about me
name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin
age: 17
location: socal, usa
hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn
likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public
dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives
contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com
wishlist
playstation 2car
summer job
a good night's sleep
money
stress-free life
trigun dvd box set
realistic wishlist
dayworld by philip josé farmerkabuki by david mack
moxy fruvous live noise
hellsing dvd box set
long-term obsessions
anime/mangayaoi/shounenai
clamp
music
animals
life and living
video games
current obsession(s)
schoolcollege
currently reading
nothing newcurrently playing
ffxkingdom hearts
currently watching
hana yori dango (20)gravitation oav (1)
ayashi no ceres (11)
utena (16)
rayearth (8)
gto tv (15)
ccs tv (19?)
mirage of blaze (6)
star ocean ex (22)
.hack//sign (8)
witch hunter robin (9)
kogepan (9)
weiß kreuz gluhen (2)
09:46 p.m.
listening to: "Break" - Brendan O'Donnell
I have to admit, Kelsey's post made my day. ^^;; Gosh. I had no idea. Um. Thank you. I'm extremely honored. I had no idea I made growing up look easy. **huggles** I know how you feel.
My house smells like a hotel. I don't know why. And there's a fly in the house! Ugh! I hate houseflies.
For some reason, big family things seem to end up with me wandering around the neighborhood in the dark. Most of it's my fault, I guess; I'm something of an attention-seeker, and when attention's not on me I have a tendency to do something impulsive. Another reason is because I'm used to living in my head, which my family doesn't get, and I don't think they're going to get it anytime soon. I'm not naturally a gregarious person. It didn't help I'd been at my aunt's house since ten-thirty that morning because my dad wanted to get there early to play mahjong (or however they're romanizing it these days), and as a result I had nothing to do but seven hours but watch crappy anime (Here and There, Then and Now) and The Scorpion King and hang out with Kelvin. We already know that Kelvin makes me feel inferior as all hell, even though he's a perfectly nice guy.
So halfway through the night I slipped out the back and went for a brief walk in my socks. The brief walk turned into a not-so-brief walk as I ended up going to the park nearby. It's not really that far, but I took the long way around because I was just wandering. When the park came into sight it was surrounded by a fence on the side I was on, so I had to go all the way around the fence, which took a good twenty minutes. I ruined my socks.
There was a little playground set in a pit of sand, standard equipment for all parks, and I went down the slide a few times. Then I walked back to my aunt's house, got my shoes, and went back to the park to play on the rest of the equipment. I was way too tall for the monkey bars, but I fit in the swings and on the slides. It'd been years since I'd been on a swing; I'd forgotten what it was like to think that you could touch the sky.
We all need to relive our childhoods, now and then.
And now, for a list of things I'm thankful for. There's a lot, but I'll list the major ones here, I guess.
I am thankful for:
A roof over my head, clothes on my back, and as many meals a day as I want. Some people don't have these things.
My friends. If you don't think you're my friend, well, you're wrong. You are. I don't have enemies.
My father. He's always been supportive of me, even when he wasn't there. Especially when he wasn't there.
My family. They're clueless, but they'll always be there.
Having opportunities. I have access to fairly good technology, free education, and the opportunity to attend college. I'm making sure not to waste these things.
. . . I think that about covers it. Unless I want to go into little things, like being thankful that I have a computer and books and a good eraser. But really, it's the big things we should be thankful for. They're the ones we more often overlook.
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 [link]
06:07 p.m.
listening to: "Sleepwalker" - The Wallflowers
I'm really spaced out right now, for some reason. Earlier, while doing the dishes, I squeezed dishwashing soap onto the knife instead of on the sponge. Then, when I was doing the laundry, I nearly walked my laundry basket to the kitchen sink instead of the laundry room.
I must be losing my mind.
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 [link]
03:38 p.m.
listening to: "Gin" - Drew Bunting
Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge of the Dreaming, all imagination and creativity, everyone knows your beautiful realm, but none truly understand it. You are dark and brooding, creative, and spend a lot of time by yourself, just thinking. You are almost as serious as Destiny, but not quite. Everyone is enchanted by you, but you keep them all at a distance, even when you shouldn't.
Which Endless are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Um.
Rachel just left. We had a pretty good time. I watched her play Kingdom Hearts, then she watched me play FFX, and then we went out for lunch. When we came back, we watched some episodes of GTO and laughed our asses off. Then she said she had to go home and off she went. Maybe she'll come over another time and we can watch Eva: Death & Rebirth. Because boy, a movie like that just isn't good unless you're watching it in the wee hours of the morning when everything makes sense and everything is funny.
Wednesday, November 27, 2002 [link]
12:44 a.m.
listening to: same
I just read all of Acts of Gord in one sitting. Oh gawd. I'd try to keep my eyeballs from falling out, but I'm laughing too hard.
Tuesday, November 26, 2002 [link]
10:24 p.m.
listening to: ditto
By the way, Will has promised to update Pixelface more often, so I'm supposed to advertise it as much as possible. So go read Pixelface. Encourage Will to make more strips.
Besides, it's really funny. I mean, c'mon! It's Will humor!
Tuesday, November 26, 2002 [link]
10:17 p.m.
listening to:
Thanksgiving Break at last!
Had a fairly interesting day. Well, by my standards. I gave blood today. Giving blood is something I actually find fun. I have so much mass that giving a pint of blood doesn't seem to affect me, and I have a fairly high pain tolerance, so the whole stabby-stabby thing isn't that bad, either. It's the anticipation that's the worst part. Oh, and filling out the form. That's irritating. I'm sick of forms.
We did animal behavior experiments with roly-polies and earthworms in class today. I left the worms in a glass jar in the lab overnight, but today went I went to class I found that somehow had closed it. It's a pretty airtight jar, so I was afraid that the worms had suffocated. Fortunately, I know that one for sure is all right; I'm not sure about the other one. Anyway, the jar is sitting on the filing cabinet right now with the lid open. I hope they have enough to eat.
Rachel's spending the night. Poor girl's still not feeling well, but she's been pretty lively. She played a bit of Kingdom Hearts, and then we went to Orbit and got some Card Captor Sakura, GTO, .hack//sign, and Eva: Death & Rebirth. Check it out: fluffy shoujo, shounen, MMORPG, and mindfuck! We are diverse.
Well, I'm really glad it's Thanksgiving Break. Unfortunately, I didn't finish my apps like I planned, but I think I can definitely finish tomorrow. Columbia University is the only one I have left; it's just taking forever because it's so long.
And now, witty banter between myself and my dad.
Dad: Is Rachel staying the night?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: Oh. I wonder why I didn't know?
Me: Because I never tell you anything. But it's only fair because you don't tell me anything, either.
Dad: That's true.
Me: Like for instance, hey, when did you get married? You know, I bet when you die you won't tell me either.
Dad: Tell you what, I'll make sure to tell you before I die. "Hey, I'm going to die now!" *bam* Like that.
Me: Sounds great.
The sad thing is, I used to joke about my dad not telling me anything. I used to say that he'd get remarried and and not tell me. And you know what? He did. In fact, she's on his 2001 income tax return form.
Monday, November 25, 2002 [link]
11:12 p.m.
listening to: "Haunted" - Poe
Bad Arcana. Bad. Don't drag out the Sloane resolution! I need Sloane resolution! **raaarr**
Although, amusingly enough, if you read her little Kellyrant thing, you'll see that she's addressed the fact that Sloane is not on the cast page. Kaie and I have been discussing this recently, and we came to the conclusion that the reason he's not on the cast page because he's going to die. As it turns out, Kelly's just lazy, and she's going to revamp the cast page soon and include Sloane and Adonis.
Revamp. Ha ha. Ha.
Monday, November 25, 2002 [link]
07:42 p.m.
listening to: same
By the way, earthworms are really fun. Especially the big, fat ones. It tickles when they crawl around on your hand. Teehee!
I love our earthworms. I want to name them.
Monday, November 25, 2002 [link]
06:52 p.m.
listening to: "Happier" - Guster
I really, really hate it when I see people spit in public. Especially in a public place, like a school. And they do it so blatantly; I mean, they don't bother to hide the fact that they're spitting, although I guess that'd be pretty hard to hide. But anyway, I just find it incredibly disgusting. I do not want to see your bodily fluids on the ground, thank you. And I especially don't want to be subject to the millions of bacteria that live in your mouth, some of which are, yes, harmful. And did I mention that spitting is one of the major ways diseases like tuberculosis is spread? For the love of little green apples, if you really, desperately need to spit, do it in a napkin or a trash can. There are trash cans everywhere on campus; it's not that hard.
And now, since the holidays are swiftly approaching and begin to be consumed by greed and materialism, I will now tell a little story.
When my relatives first came here, they didn't have much money. This isn't as true for my family, since my dad came here for college more than forty years ago and was fairly well-established. I imagine he's the one who sponsored some of my other relatives, like my aunt, Janet, my uncle, Thomas, and my cousins Lee and Wayne.
Janet and Thomas's son, Kelvin, you may have heard about already. I complain about his brilliant mind and his 1580 SAT scores and his 4.5 GPA fairly often. He is the sole reason I am not applying to Stanford; he went there, and I don't see any reason to give anyone another area in which to be strikingly inferior to him. As if my 1350 SAT score and 3.9 GPA weren't enough.
I'm fairly sure a lot of this is in my own mind; I haven't once heard any of my relatives comparing me to Kelvin. But I can't help and compare myself to him, especially since, really, my entire family is this brilliant. My entire family learns quickly, is well-read, and is what my peers would call "smart." I thought it was normal.
But, back to my story. So, my relatives didn't have much money when they came over here. Most of them lived with us first before moving out (I spent most of my younger days sleeping with one aunt and two cousins in my bedroom). I still remember visiting Aunt Janet and Uncle Thomas in a tiny house on Earle St. It's still there, with its peeling paint, faded interior, and ancient, musty carpet. They've come up in the world since then and have a fine, big house in Hacienda Heights now. They even have a pool.
That doesn't mean they've forgotten their roots or where they came from. My father's the same way. Just because he has a house in the United States doesn't mean he's become materialistic or snobby. He often complains about how materialistic Americans are. Technology and modern conveniences like microwaves and toasters and refrigerators are just that: conveniences. They aren't necessary for living. He knows because he's lived without them.
My aunt told me this story once when I was young. It's not so much a story as an anecdote. Kelvin, when he was young, was in the habit of asking for a lot of things. Little kids are like that, especially when they've gone from relative poverty to being surrounded by relative wealth. "Buy me that, mom!" "Ooo, get that, mom!" "Can we buy that, mom?" But money was tight, and of course they couldn't buy everything Kelvin wanted. So my aunt would ask him, "Is it something you want or something you need? Because if it's something you really, really need, we'll buy it for you." Kelvin could never honestly say that it was something he really needed, and as he grew older he could recognize the difference on his own and adjusted his spending habits accordingly.
I wish I weren't such a craven, materialistic person. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, not spoiled but close enough. My father's still pretty loose with money, although when it comes to things like an LCD screen or a PS2 he'll put his foot down. ^_^;; I try to remind myself that there are things I need and things I want and spend accordingly, although it can get pretty damn hard to not need, say, Gohou Drug 2. I try not to spend my money on frivolous things. My most effective strategy is to look at the item in question and ask myself if I'm really going to use it every day or close to every day, or if it's just an impulse buy. This usually works, especially for things like artbooks, which are pretty but gather dust after the first few days of ooing and aahing. I have three artbooks that I regret buying, and I'm going to sell them sometime in the near future (Weiß and Weiß2 and X ZERO, in case anyone wants one).
And so, uh, the moral of the story is to try and control yourself. Learn to live without a Discman or an mp3 player or a new guitar, because admit it, you don't really need those things. You just want them. But that's up to you, of course, because I'm not going to tell a complete stranger how to live his or her life. Just because I've learned how to live without a hundred gig hard drive doesn't mean someone else can, and it's not like I haven't gotten a few pretty presents myself. But I'm trying. I really am.
Sunday, November 24, 2002 [link]
11:13 p.m.
listening to: nothing
The concert went well. PYMA spent most of it lounging around offstage, watching the other kids enviously and complaining occasionally about how we could leave and nobody would notice. Bleh. It was nice, though, watching the other kids play. I particularly recall the Vivaldi concerto, which was conducted by a student conductor. I was fascinated by his hands and how they moved like poetry, drawing the music out of the air.
Siean has installed Evercrack on my computer. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Jean came over later in the evening and we spent a good hour grubbing around in the backyard for worms and roly-polies. We found maybe five or six roly-polies and only one worm, although admittedly we weren't too keen on finding worms. Jean was grossed out by the whole thing; I was grossed out only by the worms. I played with roly-polies as a young child, poking them to watch them curl up and then rolling them around in my hand. Apparently Jean didn't, as she remained disgusted throughout the entire affair.
Bed now. Ta.
Sunday, November 24, 2002 [link]
10:31 a.m.
listening to: nothing
o/` I have a concert today laaaa o/`
This is my first real concert. I say "real" because it's not through school; it's through a private organization. Fortunately, PYMA isn't performing any songs on its own, the only stuff we're playing is going to be with PYMO. So I can hide behind the other horns if necessary. ^^;; I know I shouldn't think like that, but egads I just suck soooo much.
Saturday, November 23, 2002 [link]
11:21 p.m.
listening to: "Hallelujah" - Jeff Buckley
. . . I honestly have no idea if I should weep like a little girl or just joygasm at today's Arcana. Er. Tomorrow. Who cares? We have Vampire!Sloane! My, he looks sexy with fangs and glowy green eyes.
I can't believe I just said that. I fully expect all or most of the Sloane fans of the world to leap up and wring my neck now.
But he does!
Saturday, November 23, 2002 [link]
03:20 p.m.
listening to: "99.9 Fahrenheit Degrees" - Suzanne Vega
I just got my November SAT scores.
My overall score dropped thirty points. But! I got a perfect on the verbal section! This pleases me to no end. So what if my math score dropped eighty points from last time? I rocked the verbal! HA HA HA!
**sob**
Friday, November 22, 2002 [link]
11:36 p.m.
listening to: "Fifty-Fifty Chance" - Suzanne Vega
We won.
Against all odds, we won. This is the first time we have ever gone past round one of CIF.
I should be happy, but all I can do is scream about how this is going to cut into my Thanksgiving weekend. Rar.
I am also undergoing actual Teen Angst for perhaps the first time in my life. I'm not liking this at all.
Friday, November 22, 2002 [link]
04:01 p.m.
listening to: "Dark Times" - October Project
Football game today. Cheer for Costa Mesa, everyone, because if we win and go to the second round of CIF, it'll be during Thanksgiving Break. >_<
College applications are going very well. I expect to finish before Thanksgiving Break.
Thursday, November 21, 2002 [link]
05:02 p.m.
listening to: "Concerto in D Minor" - Vivaldi
I love violin concertos.
Nothing to say, really. My life is boring. I go to school, come home, study, eat, study some more, and then I go to bed.
Interviewed the mayor today. He's a nice guy; he's had an interesting life. Very involved in the community. This is his last term; after this, he's no longer running for reelection. I think this is a shame, because I think he's one of the few honest politicians left in this country. Sigh.
I'm hungry. The soup simmering in the next room smells really good, but it's not ready to eat yet.
College applications are well on their way to being done. I have all the extraneous stuff out of the way, like personal statement and teacher recommendations. Now all I have to do is send out my SAT scores and fill in the online forms. The paper ones are pretty much all done.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002 [link]
07:09 p.m.
listening to: "Sky Theme (instrumental)" - FFX OST
At last, field show season is over. It's been over since last night, actually, but I was so wiped that I fell into bed as soon as I got home.
It's kind of strange. Ever since my freshman year, I never really felt like the West Covina competition really "ended" anything. After all, it wasn't like I wouldn't see the seniors again; we still had an entire school year together. And it wasn't like band was over--there was still parade season.
But now that I am a senior, I finally see it. When Mrs. Hollis came around and hugged me, crying, saying that she'd miss all the seniors, I realized for maybe the first time that I'm leaving. I'm really leaving, and I may not see any of these people ever again for the rest of my life. It hasn't really sunk in, and now I look around and see all these people that have been a part of my life for four years and I realize that after this year, they're going to be out of my life, perhaps for good.
Being a senior is so strange, if only because I feel like I'm a senior. My freshman, sophomore, and junior years, I didn't really feel like anything had changed. But this year, doing college research, filling out college applications, and having people repeatedly ask me, "So, where are you going for college?" I really feel like a senior. This isn't true for everyone, of course, but it's certainly true for me.
Now I have to finish cleaning out my backpack so I can do my homework.
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