My Life and Mind in a Pita Shell

You tell your parents that a flying car took you all the way to the Burrow, and that's where you were all night, trying to get back.

You sneak a peek at the back of your least favourite teacher's head. When they ask what you're doing, you reply "Just checking".

You light a fire every night, just in case the Weasley's are using some Floo Powder.

You fail an eye exam on purpose, just so that you can get round glasses like Harry's.

You start looking into how to get reserved seats and tickets for the next six films.

You rush towards the television when you hear Hedwig's Theme and sit there, amazed, until the commercial ends.

You don't know how to spell Sirius the other way.

You make a cup of tea whenever you or someone else is upset, just because it's what Mrs. Weasley would do.

You want to study to keep the Hermione spirit alive.

You cried when your 11th birthday passed and you weren't notified about Hogwarts. (I really did)

You hiss at random people, insisting that you accidentally spoke Parseltongue to them.

You rename your dog Fluffy.

You think it would be funny if Sirius's middle name was Lee.

You act out scenes from the Harry Potter film at lunch break - just because you can.

You spend hours pointing at a feather mumbling "Wingardium Leviosa" and when it doesn't fly, insist that you were pronouncing it wrong.

You try to justify Harry Potter to your friends by talking about its deep sub-contexts.

You take a pen and scratch "Nimbus 2000" in your broom at home.

You scream "Peeves! I'll have you!" when the hot water in the shower runs out.

You go to King's Cross Station and run at Platform 9 ¾…you smack yourself silly but just shake it off, insisting to passerby's that Dobby rigged it again.

You see a large black dog and think either: A) "OH NO! I'M DEAD!" or B) "Hey there, Sirius!"

You hear someone talking down about Harry Potter and beat him or her in the head with your Goblet of Fire book.

You check the sky often, just in case the Weasley twins are flying their car or someone's playing Quidditch.

You pick up your toothbrush and mutter "Lumos"

You ask strangers on the street if they've read the books. If they haven't, you label them Death Eaters.

You buy a snowy owl and attempt to send letters with it.

You celebrate your birthday on July 31.

You constantly (without meaning to) call your teachers "Professor".

You believe that JK wrote the books based on her own experience, and that she is really Hermione, and that this is all a plot by Dumbledore to break the news to us Muggles gently that there is magic for real and to get us involved in the fight against Voldemort since he's still out there in Albania.

You go into spasms if someone says "Voldemort" and correct them by saying "You-Know-Who".

You write with a quill.

You buy a box of lightening bolt stickers and wear one on your forehead every day.

You carry around parchment and a pen in case Hedwig should turn up.

You start dating a man called "Potter" so you can marry him and name your son "Harry".

You dress up as the Pizza Delivery to get onto the set. ((THATS WHAT WE SHOULD DO MEG!!))

You run around the cinema (when it's sold out) and scream "NO TICKETS, NO PEACE!"

You run around the house or yard on a broomstick screaming "SNITCH!"

You constantly read the books cover to cover, stopping only to eat. (I read while I eat)

You take a sticker off a box of clementines and stick it to your broom because it says "Nimbus".

You walk into a computer/electronics store and have a heated argument with the manager because everything says HP (for Hewlett-Packard) when it is clear that Muggle electronics don't work in the other world.

You walk around predicting random people's death in a misty voice.

You call your enemies by their last name.

You start answering your parents with "Yes, Aunt Petunia" and "Yes, Uncle Vernon" when they tell you to clean your room. (It's so cute in the movie when he does that oh dan *swoons*)

You insist that your parents make you sleep in a cupboard and treat you terribly because you say it teaches you moral strength.

You wear a pointed black hat because they're "All the rage at Hogwarts".

You refuse to speak in anything but lines from the film.

You immediately add those who haven't read the books onto your hit list.

You steal your mum's broomstick and try to fly off the roof.

You wonder if Santa was actually Hagrid when he was younger. (HAHA)

You buy yourself lots of boring books and memorise them so that you can impress Hermione if you should ever meet her.

You're convinced that your Science teacher is a Death Eater. (Hmmm Mr. Rockow doesn't seem the type Hansen maybe()

You've learned the whole time travel theory just so that you can work out the complications to Hermione's time-turner.

You cried at the end of the books (or at any part in the book at all).

You change your name and start randomly riding red trains.

You scream and run around like a headless chicken when you hear the word "Voldemort".

You try your hand at Parseltongue at the zoo and "accidentally" set a massive snake free, so that it looks like you did it by magic. (good idea..)

You see an owl perching on a tree and rush towards it, hoping for a letter.

You go to the department store and ask for the newest broomstick model.

You dig through the refrigerator and beg your mum to get you more pumpkin juice and chocolate frogs. (PUMPKLIN JUICE)

You go to the Home Depot and look for a bathtub like the one for prefects. (That would be so sweet)

You go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and burst out, shrieking "WOW! I SAW MYSELF IN A CORVETTE HOLDING £2,000,000 IN CASH!"

You sit in front of the TV all day, flipping around mindlessly until a Harry Potter commercial comes on.

Even though you're older than 11 and it's past September, you hope and pray that your Hogwarts letter will come soon. (I do)

You make sure that every night before you go to bed you find Sirius, the dog star!

More than one thing on this list applies to you. (dang)

You swear you saw a dementor late one autumn night.

Owls appear to you regularly.

The only dreams you ever have anymore are related to Harry Potter. (hehe guilty)

You celebrate the character's birthdays.

You confuse your birthday with one of the character's.

You wrote this list.

You have a Harry Potter T-shirt. (dogwarts)

You've memorised what happens in each chapter. (I've gotten close)

You've seen the movie more than three times. (the first one more than that hehe)

You checked out a book on Divination and the Salem Witch trials from the library.

You did a scrapbook entry on something Harry Potter related.

You bounce a white ferret and laugh your head off.

Green traffic lights freak you out, especially at night.

People have suggested therapy for your obsession.

You spend hours looking for clues as to what will happen in the next book. (i'm too lazy)

You've read the "101 Things Snape Will Not Do In Book Five" list and can, somehow, picture him doing the macarana!

You start spelling everything the British way (i.e. "mum", "favourite", "labour"). (hehe)

You have a HP-related nickname (hmm call me Sirius from now on..)

You tell everyone you're afraid of spiders, even if you aren't.

The only website you get on is Newsround, either because of the awesome Harry Potter message board where Rupert and Emma post sometimes, or because Newsround is who discovered Rupert (or both!).

Hedwig's Theme gets you really pumped up.

You've researched the meanings of all the names (people with the name Harry are prone to head pains!).

You unintentionally speak in a British accent at odd moments. (I do actually once I couldnt get rid of my fake scottish one)

Your day is unfulfilled without doing something HP-related.

You're considering naming your children a name from HP. (dang guilty again)

You kiss Dan or Rupert's poster before bed (or, if you're a boy, Emma's). (I need to get one of Dan)

When you feel blue, you swear it's because there's a dementor lurking nearby.

You've tried to find the episode of "Kids Say the Darndest Things" that Emma was on. (that would be funny to see)

When waiting for the film to start, you have the book in your hand to pass the time.

At the cinema, you address 20 envelopes to "the People in the Row in Front of me at the Cinema" and throw them in to the air at the appropriate moment. ((HAHAHA))

You boo every time Snape comes on and then chuckle knowingly. (Malfoy=eww ugly man)

You clap when Harry gets the snitch, even if you're the only one. (hehe)

You raise your hand the same time as Emma does in the film. (dangit I did that last night)

You put an egg in your fire and say, "Sh…it's a dragon."

You dress up as Harry, Ron, or Hermione and push through crowds shouting, "let me through, don't you know who I am?"

You try to order raw liver from behind a thick scarf to see the reaction.

You dress as Harry and go to the ice cream parlour and demand to know why you aren't given free sundaes every half-hour.

You have one or more of the books in every room.

You construct a scale reproduction of Hogwarts with toothpicks.

You put your coat over your head and think you're invisible.

Shout out in the cinema, "HAGRID'S WEARING PLATFORMS!"

You spent 3 hours trying to figure out how to find the deleted scenes on the DVD. (I am going to)

You also spent 3 hours watching them.

And 3 hours memorising them.

And 3 hours calling all your other HP fans to quote them. (Hmm when will I have 12 hours to spare)

You bought a DVD player just so that you could watch all 7 deleted scenes.

You freak out if people mix up a Hungarian Horntail and a Norwegian Ridgeback.

You've written at least 10 fan fiction stories. (I am working on that sadly)

If you hear an owl, you search and search for it, shouting "HEDWIG! ARE YOU LOST? PIGWIDGEON! ERROL! WHERE ARE YOU?"

You rewrite parts of the books from other character's viewpoints, i.e. Ron or Hermione.

You get into heated debates with owners of HP websites over how accurate their information is.

You own a HP website.

You have access to this list. You hang a picture of a fat lady on your door and make people say "Pig Snout" or "Fairy Lights" before they're allowed in. (Another good idea)

You daydream about kissing Ron or Harry (or, if you're a boy, Hermione). (DAN!)

You made a chart of rumours most likely to be true, backing them up with both HP and scientific facts.

You can recite the cast of the movie or the characters from the books off by heart.

You buy a blue diary, cover it in eraser pen so when you try and write in it in ink, the ink disappears (like Tom Riddle's diary) then you wonder why it doesn't write back.

You whisper to every black dog you see, "Be careful of the dementors, Sirius."

You examine perfectly ordinary things like the television and say, 'the things these Muggles dream up,' or 'ah, so these run off eckeltricity!'

You try and faint in the middle of Maths because you think your Maths teacher is some form of dementor and you want to hear Lily and James Potter.

You refer to your school hall as, 'the great hall' and manage to relate your 'Muggle' school lessons to Hogwarts lessons. For example, Maths becomes Arithmancy; Chemistry is potions, etc. You confirm this by hurrying down the school corridors saying at the top of your voice, 'Come on, we're going to be late for Potions!'

You apologise for not doing your homework by saying 'the shops didn't sell parchment' (I gotta try this one)