spent the whole day feeling like im at the wrong place at the wrong time.

mm .. i think ive decided alrd, but i guess i should consult my lazybums first. afterall, they are the ones who never fail to make me feel good each time.

omg okay right now i seriously cant breathe. IM SO FREAKED! its like from feeling enlightened to a sense of fear gripping at me. :|

this is my retribution for being too lazy to go to school :| hahas damn.

basically yesterday i was sick & dying. so i didnt study much for the math timed practice everyone else had today. plus there's PE so i decided (under my parents' encouragement) to skip school today.

felt pretty much okay for the whole day. spent my morning watching tv reruns & OPRAH (dont laugh okays, i seriously like oprah lol). but now at 8pm im sneezing all over again :| hahas this sucks man, cant do this to me after ive completed my math+chem tutorials !

oh yes, but mighty thanks to sister fabian & his sis who accompanied me to the polyclinic :D hahas yes im an ignorant girl who has never been to one before! the queues were so long :| but but BUT, ive found the cutest toddler there :D -beams. shes so adorable i wanna hug her! okay imagine wai the kid hater actually liking a kid, you should know how cute she is :D but Fabian Lim DIDNT TAKE A PHOTO OF HER !!!!! :( -growls.

ohwells, theres always next time :D cus im like super fated with her! when i was paying at the cashier, she was right next to me :D hahas.

ohwells, guess i should be back in school tomorrow! whee a short week :D sighh xin & xiu are starting their holidays soon and by the time it ends, our promos would have just started :( so basically no hanging out with them properly for a long long time. hiaks! unfair :(

hahas nevermind, there's always december ! :D we'll go job-hunting together or something.

my head hurts :(

i wish this flu bug will just leave me alone, cus im like dying. but then again, i ought to be thankful that im not delirious & down with fever.

--

i bruise easily,
so be gentle when you handle me
there's a mark you leave,
like a love heart carved on a tree
i bruise easily,
cant scratch the surface without moving me
underneath i bruise easily,
i bruise easily

i do, honestly.

I LOVE THE BBCIANS !! :D

met dor after school (major yay cus GP sucked as usual) to go back to my place before meeting them at Bugis. as we were walking out of school, we met hongpei :D hahahas was so excited to see her, we practically pranced towards each other! shes still so cute, especially her hair lol.

mm decided not to go home, so yea went straight down instead. shopped around for dor's new bag then joyce came from home to find us. oh yes and vonn was late AS USUAL. ok let me illustrate to you what happened.

i called her at around 4+ when i was still in school
her: mm we meet at six at Bugis okay?
me: oh so you mean seven la lol
her: eh im not you okay wai!
me: oh yes im sure. youre just a taller & slimmer version right?
her: no i'll be on time!

she reached at -drumrolls. TADAH .. seven! so yes bestie what were you saying? mm went to get the food at Cold Storage then back to joyce's place to prepare for the steamboat. by then it was like around 8pm already. hehs im proud to say i chopped the vegetables & molested marinated the chicken! and it was agreed that the ones i prepared were nicer than vonn's :D -beams.

ate till about 10+ and by then we were all SO FULL ! hahahs her house is filled with FOOD, so much to eat. xiao came and there was this major makeover session for dor & vonn lol. mel & xt came after their performance and we started slacking & chilling out. hehs oh yes did this facial mask thing which was so amusing! it feels like youre peeling yer skin off or sth lol.

at about 1+ vonn & i decided that we wanted to lie down. grabbed a huge cushion each & literally plopped on the floor. lol we both zonked out! TSK and they actually took a video of us sleeping!

hahhas guess the rest spend the night gossiping about people on friendster. xiao's weird looking eyecandies according to mel lol. and judging from the nail polish & stuff on the floor, im sure they went crazy. :D

mm then this morning vonn & xiao left one by one, at unearthly hours i must add. :| hahas had more steamboat for breakfast wit the soggy leftovers. started packing up the mess we made & fixed the wrecks we were as well heh. mm left her place at around 12, then i hung around in Bugis with mel & xt. omg both of them are so gonna die tonight la, theyve another performance & it'll probably end even later.

acks what a pity lei didnt join us !! :( YOU ARE MISSED, LEI ! and yes i love joyce's place, its practically like our bbcian den or sth. :D

oh when the saints go marching in,
oh when the saints go marching in
how i wish, im part of the numbers
oh when the saints go marching in

(:
hahas yes i know this is not the actual version, but its the one we've been singing it for the past day & night :D

who am i deceiving ?

so it all boils down to a decision.
or rather, decisions.

--

maybe its time i seriously consider dropping physics. trying to calculate the freaking percentage errors made me so Upset (yes with a capital U) that brought my attention to reality.

so yes maybe its really time to admit, i am weak. accademically weak, physically weak, mentally weak, emotionally weak and _________ (fill this as you wish) weak.

-sigh.

mm, oh yes something for consolation though. was msging somebbody for awhile today, and though he knew about it, he was still so nice. :)

tired :(

im lyin' here on the floor where you left me
i think i took too much
im crying here, what have you done?
i thought it would be fun

i cant stay on your life support,
theres a shortage in the switch.
i cant stay on your morphine,
cus its making me itch
i said i tried to call the nurse again
but shes being a little bitch.
i think i'll get outta here, where i can

run just as fast as i can
to the middle of nowhere
to the middle of my frustrated fears
and i swear youre just like a pill
instead of makin' me better,
you keep makin' me ill

i havent moved from the spot where you left me
this must be a bad trip
all of the other pills,
they were different
maybe i should get some help

--

i really am tired.
running.

but once i stop, everything'll just fall apart. -sigh. and since there obviously isnt Mr Darren-Hayes-from-Savage-Garden to make those sweet promises of Crash & Burn to me, i'll just hafta push on.

i can do this !! cus of the little joys in life of course. firstly, humpty sang cus somebbody msged me :D -beams. staje was quite fun too, though some of the stuff made me feel quite sick :| and plus, i honestly cant wait to meet the bbcians!

okays time to rest. chem spa tomm :|

im tired.
i really am.

-chants repeatedly. im happy im happy im happy im happy

do you think this might help?
-shrugs.
how should i know.

--

ohwells, today was quite a slack day, bland actually. mm but wells thankful that the little stuff went well. for instance i woke up at 650 and i still made it to school on time. :D then PE was so slack, although it was so annoying to keep standing up & sitting down again ._. and kianlin calls me 38 !! -growls. hahas how evil tsk.

oh yea and i saw koonjia just now! lol its been a LONG LONG LONG time since i last saw him. i think like end of january or sth? lol i still remember alex+szehua's birthday celebration :D it was totally crazy man, but fun! hahas reading that entry in my pitas makes me miss those times so much. adrian's O-DOUR & iced tea without tea without ice. -laughs. miss nevil too!!

hahas ok i better stop myself before i go on rambling nonstop! omg i just stumbled on sth hilarious

ohhh, sth SUPER EMBARRASSING happened just now. i was in one of the shops in Paragon, then was waiting at the counter to pay & messaging at the same time. when it was my turn, i fished out a card from my pocket (cus i have no wallet) without looking, and handed it to the salesgirl. turns out, i handed her my EZLINK CARD instead of my ATM CARD. she was so stunned, and i was SO embarrassed. hahas the worst part is tht the picture is like Very Ugly. but it was ok la, we both ended up laughing like crazy.

from one of my january 2005 entries. -laughs. how dumb!

--

lalalas i wanna make the cute shoes too! hahas :D but i think i'll tk an hour to decide on the design.

-looks at xin & xiu. i KNOW you all wont mind ;) -laughs. BECAUSE YOU ALL WILL BE BUSY TRYING TO CHOOSE ALSO !! :D

meeting the bbcians on friday :D omg i CANT WAIT !!!!! hahas i wanna see joyceeee my bimbo :D and her house too! hahas havent been there despite her past invitations.

i wanna go shopping for new running shoes!! omg just realised .. WHY NOT TOMORROW :D hahas whee time to make some calls!

mmm, have a strong urge to watch movies ! :D hahas darn didnt catch Wedding Crashers after all yesterday cus our dearest xin couldnt make it. so yea, shopped around (in my weird haircut no less) & tortured xiu totally with my strange fashion sense :D

but girl, you know i love you ;)

anyways, i saw someone from the recent past in town. was strolling in town outside Scotts looking around and saw this vaguely familiar face. the guy turned. we met eyes for a very brief moment, and even within such a short division of time i could see the wheels turning in his head. im sure he saw mine too. turning away instantly, i grabbed xiu (despite having both my hands full hugging her laptop) and fled immediately.

as always, talking/thinking/seeing that person never fails to make me swear & curse like crazy. so yes profanities started spilling out of my mouth, as if from a never exhaustive source. flustered, panicky (accentuated by my messy hair) & completely in horror, i frantically checked my handphone for a sign to confirm that my eyes werent playing a trick on me. no calls from him. phew i thought, maybe it really was someone that looked like him.

i wish the story ended there, but no obviously not. the 1 missed call from him (oh surprise surprise) indicated otherwise. wells thank goodness i didnt realise the call coming in, or i'd have probably died grabbing xiu's sleeve & hyperventilating. nopes i didnt return the call, and thankfully he didnt make further attempts to contact me (whats new?).

and yes, the story ends here! hopefully theres no part two, or three, or zillion. :| in case you were wondering who that idiot is, i wont disclose it here, considering its the WorldWideWeb & anyth can happen. wells ask me some other time or if youre smart enough, figure it out on yer own. its freaking obvious actually. hahas then again, i think i told many of y'all the story, not the name. :| so ohwells, just ask if ya wanna know!

YES IM SO TRAUMATISED BY THAT IDIOT.

--

wells on a lighter note, parents just got back from grocery shopping. asked my mum if there were anymore things left in the car boot that i could help carry in, she said no need youre my princess! :)

and its pouring outside, despite the sun shining brightly. reminds me of the bbcians somehow, cus we used to exclaim tai yang yu! (loosely translated as uhhh sunny rain? hahhas) okay maybe i was the only one, but hahas it reminded me of them somehow. then xt would say something about how if you get caught in such downpours you'll fall ill & etc :) aww i miss them!

its so bright now! :D how nice!

--

baby youre all that i want,
would you lie in here in my arms?
im finding it hard to believe,
we're in Heaven

i like techno for such obvious reasons

maybe you should find something thats enough to keep you,

maybe you should.

IM GONNA GROW DAMN FAT! :(

ate our favourite KITKAT CARAMEL CHUNKY, then DINNER, and now MAGNUM! plus .. my mum's baking BUTTER COOKIES now. omg, what is the world coming to??

on a lighter note, my com un-died! :D and ohfiveasstwelve rocks, miss them ohsomuch! i mean even MUSCLE AIK turned up :D it was like 18 out of the 24 of us which is like WHEEEE ! hahas. but cant really imagine that its gonna be the last time i'll be seeing aha for a long long time man. and mighty sorry to daph for not going for the dinner :| whats with all the cedarians leaving man tsk.

--

bang bang you shot me down
bang bang i hit the ground
bang bang that awful sound
bang bang my baby shot me down

i was five and you were six
we rode on horses made of sticks
i wore black you wore white
you would always win the fight

seasons came and changed the time
i grew up i called you mine you would always laugh and say
remember when we used to play

music played and people sang
just for me the church bells rang
after echoes from a gun
we both vowed that we'd be one

now youre gone i dont know why
sometimes i cry
you didnt say good bye
you didnt take the time to lie

and i love my lazybums :) meeting them tomm ! :D

com died :(

and yes im Very upset about it cus all my pictures are gone. hate this week totally so far, wish i could go right back to the weekends! no wait, to be specific, saturday with my lazybums :)

-sigh. wells thank goodness for my bro's laptop now. especially nd who never fails to make my day :)

mm looking forward to tomorrow, my dental appointment :D hahas pardon my excitment, but yes i FINALLY got down to getting it down. or rather, my mum did :D hahs, and after that will be meeting ohfiveasstwelve! hopefully we have mighty loads of fun like we always do, hahas i never loved school the way i did then :D

and there's the weekend ! :D i wanna see the bbcians soon too definitely, go to xt's place to slack swim+study again! :D lalalas.

guess lotsa things are just the way the are, gotta accept it or move on. there is always a choice, a way out. but what about mine. to be controlled & resign to it, or simply break away?

-shrugs.

wells, wish this week would just past quickly. need a perk-me-up badly :( then again, hearing humpty sing (yes it did! :D), eating a grapefruit & having nd around to make me smile might just be good enough :)

You scored as Gemini. You get along best with the sign of Gemini. Although Geminis tend to be gossipy, and 'chatter-boxy', they can be some of the most brilliant people you'll ever meet. Communication is their domain. They are very intellectual, and quick witted. Gemini 85% Cancer 75% Taurus 65% Libra 65% Aquarius 65% Sagittarius 65% Leo 60% Pisces 60% Scorpio 55% Virgo 50% Capricorn 45% Aries 40% What sign of the Zodiac are you meant for? created with QuizFarm.com

ripped this off shannie's.
ohmy, make a guess whos Gemini? uh huh, it is mr somebbody! hahas :) and no doubt, i definitely get along well wit Taurus! afterall my two girlfriends whom i spent the weekend with are Taurus :D okay read xin's for update if you wanna know what we did over the weekend.

sigh. guys can be such bastards some times.
-shakes head.

but nonetheless,
well one thing's for sure definitely,
i love my girlfriends! :)
-hugs.

the skin on my feet is peeling :|
how gross.

i dont want the weekend to end,
wish i could spend my day in Sunglade with them.
our little surreal world togt :)

that may be all i need
in darkness she is they are all i see
come and rest your bones with me
driving slow on Sunday morning
and i never want to leave

love y'all :)
and yes,
bang bang
they can die for all we care
especially the Virgo ones
-bimbotic voice mimicking b___ & p__
right darling ?

--

-frowns. need some health supplements!
keep blacking out this morning :|
ugh! so annoying!
maybe i should try catch some sleep too

listening to You're Beautiful by James Blunt now :) a million thanks to that someone who sent it to me, though i know youre probably not reading this.

speaking of sending songs, im looking for Crash and Burn by Savage Garden now so please do send it if you have it yea :) was walking home yesterday, when suddenly the song popped into my head. thought of how i used to like it so much. and voila! its on repeat mode in my head now :D

and yes, i walked a distance from AJC towards home before i decided that i was feeling bored. so i hopped on the bus somewhere near AMK mrt instead.

is there sth wrong wit me, the way i dont delete somebbody's messages? the only one i did, was one that was WAAAAY lame, which i wouldve long deleted if someone else sent it to me. mmmm :| i dont know whats going on. but one thing's for sure: i'll be glad to hear humpty sing, if its your name i see.

-shrugs.

sigh, thought of somebbody again. -shrugs.

i remember you once said, you liked children cus of their innocence. they made you hopeful that this world aint so rotten after all.

this is so random i know.

--

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
eh why wld i miss swimming

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
i cant swin for god's sake

  - waii. says:
hahahhas

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
but i need to mk out desperately

  - waii. says:
MAKE OUT ?????

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
WORK
  - waii. says:
hahahs

so many things to update on, wanted to list 'em all out yesterday, but not anymore i guess. laziness got the better of me :| wells, lets just use pictures alright?



:) backview! hahs. if theyve alerted me earlier i wouldve gotten a much better shot. but nonetheless, -beams. taken on monday, national day celebrations in ajc!


--

girls i love! :D


tuesday, town :) vonn, xiu & i :D xiu's haircut makes her look so cute right? hehs.



slacking in Heeren! birthday girl qing, xiu & xin :)



vonn & qing, totally miss going out wit them man!



-gasp. :)



army & chompy :) happy birthday dear girl.



qing & xiu! lol mollieq ?



BESTIES (: they call us the christmas tree, but ahhwell.



girls in black, qing & xin!


--

STAJEWORKS ! at helmi's place :D


shannie, chinthin, xav, xinjie, kai, daph, jeremy, fish, harry & me. okay at least i think this is the sequence, cus obviously towards the end some of us disappeared in the darkness lol. and im too lazy to edit the photo now, so yes deal with it for now ! :D



the girls (: waay cool right? me, chinthin, xinjie, daph & fish!



the guys! shannie, kai, justin, jeremy, xavier & harry. hope i got the order right. :|


--

yepyep thts abt it for updates. PW IS KILLING !! :|

had such a weird dream last night.
all i remember was probably walking away, bigger strides, faster paces, down a different escalator & hiding.

could hear you calling out after the realisation of my absence, with that confused look on your face. but i was so afraid, i knew i couldnt stay.

run away, that was all i knew at that point. run

--

'wells, yesterdays aside for now, am up early do get some work done. mighty yays for my winamp as company :)

hahas had quite a great day, national day celebrations in school was pretty fun, especially with 23/05 :D hahas watched the video in LT4 in the morning, and our side of the class was hilarious! ohwells.

headed to the area outside the staff room to dress chee up ! :D hilarious, and we just kept singing the stupid one dollar song. -laughs. went down to the AJ square after that, and like from the canteen i could hear .. SUNDAY MORNING :D hahas was so happy, eileen & i started singing away while walking to find our class! hehs. it was way fun, playing with the feather thing plus the paper ball. hahas okay i dont make sense but ohwells :D then later when the judge came .. HEH we obviously wow-ed them with our fab mascot ! :D

sat around playing the number game, zhong ji mi ma, and omg hengwei was lucky enough to guess the correct number THRICE ! -faints. hahas and i was unfortunate enough to guess the number as well. the unlucky people hadta bite one end of the popiah (courtesy of the picnic comm people) while another person bite the other end! tsk and i hadta do that with kunlin in front of serene !! -faints. hahas if i get assasinated you all should know why. slacked somemore, then we could go off after that. :D

headed back to stnicks to meet xin & xiu for lunch. :) hahas talked alot, and i saw mrskoh! :D went to That's It! (brings back memories aye?), xiu got a cute haircut! :D went to Breeks after that, oh yes more memories again, then continue talking :) went to NTUC to pick some things up, talk about bringing back memories .. finally sent xin off. mm xiu & i headed to Sunglade after that. talked from 4+ to like 8+? wells, no doubt friends for 11years man :)

hiaks, damn shagged now. gonna mug soon! hahahas. aniws ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QING !! my dearest army (who didnt reply my messages!) cant wait to meet you tomorrow :D

  - waii. says:
hahha SO SUCK

  - waii. says:
i like the middle finger one

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
yeah this one eeeeee

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
i think we are not gentle lil kittys

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
we are violent vulgar ah lians!


i couldnt resist, my friend here is hilarious! gentle lil kittys??? like wth hahas.


- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
I DONT CARE

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
she send me liao leh

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
wht can u do

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
-shakes bitchy BUM-


WHAT A BITCH !!!! hahas


  - waii. says:
hahas THTS SO SICK, the smiley

one fine day... you gonna want me for your girl! says:
uhbaha

one fine day... you gonna want me for your girl! says:
lks lyk xin

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
YEAH I THINK ITS SICK TOO

one fine day... you gonna want me for your girl! says:
haha

- xin ; to hold you close or set you free says:
eh wah lao!


why do we always end up having such lame conversations LOL. i love the lazybums :D hahas. destress from doing my stupid GP essay definitely. meeting them tomorrow, and on tuesday! -beams.

:)

i like sunday mornings, always so relaxed & lazy. plus both gates would be open and the whole house is so bright! i will listen to Sunday Morning and feel way happy for some reason :) oh yes, and especially so when i had a fab saturday!

lets see, met my geek for breakfast at j8 then headed to xt's place with lei! i was earlier than her -beams. did a tiny bit of work in the KTV room that xt booked for $20/hr, right vonn? lol okay inside joke. :D mel & vonn came down and we all started to slack like crazy. but had tonnes of fun, cus the room was wayyy nice :D the tv was HUGE, and on one of the channels, the camera zoomed in on Brad Pitt's face which was totally drool worthy! -gringrin.



thats me & vonn standing behind the tv. lol and i was tiptoeing slightly so just imagine how huge it was! :D



xt, mel & lei trying to solve that crazy differentiation question!


and there were full-length mirrors on one wall which were major sources of entertainment, ooh-ahhing for us :D hahas lei & i even moved the couches that were blocking the mirror away just so that we could look into the mirrors & be so silly about it :D hahas

oh yes and i like vonn's shirt! :D lol check out paper girl (ie. my bestie!) cus she was covering her face with the math tutorial after we had some silly conversation about not wanting to take a picture of her face.


rugby lives forever.


sadly someone booked the room for the evening, the day before so we couldnt stay on longer :( but it was like totally crazy cus mel suddenly went like i want red hair! it led to chain reactions like ooh purple hair's nice, i want green hair (no prizes for guessing who said this one, followed by eeee from us all). and the next thing you know, we were taking a bus to somewhere near hongpei's place just to get the hairdye lol. OMG and shes like the HCI girls soccer captain la :D makes me realise how lousy/slack i still am! okay lets see who else, joyce is a house captain in VJC, lei shortlisted for two exco positions in HCanoe, vonn in touch rugby exco in TJC, xt vice-president of chinese orchestra in CJC & goodness what more i'll hear in the near future. :|

anyways, we went back to the toilet near the swimming pool (cus we didnt want to dirty xt's place) to do the stuff. hahas we were quite a sight with newspapers everywhere, exclamations of EEKS ITS DRIPPING & OMG YOUR SCALP LOOKS LIKE ITS BLEEDING and etc. plus cus we got facial masks to keep us entertained while waiting for the hair dye to be absorbed so basically we looked like aliens. took plenty of such photos, but im not gonna post it here lest our social circle diminishes to nothing. hahas :D

but yea, had great fun with them :D and my hair looks reddish-brown under light, instead of the intended purple! the worse part is tht, when im not under light, it looks black :( but wells, it was a fab day :D

plus, had a nice talk with vonn on the way back :) hiaks i miss them already, all our lame jokes, silly conversations which are totally hilarious, the nonsensical things we say some times :D lei our friend who has toned+nonflabby arms, mel the gossiper who seems to know all sortsa gossips from everywhere, vonn the silly bestie who is still tone-deaf, xt the lame & dao girl who has a GREAT house with wooohooo swimming pool :D

yesterdays aside, im really glad for the 5day break although ive a GP essay & econs DRQ due tomorrow. ohwells :D aniw sorry for the late replies to guestbook entries & etc, hahas feeling lazy lately.

:D

tonight tonight,
hes gonna get it right
even losers can get lucky sometimes
all the freaks go on a winning streak
in a perfect world,
all the geeks get the girls