Colored Ink
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about me name: n/aaliases: kit, kits, kit kat, the smart girl, foxay, an chin age: 18 location: socal, usa hobbies: anime, manga, reading, writing, doodling, video games, french horn likes: all of the above, being lazy, mushrooms, cheese, animals, laughing loudly in public dislikes: nuts, stinging/biting insects, religious fanatics, violence, olives contact: coloredink@mailcity add .com wishlist playstation 2car summer job a good night's sleep money stress-free life trigun dvd box set realistic wishlist dayworld by philip josEfarmerkabuki by david mack long-term obsessions anime/mangayaoi/shounenai clamp music animals life and living video games current obsession(s) collegecurrently reading nothing newcurrently playing nothing newcurrently watching hana yori dango (20)utena (23) gto tv (27) mirage of blaze (6) witch hunter robin (18) weiß kreuz gluhen (9) naruto (36) wolf's rain (19) get backers (27) rose of versailles (16) matantei loki ragnarok (5) scrapped princess (7) |
Thursday, June 19, 2003 [link] 03:40 p.m. listening to: "Joe" - Al Walsh I just changed my color scheme, in case you didn't notice. . . . yeah. . . . Now it matches my website! . . . That's it, nothing to see here, move along. Thursday, June 19, 2003 [link] 02:49 p.m. listening to: various selections I need to archive soon. But before I do that, now it's time for Kit's Advice On How to Survive High School! Keep your grades up. I'm serious about this. Good grades == appeal to colleges == big bucks. Not only that, it's a lot easier to watch your grades drop than to bring them back up, so it's less work for you in the long run if you just work to maintain a high grade the entire semester rather than slack and then work your ass off to bring them up. Besides, if you keep your grades up, then you don't have to go to summer school, and you don't have to worry about not graduating. Be committed. Don't join a slew of clubs your freshman year and then drop out of 95% of them after a year or two. Don't take on too much at once. Pick a handful you're sincerely interested in and try to stick with them, whether it be chess club, marching band, or the volleyball team. But if it stops being fun--and if you start dragging others down--then get out. Don't ruin it for everyone else. Don't procrastinate. This is the biggie. Yes, it can always be done tomorrow. The problem is, tomorrow you're going to have three other projects you've been putting off, and then you pull an all-nighter and still don't get everything done. It's better to work on a long-term project in little pieces over a long duration than try to get it all done at once. Don't get senioritis. Yes, I know it's your last year. Yes, I know you've already been accepted to a college. But that college probably isn't going to want you if your GPA suddenly drops by a full point, and that college definitely won't want you if you don't graduate. And really, there's nothing quite as humiliating or sucktastic than not graduating with the rest of your class because you failed English your freshman year or something. Challenge yourself. Don't pick all the easy classes because you know you'll get A's in them. That doesn't really impress the colleges, and it doesn't do you any good, either. You'll grow and learn more in challenging classes, and you don't run the risk of getting bad grades simply because you're bored. Besides, the number of "easy A's" falls significantly in college, and if you don't start learning how to work now, you're doomed for the rest of your life. Develop a niche. Don't settle for simply being "the smart kid" or "the jock." Try and figure out something you're good at or love--something you can focus on, and something that will make you stand out. This is a tough one; don't worry if you don't figure it out right away, or even if you don't figure it out by your senior year. Some of the most brilliant people in the world didn't know what they were going to do when they were eighteen--and they probably still don't, at age thirty-four. But it'll save you a lot of trouble and worry if you figure it out early. Try to get along with your teachers. Your life will be much less miserable. Even if your teacher is a scum-sucking, mouth-breathing bag of germs, try to get along with him/her. Don't give him/her a reason to hate you. Teachers are human too, and maybe they don't feel as inclined to give you those three points that will bring your grade up to a B if you're been a snotty asshole in that class all year. Keep nasty thoughts to yourself. Have fun. Yeah, I know all my previous advice involved hard work, but this one involves having fun. Even if you're having horrible problems at home, try to have fun at school. Don't go out of your way to make your own life miserable. That's pointless and self-defeating. Try to enjoy the high school experience, because it's all gonna go downhill from there, believe me. Thursday, June 19, 2003 [link] 1:07 a.m. listening to: "Down in the River to Pray" - O Brother, Where Art Thou? I'm sleepy but don't quite want to go to bed yet, so it's the perfect time for a deep, contemplative post. Or maybe just contemplative. I'm not sure if I'm capable of being deep. So now, it's time for Kit's Worldly Advice. Or something like that. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty young and there's still a whole lotta shit I have to go through before I can really dispense advice. The thing is that when I'm old enough to be a qualified advice-giver, I'll be too old for anyone to want to listen to. Sigh. Well, anyway, I know there are some young'uns who read my blog, so this is for you guys. Learn to let things go. This is something you know, intellectually, you have to do. This is also something that, emotionally is really hard to do when it comes down to it. And I don't mean just letting go of people and objects, but also emotions like anger, grief, and regret. It hurts less if you roll with the punches--trust me. Don't leave things undone. Yeah, okay, this one's kind of impossible, but you can come really close. It should be, more appropriately, don't leave behind any regrets. No unfinished business. Say things that need to be said, do things that need to be done. And then, afterwards, it'll be that much easier to look forward, not back. This one goes together well with the last Worldly Advice. Work hard, play hard. Keep your grades up, but don't forget to have fun. It's a terrible thing, to be a straight-A student and look back and wonder if it was really all worth it. But you're not nerdy or a loser if you do all your homework and study, either. Take it from the one who's getting thirty-thousand dollars to go to college next year. Just remember that there's more to life than textbooks, and which one makes the better memories. Ask questions. Question everything, even the answers you receive. Cultivate a healthy skepticism of authority. It'll stand you in good stead. That doesn't mean you can be a mouthy brat--have respect for the other person's opinions and sources, but take everything with a grain of salt. Don't formulate your own opinions until you have all the facts. Don't make assumptions, especially based on second-hand accounts. Smile. Have more friends than you do enemies. If possible, have no enemies at all. Make an attempt to get along with people. Develop good listening skills. Learn how to make good conversation. Be complimentary without being flattering. Don't lie, but you don't have to tell all of the truth, either. Be generous when you can, but sensible and thrifty most of the time. Make a good first impression. A little goes a long way, especially when it comes to diplomacy, and good manners cost nothing. Be humble. You're not always right. Don't even think you're always right. In fact, try and assume you're wrong 98% of the time. At best, you'll be right and you can be smug for a little bit, and at worst you'll learn something new. There's always room for improvement. Accept compliments with grace, but don't let them get your head. That said, build a thick skin. Don't let it get so thick that you become callous, but learn not to take things so personally. The person who just called you a nasty name meant to hurt your feelings, so don't give them the satisfaction of being right. Ignoring the bully works 85% of the time. Let things roll off you. Be flexible and versatile. Look after yourself. There won't always be someone around to look after you. Learn how to cook, clean, and balance your checkbook. The world in general does not give a shit about your problems with your significant other, your neuroses, or your financial troubles. You have to clean up your own messes. That said, try and look after yourself before looking after others. You don't do anyone any good if you neglect yourself and pass out while making applesauce for the poor sick granny down the street. Try to see the glass half-full. There is always someone worse off than you. Trust me. And boy, you just feel like shit when you read about how someone else has been living on one package of ramen and a can of beans for a week and you're whining about how you're not getting that new guitar for Christmas. Keep your problems in perspective. You are not as bad off as you think you are. If you have three meals a day, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and aren't being horribly physically/mentally/emotionally abused, then I'd say you have all your needs provided for. If you have more than that, then I'd say you're probably damn lucky. Besides, people who look on the bright side tend to be happier and live longer. I think that's it--for now, anyway. I'm sleepy and can't think anymore. And yeah, I don't follow half the advice I just gave out here, but they're all things I keep in mind and try to follow, even if I fail miserably. Meh. Wednesday, June 18, 2003 [link] 10:09 p.m. listening to: the kids watching Naruto So I'm home now, and I'm full of soda and fried chicken and feeling somewhat sleepy and very content. I'd like to say something deep, I guess, but I'm not really in the mood for it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Gen, if you haven't given up completely on ever meeting, Rachel's spending the night on Thursday and we'll go down on Friday. So how's Friday for you? Wednesday, June 18, 2003 [link] 05:24 p.m. listening to: "Graduation" - Vitamin C So, I'm sitting in front of the computer in my graduation robe with my pointy hat and tassel and everything. I am only now beginning to feel nervous. As little as four minutes ago, the only thoughts forefront in my mind were, "Crap, I should have ironed my robe" and "How the fuck do you get this collar on?" So my robe's a little creased, and I figure I'll wait until I get to the auditorium to find someone to put on my collar. Oh, and I need to find socks. I'm leaving for the auditorium in something like five to ten minutes, so I don't really have the time for a long, meaningful post about graduating right now. Maybe I'll write one when I get back. Or maybe I'll never write one at all; I might fall asleep as soon as I get home. We'll see. The funny thing is, this isn't the end. I know it isn't. I know it isn't even the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning. I--we--still have an entire summer ahead. But that's the in-between stage, I guess; "the dreaming," as someone might put it, where you're not quite going forward and you're not quite going back, like that time before you're born and after you die. Then August will roll around, and I'll be listening to songs like The End of the Summer on loop, and then I'll really feel scared about the future. But not now. Right now, I have to go find socks. Tuesday, June 17, 2003 [link] 07:44 p.m. listening to: "Wind" - Akeboshi I'm graduating tomorrow. It's a strange, surreal feeling. I have a somewhat odd request. If you've taken a picture of me recently--and I know several people reading this have, indeed, taken a picture of me--and you have a digital camera, would you do me a favor and email that picture to me at coloredink@mailcity.com, preferably before the 23rd? Thanks. Monday, June 16, 2003 [link] 04:06 p.m. listening to: "Graduation" - Vitamin C Graduation rehearsal today. It was very boring and long and I didn't like it. But we got free donuts. I ate two and a half. Very frustrated. I want to go downtown and meet Gen as we've been planning to since fucking March, but things are beginning to get in the way again, and I'm not liking this. I just want to say "fuckit" and go down there myself on Thursday, Grad Nite be damned. Rar rar rar. /cranky Sunday, June 15, 2003 [link] 11:39 a.m. listening to: "Champagne Supernova" - Oasis So my dad says that we're going to start showing the house next weekend. However, he says that before we do that, we should look at some other Open Houses to get an idea of what price we should set for the house. I almost said, "Well, why don't we call a real estate broker and get an opinion?" before realizing that, uh, my father is a real estate broker, and I'm an idiot. This just goes to show that I'm stupid and you should never, ever listen to anything I say. Saturday, June 14, 2003 [link] 08:13 p.m. listening to: "Firestarter" - Prodigy Got back from Six Flags about forty-five minutes ago. Am very tired and have a headache. I don't like theme parks, mainly because I don't like going on rides. I don't believe the human body is meant to plummet at speeds in excess of forty miles per hour with nothing shielding it. Apologies to Vanessa for not making her party. I doubt you wanted me there anyway, as I'm absolutely horrid in social situations. Gen: I probably can't meet you tomorrow, seeing as it's Father's Day. However, I can meet you either Monday/Tuesday (after one o' clock--I have graduation rehearsal in the morning) or we can spend the whole bloody day together on Thursday because I no longer have any obligations. I'm getting so fed up with never meeting that I may go downtown on my own. Blarg. Your call? Friday, June 13, 2003 [link] 03:48 p.m. listening to: "Worlds Apart" - Jars of Clay Last official day of school today. I'm tired as hell, even though I did nothing all day. Must have been waiting in line for over an hour to get my (^$#%@ cap and gown. Things to do: - pay Mr. Edo twelve dollars - pay Ms. Lopez fifteen dollars - get a Coke can And now I am off to drink Snapple. Mmmm, Snapple. I spent five hours yesterday trying to figure out what kind of music my characters like. It was fun and frustrating. I now have slowly growing collections of alternative music and Christian rock. Thursday, June 12, 2003 [link] 06:21 p.m. listening to: "Good Enough" - Sarah McLachlan For those of you who like my writing geekiness but don't read my LJ (which is odd, because that's, uh, where all my writing geekiness goes), I have some info that may interest you. That is, two of my characters now have AIM sns and email addresses. Keiji will occasionally be seen on AIM as chikunglung and can be reached via email at iamdragon@shike.org. Jesse is, in turn, normalordinarysn and can be found at inthewilderness@shike.org. The email addresses were provided most generously by Jasmine. Feel free to drop a line or say hi. Tuesday, June 10, 2003 [link] 10:14 p.m. listening to: same as before Still no sign of giant bug. Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe it keeled over dead. And now, please allow me to be pissy and cranky for a few minutes. Yes, I am pissy and cranky right now. I may fly into a seething rage and yell profanities at you at any moment. If you want to pick my brain or play shrink, go the fuck away. I expect my miserable mood to clear up around the beginning of summer vacation. Until then, I want to be left alone. Do not approach me. Let me approach you. Life will be much more pleasant for all concerned that way. No, I do not want to participate in any end-of-the-year activities. As I stated above, I am currently moody and snarky, and this means I am more antisocial than usual. Do not ask me, "But why???" when I say that no, I don't want to go to Grad Nite/attend the Senior Banquet/fly a damn kite in the park. Trust me, when I'm like this, you don't want me there. I'll throw the punch bowl at someone. Honestly, I wasn't planning to go to any of the senior activities from the moment I got the list with all the activities on it. I don't even really want to go to graduation. If the idea of not being social is foreign to you and you are staring at the screen incredulously, don't talk to me about it. I am an antisocial bitch. I want to sit at home by myself and be miserable. I think that's it. Thank you, drive through. Tuesday, June 10, 2003 [link] 07:34 p.m. listening to: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" - Vitamin C Back. No sign of the monstrous vermin, but there are Large, Brave People about who are willing to capture/kill it should it show a single antennae. This song makes me nostalgic. Tuesday, June 10, 2003 [link] 04:42 p.m. listening to: "2 + 2 = 5" - Radiohead Oh my God, there's some sort of giant, freakish bug hanging off the venetian blinds. If anyone needs me, I'll be cowering in my room re-reading Watership Down. Send me all my meals in there until someone catches and kills this thing. Monday, June 9, 2003 [link] 06:21 p.m. listening to: "Cathedrals" - Jump, Little Children Good comics make you laugh like hell and then turn around and punch you in the gut. There are some comics that you come to expect just humor from, such as Something Positive. And for the most part, it is just humor. Sometimes crude/vulgar humor, but still the kind that makes you laugh your ass off. And how can you not love a boneless kitty? Then it broke my heart with the Daddy's Little Girl arc. And now, there is usr/bin/w00t. I mean, c'mon, there's an asshat. It has talking video games. It makes me grin and laugh myself silly. Then, it too, turned around and broke my heart. I'll be over here being nostalgic. Monday, June 9, 2003 [link] 02:57 p.m. listening to: "ELM" - Yoko Kanno So, as my father is still not back from Seattle, I took the bus home today. I had a nice chat with a girl who wants to go to a continuation school because she doesn't like normal school and wants to have more freedom and learn at her own pace. Then the bus driver attempted to ask a little old Chinese lady for her bus pass, but apparently she didn't understand English. So I tried to translate, but I didn't understand a thing she was saying. She didn't seem interested in communicating, either; she'd say something in Mandarin very rapidly, and then laugh hysterically. It wasn't until I got off the bus that I recalled seeing her take a gulp of something that looked very potent from a small flask and realized that she was probably drunk. But as a result of my feeble attempts at communication, I missed my bus stop and had to walk three blocks. And now, hang on, because Kit's got her ranting pants on! Now that I'm a senior, I realize how incredibly messed up the school system is. This rant is also likely to be incoherent, but, uh, yeah. Just bear with me. First of all, I hate how test scores seem to be used as a measure for everything. SATs, ACT, AP, IB, blah blah blah. But you know, test scores are not everything. They are not necessarily an indicator of how well a kid does in college. Neither are they an indicator of how well a kid does in life. Maybe he got all A's on his tests, but in a real-life situation he doesn't know what to do. There is no substitute for real-life experience. Then there's this site, which disgusts me. I read about two paragraphs and stopped, because it represents everything that I hate about school and the college system. When I look at that website, I think of people jumping off of a certain bridge at Cornell University. I think of my father's friend in an insane asylum in Salem, Oregon. I think of freshmen swallowing too many pills. Kids push themselves harder and harder--or are being pushed by their parents--to get into good schools, only to end up losing their way and, in a worst-case scenario, committing suicide. I look at that website and I think, okay, so now you're in Harvard. Congratu-fucking-lations. Do you have any idea what you want to do for the next forty-some years of your life? Do you have any idea what real life is like? Or did you spend all your time making yourself look good to the Ivy League admissions officers? And I thought I had no life. I'm lucky in that I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. There are plenty of kids out there who don't, and they feel stupid. They feel lost. They think they're behind because at age eighteen they don't know what they want to do. They want to get off the academic superhighway and explore some intriguing side roads, but they can't find a way to get off the ride. There seems to be so much emphasis on white-collar jobs, too--but what if someone wants to be a garbage collector for the rest of his life? What if someone wants to be a gardener? What if someone's content to be a puppeteer? How do you know? Where and when and how do you find the time and energy to explore these things when it's this requirement and that requirement and oh colleges like to see a well-rounded student and you can get college credit for this? What if someone wants to learn at his own pace? What if someone just wants to wait? Don't get me wrong, I know there are kids who go to Harvard and become ridiculously successful. Good for them; I salute them. I'm sure they worked hard, and they deserve it. But if your life up until college graduation was nothing but academics, you're not going to have any idea of what Real Life is like. As a very nice person observed to me, when you're worrying about where your next meal is coming from, when you're wondering how you're going to pay the rent, getting an A in your anthropology class suddenly isn't that important. Perspective is needed. So, uh, yeah. Relax. Chill. I joke about it, but school isn't everything. Your grades are not everything. Your college's name and ranking is not everything. Don't worry if you don't know what you're going to do for the rest of your life; some people at thirty-five still don't. It matters what you do with your life and the education you got, not where you spent the first twenty-one years. There are people out there with Master's degrees who sit on their asses because they can't find a job. You're also not as fat as you think you are. And while you're at it, wear sunscreen. |
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