Friday, October 29, 2004 ×

honestly, i do wonder how im gonna pass my o's at the rate im being such a slug. :| ______ (since im still undecided..) jc will probably kick me out after three months for the drastic fall in my results. or the enormous increase in my L1R5. whichever you prefer.

-frowns. i am worried as hell, but apparently worrying isnt helping the ss book find its place in my head.

maybe it doesnt belong there. :(
yeah, ive considered & came to this conclusion on more than one occasion. but unfortunately we're not allowed to drop the wretched combined humanities or take pure history.

such a drag innit?
im tired of complaining about ss, and youre probably tired reading it. but hey, im not enjoying myself.

and its so ANNOYING im attracting all sortsa bugs tonight. mosquitoes, beetles, UFOs & what not. -frowns. i wish they would like, buzz off and stop bugging me. hurr wot the irony.

shake it once thats fine,
shake it twice thats ok,
shake it three times ..
youre playing with yourself again.

Good Charlotte? -points above. lol was listening to The Anthem & i had the urge to type it down. totally random i swear, no intention of doing anything like that.

-shrugs.

--

mmm, had chinese lessons today & its the only subject (besides math) that i actually feel confident enough now. not confident of an A1 definitely, considering the competition we're up against. your neighbours next door as the ss teacher would put it. but at least i dont feel totally insecure, if you get wot i mean.

besides, laoshi has been kindly going through the stuff with us & despite her voice, or rather the lack of it. yeahh but she does rock la :) and im not say that because of the oreos or honeystars!

--

oh! taufik has made it to the next round of singapore idol!! :) needless to say, sly made it too lahh. lalala :)

honey, i got a lot of money
could you be my nasty girl
and let me do that dirty dance with you?
mommy, shake that sexy body
i just want a nasty girl
now tell me is that nasty girl you?

one helluva fab song that'll perk anybody's day up! :D hahas was grooving while walking to school, yes i think i probably looked like a total idiot. hahas. but its really funky man! :D Nasty Girl by Nitty

mmmmm :) hahas off i go the read the book that laoshi has kindly loaned me.

Thursday, October 28, 2004 ×

went to NTUC just now, after having chinese lessons. bought Listerine in an attempt to kill my headaches once and for all.

ive always thought that its because i tie my hair or wear my hairband that induced headaches. but today, i didnt do anyth to my hair & still, my temples are pounding away. which leaves me with a final alternative, toothache that causes a headache.

-frowns.
lets just pray that this works. :|

had a talk with my papa this morning in the car. speaking to him made me realise how he is a changed man now. honestly, he has aged & moved on into a different phase in life. regardless of the differences, i still love him tonnes :) ahhhh ..

guess i ought to go offline & stop slacking since there's Singapore Idol tonight :) hahas im supporting taufik! :D off i go to try to study for ss, while enjoying my Kinder Bueno! lalala. :) haha so much for the prevention of toothaches huh?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 ×

wheee! new pic is up! :D

it reminds me of kermin. well definitely so, cus she did it for me when we were in sectwo. now you realise why its yellowing?

was looking for some stuff and i found it in the honey star box (with her letter) that yins gave me. my maid prollie stashed it there or something.

hahas. oh well ;) mmm, goodbye to the prev splash picture then. it wont even be in my archives or anyth. since it didnt last for a month. -shrugs.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004 ×

i had the weirdest of dreams last night. it was so strange & i dreamt of practically everybody, all my friends, and in fact, ryan cabrera! hahas. you see wot i mean?

aniw, ive been trying ta find a new picture to use as my splash picture (the one on your left). ok, maybe its not quite considered as a splash pic, but wotever. yepp been looking for pictures, trying to take them, and lotsa stuff. but on monday night, i stumbled upon something! :D hahas shall upload it later after im done with the entry.

they just reminded me yesterday, its five more days to my o's. ok in this case, FOUR more days. this makes it even worse. -frowns. and honestly, i am so not studying anymore. :( just randomly flipping through my books, sitting around & slacking. i think the A1 for my combined humans is gonna fly straight to a f9 man. lets just all pray that switzerland (not its education policies pls), diplomacy & deterrence, conflict between nations would be the topics coming out for ss. and for history, china & russia please. hahas.

by the way, i think Locked Up by Akon is really nice! :D hahas.
im steady tryna find a motive,
why do what i do?
freedom aint gettin no closer,
no matter how far i go.
my car is stolen, no registration,
cops patrolin, and now they done stop me,
and i get locked up

hehe. was singing the chorus im locked up, they wont let me out throughout the entire time we were locked up after physics & chem practical.

actually, ive nothing to say, im just reluctant to start studying :( lalala. laziness at work. hiaks. speaking of which, i am also too lazy to charge my hp. so my batt is flat, and i havent checked it since .. -shrugs. lol sorry if im not replying yer messages, if you msged me that is.

BLAHH. this entry is so crapped im bored typing it.

Sunday, October 24, 2004 ×

i was six years old
when my parents ran away
i was stuck inside a broken life
i couldnt wish away
she was beautiful
she had everything and more
and my escape was hiding out and running for the door

somebody listen please
it used to be so hard being me

living in the shadow
of someone else's dream
trying to find a hand to hold
but every touch felt cold to me
living in a nightmare
a never-ending sleep
but now that i am wide awake
my chains are finally free
dont feel sorry for me

all the days collided
one less perfect than the next
i was stuck inside someone else's life
and always second best
oh, i love you now cus now i realise
that its safe outside
to come alive in my identity

io if youre listening
theres so much more to me you havent seen

mother, sister, father, sister, mother
everything's cool now
mother, sister, father, sister, mother
everything's cool now
oh, my life is good
ive got more than anyone should
oh, my life is good
and the past is in the past

--

ashlee just rocks totally lahh :)

Sunday, October 24, 2004 ×

mmmmmm. was reading an article in the Lifestyle part of The Straits Times today and it was about the loneliness of people. it talked about how Tony Leung in one of his films, bared his soul to the wall, and then sealed it.

which led me to thinking, where is my outlet of emotions? or do i even have one?

-shrugs.
am in one of my weird intellectual (or so i think) moods now. so pardon my incessant rantings which makes no sense.

which leads me again, to remembering something i read from a book, Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. well, i cant remember the exact title, but its somewhat like that. anyhows, it stated that women speak to understand what they feel while men process it in their heads.

--

i am so nonsensical lahh honestly. let me just do some updates to occupy my time. :)

last night i battled a baby roach! -beams. and i won!! :D haha yes im DEATHLY afraid of roaches in case you didnt know. but i decided to get rid of it or it'll grow up to be a flying monster. -shudders. it landed on my hairbrush which made it extremely disgusting & unbearable for me to squash it. so i used toilet paper & tried to grab it! how dumb i know. it then audaciously fell into this clay tiny vase thing that i put my hair accesories in. was so freaked out i almost fainted from the wild thumping of my weak heart! :| emptied the contents of the vase piece by piece and carried the vase to the toilet. and i flushed the wretched thing down the sink :) peace at last! :D

alas, its doesnt mark the end of my adventures with insects yet! last night i dreamt that i was being attacked by BEES. wot the horror :(

--

this week's Singapore Idol is so sad :( maia's out :( honestly i think shes ALOT better than chris, daph, leandra & taufik lahh. wot a pity lahh. and honestly, shes much more appealing too. -sigh. its so unpredictable la.

blahh. shall just end my entry here.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 ×

--

ripped that off laogong's. just thought that it was really nice lahh :)

that aside, im still horrified by my expenditure yesterday. -frowns. the amount i shant state, but honestly its quite alot spent for a day. retail therapy is not so therapeutic anymore. :|

-shrugs.

had a nightmare last night about cockroaches! its so scary & gross that i forced myself to wake up. -shudders. but of course, i fell asleep all over again in like 5 second la. the cockroaches came in all sizes la, one was as long as my third finger :| YES ITS SO HUGE. and they all could fly la. which makes it even more disgusting. horrendous dream :| these tiny creatures haunt me even when im asleep, robbed me of my beauty sleep! -growls.

UGH my hair is so dry today its pissing me off. it practically feels like im touching grass, no wait, its hay! -sigh. im just glad im not intending ta go out today.

there's practical tomm :( im honestly worried la, shikes :( and i realise our first paper is higher chinese?! -gulps. this is horror la. :|

i miss ah vonnn :( -sigh.

Sunday, October 17, 2004 ×

im so lazy its depressing the hell outta me. :|
-sigh. when will i start studying?
next year maybe. after i am forced ta retake my olevels cus i failed it this year.
or perhaps the year after huh?

-shrugs.

its times like these when i wish my irc would work, cus i really wanna hear pug jelly now. :( and electrico too. -frowns. and not to mention the long list of songs that im so hooked onto that ive been so deprived of.

mmmmms. and nopes, i havent got the faintest idea of which jc im gonna be spending the first three months of 2005 at. but im keeping my fingers crossed that i'd be able to make it into the same jc as the bestie & the biatch. the thought of drifting apart from this two girls is total horror lahh. hiaks. which kinda explans why we're going to extremes to make things work out.

confused?
well, so am i.

my thoughts are so scattered its really bad. i mean, is there a way to make yerself focus? -shrugs. none that i know of anyway. :( and the rate which im bingeing so excessively is scaring me as well. im just thankful that there's no icecream around. but unfortunately, chocolates are not any less sinful.

--

i ought to cut my nails. theyre so long, yellow & out of shape its pissing me off. and yes, im so lazy to even pick up a buffer (which is on my table right now) to smooth out the sharp edges. see wot i mean when i say im lazy? im having scratches all over my skin, but i persist in this. allow myself to wallow in uh, laziness.

inertia maybe.

i think im worrying too much about my physics. i admit, i was supposed to do physics today, but i ended up reading magazines & bingeing. :|

wot am i supposed to do? with all these blues, haunting me everywhere no matter wot i do.

--

was looking at the lyrics of white houses by vanessa carlton, and like wend said, it is oh so sad.

maybe you were all faster than me
we gave each other up so easily
these silly little wounds will never mend
i feel so far from where ive been
so i go, and i will not be back here again
im gone as the day is fading on white houses
i lie, put my injuries all in the dust
in my heart is the five of us
in white houses

and you, maybe you'll remember me
what i gave is yours to keep
in white houses

doesnt sound sad to you? i suppose you gotta read through the entire song lyrics before you pass judgement.

Friday, October 15, 2004 ×

pardon me for a THIRD entry in one evening. i have yet to master the art of gathering my thoughts properly before pitasing.

as opposed to wot majority of the charitians feel, i think that this is like the best week of school ive had in this whole damn year man. in fact one of the best weeks ive had in SNGS. honestly.

lessons have never been less relaxing, childhood games had never been less fun, teachers have never been less lenient & in their great moods. :) and the best part, recess has NEVER been this peaceful! this is wot the bbcians have unanimously agreed on. without the sec ones to threes in the school, i feel so good! :D hahas. yesyes, im not quite friendly in case you havent noticed

but apparently, my classmates dont think so. -shakes head. so many of them skipped school. -stares pointedly at the library gang. tsktsk! lol and attendance today was .. 16 absent? haha and i was the FIFTH person to reach class today. considering i arrived 15min before assembly? hahas. and that i usually am like the last few to reach class. hahas.

gonna be checking out nj & vj tomm! :D hahas. afterwhich, i'll be making my decision. mmmmmmm which would it be then .. ahh wells.

Friday, October 15, 2004 ×

JERRY'S OUT!

OUT OUT OUT!! :D

-gringrin. like finally. omg, waited for so damn long for this day lahh seriously. jumped up in joy when they announced the results! :)

hahas. i think i really dislike him quite alot. im so irrational & totally biased against him.

ahh well ;)

btw, i think that the girl in the olympus advertisement looks really sweet :) haha, with so much watching of singapore idol, the number of times ive seen the olympus ad is countless lahh. and i happen to think the new mju camera is nice too! hahas.

haha, since im on the topic of goodlooking people, i shall note down things about my eyecandy encounters the past days :) ok maybe i shouldnt use the word encounter, cus i didnt actually see them in person. hehs its just celebrity lahh. aniw, did anyone see the picture of Aaron Aziz smiling so brightly in the Life! section of The Straits Times yesterday? oh my, hahas hes so cute :) which reminds me, i was intending ta snip that picture out! then, i was watched MTV & saw yet another of my husbands (ive no idea how many i have actually). aniw, it was Alex Band from The Calling :) haha. was melting on the sofa smiling to myself. ahhhh the magical powers of seeing yer eyecandies! lol.

maybe i should stop myself from this excessive obsession about eyecandies man. or .. maybe not? hehe i needta de-stress y'know. though im not feeling much of it since im not actually studying much now.

oh wells.

my mum's home from her trip to Shanghai. mmm, its about time aniw.

-growls. tired of typing now. gonna doodle in the book now. hehs, actually im just gonna cut my Aaron Aziz out to paste him in :) yea wells.

Friday, October 15, 2004 ×

mmmmm. today marks the last day of school for us sec fours. ive gotta admit, that i am filled with nostalgia, about everyth around me. -sigh.

i think i'll miss joyce alot! -frowns. its so unbelievable i realise, but its true! cus i was thinking, the thing i'd miss havin recess togt with the bbcians. and wot makes recess truly recess, is joyce! and of course, her monstrous appetite & whininess :D and aniw, she'll be in m'sia & like how often can we meet up la. -sigh. depressing man.

yes, and i'll of course miss the charitians man. especially my fckers. :) i'll miss playing snakes & ladders, old maid & happy family togt. i'll miss going to the toilet & derek togt with them. i'll miss the excessive amount bitching we do :) hahas. and, i'll miss my EGYPTIAN MAN :( gave him one last hug today. hahas.

i'll miss orange bowl! i'll miss laoshi! i'll miss mrskoh! -sigh.

see wot i mean?

going ta watch tv now! kuai le yu :D hahas. i happen to love that show ;)

Thursday, October 14, 2004 ×

i think i should marry my maid.

haha no, i havent turned lesbian all of a sudden in case you were wondering. oh, and if i did actually changed my sexual preferences, i doubt that i'd fall for my maid. -nods.

its just that i realise im quite useless, a parasite you may say. i cant cook (no not even maggi mee), cant wash (dont know how to use the washing machine) & cant clean.

so .. wot can i do?
-shrugs.
math maybe.

why am i talking about this? the other day in the canteen, our dearest (sarcasm fully intended) principal ms choo told me to clean the canteen table. i looked at her horror-struck, and nodded in shock. i turned around and walked away, wondering where the hell would i get a table cloth, and HOW on earth am i supposed to do that.

fortunately, the kind cleaning auntie came to my rescue :) honestly, i cannot be any more grateful to her than i already am. i mean, just imagine yours truly, wiping tables.

this is when i realised, that im quite useless. i simply cannot imagine my future. hahas, so i suppose marrying my maid would be a simple solution. at lease i wouldnt hafta cook, clean & wash. for myself, and for someone else.

no oh wait, i should marry a guy who can prevent mosquitoes from breeding. my legs are filled with the little bites, all red from excessive scratching :(

--

-sigh. let me put marital affairs aside & focus about happenings closer to reality now.

my o's are in two friggin week time. it kinda just dawned on me today. -sigh. and i look at the amount of things i hafta complete, physics :( ok although i do like the subject to a certain extent (pardon me for applying hist+ss skills here), however i hate doing explanations. -growls.

and ive been sleeping so much its scaring me. for example, yesterday i slept from 4pm to 7.45pm, afterwhich my maid woke me up for dinner. then at 9.30pm i fell asleep again, all the way to this morning. yes i know, frightful isnt it?

and no, its not that i didnt have enough sleep the night before. cus incidentally, my sleeping patterns were somewot similar to last night's.

mmmmmmm, how?

i think i better go start on my higher chinese. -nods determinedly. am going to start my intensive studying.

Saturday, October 9, 2004 ×

i think i should change my layout soon. hahas i do realise that even though i keep changing the picture on the LHS it doesnt make my layout any nicer. lets just wait for inspiration ta strike la.

mmm, after a nice long slumber last night, my fever is gone! :D well lets hope its for good.

im looking through my winamp playlist trying to pick something to listen to, and i realise im like wayyy outdated already. :( -growls. how darn depressing ..

--

hahah sheesh i just told my papa that im gonna study for the whole of today la. this is bad :| especially since i so badly want to catch some movies! plus i was gonna message rol ta ask her if she wants ta town. acks. :(

shikes i just fergot wot i wanted ta type. BLAH, so there.

Friday, October 8, 2004 ×

-sigh. came down with fever last night :( it was totally horrible lahh. was sleeping & i kept thinking that i was part of this parliament, and people kept pushing me around. and if im not mistaken, i was like this tube of liquid or something. haha yes totally screwed la. i always get delirious whenever ive fever :|

mmm, but im feeling better this morn. or rather, i decided to just wake up instead of trying ta sleep somemore. so no more delirium for me. then again, it was the panadol ..

sheesh ok i sound stupid. but im really sleepy now :( contemplated skipping school, but the papers theyre giving back today are the ones that i value the most. as in those that i really hope i did well for. plus, if i dont give my 70bucks in by today, i wont even get ta see my prelim results ..

speaking of which, it makes me kinda sad actually. my results that is .. no dont get me wrong, i am happy with wot i got, but my mum just went like "ok" in a totally nonchalent tone

seriously, wots the point of working so hard, or getting reasonably good results when its not being appreciated. sometimes i do wonder. is she trying to make me not become complacent, or is it that she couldnt care less. i hope its the former of course, but ..

-sigh.
i guess i should just be thankful, and leave it as that.

--

results aside, i seriously think that ive very acidic skin :( on one leg alone, ive SEVEN mosquito bites. and its within like half hour. and no, my other leg is not in a better condition. how annoying.

i think im too bored :| i should go get some rest or something huh.

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 ×

didnt feel like pitasing initially, considering how shallow certain people & things has became. oh wait, i mean how shallow they have always been.

yes, sarcasm at work again. so sue me.

was watching tv with my mum, and i saw this show on channel 8 about how the woman wished to slim down & the objective of the show was to help her achieve that.

her husband claimed that he felt like he was taking an elephant out whenever he's with her. and that when she sits down on the couch beside him, he felt vibration. furthermore, he said that if she didnt slim down, he would get a new wife. yes, roll your eyes & curse please, especially all the ladies out there. and i say so because incidentally her husband resembles a pig, honestly. even more so when compared to the woman.

sad isnt it?
he may argue that he said such hurtful words to spur her on, as reverse psychology. BUT, if he really meant to help her, i presume that giving her money to get a proper makeoever privately would be so much better.

yet to please the man she loves, the woman has to do something so degrading. if it isnt sad, wot is it?

outwardly appearances can only help to rid insecure feelings temporarily, to maintain self-confidence, it has to ultimately come from within. and seriously, if you love & treasure yourself enough, the radiance that shine from within is more than enough ta make you look good.

once again, im all angsty & bitchy.
surprise surprise ..

--

ive learnt that putting in time & effort to do something for certain people around me is more often than not, not worth it. so you can go do wotever you please, my dear friends (hurrs), because i cannot care less.

i think im suffering from an excessive exposure to the ugly side of the human nature.



i think probably only this song suits my mood best right now. and if certain people are just gonna be such pain in the ass, so be it. :)

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 ×

Monday, October 4, 2004 ×

hahas, friendster is one hell of an AMUSING network. lol, and it really places a person in a very different light.

right now, hahas im proud ta say ive no more official eyecandies wotsoever. uh, cept for keira knightley who is so very hot. -nods. yes, i am serious about this.

Monday, October 4, 2004 ×

this mood of fluster & worries is not making me feel any better. tomorrow is the start of four friggin days of horrors. and yes, i am scared as hell

listening to always reminds me of syl. -sigh. which makes me think of f. ahhhhhhh.

ok that was out of point. aniw, i am just so worried la. seriously. and doing well in topical tests doesnt mean anyth la, considering the fact that topical tests are like so darn much easier, and that i had time to study for them.

-sigh.

i think i might be slipping into a slight depression. hurrs.

i think im kiddin' myself

--

btw i realised tht i can access my pitas via my mobile phone, no im not slow. hahas, yeah well. its really quirky & strange.

--

i think ive a split personality, do you think so?
i think im overly self-centered.

then again, who isnt to a large extent, self-centered?
viola? but shes fictional.

mmm, i think stress is getting to me.

Sunday, October 3, 2004 ×

in a mighty foul & strange mood right now.
blah. i think too much sometimes.
i hate it when this happens, seriously.

yes, i do realise my sentences are choppy & that they sound nonsensical. but then again, how many things do actually makes sense?

its times as such that makes me wonder why i take physics & chem.

bought a skirt yesterday, after a whole day of shopping aimless walking. it was not only fruitless, it was boring, if i may say so myself albeit the company. or perhaps, it was the company.

-shrugs.

ive just started reading my Angels and Demons, my purchase yesterday, besides the skirt.

today is just not my day.

correction. it hasnt been my day since friday.
something is really wrong, and it isnt depression or me wallowing in self-pity .. then, wot is it?

i wish i knew.

maybe, maybe nothing. there i let my thoughts run wild again. honestly, sometimes i wonder why i subject myself to this torture.

i think i should leave this pitasing business to another day.

Sunday, October 2, 2004 ×

UGH. ive been awoken early in the morning by relentless drilling outside my room. do they seriously not know the meaning of being CONSIDERATE?! my gawd.

-sigh. im so tired of doing recaps. mmm, maybe then, i shouldnt.

caught the New Police Story yesterday with xiu. it was alright i suppose, but somehow it didnt make me concentrate & focused during the show. oh, but Nicholas Tse was really cute la :)

jessea is out of singapore idol. shes so seriously pretty, and i thought she'd do better than christopher lee & jerry la. wot a pity ..

im really tired & annoyed today its sickening la. im just so angry with myself & everyone. -sigh. continuation of yesterday's bitchy bad mood i suppose. going to be meeting qing & vonn later, though im majorly broke .. ahh wells thats not worst part. i just hope i dont say stupid mean things to hurt people the way i do so unintentionally.

its so scary when you think about it, in about three month's time, we'll all be headed to different places. we'll meet different people, be exposed to different things. and in time, we might would grow apart. its so sad la, cus i do love my darlings so much.

get a grip wai. i shouldnt think about such things & make myself even more depressed innit?

we'll be getting back our prelims results next week. hell yes, im scared. i really am fearful, of wot the future would deliver to me, or wot it would not. i'll most prollie be getting more & more depressed with the arrival of each day, knowing that its a downhill dip. -sigh.

maybe i ought to start preparing now. -nods. it'll prollie make me a whole lot happier than i am as well. or maybe, i should kill the people who are still drilling away.

Sunday, October 1, 2004 ×

i updated the albums! ok, actually its only the misc album. from image 18 onwards.

-yawns. im so tired :( maybe i ought ta get some sleep & leave this pitasing to tomm ..

oh! before i go, ive more or less decided on which jc im heading for :D and ive kiat to accompany me! hahas. hopefully i can make it in lahh .. which i seriously doubt, but wth.