i hate the times when we ought to know better. its like a battle between what you want and what you should do. and its worse when youre not so sure what you want, or what should be done.

i need some strengthhhh yikes im grumpy and insecure

"zouk on thursday was fun. HAHAS someone got wasted, someone got drunk, someone had a lipstick-stained shirt, someone lost some buttons and ohwells. but it ended so early yikesssss hahs we totally have to go again aye, all my someones :D"

HAHAHASH OMG some entry from last year that was one helluva night out some parts we all wanna forget oopsy. cant wait for next wedn wheee Z is beckoning

anyways well, what gave me the impetus to blog was what papa said over dinner just now. "oh tomorrow's your last paper? so how long are you gonna disappear for this time?" OHWELL dont put it that way daddy i do come home, you just didnt see me heheee. i really am looking forward to the break :)

OKAY :) i'l hold the thought cant wait for the weekend wheeeee

Say it's true. Say you like me.
Just for the night.
for me, it's been eternity.
And as I gently sip this drink,
I think about my lack of future,
And all the places I could learn to fall in love.

so we were talking yesterday. mm its never easy to make the right decision, and its worse when your head and heart tell you different things.

and there are the wounds that doesnt heal with time. i felt kinda sad when i realised that, but i cant help but to agree. but wellsss, nothing's impossible and i believe that one day we will all learn to let go.

i realised i havent let my playlist run freely like i did today. rediscovered a genre of music that i used to listen to alot. yes its the Mcfly, Busted, Cartel & your other favourite pop bands :) the kind that makes you wanna sing and bob your head along in glee

what happiness :D

this entry was about grumbling how ive misplaced my things (again) but guess what??? IVE FOUND THEM :) was wondering where my TH things went (in particular ahem kendrick's photo) wheeeee. spent alot of time lastnight/this morning digging for them omgawdzz!

im really happy now cus ive found my favouritest photos & my favouritest things hahahas im gonna keep everything properly (!!)


"TIOMAN, our first grad trip" - in vonn's words heheee





I MISS JOYCEEEEEE :C

such sheer happiness i definitely want a beach(bitch) date sooon friends we need to volley hehe. i realised we used to hit the beach alot (ahemzzz islanders)

okay studynessss ! :)

I realised that I have grown to be intolerant towards silence. Mm it's not literally the lack of sound; music could be blasting but the void that surrounds it is unsettling.

Couldn't sleep last night, though I tried very hard to. I guess it was probably stress, but the silence in the room made me so afraid. Felt pretty helpless cus I usually have no trouble trying to sleep.

Well speaking of sleep, here's another song that burns.

On the back of a motorbike
With your arms outstretched, trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed
We couldn't break from the concrete
And the city where we still reside

And I have learned
That even landlocked lovers yearn
For the sea like navy men
Because now we say goodnight
From our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed

You may tire of me
As our December sun is setting
Because I'm not who I used to be

On a lighter note, I felt really happy hanging out with D, jel & xyz just now. :) Its been kinda hard to not have friends to hang out with in school. Well looking forward to the chalet!

Can't wait for Joyce to be back! :) :) I am really really excited to spend time with the bbcians.

its my first time flipping through the Plans album cover, albeit it sitting in my cabinet for the longest time. my love for Ben just grew like tenfolds. YIKES okay better late than never. anywaysss adding to the galore of songs in the page, here's one that really paints a picture.


And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time as I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409. And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today, as each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me.

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye. It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds but I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all. And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself.

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room. Just nervous paces bracing for bad news. Then the nurse comes around and everyone lifts their head. But I'm thinking of what Sarah said. That love is watching someone die

So who's going to watch you die

i am gonna stop listening to Voxtrot until my exams are over. HAHAS okay just as i said it i put on Four Long Days.

The love is cold but
The engine is warm
I think of home, I think of the sweet life
Of sweat and sunshine, and sandals and shorts
We had the Field Mice playin on the hi-fi

We got bored, in our own living room
So we got stuck with an ugly fix
That kills your days, and makes you forget a lot
And then you feel the hot son beating down, and you start to cry


anyways as i was saying before the digression, i think Voxtrot is somewhat detrimental. (hello drug abuse??) their songs secretly depresses me and like a silly fish i bite the bait and put them on loop yikes. whoever compared them to Belle & Sebastian ought to be damned. yes of course i dont miss the similarities but B&S is far more light hearted. or at least their choice of instruments are, like you can whistle along to their songs.

mm the world is going crazy. children in Zimbabwe are prodding insect nests desperate for food & survival- in the form of termites and whatnot. and their inflation rate are in 6 figure percentages (?!?!) and counting i mean what madness. hello pls arrest Robert Mugabe and shut him away for life. not that he has much of it left anyway

OKAAAAY time to study

you must learn to lose these things if you wanna be free

:'C

--

Smell you in the thread of the clothes that I wear.
I rip and tear to get to the deeper part of the person I can
Escape, but I can't catch.

I remember locking the legs around feet
And that shitty street in the house where the sun
Burned through the bare windows all day long.

Tearing up the line between trouble and fun,
We ran, we run in circles
Where the cleanest part of the dirty curve
Is the moment locked in song.


--

SIGH anyone wants to go for angels & airwaves ?

Squeaky swings and tall grass
The longest shadows ever cast
The water's warm and children swim
And we frolicked about in our summer skin

I don't recall a single care
Just greenery and humid air
Then Labor day came and went
And we shed what was left of our summer skin

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit
And we left our love in our summer skin


please dont read too much into this. things are fine and dandy TYVM. i realised my liking for dcfc really grows and im suddenly so in love with Plans all over again. much more than Narrow Stairs, sadly :C i hope i'll learn to appreciate the latter as much as i do the former. i kinda love their old songs more but then again, it takes time i suppose.

im a freak, i cant seem to move on from Corp Accounting to MPC even though its screaming for my attention. anyways i seriously cant wait for exams to be over i really wanna sew (HAHAS). of course i wanna meet up with the world and play all day. just that im kinda dyings to sew heheeee.

by the way, Nothing Better by The Postal Service is really really really yummy- if i havent alrd mentioned it. i love the instruments (idk what they are though) HEHEEEE okay dushuness !

it's freaky to think that my exams begin in mere days. SIGH and even more freaky (and oddly comforting) to realise that corporate accounting isnt that bad. im a freak :C

sad to say, my senses are failing me. i started feeling the heat yesterday. YES ONLY YESTERDAY ._. for your info, as of today my exams are four days away. and they're the difficult modules cus high level (ie. year three) freaks dominate these classes. sigh depressing i need to studyyyy !

on a lighter note, the past few days have been rather happy :) although i have a way of being so extremely difficult when im having PMS. but retardednessly happy days are just bliss :D

OKAAAAY. im off now, byebyebyebyebye world.

I am literally almost bored to death. :'C grumpssssss!

xiu run away says:
WE MUZ MEET UP LIKE

xiu run away says:
1000000000000000

xiu run away says:
TIMES BEFORE YOU RUN TO AMERICA

i came across a fallen tree
i felt the branches of it looking at me
is this the place we used to love?
is this the place that ive been dreaming of?

oh simple thing where have you gone
im getting old and i need something to rely on
so tell me when youre gonna let me in
im getting tired and i need somewhere to begin

and if you have a minute why dont we go
talk about it somewhere only we know?
this could be the end of everything
so why dont we go
somewhere only we know?

deceit@hotmail.com says:
YAH

deceit@hotmail.com says:
think i'll cry like mad on the plane la

leilei says:
rmbr not to wear eye makeup


HAHAHAHAHAHAHSHS OMGGG !

((:
grumpyyyy girl hearts follyfathermoniaaa

"SURPRISE!" :D

--

/edit

hahasss okay i really wanted to post more last night but i was too buzzed by the pills to be coherent. actually im still pretty much in a daze but ohwellssss.

anyways yes, im glad it went perfect (: heheeee the afternoon was just sluggish (him) & grumpyish (me) oops! but things got better in the evening as we prepared for our first public appearance HEHEEE. no surprises or monsters could deter us!

"strutted" in fashionably late, hand in hand donning our matching brown outfits wheee. :D (so red carpet gasppp) i realised its our first movie popcorn heheee youre such a chomper!

well, Quantum of Solace was quite disappointing :C yikess! but okayyy doesnt really matter i guess. so we hung around for a tiny bit (attempting to take photos!) before chomps!

molly has a new toy HAHAS its still lying in my bag somewhere. im too tired to do anyth cept surf the net and blow my nose eeks!

ohwellll dinner was happyyy (: the walk home toooo! hehehee got my retribution for the "surprise" in the afternoon :| "GASPPPPPP!" omg faints mortified!

(((: okay im really buzzed right now i think i'l hide under my blanket for a little whileeee. later, alligator (reptile!)

i am, all of 100% happier hahahahhas my bestfriend just called to ask if i wanted a popiah delivery (!!!!!!)

--

now that im well-fed (or more like overstuffed im gonna hurl and throw up) i feel a little betterrr and ready to talk. i honestly think im terrible. SIGH waiwai pls dont be so harsh!

anyways, i didnt realise that wedn was supposed to be like a study-togt thing. i thought it was a dinner thing, and so... im really sorry yikes if i knew i wouldve just sat there. yeap for real. guess i was quite dumb, couldnt quite read your mind either. sorry for always making you wait so freaking long for me yikes tired & hungry. :| and i feel terrible about the sleepless tuesday night (which is my fault too). i just couldnt find the right words to say; it'll be hard, but we just gotta have faith.

wellll as for today, i guess i was too sensitive about it. and i probably shouldve just been more firm about what i wanted & all. idk, quite a dilemma cus it would either be troublesome for you or me sigh.

guess im really quite harsh, it wasnt really your fault sigh. im just glad this hell week is over cus the endless project meetings are just a pain (okay thats not the point). it was only one week of happiness and here we are going through this again sigh ohwells. nevermind tomorrow will be a happier day!

miscommunication is just a big f-er made to play pranks on us mere mortals.

i wish we could have more long dates (okay im greedy) mm it never seems enough :C okay we must have a reaaaally long one, more than our fingers and toes can count!

<3

okayyy 5 things
- I HATE WILEYPLUS :'C
- sold 2dresses today (!!)
- hotmail is absolutely disgusting omggg pls upgrade the system hello
- "shopping" (in each other's closet) and now we both have "new clothes" :D
- miss you!

oh one more, im hungryyyyyy (grumps!)

im not having some verbal diarrhoea pitasing nonstop (some of them were from last night!). but anywaysss this is quite hilarious.

so i was talking to mumsie, telling her about how motherly other people's mums were. hehe yupp using dex's mum as an example (btw shes really motherly!). and she was asking me "does his mum .. (do this & that)?" like really defensive. finally i decided to stop mocking her and she goes on telling me how mothers are all different and that i cant compare like that.

"so my friend asked me: 'your father acts as a father and a mother? then what does your mum do??'"

"eh you see i try to strike a good balance in life. i divide my time among work, leisure and .. community service!"

"uh, how about family?"




oh well. we all know the truth mumsie its okay :) i still love you. oh yay papa says he is gonna get me a new table next week ! and hes gonna get my (hugeass) wardrobe custom-made hurrayyyyy :D mumsie was green with envy hehheeeee okay thats not the point. i just hope my father keeps to his words !

deceit@hotmail.com says:
wow

deceit@hotmail.com says:
dear

deceit@hotmail.com says:
you must be the most focused person i know

deceit@hotmail.com says:
while i must be the laziest

bottleneck! says:
doesnt matter as long as u're the person i love the most!

things i doubt i'l ever stop marvelling over.

these fancy things will never come in between
youre part of my entity, here for infinity
when the war has took its part
when the world has dealt its cards
if the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart

halloween was a happy affair ((: hehe we had the best masks omgosh, and got a real scare (okay maybe only me) plusss trick/treat in the form of um, endless snacking :| wellll, i really loveeeee long dates cus time just seems to make a little concession for us. heheee love the slugishness though maybe thats not the way to go ooops!

im so glad thing have smoothen out this week (: it has been real sweet & happy! yikes im keeping my fingers crossed things remain status quo for a little longer. pls dont let me jinx it! but hahas i kinda think that the boat will start rocking pretty soon. im not being cynical, just that life always gets you when you least expect it

welll nonetheless, thanks for being my silliest <3 cant quite imagine otherwise ((: