David Bowie is my God

if i were dating myself, i'd dump me
is that not the greatest quote ever? nicole said it the other day. anyway...tomorrow is the royal ball. since daniel canceled on me, i'm going with emily, which should be so much fun. i've always wanted to try going to a dance with a girl. i'm also excited because unbeknownst to my parents, the before and after parties are going to be at my house. i'm actually really excited to be exploring the bisexual side of myself. i know emily isn't that way, but still being in that situation may help me. i'm so exhausted with this week. it's been stress everywhere! i thought senior year was supposed to be easy. anyway...it's all pretty good except the social aspect. i'm so sad that so many people are out there with the cruelest of intentions. it's my strong belief that you should never hurt another person intentionally because it hurts that much more. i've been experiencing so much of this from my friends, and i am just having the hardest time understanding it all. diana, emma, and i went to higleys the other day though. that was fun. melissa was there also, and she bought me a mona moka cos i had no money. you know that feeling when you're so worried and stressed that it fels like your whole body is throbbing? that's how i've felt this whole week. i have a very optimistic outlook for next week though...cos from here...things can only seem to get better. i can't wait! :) good night y'all...i love you.

Is it too much to ask for?
so i wrote an essay on how the world could be so much better if we all just listened to each other. if you want to read it, email me and i'll send it to you. it was sparked from the fact that ricky and i broke up once again. then, someone glued my lock shut to my locker causing many a problems with homework and tests. i also got really sick and emma left me at school. so i had a fun week last week. this week was much better. i've been unusually horny this week though. it's funny. i'd be sitting in class squirming around and chewing on my pen. school has been fun. we got free togos today cos we're finally seniors. then annelise ajay and i went to green street and had salads. we saw wasabi tonight too. it was absolutely amazing! i loved it. it was in french, but it was still quite entertaining. well...off to bed...good night. *hugs*

Dreams of sensual passion
the title of this entry is from a poem i wrote. if you want to hear the rest of my writing...ask me about it. so i went to that senior beach trip thing...it was me, nicole, annelise, ricky, and ryan...and all the rest of the asb people. stupidly thinking that it was going to be a huge senior bonding trip, we went. not at all! it was us and them. segregated from the beginning to the end. ricky came with us though, so that made it that much better. he played frisbee with ryan. we wanted to jump each other, but he had to babysit that night. so we spent yesterday morning together. then, i went to may's surprise party, which was so much fun. eric, who i haven't seen since school ended, was there. he'll be going to stanford. there were bunches of other people there, so we had great fun. we watched amelie, which was magnificent. andrew and chris stopped over for a little while too, which was great cos i haven't seen them for a long time also...and andrew will be going off to college later this month. there was lots of sexual refrences all night long, which is one of my favourite modes of humour. :)! ha...we made balloon animals/penises. so lately i've been feeling really great about my life. i'm really excited to be filling out college applications, and i think that i'm going to have so much fun at college. as much as i love the friends i have now, i can't wait to meet new people. i just love learning about people. so yeah...i'm going to go shower now. love you! muah! :)

dangit...i'm a tree
i'm feeling really great right now. it's one of those times that your life feels really satisfying. i'm feeling so close with so many of my friends, and ricky was such a sweetie today. i've had so many meaningful conversations this summer...more than i've had any other summer. we have a senior trip on friday, which i'm a little afraid to go to since i'll probably piss someone off with my big mouth...ex. abby complained about being left alone by her friends...and i retorted sarcastically a little too loud...oops...oh well. i feel like crying because i just love my friends so much. they're such amazing people. anywho...soundtrack for today...the jam...collection...god i love that cd...and my song for this week is that i don't know why i love you but i do...i don't know why i try so like i do...the whole song man! argh! go find the lyrics for yourself if you want to know how i've felt this week up until now...now the mood has changed and today it's more like...celebrate...hehehe...good night...*muah*!

the gods are fragile...
so right now i'm feeling like crap. my nose is all plugged up and my throat is swollen. Methinks my head will explode by the end of the day. Anywho...yesterday was fun. russell and i wandered around randomly as usual until other people were able to do things too. my mum doesn't know that ricky and i are back together, and it's funny to hear her ask questions about russell. i'm so excited to hear back from this organization thingy though. they accepted my application, so i am now a distinguished member of yet another incredible students club. i've decided that i would really like to attend the university of the pacific for many reasons, which you can ask me about if you're really that interested. well methinks tis time to rest again. i'm going to go sit in my room and listen to music...song for today...supernatural by live...one of the most amazing songs ever...built a king on compliments charisma and advertisements...hugs and kisses! buh bye...

two thumbs up my arse...
just stick um up there babe...ha...so i saw hedwig yesterday, and i must say that i really enjoyed it. methinks it makes it onto my list of favourite movies. it was just so beautiful and painful and musical :)!!! i love that...what can i say? i'm a sucker for musicals. i used to rent babes in toyland every week when i was a kid...don't know why we didn't just buy it. anywho...today i saw road to perdition...it was really good, but i guess it was slow cos i was yawning a lot...but i was also really tired. jude law is great in it. i love the part he plays...it's absolutely fabulous. soundtrack for today is no doubt's tragic kingdom...actually...soundtrack to my life...ha...nah...i've decided all i want right now is a relationship based solely on sex...cos serious relationships honestly have no future when you're in high school. so i just want to have fun and just partay. hehehe!!! well...methinks tis time for me to sleep...good night all...muah! love you!

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think...
wow. i haven't written in a long time. i guess i should really come back to doing these, since they really help me sort things out. so what's happened? i am finally a senior!!! and i'm single ass hell. i can't wait for college because it just makes me think of all the great new people (yes both guys and gals) that i get to meet. of course, i want to stay in touch with my other friends, but i'm so incredibly excited at the thought that college is so close. lately, i've been falling apart...daytime is happy and fun, but at night it's awful...i think that i've just really learned a huge lesson in my life, and i'm feeling so enlightened...yet i'm so confused. life is so complicated and it's so simple at the same time. i'm so overcome with emotions, both good and bad, that my eyes randomly tear up, not knowing myself if i'm happy or sad. singing and music has become my saviour once again. i can just feel myself melting into it all. my family thinks i'm going out with russell. my god. so he's one of my best friends in the whole wide world. i would never go out with him because i don't see him that way, and i'm not attracted to him in that way. i am, however, eternally grateful for him being there and supporting me as a friend. i've never had someone that i could talk to so easily and who understands me. anyway...i'll try to update as often as possible :) love you lots! *muah!*

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
ok...so i got some kind of other illness now. that's fun. my throat looks awful, but whatever. hopefully, it doesn't do anything to my voice, which it hasn't yet. so school is going ok. my life had a little dip, but i'm looking forward to my recovery because i believe that i'm ready to feel better completely. all i needed was a big slap in the face, which i finally got. so, yeah...i'm not going to be an awful bitch anymore, i've decided. well i really was trying not ot be before...but yeah...i guess that didn't work. i've been playing the sims a lot lately too...hahaha. i have a david bowie house, a gwen stefani house, a whore house, a pimp house, the shepherd's house, and my house...the bunn family. i tried to download a shirley manson one cos i finally found it, but it didn't work out...so that sucked. i'm going to wait til the beatifulgarbage ones come out anyway...cos i know a g fan will be making those. she's already started. going now...off to find somewhere warm...*hugs and kisses* bye!