooner or later. And was unstoppable, unforgetable and maybe in a way very much unforgiveable. So much said, so much misunderstood and so much chaos. Although with the little involvement I had, I still feel like shit. There wasn't much that I did, all I did was get frustrated for the lack of understanding. But now there are 4 walls around me, and 4 wall around those involved, just one of things...that won't be resolved (not suppose to rhyme..lol) Don't choose sides, because you shouldn't have to. Do what you want, hang out with you want. It doesn't matter. We're growing up, we're moving on...ya win some and you lose many others. Wake up to the reality, everything can't be hunky dory forever...why would you even think that? Friday, October 8, 2004 Honestly Alright so it's time to start a new, a fresh beginning. I was going to archive the lonely 2 entries but thought thatw as a little extreme. Things are getting a little better for me, although I know my moods are going to be pretty iffy, school has a lot to do with that. Sure knows how to stress people right out. Last week I thought I was getting an ulcer, this week I just wanna cry. I'm very excited for the weekend because it's THANKSGIVING!! That means TURKEY and also means FRIENDS ARE COMING HOME!! Which is so very exciting because I miss them muchly and love them muchly. So it's bound to be a rockin' good weekend. Plus I'll see my nephew...who's growing fast!! He's 15lbs, that's about the size of a 6 month old baby...yeah he's a monster!! But I love him..he's the cutest ever...anyway enough bragging. I think I'm goign to head out and do some reading...LATES~ Wednesday, October 6, 2004 Time's Up.... So it's been a week and I'm still waiting, and really it's all I can think about which is pretty pathetic. I know that this isn't a big deal and really I'm stressing over nothing but that's just how I work. I know that everything I said isn't going to accomplish anything. Some may think it's stupid and some think I was plain retarded but to those people I say...screw you. I'm sorry but that's how I feel about it. I did what I felt I needed to do. I was lying to myself and to others, it wasn't fair. Also it was eating away at me each and everytime we talked. So I said it, and I don't regret any of it. And that's the truth. I know that NOTHING will come of this and I didn't expect anything to either. Seriously there's nothing that could be done just acknowledgement and acceptance.This also gives me a peace of mind. Which frankly, I'm in desperate need of because I feel like I'm giving myself an ulcer from all this stress. So as if you would be reading this but really ya never know, people talk. Please say something, anything...because that's all I need right now and all I'm waiting for. Until than, don't mind the craziness and the continuous change of my msn name...it's just me going crazy...no worries... Saturday, October 2, 2004 Hysteria Alrighty so I decided to do some colour changing on my pita today mostly because I was slightly bored and I was also getting sick of the pink. Not much had changed since my previous and archived entry. I finally stepped up and put myself on the line, and now I'm just waiting for the processing to stop. It's really frustrating at times to understand where actually does stand. I know that I haven't screwed anything up or so I"ve been told. But as of now, there's a lot miles inbetween all that can change in one face to face conversation. Ahh well, I did what I needed to do, if I kept it in any longer it would've ruined me for sure. That would've been not such a pretty sight...anyway thats all for now... Tuesday, September 28, 2004 Kathy Lisa Tee