i thank God for what has happened just now. it may not be the best arrangement, but it is still a solution.

yins has got a school to go to now!

ahhhhh, i can feel myself feeling relaxed all of a sudden. :D hahas the piece of lead that was tied to my heart seemed to be released already. ahhhhh ..

had quite a long day today, but mostly happy. went to AJ for orientation, but it turns out that we only did the mass dance for the whole darn morning. what a waste of energy seriously, hahas mass dance ALWAYS leave me feeling totally drained somehow.

so anyway, after much deliberation & hesitation, i decided to meet up with my OC babes, plus joanne too la :) things got kinda messy, with the sudden change of plans & etc. finally, it was KAP!

hahas imagine this, i took the MRT from Yio Chu Kang station all the way to town. i decided that i was really super early, so i took all the way to Marina Bay. back to Newton when i thought i was meeting them at NJ, and ended up going to KAP. guess what? after all this long journey, i was still earlier than them! -beams.

sat around, pigging out & talking about stuff. hehe had fun with huiyi in Cold Storage, especially the part about something that would go BEEP BEEP as we were leaving the supermarket. LOL so lame. :D

saw aha, huilin, jiali & lynette there too, hahas and chatted with lynette for awhile :D hahas shes so cute! and sister fabian came too!!

we all left at about the same time, headed home together with sis! :D hahas i realised that although we stay so darn near, we seldom go home together la. talked rubbish as usual, he being totally cranky+tired+mad & me just stony. hahas

i really do miss them alot! ahhhh, especially huiyi & yins!! actually, its the whole OC & ohfiveasstwelve (: really wish we dont ever lose contact la.

meanwhile, i just got my class in AJC. ahh wells nothing much to say about it, kinda numbed right now. dont wanna stone anymore, its really so tiring la. i wanna think & feel happy, not walk around feeling like a stupid zombie trying to fit in.

-shrugs.

had a totally slack happy day with my girlfriend, vonn :D talked alot, walked alot & ATE alot too.

we basically spent our day walking around aimlessly, cus we were both broke, and i am trying to stop myself from excessive spending. lets see, met at orchard mrt, then walked to cineleisure for a late lunch at Long John's. sat there talking for like an hour or something, then went to Heeren to walk. LOL and my dear girl did something so totally hilarious, and now it has to be kept secret. -winks.

walked back to cineleisure with the intentions to grab a drink, but ended up sitting down again to chitchat. hahas i ate Red Ruby :D my second time eating it, after mel introduced it to me that day. yes, i am swaku ok.

headed to taka to do more aimless walking. hahas seriously we just walked around & talked nonstop, without actually looking at the stuff on display in the shop. went to Kino too, and oh yes we even played this chess thingamajig at the kids' shop! totally hilarious la :D

mmm walked back to cineleisure (yes AGAIN) with the intentions of meeting up with the fkers, but due to miscommunication, they were in taka or something. so didnt get to meet after all.

anyway, we headed to my favourite place, HEMISPHERE ! :D hehs i dont know why i like it so much, the place is just totally funky & the seat in that corner is so cute. lol its my friendster display picture now, so yes :D ohh the highlight of the day came .. we WALKED down to city hall mrt! yes, imagine us the two lazy girls doing that. had TONNES of fun la, laughing like crazy & talking about the hotel :D -laughs.

hahas i think both of us should just turn lesbian & get attached to each other or something. we always have so much fun together, and its seriously damn UGHHH, the stuff that happened to us both recently.

i love tht babe tonnes! :D hahas, we should do this more often aye bestie?

ahhh, i still havent called vonn yet :|

hahas i think at my rate of laziness, im getting nowhere in life man! ohh let me share something that i suddenly recalled a few days back.

when i was young, i was kinda lazy to chew my food, and i was very picky with food so my parents always nagged at me. so then, i always wished that there could be a zip at my tummy. whenever i had to eat anyth, just open the zip, pour the food in & voila, youve settled a meal!

:D yes, i am real lazybum. hahas i dont deny it either!

speaking of lazybums, i met them yesterday!! :D went to suntec's outlet of hotpot (i still cant remember the name of the restaurant) for lunch. was so full i felt like my jeans button was gonna pop or something, ate SO MUCH!

the three of us then went to the suntec fountain to walk around it & make wishes. lol our first time there :) it was not bad, other than the fact that people kept splashing water at us!

so yeahh walked around somemore, slacked, then sent xin off to work. and i hadta fold both the two girls' jeans for them, and Seah Yi Xin still had the cheek to complain that i was slow! -growls. i was on my knees in the toilet, folding her jeans for her, while she just stood there saying tht it was too long or too short! hahas where is justice man.

mmm yea went to xiu's after that to slack around, since i didnt feel like going home. but yeah, left at around 11+ cus i felt quite scared going home from her place so late. the bus stop always seem so creepy, plus the bus takes years to come :|

hiaks, things are getting kinda tricky lately. goodness, i really dislike that word cus everytime i use it, its never a good thing. mmmmm :|

oh yeah, i caught Miss Congeniality 2 with mockingbird kwek yesterday, before meeting up with my girls. hahas i prefer the first one though, although the second one wasnt thaat bad.

hahhas yesterdays aside, im gonna be meeting vonn later on :D besties!!

ouch.

although this isnt the worse day of my life so far, but it was really tormenting for me.

i miss yins, so much i could just die.

lets not forget, ohfiveasstwelve, where all the coolest people came togt to form a class.

--

just thought of something really funny. was sitting next to this tall guy who had the same name as CC during the long talks (think 9am to 1pm) we had just now. it really was quite fun talking rubbish (crispy chicken clock??), until he headed off to TJC to appeal. and it'll probably be successful la, according to him.

hahas so there went my attempts at being friendly. mmm but yea, qiuhong was great company so it wasnt THAAAT bad.

things got slightly better towards the end of the day i guess. especially the bus rides with yu wen, really glad to have someone who feels the exact same way as i do. and its such a coincidence, that we meet so often on the bus, or at the bus stops. but yea im really glad :)

guess my day wasnt that bad after all. i just hafta try & stop comparing everyth in AJ with the great times spent with ohfiveasstwelve.

tomorrow would be a new day, hopefully a better one? well i guess after what happened on 16th December 2004 (to top it off, two days after my 16th birthday), nothing else could seem worse. so yes, i'll hang in there to try to make things work as much as possible.

now, i hafta think about my subject combi first. PCME, LCME, or just CME? tough tough choice. rahh, im so tired man.

i wanna run away,
never say goodbye.
i wanna know the truth,
instead of wondering why.
i wanna know the answer,
no more lies.
i wanna shut the door,
and open up my mind.

--

sad to say, this is not going to be a happy entry. BUT, its not gonna be sad & angry either.

mmmm the song up there, it suddenly popped into my head as i headed home from stnicks just now. felt so tired, really wanted to just end everything. hahas no i wasnt intending to kill myself either la! really wanted to cry, cus i felt so screwed, and up to now i havent really cried yet. was pretty close at some point, but not yet.

so anyway, went home to change & then met the remaining ohfiveasstwelve people who hadnt dispersed yet. that would be cerise, daryl, huiyi, jeremy, kwek, mich, sammie, samoo, sui & waiyee :) really wanna thank the girls for being so sweet!! i LOVE the mirror (hahas since when have i not?) and all the totally pretty letters :D took pictures, hahas the guys were such lousy photographers! samoo kept taking rubbish pictures & jeremy did NOT warn us before taking and took pictures when we werent prepared/looking. tsk!! ended up posing for the same pictures a million times.

mmm, but yea took a group photo too :D after that the guys dispersed (dont ask me, its their phrase) while us girls hung around for awhile more. oh and yins came down too. ate venezia (omg peanut butter flavour!!) & then headed for the Nokia center at Wheelock. slacked around, and listened to sui's ipod with the cute songs! hehe the cookie monster song :D

mich & sui had to leave so i walked them down to the entrance of Wheelock. after that, i bought my copy of Digital Fortress at Borders! :D mmm went back to meet them, then rocker came too. headed down to kobayashi for dindin, then chitchat for awhile before leaving with waiyee.

mmm, so many thoughts on my mind i dont know how to start. firstly im really thankful for everything that happened during this PAE period, ive been blessed to be able to meet ohfiveasstwelve. it really hurts to say goodbye, but at the same time i wouldnt want to give up any of this happy moments just to lessen the heart-wrenching farewells.

i used to believe that, when i am not so emotionally involved it would be easier to part. that is so silly & stupid. im really glad i realised that after getting back our o's result, and made (what i hope was) the best of my time left.

so yes, even as im leaving now, i have absolutely no regrets at all. cus at least i have enjoyed my (short) stay there, and ive met many people who are just so unique. :)

glad to have met the OC girls (and in general, the class girls), who just brightens my day up :) we sit together, discuss silly stuff, and enjoy our many breaks slacking. hahas getting into a "clique" in such a short span of time! :D

and more importantly, i really am truly glad for my two (including me, three) little pigs who has been just so dear to me :) we slack (sitting at wisma refusing to go home aft we pon school), stone (in canteen), pon school (to go out), gossip, do silly/spastic stuff (playing with science labs lift), pig out (venezia & tomyum place), spot eyecandies (hehe), talk rubbish (______'s bad haircut at the funny hairdresser, the thong guy) & so many other things that are totally US :D beautiful memories that i keep with me. and the best part? we are three girls that are so totally different in many ways, yet we still can get along so well. it just makes me smile :) my piggy number one, sammie & piggy number three, huiyi! i love :D

next, it would be my BP cerise!! ahhh, i really love this girl alot, for being there for me constantly. we're um, bitching partners. :D hahas and yes we really can get quite bitchy at times. AHEM im sure she'll remember that time at suntec where we were .. mmmmm. :) hahas you know what i mean la babe! yeah, sitting togt laughing & sharing bits of information. -gringrin. lovely i swear!

there is yins too, who has been there to drag me to be more enthusiastic. hahas :D although things are not always good between us, but i really am glad & thankful to have her around.

ok, not to outcast the guys la. just to list some offhand .. buddy for being so lame & funny, fabian the neighbour who is my partner-in-crime to doing mean things during GP lesson, haikel my himbotic dude, kwek the cathigh mockingbird, rocker for (very obviously) being rocking & yea, everyone else. hahas :D oh yes, cheraik's proclamations of love. -laughs.

i really wanna thank ohfiveasstwelve for giving me this sense of acceptance within such a short period of time. :) i do feel so comfortable with every single one of you all its quite amazing. never had a class which i found the whole class alright! :D

and im really proud of us, we've the NJ Idol from our class & best hamper packed (even though we really sucked). and we're really pretty darn cool, if i may say so myself. enthu, funloving, and um without certain things :D hahas im sure you all get what im saying right?

besides our class, i'd really miss the history people (science 7) & all the other people ive met :D my dear ong, the seniors (angel+mortal, CM group, fellow latecomers who got caught by tongtong tht day & etc).

there are many things that i would like to say to you, but i dont know how, wonderwall by Oasis (lol oasis!) speaks everyth i wanna say.

if this is the end of ohfiveasstwelve (although i pray not) i just wanna say, i really treasure everyth that happened. and hopefully there would be more to come :) this has been an unforgetable 2months & 22days for me, and i'll try my best to hold on to these memories.

goodbye, NJC.
its time to close yet another chapter in my life.

i am so afraid.

regardless of what happens tomorrow, im quite sure that i'll still end up bawling my eyes out.

i wish i was strong, but the way things are turning out, im not so sure if i can handle them. and most importantly, if i can handle them well.

my intuition tells me that its gonna be a long day tomorrow, and im just keeping my fingers crossed.

mmmmm, but no. im not gonna give up, never giving up. standing on the side of positivity, i'll just hafta give everything my best shot & hope for the best.

so many things, that should be left unspoken. hence, i'll leave it as it is.

and by the way, im gonna be going back to NJ in the morning tomorrow. please dont ask me why, i dont wish to answer that question at all. and thanks for all the goodlucks & all the best, i really appreciate them, and im pretty sure i'll be needing them.

but yea, some stuff just happened which practically felt like a tight slap in my face. OUCH.

till the next time i pita, and hopefully it'll be about something positive, take care folks. of course, good luck to firstly the fellow j1s who would be receiving their posting results, and those not. secondly, the j2s who are having their common tests/SPA now. i really do hope for the best for everyone yea. :)

-laughs. talking to both my lazybums on msn now! :D

oh, my com gave me a HUGE scare just now :| when i tried to sign into MSN, they told me either my username or password was incorrect. horrors of horrors! the thing is, im using windows XP, so your stuff is saved in the computer already. goodness i thought my account got hacked or something!

OMG! this is horrifying :| -glares at xiu. i cant believe you .. AHHHHHH :| -frowns. Neptune (wherever that is) is such an eeky place, and ______ is really illegal!

hahas opps sorry about the sudden outburst! talking to xin & xiu has sparked off some um, really OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorta reaction. hahas seriously man, this is freaky shite. and the President is involved too?! hahas damn scandalous man.

ok, maybe im just over-reacting but who cares! -laughs. sheesh our conversation is just damn lame la.

oh yeah, thought of something really silly that happened over the weekend. my dearest bestie vonn flew off to Taipei on Friday/Saturday, and we spent Saturday calling & messaging her trying to get her to go out with us ._. hahas so dumb! it wasnt until her sister told me that she was on holiday, before lei, mel & i went like OH YAH.

lol i think when shes back, and she switches on her hp, shes gonna get a shock man!

oooh those lazybums cant wait to see my entry. and they said mke us sound lke ANGELS hor! not some ____ _____ kids! hahas i removed the two words in order to protect them :D okk shall end my entry here! LOL.

JAE posting results would be out on Tuesday, 22 March 2005, at 8am.

hello there, nightmare.
well, it would be HUGE one for me obviously, but probably an exciting day for others.

mighty depressing this is. :(

what a way to begin the day with aye? i really dread the day. and you may call me superstitious, but even my horrorscope for today, according to the Life! section of The Straits Times, said this.

For the next three weeks, if anything can go wrong, it will.

THANKS ALOT. I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
my goodness! when i read it just now, my heart fell right through my stomach, intestines & whatnot to fall straight to the ground. OUCH. the first thing that popped into my mind, JAE! and the next thing you know, i hear it on the news. -frowns.

ahhhhh. this is bad :| youve no idea how my heart feels like it was carved from a block of lead. lol i have a weak heart ok!

supposed to be meeting lei & mel at cityhall mrt. so yes, its gonna be my fourth consecutive day in that area. this is like crazy man, even i think its a little unhealthy already.

ahh wells. my holidays are coming to an end, it seemed to have just begun for me actually. what a waste :( and i didnt get to meet my fkers either! -growls.

mmmmmmmmmmm.
(hahs this reminds me of wilson who thinks that i like "m")

ahhhh :D im so shagged! wanna plonk onto my bed now & just sleep till next year. oh wait, i want a foot massage first, THEN proceed to slumberland.

began the day in a mighty foul mood. spent a large part of my morning WAITING, for the bathroom, breakfast & whatnot. hahas grouchy man! but anyways, i swear i got ready in record time just now :D -beams. 15min to get bathed, changed (this is a lengthy process for yours truly by the way), find all my stuff & get my slowpoke self out of the house.

but yes, i was still late for my appointment, not that it mattered. cus the beautician made me wait so long for her. hahas but yeah, shes pardoned cus shes really quite a nice person :D

so after the insanely painful treatment today, met my mum for lunch & then walked around j8 for awhile. oooh bought a new swimsuit, due to the fact that the current one has been severely tortured by my maid. hahas its in a sad state now.

ohh just as we were going to part, she going home first, and me going to meet xiu in town, i saw kwek. hahas after getting rid of the salesman, he even took the same bus as my mum!

lol wonder what he did to my mum, she sent me a message that said something like he was "nice and courteous". when i saw that message, i burst out laughing .. IN THE MIDDLE OF ORCHARD MRT. my goodness the worst part was that i couldnt stop laughing as usual. mighty embarrassing la, i must have looked like a total idiot or something.

so yeah, waited for xiu to come (i was earlier than her can you believe this?) then we headed for wisma then fareast. ooh and we both got what we wanted, in a real short time! she got her jeans+belt, and i got a bag which was really not on my mind at that time.

was just heading for the belt shop, when we passed by inQbox! hahas i love tht shop by the way, it has funky & quirky stuff :D its the shop which has like products from a variety of designers all in one shop. each designer would have their stuff displayed on one shelf. i think quite afew people would have read or heard about it already. so yeahh we just popped in to take a look at the stuff they had, cus i read about it too. ooh found a really nice bag there :D hahas ok right now it looks lovely to me, so lets leave it as that for the time being. plus, theres only ONE piece. -beams.

after getting our stuff, headed to taka for dinner which turned out to be a big mistake later on. cus we wanted to visit xin on her first day of work. ended up getting distracted by the food fair at the convention center!

lol not our fault! we took a bus down cus our legs were really tired, and it stopped infront of the convention center. hehhs :D the food there all looked yummy!

ohhh i saw rafaela (spell?) there, yes the '02 LD president! its been a such long time since i last saw her. oh if i wasnt mistaken, i thought i saw min (white badge LD ex-dancer) at orchard mrt earlier in the day too. but i dont think she saw me though. hahas so strange to see them both on the same day, plus we were all armageddies! lol but woahh tht was ancient already man, Promenade was in sec two!

hahas ok shant bore everyone with LD stuff. so yeah after getting some stuff at the food fair (with shh at the cashier!), we went down to find xin. lol said hi and we just left already.

but yeah really was very shagged, i almost fell asleep on the bus. for those who dont know, i dont usually fall asleep on the bus no matter how tired i am. so yeahh was struggling to stay awake, and keep my eyelids open!

mmmm, ahhh im super shagged now. UGH DAMN IT! just received this sms that kinda made me feel so disgusted. sigh not really, but ohwells. -shrugs.

nevermind, not thinking straight anymore. off to bed now! :D

had BP outing today! :D finally managed to meet up with cerise. mmmm caught Million Dollar Baby, and yes i cried, the last part was so sad it broke my heart. strange how one action, one mistake, one single moment that may seem completely insignificant, can change your life so much.

your future now, is something youve never thought of, never expected, but this is the truth.

how scary :| life is so unpredictable, one moment altered both their lives so radically. i really do like the show, although at some parts i couldnt quite catch what they were saying. but yeah, strong message behind this movie.

i remember Roger (LD's director/instructor) once said that a good play is one that would make the audience leave & still be thinking about it. i suppose it would apply with books, movies & tv programmes as well. mmmm i guess Million Dollar Baby has achieved that, where im concerned eh?

ahhh, no wonder its an award winning film :)

hahas okok back to BP outing, we did lotsa walking around (quite aimlessly) cus we were too engrossed in talking. lol :) ohhh went to visit xiaolin again! hahas yea its great to see her as always. :D although she and cerise ganged up against me!

was telling them that im straight (thts the truth by the way), and i said im as straight as the lamppost! they, HAD to remind me tht lamppost are not completely straight! -growls. and the rolling of eyes thing too! hahas so bad!

yepyep, walked around somemore, and managed to take a picture after all :) great day basically, other than some annoying stuff. and its so terrible tht marina square is under renovation, had to walk so much before getting to the theatre. hahas plus i have an OAB! which made things a whole lot worse.

ooh we saw the mediacorp actor terence cao (spell?) at suntec in his ugly shirt. hahas opps, i dont know why i keep harping on the issue of his ugly shirt. but yes, it really was unflattering!

hahas yepp, shall end here. really tired!

AHHHHH IM SO @#$%^&*+ NOW !!

i typed this really long, and i mean LONG (i spent about two hours on it if you really wanna know) entry about what happened last night. my computer just screwed up on me & closed the window just as i was done.

but since my extreme happiness from last night still carried over to this morning, i shant make a big fuss.

basically to sum up what my entry was about, i really had one helluva fab evening :) it made me smile from the bottom of my heart, this sense of familiarity. we've been together for more than two years now, and it was really damn great to see each other after so long. lame jokes, silly conversations, bimbo talk & whining just isnt the same :)

i guess i took for granted our daily meetings until now, when time seems like a luxury we all cant seem to afford anymore.

really glad for everyth, and last night. and obviously, we got so carried away chatting that i forget all about leaving at 10pm. lol, promised my dad to be home early (so that he would let me out) but obviously the whole thing went out of the window.

ahhh :) hahas im reallyREALLY happy ok!

anyone recall DEREK?

ive been asking my dear friends and nobody has any impression, not until i reveal the answer and they go like OHHHHH. i didnt remember either, until yesterday when i was reading through my archives.

so as to not keep everyone in suspense, DEREK is not a person, but the water cooler on the fourth floor back in stnicks! :D

-laughs. everyone's suddenly enlightened all of a sudden aye? especially the silly girls, namely us, who used to frequent that place so darn often just to waste lesson time :D well obviously we were so attached and attracted to that corner we even noticed the name on it.

--

time passes so fast aye?

and very Very soon, it'll be the release of the JAE posting results. was telling xin on MSN, about how i wonder what would happen on that day, the things that would await us and how our lives might change from that point forward.

her response?
hopefully its a YAY and nt a FCUK

i was really like LOL! how apt she put it right? all we can do now is hope for the best, and be prepared for the worst. i do hope that i am prepared for the worst though, expect the unexpected as they say.

meanwhile, i just hafta focus on recovering first! i really cant wait for dindin tonight :)

and i really am so tempted to grab the kitkat chunky in the fridge, gobble it down. hahas i havent ate one since goodness-knows-when. ahhhh, exercise some self control wai, get a grip!

im pitasing so much its crazy, but ohwells im bored! :D

right now, im thankful that im not totally ill! :) hahas i must have been completely nuts to have typed something so stupid in the previous entry. actually, everyth about the prev entry is so silly & crappy la. guess i was having a bad morn or sth.

either that, or the Panadol i took just now is really effective :) hahas although i was really exasperated when i saw that it was the non-drowsy formula. ive been seriously lacking sleep, barely got any last night, and couldnt get myself to nap the whole morn either. but yea, after taking the pills i managed to rest properly for awhile. :D just took a quick shower!

sigh, i really wish i'd continue to feel better though. hope it aint a temporary high due to the medication or something, cus that always happens :|

haha lei just called me, and she warned me not to get addicted to panadol. turns out that my dear girl is sick too! terrible man, and i guess shes in a worse-off state cus she has to attend some workshop thingamajig. :| my heart goes out to you sweets!

meeting the bbcians for dindin tomm :) hahas i really cannot wait, to see everyone again, especially xiaolin who seems to have MIA-ed! unless i really get a fever, i'll make sure i turn up :D hahas.

i really should stop the negativity & bitterness in my heart man. getting depressed & angry never brought anyone anywhere (with the exception of Eminem of course).

so yes, positivity is the key! :D hahas that is SO cheesy i swear, but what the hell right? well well, i guess i really should be thankful to be able to stay home & rest, rather than be mugging my holidays away, like the j2s are doing now.

haha and no, i had no intentions of suaning anyone with that statement :D

i really am getting SERIOUSLY irritated. i so dislike being sick, i dont know if i should be thankful that im only partially ill (for now), or annoyed tht im only a little unwell and still i cant go out.

-sigh. depressing depressing, and it doesnt help tht im SO bored :(

just read xin's blog, and she mentioned something about us turning anti-social. so weird aint it, considering how noisy we are, or used to be.

but then again, its not as if i mind either. what is the point of having a million friends, who doesnt give a hoot about you, when you can have a handful of fabulous ones? was on the phone with xin last night, and we were just so totally bitchy its crazy. must be the illness getting to my head. :|

its not as if i would take those words back either, cus i really did mean it. -laughs. i guess this is the reason why im still sick, all this retribution thrown right back in my face. lol karma?

i am annoyed.

seriously seriously annoyed. -growls. on the first day of my carefully planned & scheduled holiday, i am sick. was forced to cut short my day, and cancel my dinner date to come home to rest.

-sigh. what a waste innit? im drinking so much water, feeling like a barrel with small squinty eyes. how unglam i swear.

hahahs goodness i wanna kill my brother!! i was drinking water, and he pushed my head. now theres this patch on the chair, and it looks like i peed on the chair or something ._.

--


on a lighter note, When It Comes by Tyler Hilton (thankfully with no apparent relations to Paris) sounds really yummy :)

i think im scaring my maid. i finished one jug of water already, and im soon depleting the second one. hiaks, im so bloated its crazy! i think if you squeeze my HUGE tummy now, i might actually puke water out or something. gross innit? hahas ohwells.

laters.

if i could only let you know
i'd give up everything i own
for just one more day with you
there's nothing i wouldnt do
i could not let it pass me by
if i make every sacrifice
to bring me back your love
if only we could live twice

we'll meet in another life
if only we could live twice

--

:) sweet song! slept at three last night (or morning if you prefer), and woke at eight this morning. this is unhealthy i swear, and my eyebags :| ugh! lets not forget the part about my face breaking out like nobody's business.

but ohwells, its all worth it, cus i get to meet my darlings today :D

rahh, my morning just got severely ruined by a stupid sms, from (an obviously equally stupid) sender. like what is so difficult to understand about the word no?

hahas okok, i should calm down. cant afford to ruin my mood for the great day ahead :)

so anyway, this is just some random thought that went through my head yesterday. im sure many, if not all, are familiar with the saying many people walk in & out of your life, but only ________ (people who in general, matter to you) leave footprints, or variations that are largely similar to this.

but if you stop to think about it, why do these people leave only foorprints?

if you consider them as ________, and they honestly left a huge impact on your life (or still continue to), shouldnt they mean more than a couple of footprints? i dont know about you, but for me, i feel that people who mean something me would never actually leave my heart. although they may not be present in my life physically, but would be in my thoughts and on my mind, maybe not constantly. regardless of what, i definitely doubt that it'll just be traces or evidence of their presence previously.

so to my dear friends, i hope i don't just leave footprints in you life, but rather, you still recall who i am, and hopefully make the effort to keep in touch alright?

and you can be sure, that ive already reserved a spot for you, if youre not already with me.

--

mid morning crankiness? maybe.

yer gbk OOPS me! -points finger accusingly. hahas but lucky i was smart enough to save it! :D -beams. read on, for your eyes only.

qingtuesday on ah, dont pangseh me! -growls. im gonna ask the whole world or sth, and pray hard that theyre free. hahas imagine i ask ask ask, then left afew people only?? hahas so paiseh i swear. so anyway, its been such a long time since we last met up, you stupid bitch. you better make time for your monster here, or i'll like delete yer name off my hp contacts or sth!! hahas this is a threat! gosh, i swear having a conversation brings out the worse in me. no its just with the fkers actually. even our name is like, BAD. hahas. all sortsa nasty words pop outta my mouth every now & then. like UGH. so anyway (goshh i sure digressed alot), yes please do be my biatch army for that one day, and i'll return you to COUGH COUGH alr. hahas gawd ok im being dumb la .__. pre-holidays depression! (i dont even know how tht is possible honestly, who gets depressed over HOLIDAYS ??) maybe just crankiness or sth i suppose. so yes, basically i signed to just remind you of tuesday.!! i have serious capabilities of digression & crapping aye? :D hahas tkcare, love you biatch.

and if you thought that my MSN chat with dead date xin was funny (refer to two entries before this one), you ought to visit her blog to see what it led to.

haha our convo after she tried to steal my boyfriend with her porn flicks! hilarious i swear :D

-gringrin. i cant wait for our date on monday! its been how many monkey years since i last saw those lazybums of mine, and of course my dear lari :D

ohh, to the fkers/fmu (gosh i hate addressing ourselves sometimes) out there, we're planning an outting on tuesday to sentosa or something. :D please do make yourself available alrighty? thanks thanks!

to everyone else, enjoy the week break! hahas. :)

i suspect my hair is too heavy.
all that weight, is causing me headaches :(

im so full of crap right? this is not being spastic anymore though, my head really does hurt quite often nowadays. -frowns.

speaking of being spastic, i suddenly recall an incident that happened on friday.

huiyi, sam & i were so bored that we were roaming around NJC aimlessly. then sam realised she left her water bottle in the chem lab this morning. so we headed for there to pick it up. the lab is on the fourth level, and we got so lazy we decided to take the teachers lift up. it was so hilarious, trying to make sure that there wasnt anyone around & stuff. laughed like crazy la, cus we were trying to be sneaky sneaky while imagining silly scenarios at the same time :D

i think i'll really miss everyone so much when i leave :( acks.

i did go out today after all :D with the girls from the fellowship! -gringrin. hahas that would include the butterfly girls, and the traitor.

i dont believe i can get any less spastic right now. hahas :D ok basically, its just joyce, vonn & i! cus the three of us got the same ring, so its like the fellowship (think lotr). then, joyce & i got the same butterfly necklace, so we're the butterfly girls! :D

lol i think theyre all gonna kill me if they see this! -shrugs. OOPS? :D hahas. but yeahh great fun with them

really sorry to dearest joyce though, for being 45min late :| acks. bestie & i were both super late! it was just great to meet up with them! :D hahas my dearest bimbotic dimbotic girls! lol, dimbo is a bimbotic girl with brains by the way, we came up with it last year! :D

- stones can rock; says:
hahas hot & passionate??

  - stones can rock; says:
you think what

  - stones can rock; says:
porn ah?

- xin ; my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason to say goodbye says:
haha yes!

- xin ; my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason to say goodbye says:
mayb i can be future RA movie scriptwriter

- xin ; my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason to say goodbye says:
u wont knw eh.. nxt tym ur bf will thnk me for tht

- xin ; my tears are turning into time ive wasted trying to find a reason to say goodbye says:
HAHA

--

MSN with xin. hahas wth! totally amusing i swear :D

uploaded more photos! hahas, feel free ta view :D

click here. not alot though, maybe about 10 or so? but ohwells ..

have a nice day everyone :)

something tells me that last night's entry wasnt justified enough, especially the part when i saw a certain somebody. mmmm, for all those who are wondering .. i saw broc. yes, her.

goodness gracious me! i almost wanted to faint, honestly. hahas. so weird, especially since its been a LONNGGGGGG time since i last saw her. i dont deny that i was still smiling like a total toot when i saw her! :D

lalala, oh wells :) but shes a person of the past, i must look towards the future now!

and there are much MORE pressing issues here. hahas, ive absolutely no plans for today!! this is far more depressing i swear. and to top it off, its the first day of the march holidays! yes, hahas its a total crisis man.

one two three, OH MY GAWDDDD!

okok, thats exaggerating it la. im not a social animal either, so i guess staying home aint that bad la. but it really doesnt help tht there are sales going on :(

nono, hahas i must think positive! sales = money spent. must curb my spendthrift habits, or i'll soon be a pauper! and i suspect my mum plans to disown me :( hahas, my bank account seem to have no incoming money! and lets not forget my allowance issues. lol i guess zhengyu has to um, tock soon. hahas its part of their cat high lingo thing, i honestly am not involved in this man.

okie doks, i shall go upload the few photos i took on thursday & friday. i really feel like chopping my face OUT of the pictures, but that would leave a HUGE hole (cus i have a fat face), so maybe not.

hahas, pardon my stupidity here, cus ive been having headaches recently. and right now, im not spared from it either, so yeahhh. hahahs no its not an excuse for me to be stupid ok!! -growls. ok, i should really just stop displaying it on the WorldWideWeb. :|

friday! :D hahas i love fridays man, although today turned out to be rather bland & slack. but ohwells, the idea that its FRIDAY makes everyth alright man :)

no wait .. AHHHHH i havent planned my saturday yet :| this is bad i swear, the weekend is the most essential part of my week, and yet i dont have anyth in mind yet. and to top it off, my lazybums arent free :( dreadfully depressing!

its 12.45am in the morning by the way. its honestly confusing when you see the date being saturday's, yet im talking about friday.

so yeaa today, i went to school basically for chem practical, chem lecture & history tutorial. i almost skipped history, was about to take my bag & walk away already (since there would only be three in the class), but still i went. and boy am i glad i went. the history tutor (mark lo) was SO nice i feel guilty even thinking about skipping his lesson.

me: im sorry sir, but i didnt do the assignment
him: didnt do? ok lorr, we do it together now.

SO NICE! i almost cried+fainted. cus i was really afraid that he would flare up & all, but he just looked at me and said that in the most kind voice! he even wrote the answers on the board, when he usually didnt. goshh! the 11.40am to 2pm slacking time was definitely worth it :D for those who dont know, i didnt have any lessons today afer 11.40am, and since i cant tk history anymore i didnt really wanna go for lessons.

so yeahh, met up with the other girls, slacked more then went to town.

ohhh and on the way, huii, michelle, sammie & i decided to go for the CJ rockerfellaskank thing. :D had dinner in town then headed down.

highlight of the day! :D a REALLY cute boy waved at me, or so i like to believe. i am a kid-hater in case you dont know, so if i say hes cute, TRUST ME hes cute. and .. i saw another person too.

ahhh, im getting so sleepy, a longer entry next time la. time to rest now.

hahas isnt that heading so cute? wilson told me that last night on MSN. so to all fellow stoners out there, we can rock too :D ahhh sheesh i forgot to take picture with him, just remembered. :| nevermind, there's tomorrow, since im not gonna pon school.

i hate it when tagboards are down. -growls.
not that i have one, but its totally annoying when i wanna leave a note for some people and i cannot get them. RAHH.

first it was signmyguestbook's stupid OOPS thingamajig, then doodleboards just disappearing, now even tagboard has a problem.

tsktsk. isnt there something that is actually reliable?? so yes, people with a tagboard in yer blogs, ive something to tell each of you. lets all just wait patiently for stupid tagboard to work again, or maybe .. you all can look for a better alternative? :D

--

tagboard issues aside, i really want to be Mrs Richard Marx or Mrs Savage Garden Mrs Darren Hayes :D hahas. their voices are like SO NICE, and the songs too! goshh imagine if they were actually written, sang & dedicated especially for you? so sweet :)

i think too much i suppose .. acks. :( but it is totally absolutely sweet, youve gotta admit. ahhh well!

caught Hitch just now with huii, sammie & waiyee! :D hilarious i must say, i laughed so hard i could feel the seat shaking too.

and it turns out that waiyee skipped school too. hahas so it was us four, out of six, OC girls :)

mmmm, did (unproductive) window shopping & a little pigging out :D hahas thats what you get when you have the three pigs together, waiyee left after awhile la :D sat around, talked & refused to go home. -sigh.

i guess its back to school again for us. :( depressing depressing! acks. but ohwells, tomm is THURSDAY! :D our favourite day of the whole darn week. -beams. lalala.

lari heys dear im not angry with you or anyth ok? was just really tired & all, didnt mean to sound pissed or anyth like that. and im so so sorry about making you late & stuff, really didnt mean to. :| so yes, i cant wait for our gardens date anyhows, dont play out on me ok!! :D seeya then, love.

suddenly recalled something that a certain somebody said about me, i dont know exactly how accurately the person described me but it honestly did give me a shock then.

dont know why i suddenly thought of the whole episode. -sigh. basically that person said that i am a very different person, from what i appear to be. as in my actions & appearance doesnt match at all, and that person didnt expect me to be like that.

mmmmm, how strange that i still remember it so clearly till now. cus the entire conversation was filled stupid lame jokes, and the person is a joker as well.

-shrugs.
that was so random i swear.

i was thinking of the emotional roller coaster ive been on, since i turned sixteen. quite amazing, to find myself still in one piece sometimes. hahas. :D and btw, i just turned sixteen less than three months ago.

the number of disappointments i faced during this period has left me feeling rather depressed at times. life dealt me with so many blows all at one go, that made me feel so helpless. it is honestly so scary to be losing control of so many things in my life, bit by bit, watching them slip away.

the hardest part was probably to witness how things turned out so differently from my expectations, or at least my hopes & ideas. everything spun out of control, into a totally different dimension altogether.

if youre wondering what point im trying to make here, i can tell you now, there is no point im trying to make through this entry. so yes, it is a pointless entry. i just need an outlet to help my organise my thoughts.

and yes, i read in a book once, that females do need to voice things out to organise their thoughts. they do it as they speak, and not in their head. hence, by actually talking it out, they feel better, and less confused about things. and this is what i need now.

hahas, then again maybe having another set of brains would help too. i'll then be able to transfer some of my thoughts over, then it'll be easier to sort them out.

yes im so rubbish i do realise. but pardon me, that my brain doesnt function well at 10.29am on a wednesday morning, where i'll usually be at GP lessons, stoning & waiting for the break. yepyep i skipped school. hahas goshh i cant actually believe i failed to mention it until now.

hiaks, i really do need new brains :| someone please remove the stones in my head, cus im like permanently stoning now.

goshh okk, im really getting very confused now. looks like the long walk i took last night was of not much help aye. ohh, recall the dilemma i had in my previous entry about whether to go jogging with all the cheekopeks in the park? i took a long long walk (dont ask me whats the difference since the cheekopeks were still there) instead of a jog.

gonna be meeting huii & sammie later! :D fellow ponners cum pigout partners! -beams. and right now, off i go for a jog.

late for school today :| totally yucky, cus got caught by tongtong. hahas but the worst part was that i actually woke up early today! all thanks to my brother who escorted me to school, i was late. hadta wait till 4.30pm to collect my ezlink card, when i ended at 2pm ._. ugh, totally killed my plans of going anywhere!

-growls.

oh but staying back in school was definitely worth it :D hahas firstly, waiyee treated us to venezia!! -gringrin. she bought the 1500ml one back to school, which was HUGE. hahas we were all squealing in delight & excitment in the canteen.

and of course, staying back was definitely worth it cus of other reasons :) -beams. lalala, shant go into the details here!

mmm, sammie, waiyee & i are thinking of mass ponning tomorrow, anyone interested? :D we can all go catch a movie together & skip d-day! d-day is derek lee (our CT) day btw, cus we have so many econs lesson, PLUS long civics period so its like seeing him so much. and .. we've econs test tomorrow! so if anyone's interested please do organise something! :D

acks, im supposed to go for a jog in 15 minutes' time, but the sky is so dark already :| should i go? eeks there are always SO MANY cheekopek looking men around at this time. -frowns.


laters.

to all SNGS girls who are reading this, if you or you know of anyone who got c5 for English prelims please PLEASE pretty please contact me asap. urgent urgent ok! thanks a whole lot.

--

went to crash SAJC today, disappointing i must say. -sigh. totally wasted my morning la, and it didnt help that the woman there was so BITCHY!

-growls.

but yeahh, went back to NJC after that. was thinking if i should meet xiu or sth, but after i talked to huii i wanted to FLY back to NJ alr la :D hahas i swear waiyee has all the luck in the world!! unfair unfair.

had PE (can you imagine i went back to NJ to attend PE??) and math tutorial, where the math tutor was acting quite sick. grossed us all out :|

hahas went to KAP after school with huii, michelle, sammie, waiyee & yins :D pigged out as usual, and talked+gossiped alot. hahas honestly we talked about all sortsa things, including eyecandies & how to deal with them, and even talked about how ohdi would wear the funny netted singlety (think fifty first dates) thingamajig. how yucky!! :|

but yeahh, had tonnes of fun with them la :) hehs, cant wait for girls night out on friday!!

sigh, i guess i should go offline now. i feel bad for not doing my Potsdam tutorial, even though i most probably wont get to take history anymore :| the history tutor is just too nice already. hahas, no i dont have a thing for him in case you were wondering.

yeahh, and there's math quiz tomm also :| acks. hahas although i claim im going off to do my work, i'd probably end up reading or sth ._. ohwells.

i finally uploaded the pictures took in NJC. :D

there you go. click here to view them. ahhh i think i'll really miss each & everyone of them!! hiaks :| hahas anyhows, enjoy!

wan ok ive no idea how to reply you but in my pitas. so anyways, thanks for signing, though ive no idea how you got here in the first place. but this is not the point la :D hahas. so anyway, i really hope youre feeling better already, cus you wont wanna waste time being unhappy, when it might (but likely not, for you) be the last of your days in NJ. but whatever it is, hahas smile & keep rocking la :D and fret not ok, cus im an emo emo (emotional) girl too! lol. tk care :)

with a mere sms, i know youve dismissed me from your life completely already.

it wasnt the contents, but the hidden meaning behind it. and of course, the intentions of the sender, or rather the lack thereof.

-sigh.

yet when humpty sings, i still wish its your name i see.


mmmm, anyways i came online to pita about something else! oh gosh, i cant remember what. :|

hahas i seriously want to dig a hole & kill myself sometimes. my memory is SO BAD! -growls. oh ok wait, i just realised this was what i was intending to talk about, my bad memory :|

no that was not my idea of an introduction in case you were wondering .. hahas was gonna write about my bad memory as well last night, before i started dozing off.

im really REALLY sorry to those people whom i dont reply sms to! hahas. seriously man. there are only three situations where i dont reply sms to you ok. firstly of course is when either party dont receive it la, so it seems like i didnt reply. secondly, its when im ignoring you, then i wont reply your sms. but i dont do it so often anymore, im trying to stop this bad habit of mine now! hoho, but of course if you pissed me off, dont expect anything from me. i'll just tell you i didnt receive a single thing, and act all innocent & sad about it. hahas evil evil, but i dont quite care either.

and finally, the third situation which is getting so common lately. i forgot if i sent the message or not! i know i can check my Sent Items folder, but the thing is that there's something wrong with that folder. it has sent items from eons ago, but not the recent ones. so no point in checking. and the thing is, when i type the replies, i always forget what i was gonna say, so i'll hafta go back and check what the sms was about. after that, i'll usually think aiyaa reply later when im free. so, i end up having sms from long ago, unreplied in my inbox. and ofcourse, undiscovered until a much later date. hahas terrible i know. when i do discover it, lets say within the same day, i cant remember if i replied or not. so i end up not replying still, thinking that i did already.

hahas confusing i know. but its a vicious cycle basically, that makes me not reply sms. so yes, really sorry if i dont reply yours alright.

now .. i hafta do some replies. guestbook replies that is :D and finish captioning the pictures that i took recently so that we can all see it! so till the next time i recall something else that i wanted to pita about, goodbye folks :)

been putting off pitasing a proper entry for a long long time. mmmm, brain's been so filled with random thoughts, that i have no idea where to start. and when i did sit down in front of the com, i even fell asleep ._. hahas.

so anyway first things first. the sky is REALLY PRETTY :D hahas honestly i swear man. was walking home last night (and tonight), and i literally stopped in my tracks to just look to the sky all mesmerised. guess what happened last night? i was looking up, smiling to myself at how brightly the stars were, and how they were everywhere. then .. i looked to my right and to my horror, my neighbour (half naked no less) was looking at me like i was mentally retarded. GOSH so embarrassing man. but honestly, i bet he was up to no good either!! who washes their car in the middle of the night, half naked?? -growls.

hahas totally spoilt my new found happiness in an instant. so just now as i was walking home, i checked to see if anyone was around first before looking up! :D

im so silly i know, cant help it either la. lol how do you cure silliness? :D

mmmm anyhows these things aside, ive been doing lotsa thinking (as usual ..) and got really depressed. ive been avoiding this topic for a really long time, but i got down to seriously thinking about it this morning when i was jogging.

i wondered what will happen after JAE, and the fate of the people who were in the PAE period of 05s12. i thought about each & everyone of us, about orientation, getting to know each other, having lessons together & all that. this period of time spent together has changed me in certain aspects, and im just blessed to meet so many totally great unique people :) i'd seriously miss every single one of us, so much. you know i got so sad thinking that i couldnt jog anymore. lost my focus & as much as i tried i just couldnt go on anymore, i was really close to tears already. its just that this whole thing has left such a great deal of impact on me, that i believe its gonna take me longer that i can imagine, to get over it. and the thing is, all of y'all are gonna move on together without me (and maybe some others) while im still moping around missing everyone. i really got so sad thinking about this part.

some of you might laugh it off and proclaim, we can still keep in touch. but ask yourself, how many times have we made such empty promises of being friends forever, and how often have we've actually kept it? -shrugs.

the worst part? friends of years can drift apart, reduced to a mere hi & bye out of courtesy, and sometimes we dont even bother with putting on that act. now what about friends for only three months? i wonder is the word friends even appropriate here? i dont have an answer at all.

but still, im gonna be missing everyone & everything so much. i just got used to things, and now i'll hafta adapt to a new environment all over again. i am quite unfriendly & antisocial by nature in case you didnt know. and i really really dislike having to make friends all over again, its so tiring! -growls.

i honestly thought i got over this whole episode about olevels, grades that werent up to expectations, being placed in a new environment. so what triggered this avalanche of emotions you ask? a simple sentence in fact. why are you taking pictures as if youre leaving soon? cant remember who said this, and what the exact phrase was either. but its depressing aint it? i realised what it meant to leave, and i thought about what it would mean to them, if anything at all. its so sad to part, just as the bonds were slowly being forged. so cruel this is, i swear. (hahas the word bonds reminds me of mrs kong, the chem tutor, and her little joke about cleavage)

mmm of course i understand that theres no such thing as being friends forever, so i spent the past few days taking pictures, trying to make the best out of (what is most likely) my last few days in NJ.

so yes, ive came to terms that i most likely wouldnt be staying. and please dont feel the need to say things like maybe the .., cus i dont feel any better at all. the word maybe holds not much significance to me. it could lead to endless opportunities, and at the same time, we cannot forget about failure & disappointment.

mmmm im getting sleepy & confused already. what im trying to say that, although i predict that this would just be yet another passing phase in my life, but right now, it hurts.

--

ok time for something more lighthearted. i caught Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events yesterday! :D its damn nice la, was so entertained throughout the entire show.

and i was out with my GIRLFRIEND (im not straight, didnt you know?) today! -beams. hahas ok there were other people, but ultimately, it was just the both of us :)

ok im really sleepy now. shall head to bed already. there are more things i wanted to write about, but not tonight. im dozing off already. hahas i wouldnt want to spend another night on the chair at the computer table ..

dont try to live so wise.
dont cry cus youre so right.
dont dry with fakes or fears,
cus you will hate yourself in the end.

sometimes i feel that this song is mocking me, reminds me of how i screwed up my o's, and where all my studying time went to. i honestly do wish that things werent that way, but ohwells its over now!

so lets just treat this as any other ordinary song :)

was telling xiu about how sour i felt. GRR. honestly, dont piss me off nowadays, cus i feel so bitchy & cranky its crazy!

on a lighter note, i had a fab day with huiyi & sammie after school :) totally pigged out like crazy la, went to the tomyum place and after that, had venezia! hahas, it was like total bliss i swear! :D the three of us shared the 750ml box, and omg, hahas it was just so yummmmmm :) honestly!!

dont look at me like tht. hahas im guilty alr ok, but it was really good. hehe. so anyway, to make up for it, i WALKED home from amk central in an attempt to shed those pounds.

hahas, not helping me at all! im still FAT. and tomm im meeting the lazybums again :D im meeting them so often its practically unhealthy man. but then again, who cares right? cus i really love them so :) ohwells :D

im seriously pitasing too often lately. but ohwells, just loadsa thoughts strike me, and i really have an urge to write them all down.

life sometimes seem like charades to me. you play different roles constantly, putting on a blur of many expressions. which is real, exactly? i often criticise others for being totally hypocritical, but yet who wishes to be labelled with such an ill name, if he is able to be happy being himself?

and sometimes, i also wonder if i behave tht way too. im just lost sometimes. but with regards to human behavior, there aint gonna be a specific code of conduct to guide me along. cus nobody's perfect?

im getting really intrigued by the human nature, behavior, thoughts processing system & etc. wanna learn so much about all these things, but at the same time, im not so sure if i wanna know either. so what if i know about all these things, is it gonna make anyth better?

-shrugs.

ahh wells. shant think about it any longer. too much for my puny brain to handle right now. i'll just mourn for my hair or something. hahas its so weird now! i am now the Toot And Goondu Modern Pontianak, also known as TAGMP! hahas.

i think i should shorten the P word to ponti, cus constant repetition of that word is starting to freak me out a little. :|

i wish the radio stations would just play more MUSIC, and talk/advertise LESS. its so annoying sometimes, to have so much talk & no good music. -growls.

but anyways, i heard something on the radio just now tht brought back several memories. the Arts House is turning one soon. time really flies aint it? i can still remember last year when we rushed to change & cab down to the Arts House for the launch of SGEM (Speak Good English Movement). getting to meet Arnold Gay & Karen Tan, plus having the performance itself in the old parliament house was already a bonus :) and how could we forget receiving those smses from Kah Keh, from TheatreWorks :D he'd always end off with KK, making us all laugh in amusement.

mmmmm, but i supposed the best parts were getting to know the juniors :) all six of us had a real great time! geraldine, lei, rachel, sonia & xinlin. i miss you all!! :D

and yes, i do miss the entire Unbound backstage crew as well. hahas amazing how a simple phrase could bring back so many memories innit? but yea i do miss Unbound still, where i felt so darn proud of everyone i could literally BEAM. :)

ahhhhh ..

sorry if im boring everyone out, just that i really had an urge to talk about it. i even procrastinated my jogging plans (despite the fine weather) to pitas about this. :D hahas.

and i got a haircut, by the way! hahas no more pontianak looking wai, my hair's all layered & my ponytail is practically non-existant! hahas should have just cut it short la. why did i leave a tiny stump behind in the first place?

hahas oh wait, cus i didnt intend for my hair to be so thin in the first place. wanted a trim, but winded up becoming quite a big change.

but yea, im satisfied :) haircuts always make me happy! well, unless theyre disastrous of course ..

back to the pontianak part. i was telling everyone that i looked like one, and asking for their comments. hahas and they said i am a MODERN one :D which pontianak wears glasses?, or youve braces on!, or something else pertaining to either one, or both. oh, and plus my highlighted hair as well :D hahas. im an MP! :D

but yea really felt like digging a hole to curl up & hibernate just now in school. was SO sleepy, eyes hurting, bad hair day, and basically just SHAGGED. -growls.

hahas rest assured i'll cast tht nasty image away tomorrow, after all tomorrow is THURSDAY! :D hahas our (especially for the OC girls!) favourite day innit? -laughs. oh well :D

for now .. jogging time! :D

spent the day with the lazybums. im just thankful to have them, the two persons who are so close to heart, its as if theyre a part of me.

:)

anyway, ive ate SO many different types of chocolates today, i think i'll hafta spend the rest of tomorrow trying to lose those pounds. GRR. terrible terrible. i was heading to xiu's place, when i decided to get some stuff for us to eat & do. hahas and i stood at the chocolates section grabbing stuff until both my hands were full. the person was looked kinda horrified, cus i couldnt really balance everyth. hahas retail therapy in the supermarket ;)

and i bought like three magazines at one go as wells. hahas call me crazy :D

ahhhh yins is guilttripping me! :| should i just go to school tomm? i really hate to leave her alone, i'd totally kill myself for doing that. but at the same time, i feel so bored :| hiaks. i really dont like facing such a dilemma. -growls.

we'll just see how i guess. hiaks.

i can make it through the rain
i can stand up once again on my own
and i know that im strong enough to mend
and every time i feel afraid
i hold tighter to my faith
and i live one more day and
i make it through the rain

--

was just about to log off from my com, hahas seriously i was one step away from pressing the Log Off button already. anyway, the point is, the song just suddenly came on my winamp! coincidence? hahas and the thing is, i really dont like this song (my brother downloaded it by the way), in fact i dont even remember adding it to my playlist. strange aye?

but i suppose its trying to tell me something. get up, and move on wai! :D

just archived my february entries. mmmm glad to be shoving all those nasty thoughts outta my mind :) it seems like all the bad stuff always happen on the last day of the month. seriously! for quite a few months, the very last entry would be a totally bad one, then i'll wind up archiving the next day.

good thing i suppose, chasing the blues away, and starting afresh :D i really am feeling alright now, no longer moping around or whatsoever. :)

oh and would anyone kindly guide me to a website that has lyrics for techno tracks? hahas, where's my pL rol when you need her in times as such! she was the one who got me listening to all this in the first place man

gonna be meeting the lazybums later ;)